# Little Things You Think About?



## Punji (Dec 15, 2020)

Small events and things that happened to you some time ago, but are still there in your mind.

Here's one of mine:

Once in school, must have been like grade 5 or 6 or something so I was quite young, another kid and I sort of got into a scuffle in the middle of class. Nothing big or anything, but he'd been one of the kids who bullied me for years, and admittedly I him. Anyways, I forget why it happened, but I got mad and grabbed a tissue box off the teacher's desk and beat him over the head with it so hard and for so long that the box literally fell apart from the impacts, in full view of the teacher and every other student in the class.

And because the teacher laughed at it, I never got in any trouble at all for it. It sticks with me even today, because it really showed me how the world actually is. While I was quite a trouble-maker, people generally like me. No one wanted me to be punished because they liked me more than the guy I assaulted.


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## Deleted member 127940 (Dec 16, 2020)

1) Had a guy at a washeteria give me 5 bucks once. Happened back in 2019. I never got his name, but he was a white guy who stood about 5'7 or so, looked to be in his mid-30s to very early-40s, and had a low-cut beard of sorts that was somewhat scraggly yet relatively neat for the most part. He possessed rather sharp facial features and had a mass of dirty-blond hair atop his head. I think he wore a black tee shirt as well. He looked to be about as broke as I was at the time.

He took one look at my Domino's pizza uniform and said, "Those places don't pay shit. Take this." and handed me a fiver with a smile.

2) I got a free burger with all of the fixings from Waffle House on Christmas day of 2019. Much like the first guy, I never got the waitress' name (I am actually somewhat shy IRL and I'm not used to strangers doing nice things for me), but she was a younger and portly Hispanic lady (maybe mid-20s or so). I was quite miserable at the time because I didn't have any family to spend Christmas with and I was living on the streets as well. I think she picked up on my profound sadness and decided to do a good deed for the day.

3) @Yakamaru gave me 30 dollars USD recently via an Amazon gift card. He helped make Christmas possible for my little sister and my immediate family back home. Unusually large tips from my job helped cover for the rest. I was very close to cancelling it outright because it was an expense that I couldn't make happen without reaching into my emergency savings fund due to the fact that 815 dollars worth of my take-home monthly pay is going towards paying off several outstanding debts that I owe to various financial institutions.

I wish I had gotten the names of the first two people because that would have made those two memories possess more staying power I feel. I don't like people much and I'm still fairly certain that most folks are generally out for their own self-interest most of the time, but it's these sorts of tangible acts of empathy and kindness that help preserve what little fondness that I possess for the human collective.


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## Heckraising (Dec 16, 2020)

_Background_
When I was in 7th and 8th grade, they had placed me in a special education center instead of a _proper school_ because I couldn't behave. The thing about that place was that they were having me do first and second grade work because they were in no way prepared to give school work to someone who well, had went to a regular school for such a long time and actually learned all the early stuff. I would get all my day's work done in minutes and they eventually started letting me just sit in a tiny closet sized room with a chair connected to the class. _apparently the building was built with an unknown completely different purpose, so there was just a random ass room or something_. There is this one day that I have been thinking about more and more often.

I did the day's work, I went to the room and just sat on my phone looking at, eventually someone joined me in there because he had nothing else to do just like I did. He had like 30 minutes before he had moved onto the next thing (which I already had done, I would do every single assignment at once). I was pretty judgmental back then, I mean, I try to tell myself that a lot of people that young shoved into a place with a lot of people that are just now learning stuff you learned years ago would develop a big ego from it, but it eats away at me still to this day. This kid just stands next to were I'm sitting, there wasn't another chair. He continuously tried to start conversation for the first like 10 minutes and I just ignored him, not giving a single fuck about anything he has to say because like I said, extremely large ego for no reason. Eventually he pulls out his phone and says he wants to show me a funny video. At this point I was genuinely so angry at him because he wouldn't shut up and just let me just do my thing. I peek at his phone to see what it is he is trying to show me and it was this video I recognized. Back then more than nowadays there were these SFM TF2 videos that were very crudely animated and were just completely fucking random and hilarious. _If you want to know the exact video, look up Gravel Poot by Eltorro64Rus. _After Me and him finished laughing our asses off we talked for the next 20 minutes, like actually, and he was genuinely one of the coolest people I've ever met. I genuinely felt like I could hold a conversation with him without having to explain everything I say that isn't like, really easy to understand. We had a lot of common interests too, I was into anime around the time (def not anymore) and so way he, we both enjoyed pc gaming, both were starting soda collections around the time, and much much more. Around when he was supposed to go back he even locked himself in to keep talking to me for a few minutes while they looked for whoever had the key because I guess they aren't mature at all and have a key on them at all times. The rest of my time there was mostly spent talking to him, genuinely felt like I had a friend that could be like an equal. I'm not trying to bash anyone with learning disabilities or any other form of mental disorders, as I myself have a list of plenty. But it was just hard to find someone to relate to there, y'know? I then found a few others that were similar after learning to actually give people chances, never became as close as the two of us though.

