# Any advice on how to be a little more social?



## Zorrena (Nov 2, 2021)

So for most of my life I've mostly kept to myself I got 4 people currently in my life I'd consider to be close friends. However at times when I can't talk with them or anything I often wonder if I could look online for people to talk to. So far that's had some mild success but most people seem to stop talking even if it seemed we were getting along. I imagine part of it is that I also struggle to bring myself to send them a message. As in my head I am bothering them although I imagine it really isnt an issue. Especially when sometimes I dont notice a message they last sent for a day or so. In my head I feel like i just offended them and should apologize but at the same time I dont imagine its as big a deal as I'm making it out to be. 

Also what can I do to make it easier for me to talk to people IRL. At work sometimes I find I'm with others and we both know each other but I often have no idea what to say as my brain freaks out trying to think of something they may like based on what I know of them and I end up not saying anything. I wouldnt imagine just blurting the first thing to come to mind is the best though. 

So ya I've been trying to talk to people more as I enjoy talking to people and generally in a way hanging out but I start to freak out and don't know what to say any sorts of advice anyone could give I'll take.


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## TyraWadman (Nov 2, 2021)

I don't know what your life has been like, but I personally don't try to get close to my coworkers. They ALWAYS only ever ask to add me to their socials because that makes it easier for them to beg me to take their shift. XD So unless the person I'm working with has similar interests to mine, or seems mild enough to be interested in talking about common things like food and pets, I don't typically instigate conversation.

Online is very 'hit or miss'. A lot of people are in it for pure indulgence and if you aren't catering to their moods, they likely won't seek you out. It's unfortunate, but true. Videogames, the latest trending TV show, etc.

You could always try commenting here, or posting threads about SFW topics you are most passionate about! It could definitely take a while, but once people see you around more, they might also know YOU aren't going to disappear on them, like so many FAF newbies have before. XD The only thing you have in your thread history seems to revolve around hiring artists and LF-RP. Not a whole lot to go off of! Strut yo stuff!

People can read about you. You can read about others. And then reply when the moment strikes!

Might not be the best place to get your fix, but it can always count towards honing your social skills and confidence, right?
(Sorry if this turns out to be a nonsensical post. I'm tired but too stubborn to sleep)


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## Zorrena (Nov 2, 2021)

TyraWadman said:


> I don't know what your life has been like, but I personally don't try to get close to my coworkers. They ALWAYS only ever ask to add me to their socials because that makes it easier for them to beg me to take their shift. XD So unless the person I'm working with has similar interests to mine, or seems mild enough to be interested in talking about common things like food and pets, I don't typically instigate conversation.
> 
> Online is very 'hit or miss'. A lot of people are in it for pure indulgence and if you aren't catering to their moods, they likely won't seek you out. It's unfortunate, but true. Videogames, the latest trending TV show, etc.
> 
> ...


Your right well it couldn't hurt to try and just go around and see what else is on here. I originally wanted those to help me find new people but since it's not gone well maybe just making random postings will.


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## TyraWadman (Nov 2, 2021)

Zorrena said:


> Your right well it couldn't hurt to try and just go around and see what else is on here. I originally wanted those to help me find new people but since it's not gone well maybe just making random postings will.


There are also discord servers you can try to use, if you're looking for instant messaging vs occasional forum replies?


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## Zorrena (Nov 3, 2021)

Honestly I've not tried discord servers as all the ones i'm in are for various podcasts or games I'm into as for forums its ok no bad experiences with slow forums for me at least.


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## Outré (Nov 3, 2021)

I’m currently trying a telegram group of Furries that are a bit more local to my area. It’s a little bit awkward though. Because I kind of feel like all the people in the group all know each other FaceTime interfering in their conversation or something… but I guess everybody was new at some point.

I kind of like that this forum is a little more casual and Humorous then the telegram group. But sometimes it’s nice to get in to conversations rather than small chitchat… I like both though.


