# Why do many Furries lack Confidence?



## Fenrari (Apr 19, 2012)

Obviously I should make 3 notes before I get into this discussion.

The first being that I am not talking about everyone. This trend that I'm noting seems to apply to a lot of furries.

Second being I'm not saying I lack confidence in the fandom (though to a degree this may be true).

And finally appologies if I end up snarky and pompous and what over adjectives describe how I write. 


__Now on to the Drama!__

I've come to the conclusion after meeting furries, talking to furries, being in relationships with furries and most importantly engaging in furry fandom that a large percentage of this fandom is shall we say recessive or submissive and/or non-dominant. Which can thusly can be reworded into the fact that a large percentage of furries lack confidence. In themselves, in others and in general.

This generalization doesn't apply to everyone, and so I'll make specific notes from my personal journey within the fandom. 

Going back as far as AC 2010 I can specifically note that I too was part of the submissive crowd that meandered around. I didn't make much eye contact; I didn't talk to strangers, and I hung out with my ex (then dating bf). It wasn't until after the convention and when I had begun posting pictures of my experience onto FA that I noted that I wasn't really alone in this. A lot of people had noticed me, remembered me and wanted to converse with me. But they never worked up the courage to say anything.

After that con. Every con since I've been significantly more engaging. Whether it's been by joining con staff as security at FWA or making friends with strangers which ended up in epic alcohol fueled room parties, I've forced myself to be more memorable.

This has led me to 2 notes. The first being I accept that at a convention the prospect of talking to someone in person may be quite nerve wracking and thus something put on the back burner and likely forgotten. The other is that by the simple fact that majority of connections in this fandom are made online; the final prospect of meeting someone irl is equally daunting. 

Which of course makes me wonder still. Why do furries seem to lack in the confidence department? Not trying to be an ass or anything. But I like meeting and making friends at conventions. Why can't you guys come up to me and say "Hi, nice meet you *stares at badge* Fen... rari... I liked your shirt." Instead after every con I get the usual scurry of people on FA finding pictures of me and being like: OMG I SAW YOU IN LINE. But I didn't want to say anything then.


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## Aetius (Apr 19, 2012)

Furries are some of the most socially inept beings out there, and sometimes creepy.


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## IcyDragon (Apr 19, 2012)

Hmmm, originally I wasn't convinced that what you are saying is true; However your experience in the matter is compelling. I am new to the fandom myself, so for now, I lack any real physical evidence or personal experience. Yet I must say it is very anomalous how many I have spoken with admit to being reclusive or "loners"...


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## Kluuvdar (Apr 19, 2012)

Aetius said:


> Furries are some of the most socially inept beings out there, and sometimes creepy.



No we're not... :V


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## â™¥Mirandaâ™¥ (Apr 19, 2012)

furries lack confidence because

they are teenagers

on the internet


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## Mxpklx (Apr 19, 2012)

Tybalt Maxwell said:


> furries lack confidence because
> 
> they are teenagers
> 
> on the internet


The average age of furries is 24.5


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## Aetius (Apr 19, 2012)

Mxpklx said:


> The average age of furries is 24.5



That still act like teenagers :V


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## Fenrari (Apr 19, 2012)

Tybalt Maxwell said:


> furries lack confidence because
> 
> they are teenagers
> 
> on the internet



The internet is a shield of anonymity. Why doesn't that allow people to open up?



Mxpklx said:


> The average age of furries is 24.5



I thought it was in the low 20's range.


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## Mxpklx (Apr 19, 2012)

Fenrari said:


> The internet is a shield of anonymity. Why doesn't that allow people to open up?
> 
> 
> 
> I thought it was in the low 20's range.


Maybe for this website, but according to this study it's not.
http://en.wikifur.com/wiki/News:UC_Davis_posts_furry_survey_results


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## Dreaming (Apr 19, 2012)

I can only speak from experience and say that I've lacked confidence for  a long time now, long before I had even heard of Furries. I have no  idea why, perhaps it was my school situation? Maybe it was the whole My  Parents vs. Neighbors from the Seventh circle of Hell thing. I can't  really say why I lack confidence, so I certainly can't speak for anyone  else. There's probably no big theory to be made, everyone's story and  experiences will differ greatly. Those who do lack confidence will lack  it for completely different reasons to the next Furry. So there's no  final answer to be made here beyond ''Everyone's case will differ''. 

There  will always be a high percentage of X in the Y fandom, I  guess. Keeping in mind that the vast majority of Furries do their  socializing and...pretty much everything online, and that ''lacking in  confidence'' is one of the big characteristics of the Internet, it's not  really surprising that it's also common characteristic in the fandom. 



That, or they've heard the rumors of what goes on at those cons, and they're trying to remain unnoticed. :V


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## Fenrari (Apr 19, 2012)

Well is it possible to make a correlation between individuals inherently lacking in confidence and the magnetic appeal of the furry fandom then?


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## Enki (Apr 19, 2012)

You could say that I am like that, but it wouldn't be accurate. I just don't like people. At all.

