# How're these characters



## WolfoxOkamichan (Jul 15, 2008)

I am planning on a story called "Everyone's Journey" that acts like a semi-parody to typical fantasy stories. Of course, these means the characters themselves must stand out. I need opinion on the characters.

Note that the setting is fantasy with technology and magic. Yeah, it has stuff like houses beneath trees having cable TVs and stereos, and roaming concerts have projectors and such. Even witches have refrigerators for their "organs". And villages/cities are multi-racial, with the people thinking that "single-race cities are uncivilized and are hinting incestuous creepiness".

*Erick* is a wolfian engineer and the main character. He's the village's local engineer, although he's viewed as a "repairman". When the Wall Kingdom king calls for engineers within its territory to build the Space Satellite (the king wants to have international shows become available locally, obviously fueled for his own desire to watch foreign soaps), he sets out to go to said kingdom. He's level-headed, not a risk-taker, and is skilled with gadgets, and even invented the Pea Shooter, a small, ammo-independent gun that fires energy bullets, powered by a magic crystal.

*Raine* is a human knight who is surprisingly not scantily clad. She is hired by Erick when he goes to journey to Wall City. Annoyed because Erick gave him a low fee. More annoyed when she notices Erick being a magnet of danger. She's actually tough and has that "slash-first-ask-questions-later" attitude, although Erick tries to calm her down.

*Pat* is an elf "ranger"... well, a ranger-in-training actually. She was actually indecisive about her job - much to the disdain of her extended family, because she's 17 (yes 17, not 400-something), and according to law, everyone must have at least a job by 17 or at least an apprentice or something. Her father and gramps "pulled some strings" to make her a ranger, much to her disdain. She has poor aim, but when she unintentionally shoots something, it is quite precise! She's a child at heart, and actually tags with the party only because Erick is a "fluffy, cute puppy" (even though Erick's an adult).

*Max* is a handsome hobbit who is also a necromancer. He is actually compassionate, friendly, kind, and is actually an environmentalist. He's somewhat squeamish too, although he has no qualms on the undead. When the main villain's henchmen destroyed his garden (which also doubles as a graveyard for the poor animals he saw when foraging and those dead people who couldn't afford dead services), he was somewhat scared, but with the help of Erick and company, he finally picked up the courage to file a complaint about it in Wall City.

*Mar* is Max's female twin, also good looking, and is a hobbit. She's a cleric, and is annoyed at Max's job because she believes he's "the antithesis" of her work. She's even annoyed that Max doesn't dress in black. Despite of that, she serves as Max's backbone when the necromancer is feeling afraid. She joins the party when Max decides to come along with the party.

*Tanya* is another engineer like Erick, only this time, she's human. She's more of a carefree inventor and quite an eccentric one, building things like a portable television (problem: reception is iffy), universal remote controller (problem: cannot control a machine without accidentally controlling another), etc. She's not interested in building the Space Machine, as she believes the people there are "not free in thinking creatively". She at first appears as a recurring character before becoming an official party member.

*Diego* is a big, buff black panther with a Don Juan persona, although he is more or less favoring Tanya. He accompanies Tanya as her assistant, although he is actually a certified brawler in his job description. Despite his looks, he's actually smart - and that most of Tanya's successful works (like the Anti-Noise Ear Protectors) are primarily because of his advice and help.

And now for the villain, *Clay K.* is a wizard - in fact, he is destined for great magic (in fact, he was able to feel it by changing his stinky old farm house into a "dark, devious hideout" complete with a thunderstorm). However, he is annoyed because he believes that technology is getting in the way. He believes that magic, and magic alone, should exist, and he thinks that by ruining the king's plan he can prove his point. He loathes technology so much that his place is quite medieval (his paid minions even complain that his castle lacks airconditioning and proper lighting, not to mention good sanitation). He targets Erick and party because... of luck. Indeed, Erick was unlucky enough to show up as "the first engineer to be killed". Despite this, he is actually deadly, capable of performing magic of all fields (for instance, he kills the bounty hunters he paid to kill Erick and company using a "divine arrow" and turn them into undead with high protection from "divine" attacks).

So, what do you think?


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## Poetigress (Jul 15, 2008)

Don't hobbits belong to Tolkien?  I don't think I've ever seen anyone else using them.  Since it's a parody, it might be okay, but it still strikes me as odd.


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## WolfoxOkamichan (Jul 15, 2008)

Err, it's in DnD and Wizardry.


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## Poetigress (Jul 15, 2008)

Okay.  I'm not into any of that, so I didn't know.  *shrug*


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## WolfoxOkamichan (Jul 15, 2008)

Ahh it's ok. XP

Anyway I need opinions.


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## Muawiyah Hirate (Jul 15, 2008)

How I miss playing Wizardry, that game was loads of fun even if it was the biggest thing on my older-than-dust 'pooter.
For starters, the characters sound good and look as though they have the potential to develop some very...interesting personalities. I'd like to see the story when it comes out, it looks like it will be a very good read. The only nit I can pick at the moment is that you accidentally called Raine a "him" at one point. And although it may sound trite, a bit more...special diversity would be nice. If we're going by Wizardry 8 standards, throw in a few ratlings, mooks, dracons or whatever else you really feel like.
Other than that, like I said, it's good for a preliminary character outline.


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## TÃ¦farÃ³s (Jul 17, 2008)

Sounds interesting, but how's the actual writing? The most gripping backstory and traits are lost if not expressed well in the story.


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## GatodeCafe (Jul 17, 2008)

I adore satire, and for that reason, I will be watching this project with the eye of the eagle. I can dig the concept, but, as per taefaros's concerns, I hope the final product can meet my expectations.


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## Orion928 (Jul 17, 2008)

they seem like interesting and well rounded characters, and the story itself seems like itll be quite entertaining, i look forward to it, drop me a note when youre done


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## WolfoxOkamichan (Jul 24, 2008)

I will try. XP


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