I think back on that day a lot, Like, A lot of people describe me as being very open minded. But I can't really accept that knowing how much of an ass I acted like to someone who genuinely ended up being one of the best people I've ever met. Find it hard to see myself as a grown person.


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## Deleted member 134556 (Dec 16, 2020)

When I was in 9th grade, we had a school assignment where we would pick as song that we loved, and share it with the class using the internet. I picked what I currently enjoyed when I was young, DragonForce, the song, 'Hero's of our Time'. Now my taste in music has expanded, and every time I hear a new song I think is my favorite, I look back and envision myself sharing it with the class I had in high school.


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## Kinare (Dec 16, 2020)

There's so many little events that will randomly pop into my head when there's a trigger to remind me. I can't usually just recall something small without one. Reading some of the other posts reminded me of one.

While walking out of a Papa Johns once, some random guy, who was quite handsome in my opinion, smiled at me and said "hi". I stumbled and said "hi" back awkwardly. Now, most people's reaction to such a thing might be "owo *blushes* how nice". Me? I'm not the kind of girl people smile at and say "hi". I'm the kind people sneer at and judge. This is literally the only time someone who was good looking ever paid me any positive attention out of the blue, or any stranger at all for that matter. As small as such an incident seemed to him, it sent my brain into one hell of a spiral. He was trying to be nice, maybe he owned or managed the place and just wasn't dressed the part and wanted to be friendly to a customer. That's what I tell myself anyways. Could be he was just someone trying to put a smile on someone's face by being nice. I don't know, never will, but it bugs me a lot.


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## TemetNosce88 (Dec 16, 2020)

Can I post something that just happened that's a little thing that I'm thinking about?

This morning I watched something weird and flappy drifting along in the breeze. It got closer and I realized it was a novelty helium balloon, a silver star with the string still attached. It came down lower and lower and landed on one of my neighbors' property. 

I guess conceptually I knew that lost balloons eventually come down, but I had never seen it before. It's just left me in a weird mood for some reason.


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## Deleted member 111470 (Dec 16, 2020)

- I was listening to a podcast of sorts a couple of weeks ago, and one of the guys said something to the effect of _"Oh, life is too short to strive for mediocrity. I'd rather get the best things I can possibly afford instead of settling for worse."_ That resonated with me a lot for some reason.

- I bought a cheap-ass watch box yesterday, to have my time pieces neatly stored and placed on display. When arranging them, I couldn't help but think of the memories associated with them: The first watch I got for graduating high school, the second one I got for my first salary, the third I bought when I went on a permanent contract. The fourth was gifted to me by my best friend, and it's the most expensive watch I own. There's no way I could ever afford a watch that costs as much.
My point is - I fucking love watches because all the ones I have are connected to meaningful events in my life. God damn.


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## TyraWadman (Dec 16, 2020)

Back when I was still living with my Ex and dealing with his financial burdens and whatever drama he could toss at me, our water stopped working. We had none for a few months and all while this was going on, I was working. I was sick. I couldn't bathe because the only place that was open to aid the public, didn't fit the scope of my work hours. I only managed to get to it once. 