My hatred for the human race personal issues aside: It's not just the furry fandom, or any fandom for that matter. Humans in general are a spineless, weak, and dying (not _literally_) race. All bark and no bite, etc.


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## Fenrari (Apr 19, 2012)

Enki said:


> You could say that I am like that, but it wouldn't be accurate. I just don't like people. At all.
> 
> My hatred for the human race personal issues aside: It's not just the furry fandom, or any fandom for that matter. Humans in general are a spineless, weak, and dying (not _literally_) race. All bark and no bite, etc.



*first note. I love your Daria avatar*

It's one thing to dislike humanity. It's another not to have the balls to talk to anyone.


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## Enki (Apr 19, 2012)

Fenrari said:


> *first note. I love your Daria avatar*
> 
> It's one thing to dislike humanity. It's another not to have the balls to talk to anyone.


I frequently get told that Daria is my spiritual almost twin, even though she does not exist.

Again, I reiterate: Humans in general are a spineless, weak, and dying (not _literally_) race.


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## Onnes (Apr 19, 2012)

Mxpklx said:


> Maybe for this website, but according to this study it's not.
> http://en.wikifur.com/wiki/News:UC_Davis_posts_furry_survey_results



When talking about age, the average is not a useful quantity since the age distribution is wide and heavily skewed. You want the median. According to the klisoura survey from 2011, the average is 26 whereas the median is 21.

EDIT: You also could have just as well asked why young nerdy males lack confidence.


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## Aden (Apr 19, 2012)

Well, if you take escapism as a primary drive to want to be in the fandom, extrapolating that to lack of self confidence in furries is pretty easy


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## Fenrari (Apr 19, 2012)

Aden said:


> Well, if you take escapism as a primary drive to want to be in the fandom, extrapolating that to lack of self confidence in furries is pretty easy



So it's not about the animalfuckery? :V


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## CannonFodder (Apr 19, 2012)

*reads OP*
Man you have got to hang out with me at a furcon or something.  I NEVER run out of energy or confidence.  No matter what time of day or how little sleep I have I still have the energy of someone who just drank a baker's dozen triple frappucino mochas.


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## ErikutoSan (Apr 19, 2012)

Because it's fun being a teenager despite the age.


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## Enki (Apr 19, 2012)

CannonFodder said:


> *reads OP*
> Man you have got to hang out with me at a furcon or something.  I NEVER run out of energy or confidence.  No matter what time of day or how little sleep I have I still have the energy of someone who just drank a baker's dozen triple frappucino mochas.


That's called 'roid rage', dear, and it isn't healthy.


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## Aldino (Apr 19, 2012)

Fenrari said:


> So it's not about the animalfuckery? :V



No it is, but that's just not the primary motive. :V

Also I feel that attending conventions would take some guts to do, I wouldn't go because I'm not interested. Yet I feel as though anyone who does go and does make a suit has to have the confidence to say "the hell with anyone elses opinion" and do what they enjoy doing.

Edit: On a side note if for some unholy reason we ended up meeting at a con I would bug the crap out of you. :V


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## CannonFodder (Apr 19, 2012)

Enki said:


> That's called 'roid rage', dear, and it isn't healthy.


What does 24/7 having as much energy as pinkie pie relate to steroids?


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## Enki (Apr 19, 2012)

CannonFodder said:


> What does 24/7 having as much energy as pinkie pie relate to steroids?


She's a heavy user. You didn't know? :V


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## CannonFodder (Apr 19, 2012)

Enki said:


> She's a heavy user. You didn't know? :V


I'm well known for being extremely illogical and even I can't make sense out of your post.


Aldino said:


> Edit: On a side note if for some unholy reason we  ended up meeting at a con I would bug the crap out of you. :V


We should both meet Fenrari at a con and bug the crap out of him.  By the end of the con he'll be a total reclusive in horror of our exuberance.


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## Artillery Spam (Apr 19, 2012)

Enki said:


> I frequently get told that Daria is my spiritual almost twin, even though she does not exist.
> 
> Again, I reiterate: Humans in general are a spineless, weak, and dying (not _literally_) race.



Hilarious.


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## Enki (Apr 19, 2012)

CannonFodder said:


> I'm well known for being extremely illogical and even I can't make sense out of your post.


Good.

Psst... the first post was a joke.


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## Brazen (Apr 19, 2012)

Fenrari said:


> After that con. Every con since I've been significantly more engaging. Whether it's been by joining con staff as security at FWA or making friends with strangers which ended up in epic alcohol fueled room parties, I've forced myself to be more memorable.



Your parents are right, you are a manwhore.

This is how I see you in my mind's eye:
http://youtu.be/CsocXXe1KSw


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## Enki (Apr 19, 2012)

Brazen said:


> http://youtu.be/CsocXXe1KSw


That's both terrible and awesome at the same time.


