# Does anyone on here like dark humor?



## EdgyMemeLord0 (Oct 16, 2016)

Do you like it?
If yes, leave some jokes here


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## Somnium (Oct 16, 2016)

Bloodpanda absolutely loves it


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## Sergei Sóhomo (Oct 16, 2016)

Shit's good if timed right and not forced


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## RileyTheOtter (Oct 16, 2016)

Where'd little Tommy go during the bombing? Everywhere
What's black, white, and red all over? Nuns in a blender.


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## EdgyMemeLord0 (Oct 16, 2016)

How do you get ten babies in a bowl?

-With a mixer

And how do you get them out of the bowl?

-With nachos


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## EdgyMemeLord0 (Oct 16, 2016)

Abyssalrider said:


> Where'd little Tommy go during the bombing? Everywhere
> What's black, white, and red all over? Nuns in a blender.


I like the first one, good job, you made me laugh!


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## Stormi (Oct 16, 2016)

Love it? I salivate over it.


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## nerdbat (Oct 16, 2016)

A good one, as Sergei put it. Black comedy opens many tricks and opportunities for something hilarious, but it's also much easier to completely fail at it and piss off somebody you don't want to. Good black humor requires either a developed sense of tone (something like George Carlin), or punchlines/acting funny enough to afford offensiveness of the content (stuff like Filthy Frank) - otherwise, it would be both shitty and insulting.


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## Okami_No_Heishi (Oct 16, 2016)

Ok. Here we go. What's black and blue and green all over? Dead baby.


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## Sergei Sóhomo (Oct 16, 2016)

Okami_No_Heishi said:


> Ok. Here we go. What's black and blue and green all over? Dead baby.



See stuff like this is just edgy. Poor timing and pretty forced like Spock's acting


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## Okami_No_Heishi (Oct 16, 2016)

Bill was in a terrible accident. His hand was accidentally amputated at work by a saw. The doctors decided he would be a great recipient of a new ,fully function ,voice activated prosthetic hand. Bill was all for it. The thought of living without a hand was too much for Bill. And the surgery was a complete success. Later, Bill demonstrated for the doctors the things the hand could do with his new hand. He told it to hold a cup, and it did. He told it to hold a pen so he could write. And it did. The doctors were amazed. Later, Bill woke up from a good long nap to discover that his dick was erect. He held up the sheet and stared at his erection. Then he got an idea. He said, "Hand, jerk off my dick.", in a low voice. Instantly, and almost to fast to see, his new hand reached and grabbed Bill's penis, and ripped it clean off his body!! Bill shreaked in terror as blood shot everywhere!!! Then he screamed in a loud voice, "FUCKK MEEE!!", in dismayed terror!! And the new hand, still clutching his severed penis, began to fuck Bill with his own dick!! 
THE END


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## Okami_No_Heishi (Oct 16, 2016)

Sergei Sóhomo said:


> See stuff like this is just edgy. Poor timing and pretty forced like Spock's acting


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## Okami_No_Heishi (Oct 16, 2016)

How does Helen Keller drive?
One hand on the wheel, one hand on the road!


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## Okami_No_Heishi (Oct 16, 2016)

Sergei Sóhomo said:


> See stuff like this is just edgy. Poor timing and pretty forced like Spock's acting


I know YOU have to have a dark humor joke rattling around up there! Tell us.


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## Sergei Sóhomo (Oct 16, 2016)

Okami_No_Heishi said:


> I know YOU have to have a dark humor joke rattling around up there! Tell us.



Wow okay I'm insulted by what you're insinuating


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## Arck (Oct 16, 2016)

I really like black humor or just edgy jokes. I know a lot of them and they're way more funny than normal jokes
For example:
What is inedible part of the vegetable?
Respirator


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## Sergei Sóhomo (Oct 16, 2016)

Arck said:


> I really like black humor or just edgy jokes. I know a lot of them and they're way more funny than normal jokes
> For example:
> What is inedible part of the vegetable?
> Respirator



Fucking shit like this is what gets me a good chuckle or 2


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## Arck (Oct 16, 2016)

Sergei Sóhomo said:


> Fucking shit like this is what gets me a good chuckle or 2


Oh thank you


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## Zaedrin (Oct 16, 2016)

*THIS:*


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## Toby_Morpheus (Oct 16, 2016)

How do you make a baby cry?
Drop it.

How do you make a baby stop crying?
Drop it again.


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## Okami_No_Heishi (Oct 16, 2016)

Zaedrin said:


> *THIS:*


Touche Satan.


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## Okami_No_Heishi (Oct 16, 2016)

Prometheus_Fox said:


> How do you make a baby cry?
> Drop it.
> 
> How do you make a baby stop crying?
> Drop it again.


Omg!!


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## Zaedrin (Oct 16, 2016)

Okami_No_Heishi said:


> Touche Satan.



"Everyone likes a wee jokey-joke."


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## Okami_No_Heishi (Oct 16, 2016)

Zaedrin said:


> *THIS:*


Omg! This was fukin hilarious!!


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## Zaedrin (Oct 16, 2016)

Okami_No_Heishi said:


> Omg! This was fukin hilarious!!



He needs to end his hiatus as soon as possible. He was actually in _Grand Theft Auto IV: Lost And Damned. _


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## Toby_Morpheus (Oct 16, 2016)

Okami_No_Heishi said:


> Omg!!


What's the worst thing about fucking a dead baby?

Getting the blood out of your clown suit.


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## InpuOsirisson (Oct 16, 2016)

Prometheus_Fox said:


> What's the worst thing about fucking a dead baby?
> 
> Getting the blood out of your clown suit.




What a classic


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## Zaedrin (Oct 16, 2016)

Each video speaks for itself.


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## Okami_No_Heishi (Oct 16, 2016)

I'm still 


Okami_No_Heishi said:


> Omg! This was fukin hilarious!!


watching this. Choking on my tea now!! Omg!!


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## InpuOsirisson (Oct 16, 2016)




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## Okami_No_Heishi (Oct 16, 2016)

InpuOsirisson said:


>


Jesus Christ!! That's not supossed to be funny! But it was!! Does that mean I'm evil?FUCK!


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## JumboWumbo (Oct 16, 2016)

Not my profile btw I just found this on the internet.


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## Okami_No_Heishi (Oct 16, 2016)

JumboWumbo said:


> Not my profile btw I just found this on the internet.


What a mic!


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## Toby_Morpheus (Oct 16, 2016)

Cobain was a hell of an artist.

A real modern Jackson Pollock


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## Okami_No_Heishi (Oct 16, 2016)

Prometheus_Fox said:


> Cobain was a hell of an artist.
> 
> A real modern Jackson Pollock


I was in high school when the news came out. Mid day at lunch the news spread like wildfire. Sad day. It was about as shocking as Iraq invading Kuwait.


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## Toby_Morpheus (Oct 16, 2016)

Okami_No_Heishi said:


> I was in high school when the news came out. Mid day at lunch the news spread like wildfire. Sad day. It was about as shocking as Iraq invading Kuwait.


So nobody actually cared, though they said they did in passing?


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## Okami_No_Heishi (Oct 16, 2016)

Prometheus_Fox said:


> So nobody actually cared, though they said they did in passing?


Oh no! A lot of crying. A lot of disbelief. It was a bad day. I sure missed him. Still do. His unplugged version of A Man Who Sold The World was beautiful to me.


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## Toby_Morpheus (Oct 16, 2016)

Okami_No_Heishi said:


> Oh no! A lot of crying. A lot of disbelief. It was a bad day. I sure missed him. Still do. His unplugged version of A Man Who Sold The World was beautiful to me.


Huh.

So does this mean you purposely avoided responding to the Pollock joke?
... or... did you not get it?

Because Pollock is famous for splatter paintings.


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## EdgyMemeLord0 (Oct 17, 2016)

Prometheus_Fox said:


> Huh.
> 
> So does this mean you purposely avoided responding to the Pollock joke?
> ... or... did you not get it?
> ...


Here we have the original piece of artwork: "Brain on the wall" by Kurt Cobain
Rick Harrison: Best I can do is 25$

Sorry, I couldn't come up with something creative, I just woke up


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## Casey Fluffbat (Oct 17, 2016)

College is like a marathon; you move at a pretty steady pace, but everything just blows up at the finish line.


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## EdgyMemeLord0 (Oct 17, 2016)

Here are some 9/11 Jokes

Who were the fastest readers? 
The 9/11 suicide jumpers, some of them went through 90 stories in a few seconds.

My dad called me on the 11 September 2001. He died there. His last words were: "Allahu Akbar"

What was the last thing going through the minds of the 9/11 suicide jumpers? 
Their ankles.


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## ChapterAquila92 (Oct 17, 2016)

What do you call a Paki with a turban?
Pull start.

What do you call a Paki with a dot on his forehead?
Push start.

What do you call a Paki with a boner?
Kick start.

--

What do you call a hundred Mexicans running down a hill?
Mudslide.

What do you call a hundred Whites running down a hill?
Avalanche.

What do you call a hundred Blacks running down a hill?
Prison Break.

--

How was copper wire invented?
Two Jews fighting over a penny.

What's faster than a speeding bullet?
A Jew with a coupon.


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## Okami_No_Heishi (Oct 17, 2016)

Prometheus_Fox said:


> Huh.
> 
> So does this mean you purposely avoided responding to the Pollock joke?
> ... or... did you not get it?
> ...


Sorry, Prometheus. I honestly didn't get the joke. I now who Jackson is too. It just didn't click. But now that I know, it was funny.


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## Okami_No_Heishi (Oct 17, 2016)

ChapterAquila92 said:


> What do you call a Paki with a turban?
> Pull start.
> 
> What do you call a Paki with a dot on his forehead?
> ...


Oh my.


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## ChapterAquila92 (Oct 17, 2016)

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza?
Pizzas don't scream when they go into the oven.

Why did Hitler stop killing the Jews?
He saw his gas bill.

--

Why did Helen Keller burn herself?
She answered the phone while ironing.
Why did she burn the other cheek?
They called back.

Why did Helen Keller masturbate with only one hand?
She needs the other hand to moan.

--

Why does Michael Jackson like twenty-eight-year-olds?
There's twenty of them.

Why did Michael Jackson go to Walmart?
He heard that boys' pants were 50% off.

With the amount of plastic in his body and against his family's wishes, Michael Jackson couldn't be cremated due to the environmental hazards, so they turned him into dolls so that kids can play with him for a change.


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## Wolveon (Oct 17, 2016)

What's the difference between a boy scout and a Jew?
The boy scout comes home from camp.


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## EdgyMemeLord0 (Oct 17, 2016)

Wow, some of these are actually pretty damn hilarious


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## Arck (Oct 17, 2016)

Dark humor is like a kid with cancer
It never gets old

Where is the majority of the Jews?
In the atmosphere 

What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza?
Pizza doesn't scream in the oven

Why children in Africa spend more time outdoors than other children?
Because mom doesn't call them for a dinner


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## RileyTheOtter (Oct 17, 2016)

Why'd Johnny drop his drop his ice cream? He was hit by a truck


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## EdgyMemeLord0 (Oct 17, 2016)

Abyssalrider said:


> Why'd Johnny drop his drop his ice cream? He was hit by a truck


Thst one was a little bit lame


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## Jarren (Oct 17, 2016)

"Hello, suicide hotline."
"I've been losing hope lately, it doesn't seem like life's worth living."
"Well, how can I help?"
"I've got a gun to my head, but I just can't pull the trigger. Is there still hope?"
"Yes sir, there is! Simply flip the safety off and you'll be ready-"
*BANG!*
"Sir? Sir? Hello?"
.....
"Typical. They never say thank you."


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## Zaedrin (Oct 18, 2016)

A man walks into a bar. His alcohol dependency is tearing his family apart.


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## RileyTheOtter (Oct 18, 2016)

(this is some real dark humor)
An Irishman walks out of a bar...What? It could happen.


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## TeslaSkunk (Oct 18, 2016)

Months ago in the UK, because they failed to meet the child poverty goal, they changed the definition of poverty to cheat their way out.

It wouldn't be the first time politicians fucked children.


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## Very Hairy Larry (Oct 18, 2016)

Abyssalrider said:


> (this is some real dark humor)
> An Irishman walks out of a bar...What? It could happen.


That was....pretty lame.


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## TeslaSkunk (Oct 18, 2016)

What do you call a black ginger?....

Crunchie.


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## RileyTheOtter (Oct 18, 2016)

A wife continues to repeatedly burn the meals she makes for her husband, who demands a divorce citing the reason as: "at least Hitler could use an oven"


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## TeslaSkunk (Oct 18, 2016)

A car full of black guys falls off a cliff into the sea, killing everyone inside.