Later on, when the water finally got fixed we had it for one whole night before our pipes backed up with the ice from winter, and sewage began to flood our basement apartment. 3 people have to move their furniture and belongings into the kitchen and go about their lives in said kitchen. We were not offered any accommodations while this was happening, and instead of sleeping for work, I spent the whole night moving furniture and then getting bitched at for not having moved everything out by 9AM when it happened around 3AM. 

Took months for them to clean up. All the while, my Ex decided he was going to quit his job that paid him 20 something an hour. I was already paying for the food for him and his three kids. Now I was stuck spotting his rent. Asshole room mate worked nights and stayed up screaming at his PayDay(?) game. Ex decided he wasn't going to be any better. 

A customer noticed how miserable I was and I explained my situation to him. I was so exhausted that I couldn't find the energy or will to smile. I was broken. He bought me some flowers. I feel terrible looking back on it because I was physically incapable of expressing my emotions. I have never had anyone buy me flowers and I knew that I would have cried any other day. 

A part of me feels bad for hating on customers that dump their emotional problems onto me. I don't think it's always fair, but obviously there are other people out there like me that might be at the end of their ropes. I mostly just wish I was some kind of superhuman that knew how to help them all. Either way, I still think back to those flowers, even if they didn't last long.


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## jimsins (Dec 21, 2020)

Small actions make up our attitude and behavior. Small things grow and are more efficient over time. The little things we overlook build-up to the big ones. The little things *we d*o are actually the memories our families and friends have of us. Red panda Kigurumi is one of the best costumes I have ever seen


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## Connor J. Coyote (Dec 21, 2020)

I became a coyote yote.


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## Kuuro (Dec 25, 2020)

Recently I've had an interesting shift in... happiness, I suppose? Six or so years ago I fell into my first relationship, and it quickly became pretty serious. I met her through an acquaintance on Skype and we hit it off really well. I was going to college at UO and lived about 2,200 miles away. I had lots of financial struggles and had lost passion in my classes so I decided "fuck it" and I dropped out to move into her place. I left everything behind, I didn't care at all. Fast forward two years, we move back to my home state to get away from her family and have a better chance at career/connections/life. We moved in with my best friend of 5 years, and, long story short, they developed feelings for each other and decided I wasn't a priority for them anymore, and they're still together today.

Of course I can say a LOT of things about that period of my life, I know I said and did a lot of things I regret. What's interesting, though, is the state that event left me in. I was pretty fucked up, to say the least. Luckily as time went on I thought about it less and less, but I discovered that _thinking_ about it less didn't mean it was _affecting_ me less.

Recently I was having a few drinks and packing up my belongings (moving out of my roommates' home, going on a long roadtrip -- another story) when I realized something. I've passively spent the vast majority of my time, since that relationship, running. In my mind, I mean. I'd fill my days with alcohol, work, TV, porn, whatever... sometimes I'd work up the effort to tinker a little bit with a project but the _passion_ wasn't there. I'd constantly think things like, "what am I going to do with my life?" and "I need to make something of myself." I realized that to answer these calls I simply needed to shift my attention away from the thoughts themselves and move it toward the topic at hand. I just needed to give a shit, about anything. So I started to do that, and I feel like I got my brain back. It's been exhilarating, and I've finally started learning things again. I've even come out of my shell more and am suddenly not nearly as afraid of what people think of me. If they're judging, good for them! I don't care. I got so used to doing anything to try and keep myself from thinking about a heartbreak, that I forgot how to enjoy an activity simply for having the experience of that activity. I feel like I've waken up.

It's a trip, man. I was always envisioning breakthroughs like this happening in some incredible event, like maybe I'll hit it big with some one-hit-wonder song I wrote, or pave my road to fame with some groundbreaking screenplay. Nah, just drinking Jager and cleaning my room


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## Glossolalia (Dec 25, 2020)

Once when I was a kid I was sitting on my bed, and I saw a cup sitting on my desk on the other side of the room suddenly start moving all the way from one side of the desk to the other. I remember thinking to myself "this is it. Finally, the laws of the universe have started falling apart." 

And then I got up and saw that condensation had dripped to the bottom of the cup and made it hydroplane across the glass surface (which apparently was on a slight tilt). I was disappointed.