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## Mxpklx (Apr 19, 2012)

As on the post topic, I totally lack confidence but only in certain areas. But I have total confidence in my leading capabilities I have no doubts anything I do will fail, and it never does (Hell, I am related to George Washington). As for social interactions, I feel that nobody can understand me (emo faggot lawl) and prefer not to interact socially, yet I am one of the most popular and well known guys at my school because I'm just so fucking weird/funny. 

My social life is a paradox.


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## MattisVeneficus (Apr 19, 2012)

To OP. I believe its all in the name. I mean, "furry" isn't a name you give to some army bad-ass for singlehandedly winning the war.
(ya i know, over-exaggeration but its the best I could think of.)


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## Aldino (Apr 19, 2012)

CannonFodder said:


> We should both meet Fenrari at a con and bug the crap out of him.  By the end of the con he'll be a total reclusive in horror of our exuberance.



I'll bring a copy of Fay V's rules on what not to do to fur suiters and we can take turns doing everything on the list until security throws us out. :V


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## Fenrari (Apr 19, 2012)

CannonFodder said:


> We should both meet Fenrari at a con and bug the crap out of him.  By the end of the con he'll be a total reclusive in horror of our exuberance.



Probably no worse than how at FC my entourage was being stalked by this moochy creep who wanted me to have sex with him... :/ Moochy is a bad term but this kid couldn't afford the con to begin with and the people he ended up staying with (so glad he bailed on us) were bugged to no end by him.


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## Bipolar Bear (Apr 19, 2012)

Well, I'll list a couple of reasons why I am bursting with confidence:

1. I have a great job.

2. I love my boyfriend.

3. I have a roof over my head and a family that loves me.

So I don't think I'll be running out of confidence anytime soon. =)


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## ErikutoSan (Apr 19, 2012)

I'm pretty confident for being a furry since i have high self esteem (in certain places) so it doesn't bother me what some people think of me. Well only exception is parents.
I think what people need most is Self esteem.


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## Fenrari (Apr 19, 2012)

Foxecality said:


> Well, I'll list a couple of reasons why I am bursting with confidence:
> 
> 1. I have a great job.
> 
> ...



It's funny I am the polar opposite of you but my confidence meter is quite stable still.


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## CannonFodder (Apr 19, 2012)

Fenrari said:


> Probably no worse than how at FC my entourage was being stalked by this moochy creep who wanted me to have sex with him... :/ Moochy is a bad term but this kid couldn't afford the con to begin with and the people he ended up staying with (so glad he bailed on us) were bugged to no end by him.


That's the wrong type of annoying.
Me on a regular day I have more energy than most people.
Me + one soda = Absurdly talkative, energetic and confident
Me + energy drink = talking so fast that by the time your brain has time to process it I've already receited a shakespearian monologue
Me + 8 hour energy = so much energy that turning a handcrank generator would power the east coast.


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## MattisVeneficus (Apr 19, 2012)

CannonFodder said:


> That's the wrong type of annoying.
> Me on a regular day I have more energy than most people.
> Me + one soda = Absurdly talkative, energetic and confident
> Me + energy drink = talking so fast that by the time your brain has time to process it I've already receited a shakespearian monologue
> Me + 8 hour energy = so much energy that turning a handcrank generator would power the east coast.



Hm....the ENTIRE east coast? show me =)


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## Fenrari (Apr 19, 2012)

CannonFodder said:


> That's the wrong type of annoying.
> Me on a regular day I have more energy than most people.
> Me + one soda = Absurdly talkative, energetic and confident
> Me + energy drink = talking so fast that by the time your brain has time to process it I've already receited a shakespearian monologue
> Me + 8 hour energy = so much energy that turning a handcrank generator would power the east coast.



I would be more than happy to hang out with you. If you're the type who loves engaging in random conversation


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## Bipolar Bear (Apr 19, 2012)

Fenrari said:


> It's funny I am the polar opposite of you but my confidence meter is quite stable still.



*scratches head*

How the funk does that work?


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## ErikutoSan (Apr 19, 2012)

Fenrari said:


> I would be more than happy to hang out with you. If you're the type who loves engaging in random conversation


Saw you say Random Conversation.....Elaborate...I start a BUNCH of odd convo's with my upperclass friends at high school ._.


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## Fenrari (Apr 19, 2012)

Foxecality said:


> *scratches head*
> 
> How the funk does that work?



Lets see I've been jobless for 8 months now and even though I pull off great interviews and am extremely polite in person I can't seem to score even a part-timer...

My longest relationship broke up 6 months ago. And though I still have feelings for him, part of me roils in anger because of how much he ended up using me.

I was homeless for 4 months and bounced between friends and sleeping in public libraries. My family thinks I'm a drug-dealing, home invading man whore and has repeatedly told me that I would be better off dead than such an embarrassment to them.

How do I have so much confidence? I have the tenacity to live. The drive within my soul to raise my middle finger at Fate and scream: "FUCK YOU TOO."


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## MitchZer0 (Apr 19, 2012)

Probably the reason why Furries lack confidence is the fact they are cry babies who get upset over anything.

We all know what happens when a troll shows up, or... don't make me mention that banner ordeal...