The white guy who witnessed this starts to cry.

Because he realised he could have fit two more in the boot.


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## Sl0shy (Oct 18, 2016)

dark humor is like food. not everyone gets it


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## JumboWumbo (Oct 18, 2016)

Wolveon said:


> What's the difference between a boy scout and a Jew?
> The boy scout comes home from camp.



Oy vey.


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## FonzieThSuperWizard (Oct 18, 2016)

Swinging a ferret in a bag in 20 cycles. X3


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## JumboWumbo (Oct 18, 2016)

FonzieThSuperWizard said:


> Swinging a ferret in a bag in 20 cycles. X3



Well that's rude.


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## ChapterAquila92 (Oct 19, 2016)

How many Jews can you fit in a car?
2 in the front, 3 in the back, and 6 million in the ashtray.

A seal walks into a club. [beat]

Why do Blacks have white palms?
God spray-painted them black when they were on all fours.



Arck said:


> Why children in Africa spend more time outdoors than other children?
> Because mom doesn't call them for a dinner


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## RileyTheOtter (Oct 19, 2016)

Spoiler: Dark Humor Memes






Spoiler: Meme 1











Spoiler: Meme 2


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## Yakamaru (Oct 19, 2016)




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## Casey Fluffbat (Oct 19, 2016)

Yakamaru said:


>


This basically describes the HuffPost pretty accurately as well.


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## Okami_No_Heishi (Oct 20, 2016)

Yakamaru said:


>


I dont know why but this made me laugh hysterically!!


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## Yakamaru (Oct 20, 2016)

Okami_No_Heishi said:


> I dont know why but this made me laugh hysterically!!


Pretty much the media's take on Muslims. Always spin and twist it into being something completely different.


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## Okami_No_Heishi (Oct 20, 2016)

Yakamaru said:


> Pretty much the media's take on Muslims. Always spin and twist it into being something completely different.


So true. As they do everything nowadays.


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## Yakamaru (Oct 20, 2016)

Okami_No_Heishi said:


> So true. As they do everything nowadays.


To quote George Orwell: "In a time of universal deceit - telling the truth is a revolutionary act._"
_
And another good one: "Political language. . . is designed to make lies sound truthful and murder respectable, and to give an appearance of solidity to pure wind."


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## ElZorroValdez (Oct 20, 2016)

White people.


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## bhutrflai (Oct 20, 2016)




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## Yakamaru (Oct 20, 2016)

bhutrflai said:


> View attachment 14245


Harr harr harr harr. Someone's a complete idiot. <3


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## FonzieThSuperWizard (Oct 20, 2016)

JumboWumbo said:


> Well that's rude.


I didn't know better. I was a kid. X3


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## EdgyMemeLord0 (Oct 20, 2016)

bhutrflai said:


> View attachment 14245


That one was nice!


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## ChapterAquila92 (Oct 20, 2016)




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## Jarren (Oct 20, 2016)

What was the last thing to go through the minds of the Orlando shooting victims?
Bullets.


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## zeroslash (Oct 20, 2016)

Yes, I think black people are hilarious!


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## Jarren (Oct 20, 2016)

Spoiler: Click For Express Ticket To Hell


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## Yakamaru (Oct 20, 2016)




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## Jarren (Oct 20, 2016)

Spoiler: Large image


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## Okami_No_Heishi (Oct 20, 2016)

Jarren said:


> Spoiler: Click For Express Ticket To Hell


Whoever laughed at any of these are definitely going to hell. SEE YOU ALL THERE!!!


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## RileyTheOtter (Oct 20, 2016)

Okami_No_Heishi said:


> Whoever laughed at any of these are definitely going to hell. SEE YOU ALL THERE!!!


I'll see you there, maybe I'll help you get a job in landscaping with me. (assuming your a pyro like me)


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## Okami_No_Heishi (Oct 20, 2016)

Abyssalrider said:


> I'll see you there, maybe I'll help you get a job in landscaping with me. (assuming your a pyro like me)


I can be. I do like my plumbers torch!


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## bhutrflai (Oct 20, 2016)

Abyssalrider said:


> I'll see you there, maybe I'll help you get a job in landscaping with me. (assuming your a pyro like me)


He starts fires with a blowtorch. I'd think it's safe to say he's a pyro.


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## Okami_No_Heishi (Oct 20, 2016)

bhutrflai said:


> He starts fires with a blowtorch. I'd think it's safe to say he's a pyro.


Gets the job done with less huffing and puffing!


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## Okami_No_Heishi (Oct 20, 2016)

Okami_No_Heishi said:


> Gets the job done with less huffing and puffing!


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## bhutrflai (Oct 20, 2016)




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## Very Hairy Larry (Oct 20, 2016)




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## Casey Fluffbat (Oct 20, 2016)

Very Hairy Larry said:


>



There's no double combined smooth half-slab block

TRIGGERED



bhutrflai said:


> View attachment 14283



I have never been told not to lick someone growing up. Is that some sort of urban parenting precaution?


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## EdgyMemeLord0 (Oct 21, 2016)




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## Yakamaru (Oct 23, 2016)

Awww, they blow up so young.


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## Jarren (Oct 23, 2016)




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## Yakamaru (Oct 23, 2016)




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## Yakamaru (Oct 23, 2016)




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## ChapterAquila92 (Oct 23, 2016)

Yakamaru said:


> Awww, they blow up so young.


You're forgetting the whole flashback here.


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## EdgyMemeLord0 (Oct 23, 2016)

ChapterAquila92 said:


> You're forgetting the whole flashback here.


Pure awesomeness


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## Notkastar (Oct 23, 2016)

(¬‿¬)


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## ChapterAquila92 (Oct 23, 2016)

Notkastar said:


> (¬‿¬)


The last sentence was sufficient for the joke. The rest is just downright cruel.


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## EdgyMemeLord0 (Oct 23, 2016)

ChapterAquila92 said:


> The last sentence was sufficient for the joke. The rest is just downright cruel.


The rest is just "Art"


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## ChapterAquila92 (Oct 23, 2016)

EdgyMemeLord0 said:


> The rest is just "Art"


I may be a psychopomp with a Xanatos complex and a desire to earn the Vlad Tepes Award for Excellence, but even I have standards when it comes to that kind of cruelty.

There's the cruel things that children come up with for jokes because they don't know any better, and then there's the horror that mentally disturbed adults come up with.

Seriousness aside:

Why did Joseph Kony take twenty-eight-year-olds from that burning village?
He needed 20 more soldiers for his army.


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## Notkastar (Oct 23, 2016)

ChapterAquila92 said:


> I may be a psychopomp with a Xanatos complex and a desire to earn the Vlad Tepes Award for Excellence, but even I have standards when it comes to that kind of cruelty.
> 
> There's the cruel things that innocent children come up with for jokes because they don't know any better, and then there's the horror that mentally disturbed adults come up with.
> 
> ...



Dude your missing the point of the Joke.
Yes that is pretty messed up but, that's the point.

With a set up as black luster as 'Why would a chicken cross the road' You would expect a punchline as dull as that.
Not that the other person would actually give you a serious reply. The humor doesn't come from what the person is saying exactly, It comes from how unexpected and left-field the the 'punch-line' just got.


It's in the delivery dood,
From going with a joke set up, Dead serious deliveryand back to jokey on the final line.
Also how he still adds the punch-line in at the end like all up there was just filler


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## ChapterAquila92 (Oct 23, 2016)

Notkastar said:


> Dude I think your missing the point of the Joke.
> Yes that is pretty messed up but, that's the point.
> 
> With a set up as black luster as 'Why would a chicken cross the road, You would expect a punchline as dull as that.
> ...


I suppose if someone finds humour in a distraction whose sole _raison d'être_ is shock factor.

Alas, I find that kind of humour to have the wit of a brick.


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## Notkastar (Oct 23, 2016)

ChapterAquila92 said:


> I suppose if someone finds humour in a distraction whose sole _raison d'être_ is shock factor.
> 
> Alas, I find that kind of humour to have the wit of a brick.



(Shock Humor, That's was word I was looking for =)

"To each there own man"
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Just thought I'd point out to look at the joke as a whole rather then just one part
because that's the only way a joke can really work ya know?

Also, Why the million dollar words?
Not saying it's wrong to use them but, I don't see why outside of writing an essay.


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## Very Hairy Larry (Oct 23, 2016)

ChapterAquila92 said:


> I may be a psychopomp with a Xanatos complex and a desire to earn the Vlad Tepes Award for Excellence, but even I have standards when it comes to that kind of cruelty.
> 
> There's the cruel things that children come up with for jokes because they don't know any better, and then there's the horror that mentally disturbed adults come up with.


For the love of god, don't turn into another Okami...


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## Jarren (Oct 23, 2016)

Very Hairy Larry said:


> For the love of god, don't turn into another Okami...


You seem to be rather fixated on that disagreement you two have. Just move on, dude.


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## ChapterAquila92 (Oct 23, 2016)

Notkastar said:


> Just thought I'd point out to look at the joke as a whole rather then just one part
> because that's the only way a joke can really work ya know?


It's called analysis. I tend to do it a lot.


> Also, Why the million dollar words?
> Not saying it's wrong to use them but, I don't see why outside of writing an essay.


Because I'm an educated Canadian who can communicate in both official languages, and proud of it.

_Hon hon hon._


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## Yakamaru (Oct 23, 2016)

Because we don't have enough violence and rape already. <3


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## ChapterAquila92 (Oct 23, 2016)

Also, speaking of Canada, there's a program in its military geared towards eliminating sexual harassment in the ranks.

Its short form is Op Honour.

Now, say that aloud in as French of an accent as you can.


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## ChapterAquila92 (Oct 23, 2016)

Yakamaru said:


> Because we don't have enough violence and rape already. <3


All these worlds are yours except Europa. Attempt no landings there.


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## Okami_No_Heishi (Oct 24, 2016)

ChapterAquila92 said:


> All these worlds are yours except Europa. Attempt no landings there.


2010! What a movie!!


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## Tigers-on-Unicycles (Oct 27, 2016)

I like my men like I like my peas -frozen and in a bag.


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## Tigers-on-Unicycles (Oct 27, 2016)

How do you make a cat sound like a dog?

Douse it in lighter fluid, toss in a match and it goes WOOF


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## Tigers-on-Unicycles (Oct 27, 2016)




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## Casey Fluffbat (Oct 27, 2016)

Tigers-on-Unicycles said:


>



Not be a killjoy here, but I don't get why the punchline is so great. Chickens can be some mean-ass cannibals, man. My Gma has a farmette with chickens, and they will eat a cracked egg or pick at a wound of another chicken until it dies. I've seen it happen.


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## Okami_No_Heishi (Oct 27, 2016)

Tigers-on-Unicycles said:


> I like my men like I like my peas -frozen and in a bag.


Thats some funny shit!#


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## Okami_No_Heishi (Oct 27, 2016)

Tigers-on-Unicycles said:


> How do you make a cat sound like a dog?
> 
> Douse it in lighter fluid, toss in a match and it goes WOOF


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## Okami_No_Heishi (Oct 27, 2016)

MadKiyo said:


> Not be a killjoy here, but I don't get why the punchline is so great. Chickens can be some mean-ass cannibals, man. My Gma has a farmette with chickens, and they will eat a cracked egg or pick at a wound of another chicken until it dies. I've seen it happen.


Chickens are evil and must be eliminated!!!One wing and one leg at a time!!


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## DuranWolf (Oct 27, 2016)

What is the opposite of Christopher Reeve?

Christopher Walken

For the youngins, you may need to do a little research on Reeve.


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## DuranWolf (Oct 27, 2016)

Here's another one:

What do an airport and an illegal abortion have in common?

The hanger.


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## Tigers-on-Unicycles (Oct 27, 2016)

Roses are red
Violets are blue
That's what they tell me
Because I'm blind


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## bhutrflai (Oct 27, 2016)

Did you hear about the deaf guy down the street? 


He didn't hear about you either.


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## Okami_No_Heishi (Oct 27, 2016)

Yo mama is so hunchback,
She has to wear a snorkle to do the dishes.


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## bhutrflai (Oct 27, 2016)

Okami_No_Heishi said:


> Yo mama is so hunchback,
> She has to wear a snorkle to do the dishes.


(You stole MY joke!!)


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## bhutrflai (Oct 27, 2016)

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
Cause it was dead. 

Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?
Monkey see, monkey do.

Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Cause it was stapled to the second one.


