I'm glad you're not supposed to judge a book by its title, because my God that is an awful title, even for my standards lol.

First of the commissions done, this one for  thisisanuncreativename of his sharky thief Raymondo helping himself to some of Zero's cooking. What happens when one fat thief steals from the other? Big things, let me tell you~

I hope you all enjoy~

---

“I’ve gotta say, Sheero, you’ve really outdone yourself!”

The zoroark’s ears perked up from the praise, smiling as he turned to look outside the kitchen. “T-thank you, Zero! I’m glad you like it!”

Zero chuckled as he stood in the doorway, or rather, filling out the doorway. The doughy skunk’s green gut preceded him as he squeezed into the dining room, rubbing his pudgy green mitts together. “What’s not to like? Everything looks, smells, even sounds fantastic!”

Indeed, it was an impressive spread. Laid out on the dining room table was enough seafood to satiate an entire beachside! Fried Alaskin Cod still sizzling on its plate of lettuce, plump and juicy shrimp hanging off a bowl of cocktail sauce, beer battered fish tacos in soft tortillas, and more completely filled the table meant for eight, the warm hues of the golden-brown fried food lighting up the otherwise bland linoleum room. It was almost impossible to even see the tablecloth beneath such a spread!

The skunk licked his lips, his doughy middle letting out a low growl. “Heh, I could smell ya cooking all the way from the otherside of the house! To be honest, I’m not sure I can wait much longer,” Zero purred, eyeing the collection of seafood as if they were glittering jewels. Indeed, the rich, hearty aroma of their dinner had seeped into every vacant opening in the wealthy skunk’s impressive mansion, making it near impossible to escape from for the two males.

Unbeknownst to them, however, they weren’t the only ones enjoying the smell.

Sheero chuckled, turning back to the work at hand. “Well, you’ll have to try waiting a little longer, sir. I’m not quite finished yet. In the meantime, please don’t sample anything yet,” the zoroark explained, before suddenly craning his head behind him, glaring at the skunk. “I mean it.”

Zero gulped audibly, trying to sneak in a bite of a fishstick. Chuckling nervously, the pudgy mustelid tossed the fried morsel back onto its plate. “Heheh, w-was just testing your reflex, was all.”

With a half-hearted smirk, Sheero turned back, and Zero was forced to anxiously wait as the zoroark finished up the rest of the meal. He didn’t dare venture into the kitchen, knowing it’d be harder for his apprentice to cook with a 3 foot wide skunk in the way, yet the gluttonous mustelid stood as close as he could get without interfering with the pokemon’s way. There, his eyes widened at the glorious sight before him: a plate of scarlet-red lobster tails, split open to reveal a treasure trove of delicious meat, not to mention the layers of parsley, chives, garlic, and black pepper.

Zero’s stomach rumbled again, and Sheero looked up from his handiwork, flashing the tubby skunk a smirk. “You know this isn’t all for you, right?”

“I know, but can’t a guy dream?” The green dough ball huffed, watching the zoroark pour a generous amount of melted butter along the lobster tails. The carb-loaded dishes would have wreaked havoc on anyone’s waistlines, Zero’s portly figure a testament to the potency of his protoge’s calorie-intense cooking. The skunk was certainly well aware of this fact, yet he continuously cast quick glances towards the impressive feast, as if considering turning himself into a sphere of blubber if it meant indulging himself just a little.

At last, Sheero finally strode out from the kitchen with his newest dish, the zoroark searching for a vacant spot on the table to slide the platter of lobster tails on. “Phew, sorry for the wait, sir.”

“Oh, no need to apologize! The food was well worth the wait!” The skunk exclaimed loudly, slurping his chubby cheeks.

Dinner time was finally here. The zoroark slid into his seat, while Zero flopped onto his two chairs. “Thanks for the grub, Sheero! Can’t wait to finally stuff my face! Everything looks perfect!” The skunk squealed, seemingly oblivious to how noisy his praises were, even as Sheero flinched. Without waiting any longer, the tubby mustelid scooped up a forkful of tuna casserole, slowly bringing it up to his gaping maw, and took a bite.

Clink!

Zero blinked, scowling. Rather than tasting the warm, gooey casserole, the skunk’s teeth clanged against his metal fork. Furrowing his brows, he scooped up a second forkful and tried for another bite, only to once again bite into his own silverware. “Oh, come on! Not again!” Zero yelled, stubbornly reaching for more and more of his meal. And yet every time, it was taken right from under his nose, his whiskers fluttering from the breeze.

Sheero watched the spectacle from the other side of the table, frowning. “Z-zero, I-”

“Not now, Sheero! I can’t let him win this time!” The skunk snarled, this time snatching up a fish stick in his arm. Quickly, he retracted it, huddling over the fingerfood like a football player, before opening wide to scarf it down.

