# How should I start my book?



## RedSavage (Aug 23, 2011)

As a writer, I think there's nothing more frustrating, yet liberating, than the fact that anything can be said or written in a million and one ways. Many of them are acceptable, even more are wrong, but rare is the _perfect_ combination of sentences that just seems to CLICK. 

That said, I've been tearing myself up trying to figure out how I want the first bit of my book to start. Should I start it with a down to earth introduction and nudge into the story? Or should I give a scene that possibly says better than what the introduction ever could?

Before I get along too far, some info on the book, called Instinct Rising. It's finished, I'm just busy juggling all the versions of it and moving parts around. The synopsis is pretty straightforward: 

Croy Gilder is quiet-spoken Texas teen who lives alone with his mother. Life is simple, and it'd be much appreciated if it didn't change. Of course, nothing ever turns out that way. Unknown to Croy, his nonexistent father was a werewolf, passing the genes onto him. Croy is left to experience the mental and physical transformations on his own, trying to balance the new instincts and feelings of rage and attraction bloom within him. However, he's not entirely alone. Enter Jerry, the non sequitur werewolf whose intentions are as confusing as his quizzical personality, who attempts to teach Croy the meaning, or perhaps the curse, of being half human. At the same time, his sister Janise comes in, bound and determined to break Croy of his human upbringing, wiping away all preconceived notions of love and lust. All the while, the transformation is unlocking the darker side of Croy, leaving him to wonder just how many of his actions are his, and which are controlled by the instinct rising within him.
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(So that's probably the most dramatic I've ever described my book, but I need to start working on my pitch anyhow. If you have any suggestions, that'd be awesome.)

Anyhow, that said, I'm having a bit of trouble getting the start down. 

The pros and cons of each balance out. The formal introduction makes it seem more as if it's being _told_, giving it an informal and easy to read tone, and sets a definitive mood for the story, as well as the type of guy Croy. Yet it's a bit long winded, and possibly borders on pretentious and cliche. It was written a long time ago, so I feel as if I could have done better.

The alternate scene that opens the story, on the plus side, gives us an immediate feel and introduction to the main players of the game, while at the same time holding up more solid tone and feel. I don't have to convert over to the traditional narration. It all flows. 

Personally I _like_ the scene that merely opens up on my protagonists life. Yet, I wonder if it jumps in too harshly, jerking the reader around without setting up the scene enough. 

So I'll just go ahead and post both openings here later in a reply, unless that's against decorum and such. I don't have it posted anywhere else, and I'd really like to give some more context to what I'm talking about. But if you have any thoughts and suggestions in the mean time, it'd be great.

~cc

(fyi the original opening is about 2,700 hundred words, and the new one is 3,500 words. I know that's a bit contradictory to the first being more long winded than the first, but once I post it I think you'll see what I mean. BUT, I kinda want permission before posting that much, and to know if anyone would be interested in reading them at all)


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## Evan of Phrygia (Aug 23, 2011)

Just a thought as a skimmed this as i'm in a rush.

Introduce his ordinary life, present very little plot relevance, set a tone and mood of the book. Don't try to set up your plot straight off the bat or else it will feel rushed and unwelcome. Get to know the characters.

Edit: Skimmed some more. I still don't have much to say.


Idk, i need to look at this a little more.


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## Stormtail (Aug 23, 2011)

As a reader I think I would prefer the opening scene to the introduction. Thinking back on books I've read,  formal introductions are harder to read. If you think it's long-winded the reader probably will too.


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## RedSavage (Aug 23, 2011)

This_is_Tides said:


> Just a thought as a skimmed this as i'm in a rush.
> Introduce his ordinary life, present very little plot relevance, set a tone and mood of the book. Don't try to set up your plot straight off the bat or else it will feel rushed and unwelcome. Get to know the characters.
> Edit: Skimmed some more. I still don't have much to say
> Idk, i need to look at this a little more.



Bwahahaha I've deleted my text and now you can't see it. :B


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## Antonin Scalia (Aug 23, 2011)

Read the New Yorker.  Make it poignant and simple.


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## kitreshawn (Aug 23, 2011)

Just start writing.  Seriously, so long as you have a story in mind just begin to tell it.

When you come back to edit you can chose to start at a later point, or earlier, or even completely alter the opening scene.  Don't get hung up on the opening, you can change it later.  Get the story going and keep it moving.  The longer you linger on a single scene the more likely you will be to get bored and abandon your project completely.


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## RedSavage (Aug 23, 2011)

DOUBLE DELETE


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## RedSavage (Aug 23, 2011)

kitreshawn said:


> Just start writing.  Seriously, so long as you have a story in mind just begin to tell it.
> 
> When you come back to edit you can chose to start at a later point, or earlier, or even completely alter the opening scene.  Don't get hung up on the opening, you can change it later.  Get the story going and keep it moving.  The longer you linger on a single scene the more likely you will be to get bored and abandon your project completely.



*snrk*  Maybe you didn't catch it, but the book IS done. I know how it goes, and this ain't my first rodeo, as they say. It's time to get down to the brass tacks, whcih is why I'm getting specific about it now. :B

(Also, double posts, double posts, everywhere)

(Also, ONE MORE THING, sorry if I don't respond in a timely manner. This laundrymat is starting to close down. :V)


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## Stormtail (Aug 23, 2011)

So, after reading them I agree that you should go with the newer version. I actually found the part just before and during the crash to be more engaging in the first version, though. It was more descriptive.


