# Why is predictive text on my phone sooooo stupid?!



## PlusThirtyOne (May 11, 2017)

Seriously...

These predictive texts and auto-corrections are bullshit and they aren't even WORDS!! How are they even "predictions"?!

Every time i type ANY two letter word (it, as, of, in, etc.), auto-correct swaps out my words for "92nd", "143rd", "51st", or some other random bullshit number. i have NEVER typed these things! -And when i DO type numbers, my piece of shit phone CHANGES THEM!! Phone numbers, single digit numbers, doesn't matter. if i type "100", my phone changes it to "23orqt7" for NO REASON. The fuck does that even mean???

My phone's library is completely opposed to compound words. "into" corrects to "in to" as if it made sense. it even corrects "their" and "there" to their _incorrect forms_; making me look like a twit! Even when if/when i notice mistakes, i can't easily fix them because depending on the "correction", if it breaks up a compound word into two or it's the last word in a sentence, the word borks itself back to the wrong word again!

Then there are the strange instances where my phone changes subjects like when i type "dad" and my phone corrects it to "mom". The other day at the grocery store i wanted to check the ingredients in a recipe so i knew what to buy. i passed off my phone to my sister and "corn" auto-corrected it to "pornhub". i have NEVER been to pornhub on my phone! Honest! Worse yet, these stupid corrections take affect AFTER i send texts. Just last week i asked my mom if she ate the "cannibals" i made for her. Even when i type a word, a sentence, a whole damn paragraph _*perfectly*_, auto-correct somehow finds a way to pervert my words and change context, change values, change names, change numbers or flat-out insert random nonsensical gibberish.

it's like my phone is just pulling words out of its ass!​
it's not like i can just turn off predictive text or auto-correct either. i have huge pudgy sausage fingers that make mistakes aaaaall the time. Even with slow, practiced, precise, pokes, they don't seem to register the letter i'm aiming at. i _depend_ on help because i can't even backspace without accidentally sending my typo'd messages. For every 10-20 helpful corrections, there's at least one catastrophic fuck-up. Every text. Every search. Every email.

i've tried different keyboards, different language libraries, different methods of typing and nothing seems to work. Turning off predictive text and/or auto-correct just means i make MORE silly typos.


----------



## WolfNightV4X1 (May 11, 2017)

Protip: disable it.

I spell things right the majority of the time without it than with it. I may be one letter of or such but at least I never get the shirt corrected out of me



Edit: Now that I read your thread it sounds suspiciously like someone couldve tapped your phone and changed autocorrect settings to troll you, or maybe someone before did that.

....aaaand I didnt read the part you cant change it. Fuck. Oh well.


----------



## Sagt (May 11, 2017)

What phone do you have?


----------



## PlusThirtyOne (May 11, 2017)

WolfNightV4X1 said:


> it sounds suspiciously like someone couldve tapped your phone and changed autocorrect settings to troll you


The only turds i can think of who could possibly have done that aren't savvy enough to do it. Besides, none of my friends or coworkers have even seen my phone, let alone _me_. i've been out of work since October and my roomie would never do that. At any given moment my phone is within eyesight, in my pocket or on my nightstand charging. Nobody would ever have a chance to touch it. i'm not overly paranoid but even if i don't surf pornhub, i still _draw_ dirty on my phone. LOL



Lcs said:


> What phone do you have?


LG Escape2. Hell if i know what firmware or version of Android but like i said, i've tried changing keyboards and language libraries to no avail. They're all stupid but all in their own unique ways.


----------



## Deleted member 82554 (May 11, 2017)

Install SwiftKey, create an account, problem solved.


----------



## Yakamaru (May 11, 2017)

Ah yes, auto-correct/predictive text. First time I got a smartphone I spent 16 hours straight trying to figure out how it "predicts" shit. And this was on a NEW one, too.

"Hello" turned into "twatty", "granddad" turned into "asshole", "ma" turned into "fu". Words turned into completely different shit than what I intended. Yeah, no, fuck that shit. 

I just turned on normal keyboard and were done with it.


----------



## PixelVixen (May 12, 2017)

Yakamaru said:


> Ah yes, auto-correct/predictive text. First time I got a smartphone I spent 16 hours straight trying to figure out how it "predicts" shit. And this was on a NEW one, too.
> 
> "Hello" turned into "twatty", "granddad" turned into "asshole", "ma" turned into "fu". Words turned into completely different shit than what I intended. Yeah, no, fuck that shit.
> 
> I just turned on normal keyboard and were done with it.


This genuinely made me laugh more than it should have XD


----------



## Yakamaru (May 14, 2017)

PixelVixen said:


> This genuinely made me laugh more than it should have XD


I aim to please. <3


----------



## Royn (May 14, 2017)

It is welsh non that auto crotch is stupor buggy no master watt plant form won is you sing.


----------



## PixelVixen (May 14, 2017)

Royn said:


> It is welsh non that auto crotch is stupor buggy no master watt plant form won is you sing.


Actually thought that was something relevant to me *is Welsh*

XD Made me laugh!