Click!

Zero gasped, no longer able to even see past his own snout! Someone had killed the lights, the entire room veiled in black. They were as blind as bats; Sheero staying completely still in his chair while his tubby mentor fumbled about. Just as soon as they left, the lights suddenly flickered on, temporarily blinding the duo. When their eyes adjusted, they saw how the room had been left untouched, with nothing missing.

Save for the food, of course. Every last crumb.

“No…” Zero looked on at the sight with horror and disbelief, his dropped jaw bunching up his chins. The skunk stood up to better ascertain the situation, but found nothing but empty platters and pitchers, as well as a very confused zoroark on the other side of the table. In a fit of desperation, he dropped onto his hands and knees, belly pressing against the floor in order to look beneath his table. There, he could see a small trail of crumbs leading out from beneath the table towards the door, where a small note could be found. Shaking with barely-suppress rage, the skunk reached forward to pick it up.

“Consider this a favor from me to you. You might finally be able to stick to a diet without all this food to tempt you! -Raymondo”

---

Cunning, silent, speedy. Those were the words described by Raymondo’s victims whenever they managed to glimpse the shark stealing their meals. Some caught a glance of his steel-blue hide, others noticed his dark-grey sweater and baggy blue sweats. A few have even commented on his somewhat doughy figure. But no one could ever fully piece together who the shark was, where he came from, and more importantly, how he could make off with a treasure trove of food without ever getting caught.

The shark cackled mischievously as he dashed through the mansion’s hallways, his forked tail swishing behind him. Talk about giving them the slip! That tubby skunk couldn’t even keep up with him, even as he stole food right out from the mustelid’s fork! “I bet that poor fatty’s only now thinking about checking under the table! What a loser,” he snickered to himself.

Raymondo isn’t just a thief; he’s the best thief there is, at least when food was involved! The stealthy shark was a natural when it came to taking what he wanted, getting in and out in a flash without anyone suspecting a thing. Despite his somewhat pudgy predisposition (he did like to steal food, after all), Ray was as quick as he was silent, able to clear an entire room in short bursts before anyone could blink. He often put that skill to good use when it came to clearing out an entire pantry’s worth of food or, in Zero’s case, robbing an entire banquet.

He was also surprisingly strong, the shark carrying a burlap sack filled with food as large as himself! The entire seafood feast, every last scrap, was stuffed into that stack, jangling and bouncing around. It was a very heavy sack, but Ray hardly seemed affected, even as he leapt over the living room couch in a single bound. Sure, it did slow him down some, and it meant he couldn’t squeeze through any windows or vents, but it wasn’t like he was in any real danger of getting caught! He had pulled these kinds of heists constantly against the skunk and zoroark, and considering how skittish Sheero was and how fat Zero was, they probably weren’t even in pursuit!

Ray was fast, strong, and stealthy. But most of all, he was greedy.

“Hey, these fish sticks are actually pretty good!” The shark exclaimed, pulling out a handful from the bag slung over his shoulder. Unsurprisingly, all the food tumbling around in the sack ended up smooshing together, turning the dozens of distinct servings of seafood into a big pile of salty gunk, yet Ray wasn’t picky. If anything, molding all that food together seemingly enhanced the taste. It was like sampling three to four different cuisines in one bite! The shark grinned toothily, licking along his sauce-coated muzzle. That zoroark was turning into one heck of a cook; this meal tasted way better than his previous one!

Allowing himself a moment’s respite, the shark slowed himself to a halt, leaning against the hallway’s wall. Unslinging the oversized sack, Ray reached in, grabbing a handful of whatever was inside, and crammed it into his maw. His forked tail curled in delight as he was rewarded with the flavor of shrimp, garlic, and tuna, all mushed together into a gooey, crunchy, delicious ball of gunk! He went for another handful, discovering the same flavor now mixed in with yellowtail. The next, a zingy mix of cocktail sauce and pufferfish. Normally, these food combinations would clash horribly, yet Ray found himself enthralled at how scrumptious each and every bite was!

Abandoning any reservations, Ray started using both paws to scoop the messy sludge to his toothy muzzle, gulping them down one right after the other. He had never stopped himself in the middle of a heist to indulge himself before; this slop really was to die for! Sure, a part of him was paranoid he was sticking around longer than he should, but then again, when would he get the chance to taste something this good when it was still hot and fresh? It was so rich and filling, each bite as satisfying as polishing off an entire meal, yet he was barely making a dent in his food stash! Rumbling in delight, the shark continued eating and eating, and eating some more. He hardly seemed to care about his possible capture, which meant that fitting in his own clothes was the farthest thing from his mind. The shark hardly noticed when his steel-blue belly started poking out from beneath his sweater, or how his sweats were starting to cling to his thighs.

