# I feel ashamed of my fetishes



## Fruitythebeetle (Jan 3, 2019)

I'm wary about talking about this but I just feel like I'm not normal for not finding sex arousing. I personally find most fetishes related to sex boring or mediocre at best. As it turns out, I find more...more unorthodox fetishes to be more arousing both in imagination  and porn. But when I share these fetishes, even anonymously, folks mock for me for it or  think I'm a freak for not enjoying vanilla fetishes like sex.

Am by no means asexual. I do kinda desire sex to some degree yet only under certain moments it seems. But I understandd how you guys feel and although I may disagree with some fetishes, I can tolerant them.



Spoiler: Fetishes I admit to having



- breast and ass expansion

- Transformation (except for inanimate objects, I hate that shit)

- Body inflation (as long as it's not hyper)

- Clothing damage or malfunction

- Macro and to a lesser extent micro

- Feet, I'm turned off by hyper kinds of it

- Muscle growth

-guro

-weight gain

-bara

-tentacle

-latex and very skintight outfits

-dark skin

-teratophilia and xenophilia

-redheads

-dfc paired with big hips

-thicc

-age progression


*Fetishes I'm not into (but  tolerant)
*


-soft vore

-hyper of any kind

- Water sports

-futa (unless the dick is retractable)

-  gender bending (no just no. Bonus points when it's ftm)

-tickling (I just find it childish)

- Petite girls with no ass

- In fact, lolis and shotas in general


*Niche fetish that I might as well have*

-himbonization (basically guy turns into airbrained beef cake)

- Savage or wild change (person's mind regresses to a primal state. This may also be physical)

- Jungles or rainforest settings (Tarzan might as well have been my sexual awakening for me)

- Beauty and beast like relationship (one person is human and the other is non human or not normal to some degree)




Edit: hate is a strong word  so I changed it a bit


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## Fallowfox (Jan 3, 2019)

We risk straying into content that may not be PG13 here. x3

Being a kinkster isn't something to be ashamed of, if you're not doing anybody any harm. So don't beat yourself up about it. (unless you're a masochist ;D )


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## Fruitythebeetle (Jan 3, 2019)

Yea, that's why I was worried about talking about this sort of thing. One of the reasons I admit to liking the furry fandom is that allows me to more open and less inclined to hide my feelings about stuff.


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## Deleted member 82554 (Jan 3, 2019)

Reading through the op I was liek nah, there's no way she could be into something that would repulse me, but then I was like ya know, that's cringy but I could liek totally get into that. 

In any event, we all have our various quirks about ourselves and that's what makes people interesting, but obviously some things should be kept to yourself because social etiquette and decorum. Besides, what you're into ain't any worse than what I'm into so don't feel to bad.


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## Cannabiskitty (Jan 3, 2019)

None of that is really weird to me, but I guess I get really weird. I'm crazy.


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## Pipistrele (Jan 3, 2019)

I saw worse, you're fine. Hating on other people's fetishes yourself is not cool though (unless it's about sexualizing something that shouldn't be sexualized, like underage sex)


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## Fruitythebeetle (Jan 3, 2019)

Pipistrele said:


> I saw worse, you're fine. Hating on other people's fetishes yourself is not cool though (unless it's about sexualizing something that shouldn't be sexualized, like underage sex)


I meant that. Yea that word felt too.strong to use so lemme change that.


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## Alondight (Jan 3, 2019)

Gee those kinks are pretty vanilla compared to the stuff I'm into lol. I'd say just roll with it and enjoy it, it's normal that people find fetishes weird, because fetishes _are_ weird. Just don't let it get to you, and if you're more open about it, you'll discover people who share your interests and you'll make some great friends. That's what happened to me.


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## Misha Bordiga Zahradník (Jan 3, 2019)

Fruitythebeetle said:


> I'm wary about talking about this but I just feel like I'm not normal for not finding sex arousing. I personally find most fetishes related to sex boring or mediocre at best. As it turns out, I find more...more unorthodox fetishes to be more arousing both in imagination  and porn. But when I share these fetishes, even anonymously, folks mock for me for it or  think I'm a freak for not enjoying vanilla fetishes like sex.
> 
> Am by no means asexual. I do kinda desire sex to some degree yet only under certain moments it seems. But I understandd how you guys feel and although I may disagree with some fetishes, I can tolerant them.
> 
> ...


If you are worried about any of it I'd talk to a shrink, but this is the kinkiest fandom by far.


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## Gradiusgadwin (Jan 3, 2019)

As long as you keep your fetishes for yourself instead of being awkwardly loud and vocal about them outside the fetish fandom, you don't have illegal "fetishes" (like real life pedophilia and zoophilia) and you're not obsessed with them to the point of turning your fetishes into a lifestyle, then there's nothing to be ashamed of.  Of course it's only natural when you share your weird fetishes with regular people and treat you like a freak, especially if you talk about them out of blue. But you can't force everyone to be open-minded and accept your weird fetishes.


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## TabbyTomCat (Jan 3, 2019)

Fruitythebeetle said:


> .... I personally find most fetishes related to sex boring or mediocre at best. As it turns out, I find more...more unorthodox fetishes to be more arousing both in imagination  and porn. ...



You seem young for that if you profile age is true. However it's normal and absolutely ok that you became bored with regular sex and became more and more open to other ways of "sexual fun" with age.
You are not mature yet if you still give a fuck about others opinion on that.


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## SkyeLegs (Jan 3, 2019)

I used to be ashamed of my more unorthodox fetishes, but I recently started being more open about it (in appropriate areas) and doing art of them. It's led me to meet other like-minded people to talk with and share experiences. It's been rather cathartic.


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## AppleButt (Jan 3, 2019)

I have so many weird fetishes that normal people would side eye me for lol. 

I don’t regret having them a bit though.


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## PercyD (Jan 3, 2019)

=u=//
One- let me say that being asexual is not a bad thing to be. I am asexual. I am also in my 30s, so I really don't need any one telling me that I haven't awaken sexually yet. Thats kind of degrading to me, tbh...
At any rate, people often misunderstand what asexuality is.

Being asexual _doesn't_ mean that you don't have a libido. Thats kind of dehumanzing because _everyone_ has a libido. You just aren't attracted to or interested in having sex with other people. This might even show up in your fetishes and how you react to sexual situations.
The kinks I enjoy writing about and drawing are actually very similar to the op. 

Two- there are asexuals who still have sex. Some people are just attracted to and only interested in having sex with one person (demisexual). This is not just being in a loving, dedicated relationship either. They literally are only sexually satisfied with one person, and that one person can always change. Beyond demisexuality, some asexuals still have sex. It's similar to people who enjoy cooking shows, watch cooking shows, and may even cook. Some people don't enjoy cooking and may only stick to watching cooking shows because it's enjoyable for them to watch. Some may even not enjoy cooking but will cook because they like to cook with people they care about. Exactly the same thing, but exchange cooking with sexual acts.

Finally, in sumation, different strokes for different folks. It's kinda stupid to judge people according to what kinks they prefer. So long as it's not hurting any one or fetishizing particular groups, it's fine. Let people have their content.


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## Aika the manokit (Jan 3, 2019)

Fruitythebeetle said:


> I'm wary about talking about this but I just feel like I'm not normal for not finding sex arousing. I personally find most fetishes related to sex boring or mediocre at best. As it turns out, I find more...more unorthodox fetishes to be more arousing both in imagination  and porn. But when I share these fetishes, even anonymously, folks mock for me for it or  think I'm a freak for not enjoying vanilla fetishes like sex.
> 
> Am by no means asexual. I do kinda desire sex to some degree yet only under certain moments it seems. But I understandd how you guys feel and although I may disagree with some fetishes, I can tolerant them.
> 
> ...


Im a Vore fan... Not many like me when I bring it up. Soft Vore is my preference cuz I like bellies. Your normal compared to me


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## Fruitythebeetle (Jan 4, 2019)

I'm more hard vore which overlaps with my guro or Gore fetish. But to each to own. Really how I tend to like my vore may not be vore in the traditional sense. I kinda like the kinda where where the character is bite on and chewed....which is screwed up But there ya go. O


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## Toby_Morpheus (Jan 4, 2019)

Nothing to be ashamed of as long as you aren't doing anything shameful, like fucking with other people who either won't or can't consent.
Also, nothing to fear if you're not addicted to the stuff to the point where it ruins your personal life.

I know it's been said to death already, that it's ok, but let me say this: EVERYONE is a freak in some way or another. Even the most straight-laced person can be freaky (and often are freakier than some overtly freaky people you might befriend)


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## Mewmento (Jan 4, 2019)

Everyone has their kinks.

As long as it is _not illegal_ or involving minors. More power to you!


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## The Matte-Black Cat (Jan 4, 2019)

Idk if it counts as a "fetish", but I crush _really_ hard on characters from video games. It's male human characters who I can imagine how they'd look in actuality - like they already look pretty realistic..So far, I've been crushing on two.


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## BackPaw (Jan 4, 2019)

Mewmento said:


> Everyone has their kinks.
> 
> As long as it is _not illegal_ or involving minors. More power to you!


This.  Exactly this.  EVERYONE has at least one kink.  OP, don't stress about it.  You're doing fine.


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## Fallowfox (Jan 4, 2019)

BackPaw said:


> This.  Exactly this.  EVERYONE has at least one kink.  OP, don't stress about it.  You're doing fine.



I think there's plenty of people who don't. I remember when I was a teenager my girlfriend asked me if I was into anything kinky. 

I thought this was her way of finding a means to confess she had some odd kinks, but felt comfortable sharing that information with me. 
So I confided in her that I was a furry and so on, and then it was her turn to say what she was into. 

_Nothing_. She just liked plain old vanilla.


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## furryswag (Jan 4, 2019)

Eh you're fine. I like some of the same stuff.


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## Pinky (Jan 4, 2019)

Nothing wrong with having a fetish as long as you don't shove it in people's faces/being weird about it. Heck some might argue that furries are a fetish.


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## David Drake (Jan 5, 2019)

I think everyone has pretty much said what I was going to say. I only have one or two big kinks of my own, but I'm also willing to branch out with the right partner. I had someone once where I was not only willing but excited to try things with that with anyone else, in any other context, I would be super uncomfortable and uninterested in. Hopefully you'll find a partner that can accept and even help indulge your fantasies.