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## DuranWolf (Oct 27, 2016)

I kinda feel bad about making that abortion joke.  I seriously don't think abortion is funny.


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## Okami_No_Heishi (Oct 27, 2016)

DuranWolf said:


> I kinda feel bad about making that abortion joke.  I seriously don't think abortion is funny.


But it's only dark humor. It's ok.


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## Okami_No_Heishi (Oct 27, 2016)

DuranWolf said:


> I kinda feel bad about making that abortion joke.  I seriously don't think abortion is funny.


Just don't tell it at the RNC convention.


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## bhutrflai (Oct 27, 2016)

DuranWolf said:


> I kinda feel bad about making that abortion joke.  I seriously don't think abortion is funny.


It was edgy for sure, but there have been a few of those on this thread already.


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## Okami_No_Heishi (Oct 27, 2016)

bhutrflai said:


> It was edgy for sure, but there have been a few of those on this thread already.


I don't mind humor if I think it's funny. That one gif of the Gamecube logo with a chicken getting blown away by a shotgun was hilarious as f. Shouldn't be, but it was.


----------



## Tigers-on-Unicycles (Oct 28, 2016)

Okay, confession. When my sister's dog died she insisted that she didn't want anybody feeling sorry for her and making sad faces and hugging because that's not how she deals with things, so I made a joke about how good her dog was at playing dead.


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Oct 28, 2016)

Tigers-on-Unicycles said:


> Okay, confession. When my sister's dog died she insisted that she didn't want anybody feeling sorry for her and making sad faces and hugging because that's not how she deals with things, so I made a joke about how good her dog was at playing dead.


Oops! Did she laugh?


----------



## Tigers-on-Unicycles (Oct 28, 2016)

Okami_No_Heishi said:


> Oops! Did she laugh?


Well, yes. That's just how we are.


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Oct 28, 2016)

Tigers-on-Unicycles said:


> Well, yes. That's just how we are.


Same.


----------



## Yakamaru (Oct 28, 2016)




----------



## RileyTheOtter (Oct 28, 2016)

Did you see the blind guy that fell off a cliff?
He didn't see it either.


----------



## Yakamaru (Oct 28, 2016)




----------



## EdgyMemeLord0 (Oct 28, 2016)

How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles?

Nail it's other hand to the floor
----------------------------------------------------------------
How do you get ten babies in a bowl?

With a blender


And how do you get them out of there?

With nachos


----------



## bhutrflai (Oct 28, 2016)




----------



## DuranWolf (Oct 28, 2016)

Seriously, everyone.  I apologize for making that abortion joke.  I don't want to be hated.


----------



## Very Hairy Larry (Oct 28, 2016)

DuranWolf said:


> Seriously, everyone.  I apologize for making that abortion joke.  I don't want to be hated.


geezus chryst, dude. It's alright. Take it easy xD


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Oct 28, 2016)

DuranWolf said:


> Seriously, everyone.  I apologize for making that abortion joke.  I don't want to be hated.


Duran, we aren't all card carrying members of the prolife movement. It's ok buddy. It was just a joke, and MOST of us are mature enough to realize that.


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Oct 28, 2016)




----------



## DuranWolf (Oct 28, 2016)

Very Hairy Larry said:


> geezus chryst, dude. It's alright. Take it easy xD


I'm cool.


----------



## DuranWolf (Oct 28, 2016)

Okami_No_Heishi said:


> Duran, we aren't all card carrying members of the prolife movement. It's ok buddy. It was just a joke, and MOST of us are mature enough to realize that.


Thanks, Okami. I'm good now.


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Oct 28, 2016)

DuranWolf said:


> Thanks, Okami. I'm good now.


You're Welcome!


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Oct 28, 2016)

Is this dark enough?


----------



## bhutrflai (Oct 28, 2016)

Okami_No_Heishi said:


> Is this dark enough?


It's only a flesh wound.


----------



## bhutrflai (Oct 28, 2016)




----------



## EdgyMemeLord0 (Oct 29, 2016)

I have one that only works in my native language but I'll try to explain it

"Was haben Boris Becker und Lady Diana gemeinsam? Einen Aufschlag mit 130 km/h"

Freely translated it would be
"What do Boris Becker and Lady Diana have in common? An impact with 130 km/h"

It only works in german tho because "Aufschlag" can mean "impact" and "serve" (you know, that what you do in tennis when you start the match and hit the ball for the first time and bring it to the opponent's side.... i can't explain pretty good, lol)

I hope that at least one person understood it XD


----------



## Yakamaru (Oct 29, 2016)

Wanna hear best joke of 2016?

"Islam is a religion of peace".


----------



## bhutrflai (Oct 29, 2016)

EdgyMemeLord0 said:


> I have one that only works in my native language but I'll try to explain it
> 
> "Was haben Boris Becker und Lady Diana gemeinsam? Einen Aufschlag mit 130 km/h"
> 
> ...


I got it. Wouldn't have w/o the explanation, but I got it


----------



## bhutrflai (Oct 29, 2016)




----------



## bhutrflai (Oct 29, 2016)




----------



## bhutrflai (Oct 29, 2016)




----------



## JumboWumbo (Oct 29, 2016)

bhutrflai said:


> View attachment 14546


That's a vegan, silly. They aren't people.

Neither are Canadians.


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Oct 29, 2016)

JumboWumbo said:


> That's a vegan, silly. They aren't people.
> 
> Neither are Canadians.


Lol


----------



## ChapterAquila92 (Oct 30, 2016)

JumboWumbo said:


> Neither are Canadians.


Yeah, we're eldritch abominations whose schemes involve being super-friendly to your peons as a means to pacify them for our own purposes.

Sorry, eh?


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Oct 30, 2016)




----------



## bhutrflai (Oct 30, 2016)




----------



## bhutrflai (Oct 31, 2016)




----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Oct 31, 2016)

bhutrflai said:


> View attachment 14619


Somnium is gonna love this!


----------



## bhutrflai (Oct 31, 2016)

Okami_No_Heishi said:


> Somnium is gonna love this!


Yep. Prob a little too much.


----------



## bhutrflai (Oct 31, 2016)

Happy Halloween!!


----------



## bhutrflai (Oct 31, 2016)




----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Nov 1, 2016)

bhutrflai said:


> View attachment 14665


And yall wonder what the Colonel puts in his chicken!


----------



## bhutrflai (Nov 1, 2016)

Okami_No_Heishi said:


> And yall wonder what the Colonel puts in his chicken!


But it's some damn good chicken!


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Nov 1, 2016)

bhutrflai said:


> But it's some damn good chicken!


Nothing like some tasty big bird wings and nuggets. Mmmmgoood!


----------



## EdgyMemeLord0 (Nov 1, 2016)




----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Nov 1, 2016)

EdgyMemeLord0 said:


>


Oops! Too soon? Nah! 22 years!!!Not too soon! Lmao


----------



## EdgyMemeLord0 (Nov 1, 2016)

Spoiler: that one might be mean


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Nov 1, 2016)

EdgyMemeLord0 said:


> Spoiler: that one might be mean


Hehe!


----------



## EdgyMemeLord0 (Nov 1, 2016)

She did nazi the germans coming.....


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Nov 1, 2016)

EdgyMemeLord0 said:


> She did nazi the germans coming.....


Ooooooooooh! Edgy af!!


----------



## bhutrflai (Nov 1, 2016)




----------



## bhutrflai (Nov 1, 2016)




----------



## EdgyMemeLord0 (Nov 1, 2016)

I like my women like I like my wine, 8 years old and locked up in the cellar.


----------



## Yakamaru (Nov 1, 2016)

"There's safety in numbers."
"Oh yeah? Tell that to 6 million Jews."


----------



## bhutrflai (Nov 1, 2016)




----------



## bhutrflai (Nov 1, 2016)




----------



## EdgyMemeLord0 (Nov 2, 2016)




----------



## EdgyMemeLord0 (Nov 2, 2016)

I was checking my phone......
Then all of the sudden the realisation hit me like a Boeing 737


----------



## -Belle- (Nov 2, 2016)

I like making fun of SJW's, does that count?


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Nov 2, 2016)

EdgyMemeLord0 said:


> I was checking my phone......
> Then all of the sudden the realisation hit me like a Boeing 737


Oops


----------



## heteroclite (Nov 2, 2016)

I like dark humor, but most people don't like it.









Fuck me, I guess.


----------



## zoinky (Nov 2, 2016)

I bet I just killed a lot of furries with this post to........


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Nov 2, 2016)

zoinky said:


> I bet I just killed a lot of furries with this post to........


Poor kitty


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Nov 2, 2016)

Okami_No_Heishi said:


> Poor kitty


Did anyone else cry when Muffassa died. I did.


----------



## EdgyMemeLord0 (Nov 2, 2016)

9gag.com: This is pure evil!


----------



## zoinky (Nov 2, 2016)

Okami_No_Heishi said:


> Did anyone else cry when Muffassa died. I did.


i cried when i was a kid it was a sad movie


----------



## zoinky (Nov 2, 2016)

EdgyMemeLord0 said:


> 9gag.com: This is pure evil!


oh my god this is to funny


----------



## EdgyMemeLord0 (Nov 2, 2016)




----------



## zoinky (Nov 2, 2016)

EdgyMemeLord0 said:


>


I got something better


----------



## EdgyMemeLord0 (Nov 2, 2016)

How do you make a baby cry?
Drop it

How do you stop it from crying?
Drop it again


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Nov 2, 2016)

Omg! 


EdgyMemeLord0 said:


> 9gag.com: This is pure evil!


What an idea!


----------



## zoinky (Nov 2, 2016)

why are black people so good at basket ball?

because they can run shoot and steal!


----------



## ariamis (Nov 2, 2016)




----------



## EdgyMemeLord0 (Nov 2, 2016)

http://9gag.com/gag/ajqARGw?ref=android
Not dark humor but showing off how skillful Bethesda is at making their games


----------



## Storok (Nov 2, 2016)

what's the difference between a pizza and a Jew... The Pizza doesn't scream when it gets put in the oven


----------



## EdgyMemeLord0 (Nov 2, 2016)

Storok said:


> what's the difference between a pizza and a Jew... The Pizza doesn't scream when it gets put in the oven


Haha, I already knew that one but it never gets old, just like a child with cancer


----------



## zoinky (Nov 2, 2016)

EdgyMemeLord0 said:


> Haha, I already knew that one but it never gets old, just like a child with cancer


You are sick like a child with cancer


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Nov 2, 2016)

EdgyMemeLord0 said:


> Haha, I already knew that one but it never gets old, just like a child with cancer


Omg! #ImGoingToHell


----------



## zoinky (Nov 2, 2016)

Okami_No_Heishi said:


> Omg! #ImGoingToHell


Well we will yiff in hell


----------



## EdgyMemeLord0 (Nov 2, 2016)

Okami_No_Heishi said:


> Omg! #ImGoingToHell


Let's meet up in the CEO lounge of Hell!


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Nov 2, 2016)

zoinky said:


> Well we will yiff in hell


Que sara sara.


----------



## EdgyMemeLord0 (Nov 2, 2016)




----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Nov 2, 2016)

EdgyMemeLord0 said:


>


Lmao!!


----------



## EdgyMemeLord0 (Nov 2, 2016)

Okami_No_Heishi said:


> Lmao!!


I can offer you a first-class trip to hell!


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Nov 2, 2016)

EdgyMemeLord0 said:


> I can offer you a first-class trip to hell!


Really. How's that? Are you Satan?


----------



## EdgyMemeLord0 (Nov 2, 2016)

Okami_No_Heishi said:


> Really. How's that? Are you Satan?


No, but I'm his Manager


----------



## Yakamaru (Nov 2, 2016)

Not as dark. Couldn't find anything on a short notice.


----------



## EdgyMemeLord0 (Nov 2, 2016)

Yakamaru said:


> Not as dark. Couldn't find anything on a short notice.


Well, this is as dark as the average girl who drinks pumpin spice latté. Have some practice and make your humor so dark you can refer to it as a shooting range
(Did this one went to far or will Satan give me a raise for it?)


----------



## ariamis (Nov 2, 2016)

i dont give raises that easily. work harder.


----------



## EdgyMemeLord0 (Nov 2, 2016)

ariamis said:


> i dont give raises that easily. work harder.


Successful white men don't need to work, they already have people doing the shit for them!
Also I think I'm going too far now so I'll consider taking a break and post lesser dark humor....


----------



## EdgyMemeLord0 (Nov 2, 2016)




----------



## ChapterAquila92 (Nov 2, 2016)

-Belle- said:


> I like making fun of SJW's, does that count?