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## Minerva_Minx (Nov 3, 2021)

Zorrena said:


> So for most of my life I've mostly kept to myself I got 4 people currently in my life I'd consider to be close friends. However at times when I can't talk with them or anything I often wonder if I could look online for people to talk to. So far that's had some mild success but most people seem to stop talking even if it seemed we were getting along. I imagine part of it is that I also struggle to bring myself to send them a message. As in my head I am bothering them although I imagine it really isnt an issue. Especially when sometimes I dont notice a message they last sent for a day or so. In my head I feel like i just offended them and should apologize but at the same time I dont imagine its as big a deal as I'm making it out to be.
> 
> Also what can I do to make it easier for me to talk to people IRL. At work sometimes I find I'm with others and we both know each other but I often have no idea what to say as my brain freaks out trying to think of something they may like based on what I know of them and I end up not saying anything. I wouldnt imagine just blurting the first thing to come to mind is the best though.
> 
> So ya I've been trying to talk to people more as I enjoy talking to people and generally in a way hanging out but I start to freak out and don't know what to say any sorts of advice anyone could give I'll take.


I'm off the wall nuts, so there's that.  Also, likewise, not really good at the small talk conversation or knowing what to say when, so yeah, I'm nucking futs.  but I'm also super introverted which makes things interesting.  Honestly, sometimes i don't know how people put up with me sometimes.  Small doses of purely natural substances and large doses of adult beverages I'm sure.

I would try LPW -last post wins.  Always interesting people there.  But just saying hi is usually enough.  No political forums so don't have much to worry on there.

Oh, Tyra's Phantasmogora game page. Super fun.


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## Zorrena (Nov 3, 2021)

Stay Fluft said:


> I’m currently trying a telegram group of Furries that are a bit more local to my area. It’s a little bit awkward though. Because I kind of feel like all the people in the group all know each other FaceTime interfering in their conversation or something… but I guess everybody was new at some point.
> 
> I kind of like that this forum is a little more casual and Humorous then the telegram group. But sometimes it’s nice to get in to conversations rather than small chitchat… I like both though.


This sounds like a good idea but I wouldn't know how to find one.


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## Outré (Nov 3, 2021)

Zorrena said:


> This sounds like a good idea but I wouldn't know how to find one.


I found the group originally on Facebook. I just barely downloaded Telegram the other day. Probably if you just search for your area and furry you might find something on Facebook. The group I found does a lot of meet ups and stuff.. I probably wouldn’t go to one of those unless I get to know maybe one or two people online a little bit first… haha. Being awkward around people sucks.


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## Outré (Nov 3, 2021)

Minerva_Minx said:


> I'm off the wall nuts, so there's that.



I happen like off the wall nuts people and think they are really cool.


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## Zorrena (Nov 3, 2021)

Minerva_Minx said:


> I'm off the wall nuts, so there's that.  Also, likewise, not really good at the small talk conversation or knowing what to say when, so yeah, I'm nucking futs.  but I'm also super introverted which makes things interesting.  Honestly, sometimes i don't know how people put up with me sometimes.  Small doses of purely natural substances and large doses of adult beverages I'm sure.
> 
> I would try LPW -last post wins.  Always interesting people there.  But just saying hi is usually enough.  No political forums so don't have much to worry on there.
> 
> Oh, Tyra's Phantasmogora game page. Super fun.


I don't know about how off the wall you are but one of my closest friends I'd say is fairly similar in the way I would describe them. Always fun to be around


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## Zorrena (Nov 3, 2021)

Stay Fluft said:


> I found the group originally on Facebook. I just barely downloaded Telegram the other day. Probably if you just search for your area and furry you might find something on Facebook. The group I found does a lot of meet ups and stuff.. I probably wouldn’t go to one of those unless I get to know maybe one or two people online a little bit first… haha. Being awkward around people sucks.


Ohh this is a good idea and checking seems my town doesn't have anything like that. Closest one searching all the towns and bigger cities nearby seems to be about a 3 hour drive away.


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## Minerva_Minx (Nov 3, 2021)

I'm probably late to this again.  Honestly, i just do some things because of the power of meh.

Furmap.net was like an old ubuntu program back in the day when I was in Germany.  It might still work or still have old furry data on it.  I remember it leading me to Eurofurence once and then a strange PETA event in Amsterdam.  Long story, too long, no repeat.  I have no idea how that girl got married, but somehow her spouse still loves her.

Furrycons.com works as well.  Also, check the local fur thread.


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## Sam Wamm (Nov 3, 2021)

i'm just tired of the pretenders.

everyone wants to be part of something but nobody wants to "be" something.

when did we become the culture of bottoms?

nobody out here surviving, being a symbol, the rock the world lies on.

nowadays you either let the world screw you around or you screw the world.

Epictets weaps.


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