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## Connor J. Coyote (Jan 5, 2019)

Fruitythebeetle said:


> I'm wary about talking about this but I just feel like I'm not normal for not finding sex arousing. I personally find most fetishes related to sex boring or mediocre at best. As it turns out, I find more...more unorthodox fetishes to be more arousing both in imagination  and porn. But when I share these fetishes, even anonymously, folks mock for me for it or  think I'm a freak for not enjoying vanilla fetishes like sex.
> 
> Am by no means asexual. I do kinda desire sex to some degree yet only under certain moments it seems. But I understandd how you guys feel and although I may disagree with some fetishes, I can tolerant them.
> 
> ...


Never apologize to people for your kinks.


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## JakeTheFoXx (Jan 5, 2019)

As many have said, as long ss you as it isnt illegal or involves anyone that is able to legally consent, let your freak flag fly my friend!


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## Filter (Jan 5, 2019)

I wouldn't necessarily feel ashamed, but I wouldn't go around talking about them in mixed company. The way I see it, fetishes are something to share selectively with one's spouse/partner. Having a fetish is a little having an "on" button. That can be a good thing. Sharing "on" buttons with each other is part of intimacy. Something that can help turn each other one. Just be careful about which ones you share and how you do it, so you don't hurt their feelings.


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## Nihles (Jan 7, 2019)

Fur real, as long as everyone is safe and everyone is consenting, be as kinky as you want. 

Don't let everyone pretending to be vanilla in public spaces let you think that kinks are somehow weird or odd.

It's not like we consciously choose what turns us on >//>


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## Connor J. Coyote (Jan 7, 2019)

Nihles said:


> Fur real, as long as everyone is safe and everyone is consenting, be as kinky as you want.


 So long as it's legal, of course.


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## Nihles (Jan 8, 2019)

Connor J. Coyote said:


> So long as it's legal, of course.


Good clarification!


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## LabyrinthMaster (Jan 8, 2019)

This had to be shared :


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## FatalBlackRose (Jan 14, 2019)

I'd say as long as you enjoy it, who the fuck cares about what others think. After all you aren't hurting anyone by looking at nsfw art with the fetishes you like. But that's just how I view it.


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## CrookedCroc (Jan 17, 2019)

As long as you aren't doing anything illegal or making others feel uncomfortable everything is okay


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## perkele (Jan 18, 2019)

Gradiusgadwin said:


> ...and you're not obsessed with them to the point of turning your fetishes into a lifestyle, then there's nothing to be ashamed of.



Not that we know any groups of people that do that. :3c


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## Matt the Terrier (Jan 22, 2019)

I'm ashamed of the fetishes I'm into, but I still. . .erm. . .follow them? It's part of who I am. I don't know how to break myself of this bad habit.


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## LatexHorse (Jan 23, 2019)

I have a ton of weird fetishes I havent told anyone. I regularly check out websites for my interests, be it transformation related, latex, vacbed etc... I really love talking about fetishes with people, but I have yet to reveal my most inner fetishes to the people I know.


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## Fallowfox (Jan 23, 2019)

LabyrinthMaster said:


> This had to be shared :








How come 'lesbian' is normal but 'gay' is weird?


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## Pipistrele (Jan 23, 2019)

Fallowfox said:


> View attachment 52910
> 
> How come 'lesbian' is normal but 'gay' is weird?


I think the bigger elephant in the room is "how being gay/lesbian is a fetish". Though that's just a random meme made by some normie, so we can let it slide -u-


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## Jackpot Raccuki (Jan 23, 2019)

Everyone has their kinks.
Some people get turned on or off by stuff.
And some people get curious.

Nothing wrong with it, unless it's illegal then you should watch what you do.



Fruitythebeetle said:


> I'm more hard vore which overlaps with my guro or Gore fetish. But to each to own. Really how I tend to like my vore may not be vore in the traditional sense. I kinda like the kinda where where the character is bite on and chewed....which is screwed up But there ya go. O


For obvious reasons I prefer soft vore, mainly in that whiles I can be weird and enjoy killing other people, not many people obviously like death, nor even being brought back to live to experience it over and over again.
Hence why the most I'll ask from someone in regards to vore is soft vore and say how my character can actually control his acids and not kill them.

Plus soft vore is like a nice break, it isn't like a death sentence if I eat someone, especially not the way I prefer the softvore so I can have intimidate moments yet also get to eat tasty people.

Just don't beat yourself up over it. Everyone has weird kinks.


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## Dongding (Jan 23, 2019)

Haha. I thought you were going to be into some heinous shit due to the nature of this fandom, but you had basically run of the mill furry fetishes. >w<

I collect them like stamps. Sometimes all it takes is one picture to realize you enjoy the concept of something.

You never find what you aren't looking for outside of fortunate coincidences, even if other people that don't have any reason to shame it don't appreciate it as you do. Just enjoy it now that you know you do.


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## LatexHorse (Jan 23, 2019)

I really love to talk with people who share the fetishes and maybe most of all, the enthusiasm for it.


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## Dongding (Jan 23, 2019)

There's a point in your life where you realize weird fetishes you can't humanly help are literally normal and generally everyone who raises a fuss about it without understanding that is just self conscious and afraid of not fitting in.


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## LatexHorse (Jan 23, 2019)

*hanging out on rule34 lookin' at "suit transformations"*
*have no idea who and where to talk with like-minded*
It's almost painful.


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## ZeroVoidTime (Jan 23, 2019)

Fallowfox said:


> View attachment 52910
> 
> How come 'lesbian' is normal but 'gay' is weird?


Because Lesbians are a big fetish fuel for straight guys or what I heard as I am not straight.......... >.<


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## ManicTherapsid (Jan 23, 2019)

I'm kind of curious as to what percentage of the fandom has some type of TF fetish. I imagine it's got to be pretty high.


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## LabyrinthMaster (Jan 24, 2019)

Fallowfox said:


> View attachment 52910
> 
> How come 'lesbian' is normal but 'gay' is weird?


I have absolutely no idea. I wasn't the one to make that list.


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## Fruitythebeetle (Jan 25, 2019)

lemme answer this as someone who's very knee deep in the whole lewd thing. the reason it feels more acceptable to enjoy lesbian porn is because both participants are female and since the porn industry is largely straight males...it makes sense. though personally, i don't like most male gazey lesbian porn as it feels like fetish fuel that makes wlw people as these objects to fap to. it's quite disgusting actually. 

again i could be wrong but i heard this talked about before in a lot of subreddits i frequent.


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## Gaitsu (Jan 25, 2019)

From what I've read so far, the kinks you have aren't by any stretch weird, at least, as far as THIS community goes. Even the more out there ones are very small.
Some people just can't do normal, and there's nothing wrong with that. Remember that there are kinks that, even in 'normal' society, were taboo, don't talk about it, it doesn't happen, to those are now the norm. If there is one thing I've learned from this community, it's that you should never be ashamed of who you are, and just roll with the punches.


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## Fruitythebeetle (Jan 25, 2019)

Dongding said:


> Haha. I thought you were going to be into some heinous shit due to the nature of this fandom, but you had basically run of the mill furry fetishes. >w<
> 
> I collect them like stamps. Sometimes all it takes is one picture to realize you enjoy the concept of something.
> 
> You never find what you aren't looking for outside of fortunate coincidences, even if other people that don't have any reason to shame it don't appreciate it as you do. Just enjoy it now that you know you do.


by furry standards at least.


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## Infrarednexus (Jan 25, 2019)

No, you should not be ashamed of what you are into, so long as it's legal and it doesn't harm anyone who's not consensual about it. I'm into my fair share of kinks too. At first I was insecure and ashamed, but then I realized can't control what I'm into, and the things I like don't hurt anyone anyway. 

Over time I accepted my personal tastes, and I looked others who shared my interests. It helped me a lot, and I recommend you do it as well.


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## Littlefoot505 (Jan 25, 2019)

I'm currently in the process of coming to terms with some of my kinks, but yeah, I'm going to echo what I see a lot of people saying and tell you that as long as you don't get into anything illegal (like CP) or try to perform any illegal/immoral sexual acts (bestiality, rape, child molesting, etc) irl, you're good. We don't choose our fetishes/kinks/etc (if we did, I sure never would've chosen to be attracted to dinosaurs), but these days, there are harmless ways to express our kinks and easy ways to interact with people who share them (there really is no harm in getting off to a picture someone drew of a dinosaur showing its nether regions, nor in posting it to appropriate places that are visited by people who would also get off to such things). Granted, dinosaur pinups are a vanilla example of what I'm into, but you get the idea. I'm basically in the same boat as Infrarednexus. I'm not exactly proud of the fact that I get off to dinosaurs, but I do, and I'm not harming anyone by doing so.


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## Dongding (Jan 25, 2019)

I've come to the conclusion it isn't specific fetishes that are attractive to people, but the underlying concepts.

I'm into fetishes that play off of themes that are inclusive to non/dubious-consent, humiliation, helplessness, regret, shame, degradation, and objectification.

If it's playing off of one of those themes I have a pretty good chance of adding it to my "stamp collection".

The people that are into the aforementioned "illegal/immoral sexual acts (bestiality, rape, child molesting, etc" are attracted to actual evil concepts.

Taking advantage of lack of ability to defend one's self from literal abuse. That's evil fucking shit right there. I'll empathize with those who have an inability to ignore those urges, but if they fail to do so in a way that harms or disturbs anyone else in any sort of way then they lose my respect and pity because being human is about rising above animalistic urges like those; however poor people are at actually doing that.


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## Fruitythebeetle (Jan 25, 2019)

Littlefoot505 said:


> I'm currently in the process of coming to terms with some of my kinks, but yeah, I'm going to echo what I see a lot of people saying and tell you that as long as you don't get into anything illegal (like CP) or try to perform any illegal/immoral sexual acts (bestiality, rape, child molesting, etc) irl, you're good. We don't choose our fetishes/kinks/etc (if we did, I sure never would've chosen to be attracted to dinosaurs), but these days, there are harmless ways to express our kinks and easy ways to interact with people who share them (there really is no harm in getting off to a picture someone drew of a dinosaur showing its nether regions, nor in posting it to appropriate places that are visited by people who would also get off to such things). Granted, dinosaur pinups are a vanilla example of what I'm into, but you get the idea. I'm basically in the same boat as Infrarednexus. I'm not exactly proud of the fact that I get off to dinosaurs, but I do, and I'm not harming anyone by doing so.


oddly, humanoid dinosaurs were my gateway to becoming furry so not to worry my man.