I'll just let this one sink in...


----------



## Yakamaru (Nov 2, 2016)




----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Nov 2, 2016)

ChapterAquila92 said:


> I'll just let this one sink in...


Thumb suckers


----------



## ChapterAquila92 (Nov 2, 2016)

Okami_No_Heishi said:


> Thumb suckers


I kind of want to show up to an SJW rally and start handing out pacifiers to the loud ones, offering it to them like they're Snickers bars.


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Nov 3, 2016)

ChapterAquila92 said:


> I kind of want to show up to an SJW rally and start handing out pacifiers to the loud ones, offering it to them like they're Snickers bars.


Probably not a good idea. Unless you want your balls cut off.


----------



## ChapterAquila92 (Nov 3, 2016)

Okami_No_Heishi said:


> Probably not a good idea. Unless you want your balls cut off.


I'd like to see them try.


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Nov 3, 2016)

ChapterAquila92 said:


> I'd like to see them try.


They would over power you, hold you down, and use a rusty pair of scissors to do the deed. Women can be ruthless.


----------



## ChapterAquila92 (Nov 3, 2016)

Okami_No_Heishi said:


> They would over power you, hold you down, and use a rusty pair of scissors to do the deed. Women can be ruthless.


That depends on a lot of factors, but considering that we're talking about adult toddlers with liberal arts degrees, it generally doesn't take much physical force to get them to back off, especially if you can make a visible example out of one of them. Having a weapon and armour never hurts either.

I would exercise more caution around BLM rallies though. They're the level 2 mooks with upgraded equipment slots.


----------



## Mobius (Nov 3, 2016)

ChapterAquila92 said:


> That depends on a lot of factors, but considering that we're talking about adult toddlers with liberal arts degrees, it generally doesn't take much physical force to get them to back off, especially if you can make a visible example out of one of them. Having a weapon and armour never hurts either.
> 
> I would exercise more caution around BLM rallies though. They're the level 2 mooks with upgraded equipment slots.


More like KFC rally.


----------



## ChapterAquila92 (Nov 3, 2016)

Mobius said:


> More like KFC rally.


That's a '60s civil rights protest. BLM rallies need watermelon and purple drink as well.


----------



## Mobius (Nov 3, 2016)

ChapterAquila92 said:


> That's a '60s civil rights protest. BLM rallies need watermelon and purple drink as well.


Also, bass-heavy ghetto music with unintelligible vocals that, once deciphered, will make you wish you never knew what the actual lyrics were.


----------



## thanhlam1793 (Nov 3, 2016)

ElZorroValdez said:


> White people.



Black people.


----------



## ChapterAquila92 (Nov 3, 2016)

thanhlam1793 said:


> Black people.





Spoiler


----------



## EdgyMemeLord0 (Nov 3, 2016)

ChapterAquila92 said:


> Spoiler


Ok........


----------



## ChapterAquila92 (Nov 3, 2016)

EdgyMemeLord0 said:


> Ok........





Spoiler



One of these things you enslave and use in gladiatorial cockfights.

The other is Mr Popo.


----------



## zoinky (Nov 3, 2016)

Black people now that's some real dark humor


----------



## bhutrflai (Nov 3, 2016)

Okami_No_Heishi said:


> They would over power you, hold you down, and use a rusty pair of scissors to do the deed. Women can be ruthless.


Thanks, honey.


----------



## Jarren (Nov 3, 2016)

bhutrflai said:


> Thanks, honey.


I sense a certain wolf getting well acquainted with the couch this evening...


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Nov 3, 2016)

Jarren said:


> I sense a certain wolf getting well acquainted with the couch this evening...


Lol.....maybe. Who knows...


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Nov 3, 2016)

bhutrflai said:


> Thanks, honey.


Just saying honey. Wasn't like I was talking about YOU.


----------



## EdgyMemeLord0 (Nov 3, 2016)




----------



## tucakeane (Nov 4, 2016)

Just found my new favorite thread!


----------



## EdgyMemeLord0 (Nov 5, 2016)

tucakeane said:


> Just found my new favorite thread!


Nice :3


----------



## EdgyMemeLord0 (Nov 5, 2016)




----------



## DravenDonovan (Nov 5, 2016)

Why did Hitler kill himself?









He saw the gas bill.


----------



## EdgyMemeLord0 (Nov 5, 2016)

9gag.com: France is so beautiful


----------



## bhutrflai (Nov 5, 2016)

Jarren said:


> I sense a certain wolf getting well acquainted with the couch this evening...


Refer back to page 8 for my thoughts on this. I am a total bitch when Aunt Flo is coming for a visit.


----------



## bhutrflai (Nov 5, 2016)

Okami_No_Heishi said:


> Just saying honey. Wasn't like I was talking about YOU.


I know, baby. It's not your fault that my demonic side comes out for pretty much half the month.

Women in general turn into monsters, all cause that damn bitch just had to eat an apple!!


----------



## bhutrflai (Nov 5, 2016)




----------



## Yakamaru (Nov 5, 2016)

Hitler on the Holocaust: "Gas the Jews?! No, I said "A glass of juice!""


----------



## ChapterAquila92 (Nov 6, 2016)

How do you circumcise a priest?
Kick his choirboy in the mouth.

What's the difference between Jesus and his portrait?
It only takes one nail to hang up the portrait.

What's the difference between a priest and a pimple?
A pimple waits until you're 13 before coming on your face.

What’s the difference between Hitler and Michael Phelps?
Phelps can finish a race.

What’s a Jew’s biggest dilemma?
Free ham.

What’s the worst thing about getting your keys locked in your car outside an abortion clinic?
Having to go in to ask for a coat hanger.

A man walks past girl with no arms or legs sitting by a pool. 
The girl says to the man, “Excuse me sir, I’ve never been fucked and in my condition no one would want to fuck me. Will you please fuck me?” 
So the man kicks her into the pool and says, “There, you’re fucked.”

What’s so good about an Ethiopian blow job?
You just _know_ she’ll swallow.

What do you call four klansman pushing a pickup truck?
White power.


----------



## EdgyMemeLord0 (Nov 8, 2016)

That timing


----------



## EdgyMemeLord0 (Nov 8, 2016)

DravenDonovan said:


> Why did Hitler kill himself?
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Um HIMMLERS willen
WEHRMACHT denn sowas?
SS-kaliert gleich
Das war wohl zu viel des JUDEN
SA-rtet aus


----------



## EdgyMemeLord0 (Nov 10, 2016)

Getting a handjob from a woman is like watching the paralympics

You know you admire it but deep inside you know you could do it better


----------



## bhutrflai (Nov 10, 2016)




----------



## bhutrflai (Nov 10, 2016)




----------



## bhutrflai (Nov 10, 2016)




----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Nov 10, 2016)

bhutrflai said:


> View attachment 14974


Terrible!


----------



## TidesofFate (Nov 10, 2016)

I'm worried. Santa Claus is telling me he's not real.


----------



## EdgyMemeLord0 (Nov 10, 2016)

What's the difference between a school and the ISIS headquarters?

I don't know, I only fly the drone, everything looks the same from above


----------



## stimpy (Nov 11, 2016)

What do you call a school in America? 

A shooting range


----------



## LupusFamilia (Nov 12, 2016)

TidesofFate said:


> I'm worried. Santa Claus is telling me he's not real.


Whats the difference between Santa Claus and Coca Cola? 
Coca Cola lies better.
little Fritz goes in the post office and watnt o send a letter.
Postman: "hey litle one, where are your Parents?"
Fritz: "Dead by Truck"
"Oh, And your grandparents?"
"Dead by truck"
"do you have any other family members?"
"Dead by truck"
The Postman took the letter and asked Fritz: "So.. what are you doin today ?"
"Drive the Truck!"
(a german joke. but should do it ^^)


EdgyMemeLord0 said:


> Um HIMMLERS willen
> WEHRMACHT denn sowas?
> SS-kaliert gleich
> Das war wohl zu viel des JUDEN
> SA-rtet aus


Hitler im KZ: Was zum HENKER ist denn hier los?!
2 Juden in der Gaskammer. Fragt der eine den anderen "Hast du ne kippe?"
hab da auchn netten adolf clip bei interesse^^
a Christian goes in a Satanist Church. Then he saw a inverted Cross. He inverted it again and said: "ha. thought its more complicated"


----------



## LupusFamilia (Nov 12, 2016)

DravenDonovan said:


> Why did Hitler kill himself?
> He saw the gas bill.


no. Chuck Norris did a that hard roundhousekick that his feet time-traveled and killed hitler.


----------



## ChapterAquila92 (Nov 12, 2016)

What do you call a white guy surrounded by five black guys?
Coach.

What do you call a white guy surrounded by eleven black guys?
Football coach.

What do you call a white guy surrounded by hundreds of black guys?
Warden.

How do you know if a Chinese person robs your house?
Your homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and the fucker is still trying to back out of your driveway two hours later.

How do you blindfold a Chinese person?
Dental floss.

What’s the difference between St. Patrick’s Day and Martin Luther King Day?
On St. Patrick’s Day, everyone wants to be Irish.

Why don’t Puerto Ricans have check books?
Because it’s impossible to sign your name that small with spray paint.

How do you get 100 Ethiopians into a phone box?
Throw a can of beans in.
How do you get them out?
Run past with a can opener.

Why is Tylenol white?
It works.


----------



## LupusFamilia (Nov 12, 2016)

xD
whats a white between 2 blacks?
Milchscnitte
Whats 2 whites between 2 blacks?
Nogger
whats 3 Blacks in a bed?
Chocolate


----------



## Yakamaru (Nov 12, 2016)




----------



## bhutrflai (Nov 12, 2016)




----------



## Yakamaru (Nov 12, 2016)




----------



## LupusFamilia (Nov 12, 2016)

Yakamaru said:


>


thanks, u fckd up my childhood .~.
except the 2nd one. that could probably be me


----------



## LupusFamilia (Nov 12, 2016)

could be hard.
A nazi to his Handgun:
"I..`ve had the time of my life.
No i never felt like this before.
yes i swear this is the truth."
 jew runs about and looking.
The nazi shooted the jew.
"And i owe it all to you!"


----------



## DuranWolf (Nov 12, 2016)

I heard a dark humor joke based on a national tragedy that happened 4 years ago.  Nothing to do with 9/11, but I don't know if I should say it.


----------



## LupusFamilia (Nov 12, 2016)

DuranWolf said:


> I heard a dark humor joke based on a national tragedy that happened 4 years ago.  Nothing to do with 9/11, but I don't know if I should say it.


i posted 3 different nazi jokes here. so why not lol
"the worlds a evil place. make it better with ridiculing the evil." ~ an anonymous Wolf in a Parallael World.


----------



## DuranWolf (Nov 12, 2016)

OK, here goes.

What do you call a 6 year old kid with no friends?

A Sandy Hook massacre survivor.


----------



## LupusFamilia (Nov 12, 2016)

^^
a bit flat, though. there are worse jokes.

What u call a magician buryin himself? Depends on it.
If he is craving up from the grave hes Alice Cooper.
If someone opens the Casket and he steps out in the night hes Dracula.
If nothing happens he just was an Magician.


----------



## DuranWolf (Nov 12, 2016)

LupusFamilia said:


> ^^
> a bit flat, though. there are worse jokes.


Such as?


----------



## DuranWolf (Nov 12, 2016)

Yakamaru said:


>


He supposedly hated Jews.


----------



## LupusFamilia (Nov 12, 2016)

DuranWolf said:


> He supposedly hated Jews.


 or childrens


DuranWolf said:


> Such as?


my "time of my life" joke as example.

What u call a magician buryin himself? Depends on it.
If he is craving up from the grave hes Alice Cooper.
If someone opens the Casket and he steps out in the night hes Dracula.
If nothing happens he just was an Magician.


----------



## JumboWumbo (Nov 12, 2016)

LupusFamilia said:


> ittle Fritz goes in the post office and watnt o send a letter.
> Postman: "hey litle one, where are your Parents?"
> Fritz: "Dead by Truck"
> "Oh, And your grandparents?"
> ...



Sounds more like a French joke to me.


----------



## LupusFamilia (Nov 12, 2016)

JumboWumbo said:


> Sounds more like a French joke to me.


Because?


----------



## Yakamaru (Nov 12, 2016)




----------



## EdgyMemeLord0 (Nov 13, 2016)

LupusFamilia said:


> Because?