----------



## NetherRealm (May 14, 2017)

PlusThirtyOne said:


> Seriously...
> 
> These predictive texts and auto-corrections are bullshit and they aren't even WORDS!! How are they even "predictions"?!
> 
> ...





Well, from the way you are describing your issue, it makes me conclude you are running on an iPhone, I presume an older model though I may be wrong... Anyways, from my experience with my phone and the keyboard I currently (and prefer) to use, I have noticed that the more I use it, the more accurate it becomes, like for instance, when I type in "Rcognze" it will suggest"Recognize", just what you would expect, right? Now let's try something a bit more suggestive? The issues with this is I tend to use a variety of words, and I actually use *ahem* suggestive words, so this really won't work for me, however, if I type in "Fucx" It will suggest.... well, what you'd expect, but only because I tend to use that word *ahem* quite more often than I should.... But even so, it goes off of my pattern of typing and suggests what I usually would type rather than something as far off as "PornHub" for "Corn", though if I were you, I would just get a new phone, although that is assuming you are on an older model, and you can't use other keyboards.... Now if you are on a newer phone, I would HEAVILY suggest you use the google keyboard, as it is far nicer, sleeker, and it won't fuck you over... It doesn't force words upon you and make your loved ones question your personal activities... I can't say for certain as to why it would suggest PornHub though... I mean, perhaps you said it sometime, or maybe you accidentally misspelled corn? My guess would be the prior.... You probably accidentally typed "Cprn" and that might have led to the suggestion, well that or your brother/sister set it up to say that as a suggestion, then force it upon you... Although if you are on an older model phone, there SHOULD be a setting somewhere to set it so that it doesn't force suggestions onto you... If not, may god have mercy on your soul....

Also, I am sorry for the poor soul who actually reads all of this....


----------



## honimilk (May 14, 2017)

It will get better the more you use it, I use twitter on mobile for this reason alone!
Within 6 months it's even scary how much it will predict exactly what I wanna say.


----------



## real time strategist (May 15, 2017)

Yeah, when I am posting on mobile I always check to see if it fucked up before posting and even then there are issues sometimes after posting which I edit out. Also my phone has this thing where you can hold down and swipe across and It predicts what you want to say, which I never use because if you aren't using basic words it fucks up, but when I had it on it always made "the" into "8th" and turning off that feature fixed it.


----------



## GreenZone (Jun 9, 2017)

PlusThirtyOne said:


> i passed off my phone to my sister and "corn" auto-corrected it to "pornhub". i have NEVER been to pornhub on my phone! Honest!



yeah but if you have something like a Samsung Galaxy the auto predict learns from you and tends to find out what you're about to type similar to Google


----------



## PlusThirtyOne (Jun 9, 2017)

GreenZone said:


> yeah but if you have something like a Samsung Galaxy the auto predict learns from you and tends to find out what you're about to type similar to Google


True, but in order for that to happen i'd either have to have visited the site in my phone and/or while logged into my Google account. NONE of those things were the case. i went to PornHub...like...twice before Fallout4 came out and people were posting leaked footage there to avoid YouTube take-downs. LOL -And that was on my desktop PC, using a browser with no Google association and that was well over a year ago, even prior to the auto-correct mishap.

What i mean to say is: My phone had NO reason to believe i'd have even the slightest interest in going there, let alone whole grocery shopping with my sister. LOL


----------



## Catch_the_phrase (Aug 4, 2017)

NetherRealm said:


> Well, from the way you are describing your issue, it makes me conclude you are running on an iPhone, I presume an older model though I may be wrong... Anyways, from my experience with my phone and the keyboard I currently (and prefer) to use, I have noticed that the more I use it, the more accurate it becomes, like for instance, when I type in "Rcognze" it will suggest"Recognize", just what you would expect, right? Now let's try something a bit more suggestive? The issues with this is I tend to use a variety of words, and I actually use *ahem* suggestive words, so this really won't work for me, however, if I type in "Fucx" It will suggest.... well, what you'd expect, but only because I tend to use that word *ahem* quite more often than I should.... But even so, it goes off of my pattern of typing and suggests what I usually would type rather than something as far off as "PornHub" for "Corn", though if I were you, I would just get a new phone, although that is assuming you are on an older model, and you can't use other keyboards.... Now if you are on a newer phone, I would HEAVILY suggest you use the google keyboard, as it is far nicer, sleeker, and it won't fuck you over... It doesn't force words upon you and make your loved ones question your personal activities... I can't say for certain as to why it would suggest PornHub though... I mean, perhaps you said it sometime, or maybe you accidentally misspelled corn? My guess would be the prior.... You probably accidentally typed "Cprn" and that might have led to the suggestion, well that or your brother/sister set it up to say that as a suggestion, then force it upon you... Although if you are on an older model phone, there SHOULD be a setting somewhere to set it so that it doesn't force suggestions onto you... If not, may god have mercy on your soul....
> 
> Also, I am sorry for the poor soul who actually reads all of this....


"Also, I am sorry for the poor soul who actually reads all of this...."
Well fml


----------

