Hey everyone

Life is alright lately, things are not fantastic but not bad.
I have to watch out for my spendings but i want to leave a lot of new art and characters i didnt upload since last time.
I hope all of your are also feeling at least alright lately.

thank you for taking the time to read this~

Lately things are on a upturn
I actually start making ideas to adopt some less unique characters from gideon and create new morphs.
The most ambitious plan is to create 2 female, 1-2 herm characters and 1 new male addition. I want them to not look like a copy.
Big shoutout to the following People for inspiring and improving my life with their gorgeous characters and art.
 AoLun  whisperfoot  grammaticerror  LoopySnoopy  TriDarkX  Spacefur4  carmessi  DogRey  KittyKage  QuoteFox  Dyveira and so many more.
Sadly the latest news on this date is that watching all these incredible creative and well made characters and accounts makes me feel very melancolic and sort of despressed. Its a feeling of watching people far far above me, like some sort of elite class of people.
Maybe at some point im able to also get characters that are Anthros and get well used with lore behind them.
There are differences between characters made for kinks and characters that are truly a extention of someones personality.
Maybe, just maybe im able to reach this point some day. In the time i spent on this site, i was told people would get "right extreme vibes" from my profile, i hope thats wrong. I know you cant make everyone happy, but its the way i am, its all i know. I only can change my way of talking towards the interests of others. Besides a few exceptions i always try to do what the majority wants to hear or leastangers the majority.
For now im gonna try to stay as positive as possible and im glad to get to know more people to talk to, even though im difficult to talk to at times.
Thanks for everyone that stuck around with me.
<3

I have to deal with a lot of motivation and confidence issues. My ideas, my characters and my surroundings all feel odd and wrong.
This is not another guy trying to get attention with problems i just want to provide context.
Im possibly going to sell most if not all of my characters because everything feels wrong.
To put it into words it feels like im not part of anything or any kind of group and am never able to get the joy or passion
for things so many of the people i follow have.
The people i follow are a big part of my life as their ideas and characters give me things to dream about, get joy from and strength to continue.
This Whole FA Page i use is a collection of a very big part of my life and is really important to me. I met so many people and even though i cant
talk to all of them nor can i keep a sort of frequent chat i enjoyed getting to know them.
It might seem pointless to write this down but it feels like a weight is lifted off my chest and i hope some people might see this and see me as a bit more than just a random online profile following them.
That said im glad if YOU read through all of this and hope you are having a amazing time in the fandom and also a far better set of mind than i do.
Nobody should have to deal with such boosts of sadness, depression and feelings of doing nothing good.

Greetings everyone.

I know with my last journal things already look not very good but now a friend of mine seems to found himself in a pretty bad situation.
If anyone of you can share a tiny bit of money even if its just 1$ it would help to get his life back on the road.
Im gonna link the GoFundme down below so you know where to go.
To anyone who can share a bit of money it would be massively appreciated and i thank you for helping him.

https://gofund.me/ed145ff9

I hope all of you can have a very nice christmas season and enjoy the time with their loved ones.
Enjoy the holidays and get well in the next year.

I have to deal with a lot of motivation and confidence issues. My ideas, my characters and my surroundings all feel odd and wrong.
This is not another guy trying to get attention with problems i just want to provide context.
Im possibly going to sell most if not all of my characters because everything feels wrong.
To put it into words it feels like im not part of anything or any kind of group and am never able to get the joy or passion
for things so many of the people i follow have.
The people i follow are a big part of my life as their ideas and characters give me things to dream about, get joy from and strength to continue.
This Whole FA Page i use is a collection of a very big part of my life and is really important to me. I met so many people and even though i cant
talk to all of them nor can i keep a sort of frequent chat i enjoyed getting to know them.
It might seem pointless to write this down but it feels like a weight is lifted off my chest and i hope some people might see this and see me as a bit more than just a random online profile following them.
That said im glad if YOU read through all of this and hope you are having a amazing time in the fandom and also a far better set of mind than i do.
Nobody should have to deal with such boosts of sadness, depression and feelings of doing nothing good.
I will try to move off the stage of the internet more and enjoy the art of others, rather than recreating art of incredible characters with my worse ideas.
Im still gonna try to be talkative over on Discord but i wont upload much more art for now because there are others with far better characters.
Please, if you like any of my characters, feel free to ask if you want to adopt them.