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## CannonFodder (Apr 19, 2012)

Fenrari said:


> The drive within my soul to raise my middle finger at Fate and scream: "FUCK YOU TOO."


We both have the same life motto.


Fenrari said:


> I would be more than happy to hang out with you. If you're the type who loves engaging in random conversation


You hath open pandora's box.


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## Dragonfurry (Apr 19, 2012)

You know I dont have much confidence or self esteem because I was bullied from kindergarten to sophomore year. Also I have social disabilities and stuff like that so I dont exactly have a good opinion on myself. But I am starting to build it up with help of friends and such.


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## Fenrari (Apr 19, 2012)

ErikutoSan said:


> Saw you say Random Conversation.....Elaborate...I start a BUNCH of odd convo's with my upperclass friends at high school ._.



For me a good random conversation starts on one topic such as say... Cheese. It will bounce between subject A and B. Then A mentions how they always wanted to try expensive smelly French cheese. B mentions how they did a trip from France to Spain by rail one year. A mentions that the best sliced jamon comes from Spanish pigs wild raised on acorns. B notes the fat content of acorns is unhealthy. A mentions diabeetus. B mentions i can haz cheesburger. 

You get the drill.



CannonFodder said:


> We both have the same life motto.
> 
> You hath open pandora's box.



2 things *brofist* and

It's pandora's pithos not box. The translation is incorrect and based on the original greek, Pandora released all the evils in the world from an amphora or jar and not a box.


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## Mxpklx (Apr 19, 2012)

Fenrari, when I got to FC when I'm 2,1 or basically FC 2018, I will be wearing my stilt Sergal costume with armor, and I will fucking stalk you to no end. >:O

And on the subject of furries that aren't confident, I think some of us may have too much confidence like in this video I just found:
[video=youtube;iZgMB4RH-BU]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iZgMB4RH-BU&amp;context=C4ff130fADvjVQa1PpcFO8TG8T1QqQVZqW8JLAF  WIsbrnpdvfGvPQ=[/video]


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## Fenrari (Apr 19, 2012)

Mxpklx said:


> Fenrari, when I got to FC when I'm 21 or basically FC 2018, I will be wearing my stilt Sergal costume with armor, and I will fucking stalk you to no end. >:O



Oh murr? Would you like one of the spare card keys for when you need to "rest"? :V


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## Mxpklx (Apr 19, 2012)

Fenrari said:


> Oh murr? Would you like one of the spare card keys for when you need to "rest"? :V


Yes. Yes I would lol


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## Onnes (Apr 19, 2012)

Is this the common endpoint of every Fenrari thread?


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## Bipolar Bear (Apr 19, 2012)

Fenrari said:


> Lets see I've been jobless for 8 months now and even though I pull off great interviews and am extremely polite in person I can't seem to score even a part-timer...
> 
> My longest relationship broke up 6 months ago. And though I still have feelings for him, part of me roils in anger because of how much he ended up using me.
> 
> ...



Looks like someone has a new quote to put in their sig.

But seriously dude, I don't understand how you can keep going on like this. Whatever drive you have within your soul, I suggest you keep in there as long as possible. I know it's not much, but fuck God. Fuck Fate. Living is what you're good at, and that's a trait that many people don't have. Including myself.


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## Fenrari (Apr 19, 2012)

Onnes said:


> Is this the common endpoint of every Fenrari thread?



It is not my fault if my charm and demeanor attract the demon hordes of furries who want me for sex.



Mxpklx said:


> Yes. Yes I would lol



Dream on lover boy/girl. (actually I'm seriously not sure if you're a boy or a girl)



Foxecality said:


> Looks like someone has a new quote to put in their sig.
> 
> But seriously dude, I don't understand how you can keep going on like this. Whatever drive you have within your soul, I suggest you keep in there as long as possible. I know it's not much, but fuck God. Fuck Fate. Living is what you're good at, and that's a trait that many people don't have. Including myself.



I'm not good at living. I'm just lucky that I'm bad at dying.


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## Bipolar Bear (Apr 19, 2012)

Fenrari said:


> I'm not good at living. I'm just lucky that I'm bad at dying.



Ok. Screw the other quote. This one is going in my sig!


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## CannonFodder (Apr 19, 2012)

Fenrari said:


> I'm not good at living. I'm just lucky that I'm bad at dying.


You have much to learn in the skill of sucking at dying young padawan.


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## MattisVeneficus (Apr 19, 2012)

Fenrari said:


> I'm not good at living. I'm just lucky that I'm bad at dying.



Dude...you would be amazing at video games man.


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## Aden (Apr 19, 2012)

Fenrari said:


> It is not my fault if my charm and demeanor attract the demon hordes of furries who want me for sex.



How to attract furries that want you for sex in two easy steps:

1. Have a penis or vagina
2. There is no step two


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## ErikutoSan (Apr 19, 2012)

Aden said:


> How to attract furries that want you for sex in two easy steps:
> 
> 1. Have a penis or vagina
> 2. There is no step two


this made me laugh and therefore it's going into my sig!