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## M. LeRenard (Aug 24, 2011)

If you've got an FA account, I'd appreciate it if you would just post these things there.  I'll leave them up for now since technically they aren't whole works and since they need to be visible to be discussed, but I kind of wish you'd have asked me first.
Anyway... criticism.

The first one: that doesn't sound anything like the beginning of a story.  It sounds like a bunch of pseudo-philosophical horse-hockey.  I stopped reading by the fourth paragraph that had no content in it, and now I don't remember what I just read.  I ain't picking up a book about a werewolf to read his dumb teenage pondering about life, I can tell you that much.  So the first intro lost my interest immediately.  No question: don't use that one.

The second one: started off good, but went on too long.  Again... it's hard to tell if this has anything to do with anything.  The language works just fine, but language alone can't serve as a hook.  Think about how you just sold the book, and then read that intro again.  I ain't seeing the story you were selling.  I'm seeing a kind of boring story about a kid at a party lusting after some girl.  I don't care about that, and the reason I don't care is because it's the beginning of the book, so I don't know any of these characters, and hence I don't care about their feelings yet.  You haven't earned that as the author, so you shouldn't be pushing it on us right now.  Slow scenes belong later, when we've gotten to like the characters and when you as the author think we deserve a break in the action so we can know them on a deeper level.  But you can't start that way.

Hence, I would start this thing off at the car crash.  Right?  Pretty obvious choice.  Since I don't care about the characters yet, just hit me with something crazy and full of high powered emotions so it attracts my interest.  A car crash is perfect for that.  And who cares if it's been done.  It worked before and it'll still work.
So if I were you, I'd take that second intro and lop its head clean off, and throw the first one away entirely.


Lesson in 'the hook'.  That's why they call it that: it has to 'hook' the reader right away, since people can't afford to spend too much time reading when the selection to choose from is so vast.

And post these on FA, for chrissakes.


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## FlynnCoyote (Aug 24, 2011)

I liked your original intro, but if you think the newer ones are better than I won`t argue. 


One thing I noticed however, is you seemed to switch between past tense and present tense at irregular intervals. Is there a reason for this? Because generally you`d write one way or another rather than both right?


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## RedSavage (Aug 24, 2011)

Stormfur said:


> So, after reading them I agree that you should go with the newer version. I actually found the part just before and during the crash to be more engaging in the first version, though. It was more descriptive.


 
Alright, duly noted. I can certainly see where you're getting that. For the second version of writing I went for a more slimmed down style, simply because the original voice and narration was running my book up around 160,000 words, which is entirely too much for a first time author. But I'll put credence where it's due, and admit that it could use a bit more detail. 




M. Le Renard said:


> Anyway... criticism.




First off, sorry for going around you and just throwing these up here. I could say something about how I was pushed for time and blah blah blah, but in hindsight I realize I was just being lazy about it.  So again, apologies. 

Anyhow, that's probably the hardest my first version has EVER been shut down. No joke, but to say that I agree with you would be nothing less than fact. It never set well with me how I had to ramble to set stuff into motion. 

As for the suggested cut to the second bit, that's an interesting way to look at it, never really saw it that way. Start out with a bang and a whimper... I kinda like it. Of course, I'd like to stick that party scene in there elsewhere, simply because it is a bit plot relevant. But as you said, get to know the character first and all. I'll do a bit more thinking and rearranging and see how it works out. 

Anyhow, looks like more editing. 

SO MUCH FUN. :V



Ishtar5 said:


> I liked your original intro, but if you think the newer ones are better than I won`t argue.
> One thing I noticed however, is you seemed to switch between past tense and present tense at irregular intervals. Is there a reason for this? Because generally you`d write one way or another rather than both right?



Well hey that's the reason I posted this here was so that it could be debated. But, I guess since my mind is already made up you have a point. however, I'd like to know WHAT you enjoyed about the first intro, so maybe I can bring some of those elements over. 

As for the tense, some of the switching is intentional, though I'm not sure how well it's going to work. (Also I'm sure some of the tense changes might in fact be blatant errors). What I was trying to go for was a break in that sense that this was being told AFTER the fact. When someone writes first person, it's automatically assumed that it's being told or written or read in some way or fashion. 

By using a bit of present tense, I hoping to bring the reader in a bit more, taking away that sense of distance and feel of "Okay, yeah, this is being written". 

But on the flip side maybe I shouldn't be trying to push the literary boundaries of what I'm doing. Obviously, I'm an amateur writing an amateur work. half of me wants to try and play it straight while the other half says sometimes it doesn't hurt to push myself as a writer and experiment. 

That said, thanks for all the pointers and such. Feel free to add anything else as I start cutting and snipping once again.


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## M. LeRenard (Aug 24, 2011)

CoyoteCaliente said:
			
		

> Anyhow, looks like more editing.
> 
> SO MUCH FUN. :V


Welcome to the wonderful world of writing.
;-)

Have you posted these on FA, yet?  If so, please delete the text here and link to them instead.


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## RedSavage (Aug 25, 2011)

M. Le Renard said:


> Welcome to the wonderful world of writing.
> ;-)
> 
> Have you posted these on FA, yet?  If so, please delete the text here and link to them instead.



Well no. *shuffles feet* But I'll delete the text anyways, seeing as this thread has served it's purpose better than I honestly expected it to. c:

And since there's nothing to critique, might as well close the thread while I'm at it. :V


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