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## Davedd (Jan 8, 2021)

Ok, so I was probably 5 or 6.  I was just playing with play-doh and I thought to myself, _I will remember this._  Still do.


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## Connor J. Coyote (Jan 8, 2021)

@Punji How awesome coyotes really are.


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## aomagrat (Jan 10, 2021)

I think it was in 1966, my parents had just got divorced and my mom, brother and I moved to a different state. I was in the third grade and I transferred from a modern school in the suburbs to a rundown urban school that must have been over 50 years old.  It was heated by coal and had no air conditioning. Each classroom had its own bathroom.  And it was the first time I went to school with African Americans, and it was on this school that I first remember seeing racism.  An African American girl raised her hand a asked to used the bathroom.  The teacher refused to allow her, even though she was begging and crying.  Eventually she urinated at her seat.  I knew that was wrong because I had been allowed to use the restroom during class more than once.  I still think of that day often.


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## zandelux (Jan 10, 2021)

TemetNosce88 said:


> Can I post something that just happened that's a little thing that I'm thinking about?
> 
> This morning I watched something weird and flappy drifting along in the breeze. It got closer and I realized it was a novelty helium balloon, a silver star with the string still attached. It came down lower and lower and landed on one of my neighbors' property.
> 
> I guess conceptually I knew that lost balloons eventually come down, but I had never seen it before. It's just left me in a weird mood for some reason.


This reminds me of the plastic bag scene in American Beauty. I'm not sure if you found the balloon thing "beautiful", but I've had similar odd experiences that stuck with me for some reason, and that's the word that comes to mind.


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## TemetNosce88 (Jan 10, 2021)

zandelux said:


> This reminds me of the plastic bag scene in American Beauty. I'm not sure if you found the balloon thing "beautiful", but I've had similar odd experiences that stuck with me for some reason, and that's the word that comes to mind.


It most certainly was beautiful, and maybe melancholy. Perhaps that last part is just my own projection onto the incident.

Also, I appreciate the reference to that movie. It's an under-rated one.


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## the sleepiest kitty (Jan 11, 2021)

I think about how my brother told 13 y/o me that I'd outgrow bands like Korn and Linkin Park, but I never did and I'm 28 lol


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## Alyx_0_0 (Jan 11, 2021)

I think about the one time I was physically bullied. Here's the story:

Some girl in my grade was a bit of a jerk {to keep it polite} in middle school. Her mother had cancer so it was understandable but she should talk about it or punch a wall, not hurt other people's self-esteem. Three of us were waiting for the bus after school - her, me, and a Mexican guy that didn't speak English very well yet. She was insulting him and all that {I don't really remember what she said} and I told her to stop. So she did but she came over to me. At the time, I had a binder, a notebook, and a Chromebook the school gave me in my hands. She came up to me and did the most childish thing, she knocked the things to the ground. So I bent down to pick them up, happy to take the brunt of it instead of someone else, and I noticed she was still there, towering {I only barely mean this because she was short and I was on the ground} over me. Then she spat in my face and walked away. The bus wasn't here yet and there weren't any teachers around. I picked up my things, wiped the spit off, and looked her dead in the eyes. Then I said, "Listen, just because your mom has cancer doesn't mean you can take it out on other people." I don't know why that was what I said but it is and apparently, it was what I needed to say because she yelled at me to shut up. Right before I said it, a teacher came out and heard me. She got mad at me and said not to say something like that but I honestly didn't even care, still don't. She never insulted or went near me again and I also think she left the Mexican guy alone too. Then she moved away and I never had to see or talk to her again. All in all, happy times.


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## Hogo (Jan 15, 2021)

aomagrat said:


> I think it was in 1966, my parents had just got divorced and my mom, brother and I moved to a different state. I was in the third grade and I transferred from a modern school in the suburbs to a rundown urban school that must have been over 50 years old.  It was heated by coal and had no air conditioning. Each classroom had its own bathroom.  And it was the first time I went to school with African Americans, and it was on this school that I first remember seeing racism.  An African American girl raised her hand a asked to used the bathroom.  The teacher refused to allow her, even though she was begging and crying.  Eventually she urinated at her seat.  I knew that was wrong because I had been allowed to use the restroom during class more than once.  I still think of that day often.