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## Littlefoot505 (Jan 25, 2019)

Fruitythebeetle said:


> oddly, humanoid dinosaurs were my gateway to becoming furry so not to worry my man.


Nice!! That’s the same for me. I’m into all kinds of yiff, but dinosaur yiff is my go-to, and yeah, anthro/humanoid dinosaurs were both my gateway to realizing I was capable of being attracted to dinosaurs (I watched a few episodes of a show called Dinosaucers a few years back and found one character named Teryx just so damn attractive) and to exploring those feelings (a few months ago, I discovered Trias the Dino Artist, and then things went downhill from there...)


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## LatexHorse (Jan 25, 2019)

Same here, but I started with  horses and dragons. Now I'm into mostly everything^^
My problem is finding people who wants to share the fantasy and talk a lot about it.


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## Fruitythebeetle (Jan 25, 2019)

i like horse and dragons so i'm here atleast.


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## Dongding (Jan 25, 2019)

I'm into a lot of very mean-spirited and unhealthy things. UwU<3


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## Massan Otter (Jan 25, 2019)

My fetishes are mostly tactile things that aren't exclusively furry, but OTOH the furry fandom does provide some relaxed and fun ways to pursue those.


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## LatexHorse (Jan 25, 2019)

Latex is also a very central thing with the furry. (For me that is).


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## Dongding (Jan 25, 2019)

Furriness is awesome. Part of why I believe people in the fandom are so likely to adopt new fetishes is that the nature of artwork only displays the vision of the artist. Often artists exclude the negative aspects of what they're portraying.

The art is attractive because it's the ideal form of that concept generally as far as I can tell.


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## FurryBoi (Jan 25, 2019)

You should never be ashamed of what you're into, Everyone has something embarrassing but it's nothing you should be ashamed of. You can even think of it like this: other people will never get to have the pleasure of experiencing what you're into, well that's what I do and I got over it. So you do you and don't let anyone talk you down.


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## maladroitmetaphor (Jan 27, 2019)

LabyrinthMaster said:


> This had to be shared :


Idk how and why Ebony/dark skin is said to be a fetish as it implies having that and/or being attracted to it is.....taboo.


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## quoting_mungo (Jan 27, 2019)

Dongding said:


> The people that are into the aforementioned "illegal/immoral sexual acts (bestiality, rape, child molesting, etc" are attracted to actual evil concepts.


That's assuming people are attracted to those themes as perpetrator, which is not a given. Plenty of people are attracted to art featuring these concepts because they put themselves in the position of victim (playing into having a Thing for humiliation and/or helplessness, for instance) or similar. If the creation of your wanking material doesn't harm anyone, and the artist does their best to distribute it responsibly (at the very least behind a clickthrough if it's NSFW), I don't think calling it evil is well motivated. The notion that being into something in art means someone would perform those acts in person if they had the chance is arguably harmful, both because it leads to harassment of people who would never in a thousand years perform those acts, and because it leads to "kink guilt" that can eat a person up pretty quickly.

No one is to blame for their wiring. As long as urges are satisfied in a non-harmful way, shaming people for their kinks is, far as I'm concerned, immoral and counterproductive.


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## Fallowfox (Jan 27, 2019)

quoting_mungo said:


> That's assuming people are attracted to those themes as perpetrator, which is not a given. Plenty of people are attracted to art featuring these concepts because they put themselves in the position of victim (playing into having a Thing for humiliation and/or helplessness, for instance) or similar. If the creation of your wanking material doesn't harm anyone, and the artist does their best to distribute it responsibly (at the very least behind a clickthrough if it's NSFW), I don't think calling it evil is well motivated. The notion that being into something in art means someone would perform those acts in person if they had the chance is arguably harmful, both because it leads to harassment of people who would never in a thousand years perform those acts, and because it leads to "kink guilt" that can eat a person up pretty quickly.
> 
> No one is to blame for their wiring. As long as urges are satisfied in a non-harmful way, shaming people for their kinks is, far as I'm concerned, immoral and counterproductive.



I came across art on Fur Affinity a while ago which showed a woman being raped and decapitated. 
Whether the commissioner fantasised about being the perpetrator, victim, or a voyeur, all of those rolls are morally reprehensible and while I appreciate that they're unlikely to murder real people, that doesn't really provide any comfort to me; even if the likelihood they'd do it was one in a million, that's still too much. 

I felt frustrated that the Upload Policy of fur affinity doesn't have a provision to prohibit murder-porn. I would be able to appreciate that a cartoon dragon voring a furry isn't 'really a violent fetish', but there's pornography involving *guillotines* on the site. S: 

I really wish there wasn't!


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## Massan Otter (Jan 27, 2019)

maladroitmetaphor said:


> Idk how and why Ebony/dark skin is said to be a fetish as it implies having that and/or being attracted to it is.....taboo.



The whole chart is questionable, really.  There are harmless things surprisingly far down and problematic things surprisingly near the top.


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## quoting_mungo (Jan 27, 2019)

Fallowfox said:


> I came across art on Fur Affinity a while ago which showed a woman being raped and decapitated.
> Whether the commissioner fantasised about being the perpetrator, victim, or a voyeur, all of those rolls are morally reprehensible and while I appreciate that they're unlikely to murder real people, that doesn't really provide any comfort to me; even if the likelihood they'd do it was one in a million, that's still too much.
> 
> I felt frustrated that the Upload Policy of fur affinity doesn't have a provision to prohibit murder-porn. I would be able to appreciate that a cartoon dragon voring a furry isn't 'really a violent fetish', but there's pornography involving *guillotines* on the site. S:
> ...


Being disturbed by it is understandable. There's no inherent problem with you finding it disturbing. The problem lies in condemning and shaming people for finding it arousing. (I also disagree with you in calling fantasizing about being raped and murdered immoral, but respect that those are your feelings on the matter.) Like, you're a good guy far as I know, so I don't think you specifically would get on the artist's/commissioner's case about creating/commissioning the work making them a potential murderer and just as reprehensible as one, but I've seen people do just that (well, the equivalent) to people drawing straightforward rape or bestiality. I don't think that does any good.

This is one of those situations where I appreciate the distinction made on fchan between /a/ and /ah/ - if there was a separate rating for hard/extreme kink it'd be easier to avoid without culling it completely.


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## Jackpot Raccuki (Jan 27, 2019)

Massan Otter said:


> The whole chart is questionable, really.  There are harmless things surprisingly far down and problematic things surprisingly near the top.


Those kind of "degenerate" icebergs are usually wrong or are just made in a rush to try and either prove a point or just for the sake of a laugh.
In otherwords, take it with a grain of salt, or even don't believe in it at all.


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## Fallowfox (Jan 27, 2019)

quoting_mungo said:


> Being disturbed by it is understandable. There's no inherent problem with you finding it disturbing. The problem lies in condemning and shaming people for finding it arousing. (I also disagree with you in calling fantasizing about being raped and murdered immoral, but respect that those are your feelings on the matter.) Like, you're a good guy far as I know, so I don't think you specifically would get on the artist's/commissioner's case about creating/commissioning the work making them a potential murderer and just as reprehensible as one, but I've seen people do just that (well, the equivalent) to people drawing straightforward rape or bestiality. I don't think that does any good.
> 
> This is one of those situations where I appreciate the distinction made on fchan between /a/ and /ah/ - if there was a separate rating for hard/extreme kink it'd be easier to avoid without culling it completely.


I don't interact with artists making this content, but I _would _really appreciate it if the Upload Policy had a provision that meant it could be reported and removed from the website. 

I am uncomfortable with artistic depictions of rape or bestiality too, although I appreciate that an attraction to cartoon animals may be wholly distinct from any attraction to real animals, and that having a crush on Charizard isn't comparable to wanting to abuse a dog. 
I also appreciate that a drawing of a non-consensual tickling session, or a non-consensual spanking, is distinct from drawings that depict rape or battery. 

In the United Kingdom that distinction is loosely represented in law; drawings that depicted Mufasa having sex wouldn't be considered bestiality, but a drawing that implied the artist or commissioner fantasised about abusing real animals would be considered illegal. One of the few approaches to sex and pornography I think British law actually has right.


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## Dongding (Jan 27, 2019)

quoting_mungo said:


> That's assuming people are attracted to those themes as perpetrator, which is not a given. Plenty of people are attracted to art featuring these concepts because they put themselves in the position of victim (playing into having a Thing for humiliation and/or helplessness, for instance) or similar. If the creation of your wanking material doesn't harm anyone, and the artist does their best to distribute it responsibly (at the very least behind a clickthrough if it's NSFW), I don't think calling it evil is well motivated. The notion that being into something in art means someone would perform those acts in person if they had the chance is arguably harmful, both because it leads to harassment of people who would never in a thousand years perform those acts, and because it leads to "kink guilt" that can eat a person up pretty quickly.
> 
> No one is to blame for their wiring. As long as urges are satisfied in a non-harmful way, shaming people for their kinks is, far as I'm concerned, immoral and counterproductive.


You misunderstood what I was saying.

I said the concepts were evil. They are. And then I go on to say essentially exactly what you wrote after it...

Edit: Sorry, split attention. Must have said it somewhere else. I agree with you in any case, is my point.

Double Edit: Reread with what I just mentioned in mind. I made it easier by bolding the important bit.


Dongding said:


> Taking advantage of lack of ability to defend one's self from literal abuse. That's evil fucking shit right there. *I'll empathize with those who have an inability to ignore those urges, but if they fail to do so in a way that harms or disturbs anyone else in any sort of way then they lose my respect and pity because being human is about rising above animalistic urges like those; however poor people are at actually doing that.*



Triple Edit >w<: Also worth mentioning I understand what you mean about playing a victim instead of a perpetrator. If that's the case the act is consensual and sort of not really inclusive to what we're discussing.


