# Balance of Life



## Kope (May 13, 2022)

Should we confront those with bad ideas so they don’t harm others or maintain a peace that comes with being apolitical/ uncaring. What is the right balance between the two if there is at all?


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## QueenSekhmet (May 13, 2022)

depends on the idea and if anyone but them get's hurt from it. making the final season of the big bang theory all about sheldon getting a nobel prize was a bad idea but i wouldn't storm into the studio about it.


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## Kope (May 13, 2022)

QueenSekhmet said:


> depends on the idea and if anyone but them get's hurt from it. making the final season of the big bang theory all about sheldon getting a nobel prize was a bad idea but i wouldn't storm into the studio about it.


How can we know a person’s intentions then especially online


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## QueenSekhmet (May 13, 2022)

Kope said:


> How can we know a person’s intentions then especially online


some things don't need intention because some shit is just bad no matter the context. all and all it all depends on exactly WHAT they're dong: guy want's to skateboard down 20 steps? let him. not your problem if he hurts himself. guy want's skateboard down 20 steps with a dog in hand? that fucker needs to be stopped,i don't care what his intentions are.


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## LameFox (May 13, 2022)

My most charitable view of "confronting people with bad ideas" is that it might provide fence-sitting onlookers with a healthier perspective. It will not, as an almost immutable rule, convince the person you're confronting. That whole idea that if you just keep debating people eventually the best ideas will win out is utter bullshit. No matter how shit the idea is there are always people who will keep coming back to it and trying the same tired old arguments.

With that in mind, if you're going to do it, it's better to make your argument and be done with it. If someone keeps replying endlessly in bad faith (as they nearly always do) remember that it's not really about that person and walk away from it.


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## KimberVaile (May 13, 2022)

Kope said:


> Should we confront those with bad ideas so they don’t harm others or maintain a peace that comes with being apolitical/ uncaring. What is the right balance between the two if there is at all?


Consider A, the place/thread you are considering confronting the ideas in. B, the user who is speaking of the ideas you find bad. And C, how the other users might feel about you causing a debate in that thread and whether dms might be better.



Kope said:


> How can we know a person’s intentions then especially online


All the things you mentioned, including this question here, can be answered with social skills.


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## ConorHyena (May 13, 2022)

"The world suffers a lot. Not because of the violence of bad people, but because of the silence of good people."

Napoleon was spot on right there.


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## Mambi (May 13, 2022)

Kope said:


> Should we confront those with bad ideas so they don’t harm others or maintain a peace that comes with being apolitical/ uncaring. What is the right balance between the two if there is at all?



Bad ideas will foster and grow if unchallenged, *but* as a counterpoint they *should *be allowed to be said so they can be properly judged.

After all, approximately 80 years ago, it was considered a "bad idea" to give women and black people equality in society. 60 years ago if you were to accuse a priest of touching you the very idea that a priest could do bad was absolutely not allowed to be thought on threat of corporal punishment (my mother has some wild stories to back this up).  40 years ago it was considered a "bad idea" to treat gays and trans with anything other that abject derision and hostility. So those that would bring up the thought that the idea was wrong would have been challenged...and yet those ideas were correct in the end.

So yeah, if something feels wrong feel free to call it out sure, but allow for the remote possibility that you might be wrong. If the idea is just and "common sense", than it will stand up to scrutiny easily...and if it's not the person with the idea will be flustered and humiliated in minutes. If *you* happen to be wrong, it will show soon enough, so never any harm in gentle confrontation.

But allowing a measurably "bad" idea to fester? That just leads to circle=mentality and unchecked arrogant assumption that "nobody said anything so I can't be all wrong!" I grew up on school watching kids taunt "fags" during recess and the teachers would say nothing at all. Believe me, that person would have LOVED an advocate to tell the bullies that what they were doing was wrong. But honestly...when they say they had no support from anyone, they just started to assume they really *did* deserve that treatment and derogatory nickname.

That's the danger of apathy...even if someone futilely said to him after the fact "Hey buddy, that was uncalled for", it's all it would have taken to give them hope. We take that for granted nowadays Heck I bet anyone under 30 is totally confused by my story and the teachers/students doing nothing...but that's the point. To them, it wasn't a "bad idea". it was just how you "should" treat gay people back then and it was rarely questioned. Can you *imagine* how horrible things would be like if that attitude pertained???


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## Kope (May 13, 2022)

KimberVaile said:


> Consider A, the place/thread you are considering confronting the ideas in. B, the user who is speaking of the ideas you find bad. And C, how the other users might feel about you causing a debate in that thread and whether dms might be better.
> 
> 
> All the things you mentioned, including this question here, can be answered with social skills.


So if I said fuck you rn would you know it is a joke or serious?


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## KimberVaile (May 13, 2022)

Kope said:


> So if I said fuck you rn would you know it is a joke or serious?


I'd know you weren't being serious because you seem to want to make a point. Which by all means, if you want to make a point or express frustration at something, go on ahead.


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## Kope (May 13, 2022)

KimberVaile said:


> I'd know you weren't being serious because you seem to want to make a point. Which by all means, if you want to make a point or express frustration at something, go on ahead.