EDIT: nevermind doesnt fit D:


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## Fenrari (Apr 19, 2012)

Aden said:


> How to attract furries that want you for sex in two easy steps:
> 
> 1. Have a penis or vagina
> 2. There is no step two



Well if it was that easy people like Dragonfurry would be getting some every day (no offense).

You have to have the confident aire about you that others look up to.

You have to have a memorable trait by which people remember you.

You have to have the charm by which individuals are attracted to you. (a smile, a wink, a snarky voice)


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## Demensa (Apr 19, 2012)

I'm not really sure why some furries lack confidence.  I suspect in a lot of cases it's due to the fact that this is predominately an online community and meeting people IRL might be tough for them, or that furries almost always get a bad rap from the media.  Of course I'm sure everyone has their own personal reasons.



Fenrari said:


> Lets see I've been jobless for 8 months now and even though I pull off great interviews and am extremely polite in person I can't seem to score even a part-timer...
> 
> My longest relationship broke up 6 months ago. And though I still have feelings for him, part of me roils in anger because of how much he ended up using me.
> 
> ...



And wow! That's insane that you can keep going on like this! I tip my hat to you.


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## Onnes (Apr 19, 2012)

Fenrari said:


> Well if it was that easy people like Dragonfurry would be getting some every day (no offense).



Wait, what? You're sort of implying that Dragonfurry is trying and failing to solicit sex from strange furries on the internet. Not that I know the guy, but that doesn't sound like a no offense scenario.


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## â™¥Mirandaâ™¥ (Apr 19, 2012)

Onnes said:


> Wait, what? You're sort of implying that Dragonfurry is trying and failing to solicit sex from strange furries on the internet. Not that I know the guy, but that doesn't sound like a no offense scenario.



Maybe he is and he's proud of it

And maybe you acting like that's an offensive thing is offending him

Onnes you rude person


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## Ad Hoc (Apr 20, 2012)

Fenrari said:


> Well if it was that easy people like Dragonfurry would be getting some every day (no offense).


That was pointlessly rude, parentheticals aside.


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## Yago (Apr 20, 2012)

I've got quite a bit of confidence, actually.

Well, I act it. I suppose I"m not all that self-confident. But I know my limits quite well. I'm not a pessimist, just a realist.

I guess I"m sure of me and confident. Guess I'm just not *over* confident.


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## Vaelarsa (Apr 20, 2012)

I still have crippling anxieties when it comes to certain things. Strangely this applies to online interactions way more than those of real life.
It's not a matter of lacking confidence. It's a matter of _"I can't stop feeling on edge, and if I do [x] I am going to have a panic attack and OH FUCK OH FUCK I HATE THOSE THINGS."_
I know that's not what your topic is about, kind of, but it still follows the same idea of people who avoid social interaction.

However, I've gotten a _lot_ better about it the past few years.
I remember I couldn't even be around a group of strangers very long without music and / or sunglasses, or I would need to immediately run to a secluded area and freak the fuck out.
Nowadays, I can go to bars and drink and just dance until my legs are too sore to move. Of course, the alcohol probably helps that, but I would have never stepped into one of those places in the past.


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## Kahoku (Apr 20, 2012)

Tybalt Maxwell said:


> furries lack confidence because
> 
> they are teenagers
> 
> on the internet



Which scare the hell out of me. And if Mxpklx is correct in that age group, I then am 40. (I am 25, but I act like a 40 yr....I am told I act older than I am.)


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## ErikutoSan (Apr 20, 2012)

Tybalt Maxwell said:


> furries lack confidence because
> 
> they are teenagers
> 
> on the internet


I feel like the only teen on here with (semi a lot) Confidence......

Since you put it that way ._.


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## MattisVeneficus (Apr 20, 2012)

Vaelarsa said:


> I still have crippling anxieties when it comes to certain things. Strangely this applies to online interactions way more than those of real life.
> It's not a matter of lacking confidence. It's a matter of _"I can't stop feeling on edge, and if I do [x] I am going to have a panic attack and OH FUCK OH FUCK I HATE THOSE THINGS."_
> I know that's not what your topic is about, kind of, but it still follows the same idea of people who avoid social interaction.
> 
> ...



If I were old enough/knew you better than just the one post, id be happy to have a beer with you.


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## Flippy (Apr 20, 2012)

I don't know about you guys but I'm bad with names. I don't want to go up to someone that I have clearly seen their whatever online & have it be mistaken identity. I've had that happen & it's very embarrassing. 

On a side note I'm glad we don't have the whole butt sniffing thing that dogs going for them. That would make matters even weirder to do the whole meet & greet thing.


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## Kitutal (Apr 20, 2012)

The reason is that something like this, a chance to hide behind the internet and alternative personae, attracts people that lack confidence already. Also because there's a lot of people here that spend a lot of time on the internet rather than around other people, as well as a lot of teenagers, and things are far from easy for people that age now, or at least so it seems from their point of view. Throw in a lot of people whos parents disapprove of their hobbies or sexual interests, and this place comes to vbe  sort of sanctuary for us all. Of course, having joined in, met other people like themselves and spent some time socialising and going to meets and so on, I would hope that people start to gain a little confidence, even if it is corrupted by the odd way we do things and only around the internet and other furries. 