Was it South Carolina? (I'm notice you're in Lexington on your banner, I'm in the upstate myself)

Regardless that's really screwed up. I have a neighbor who was in elementary school when they were integrated here and she has some real horror stories about it.

Since there's a lot of heavy stuff in here I guess I'll lighten the mood: when I was in the 8th grade I created a school-wide fad when I told people on the bus that they could chew Stride gum with the wrapper still on it. Popped the stick right in my mouth and started chewing to prove it and the next thing I knew half of the (mostly guys) school were chewing gum with the wrapper still on and the fad lasted for a good week before people realized just how ridiculous and stupid it was. But because the wrapper was so tasteless and the whole 'boys will be boys' aspect of it, I guess that's why it caught on. Completely unintentional but I still think about it often to this day during job interviews when they ask me what my greatest accomplishment in life is. I of course don't say that's my greatest accomplishment but it _is_ something that runs through my mind.


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## Hogo (Jan 15, 2021)

jimsins said:


> Small actions make up our attitude and behavior. Small things grow and are more efficient over time. The little things we overlook build-up to the big ones. The little things *we d*o are actually the memories our families and friends have of us. Red panda Kigurumi is one of the best costumes I have ever seen


When I was in college I went to some free therapy they had because I was struggling to make friends and had a very anti-social personality and the therapist told me, "Our personality is the accumulation of our decisions."

I think about that line often. Don't know if that was an original from him but it's just a...damn good quote. Maybe one of the most important things anyone has said to me and I don't even remember the guy's name.


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## aomagrat (Jan 15, 2021)

Hogo said:


> Was it South Carolina? (I'm notice you're in Lexington on your banner, I'm in the upstate myself)
> 
> Regardless that's really screwed up. I have a neighbor who was in elementary school when they were integrated here and she has some real horror stories about it.
> 
> Since there's a lot of heavy stuff in here I guess I'll lighten the mood: when I was in the 8th grade I created a school-wide fad when I told people on the bus that they could chew Stride gum with the wrapper still on it. Popped the stick right in my mouth and started chewing to prove it and the next thing I knew half of the (mostly guys) school were chewing gum with the wrapper still on and the fad lasted for a good week before people realized just how ridiculous and stupid it was. But because the wrapper was so tasteless and the whole 'boys will be boys' aspect of it, I guess that's why it caught on. Completely unintentional but I still think about it often to this day during job interviews when they ask me what my greatest accomplishment in life is. I of course don't say that's my greatest accomplishment but it _is_ something that runs through my mind.


Yep, good old South Carolina. That school was the worst one I ever attended, and I attended a lot of schools (9 schools before graduating high school.)  Luckily it was demolished when they built Richland Memorial Hospital.


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## A-stick-figure (Jan 15, 2021)

I once drew a painting that wasn’t a stick figure one. It was extremely high-tier. I destroyed it immediately. (I still have the skill though)


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## zenmaldita (Jan 15, 2021)

I always think about the handsome policeman I met in Tokyo 7 years ago. He's probably married now... Tall, broad shoulders, gentle voice, bright smile...guy's a total catch. If I had a time machine, I would've studied nihonggo so good and go back just to see him again.


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## A-stick-figure (Jan 15, 2021)

Kind of weird in a stalker-y way, but ok...


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## zenmaldita (Jan 15, 2021)

How is that stalkery?


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## A-stick-figure (Jan 15, 2021)

my mistake. Just weird.


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## zenmaldita (Jan 15, 2021)

Is thinking about and wanting to see a crush again weird?


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## Hogo (Jan 15, 2021)

aomagrat said:


> Yep, good old South Carolina. That school was the worst one I ever attended, and I attended a lot of schools (9 schools before graduating high school.)  Luckily it was demolished when they built Richland Memorial Hospital.


I think about our school system a lot in this state, I think a lot of issues of poverty and opportunity begin with our schools and we've got what we call a corridor or shame in this state, I feel very grateful to have gone through k-12 in the upstate where I live because the schools were solid.

Nice to meet a fellow SCer here btw.


