# The danger of Pornographic writings...(?)



## MrParaduo (Sep 2, 2009)

I've been writing for nearly thre years, and in one of the parts of my book, there's a sex scene. The problem? The reaction of those who read it. It's not as bad if you don't know the reader, but what the hell do you do when someone like your mother reads it?! What if it makes them become very uncomfortable with reading, or they look at you in a different perspective that may be negative (even perverted!)
I've been told that if it feels good, write it, but perhaps there's more then just a sex scene, like each part has some semblance of lust i.e a prostitute in part one, a sex scene in part two, and the demon lord of lust in part three...I need some advise here guys.

Also, here's an example of my writing style if it helps:

As they lay upon one another, like a mountain upon the rivers of passion and desire of the flesh that was their sonata and ambrosia, as the mighty bull suckled the nectar of her fruits and feasted upon her vision, as she felt him within her very being, so did they become one of flesh, so did they become purefied in this moment of bliss under each others movements and touch and pleasure.


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## GraemeLion (Sep 2, 2009)

Well.

I don't know if I care for the style, but I'm a cynic 

I wouldn't have my mother read my stuff in editing phases, because parents and friends and family tend to be biased for you.  

On the whole, I'd suggest letting it go, if you're adamant that your mother read this work.  She's read sex scenes before, right?  And she's obviously had sex..


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## Kindar (Sep 2, 2009)

I think that if you're going to be a writer, you need to either not care who reads your stuff, or write under a different name so that they won't know it's you


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## M. LeRenard (Sep 2, 2009)

It comes across to me as a little over the top.  Like something out of _The Clan of the Cave Bear_.
But so far as your mother is concerned, is she frank about sex, or is she prudish, or what?  I would think that would determine whether or not you should show it to her.  Or to anyone else, for that matter.  The fact that you're questioning, though, tells me that maybe you should avoid everything explicit, at least in the drafts you show your friends and relatives.  If you're young (which I'm assuming you are), this problem will be solved with age.  At a certain point, you are suddenly allowed to write about sex.  Generally that point is after you've had sex yourself, I would think.


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## MrParaduo (Sep 3, 2009)

M. Le Renard said:


> It comes across to me as a little over the top. Like something out of _The Clan of the Cave Bear_.
> But so far as your mother is concerned, is she frank about sex, or is she prudish, or what? I would think that would determine whether or not you should show it to her. Or to anyone else, for that matter. The fact that you're questioning, though, tells me that maybe you should avoid everything explicit, at least in the drafts you show your friends and relatives. If you're young (which I'm assuming you are), this problem will be solved with age. At a certain point, you are suddenly allowed to write about sex. Generally that point is after you've had sex yourself, I would think.


 ...Thank you.


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## VÃ¶lf (Sep 3, 2009)

M. Le Renard said:


> It comes across to me as a little over the top.  Like something out of _The Clan of the Cave Bear_.
> But so far as your mother is concerned, is she frank about sex, or is she prudish, or what?  I would think that would determine whether or not you should show it to her.  Or to anyone else, for that matter.  The fact that you're questioning, though, tells me that maybe you should avoid everything explicit, at least in the drafts you show your friends and relatives.  If you're young (which I'm assuming you are), this problem will be solved with age.  At a certain point, you are suddenly allowed to write about sex.  Generally that point is after you've had sex yourself, I would think.



Ho ho ho, merry Christmas! (no hidden meaning, I just say that sometimes XD) I'm just going to go thru this and try to explain what I think.

1) I do agree with this example sounding over the top. They felt more like bees pollinating flowers, in my opinion.  

2) If your mother doesn't like it, she shouldn't be reading it, or she should skip over the sex scene. Quick and painless  Erotica (yiffs as well) is/are very blunt, far more so than that example. Actually, I've heard many a story of authors writing in that genre on the side to make money, and nearly all of them use a pen name so as not to soil their own. 

3) As far as explicitness goes... The rule of thumb I've gone by is writing in your comfort zone, as I believe you said. If you're stressing about it (as I did in my book) it may be best not to write it.

4) Ah, having sex helps? Yeah, that I am _almost _sure of. Heck I haven't, and I wrote 2 sex scenes in my book. A few people have read it, and they weren't disgusted with me. Of course I have some family that I know would yell at me for writing it just because (prude) but I don't let that stop me. The important key is getting to know the secret, less known side of the characters a bit; not emphasizing all on the rubbing body parts. 

5) The best tip I could recommend. Google it. Look up the good, bad, and ugly of sex scenes. Find out what's bad and why, and the same for the good. The more you know, the better off you'll be. Hopefully you'll be able to tell relatively how good yours is after reading up on them.

You may be able to find help @ these links, keeping in mind I googled it myself; some are just plain funny:

http://www.margepiercy.com
http://bostonphoenix.com/boston/news_features
http://www.writing-world.com/romance/love.shtml

And like I said, you can always do it yourself.

The example you gave wasn't bad. I'd just tone down the flowery-ness of it.


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## Tiara_Estella (Sep 4, 2009)

MrParaduo said:


> I've been writing for nearly thre years, and in one of the parts of my book, there's a sex scene. The problem? The reaction of those who read it. It's not as bad if you don't know the reader, but what the hell do you do when someone like your mother reads it?! What if it makes them become very uncomfortable with reading, or they look at you in a different perspective that may be negative (even perverted!)
> I've been told that if it feels good, write it, but perhaps there's more then just a sex scene, like each part has some semblance of lust i.e a prostitute in part one, a sex scene in part two, and the demon lord of lust in part three...I need some advise here guys.
> 
> Also, here's an example of my writing style if it helps:
> ...



