# Writing "doorknob" Questions



## Chanticleer (May 22, 2008)

Ever since I started writing Iâ€™ve been forced to research odd things in my stories that often lead me to ask people strange, embarrassing, and often very personal questions.

The problem is that it turns out when you ask questions like:

â€œHow do you adopt a mentally incompetent minor?â€
or,
â€œCan you show me how to make a pipe bomb?â€
or,
â€œWhat does it feel like to have a period?â€

people tend to look at you less like an aspiring artist, and more like an escaped mental patient.

Researching your questions on the internet or from the library sounds good at first, but that presents its own problems.

The more mundane problem with straight research is that it can be inferior to an intensive Q and A session. Often with questions like this youâ€™re researching a personal reaction or hoping for a very informed, to the point response. You may even want to ask some follow up questions. 
While you can often find your answers with careful research it is usually far more difficult than just asking someone a question.

The other less mundane problem is that when you research things like that you often leave a veryâ€¦ odd paper trail. The librarian might be a little bit curious as to why you are checking out the anarchistâ€™s cookbook.    

So anyway has anyone else run into this problem? If so, how do you ask questions like this? And (provided your examples are appropriate) what kinds do you have the most trouble asking?


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## Poetigress (May 22, 2008)

I tend to ask questions like that at Critique Circle.com, since there are plenty of members from around the world, of all sorts of ages and cultures.  Most importantly, they're all writers, so they understand the need to ask odd-sounding questions.   

If I had to ask someone else I didn't know, such as a professional in a certain field, I'd just go ahead and say that I'm a writer working on a story, and go from there, making it clear that I'm not going to quote them or name them or anything like that.  Most people will take any excuse to talk about themselves, what they do, and what their opinions are.  Online discussion forums are good for getting a general sense of things, too.

Another tactic would be to go ahead and write the first draft as much as possible, and then have the person review the draft for technical problems or things you've left out.  Some people might feel more comfortable taking a look at something and signing off on it rather than going through even a casual interview.

For example, with the questions you've listed above -- I'd look for adoption and caregiver websites, preferably with forums, for the first.  For the second, well, aren't those instructions pretty much all over the web already?    And for the third, if you didn't have anyone female to ask, I'd go looking for resources made for girls that tell them what to expect when they have their first periods.  Sometimes you have to be just as creative in the research, in terms of where you look and who you ask, as you are in the writing itself.

I haven't had to ask anything really problematic, but I know I'd want to be cautious with any question that delves into personal/emotional territory -- any of those "how did it feel to" questions that could get potentially traumatic for the person answering.  I'd want to seek out as much publicly-available info as I could -- memoirs and articles and so forth -- before I'd start asking questions personally of any individual.


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## Kiriska (May 22, 2008)

I don't usually worry about what people think of me for the questions I'm asking. If their opinion's worth much, they usually tend to understand. Then again, maybe most of my friends are just artists too.

For general how-to questions like adoption, I find that googling works okay. For questionable activities, such as the second question, you could always skirt the details and be vague in your writing, or just see if you can get enough information from a more general book on explosives and make stuff up from there. Asking people also probably wouldn't hurt too much -- if they know you, they'd know you weren't up to anything too horrible, right? The third question... eh, you just have to know who wouldn't mind answering that kind of question. After a certain age, I don't imagine that most women would have too many qualms about talking about it. You could always ask your mother? ;3

But yeah, my main resource is my friends, or if it's November, the NaNoWriMo forums are _extremely_ helpful. :3


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