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## Cannabiskitty (Jan 27, 2019)

Art is subjective. The only thing about it that's evil is how much it costs, and I'm not just talking about money.


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## quoting_mungo (Jan 27, 2019)

Dongding said:


> You misunderstood what I was saying.
> 
> I said the concepts were evil. They are. And then I go on to say essentially exactly what you wrote after it...
> 
> ...


Fair! It was difficult to tell whether you were condemning the underlying concepts as they relate to real-life acts or as they relate to art, so I wasn't sure exactly where you were drawing the line. I also wasn't certain how widely you were defining "harms or disturbs anyone else" - if Fallow is disturbed by depictions of sexual violence; does that mean that posting that art is disturbing someone else? 

Basically, I found there was enough ambiguity to your statement that the point was worth making. Nothing personal, more a point of clarification. 

(I'm also not certain whether I agree that fantasizing about being/identifying with the victim makes the whole context consensual - the difference is easier to illustrate in writing than art; a story about rape and a story about consensual consent play would likely read very differently, but to someone who is into rape as a kink because they put themselves in the role of the victim, the attraction of those stories may (or may not, depending on whether the one-step-removed-ness of consent play interferes with their fantasy) be the same. This is especially important in the wider context of this thread as I know there are some people out there who are quite happy to slap the "potential rapist" label on anyone who enjoys non-con artwork, regardless of which party they identify with.)



Fallowfox said:


> I don't interact with artists making this content, but I _would _really appreciate it if the Upload Policy had a provision that meant it could be reported and removed from the website.


I don't honestly see why it should. Again, I understand that it disturbs you, and am not saying it shouldn't, but FA never really has been in the business of making moral judgments about subject matter. I don't see there being a good reason why it should start now.


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## Fallowfox (Jan 27, 2019)

quoting_mungo said:


> I don't honestly see why it should. Again, I understand that it disturbs you, and am not saying it shouldn't, but FA never really has been in the business of making moral judgments about subject matter. I don't see there being a good reason why it should start now.



I think the site should have _always_ drawn a line that said sexual depictions of murder are not acceptable. 
The website forbids pornography of child characters, because the sexual impetus that represents is a drive to commit serious crime, so murder should be viewed from the same perspective. 
If you imagine 'normal' furry kinks, by contrast- like, macro, diaper inflation, male pregnancy or farting, those might be _strange_, but they can't be said to represent criminal proclivity.


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## Massan Otter (Jan 27, 2019)

Fallowfox said:


> I think the site should have _always_ drawn a line that said sexual depictions of murder are not acceptable.
> The website forbids pornography of child characters, because the sexual impetus that represents is a drive to commit serious crime, so murder should be viewed from the same perspective.
> If you imagine 'normal' furry kinks, by contrast- like, macro, diaper inflation, male pregnancy or farting, those might be _strange_, but they can't be said to represent criminal proclivity.



Where would vore come in relation to that, since a lot of it depicts sentient characters being killed?  I don't get it myself, but it seems to be regarded as pretty much vanilla in many furry chats! (Even the same ones where I get called a degenerate for being into rubber animal suits).


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## Fallowfox (Jan 27, 2019)

Massan Otter said:


> Where would vore come in relation to that, since a lot of it depicts sentient characters being killed?  I don't get it myself, but it seems to be regarded as pretty much vanilla in many furry chats! (Even the same ones where I get called a degenerate for being into rubber animal suits).



I think that would depend what sort of vore it was, because some vore fetishists have a very 'soft' 'plush' version of the fetish, whereas others produce art of characters being dissolved in stomachs. 
Given that it usually revolves around large monsters eating characters whole, it doesn't have a direct correspondance to real life cannibalism. 
So I would probably not consider it an example of a criminal proclivity. 

By contrast a piece of art which showed a furry being killed, butchered, and then cooked, would be something I'd consider to have criminal proclivity.


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## quoting_mungo (Jan 27, 2019)

Fallowfox said:


> The website forbids pornography of child characters, because the sexual impetus that represents is a drive to commit serious crime, so murder should be viewed from the same perspective.


Except that line wasn't drawn for moral guardian type reasons (on FA's part), nor has it always been in place. That line was drawn because the content was interfering with the site's funding. (Now, if you post murder porn and talk in the description about how you want to make it more than a fantasy, that'd get you in trouble right quick under COC.)

With all the crime shows out there, it's not even as though there's much of an argument to be made that depictions of murder are a legal gray area (which would be the other possible reason I could see for FA to consider banning it). 

I'm all for making extreme kinks easier to avoid for people who aren't into them; I just don't think telling people "your kink is a crime waiting to happen" is going to do more good than harm.


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## Keefur (Jan 27, 2019)

As long as what you do is legal and consensual, then don't be ashamed of it.


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## Troj (Jan 27, 2019)

At the end of the day, what matters is how you behave and operate in the real world. Do you generally treat other beings with basic compassion, courtesy, and respect, and are you respectful of others' boundaries, rights, and bodily autonomy?  Can you (and do you) confine the expression of your kinks and sexual desires to appropriate times and places? Does the expression of your kinks enable or, especially, require the genuine exploitation of real, living, innocent, non-consenting beings? Are your kinks and desires interfering with your ability to function in your daily life?

If your kinks or your expression thereof are having a negative impact on your daily functioning and/or are causing harm to real beings, that's certainly a cause for concern.

Otherwise, while you may still want to be _discreet_ and_ private_ when it comes to your kinks, feeling ashamed of them will do you no good--quite the opposite, in fact--and certainly won't cause your feelings to go away.

After spending more time in the fandom, you may find (I hope) that your proclivities are positively vanilla compared to some of the other absolutely bonkers-bizarro shit some people are into---and I say that with love (mostly).


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## 1234554321 (Jan 27, 2019)

Troj said:


> Otherwise, while you may still want to be _discreet_ and_ private_ when it comes to your kinks, feeling ashamed of them will do you no good--quite the opposite, in fact--and certainly won't cause your feelings to go away.


What do you think is a good way to get rid of that sensation of shame? What mindset do you suggest adopting? I'm uh asking for a friend: _his_ kinks don't hurt anyone but _he_ still feels it just ain't right. If you don't have an answer that's cool, just thought I'd ask since you usually bring up pretty decent insight


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## Troj (Jan 27, 2019)

Excellent question!

Guilt is the feeling that you did a bad thing. Shame is the feeling that you _are_ a bad thing.

Shame is associated with a laundry list of negative health effects and life outcomes. 

Generally, I think the best way to combat shame is to do as follows:

1) Acknowledge and name the feelings you're having. 
2) Reach out to _at least_ one person you trust for support, affirmation, and "reality-checking."
3) Strive to separate your "doing" from your "being." Train yourself to get into the habit of judging your choices and actions _without_ judging yourself as a whole being. When you find yourself globally judging yourself, reshape the "script" into one that focuses on your actions. So, "I did a dumb thing," rather than "I am a dumb person."
4) Remember that you are human, and that humans have flaws and make mistakes. What counts is learning from your mistakes, and trying to be better than you were the day before.
5) Try to trace your feelings and thoughts of shame back to their original source. Who or what first gave you the impression that certain things were inherently shameful, and/or made you believe that you were fundamentally shameful?
6) Therapy! Therapy can help you to unpack all of this.


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## 1234554321 (Jan 27, 2019)

Troj said:


> -snip-


Roger dodger, thank you for your response Troj, I'll try to make the most of it. You've always been one of the wiser people around here


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## foussiremix (Jan 28, 2019)

As long as you don't vore people in RL, you don't have to be ashamed.


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## Fallowfox (Jan 28, 2019)

quoting_mungo said:


> Except that line wasn't drawn for moral guardian type reasons (on FA's part), nor has it always been in place. That line was drawn because the content was interfering with the site's funding. (Now, if you post murder porn and talk in the description about how you want to make it more than a fantasy, that'd get you in trouble right quick under COC.)
> 
> With all the crime shows out there,* it's not even as though there's much of an argument to be made that depictions of murder are a legal gray area* (which would be the other possible reason I could see for FA to consider banning it).
> 
> I'm all for making extreme kinks easier to avoid for people who aren't into them; I just don't think telling people "your kink is a crime waiting to happen" is going to do more good than harm.



There's a difference between watching James bond shoot the bad guy, and somebody masturbating to a drawing of women having their heads chopped off. :S


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## Troj (Jan 28, 2019)

The devil really is in the details.

Certainly, I raise an eyebrow at people who genuinely delight in _realistic_ (versus surreal or cartoonish) violence against _innocent_ people, where they imagine themselves in the role of either a _voyeur_ or, especially, the _perpetrator._


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## Glairdron (Jan 28, 2019)

Others have talked about consent and legality, and I agree with what they've said, so I won't repeat that.

What I will say is that it's impossible to do or be anything in this world without opening yourself up to ridicule or dislike from other people. Sure, there are some things that are less accepted than others, but as others have said, as long as you aren't doing harm then basically all it is is other people putting you down to make you feel better. And you'll find people who will do that for whatever. I'm sure you could find some people who would put you down for liking vanilla things as well, though they might be rarer.

Being put down is inescapable, so (again, as long as you're doing no harm) the important thing is to accept yourself, and try to find people you respect and listen to them instead of internet randos. It also helps to hang out with people who don't care about your weird fetishes one way or another, or even people who share them.


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## quoting_mungo (Jan 28, 2019)

Fallowfox said:


> There's a difference between watching James bond shoot the bad guy, and somebody masturbating to a drawing of women having their heads chopped off. :S


I wouldn't exactly call James Bond a crime show; I'm more talking _Dexter_, _Criminal Minds_, things featuring people *actually* getting some form of gratification from hurting others. As long as the drawn people having their heads chopped off don't actually represent real, living, non-consenting people, the only difference far as I'm concerned lies in production value and choice of media. (And if you get into more obscure and vintage productions like _La Bête_, well... you've got at least one considerably more mainstream depiction of gore for gratification than some furry drawings.)

All I'm saying with that is that there's no major legal shadow hanging over snuff art like there is over porn featuring minor characters. That makes a huge difference to a relatively small-budget site/organization like FA. The aim is still to limit artistic expression as little as realistically viable, and has been for a long time.


