hm, im not really ssure how to really phrase this update, it will be much shorter then the last but:
things have only been getting worse ngl, im on the verge of being kicked out because i skipped a few days of college due to severe tooth pain, i had a horrible encounter with nailboards (i got out of there intime), i was unjustly tazed by an officer due to schizophrenia, online drama shit, my classes being too hard for me to handle, family being much more insane then usual, and ive relapsed into cutting/drinking.. idk i dont really feel anything anymore, just that hopeless greif/pain in your chest. idk i dont really see the value in living on a day to day basis ngl, I do really care for my friends and my lover, and all the people who love my work, but its to a point where the sorrow that comes every day heavily outweighs the good in my days. don't be worried, im not gonna kill myself or anything, just like.. . it does sound appealing yk? idk i just want to get my feelings out there, im not gonna end it all ont worry, i just keep pushing through despite the unbearable pain, but i just felt like atleast putting my feelings out there for anyone whos curious. i know it can be hard to see artists as like, real people sometimes so idk, im being real with yall