There was an incident in France where a terrorist ran over a few people with a truck before he was shot to death, in a city which is nice
(Pun of the week)


----------



## NyxenQuick (Nov 13, 2016)




----------



## Mr.Foox (Nov 13, 2016)

What do you call a homosexual in a wheelchair? Rolaids.


----------



## Mr.Foox (Nov 13, 2016)

How many cops does it take to push a black man down the stairs? None, he fell.


----------



## Mr.Foox (Nov 13, 2016)

I ran into Hitler. I was surprised to see him and asked him what he was up to? He said “This time I am going to kill 6 million Jews and two clowns!” “Two Clowns? Why are you going to kill two clowns?” “See? Nobody cares about zee Jews.”


----------



## Mr.Foox (Nov 13, 2016)

The white woman, curious as she was, asked the black guy as he was taking off his pants, “before you take them off….is it true what they say about black guys?”

With a suave yet sinister look, he looked into her eyes and said “baby, of course.” He then proceeded to stab her and ran out with her purse.


----------



## Mr.Foox (Nov 13, 2016)

What’s the difference between an onion and a hooker? I don’t cry when I’m cutting up the hooker.


----------



## NyxenQuick (Nov 13, 2016)




----------



## Mr.Foox (Nov 13, 2016)

Have you ever heard about the baby with aids? It's never gets old.


----------



## EdgyMemeLord0 (Nov 13, 2016)

Mr.Foox said:


> Have you ever heard about the baby with aids? It's never gets old.


The joke would work better with cancer....


----------



## Yakamaru (Nov 13, 2016)

EdgyMemeLord0 said:


> The joke would work better with cancer....


Or Ebola.


----------



## EdgyMemeLord0 (Nov 13, 2016)

Yakamaru said:


> Or Ebola.


Or holocaust ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

(Before anyone gets triggered: Just a fucking J-O-K-E)


----------



## EdgyMemeLord0 (Nov 13, 2016)

Auschwitz jokes aren't funny!
My grandfather died there.... He was drunk and fell from a watchtower.


----------



## LupusFamilia (Nov 13, 2016)

[Q


EdgyMemeLord0 said:


> There was an incident in France where a terrorist ran over a few people with a truck before he was shot to death, in a city which is nice
> (Pun of the week)


Then i need to disappoint you ^^
Fhe Fritzchen Jokes are far older then the ppl who eeveen drove this truck ^^


EdgyMemeLord0 said:


> Auschwitz jokes aren't funny!
> My grandfather died there.... He was drunk and fell from a watchtower.


joke?


----------



## EdgyMemeLord0 (Nov 13, 2016)

LupusFamilia said:


> joke?


Here, I'll tell it to you in german

Witze über Auschwitz sind überhaupt nicht lustig, mein Opa ist dort gestorben....
Er ist besoffen vom Wachturm gefallen


----------



## Yakamaru (Nov 13, 2016)




----------



## EdgyMemeLord0 (Nov 13, 2016)

What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for christmas?

Cancer


----------



## EdgyMemeLord0 (Nov 13, 2016)

What did the kid with no hands get for his birthday?

Gloves

Just kidding, he didn't open his present yet


----------



## LupusFamilia (Nov 13, 2016)

oh man this turns really odd somehow xD


Spoiler



says the one with the jew jokes lol


----------



## EdgyMemeLord0 (Nov 13, 2016)

What's worse than the Holocaust?

6 million jews!






I think we germans somehow have something with these holocaust jokes.....


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Nov 13, 2016)




----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Nov 13, 2016)

Okami_No_Heishi said:


> View attachment 15068


Instead of a bunch of candles in the Catholic Church, this is what the alter should look like.


----------



## LupusFamilia (Nov 13, 2016)

whats a nigga in the space?
a black hole


EdgyMemeLord0 said:


> Here, I'll tell it to you in german
> 
> Witze über Auschwitz sind überhaupt nicht lustig, mein Opa ist dort gestorben....
> Er ist besoffen vom Wachturm gefallen


habs schon verstanden, aber hätt ja sein können.




EdgyMemeLord0 said:


> What's worse than the Holocaust?
> 
> 6 million jews!
> 
> ...


Wie um HIMMLERS willen kommsten da drauf?

whats a nigga in the space? 
a black hole 


A satanist and a Christian meets in a Bar.
The Christ says: "You bastard work of hell!"
Satanist says: "Thank you."


----------



## EdgyMemeLord0 (Nov 13, 2016)

If I paint my computer black,
will it run faster, or will it stop working?

What do a bike and a black person have in common?
Both need chains to work

Wow, instead of saying "black paint" today, you have to say "Jamal, would you please paint my fence?"


----------



## LupusFamilia (Nov 13, 2016)

EdgyMemeLord0 said:


> If I paint my computer black,
> What do a bike and a black person have in common?
> Both need chains to work"


scheisse ders krass xD
im out of ideas so heres a regular joke. 
what a noodle called on halloweed?
Naboo


----------



## bhutrflai (Nov 13, 2016)




----------



## LupusFamilia (Nov 13, 2016)

Okami_No_Heishi said:


> View attachment 15068


Then i probably would convert to Christian :`D
But only if the mid will be replaced wizz whiskey ~


----------



## bhutrflai (Nov 13, 2016)

LupusFamilia said:


> Then i probably would convert to Christian :`D
> But only if the mid will be replaced wizz whiskey ~


That's strictly the catholics who approve of alcohol. Baptists keep that shite in the closet.


----------



## LupusFamilia (Nov 13, 2016)

bhutrflai said:


> That's strictly the catholics who approve of alcohol. Baptists keep that shite in the closet.


whatever, if whiskey`s inside im with it! :3


----------



## EdgyMemeLord0 (Nov 13, 2016)

What's the difference between a bike and a black man? 

A bike won't sing Gospel if you put chains on it....


----------



## ChapterAquila92 (Nov 13, 2016)

EdgyMemeLord0 said:


>


Ah, Kumamon. Gotta love Japanese mascots.


----------



## ChapterAquila92 (Nov 15, 2016)




----------



## EdgyMemeLord0 (Nov 15, 2016)

She told me to treat her like a princess so I put her in the back of a mercedes and drove into a tunnel wall


----------



## ChapterAquila92 (Nov 15, 2016)

EdgyMemeLord0 said:


> She told me to treat her like a princess so I put her in the back of a mercedes and drove into a tunnel wall


I married her off to a stranger to improve relations with another kingdom.


----------



## bhutrflai (Nov 15, 2016)




----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Nov 15, 2016)

bhutrflai said:


> View attachment 15142


Oh look!!! My wife's first shitpost!


----------



## bhutrflai (Nov 16, 2016)




----------



## EdgyMemeLord0 (Nov 16, 2016)

bhutrflai said:


> View attachment 15147


I saw it too at first...


----------



## RileyTheOtter (Nov 16, 2016)

EdgyMemeLord0 said:


> I saw it too at first...


same


----------



## bhutrflai (Nov 16, 2016)

Just leaving this here to ruin some childhood memories.


----------



## EdgyMemeLord0 (Nov 16, 2016)




----------



## Yakamaru (Nov 16, 2016)

Here's some real dark humor for you:


----------



## JumboWumbo (Nov 16, 2016)

bhutrflai said:


> Just leaving this here to ruin some childhood memories.
> 
> View attachment 15154


----------



## EdgyMemeLord0 (Nov 16, 2016)

JumboWumbo said:


>


My emotions went from confusion, then to sadness and afterwards to laughter very fast


----------



## Maximus B. Panda (Nov 16, 2016)

What a fucking original thread.

Dark humor? Like BLM protesters getting tear gassed? (Get it, it's dark and funny. If you don't, then you suck)


----------



## bhutrflai (Nov 16, 2016)

JumboWumbo said:


>


Omg!! That is fuking hilarious!!! 

(I never had the elmo, but I had a Tickle Me Cookie Monster. When I was 20!!)


----------



## Yakamaru (Nov 16, 2016)

Okami_No_Heishi said:


> Oh look!!! My wife's first shitpost!


SHITpost.


----------



## bhutrflai (Nov 16, 2016)

Yakamaru said:


> SHITpost.


Literally! Haha!!


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Nov 16, 2016)

Kids are great. Full of surprises.


----------



## Yakamaru (Nov 16, 2016)

Okami_No_Heishi said:


> Kids are great. Full of surprises.


Until they shit their diapers and fucking toss it around the room. And then proceed to eat some of it, vomiting in the process.

10/10 want kids.

Kids are fucking stupid.


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Nov 16, 2016)

Yakamaru said:


> Until they shit their diapers and fucking toss it around the room. And then proceed to eat some of it, vomiting in the process.
> 
> 10/10 want kids.


Of, you haven't lived until one pukes in your mouth.


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Nov 16, 2016)

Yakamaru said:


> Until they shit their diapers and fucking toss it around the room. And then proceed to eat some of it, vomiting in the process.
> 
> 10/10 want kids.
> 
> Kids are fucking stupid.


Or pisses all over you and everything else. Makes you feel like the girl in R. Kelly's video


----------



## Yakamaru (Nov 16, 2016)

Okami_No_Heishi said:


> Or pisses all over you and everything else. Makes you feel like the girl in R. Kelly's video


Yeah, one of the reasons I don't want kids. 

18 years of being a fucking parasite.


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Nov 16, 2016)

Yakamaru said:


> Yeah, one of the reasons I don't want kids.
> 
> 18 years of being a fucking parasite.


It's so worth it though. It really is. I never thought in a million years I ever would be a parent. Now I wouldn't want tonimagine NOT being a parent. It is great!


----------



## Yakamaru (Nov 16, 2016)

Okami_No_Heishi said:


> It's so worth it though. It really is. I never thought in a million years I ever would be a parent. Now I wouldn't want tonimagine NOT being a parent. It is great!


I don't want kids without a good reason for it. Having kids just to have kids I find egotistical. 

Not to mention there's ENOUGH of us fuckers already on the planet.


----------



## DuranWolf (Nov 16, 2016)

What did the Chinese parents name their retarded child?

Sum Tin Wong


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Nov 16, 2016)

Yakamaru said:


> I don't want kids without a good reason for it. Having kids just to have kids I find egotistical.
> 
> Not to mention there's ENOUGH of us fuckers already on the planet.


Oh. Have no fear. Mutha Nature always finds a way to wipe out the pesky humans.


----------



## bhutrflai (Nov 16, 2016)

Yakamaru said:


> I don't want kids without a good reason for it. Having kids just to have kids I find egotistical.
> 
> Not to mention there's ENOUGH of us fuckers already on the planet.


Some times you can't plan for it. But you make the best of it & hope you do a good job. 

Some people should be 'fixed' before they reach child bearing age, just so they don't either use, abuse, or abandon their own flesh & blood. And there are WAY TOO MANY of those kinds of people out there.


----------



## Yakamaru (Nov 16, 2016)

bhutrflai said:


> Some times you can't plan for it. But you make the best of it & hope you do a good job.
> 
> Some people should be 'fixed' before they reach child bearing age, just so they don't either use, abuse, or abandon their own flesh & blood. And there are WAY TOO MANY of those kinds of people out there.


I prefer planning. And IF the plan doesn't work out, then I'll do the best I can out of it.


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Nov 16, 2016)

Yakamaru said:


> I prefer planning. And IF the plan doesn't work out, then I'll do the best I can out of it.


Honestly, planning is futile. No plan ever survives first contact with the enemy, and the enemy in this case is life and time. Shit happens, shit happens often, and there aint shit you can do about it.


----------



## Yakamaru (Nov 16, 2016)

Okami_No_Heishi said:


> Honestly, planning is futile. No plan ever survives first contact with the enemy, and the enemy in this case is life and time. Shit happens, shit happens often, and there aint shit you can do about it.


An endless supply of condoms works as a plan for me. 

Well, if or when I find a girl anyway.


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Nov 16, 2016)

Yakamaru said:


> An endless supply of condoms works as a plan for me.
> 
> Well, if or when I find a girl anyway.


Condoms only work if you have a use for them.


----------



## bhutrflai (Nov 16, 2016)

Yakamaru said:


> An endless supply of condoms works as a plan for me.
> 
> Well, if or when I find a girl anyway.


Destiny works in mysterious ways. Yeah, being with a girl is kinda a requirement for having a kid. 

But I believe that things happen when they are supposed to happen. And sometimes those unexpected things are the greatest things that ever happen to you!


----------



## Yakamaru (Nov 17, 2016)

Okami_No_Heishi said:


> Condoms only work if you have a use for them.


Yup. For if or when I find a girl to stick it to her. But I will take my time. Not interested in rushing things.