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## Simo (Jan 28, 2019)

I feel happy about mine, but then, they don't really seem all that extreme. (latex, fursuits, creative bondage, musky/woodsy things, silly pajamas, tickling, wrestling, spanking, a few others). But all in all, these bring a sense of joy to living, and imbue the sexual with the creative and whimsical.

I think, though, to have _some_ sense of taboo actually makes them _more_ exciting; there's that thrill of transgression.

Shame can certainly be debilitating and unhealthy, but kept in proportion, can also make things more exciting. I mean, after all, that's why I like a BAD FOX


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## Jax Cottontail (Feb 19, 2019)

There are 7 billion people on this planet and all of them are into something that's bizzare or different. Just remember the next time that someone is making fun of you they're either into something even weirder or their life is just that boring. Either case their opinion means nothing, just keep doing you and forget about everyone else opinion.


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## insertgenericnamehere1 (Feb 19, 2019)

Okay so I'm new here with legit 0 friends. Why one will ask? For me, yeah it's because of my fetishes and my sexual interest in this community. =/ I only recently decided after years of watching fuck it I'd like to find friends or a relationship with someone who shares them. But this has to do with accepting my flaws and imperfections etc. There's a lot of shit out in this world that is very fucked up, beyond having an attraction to anthropomorphic characters, considering the many fetishes that different people have. Again why? Because we are all humans, and humans are imperfect and that is okay!

(yes this applies to those who believe way too strongly in their fursonas! You are human and included in this no matter how much you wish you were not human or whatever) 

Humans are a one of a kind species that kills our own kin in war genocide, basically any fucked up thing you know from world history. However we also shows extreme forms of altruism. Really I don't need to name the countless fucked up things we do if you read a book or 2. It does not mean we need to go around and tell everyone about our problems, dark sides, fetishes etc. and expect the world to cater to us. It just means that it is okay to be who you are and don't give a fuck what others think, even if that is painful. Don't want to sound depressing but sorry but liberation is painful =/

Again as someone new here (though I've observed for a while) unfortunately many in this community are in some serious denial and clearly have issues with insecurity and self perception. Don't let it bring you down in the real world, or in any other place! 

Hope this post may bring me some potential friends here lmfao =p


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## insertgenericnamehere1 (Feb 19, 2019)

Pinky said:


> Nothing wrong with having a fetish as long as you don't shove it in people's faces/being weird about it. Heck some might argue that furries are a fetish.


It is a fetish in all reality XD


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## Fruitythebeetle (Feb 20, 2019)

I tend to like my gore to be over the top and crazy. things that hit close to home ar every unsettling and gross.


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## CommonBard (Feb 20, 2019)

I understand to an extent. For me, the range of reflective and reflexive thoughts on the subject has been wide. At its worst, I've thought to myself, "Am I a broken person?" Even going so far as, "Am I less than a person for being this way?"At best its, "I've found something out about myself." That's the best I usually muster, its hard for me to elevate this topic into a positive light. The temptation is to ask, "Why can't I just be normal?" Even though this question is the least productive, its the one that came up a lot when I had to understand my kinks. To an extent, I still think these questions out to no end. 

I have no good motivational advice, except that, you can accept yourself. Then, move onto the bigger questions of, "how to I work with who I am instead of trying to be who I'm not?"


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## ZeroVoidTime (Feb 20, 2019)

quoting_mungo said:


> I wouldn't exactly call James Bond a crime show; I'm more talking _Dexter_, _Criminal Minds_, things featuring people *actually* getting some form of gratification from hurting others. As long as the drawn people having their heads chopped off don't actually represent real, living, non-consenting people, the only difference far as I'm concerned lies in production value and choice of media. (And if you get into more obscure and vintage productions like _La Bête_, well... you've got at least one considerably more mainstream depiction of gore for gratification than some furry drawings.)
> 
> All I'm saying with that is that there's no major legal shadow hanging over snuff art like there is over porn featuring minor characters. That makes a huge difference to a relatively small-budget site/organization like FA. The aim is still to limit artistic expression as little as realistically viable, and has been for a long time.


I prefer actual real cases shown on Forensic Files as it shows how killers act in real life and in my opinion gives a chilling insight to their motives.


Simo said:


> latex


I'm allergic to latex as I found out after my liver surgery so definitely not a fetish of mine.......


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## quoting_mungo (Feb 20, 2019)

I actually have a notebook where I'll write about three pages longhand now and again (aiming for once a week but have had some inactive periods on and off) musing about assorted sex- and kink-related topics. I've found it to be remarkably good for giving me insights into the mechanics of my own kinks, and my own relationship with sex. It may not be for everyone, but if you feel you have some working through things to do in regards to your sexuality, I'd say it's worth a try.



ZeroVoidTime said:


> I prefer actual real cases shown on Forensic Files as it shows how killers act in real life and in my opinion gives a chilling insight to their motives.


I'll watch both quite happily (recently been on an _Encounters with Evil_ kick along with rewatching _Criminal Minds_), but I don't consider documentary crime shows to have the commonality with snuff art that dramatic shows created purely for entertainment value do, which was the focus of the comparison. They're different beasts.


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## Devo Waterfowl (Feb 20, 2019)

Seriously that is kind of the Nella and my cases because when it comes to fetishes there is everyone has their set and finish but with yours it seems kind of normal. Seriously here in New York most women would want a guy that is muscular to a degree where they have the tires in for sick or just one if I get it that is able to lift his weight. your fetishes are truly nella compared to my own.


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## Sagt (Feb 21, 2019)

CommonBard said:


> I have no good motivational advice, except that, you can accept yourself. Then, move onto the bigger questions of, "how to I work with who I am instead of trying to be who I'm not?"


Actually, I feel like that's the only convincing thing that's been said in the thread so far.


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## churio (Feb 21, 2019)

Foot fetishes and all the stuff you listed are fine. Nothing wrong with it. Of course I doubt it's something you'd bring up in casual conversation with a stranger but in the online world none of this is worth being ashamed of. You keep on with that and know that what you do is A-ok.


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## insertgenericnamehere1 (Feb 21, 2019)

Fruitythebeetle said:


> I tend to like my gore to be over the top and crazy. things that hit close to home ar every unsettling and gross.


Well that's kinda fucked. Sorry for you. Its all good though. Don't expect that most people are going to look at that normally. Hard truth I can't look at it normally. But that's okay, as I said who gives a fuck, and things I look at aren't normal, a lot of shit in this world isn't normal. I accept this and the abnormal. Most people here are 'abnormal' and accept abnormal. Though, most people won't accept abnormal and again that's okay. It's between you and yourself. Simple as that. Self acceptance.


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## KEWB89 (Feb 21, 2019)

Well if I didn't start becoming active in this community at the right time...

I guess I'll go into my story a little bit because I think I may be able to offer you some insight from another person's perspective. I've been a furry since adolescence and am currently 29. Literally this week is when I finally started to become comfortable with this aspect of myself. I never really interacted with the community. NEVER talked about it with ANYONE really. But it was always there. And while I had no problem with other furries, I HATED that I was into it personally. I just wanted to be "normal." I tried walking away from it. I tried really hard to change. I couldn't. It's pretty much ingrained in me. I've dealt with severe depression in the past and other more personal issues that probably aren't appropriate to discuss on this forum. Being a furry wasn't really the root of those problems, but in my honest opinion the self-hatred I had built up over the years for refusing to accept it was a large part of my personal issues. So when I finally came to the realization that I was never going to change, I basically had two options. Either continue to live in denial and wallow in self-loathing and never be happy with myself, or learn to accept it and be comfortable with it. It's okay to be different. It's okay to have different desires from everybody else as long as it's legal and you're not hurting anybody. If you've been fighting this part of yourself, surrender the fight. Accept it. I've lived in such excruciating emotional pain for literally most of my life and if this helps you, or anyone who reads it for that matter, to avoid going through what I went through, then the struggle was worth it.


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## insertgenericnamehere1 (Feb 21, 2019)

KEWB89 said:


> Well if I didn't start becoming active in this community at the right time...
> 
> I guess I'll go into my story a little bit because I think I may be able to offer you some insight from another person's perspective. I've been a furry since adolescence and am currently 29. Literally this week is when I finally started to become comfortable with this aspect of myself. I never really interacted with the community. NEVER talked about it with ANYONE really. But it was always there. And while I had no problem with other furries, I HATED that I was into it personally. I just wanted to be "normal." I tried walking away from it. I tried really hard to change. I couldn't. It's pretty much ingrained in me. I've dealt with severe depression in the past and other more personal issues that probably aren't appropriate to discuss on this forum. Being a furry wasn't really the root of those problems, but in my honest opinion the self-hatred I had built up over the years for refusing to accept it was a large part of my personal issues. So when I finally came to the realization that I was never going to change, I basically had two options. Either continue to live in denial and wallow in self-loathing and never be happy with myself, or learn to accept it and be comfortable with it. It's okay to be different. It's okay to have different desires from everybody else as long as it's legal and you're not hurting anybody. If you've been fighting this part of yourself, surrender the fight. Accept it. I've lived in such excruciating emotional pain for literally most of my life and if this helps you, or anyone who reads it for that matter, to avoid going through what I went through, then the struggle was worth it.


Yup. Exactly what I realized. Doesn't mean we need to engage full on with all the crazy shit. For me I just came online as it was about self acceptance. I'm generally pretty good about this kind of stuff except this one aspect. I really don't need to be mentally smacking myself over something this stupid. Time for me to let it go integrate it. Though I also know to keep this side of my life private, and not force it on others. Why bring my problems onto others if I don't want to deal with their's. Honestly, just doing this I'm a lot happier. You probably made a good choice.


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## KEWB89 (Feb 21, 2019)

insertgenericnamehere1 said:


> Yup. Exactly what I realized. Doesn't mean we need to engage full on with all the crazy shit. For me I just came online as it was about self acceptance. I'm generally pretty good about this kind of stuff except this one aspect. I really don't need to be mentally smacking myself over something this stupid. Time for me to let it go integrate it. Though I also know to keep this side of my life private, and not force it on others. Why bring my problems onto others if I don't want to deal with their's. Honestly, just doing this I'm a lot happier. You probably made a good choice.



