# Worst fortune cookie ever



## Marley (Jun 24, 2010)

"You long to see the Great Pyramids in Egypt."

Thanks for that, and for telling me how to say "bedroom" in Chinese. 

What was yours?


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## Thatch (Jun 24, 2010)

My cookies don't have trash in them.


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## Holsety (Jun 24, 2010)

I don't eat cookies because I am not a fatty


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## Enwon (Jun 24, 2010)

My cookies just give advice, such as:
"Family is the most important thing in your life"
"Success will come if you work towards it"
"Avoid FAF like the plague"
It's usually good avice.


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## Willow (Jun 24, 2010)

Never had any bad fortune cookies

I did have one that said that I would be traveling far soon, coincidentally about a week later my mom called me and said my school's alumni gave me a scholarship to go on a trip to Virginia/DC with my school


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## Marley (Jun 24, 2010)

Thatch said:


> My cookies don't have trash in them.


 
Not that you know.


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## Xenke (Jun 24, 2010)

"tastes like chicken"

I hope to god my cookie didn't taste like chicken.


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## Plantar (Jun 24, 2010)

I had a fortune cookie that implied I should donate to the place I got it at. :I


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## Lobar (Jun 24, 2010)

"Bad luck and misfortune will infest your pathetic soul for all eternity."


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## Ratte (Jun 24, 2010)

Relevant.


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## Thatch (Jun 24, 2010)

Marley said:


> Not that you know.


 
Not pieces of paper.


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## Ricky (Jun 24, 2010)

http://www.aaafunnyvideos.com/pictures/thatwasntchicken.jpg


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## ArielMT (Jun 24, 2010)

This is the worst fortune cookie ever.  Or best, depending on your perspective.

The worst fortune cookie I ever got told me that I'd soon go on an unexpected adventure.  Shortly after, my car broke down and I spent the night in a convenience store parking lot in a small town.


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## Pliio8 (Jun 24, 2010)

They've all been bad except for 

"Idleness is the holiday of fools"

And we all read that, and we couldn't stop laughing because I'm a lazy fuck


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## Tewin Follow (Jun 24, 2010)

ArielMT said:


> This is the worst fortune cookie ever.  Or best, depending on your perspective.
> 
> The worst fortune cookie I ever got told me that I'd soon go on an unexpected adventure.  Shortly after, my car broke down and I spent the night in a convenience store parking lot in a small town.


 
What if... the cookies don't predict these things, but _cause _them?


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## ArielMT (Jun 24, 2010)

Harebelle said:


> What if... the cookies don't predict these things, but _cause _them?


 
You mean like a self-fulfilling prophecy?

Edit: I had planned on a day-trip to the city anyway, and the break-down happened on the return voyage.


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## Stargazer Bleu (Jun 24, 2010)

I always got the advice stuff too.
You will get as much out of things as you put into them.  Kind of things.

Also get lucky loto numbers. Tryed it once, none of the number were right.


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## cruncheweezy (Jun 24, 2010)

Just the standard "You will take a short sea voyage" and "You will find true love on Flags day"
...Homer Simpson anyone?


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## Ibuuyk (Jun 24, 2010)

"You just lost The Game"
"You will eat another fortune cookie"
"Ahaddjiobadbnm"
"I hate my job"
"You will die one day"

...Those are actually real fortune cookies I've got.


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## Kobu (Jun 24, 2010)

"You like the company of others"

No shit.  Who doesn't?


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## Telnac (Jun 24, 2010)

Not even close, guys.  The worst fortune cookie of them all was one my son got:

"You are living the best days of your life."

He was 6 months old at the time.  FAIL!


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## GatodeCafe (Jun 25, 2010)

I went to chinese buffet today and mine just said _Hallelujah!_

And then it told me how to say lollipop in chinese, which is sort of neat.


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## Ames (Jun 25, 2010)

I'm a fucking asian, so I've seen some rather absurd fortune cookie fortunes.  Far more absurd than anything posted so far.

If I can find my collection of them, I'll scan/photograph them because there's no way you guys will believe me if I just tell you.


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## Kobu (Jun 25, 2010)

JamesB said:


> I'm a fucking asian, so I've seen some rather absurd fortune cookie fortunes.  Far more absurd than anything posted so far.
> 
> If I can find my collection of them, I'll scan/photograph them because there's no way you guys will believe me if I just tell you.


 _Collection?_  Wait.  What?


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## KrazyGermanMutt (Jun 25, 2010)

I have never gotin a bad cookie but if i were to get one i would want it to say " FUCK YOU" and then tell me how to say penis in chinese


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## Gaomoto (Jun 25, 2010)

I only got one that said, Made in China. No lie.


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## Ames (Jun 25, 2010)

Kobu said:


> _Collection?_  Wait.  What?


 
I keep interesting and/or absurd fortunes. :V

Also a few laughably specific ones that actually fucking came true.


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## Slyck (Jun 25, 2010)

"That's not tobacco, man."


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## Smelge (Jun 25, 2010)

"You are gluten intolerant"


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## Mayonnaise (Jun 25, 2010)

I can't find any fortune cookies in my country...


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## Syradact (Jun 25, 2010)

The worst fortune cookies I've had said nothing.

They were without a fortune entirely.


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## Stargazer Bleu (Jun 25, 2010)

This fortune cookie was not a instant fortune. Please try again.


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## Len_5 (Jun 25, 2010)

This was from the other day I had two, 

#1: 
    "If you are still hungry, have another fortune cookie"
Learn in Chinese: Christmas (It was chinese food for my dad on fathers day by the way)

#2:
    "No snow flake in an avalanche ever feels responsible."
Learn in Chinese: Father's Day

...........I don't even question these things anymore..........damn asians.


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## Tycho (Jun 25, 2010)

"Reply hazy.  Try again later."

Seriously? You stole a worthless saying from a magic 8-ball?

And then there's the lucky numbers on the back of the paper.


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## Viva (Jun 25, 2010)

"You would make a good lawyer."

Thanks...for that...fortune cookie...>_>


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## Tycho (Jun 25, 2010)

Len_5 said:


> #2:
> "No snow flake in an avalanche ever feels responsible."


 
Actually, that makes sense.  The herd mentality that people succumb to tends to make it easier for them to absolve themselves of responsibility for problems/disasters caused by the "herd".

Also, fortune cookies = purely American.  They came from San Fran Chinatown.  Never from China.  As American as chop suey.


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## Kangamutt (Jun 25, 2010)

Lobar said:


> "Bad luck and misfortune will infest your pathetic soul for all eternity."


 
Oh, fishsticks.


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