Rushing into things only make them worse and can cause problems. My ex is one such thing I'd rather avoid in the future.


bhutrflai said:


> Destiny works in mysterious ways. Yeah, being with a girl is kinda a requirement for having a kid.
> 
> But I believe that things happen when they are supposed to happen. And sometimes those unexpected things are the greatest things that ever happen to you!


Personally I don't believe in destiny nor fate. Everything is the result of their circumstances and thing hidden from view. 

If there is such a thing as destiny or fate then free will kinda doesn't exist(as it'd kinda contradict itself) and we're all just puppets to the whims of fate and destiny. It's a bit like saying "you're allowed to do everything you want as long as you go down this specific path".


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Nov 17, 2016)

Yakamaru said:


> Yup. For if or when I find a girl to stick it to her. But I will take my time. Not interested in rushing things.
> 
> Rushing into things only make them worse and can cause problems. My ex is one such thing I'd rather avoid in the future.
> 
> ...


I would say that it's more like how Yoda describes the Force. You have free will, but your path is dictated by the choices you make and how those choices effect the future. The future is always in motion, always changing. But I believe that paths of every living human on Earth cross at certain times in the past, present, and future. And sometimes, you are standing in the right place, at the right time, and BAM!!!! IT happens!


----------



## bhutrflai (Nov 17, 2016)

Yakamaru said:


> Personally I don't believe in destiny nor fate. Everything is the result of their circumstances and thing hidden from view.
> 
> If there is such a thing as destiny or fate then free will kinda doesn't exist(as it'd kinda contradict itself) and we're all just puppets to the whims of fate and destiny. It's a bit like saying "you're allowed to do everything you want as long as you go down this specific path".


I feel that Fate & Destiny go hand in hand. Some people feel that Fate is the negative/dark & Destiny is the positive/light. But I think that together, they put choices in our path. It is still up to us to choose our own way, but we may get a small nudge from them to see if we have to courage to follow our destiny. 

If I go back & look at all the things that led up to me & Okami getting together, there has to be a certain amount of Fate/Destiny, otherwise we would have NEVER met! Too many events happened in our lives (that were out of our control as we were kids/teens) but luckily we managed to find each other. 

I got married, at 18, to a high school friend of Okami's. We were together for 3yrs before we divorced. But if it hadn't been for that relationship, I would have never become best friends with Okami, and would have never realized that he was the one who holds my heart.


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Nov 17, 2016)

bhutrflai said:


> I feel that Fate & Destiny go hand in hand. Some people feel that Fate is the negative/dark & Destiny is the positive/light. But I think that together, they put choices in our path. It is still up to us to choose our own way, but we may get a small nudge from them to see if we have to courage to follow our destiny.
> 
> If I go back & look at all the things that led up to me & Okami getting together, there has to be a certain amount of Fate/Destiny, otherwise we would have NEVER met! Too many events happened in our lives (that were out of our control as we were kids/teens) but luckily we managed to find each other.
> 
> I got married, at 18, to a high school friend of Okami's. We were together for 3yrs before we divorced. But if it hadn't been for that relationship, I would have never become best friends with Okami, and would have never realized that he was the one who holds my heart.


I LOVE YOU BEAUTIFUL!!!


----------



## Yakamaru (Nov 17, 2016)

bhutrflai said:


> I feel that Fate & Destiny go hand in hand. Some people feel that Fate is the negative/dark & Destiny is the positive/light. But I think that together, they put choices in our path. It is still up to us to choose our own way, but we may get a small nudge from them to see if we have to courage to follow our destiny.
> 
> If I go back & look at all the things that led up to me & Okami getting together, there has to be a certain amount of Fate/Destiny, otherwise we would have NEVER met! Too many events happened in our lives (that were out of our control as we were kids/teens) but luckily we managed to find each other.
> 
> I got married, at 18, to a high school friend of Okami's. We were together for 3yrs before we divorced. But if it hadn't been for that relationship, I would have never become best friends with Okami, and would have never realized that he was the one who holds my heart.


Each to their own.


----------



## bhutrflai (Nov 17, 2016)

Ok. Back to the jokes. (Even though this is just one I had to move from a different thread.)


----------



## bhutrflai (Nov 17, 2016)




----------



## EdgyMemeLord0 (Nov 17, 2016)

What was the last thing going through the heads of the people working at the world trade center?

The 90th floor


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Nov 17, 2016)

bhutrflai said:


> View attachment 15199


Ohhhhh! To have a lucky human foot I could rub for good luck!!!


----------



## bhutrflai (Nov 18, 2016)




----------



## EdgyMemeLord0 (Nov 19, 2016)

Black_person.exe has stopped working

Beat that pun


----------



## ChapterAquila92 (Nov 19, 2016)

"I never liked kids. Especially ones with guns."
~Kaz "Kikongo Killer" Miller


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Nov 19, 2016)

ChapterAquila92 said:


> "I never liked kids. Especially ones with guns."
> ~Kaz "Kikongo Killer" Miller


That may be the most racist thing I have ever seen.


----------



## ChapterAquila92 (Nov 19, 2016)

Okami_No_Heishi said:


> That may be the most racist thing I have ever seen.


All thanks to the assumption that Kaz would be a roaring racist in MGSV because of a trailer clip that featured him hitting a black kid with his crutch. Of course, it turned out that he was just an asshole driven by a lust for revenge, but the memes aren't likely to die any time soon.


----------



## bhutrflai (Nov 26, 2016)




----------



## EdgyMemeLord0 (Nov 26, 2016)

bhutrflai said:


> View attachment 15362


Haha :3


----------



## Jarren (Nov 26, 2016)




----------



## Jarren (Nov 29, 2016)




----------



## Inpw (Nov 29, 2016)




----------



## EdgyMemeLord0 (Nov 29, 2016)

Jarren said:


> View attachment 15413


I lol'd


----------



## bhutrflai (Dec 1, 2016)




----------



## bhutrflai (Dec 3, 2016)




----------



## Karatine (Dec 3, 2016)

I'm just gonna leave this here.


----------



## EdgyMemeLord0 (Dec 3, 2016)

She told me to treat her like a princess so I put her in the back seat of a Mercedes and drove into a tunnel wall


----------



## Yakamaru (Dec 3, 2016)




----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Dec 4, 2016)

So very true!


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Dec 4, 2016)




----------



## Karatine (Dec 4, 2016)

Doritos!


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Dec 4, 2016)

Karatine said:


> Doritos!


Omfg!!


----------



## bhutrflai (Dec 4, 2016)




----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Dec 4, 2016)




----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Dec 4, 2016)




----------



## Yakamaru (Dec 4, 2016)

Does anyone of you get the joke?


----------



## Karatine (Dec 4, 2016)

Yakamaru said:


> Does anyone of you get the joke?



Just like my coffee


----------



## ChapterAquila92 (Dec 4, 2016)

Yakamaru said:


> Does anyone of you get the joke?



Mr Popo? Is that you?


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Dec 4, 2016)

Yakamaru said:


> Does anyone of you get the joke?


Dark humor right? Lol


----------



## Yakamaru (Dec 4, 2016)

Okami_No_Heishi said:


> Dark humor right? Lol


Yup. :3


----------



## bhutrflai (Dec 5, 2016)




----------



## LupusFamilia (Dec 5, 2016)

Should be the right joke for Yakamaru.
________________________________________________________
My daughter said she wants a Pony for christmas.
Well, until now we always had duck for dinner, but im open for experiences.


----------



## EdgyMemeLord0 (Dec 5, 2016)

LupusFamilia said:


> Should be the right joke for Yakamaru.
> ________________________________________________________
> My daughter said she wants a Pony for christmas.
> Well, until now we always had duck for dinner, but im open for experiences.


XD


----------



## bhutrflai (Dec 5, 2016)




----------



## Saylor (Dec 6, 2016)

I have a bunch of one liners, but here's a few sample jokes. I should also say this in advance, they are just jokes and I apologize if anyone gets offended by any jokes I listed. 

Q: What's black and sits at the top of the stairs? 
A: Steven Hawking after a house fire.

Q: How do you fit 100 babies into a bucket? 
A: With a blender.
Q: How do you get them back out? 
A: With tortilla chips. 

Q: What's 6 inches long, 2 inches wide, and drives women crazy? 
A: a $100 bill

Q: What's the difference between a Jew and a canoe?
A: A canoe might tip

Q: What does an Olympic silver medalist have in common with a catholic priest? 
A: They both came in a little behind. 

Q: What do you call a bunch of black people hanging out in a barn? 
A: Antique farming equipment.


----------



## EdgyMemeLord0 (Dec 6, 2016)

There were two white christian men, John and Mike, whose plane crashed into a desert. Luckily they survived unharmed. As they traveled through the hot desert looking for food and water, they gave up and sat down, thinking of what to do.

As the dust in the air settled, they suddenly could view a mosque ahead. They became very hopeful. But then John said ''Muslims are there. They might help us if we say we are Muslim.'' Then Mike said ''No way, I won't say I'm Muslim, I'm gonna be honest''.

So John and Mike went to the Mosque ahead and were greeted by an Arab Muslim, who asked what their names were.

John thought of a Muslim name and said, 'My name is Muhammad'. And Mike said 'My name is Mike'.

The Arab man said 'Hello Mike.' And told these other men to take Mike and give him food and drink.

Then he turned to John and said, 'Salaam Muhammad. Ramadan Mubarak! (Hello Muhammad, Happy Ramadan)


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Dec 6, 2016)

EdgyMemeLord0 said:


> There were two white christian men, John and Mike, whose plane crashed into a desert. Luckily they survived unharmed. As they traveled through the hot desert looking for food and water, they gave up and sat down, thinking of what to do.
> 
> As the dust in the air settled, they suddenly could view a mosque ahead. They became very hopeful. But then John said ''Muslims are there. They might help us if we say we are Muslim.'' Then Mike said ''No way, I won't say I'm Muslim, I'm gonna be honest''.
> 
> ...


Took me a second. Lol!


----------



## Saylor (Dec 7, 2016)

A guy sits at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the city. He slams a shot of tequila, goes over to the window and jumps out.

The guy sitting next to him can’t believe what he just saw. He’s more surprised when, 10 minutes later, the same guy walks back into the bar and sits down next to him.

The astonished onlooker asks, “How did you do that? I just saw you jump out the window, and we’re hundreds of feet above the ground!”

The jumper responds by slurring, “Well, I don’t get it either. I slam a shot of tequila, and when I jump out the window, the tequila makes me slow down right before I hit the ground. Watch.” He takes a shot, goes to the window and jumps out.

The other guy runs to the window and watches as the guy falls to just above the sidewalk, slows down and lands softly on his feet. A few minutes later, the jumper walks back into the bar.

The other guy has to try it, too, so he orders a shot of tequila. He slams it and jumps out the window. As he reaches the bottom, he doesn’t slow down at all. SPLAT!
The first guy orders another shot of tequila. The bartender shakes his head. “You’re really an a**hole when you’re drunk, Superman.”


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Dec 8, 2016)

Saylor said:


> A guy sits at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the city. He slams a shot of tequila, goes over to the window and jumps out.
> 
> The guy sitting next to him can’t believe what he just saw. He’s more surprised when, 10 minutes later, the same guy walks back into the bar and sits down next to him.
> 
> ...


Nice!!!lmao here!!!


----------



## biscuitfister (Dec 8, 2016)

Holy fuck actually got a pic to post


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Dec 15, 2016)




----------



## ChapterAquila92 (Dec 15, 2016)

Okami_No_Heishi said:


> View attachment 15657


Nah, that's just Sam Jackson in furry drag.

This is the _real_ Nick Furry.





And Nicole, his gender-bent counterpart of some relation.


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Dec 16, 2016)




----------



## Jin-Lust-4-Sin (Dec 16, 2016)

Okami_No_Heishi said:


> View attachment 15660


oh dear me...


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Dec 16, 2016)




----------



## Jin-Lust-4-Sin (Dec 16, 2016)

Okami_No_Heishi said:


> View attachment 15662


every sci-fi ever lololol


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Dec 18, 2016)




----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Dec 18, 2016)




----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Dec 19, 2016)




----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Dec 19, 2016)




----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Dec 19, 2016)




----------



## Jin-Lust-4-Sin (Dec 19, 2016)

Okami_No_Heishi said:


> View attachment 15722


Sweet mother of...


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Dec 19, 2016)




----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Dec 19, 2016)




----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Dec 19, 2016)




----------



## RileyTheOtter (Dec 20, 2016)

Okami_No_Heishi said:


> View attachment 15716


because sawed-offs are illegal silly.