I mean, I DID let a few people know (just some close friends and family, who were all supportive), because it was eating me up inside and I had to talk about it. I didn't go into all the nitty gritty details or anything. The discussions were more about the personal issues that were rooted in me not being okay with myself due to the fetish, as well as coming to the realization that I had to accept that it's a part of who I am. But yeah, overall it's something I'm going to keep mostly private, DEFINITELY not forcing it on others. It's really nobody else's business, but in my particular situation, talking about it with extremely trusted people definitely helped me. Overall that's up to the individual. I can't say what worked for me will work for anyone else. All I can do is offer my story and perspective.


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## TerabyteThePrimagen (Feb 21, 2019)

Depression  That feeling you get when life  got you down
And you feel like you want to get hit by a car
Or tie a noose and die and hope you get forgotten like the homework of a irresponsible student
Unfinished and worthless is what you feel
You say it's okay* you’re okay* everything is okay nothing is wrong is what you hope
Even though okay is *not* true
twinkle twinkle little star i wana curl up in a ball 
hope to hide of shame and die
hide inside my ball and cry

YOU THEN REALIZE YOUR BEING BULLIED BY DEFAULTS *default dance* 

i had this poem on google docs and it wasn't done  right now its cringy it also needs to be heavily revised my friend added the default part im so proud of her i also recently became a furry pressured that my friends didn't like them seeing how depression affected me too a little


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## CommonBard (Feb 21, 2019)

TerabyteThePrimagen said:


> YOU THEN REALIZE YOUR BEING BULLIED BY DEFAULTS


okay maybe that line doesn't need all caps, but that line is freaking deep... bullied by defaults. I'mma have to start using that in real life.


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## insertgenericnamehere1 (Feb 21, 2019)

KEWB89 said:


> I mean, I DID let a few people know (just some close friends and family, who were all supportive), because it was eating me up inside and I had to talk about it. I didn't go into all the nitty gritty details or anything. The discussions were more about the personal issues that were rooted in me not being okay with myself due to the fetish, as well as coming to the realization that I had to accept that it's a part of who I am. But yeah, overall it's something I'm going to keep mostly private, DEFINITELY not forcing it on others. It's really nobody else's business, but in my particular situation, talking about it with extremely trusted people definitely helped me. Overall that's up to the individual. I can't say what worked for me will work for anyone else. All I can do is offer my story and perspective.


Yeah. That's mostly why I came on here. I just felt it would be better to engage here about my urges, or whatever we can call them. Others who can at least understand them etc. It was deep down killing me to not do anything and repress things. Psychologically speaking it's not healthy and I've known this for a few years. That's why now I'm thinking fuck it let's just engage. But I do see furries esp. in the US trying to normalize everything. I think that's a very bad and dangerous idea. I myself can personally accept who I am etc. But I don't think it's smart to project this fetish  mainstream. (In all reality being a furry is a fetish)  Btw I wasn't trying to accuse you of doing so. I am only worried myself what kind of shit will come if it gets too mainstream. As you said it's no one else's business and that's probably the right approach to this.


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## NuclearSlayer52 (Feb 21, 2019)

you *dont *control what youre into, you *do *control what youre involved with


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## CommonBard (Feb 21, 2019)

One struggle is this.

Suppose I accept who I _currently_ am. Then I find out something about myself. How much time should I spend figuring out if this _new _person is worth being or not. It's not that I just accept myself once then I'm done. For those not secure in their self worth (like me, to a small extent) it's an ongoing effort. It takes work, It takes conscious thought. One might not be practiced in saying, "I can accept me. I can accept me tomorrow."


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## insertgenericnamehere1 (Feb 21, 2019)

CommonBard said:


> One struggle is this.
> 
> Suppose I accept who I _currently_ am. Then I find out something about myself. How much time should I spend figuring out if this _new _person is worth being or not. It's not that I just accept myself once then I'm done. For those not secure in their self worth (like me, to a small extent) it's an ongoing effort. It takes work, It takes conscious thought. One might not be practiced in saying, "I can accept me. I can accept me tomorrow."


It's a constant journey and struggle m8. You will find out one thing than another and it will probably continue your entire life. Don't focus on the end goal. Just enjoy what you discover and try and live the moment. Look you may have discovered furries. But I can assure your furries don't hold the keys to life XD
Good luck m8, and enjoy your journey.


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## KEWB89 (Feb 21, 2019)

insertgenericnamehere1 said:


> Yeah. That's mostly why I came on here. I just felt it would be better to engage here about my urges, or whatever we can call them. Others who can at least understand them etc. It was deep down killing me to not do anything and repress things. Psychologically speaking it's not healthy and I've known this for a few years. That's why now I'm thinking fuck it let's just engage. But I do see furries esp. in the US trying to normalize everything. I think that's a very bad and dangerous idea. I myself can personally accept who I am etc. But I don't think it's smart to project this fetish  mainstream. (In all reality being a furry is a fetish)  Btw I wasn't trying to accuse you of doing so. I am only worried myself what kind of shit will come if it gets too mainstream. As you said it's no one else's business and that's probably the right approach to this.


Yeah, I definitely agree. Honestly I don't really see the point in pushing your own sexual desires onto others in general. I get we all want to be accepted, but fortunately with the internet it's easy to find people with the same kinks as you. There's no need really to try to force it into being normalized in society.


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## NuclearSlayer52 (Feb 22, 2019)

its like getting poisoned by stuff... certain things need to be taken at a slow speed and others a high speed for them to be still safe cause even water can poison you by drinking too much and even drinking uranium is safe if you have 0.03 milliliters per liter of water apparently


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## Spicy Cheeto (Feb 22, 2019)

I’m going to blunt. I think everybody is ashamed of their sexual fantasies and fetishes to some extent. For example, if you view a catalog of lingerie you’ll see an unsettling amount of school girl uniform costumes (werids me out to be honest). There are wives out there that dress up as “sexy” school girls while their husbands dress up as teachers before they get it on. Would they tell the people they know what they dress up as before they do the deed? Of course not XD. Nobody wants to know that and its pretty weird from an outside perspective. That being said, as long as they aren’t hurting anyone and it’s between two adults, I don’t judge them as human beings. Some people like to role play and live out their fantasies because it makes them forget their current life for a bit. Do I want to know every detail about it in the real world? Not really. So that amount of shame is good. You’re suppose to have a bit of shame because if you didn’t, you would randomly start telling people your fetishes in the real world with real people you interact with on a daily basis. Don’t feel bad about talking about in the online world but I recommend not telling your family or friends.


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## KEWB89 (Feb 22, 2019)

Spicy Cheeto said:


> I’m going to blunt. I think everybody is ashamed of their sexual fantasies and fetishes to some extent. For example, if you view a catalog of lingerie you’ll see an unsettling amount of school girl uniform costumes (werids me out to be honest). There are wives out there that dress up as “sexy” school girls while their husbands dress up as teachers before they get it on. Would they tell the people they know what they dress up as before they do the deed? Of course not XD. Nobody wants to know that and its pretty weird from an outside perspective. That being said, as long as they aren’t hurting anyone and it’s between two adults, I don’t judge them as human beings. Some people like to role play and live out their fantasies because it makes them forget their current life for a bit. Do I want to know every detail about it in the real world? Not really. So that amount of shame is good. You’re suppose to have a bit of shame because if you didn’t, you would randomly start telling people your fetishes in the real world with real people you interact with on a daily basis. Don’t feel bad about talking about in the online world but I recommend not telling your family or friends.



You do make a good point, and it's something I personally considered very carefully before I told anybody. The thing is though, honesty is a big thing for me as well. I think ahead to things like...say for example I end up in a relationship with someone I met on a furry dating site or at a convention or something along those lines. Then my mom asks how we met. Do I flat-out lie to her? No. Not my style and that would just cause more problems down the line if the truth was eventually found out. I'd rather be upfront about it as soon as possible with people who are going to find out about it sooner or later anyway. That way they have time to grow to understand and accept it a little more. I feel that approach would lessen the overall "shock" versus the hypothetical example of it all coming out at once when they realize that not only am I into this, but my partner is as well.


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## quoting_mungo (Feb 22, 2019)

Spicy Cheeto said:


> Not really. So that amount of shame is good. You’re suppose to have a bit of shame because if you didn’t, you would randomly start telling people your fetishes in the real world with real people you interact with on a daily basis. Don’t feel bad about talking about in the online world but I recommend not telling your family or friends.


Shame and having a sense of decorum and what's appropriate subjects of discussion for a given venue are not the same thing. There are many factors involved in deciding whether something should be shared in current company, and shame is only one (potential) factor. I'm not ashamed of my body piercings, but I'm not going to bring them up at a traditional wedding reception or something. 



insertgenericnamehere1 said:


> But I don't think it's smart to project this fetish mainstream. (In all reality being a furry is a fetish)


That's a dangerous generalization to make. For some people, it might be. For others, it's a kink. For yet others it's neither, and asserting that being part of furry fandom automatically means they need anthropomorphism to achieve sexual gratification is kinda... rude. 

Anthropomorphic animals have been part of mainstream culture for a long time; it's more a matter of parallel development of mainstream and non-mainstream anthro content with the odd bit of cross-pollination happening every so often. The notion that anthropomorphism isn't already well established in mainstream culture is a... bit of a fandom myth, for lack of better words.


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## Spicy Cheeto (Feb 22, 2019)

quoting_mungo said:


> Shame and having a sense of decorum and what's appropriate subjects of discussion for a given venue are not the same thing. There are many factors involved in deciding whether something should be shared in current company, and shame is only one (potential) factor. I'm not ashamed of my body piercings, but I'm not going to bring them up at a traditional wedding reception or something.
> 
> 
> That's a dangerous generalization to make. For some people, it might be. For others, it's a kink. For yet others it's neither, and asserting that being part of furry fandom automatically means they need anthropomorphism to achieve sexual gratification is kinda... rude.
> ...



The definition of shame:a painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior. Fetishes in many respects are considered foolish to the outside world which is why they are labeled taboo, and which is why I used the word shame. So yes having decorum and shame can happen with fetishes and when it comes to sharing it with your friends and family, you should have a bit of both and not share it. It’s only natural. However they shouldn’t have shame with the fetish itself, only for pushing it onto others.