He may have stood there gorging himself on his spoils throughout the entire night were it not for the hearty belch that interrupted his binging.

“Hurf, ‘scuse me,” the shark huffed to himself, patting his chest. His casual expression turned into one of alarm as he rubbed at his chest, finding much more squish to it than before. With an anxious gulp, the thief slowly looked down, his eyes widening further.

He had gotten fat, well, fatter! His soft chest was developing a defined shape, with a shelf of moob fat visible beneath his tight sweater. His porcine potbelly had turned into a full on gut, his sweater no longer able to contain the blueish sphere of blubber that sagged over his pants’ waistline. The further he looked down, the more he was aware of his own double chin squishing into his muzzle, or his wobbling cheeks appearing in his peripheral vision. Whimpering nervously, the shark reached his broad arms around and hefted his gut into them, silently praying for this all to be a food bloat. Alas, his belly molded and squished into his arms, folding upwards before bouncing back to its original shape with a loud glorp. Soft and yielding. Fat.

“M-Maybe I need to try cutting back a little,” Ray muttered to himself. Yet, as he said that, his paw subconsciously reached back into the bag, pulling out another clump of seafood for the shark to eat. Upon tasting its exquisite flavors once again, the shark let out a quiet moan, almost forgetting why he was anxious in the first place. Sure, he was getting pretty pudgy, but he had always been a bit on the soft side. It wasn’t like a few extra pounds were gonna slow him down much. Just a few more bites and he’ll get back to escaping...maybe a few more after that...one or two more bites can’t hurt, right? Make that three, or four, or-

*riiip!*

Ray nearly choked on his food as that sound permeated the air, wide-eyed as he felt a breeze along his back. He lifted his arms, wincing as the tearing sound grew wider, realizing with a nervous gulp that he had just torn the back of his sweater! This couldn’t be happening; how was he gaining so much weight from just a few bites of food?! Was it really that fattening, or was it laced with something?

Testing his own hypothesis (as well as giving himself an excuse to eat more), Ray scooped out two large pawfuls of seafood slop before shoving it into his muzzle, swallowing it with a single gulp. A few seconds later, the shark was horrified to watch his belly swell outwards a few extra inches, now rivaling the size of Zero’s! On top of that, he could feel his sweatpants dig painfully tight into his waistline as the extra pounds redistributed themselves around him, the fabric stretched skin tight along his tree trunk thighs. There was no doubt about it; the food was laced with a fattening agent.

And Ray was hopelessly addicted to it!

With a huff, the obese shark trudged forward, although his speedy scamper was replaced with a wobbling waddle. His weight wasn’t the issue; those curvaceous hips and thighs of his were, requiring him to swing one doughy leg around the other, digging his knees into his overhanging gut. Not only that, but his tight clothes hampered his movements quite a bit, making it harder for him to swing his arms, move his legs,

and feed himself.

Ray whimpered in guilt as he found himself still reaching for the fattening food, unable to bring himself to ditch his treasure behind. He worked so hard to fetch it, he figured, although that reasoning was growing flimsier by the second. In reality, he couldn’t bear to leave so much good food behind, his gluttony becoming his own downfall. That bag of food was dangerous, having blimped him up to over twice his previous size, yet remaining more than 3/4ths full!

And still he couldn’t. Stop. Eating!

The shark let out a hearty belch, quickly stuffing another sloppy handful of sludge down his throat. With every bite, his shirt rode higher, now serving as a bra for his impressive moobs after his sleeves tore away. His sweat pants were following suit, long tears running down the thief’s doughy thighs, his flab spilling through any crevice they can find. Similarly, his rump, larger than his gut once was, freed itself as the jiggling mound tore through his sweats, squishing against his fattening tail.

He was panicking, the shark unable to think straight with his mind hooked on the fattening food. He knew he was so close to escaping, yet he found himself taking detour after detour, entrapping himself in the impossibly large mansion. Time and time again, the waddling blob wound up in one of the manor’s lavish living rooms. Oh, how he wanted to finally take a load off and collapse onto one of those couches, to finally free himself of his worry and to stuff himself to his heart’s content without a care in the world. To allow his gluttony to go unrestrained, even if it meant irreparable damaging his waistline.

Alas, he needed to escape the manor first, even that was starting to sound like an impossibility the longer he waddled on.

It wasn’t long before Ray had been reduced to a panting, waddling sphere of blubber. Or rather an oval, given he was wider than he was tall. The massive shark huffed and heaved, struggling to lift one doughy leg around the other. Yet, somehow, he found the energy to hold onto his half-empty bag of food, just as he found the energy to stuff more food into his triple-chinned muzzle inbetween pants. Each step rattled the entire manor, even shaking a few portraits off the wall. His bloated tail lazily dragged along the floor behind him, lifted up slightly around the curvature of his own rump. The shirt was seconds away from turning into fabric confetti, how tightly it clung to the shark’s massive chest, while his sweats were completely MIA. Despite being a shark, Ray more closely resembled a whale.