----------



## Brechard (Dec 20, 2016)

Okami_No_Heishi said:


> View attachment 15725


the fuck is that on the bread?


----------



## ChapterAquila92 (Dec 20, 2016)

Brechard said:


> the fuck is that on the bread?


Onions for the tears.


----------



## Very Hairy Larry (Dec 20, 2016)

Brechard said:


> the fuck is that on the bread?


struggle puffs


----------



## bhutrflai (Dec 20, 2016)

Brechard said:


> the fuck is that on the bread?


It's ice, cause the struggle is REAL!!


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Dec 20, 2016)

Brechard said:


> the fuck is that on the bread?


Ice cubes!


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Dec 20, 2016)

Very Hairy Larry said:


> struggle puffs


Best comment goes to.... LARRY!!!!


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Dec 21, 2016)




----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Dec 21, 2016)




----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Dec 21, 2016)




----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Dec 21, 2016)




----------



## bhutrflai (Dec 21, 2016)




----------



## LupusFamilia (Dec 21, 2016)

Okami_No_Heishi said:


> View attachment 15716


Exactly what Activision thought as they Designed Executioner. 
(and then they thought "Dont most house owners get shot?" and made that thing damagely useless)


----------



## ChapterAquila92 (Dec 21, 2016)

Source


----------



## bhutrflai (Dec 21, 2016)




----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Dec 21, 2016)




----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Dec 21, 2016)




----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Dec 21, 2016)




----------



## Royn (Dec 21, 2016)

A man jogged on a beach, and glancing ahead, saw an extremely beautiful woman lying on a beach towel.  As he got closer he saw that she was an amputee, and had no arms below the elbows, and no legs below the knees.  As he approached her, she called him over and said.  "You are just hot!  FuBLEEPck me!"  Shocked, the man asked her to repeat herself.  "FuBLEEPck me please!"  She answered coyly, wiggling around and licking her lips.  The man thought for a second, then stepped over, picked up the woman in his arms, carried her down into the surf until he was almost treading water, and let her go.  "There, you are fuBLEEPcked."  He said.


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Dec 21, 2016)

No thanks. I'll stay in Georgia!


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Dec 21, 2016)




----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Dec 21, 2016)




----------



## Karatine (Dec 22, 2016)

I'm sorry, this made me laugh more than it should have.


----------



## LupusFamilia (Dec 23, 2016)

Okami_No_Heishi said:


> View attachment 15802


Welcome to human logic lol


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Dec 23, 2016)

LupusFamilia said:


> Welcome to human logic lol


Yep.


----------



## LupusFamilia (Dec 24, 2016)

A Christian dies on Christmas.
What were his last words?
“God damn. I forgot my present.“


----------



## bhutrflai (Dec 24, 2016)




----------



## bhutrflai (Dec 24, 2016)




----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Dec 24, 2016)

bhutrflai said:


> View attachment 15823


Happy little bodies. Remember, there's no murder. Just happy accidents.


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Dec 26, 2016)




----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Dec 26, 2016)




----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Dec 26, 2016)




----------



## biscuitfister (Dec 27, 2016)

I would stay up all night waiting for santa to come, then he would pull up his pants.


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Dec 27, 2016)

biscuitfister said:


> I would stay up all night waiting for santa to come, then he would pull up his pants.


Wow.  SANTA!?


----------



## tinybrows (Dec 27, 2016)

biscuitfister said:


> I would stay up all night waiting for santa to come, then he would pull up his pants.


ok this is my new favorite joke.


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Dec 27, 2016)




----------



## Vanilla Zero (Dec 28, 2016)

Okami_No_Heishi said:


> No thanks. I'll stay in Georgia!


Morgan Murphy is fucking hysterical. She always makes me laugh.


----------



## LupusFamilia (Dec 28, 2016)

Okami_No_Heishi said:


> View attachment 15846


So bad.... so good.... xD


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Dec 28, 2016)




----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Dec 29, 2016)




----------



## Julen (Dec 29, 2016)




----------



## Julen (Dec 29, 2016)

Dark and offensive. My favorite combo




Please don't hate me. I'm sorry


----------



## RileyTheOtter (Dec 29, 2016)

Okami_No_Heishi said:


> View attachment 15906


I know exactly how many calories are in my lunch on average...2k-2.5k actually


----------



## Very Hairy Larry (Dec 29, 2016)

Abyssalrider said:


> I know exactly how many calories are in my lunch on average...2k-2.5k actually


That's dark humor?


----------



## ChapterAquila92 (Dec 29, 2016)

Very Hairy Larry said:


> That's dark humor?


Probably the kilometers he needs to walk to get it. Granted, that's barely a half-hour hike one way.


----------



## JumboWumbo (Dec 31, 2016)




----------



## bhutrflai (Jan 1, 2017)




----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Jan 2, 2017)




----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Jan 2, 2017)




----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Jan 2, 2017)




----------



## ChapterAquila92 (Jan 3, 2017)

Real ads for Spitfire Beer, the Bottle of Britain.


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Jan 3, 2017)




----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Jan 3, 2017)




----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Jan 3, 2017)




----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Jan 4, 2017)




----------



## bhutrflai (Jan 4, 2017)

Okami_No_Heishi said:


> View attachment 16012


You boys, have NO idea!! 

But y'alls penance is those 2 things that swing between your legs. (I realize that it's 3 (typically, unless there's a medical reason for there being less than 2 balls), but only the matched pair feels any real anguish). That's as close as you'll ever come to the annoyance & torture we go thru every month. (But guess what? We only have to deal with ours for 40 yrs or so, and then it magically goes away again. Haha!!)


----------



## Julen (Jan 4, 2017)

Okami_No_Heishi said:


> View attachment 16012




 i'm never going to sleep again


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Jan 4, 2017)

Julen said:


> View attachment 16015 i'm never going to sleep again


Lol


----------



## bhutrflai (Jan 4, 2017)

Julen said:


> View attachment 16015 i'm never going to sleep again


It's a whole 'nother experience trying to sleep while this shit is happening, let me tell you. (But I wont, cause I'm not a masachist.)


----------



## Julen (Jan 4, 2017)

bhutrflai said:


> It's a whole 'nother experience trying to sleep while this shit is happening, let me tell you. (But I wont, cause I'm not a masachist.)


*currently me*


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Jan 4, 2017)




----------



## ChapterAquila92 (Jan 5, 2017)




----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Jan 6, 2017)




----------



## Lexiand (Jan 6, 2017)

how dark are we talking

*( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) *


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Jan 6, 2017)

SveltColt said:


> how dark are we talking
> 
> *( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) *


Dark as you want. Just don't go overboard.


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Jan 6, 2017)




----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Jan 6, 2017)




----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Jan 6, 2017)




----------



## ChapterAquila92 (Jan 6, 2017)

Lashzara said:


> At least with this recent Chicago torture incident we found out who liberals love more: retards or niggers. Now let's have some illegal immigrants torture a muslim.


Try Buddhists in Myanmar. Apparently the Muslims there got them angry enough to start ethnic cleansing.

You know you fucked up when Buddhists want to exterminate you. You know, the guys who are second to Jains in promoting some of the most peaceful extremists you'll ever meet.


----------



## Sarachaga (Jan 6, 2017)

Okami_No_Heishi said:


> View attachment 16058


This reminded me of something. My brother-in-law is a hunter and really likes to boast and he told me at some point that he felt that he was fighting on an equal footing with the animals he hunted.Now I'm stuck with an image of him brawling naked with animals in the wild. Help.


----------



## Lashzara (Jan 6, 2017)

ChapterAquila92 said:


> Try Buddhists in Myanmar. Apparently the Muslims there got them angry enough to start ethnic cleansing.
> 
> You know you fucked up when Buddhists want to exterminate you. You know, the guys who are second to Jains in promoting some of the most peaceful extremists you'll ever meet.


Rofl they took me down for "hate speech". In a dark humour thread. Because I was clearly being so serious. Gotta love that political correctness, right?


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Jan 7, 2017)




----------



## ChapterAquila92 (Jan 7, 2017)

Lashzara said:


> Rofl they took me down for "hate speech". In a dark humour thread. Because I was clearly being so serious. Gotta love that political correctness, right?


To be honest, there's not much humour to be found there beyond pure sadism. Schadenfreude generally doesn't include inciting violence on others.


----------



## bhutrflai (Jan 7, 2017)

Okami_No_Heishi said:


> View attachment 16067


Haha. Keep it up, funny man. See how far it gets you. 





(Jk, babe. I love you!!)


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Jan 7, 2017)

bhutrflai said:


> Haha. Keep it up, funny man. See how far it gets you.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Lmao! I Love You bhutrflai!!


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Jan 7, 2017)




----------



## Sarachaga (Jan 7, 2017)

Okami_No_Heishi said:


> View attachment 16068


My three other selves agree with this statement


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Jan 7, 2017)

Sarachaga said:


> My three other selves agree with this statement


Lol


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Jan 7, 2017)




----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Jan 8, 2017)




----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Jan 8, 2017)




----------



## Sarachaga (Jan 8, 2017)

Okami_No_Heishi said:


> View attachment 16107


You don't look back at a year like this. You run away from it


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Jan 8, 2017)




----------



## Timber-Dawg (Jan 11, 2017)

I love it to death


----------



## Yakamaru (Jan 11, 2017)

Sarachaga said:


> You don't look back at a year like this. You run away from it


You mean 2016? I look back at it and I see all the shitlordery done and I am giggling at the thought of the up and coming 4 years of shitlordery directly from the White House! <3


----------



## stimpy (Jan 12, 2017)




----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Jan 12, 2017)

÷


----------



## Arcturus Maple (Jan 13, 2017)

Okami_No_Heishi said:


> View attachment 16108


If you've never played the SEGA Dreamcast game "Illbleed", look it up on youtube. There's a bit in the Toyhunter level where characters who are toys are buried with their owners. Twice. It's story-relevant both times.


----------



## Khazius (Jan 13, 2017)

What does a cannibal call someone without arms and legs?

Left overs.


----------



## stimpy (Jan 14, 2017)




----------



## NocturneFox! (Jan 14, 2017)

What is red and its get smaller?? 
A baby whit a knife.     wut?


----------



## biscuitfister (Jan 14, 2017)

9+11=Lies


----------



## NocturneFox! (Jan 14, 2017)

biscuitfister said:


> 9+11=Lies


✈☠✡


----------



## Julen (Jan 14, 2017)




----------



## Very Hairy Larry (Jan 14, 2017)

Not dark, but heh


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Jan 15, 2017)




----------



## bhutrflai (Jan 15, 2017)




----------



## ariamis (Jan 16, 2017)

bhutrflai said:


> View attachment 16185


----------



## bhutrflai (Jan 18, 2017)




----------



## ChapterAquila92 (Jan 19, 2017)

Why are there no Weightwatchers clinics in Somalia?
The skinnies beat them there.


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Jan 23, 2017)




----------



## bhutrflai (Jan 23, 2017)




----------



## bhutrflai (Jan 23, 2017)




----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Jan 23, 2017)

bhutrflai said:


> View attachment 16298


Yep!


----------



## Alex K (Jan 25, 2017)

Since when is the humorous black? Thought it was a deep greenish brown color


----------



## bhutrflai (Jan 25, 2017)




----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Jan 25, 2017)

bhutrflai said:


> View attachment 16328


This is hilarious!!


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Jan 25, 2017)




----------



## Sarachaga (Jan 25, 2017)

bhutrflai said:


> View attachment 16298


This is actually a frightening idea. What if a scientist decides to create such a machine. _We are DOOMED _


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Jan 26, 2017)




----------



## bhutrflai (Jan 26, 2017)




----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Jan 26, 2017)

bhutrflai said:


> View attachment 16345


So true!


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Jan 26, 2017)




----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Jan 26, 2017)




----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Jan 26, 2017)




----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Jan 29, 2017)




----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Jan 30, 2017)




----------



## AdelynBlair (Feb 1, 2017)

I like dark humor, it's the best kind you know.


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Feb 1, 2017)




----------



## bhutrflai (Feb 1, 2017)




----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Feb 1, 2017)




----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Feb 2, 2017)




----------



## bhutrflai (Feb 4, 2017)




----------



## LupusFamilia (Feb 5, 2017)

What you call a hyperactive african?
Black magic


----------



## katalistik (Feb 5, 2017)

LupusFamilia said:


> What you call a hyperactive african?
> Black magic



Good one mate.


----------



## LupusFamilia (Feb 6, 2017)

Whatd a lot of catsup?
A blood stain.

What are two redskins lyin nearby?
Fish filet.