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## Spicy Cheeto (Feb 22, 2019)

KEWB89 said:


> You do make a good point, and it's something I personally considered very carefully before I told anybody. The thing is though, honesty is a big thing for me as well. I think ahead to things like...say for example I end up in a relationship with someone I met on a furry dating site or at a convention or something along those lines. Then my mom asks how we met. Do I flat-out lie to her? No. Not my style and that would just cause more problems down the line if the truth was eventually found out. I'd rather be upfront about it as soon as possible with people who are going to find out about it sooner or later anyway. That way they have time to grow to understand and accept it a little more. I feel that approach would lessen the overall "shock" versus the hypothetical example of it all coming out at once when they realize that not only am I into this, but my partner is as well.



You shouldn’t lie but you should be a bit discrete.If you ever get that question “where did you meet” you could give a half truth and not elaborate like “oh at a online meetup ect..”. I’d rather my son/daughter lie to me than learn their fetishes. I think most parents would rather that XD.


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## horny dragon (Feb 22, 2019)

Fallowfox said:


> We risk straying into content that may not be PG13 here. x3
> 
> Being a kinkster isn't something to be ashamed of, if you're not doing anybody any harm. So don't beat yourself up about it. (unless you're a masochist ;D )


I was taught that all fetishes were of the devil, but it just make me want it more, until it was out of control. I was like this to until three months ago and I am glad that i changed myself. I feel a lot better, once i did so. Its best in my opinion to allow yourself to express yourself, even if you find out that you don't like something. At least, now you know. We are furies and we have a bad rap as all being sex crazed perverts. I have old friends of mine that would treat meas if was demon possessed. 
I just want to read athro comics, and pics, talk to my furry kind, and be able to yiff to whatever makes me feel good. My head is not spinning in 360 degrees.


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## horny dragon (Feb 22, 2019)

Ricky Sixgun said:


> Im a Vore fan... Not many like me when I bring it up. Soft Vore is my preference cuz I like bellies. Your normal compared to me


I have a pregnant fetish, since I was a teenager. I think that a lot of pregnant woman are sexy fully dress or not. I feel gross when see a hot pregger, while i am out and about.
I am not going to do anything to them, but I would feel like a pervert if they would pick up on my interests. If i was a millionaire, I would have thirty plus kids, that I would raise. I would have as much biological kids as my wife would be comfortable with, and then adopt the rest.  I love kids that much, wither of blood or not. I want to have seven kids once I get married. I don't know how these two desire are tied together.


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## KEWB89 (Feb 22, 2019)

Spicy Cheeto said:


> You shouldn’t lie but you should be a bit discrete.If you ever get that question “where did you meet” you could give a half truth and not elaborate like “oh at a online meetup ect..”. I’d rather my son/daughter lie to me than learn their fetishes. I think most parents would rather that XD.


I suppose that's pretty fair. It's just my mother is kinda the type to prod a bit. "Oh! What website did you meet at?" etc. I just feel as awkward as the talk might be, it has the potential to be far more awkward if I don't disclose the information in a more appropriate setting. Not saying that's the best way to go about it for everyone, but for my particular situation it might be. Maybe I'll wait it out a bit and cross that bridge closer to when I come to it, but I don't want it to become an unavoidable topic in a public setting or around others.


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## Illuminaughty (Feb 22, 2019)

Honestly, all of these are pretty harmless and most of these aren't even that uncommon, even amongst "regular" people. A _lot_ of people have a thing for latex, tentacles or teratophilia, and there are plenty of people who prefer larger people, which could be a facet of the "weight gain" interest. It's not too difficult to make the connection between most of these.

But bottom line, it's really nobody's business to judge you on it. Almost everyone has their own weird "thing" and if  they have the audacity to mock someone else, they either haven't found their weird "thing", or they just want to feel better by making fun of someone else. Either way, everyone's living in a glass house and tossing stones just makes a mess.


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## quoting_mungo (Feb 23, 2019)

Spicy Cheeto said:


> So yes having decorum and shame can happen with fetishes and when it comes to sharing it with your friends and family, you should have a bit of both and not share it. It’s only natural. However they shouldn’t have shame with the fetish itself, only for pushing it onto others.


Shame doesn't need to be part of that equation at all, though. It's not something it generally does any good to encourage people to feel. Decorum is perfectly adequate to accomplish the same thing, and without causing the individual (di)stress.



Spicy Cheeto said:


> You shouldn’t lie but you should be a bit discrete.If you ever get that question “where did you meet” you could give a half truth and not elaborate like “oh at a online meetup ect..”. I’d rather my son/daughter lie to me than learn their fetishes. I think most parents would rather that XD.


Discretion about enjoying furry content is hardly motivated. By treating it as shameful you only encourage others to see it that way. You wouldn't (well, most people wouldn't) be all shifty about being interested in model trains or something.


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## KEWB89 (Feb 23, 2019)

So I guess a little bit of an update on my situation if anyone's interested. Only person I really had left that I was planning on telling was my mom. This discussion did get me thinking about whether or not it was really necessary to tell her for reasons I and others have discussed above. I talked it over with my dad (who I had already told about this stuff, so no worries there. he was very accepting) just to get another perspective on the whole situation. He actually made a pretty good point. Say I meet someone as I mentioned before, and SHE'S not comfortable with this stuff being known to my parents or whoever. I definitely wouldn't want to make her uncomfortable either. Whether or not it becomes necessary to let my mom know about it before things get too awkward depends largely on specifically who I meet. So I guess I've decided as I suggested before, I'm going to cross that bridge when I come to it. The important thing is if and when I DO decide to tell her that I make sure I sit her down in an appropriate setting for the discussion. So there you go. I came into this thread to help someone else with their situation and ended up getting quite a bit of help out of the discussion myself, so that's pretty awesome. Yall are some good people.


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## Spicy Cheeto (Feb 23, 2019)

quoting_mungo said:


> Shame doesn't need to be part of that equation at all, though. It's not something it generally does any good to encourage people to feel. Decorum is perfectly adequate to accomplish the same thing, and without causing the individual (di)stress.
> 
> 
> Discretion about enjoying furry content is hardly motivated. By treating it as shameful you only encourage others to see it that way. You wouldn't (well, most people wouldn't) be all shifty about being interested in model trains or something.



It could just be that have we have different cultural differences that influence our ways of thinking or because perhaps I have a different way of thinking myself. I totally think a bit of shame is healthy and that most people have it naturally.Shame causes restraint or caution which can be beneficial for things like dangerous fetishes that could actually injure someone if people replicate it in real life. When it comes to randomly talking about fetishes to your family and friends, you should have both restraint and caution which stems from a bit of shame and discretion. It’s difficult to explain (I’m not the best with words).

Also, comparing fetsihes to liking trains is not relatable from my point of view. Sex and liking trains as a hobby are completely different things. Fetishes will most likely effect two people, not one, if the person who has the fetish is in a relationship. A person who likes trains doesn’t usually get their partner involved with liking trains.

So in closing, I think discretion is needed too but we naturally have an ounce of shame as well. If we didn’t have that small ounce, we would lose the very thing that makes us hold caution naturally. This is coming from someone who draws all sorts of fetish porn XD. I really don’t judge.


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## Spicy Cheeto (Feb 23, 2019)

KEWB89 said:


> So I guess a little bit of an update on my situation if anyone's interested. Only person I really had left that I was planning on telling was my mom. This discussion did get me thinking about whether or not it was really necessary to tell her for reasons I and others have discussed above. I talked it over with my dad (who I had already told about this stuff, so no worries there. he was very accepting) just to get another perspective on the whole situation. He actually made a pretty good point. Say I meet someone as I mentioned before, and SHE'S not comfortable with this stuff being known to my parents or whoever. I definitely wouldn't want to make her uncomfortable either. Whether or not it becomes necessary to let my mom know about it before things get too awkward depends largely on specifically who I meet. So I guess I've decided as I suggested before, I'm going to cross that bridge when I come to it. The important thing is if and when I DO decide to tell her that I make sure I sit her down in an appropriate setting for the discussion. So there you go. I came into this thread to help someone else with their situation and ended up getting quite a bit of help out of the discussion myself, so that's pretty awesome. Yall are some good people.



Your Dad is very smart. It all stems from your partner’s decision on whether or not they want to discuss something like that. I’m telling you, most wont want to talk about sex with their mother in law. It’s akward XD


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## quoting_mungo (Feb 23, 2019)

Spicy Cheeto said:


> Also, comparing fetsihes to liking trains is not relatable from my point of view. Sex and liking trains as a hobby are completely different things. Fetishes will most likely effect two people, not one, if the person who has the fetish is in a relationship. A person who likes trains doesn’t usually get their partner involved with liking trains.


Except I wasn't comparing fetishes _or_ kinks to liking model trains. I was comparing an interest in anthropomorphic animals to an interest in model trains. You're the one conflating "furry" and "fetish" which far as I'm concerned is pretty damn presumptive. Like, no, you don't need to discuss your kinks (which, let's be honest, is what most mentions of "fetish" in this thread are actually talking about) with your parents, but that has zero bearing on the hypothetical situation of having met one's partner on a furry dating site or at a furry con, which you referenced when urging discretion.

(And most people in long-term relationships do eventually get their partners involved with many of their major hobbies to some degree. It may not lead to the other person developing their own interest in the hobby, but it's often enough to at least bring them to the point of figuratively cheering from the sidelines. Which is about the level of involvement, enjoyment-wise, many people have of indulging their partner's interest in a kink they don't share. Just as a sidenote.)


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## rabbitears (Feb 23, 2019)

I haven't read through the whole thread (so. many. replies. >.<) but for me, kinks and fetishes are a fun and rewarding way to explore various desires, experiment with different sensations, and even work through traumas! So long as everyone involved is informed, consents, and ya know your safety measures, there's nothing to be ashamed of!

Some things can definitely be weird, and not everyone is going to understand, but that doesn't mean that your fetishes are wrong or that you are bad for liking them. Even if you think you're the only one so dark and depraved, I can promise you nothing is as niche as you think!


