# Can someone "redline" this for me? NSFW story.



## shebawolf145 (Oct 7, 2008)

I wrote a story...or part of a story and I was wondering if someone could edit it or "redline" it.

Thanks...

BTW Story is NSFW


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## foozzzball (Oct 7, 2008)

In what fashion is it NSFW?


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## shebawolf145 (Oct 7, 2008)

foozzzball said:


> In what fashion is it NSFW?



There is yiff in the story, and soft blood and gore.


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## foozzzball (Oct 8, 2008)

I'm not quite sure what you were looking for - redlining in art doesn't quite apply to written work - but I've taken a stab at making some notes for you (between square brackets) in the absence of anyone else taking a shot at it. 

If you could describe a little more clearly what you were looking for by way of 'redlining', I could take another stab at it.

Attachment still NSFW. Not a huge fan of the NSFW. < I'm such a prude.


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## shebawolf145 (Oct 8, 2008)

foozzzball said:


> I'm not quite sure what you were looking for - redlining in art doesn't quite apply to written work - but I've taken a stab at making some notes for you (between square brackets) in the absence of anyone else taking a shot at it.
> 
> If you could describe a little more clearly what you were looking for by way of 'redlining', I could take another stab at it.
> 
> Attachment still NSFW. Not a huge fan of the NSFW. < I'm such a prude.



yea... I know that redlining doesn't work for writing...I said it for lack of better words.

Thank you for doing this for me...it was kind of an akward part of the story..it may be the beginning but there is stuff before this part that reader doesn't know until later.
The reason she wasn't scared of the stranger wolf is because he knew her name. 
Anyways thanks again for your help and I will try to do some altering.


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