Fenrari said:


> Well if it was that easy people like Dragonfurry would be getting some every day (no offense).
> You have to have the confident aire about you that others look up to.
> You have to have a memorable trait by which people remember you.
> You have to have the charm by which individuals are attracted to you. (a smile, a wink, a snarky voice)



As someone that does know him, I would say that given half the chance I would have hopped on a plane and gone over to visit him for as long as I could. There are other ways of attracting people, and other things that people want out of a relationship. But anyways. 
You should see my other online community, you don't even need the parts, we're so far and few between that anyone with any interest in meeting up attracts all others like them in the area, if there are any, and since there's pretty much only one thing we have in common...


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## Sarcastic Coffeecup (Apr 20, 2012)

I don't lack confidence D:


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## Fenrari (Apr 20, 2012)

Sarcastic Coffeecup said:


> I don't lack confidence D:



Well obviously my notions don't apply to everyone.


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## MattisVeneficus (Apr 20, 2012)

Fenrari said:


> Well obviously my notions don't apply to everyone.


your name reminds me of Ferrari, and my uncle owns a Ferrari.
long story short, when I am learning to drive, ima do a burnout in it.
I don't think I lack confidence, if that counts =P


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## Fenrari (Apr 20, 2012)

Dilldoughmcgee said:


> your name reminds me of Ferrari, and my uncle owns a Ferrari.
> long story short, when I am learning to drive, ima do a burnout in it.
> I don't think I lack confidence, if that counts =P



Your name association is very random. 

But you aren't the first to mistaken me for a Ferrari. Google auto-corrects it.


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## Kitutal (Apr 20, 2012)

that's why I prefer bing search, it searches for what you actually tell it to, rather than something spelt similar


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## Fenrari (Apr 20, 2012)

Kitutal said:


> that's why I prefer bing search, it searches for what you actually tell it to, rather than something spelt similar



This is why I don't use Bing: http://imgur.com/gallery/7cnZj


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## Metalmeerkat (Apr 20, 2012)

Sarcastic Coffeecup said:


> I don't lack confidence D:



Are you sure?


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## Sarcastic Coffeecup (Apr 20, 2012)

Metalmeerkat said:


> Are you sure?


Pretty sure 
Obviously every one of us has their moments of lesser confidence.


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## Sundown (Apr 20, 2012)

I can be confident in some areas and shy in others - and social activities is one of those areas that makes me cripplingly, mind numbly, chronically shy. It's probably unrelated to me being a furry though. >>


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## Kitutal (Apr 20, 2012)

Fenrari said:


> This is why I don't use Bing: http://imgur.com/gallery/7cnZj


It's never done that for me before.
Still, it does have nice pretty pictures every day too.

mostly I use wikipedia search.


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## FM3THOU (Apr 20, 2012)

Lifestyle furries sure as hell are not lacking in self confidence. Or whatever you call it.

Catch 22: Furries who are submissive are creepy losers looking for easy bone. Furries who are dominant are creepy losers looking to rape people. 

Explanation: it has always been a running theme in the furry community that there is a lack of social maturity combined with a lack of self confidence which creates a strange vortex in which very few are able to swim out of. Those that do also tend to drag others down and drown them as they swim out of the vortex. 

But I am also going to say that social maturity and self confidence go hand in hand. It would seem impossible to have one without the other.


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## Tango (Apr 20, 2012)

Fenrari said:


> Well if it was that easy people like Dragonfurry would be getting some every day (no offense).



That was just mean and uncalled for. Also there is a difference between an air of confidence and being a self-absorbed shithead. But then again, I'm not an arrogant little man-whore either...no offense of course.


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## Sarcastic Coffeecup (Apr 20, 2012)

Fenrari vs Tango
I smell a verbal conflict. *grabs popcorn*


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## Tango (Apr 20, 2012)

Sarcastic Coffeecup said:


> Fenrari vs Tango
> I smell a verbal conflict. *grabs popcorn*



Nah, I just don't like people randomly attacking my friends like that.


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## Kitutal (Apr 20, 2012)

Much as I should be standing up for my friend here too, I'm sure he didn't mean it as an attack on any one person, theoretically I could hook up with someone just for the sex, but I don't want to, and I don't know of anyone else in the area that does. 
The problem is that plenty of people out there just aren't looking to simply get off with just about anyone they can. Though, a lot of people are, and far from just furries from what I've seen of my flatmates at uni. Of course, amongst us all too many see only other furries as potential partners, though I can sort of see the sense in not wanting to try to explain everything we do to someone that might already have heard the rumours, and of course it's easier for us to find each other, given that we frequent the same websites, another part of the problem, everyone meets online rather than talking face to face, and here we can pretend to be however we like, create a whole new self to hide behind, or at least try to, it's not always so easy as that, and when we see people outside the internet, we have no idea what to do, having sheltered here so long, and that just makes things even worse.