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## KEWB89 (Feb 23, 2019)

quoting_mungo said:


> Except I wasn't comparing fetishes _or_ kinks to liking model trains. I was comparing an interest in anthropomorphic animals to an interest in model trains. You're the one conflating "furry" and "fetish" which far as I'm concerned is pretty damn presumptive. Like, no, you don't need to discuss your kinks (which, let's be honest, is what most mentions of "fetish" in this thread are actually talking about) with your parents, but that has zero bearing on the hypothetical situation of having met one's partner on a furry dating site or at a furry con, which you referenced when urging discretion.
> 
> (And most people in long-term relationships do eventually get their partners involved with many of their major hobbies to some degree. It may not lead to the other person developing their own interest in the hobby, but it's often enough to at least bring them to the point of figuratively cheering from the sidelines. Which is about the level of involvement, enjoyment-wise, many people have of indulging their partner's interest in a kink they don't share. Just as a sidenote.)


To be fair, he was replying to me (at least as far as the dating site and con examples are concerned) and I think I implied pretty heavily that I WAS referring more towards the "fetish" side of things. But you bring up a good point though. I'm pretty new to interacting with the community and I've seen that while the more "adult" side of things definitely pertains to my interests (and many others as well), it's not the only aspect of this community. If the topic was ever forced to come up, I could at least figure out a way to...I guess maybe dodge the subject of the fetish and just go into the more appropriate aspects of the fandom. Maybe it seems like I can't let this subject go, and maybe I'm low-key worrying a little too much about it, but this discussion has definitely been helpful at least to me.


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## TabbyTomCat (Feb 23, 2019)

horny dragon said:


> I have a pregnant fetish, since I was a teenager. I think that a lot of pregnant woman are sexy fully dress or not. I feel gross when see a hot pregger, while i am out and about.
> I am not going to do anything to them, but I would feel like a pervert if they would pick up on my interests. If i was a millionaire, I would have thirty plus kids, that I would raise. I would have as much biological kids as my wife would be comfortable with, and then adopt the rest.  I love kids that much, wither of blood or not. I want to have seven kids once I get married. I don't know how these two desire are tied together.



You will change your mind once you experience the first child. It's not fun, it's hard and exhausting to care about small kids.
Your fetish may get cured if you are unlucky enough to be the only one around when the birth comes so you have to help with getting that small slime covered creature out of vagina. I wish I could forget that experience.


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## quoting_mungo (Feb 23, 2019)

KEWB89 said:


> To be fair, he was replying to me (at least as far as the dating site and con examples are concerned) and I think I implied pretty heavily that I WAS referring more towards the "fetish" side of things. But you bring up a good point though. I'm pretty new to interacting with the community and I've seen that while the more "adult" side of things definitely pertains to my interests (and many others as well), it's not the only aspect of this community. If the topic was ever forced to come up, I could at least figure out a way to...I guess maybe dodge the subject of the fetish and just go into the more appropriate aspects of the fandom. Maybe it seems like I can't let this subject go, and maybe I'm low-key worrying a little too much about it, but this discussion has definitely been helpful at least to me.


That is fair; I would say when it comes to the point of, as in your example, meeting a partner through the fandom, that's pertaining more to the non-adult aspects of the community, which is a part of why I reacted. While it's certainly possible to meet a partner through a common interest in a kink, and I guess it would be pretty awkward to explain to your parents having met your partner through FetLife, especially cons are... Let's just say I would not by any stretch consider any furry con I've ever been to or heard about a "kink space."

My parents know I'm furry, my mother recognizes my fursona (which _can_ sometimes get a bit awkward), and they know I draw smut much as I may have tried not to expose them to that portion of my art. My dad's attitude regarding drawing porn is pretty much "you can earn money doing that? Great, entrepreneurship!" Not making a big deal of it is quite honestly the best way to get a benign response to having an interest in furries. If you act as though it's shameful, you'll prime people to respond as though it is. Anthropomorphism is a part of our (as in humans) storytelling tradition, and has arisen independently as a theme in one way or another in multiple cultures. While I do think furry as a fandom is sufficiently different in character from historical examples of anthropomorphism that it's highly questionable to refer to any of that cultural heritage as "furry," it doesn't change the fact that mixing human and animal traits is something people have been doing since significantly before modern history.

That's why I draw up the parallel to liking model trains (or any other benign hobby your (gen) parents wouldn't bat an eye at); if you allow your relationship with furry fandom to be as relaxed as your relationship with other hobbies, that's going to make it easier to get a relaxed response from other people when/if your interest in furry content comes up. In my case I think (I can't even remember, it wasn't something I made a point of) my parents found out through my art. I never sat them down and told them "Hey, I'm into this" any more than I'd sit them down to let them know I'm a fan of fantasy fiction or crime drama or video games, or that I enjoy crafting. That's not how people find out about your hobbies, unless you're doing one of those awkward "introduce yourself" exercises that mostly come up in schools. 

If you want to ease your parents into your interest in furry content, sit down and watch _Zootopia_ (or some other mainstream film featuring anthropomorphic animals) with your mom. Print out some nice (clean, though this is one of those things I would say comes down to decorum) furry art you like to hang on your wall. In general, think about how they'd find out if you got into some random other hobby, and let that carry over to furry fandom.

In general, internalizing the idea that furry content is shameful and that one's interest in it needs to be hidden is just going to cause the vast majority of furries trouble. There are isolated examples where expecting a negative reaction may be justified, but that needs to be built on more solid foundations than "I heard some people think furries are weird" - which is essentially what most fear of "coming out" as a furry tends to come down to.


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## Devo Waterfowl (Feb 23, 2019)

Seriously I feel that everybody has their own kinks including when it comes down to the fact that everybody has a fursona and everybody has their own things that get them in the mood or turn them on in a way.
I have multiple kinks that I like and things that turn me on as most people would think it's weird but I try to keep to myself until I start messing with us or a partner that is OK with said kinks and not just force it on someone. 

 Not everyone's kinks are different but yours is simply vanilla in my case because you do not have to be sexually interested in someone that isn't your type or being sexually interested in the same thing as the other people are just to make sure that you're not going to over do it because there is some weird shit out in this world.


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## Spicy Cheeto (Feb 23, 2019)

quoting_mungo said:


> Except I wasn't comparing fetishes _or_ kinks to liking model trains. I was comparing an interest in anthropomorphic animals to an interest in model trains. You're the one conflating "furry" and "fetish" which far as I'm concerned is pretty damn presumptive. Like, no, you don't need to discuss your kinks (which, let's be honest, is what most mentions of "fetish" in this thread are actually talking about) with your parents, but that has zero bearing on the hypothetical situation of having met one's partner on a furry dating site or at a furry con, which you referenced when urging discretion.
> 
> (And most people in long-term relationships do eventually get their partners involved with many of their major hobbies to some degree. It may not lead to the other person developing their own interest in the hobby, but it's often enough to at least bring them to the point of figuratively cheering from the sidelines. Which is about the level of involvement, enjoyment-wise, many people have of indulging their partner's interest in a kink they don't share. Just as a sidenote.)



I wasn’t saying furry is a fetish. You totally misunderstood what I meant.  I was responding to his question about fetishes and comparing it to the model train example. I didn’t understand why you brought it up (the train) was my point I was trying to make because the post was about fetishes only.Fetishes and hobbies are different so I didn’t get your train analogy. I did not say the furry fandom is a fetish nor did I ever say that XD. I totally did not mean to offend you.


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## quoting_mungo (Feb 23, 2019)

Spicy Cheeto said:


> I wasn’t saying furry is a fetish. You totally misunderstood what I meant.  I was responding to his question about fetishes and comparing it to the model train example. I didn’t understand why you brought it up (the train) was my point I was trying to make because the post was about fetishes only.Fetishes and hobbies are different so I didn’t get your train analogy. I did not say the furry fandom is a fetish nor did I ever say that XD. I totally did not mean to offend you.


Ah; to me "furry dating site" does not exactly scream "fetish," so it made absolutely no sense to me to strongly discourage being specific about the dating site in question. I'll also own that the whole idea of "furry is a fetish for all furries" is a pet peeve of mine and I may have read more into your statement as a result. Apologies for the misunderstanding.

So yeah. My position is that being interested in furry content is in itself about as innocuous as an interest in model trains. Whether you beat off to it (or your toy trains, tbh), yeah, very few families have the sort of atmosphere/relationship where that would be an appropriate subject of conversation.


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## FatalBlackRose (Feb 24, 2019)

Tbh I think a lot of people with be ashamed on what they like- Especially when it kinda comes out of no where. Like if someone didn't really get the appeal or just didn't like a fetish at first, and then after time they get into liking the idea of the fetish. Which isn't bad, but trust me, that happens sometimes, and I certainly don't enjoy it much.


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## Spicy Cheeto (Feb 24, 2019)

quoting_mungo said:


> Ah; to me "furry dating site" does not exactly scream "fetish," so it made absolutely no sense to me to strongly discourage being specific about the dating site in question. I'll also own that the whole idea of "furry is a fetish for all furries" is a pet peeve of mine and I may have read more into your statement as a result. Apologies for the misunderstanding.
> 
> So yeah. My position is that being interested in furry content is in itself about as innocuous as an interest in model trains. Whether you beat off to it (or your toy trains, tbh), yeah, very few families have the sort of atmosphere/relationship where that would be an appropriate subject of conversation.



Dude, I wasn’t talking about the dating site. I was talking about the original post that was on this thread XD. This thread is about fetishes. I was responding to fetishes in general. I thought that the other poster had another fetish that he didn’t want to disclose because this original thread was about fetishes (which was why I thought that guy posted his story here). I did NOT say that the furry dating site was a fetish at all. You are putting words in my mouth. Again, I did not mean to offend you.


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## kekuee (Mar 5, 2019)

The whole nature of fetishes is taboo. Like, people get turned on by _feet_? _Freakishly big dicks_? _[insert x thing that's either not made to be sexual or very outlandishly and extreme_ly sexual_ here]_? Why?

Puberty is an asshole. That's it.

So don't feel too bad about it. I wouldn't go out and say, "HEY EVERYBODY, I'M SEXUALLY ATTRACTED TO _*FEET*_" because that's just stupid, but you don't have to be extremely ashamed by it. It's who you are. You can't change who you are easily.

Also, I feel you because I also have a couple ones that I have no idea how I got them but I do so fuck me.


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