# New Story concept



## nybx4life (May 9, 2009)

I thought I could get by on my account with artwork, but I just had to write. Oh well.
This is a chapter idea of a story. I'm not sure if I'll run with it, but I would like some opinions here. I'll post it now:

There isnâ€™t much to say about this situation. I am no philosopher, and I see nothing more aside from the facts that present itself to me. The facts are clear, and there is no need to dispute its authenticity. So far, Iâ€™ve been my own biggest critic of the facts. Iâ€™ve blinked multiple times, I hit myself a few times, I even pinched myself once. The obvious returns and proves to me that the following is true:

I am in an area that I do not know of. The meadow is quite nice, and it looks secluded, but I canâ€™t remember anything like this before. This brings me to the second point:

I seem to have no memory of anything before. Aside from my current surroundings and these thoughts to assess this situation, my mind is strangely empty. I think thereâ€™s a term for this, but Iâ€™m not too sure. Lastly, and the most strangest of all:

â€œYouâ€™re okay?â€ There is a dog talking to me. Quite literally, it is a dog, standing on its hind legs, talking to me in English. Or, at least I think itâ€™s English. Maybe itâ€™s a different language that is instantly translated into the language that I know.

All I do to respond is nod at the canine. The fur is mostly rust-red, with a small tuft of white fur on its chest in the shape of a diamond. Itâ€™s eyes were blue, and his ears were perked up, as if in alarm.

â€œDo you think you can stand?â€ I make an attempt to stand, which is pitiful at most. I barely have the strength to get my head up.

â€œAlright, Iâ€™ll get you up.â€ He grabs both my arms with his hands and pulls me up into a sort of bear hug. He shifts me around so that I put my arms around his neck. â€œTry to walk, okay?â€

I stumble a few times, but I manage to keep an odd beat to walking, which at least doesnâ€™t make me entirely useless on my own. Either way, with his help, I manage to get into a nearby cottage, where I get placed down on a nearby mattress and I doze off into sleep again.

I donâ€™t know much about my situation, but something tells me there is something strange about this place. But, of course, that was one of the obvious facts.


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## ElizabethAlexandraMary (May 13, 2009)

From the constant alternance of present/past verb tenses, and the way everything is thrown at the reader, the story feels a little rushed. Besides that, I personally find it very nice and innovative. (Probably since I haven't read much on here.) I am eager to see whatever else you have in plan to develop this.

Since you are also an artist, why don't you try to draw/paint something related so you can gather some attention for your story from the gallery-viewing people?


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## nybx4life (May 13, 2009)

FrancisBlack said:


> From the constant alternance of present/past verb tenses, and the way everything is thrown at the reader, the story feels a little rushed. Besides that, I personally find it very nice and innovative. (Probably since I haven't read much on here.) I am eager to see whatever else you have in plan to develop this.
> 
> Since you are also an artist, why don't you try to draw/paint something related so you can gather some attention for your story from the gallery-viewing people?


 

Oh boy, I wish I could.
Well, I CAN, it's just that it won't turn out that good.
Art skill is really down there.

And, I messed up the tenses again? Dang...
I'll have to fix this.


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## ElizabethAlexandraMary (May 13, 2009)

Come on, you don't have to be this down.

There still is a positive side, unlike other stories I have read.


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## nybx4life (May 13, 2009)

FrancisBlack said:


> Come on, you don't have to be this down.
> 
> There still is a positive side, unlike other stories I have read.


 

Well, at least my writing is still good

And this story concept might work. I could try a few chapters with this.


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