And yet, he still wasn’t any closer to finding the exit.

The obese shark slowed into a halt, wiping a bead of sweat off his forehead. Yet again, he had found himself in one of Zero’s living rooms, growing annoyed at how needlessly expansive this stupid house was. Swallowing another handful of slop (and consequently feeling his gut brush against the floor), Ray finally allowed himself to sit down, collapsing onto his rump with a force powerful enough to rattle the couch next to him. “I just...need a sec,” his words were slurred, too busy huffing and puffing. “And maybe...a bite or two...for energy.”

“Buddy, I think you’ve had more than enough bites!”

Ray yelped in shock as he felt a playful slap on his rump, his neck too thick to allow him to turn around. Soon, the lump of lamniformes saw Zero stride around in front of him, the tubby skunk now as thin as a rake compared to him! “Z-zero! H-how...how did you…?”

“How did I what? Bag myself a shark too fat to fit in the ocean?” The skunk scoffed, standing at eye level with the thief despite Ray sitting on his huge rump. “Did you really think that I, Zero, the true master thief, would let some tubby shark steal my food right from under my nose again and again?”

The shark whimpered, and on reflex reached for the sack for some comfort food, only to find his reach hindered by layers of blubber piled onto his shoulder. Looking up, Ray blinked as he saw Sheero materialize in front of him, holding up the sack. “I’m really glad you liked my cooking, but I’d appreciate it if you would ask before taking some for yourself,” the zoroark explained, smiling softly. “As for your questions, they can all be answered with three words: garlic and butter.”

Ray blinked. “But...it was so fattening...every bite made me swell out!”

“Yeah. Garlic and Butter.”

“B-but it was also so delicious, I couldn’t stop myself from eating more.”

“Exactly. Garlic and butter. Lots and lots of both.”

Ray’s inquiries were interrupted as Zero lumped against the obese shark, jiggling him like an enormous waterbed. “If you’re done questioning, I think it’s time we answered my question: what am I gonna do with a blob who keeps sticking his sharky mouth in other people’s food?!”

The doughy shark squealed in fear, his wide in horror unusual for a predator like himself. Desperately, he tried clasping his hands together, only to find his chest fat blocking the way. “P-please, Zero, h-have mercy! D-don’t turn me in, please! I-I’ll do anything you ask!”

“Oooh?” A sinister grin spread across the skunk’s dimpled cheeks. “Anything, you say?”

“Y-yes!”

“No complaining?” The skunk took the sack of food from Sheero’s paws.

“None!”

“Then eat up!”

Ray didn’t even have time to think of a protest. Before he knew it, the durlap bag was shoved unceremoniously around his muzzle, his snout overwhelmed with the scent and flavor of the very food he so desperately craved. Even if he could reach his muzzle still, the skunk made sure to tie the sack tightly with a piece of rope, before lifting the other end of the bag up, forcing all that slop to come tumbling into the shark’s muzzle. Eyes wide with both shock and delight, Ray happily opened his muzzle as wide as the rope around it would allow, vacuuming up everything that tumbled in.

And promptly inflated himself.

“You know, you were good for one thing, Ray.” Zero smirked as he patted the shark’s smooth skin, watching that belly spill out further and further, foot after foot. “I’ve actually lost about 15 pounds since you’ve started stealing my food, and I have only you to thank for it.”

Silence, save for the sound of munching. Ray grumbled happily, even as he slowly rose up and out with pure blubber, his limbs too thick to even bend. The skunk took the opportunity to climb onto the inflating mountain of shark, using the abundant folds as pawholds. “You’re pretty good at keeping me on my diet. And lucky for you, I’m a reasonable guy, so I think we can come to a compromise.”

Ray’s eyelids started growing heavy, his stomach churning and grumbling. He was getting overwhelmed by the sheer influx of food, filling up rapidly. It was a challenge to keep himself awake, even as he felt his stomach pressing into the wall before him. He could barely focus his attention on the skunk leaning against his moobs, the speck of green on his ocean of blue.

“Every mealtime should be like this, ya know? Sheero cooks something stupidly fattening and delicious, and I feed it all to you, watching the spectacle of you slowly outgrowing this room while I enjoy a nice, healthy salad. You get your food, and I lose this gut. Win-win, right?”

Ray didn’t respond even as his muzzle was finally free of the sack. His entire head was buried around deep rings of neck chub, forcing his eyes into a squint. Gradually, the feeling of satisfaction and fullness slowly won out, and the shark allowed himself to finally drift off into a slumber as deep as his belly folds. Before he conked out, however, he heard the skunk whisper into his ear.

“See you at breakfast, tubbs.”