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## TyraWadman (Jan 15, 2021)

zenmaldita said:


> I always think about the handsome policeman I met in Tokyo 7 years ago. He's probably married now... Tall, broad shoulders, gentle voice, bright smile...guy's a total catch. If I had a time machine, I would've studied nihonggo so good and go back just to see him again.


....to finally hear him utter the words "I'm taken". OTL


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## aomagrat (Jan 15, 2021)

Hogo said:


> I think about our school system a lot in this state, I think a lot of issues of poverty and opportunity begin with our schools and we've got what we call a corridor or shame in this state, I feel very grateful to have gone through k-12 in the upstate where I live because the schools were solid.
> 
> Nice to meet a fellow SCer here btw.


Oh, yes.  There doesn't seem to be many of us here.


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## zenmaldita (Jan 15, 2021)

TyraWadman said:


> ....to finally hear him utter the words "I'm taken". OTL


when I time travel? nah man, he was single af xD
guy's eyes sparkled when he found out we're in the same age braket lmao


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## zandelux (Jan 15, 2021)

zenmaldita said:


> Is thinking about and wanting to see a crush again weird?



Not at all!


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## DrakkenWulf (Jan 16, 2021)

Kinare said:


> There's so many little events that will randomly pop into my head when there's a trigger to remind me. I can't usually just recall something small without one. Reading some of the other posts reminded me of one.
> 
> While walking out of a Papa Johns once, some random guy, who was quite handsome in my opinion, smiled at me and said "hi". I stumbled and said "hi" back awkwardly. Now, most people's reaction to such a thing might be "owo *blushes* how nice". Me? I'm not the kind of girl people smile at and say "hi". I'm the kind people sneer at and judge. This is literally the only time someone who was good looking ever paid me any positive attention out of the blue, or any stranger at all for that matter. As small as such an incident seemed to him, it sent my brain into one hell of a spiral. He was trying to be nice, maybe he owned or managed the place and just wasn't dressed the part and wanted to be friendly to a customer. That's what I tell myself anyways. Could be he was just someone trying to put a smile on someone's face by being nice. I don't know, never will, but it bugs me a lot.


No idea who you are, what you're like. But if you're a good person, the rest rarely matters. I'm a good-lookin' guy who married my lovely very squishy wifey. God loves us all, and made good people for each of us.


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## A-stick-figure (Jan 16, 2021)

hooray. Philosophy. My favorite. :^]


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## Fallowfox (Jan 17, 2021)

I think a lot of thoughts, about a lot of things.


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## metaphysics (Jan 27, 2021)

Davedd said:


> Ok, so I was probably 5 or 6.  I was just playing with play-doh and I thought to myself, _I will remember this._  Still do.


I have one of these too! I distinctly remember sitting in a desk in second grade while feeling my shoulder muscle spasming, and feeling so aware of the moment, to the point that I fully understood that it was to be forever engraved in my memory by simple virtue of my noticing it


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## Couratiel (Jan 29, 2021)

The eternal perfect chaos that is the Universe itself.
How small we are in comparison to the grand dance of the Cosmos.
Yet so large in comparison to the strings that bind the atoms together.
How the molecules within our bodies were once in the heart of star. The universe is apart of us as much as we are a part of it. From stardust we were born and to stardust we will all inevitably return.
Billions and billions of years has led to this very moment. A moment that allows the Universe to observe itself- to understand itself.


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## Erix (May 4, 2021)

Reading some of these stories has reminded me of a story about me in elemetary school. I remember, it was during recess, a lot of people (myself included) were playing with a bunch of balls and like kicking them at this huge wall. I forget why, but I'm pretty sure we were playing some kind of game. Anyway, one of the school staff had to walk by the wall, and everyone had to stop for a second as she walked past. Me, being the dumb kid I was, decided to still play with the ball I had and kicked the ball towards the wall. I kid you not that as she was walking, I kicked it at exactly the right angle, the right power, was at the right distance, it was just the literal 1/100 chance moment that it would happen, that it ended up bouncing off the wall and ended up hitting her square on the head. Legit just got *headshot, *right on the money. I got in trouble after that of course, and I ended up crying like a baby.

*sigh*

Definitely not one of my brightest moments heh


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