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## â™¥Mirandaâ™¥ (Apr 20, 2012)

If fenrari is being out of line in making assumptions of DF's character

Then it's probably not so pragmatic to attack Fenrari's character in retaliation

You can peacefully say "That was out of line and I would like you to apologize for saying it", as opposed to adding fuel to the fire

When you attack him for attacking someone else, you are no better than he is

Now kiss and make up


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## Tango (Apr 20, 2012)

Kitutal said:


> Much as I should be standing up for my friend here too, I'm sure he didn't mean it as an attack on any one person, theoretically I could hook up with someone just for the sex, but I don't want to, and I don't know of anyone else in the area that does.



He could have made his point without throwing DragonFurry under the bus like that and then gave an off handed "no offense" to deflect any rage that would induce. Don't get me wrong, I -like- Fenrari but (in my eyes) he crossed the line a bit so I gave him a dose in return. Now, if he apologizes to DragonFurry I will apologize to him in return and all this will be behind us...or at least for me it will be.


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## MattisVeneficus (Apr 20, 2012)

I think that we should all be friends. No one want a bunch of people fighting =(


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## Ad Hoc (Apr 20, 2012)

Tybalt, you're a good dude.


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## Tango (Apr 20, 2012)

Ad Hoc said:


> Tybalt, you're a good dude.




Yes he is. <3


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## gokorahn (Apr 20, 2012)

I have always lacked confidence, socially and in myself. Around people, I generally prefer to listen, and only contribute a little bit. Although now I am being a bit more social, I still have a-ways to go. As for self confidence, I used to be uneasy driving around (don't have a license yet, just a permit) but the other day I drove a motorcycle for the first time, and burned a little rubber off the tires of my dad's corvette.


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## Metalmeerkat (Apr 20, 2012)

Tango said:


> That was just mean and uncalled for. Also there is a difference between an air of confidence and being a self-absorbed shithead. But then again, I'm not an arrogant little man-whore either...no offense of course.


Well, it is true that you're not little, but . . . 
But to be serious, unless there is some inside joke I'm unaware of (I am a newbie after all) or they're close friends, that did seem . . . a bit off.


Anywho back to the topic: confidence. Tonight, at 11, Younger peoples on the internet exhibit low confidence. But first, our senior scienceologist has a breaking report on a new scientific study that suggests water _could_ _possibly be wet_. Stay tuned for more news from Channel Four, your guide to the obvious. :v


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## LemonJayde (Apr 20, 2012)

Because we're fucking furries :v


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## Kitutal (Apr 20, 2012)

LemonJayde said:


> Because we're fucking furries :v


I'm not, but only because I haven't gotten around to it yet, maybe one day...


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## Fenrari (Apr 20, 2012)

Tango said:


> That was just mean and uncalled for. Also there is a difference between an air of confidence and being a self-absorbed shithead. But then again, I'm not an arrogant little man-whore either...no offense of course.



You're completely correct in your findings and I'm ok with that. 

Being raised in an Asian family and always falling short of expectations, I was never treated with the amount of praise and compliments that I feel I should have been. Thusly my nature makes me a compliment whore as anything else. My libido is generally a bit higher than that of other people I meet and as such I come off as a man whore always looking for the next prey to pounce and deflower. 

I won't accept being called little though. I'm a perfectly respectable 6'0" and balancing acceptably between 185-195.

(You will have to realize that having moved as much as I have, and always being different; I had my share of not so pleasant labels and names tagged onto me. I've learned to shrug them off to no effect.)

As for an appology. No. People should learn to stand up for themselves. If this is how people treat him online, he suffers a lot more irl. You can't be there for him every step of his journey, so the best you can hope for is that you can teach him how to handle things. And if I'm wrong for that type of thinking, then so be it.


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## â™¥Mirandaâ™¥ (Apr 20, 2012)

Fenrari said:


> As for an appology. No. People should learn to stand up for themselves. If this is how people treat him online, he suffers a lot more irl. You can't be there for him every step of his journey, so the best you can hope for is that you can teach him how to handle things. And if I'm wrong for that type of thinking, then so be it.



"Other people are going to be dicks to him, so why should I apologize for being a dick to him" 
is not a reasonable statement for you to make

For the sake of your standing on this forum, fucking apologize


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## Fenrari (Apr 20, 2012)

Tybalt Maxwell said:


> "Other people are going to be dicks to him, so why should I apologize for being a dick to him"
> is not a reasonable statement for you to make
> 
> For the sake of your standing on this forum, fucking apologize



If I come off as a horrible person let it be so. 

People should stand the fuck up for themselves. If he has an issue with it; let him tell me. Don't speak for other people.


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## Tango (Apr 20, 2012)

Fenrari said:


> If I come off as a horrible person let it be so.



Wish granted! And to think, I actually went out of my way to try to help you get a job with the company I work for. Oh well.