Yes the inactive and late commenter is here! -_- lol

Its wonderfully symbolic and yet anyone can understand the event, the emotions...etc (In other words its awesome)

I guess it depends on ones views and preferences.
If you like to bring variety into your pron, remember that usually its linear in some sense... If its just an orgy book portraying romantic to ravaging forms of sexual interaction then have a warning on the first page.

A sudden and drastic change can surprise, if not bother people; and also not everyone is into what you are so going from that "romantic scene to having a bull ramming his sharpened horn into her anus" can deter readers..

So just be clear to others on where your going.
Not all pron has no metaphoric romance, I know; I've read many in my past >.> <.< >.> <.< >.>;
So I'm just putting up my thoughts. yesh -nod-


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## hara-surya (Sep 19, 2009)

My favorite essay about sex scenes:



> Sex Scenes
> By David Gerrold
> 
> Sex scenes are embarrassing.
> ...


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## Atrak (Sep 19, 2009)

Very good quote, skye. I also like the comment about using another name mentioned above. I use a different name (obviously ), but it's not just different, it is unique. I am the only Atrakaj there is  . I use a different name, not because I don't want my parents reading it (which I really don't), but because it is who I am. That might sound a bit cliche, but most everything has been said before.
I do not want parents reading what I write, simply because I still live with them. My mom probably wouldn't judge me much, but she would occasionally make sarcastic comments, and it would get annoying.
I am not ashamed of my writing, if fact, I'm a bit proud of it  . It allows me to explain how I view sex and romance with just a quick referral to a blog or forum. They can read my stories, and find out how I think and feel.
The protaginist in my IDA series is me. That's why I named him Atrakaj. I think about how I would react in situations, and that's how he reacts. Sorry, getting a bit off-topic  .
Anyway, the point is, you should probably use a pen name while you are living with your parents, and not even show them the stories with mature content. After you move out, it doesn't really matter. I'm pretty much immune to peer pressure, so I don't care if people see the true me. I am not ashamed, and it will help me locate true friends in the future.


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## swiftcat304 (Sep 19, 2009)

Well, the danger of sex scenes is that it's easy to fall into a pit of purple prose. When dealing with sex in a story, you should make sure that the reader knows what's going on without focusing on the act itself (unless you're writing porn, which judging the title, I may not be of use here). If you're indeed writing porn, then I'm pretty sure your mother isn't the best audience for it. Sex scenes are just hard to write i general. If you feel up to it, then you're free to do it. Just remember that you asked for it.

As for the purple prose part, use word economy. Be as poetic as you want, but make sure you keep the vivid imagery within bounds.

For example:


> As they lay upon one another, like a mountain upon the rivers of passion and desire of the flesh that was their sonata and ambrosia, as the mighty bull suckled the nectar of her fruits and feasted upon her vision, as she felt him within her very being, so did they become one of flesh, so did they become purefied in this moment of bliss under each others movements and touch and pleasure.



A piece of advice a friend gave me was to avoid being so verbose that your readers can't understand what you're saying. You can be poetic, just dont slather it on to the point that it starts to sound corny. Remember, it's not just about what you tell; it's got a lot to do what what you *don't* tell. Good writing leaves some room for the imagination if you know what I mean.


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## Atrak (Sep 20, 2009)

Heh heh. Proving your point through example and cliche, eh?


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## swiftcat304 (Sep 20, 2009)

atrakaj said:


> Heh heh. Proving your point through example and cliche, eh?



I'm not sure what you mean by that.


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## TakeWalker (Sep 20, 2009)

ciaranskye said:


> My favorite essay about sex scenes:



OH my GOD.

THAT MAN IS INSIDE MY MIND @___@

THIS THIS THIS


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## CryoScales (Sep 21, 2009)

Erotica is a very finicky genre. It's easy to do, but extremely difficult to do well. It's the exact same thing with something like comedy. You need to make your jokes/scenes appeal to everyone reading it. Unlike tragedy or drama where everything is much easier to spot or feel.


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## VÃ¶lf (Sep 24, 2009)

My understanding of writing it was to focus more on emotion when writing as opposed to writing about the physical deal. But, that was more... sex-scene-in-novel kind of thing, not erotica; which really isn't my thing anyhow.


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## Lazarus (Sep 24, 2009)

It's a fine line with sex scenes. But I'd just cut to the chase, not add in all these dreamy visuals and buzzwords that'd make 'em swoon...unless that's what you're going for.

I never tried to write a sex scene before, but in the one's I've read tastefulness is always something that wins you over with everyone.


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## MrParaduo (Sep 25, 2009)

Lazarus said:


> It's a fine line with sex scenes. But I'd just cut to the chase, not add in all these dreamy visuals and buzzwords that'd make 'em swoon...unless that's what you're going for.
> 
> I never tried to write a sex scene before, but in the one's I've read tastefulness is always something that wins you over with everyone.


 
Fair enough.


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## Atrak (Sep 30, 2009)

Swiftcat:


> Remember, it's not just about what you tell; it's got a lot to do what what you *don't* tell. Good writing leaves some room for the imagination if you know what I mean.


The "if you know what I mean" thing. It's used so much it qualifies as cliche, and it emphasizes your point of leaving some of the details to the imagination of the reader.


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## gameking1300 (Jan 29, 2012)

When writing abought sex parts in the storie it's best to leave very little to the mind
for example 

As she thought abought having passionately loved sex with him and she was going to do so but she couldn't help but to smile at herself as she remembered something. Her husband was overseas in a war and would be comeing home today but today came and nothing tomorrow came and still nothing.....

My work in progress he and she have no name so be kind and send me at least 10-15 male and female names thank you


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## M. LeRenard (Jan 29, 2012)

This thread is from 2009.  If you're not familiar, we discourage posting to threads older than 1 month.


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