Have a good day and enjoy the fantastic art of all those incredibly talented and creative individuals on this and other platforms.
To all of the friends i listed and met on my way im glad that i could meet you and become more than just a commissioner, i wish you all the best life has to offer, good luck and health.
May you life very long and fulfilled lifes

<3

Here is the link to his gofundme page in case anyone has a couple of dollar to spare,
it would help a lot even if you can spare just a few dollars.

https://www.gofundme.com/f/gravity-.....va-boss-battle

Hello,

It has been a while since my last Journal but things have become more clear i think.
Let me share my thoughts with you that really bother me.

-About OC's and Sona's:
Something very difficult for me is creating lore and building out characters and personalities. I feel im very distant to the world surrounding me. I have a hard time thinking about what clothes my characters could wear for example or even a certain style. I have seen a lot of great OC's/Sonas's over the last years. Something that seems to define me currently is that if i see a character i really adore and love, im trying to get a character sharing these characteristics.

I feel very unhappy about my characters since a lot are not very far developed and also not very often used in new art.
When i looks at some Users with the characters that i love a lot i see how much details and things are flowing in these images that give them so much more depth and personality. In comparision my own images feel mostly hollow.
To see what i mean here are some characters and users i mean:

-Synthia Vice from Dyveira
-Bryanna from NexyB
-Marika from Teer
-Phrase from XArchangel
-Cox from Gideon
-Jamie from Cylnx
-Meryl from Quote
-Gala from Carmessi
-Reiko or Kyoko from Mastergodai
-Shane from Mariagator

To name a few.

I decided that i am propably going to sell a few of my characters. I cant tell which ones yet, i will name them in a future Journal.
I hope i will get back to be more happy when i have fewer characters but better developed.

I am happy for everyone that decided to follow me here over the past years and i thank you all for the faves and comments. I really hope you might still stay and enjoy future Submissions. Feel free to also comment below this to share your thoughts about my plan with me.

Thank you for taking the time and reading so far, stay tuned for my next Journal.

Have a amazing day and stay safe

Sincerely
BIGM32x (Mike)

I have to make this Journal to let everyone know some important news and changes.

I currently have big financial issues and think i know why, the art i upload.
Usually i try to upload at least one image per month which i mostly exceed. It feels like there is a lot of pressure on my shoulders that i need to upload more and better submissions even though
nobody specifically asks me to do so.
There are also big issues with my confidence when it comes to commissioning art. I look up to a lot of people and how they create their own world around their oc's and feel like i somehow
get not further than roughly immitating such well made stories and images. In my oppinion everything i try to write or commission seems really hollow.
Lots of people really enjoy characters that are rarely or not used at all and ask themselves if they are adoptable. For some people that might be rude but i want to say that i can
absolutely understand that feeling. Since i will post less images in the near future such questions are allowed and depending which characters are getting interest i might give some of my OC's away.

I deeply apologise for the lack of art in the coming time but this is getting really out of hand
which is why i have to drastically reduce my spendings.

Thanks for everyone for reading this far and dont forget that i allow questions about adopting characters of me.

Looks like most people are interested in seeing all the art i got of Jasmine.

I hope not too many people will hate the images though :O

So, feedback in form of faves and comments would be much appreciated.

There is one Character in my OC list i havent uploaded a lot of (Jasmine).

99% of the art i got from her was made by the artist "Cute Skyler" http://www.cuteskyler.art/

I decided to ask you if you would want to see the rest of her which would mean that there would be quite a bit of MC art uploaded.

Just comment Yes or No and after a few days i guess i will do what got the most votes.

Thank you for reading this and have a nice day :)