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## Aetius (Apr 20, 2012)

Fenrari said:


> As for an appology. No. People should learn to stand up for themselves. If this is how people treat him online, he suffers a lot more irl. You can't be there for him every step of his journey, so the best you can hope for is that you can teach him how to handle things. And if I'm wrong for that type of thinking, then so be it.



I wish there was a downvote option in FAF, as this post would be downvoted into oblivion.


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## Onnes (Apr 20, 2012)

Fenrari said:


> If I come off as a horrible person let it be so.
> 
> People should stand the fuck up for themselves. If he has an issue with it; let him tell me. Don't speak for other people.



Just because someone won't respond to an insulting call-out doesn't mean it's OK to shit on them. Your statements in this thread, and your subsequent refusal to abandon them, speak volumes to your character, and people will judge you accordingly.


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## Schwimmwagen (Apr 20, 2012)

Fenrari said:


> Being raised in an Asian family and always falling short of expectations, I was never treated with the amount of praise and compliments that I feel I should have been.



Are you asking for pity here? Also someone should poke DF so he can come here and slap the shit out of Fenrari himself. Or I'll be happy to do it if he doesn't.

Shit's uncalled for, Fen, honestly. You should be fucking ashamed of yourself. "I don't care what people think of me." That's no way to go about life. No wonder people around you give you such a hard time - a hard time that you don't shut the fuck up about.

PS: Fen, you should follow your own advice and stand the fuck up for yourself against your parents who you keep on posting about. After all its such an easy thing to do like you play it off as, as if you're so much better than the people you talk down on.


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## Brazen (Apr 20, 2012)

Right, now one of you make a racist comment.


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## Dragonfurry (Apr 20, 2012)

Alright I wanna quell the drama shit once and for all about this. 

@Fenrari- Yes what you said was uncalled for and I dont appreciate it. I would appreciate it if you apologize to me and it would look a bit better on your character.

@Everyone else Thank you for defending me. That means alot to me that you guys would do that. <3


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## RedFoxTwo (Apr 20, 2012)

(There ought to be some FAF equivalent of Godwin's law. Perhaps 'Fenrari's Law'.)


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## Metalmeerkat (Apr 20, 2012)

Fenrari said:


> If I come off as a horrible person let it be so.
> 
> People should stand the fuck up for themselves. If he has an issue with it; let him tell me. Don't speak for other people.



Fine, DF is a cool bloke capable of defending himself. Even if we shouldn't have to speak for him, that neither absolves you of anything, nor means that we can't call you out for your dick move. Nor excuses your immaturity and insistence on not apologizing. Don't use the very person you insulted as a shield for yourself, that's just not cool.





			
				DragonFurry said:
			
		

> @Everyone else Thank you for defending me. That means alot to me that you guys would do that. <3


No probs. That'll be $3.50 plus local tax.


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## Fenrari (Apr 20, 2012)

Still not apologizing. 

And I guess I'm just being a dick about it, but I'm quite stubborn on certain things and this is one of them.


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## Dragonfurry (Apr 20, 2012)

Fenrari said:


> Still not apologizing.
> 
> And I guess I'm just being a dick about it, but I'm quite stubborn on certain things and this is one of them.



Is it going to hurt your pride that much to admit you made a mistake and apologize? I just want you tot say your sorry and I can forget this whole thing seriously. -.-'


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## Ariosto (Apr 20, 2012)

Why did you call him that in the first place? What thought process led to that insult? Regardless, you're embarrasing yourself right now and coming off as an asshole, so, tell me, why did you throw such accusation?*

*This is just for the sake of the context of the conflict.


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## â™¥Mirandaâ™¥ (Apr 20, 2012)

Fenrari said:


> Still not apologizing.
> 
> And I guess I'm just being a dick about it, but I'm quite stubborn on certain things and this is one of them.



Then stop posting in this thread

Posting about how you're NOT going to apologize is probably the worst thing you can do in this thread

And stop making me out to be a white-knight crusading after you, I asked nicely that tango apologize to you to, which he -did-


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## Ad Hoc (Apr 20, 2012)

Fenrari said:


> Still not apologizing.
> 
> And I guess I'm just being a dick about it, but I'm quite stubborn on certain things and this is one of them.


. . . Didn't you say that you wouldn't apologize unless DF came to ask for it personally? He just did. Wow.

Fenrari, you're not a good dude.


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## Aetius (Apr 20, 2012)

Fenrari said:


> Still not apologizing.



Worst PR ever.


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## â™¥Mirandaâ™¥ (Apr 20, 2012)

I think at this point we've done what best we can as regular users to avoid conflict

And it's gotten to the point where everyone is ganging up on Fenrari

There's a reason why I asked Tango to apologize for that, it's just not nice and not in the least bit constructive

I advise that we all stop arguing in either direction, and allow the mods to deal with this


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## Ad Hoc (Apr 20, 2012)

Tybalt, stop being so reasonable. It's embarrassing.


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## Fay V (Apr 20, 2012)

Closed for drama and such


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