Maybe it’s both : p


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## KimberVaile (May 13, 2022)

Kope said:


> Maybe it’s both : p


Hmm, how to solve both problems..
Sounds like you're not koping very well with others, a little less salt in your diet helps with that.



See? I'm full of helpful advice. Two for one baby.


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## Kope (May 13, 2022)

KimberVaile said:


> Hmm, how to solve both problems..
> Sounds like you're not koping very well with others, a little less salt in your diet helps with that.
> 
> 
> ...


So you're one of those trolls I often hear about on here. How boring


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## KimberVaile (May 13, 2022)

Kope said:


> So you're one of those trolls I often hear about on here. How boring


I already gave you my piece, or did you already forget it? But yes, I'm sorry my sins of humor has offended you, lol. Man, I thought the fandom moved out of the phase were they accused people they disagreed with of being trolls because they were so asshurt by it. It's like being back in 2008.


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## Kope (May 13, 2022)

KimberVaile said:


> I already gave you my piece, or did you already forget it? But yes, I'm sorry my sins of humor has offended you, lol. Man, I thought the fandom moved out of the phase were they accused people they disagreed with of being trolls because they were so asshurt by it.


Ok have a good day and get therapy or whatever you need in life.


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## ConorHyena (May 13, 2022)

KimberVaile said:


> I already gave you my piece, or did you already forget it? But yes, I'm sorry my sins of humor has offended you, lol. Man, I thought the fandom moved out of the phase were they accused people they disagreed with of being trolls because they were so asshurt by it. It's like being back in 2008.


go back to sweden, troll

humor is banned on the internet


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## KimberVaile (May 13, 2022)

Kope said:


> Ok have a good day and get therapy or whatever you need in life.


Sounds like advice you need to take yourself more than me, really. Which I mean going by your vents, it'd probably would genuinely be a good thing for you.


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## Firuthi Dragovic (May 13, 2022)

There's a subtle art to confronting bad ideas, where you can challenge them AND look like you're apolitical at the same time.

It's a difficult art, one I really want to pursue but haven't had enough opportunities to do.

It does require you to learn to handle being apolitical long enough to read a room, though, so it's not for a lot of people.  Especially around here.


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## Parabellum3 (May 13, 2022)

Generally speaking, confronting people with bad ideas leads to war as history recalls.


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## Mambi (May 13, 2022)

Parabellum3 said:


> Generally speaking, confronting people with bad ideas leads to war as history recalls.



Generally speaking, confronting people with bad ideas *ends* war too as history recalls also. 

Since most war is a bad idea to begin with, the counter-confrontation gets diplomacy a chance to seem like the rational option once the bodies start piling up.


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## Kope (May 13, 2022)

Firuthi Dragovic said:


> There's a subtle art to confronting bad ideas, where you can challenge them AND look like you're apolitical at the same time.
> 
> It's a difficult art, one I really want to pursue but haven't had enough opportunities to do.
> 
> It does require you to learn to handle being apolitical long enough to read a room, though, so it's not for a lot of people.  Especially around here.


I’d like to learn it if you have any pointers


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## Fallowfox (May 14, 2022)

This is a broad question and the answer will depend on the context. 

For example, I do not bother trying to reason with my grandmother, who believes that miscegenation of the races will undermine society. She is too set in her ways and her intellect is not what it was, so little would be gained from trying to convince her otherwise.


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## Kope (May 14, 2022)

Fallowfox said:


> This is a broad question and the answer will depend on the context.
> 
> For example, I do not bother trying to reason with my grandmother, who believes that miscegenation of the races will undermine society. She is too set in her ways and her intellect is not what it was, so little would be gained from trying to convince her otherwise.


Damn that’s crazy


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## Fallowfox (May 14, 2022)

Kope said:


> Damn that’s crazy


If you sit down and talk with older people it's a surprisingly common conviction. 

To provide a counter-example where I do intervene:
Some people in my family have an apprehensive attitude towards vaccines. Finding non-confrontational ways to address that hesitancy was obviously important in the last couple of years. They probably would have come to the right answers by themselves, but having affirmation from other people probably helped them on the way there.


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## Kope (May 14, 2022)

Fallowfox said:


> If you sit down and talk with older people it's a surprisingly common conviction.
> 
> To provide a counter-example where I do intervene:
> Some people in my family have an apprehensive attitude towards vaccines. Finding non-confrontational ways to address that hesitancy was obviously important in the last couple of years. They probably would have come to the right answers by themselves, but having affirmation from other people probably helped them on the way there.


My grandma is okay, but they are very susceptible to propaganda like the reactionary All Lives Matter shit cause it sounds good at first if you don’t look into it.


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## Borophagus Metropolis (May 14, 2022)

I prefer No Lives Matter. UwU


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## Kope (May 14, 2022)

Borophagus Metropolis said:


> I prefer No Lives Matter. UwU


A fan of Metal are you?


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## Borophagus Metropolis (May 14, 2022)

Kope said:


> A fan of Metal are you?



Fan of all. Fan of none.


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