What makes a axe and falling trees?
An work accident.

Why to buy a AK47?
To better watch the baby.

Whats a baby with some grass in a blender?
A perfect zombiewalk mask.

Whats a suburban train also known?
Mafias “problem solver“

Whats a blender in the bathroom?
A “bloody“ new teeth brush lol. That one was stupid...

And whats a whisky on the eeveening?
An good painkiller.

I need a motherfuckin drink.

Out o ideas. Humans sucks <3


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Feb 6, 2017)




----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Feb 6, 2017)




----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Feb 9, 2017)




----------



## biscuitfister (Feb 10, 2017)

Dark humor is like a cure...not everyone gets it


----------



## bhutrflai (Feb 10, 2017)




----------



## Huffy (Feb 12, 2017)

I do!


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Feb 12, 2017)




----------



## Alex K (Feb 12, 2017)

Dark humor is just a cheap way to win movie goers and hormonal teenagers into drive ins

I prefer white humor way more


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Feb 12, 2017)




----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Feb 12, 2017)




----------



## bhutrflai (Feb 12, 2017)




----------



## biscuitfister (Feb 16, 2017)

I named my shovel "Divorce Attorney" cause its really good at its job


----------



## Yakamaru (Feb 16, 2017)

Your pussy is so dry we could fool Arabs into drilling for oil there.

I have 10 cookies, and someone asks me if they can have one. What do I end up with? That's right. 10 cookies and a corpse.

Dark humor is like intelligence: Not everyone have it nor understand it.


----------



## WolfyJake (Feb 16, 2017)

Well, I'm not one to make up dark humor on the spot. But I get it. I watch Fargo and I'm really enjoying it.


----------



## biscuitfister (Feb 16, 2017)

Dark humor is like a Make-a-Wish child. It never gets old


----------



## Saylor (Feb 17, 2017)

I can't share my sense of humor here. It might offend someone.


----------



## Yakamaru (Feb 17, 2017)

Saylor said:


> I can't share my sense of humor here. It might offend someone.


....Now I got interested as all hell. Send it in a PM? 

Offense is always taken, never given. It's also optional.

This is a thread for dark humor.


----------



## biscuitfister (Feb 17, 2017)

Saylor said:


> I can't share my sense of humor here. It might offend someone.


I made a joke about Make-a-Wish kids never getting old you should be fine


----------



## EdgyMemeLord0 (Feb 17, 2017)

Timmy has 20 cookies
Jamal steals 10 of them
Question:
What is Jamal's skin color?


----------



## Yakamaru (Feb 17, 2017)

EdgyMemeLord0 said:


> Timmy has 20 cookies
> Jamal steals 10 of them
> Question:
> What is Jamal's skin color?


Brown.

Timmy is OK with brown people stealing his cookies.


----------



## Brit (Feb 17, 2017)

As a Brit living here in the US I find that my dry sense of humor is often not understood when I add dark humor to it it just confuses people. Thankfully in groups like "alt" groups like the Furry Fandom I find that it is more accepted, perhaps it is because the fans are more a. Open minded.  b. Smarter and more worldly.


----------



## Yakamaru (Feb 17, 2017)

Brit said:


> As a Brit living here in the US I find that my dry sense of humor is often not understood when I add dark humor to it it just confuses people. Thankfully in groups like "alt" groups like the Furry Fandom I find that it is more accepted, perhaps it is because the fans are more a. Open minded.  b. Smarter and more worldly.


Or you've come across people with a more open sense of humor. It's all about who you meet and interact with, really.

For me literally nothing is off the table.

You know the downsides of mass murder?


Spoiler



Survivors



You know the downsides of murder?


Spoiler



It's illegal


----------



## Doku (Feb 17, 2017)

Cooking with Adolf:

Step one: Turn on the gas


----------



## Yakamaru (Feb 17, 2017)

Doku said:


> Cooking with Adolf:
> 
> Step one: Turn on the gas


----------



## ChapterAquila92 (Feb 17, 2017)




----------



## EdgyMemeLord0 (Feb 18, 2017)

I have a rather mean one


Spoiler



What caused many gas pipes to be clogged back then in 1940?... Jews trying to escape Auschwitz


----------



## Sarachaga (Feb 18, 2017)

A soft one:
A dentist, to his patient: This is going to hurt a little.
The patient:That's ok, I'm ready
The dentist: Well I've been having an affair with your wife


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Jun 20, 2018)

Sarachaga said:


> A soft one:
> A dentist, to his patient: This is going to hurt a little.
> The patient:That's ok, I'm ready
> The dentist: Well I've been having an affair with your wife


Daaaaaaaaamn!!!


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Jun 20, 2018)




----------



## Casey Fluffbat (Jun 20, 2018)




----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Jun 21, 2018)




----------



## bhutrflai (Jul 21, 2018)




----------



## stimpy (Jul 21, 2018)

this thread refeuses to die, I appreciate that


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Jul 21, 2018)




----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Jul 21, 2018)

stimpy said:


> this thread refeuses to die, I appreciate that


Hey Stimpy!!


----------



## stimpy (Jul 21, 2018)

Okami_No_Heishi said:


> Hey Stimpy!!


g'day my dude!!


----------



## bhutrflai (Jul 21, 2018)

stimpy said:


> g'day my dude!!


Hiya! Been awhile since we've seen you!


----------



## stimpy (Jul 21, 2018)

bhutrflai said:


> Hiya! Been awhile since we've seen you!


it has, I dont seem to freqent the se foruemazs as much as I used to


----------



## WolfoxeCrevan (Jul 21, 2018)

I like my coffee like I like my men. Ground up and in my fridge.


----------



## bhutrflai (Jul 21, 2018)

stimpy said:


> it has, I dont seem to freqent the se foruemazs as much as I used to


Me either. I tend to lurk more than post, unless I happen to be on when Okami is on.

But it's nice to see a familiar face around!


----------



## stimpy (Jul 21, 2018)

bhutrflai said:


> Me either. I tend to lurk more than post, unless I happen to be on when Okami is on.
> 
> But it's nice to see a familiar face around!


I NEEED  rto be on here mopre ofetern


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Jul 21, 2018)




----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Jul 21, 2018)

Okami_No_Heishi said:


> View attachment 36006


YOU'LL FLOAT TOO!!!


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Jul 21, 2018)




----------



## Infrarednexus (Jul 21, 2018)




----------



## Ramjet (Jul 21, 2018)




----------



## bhutrflai (Jul 21, 2018)




----------



## Ramjet (Jul 21, 2018)




----------



## Infrarednexus (Jul 21, 2018)




----------



## Xitheon (Jul 21, 2018)

You wait ages and ages for a horrible medical experiment to arrive, then three come along at once...






The food is crap but at least there in no queue for the toilets.


----------



## Murphy (Jul 21, 2018)

Dark humor is like food. Not everybody gets it.


----------



## Xitheon (Jul 21, 2018)

Murphy said:


> Dark humor is like food. Not everybody gets it.



FEED HER.


----------



## Murphy (Jul 21, 2018)

Xitheon said:


> FEED HER.


AM SO HONGRY


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Jul 21, 2018)

Ramjet556 said:


>


Lmfao!!! The reality of The American Dream!!


----------



## ChapterAquila92 (Jul 21, 2018)




----------



## Hopei (Jul 21, 2018)

Best play through of cards against humanity ever recorded :v (can skip to 4:33 for the furry joke)


----------



## Infrarednexus (Jul 21, 2018)




----------



## Ramjet (Jul 22, 2018)




----------



## TimFox (Jul 22, 2018)

Ramjet556 said:


>


I don't get this.



*wink, wink*


----------



## Hopei (Jul 22, 2018)

Ramjet556 said:


>



It's missing the panel with the docs dialogue: "we could do butt stuff"


----------



## ScrewLoose (Jul 22, 2018)

How do we know the female astronaut on the Challenger had dandruff?
They found her head and shoulders on the beach


----------



## ScrewLoose (Jul 22, 2018)

What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
Wipe his ass.


----------



## Deleted member 115426 (Jul 22, 2018)

I love black comedy. It's all dark humor.


----------



## DarkoKavinsky (Jul 22, 2018)

GEEZ, being a necromancer is so hard these days.  Can't you just let a man raise a family in peace?!


----------



## Dongding (Jul 22, 2018)

I ain't skimming this to see if something similar was posted...

A man and a small girl walked through some particularly shady woods together. The small girl says to the man "I'm scared!" to which the man replies "How do you think I feel? I have to walk out of here all alone."


----------



## JinxiFox (Jul 22, 2018)




----------



## JinxiFox (Jul 22, 2018)




----------



## JinxiFox (Jul 22, 2018)




----------



## JinxiFox (Jul 22, 2018)




----------



## JinxiFox (Jul 22, 2018)




----------



## JinxiFox (Jul 22, 2018)




----------



## JinxiFox (Jul 22, 2018)

From 30 Ways to be Offensive at a Funeral (which I actually want read at my funeral) 
25. Throw cooked rice on the deceased, scream "MAGGOTS!  MAGGOTS!" and then pretend to faint.


----------



## JinxiFox (Jul 22, 2018)




----------



## JinxiFox (Jul 22, 2018)




----------



## JinxiFox (Jul 22, 2018)




----------



## JinxiFox (Jul 22, 2018)




----------



## Infrarednexus (Jul 23, 2018)




----------



## bhutrflai (Jul 29, 2018)




----------



## Alyssa.the.fox (Jul 29, 2018)

yes, at times


----------



## Taku (Jul 30, 2018)

Prometheus_Fox said:


> Cobain was a hell of an artist.
> 
> A real modern Jackson Pollock


What do curt cobain and Michelangelo have in common? They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.


----------



## Taku (Jul 30, 2018)

Anthony bordain is definitely exploring parts unknown now. At least he made a reservation himself.


----------



## Taku (Jul 30, 2018)

The worst part about being a black Jew during the holocaust? They make you go to the back of the oven.


----------



## Jarren (Jul 30, 2018)

Infrarednexus said:


>


As a former lifeguard..... yes plz


----------



## bhutrflai (Aug 18, 2018)




----------



## CertifiedCervine (Aug 18, 2018)




----------



## Jay98 (Aug 19, 2018)

Violet's turn blue, Rose's are red, but whatever the name, everyone's the same once i make them dead.


----------



## Slytherin Umbreon (Aug 19, 2018)

Guide to understanding Asexuals:
Asexuals can divided into classes, based on the reason they abstain or their devotion to abstinence.


Apathy-Sexual: Truest Asexuals. Never cared. No desire to find a partner or experiment. Sometimes we forced ourselves to try because we thought we were "supposed" to. Sometimes we start experimenting with other sexualities to see if we were just doing it wrong. One day, I hear about the idea of Asexuality, looked it up and thought "Huh... That's an option. Neat."
Abstinence-Sexuals: Sexuals who choose to abstain, either temporarily or permanently, out of a belief it will make them better in some way. See: Religion, college, career. Permanent Ab-sexuals can upgrade to Ap-Sexuals.
Agnostic-Sexual: "We believe that Sex exists, but we can never know what it is." Ag-Sexuals can transition into Ab-sexuals as a form of denial, before eventually getting sucked into Ap-Sexuality.


----------



## Jay98 (Aug 19, 2018)

guide to understanding internetsexuals:

yes, you can fuck that.


----------



## ChapterAquila92 (Aug 19, 2018)




----------



## Jay98 (Aug 19, 2018)

ChapterAquila92 said:


> View attachment 37836



this guy is going to make a vegan food company very rich


----------



## CertifiedCervine (Aug 19, 2018)

This ones dark


----------



## ChapterAquila92 (Aug 19, 2018)




----------



## ChapterAquila92 (Aug 19, 2018)




----------



## Jay98 (Aug 19, 2018)

ChapterAquila92 said:


> View attachment 37838



 i like how you zoom in on it so we can tell what that's meant to be.
yep, that's definitely a human child. just checking.


----------



## AppleButt (Aug 19, 2018)

Dark humor is funny to me. 

Anyone remember that scene in Titanic where the guy jumped off the boat, hit the propeller on the way down, and spun around? 

Yeah I laughed my ass off in that scene.


----------



## NomyNoms (Aug 20, 2018)

Final Destination is my favorite slapstick comedy


----------



## ChapterAquila92 (Aug 21, 2018)




----------



## ScrewLoose (Aug 22, 2018)

JinxiFox said:


> View attachment 36155


Old guy at work did this a few years ago. Fuckers a genius


----------



## NomyNoms (Aug 25, 2018)

JinxiFox said:


> View attachment 36153



why don't you just put the body in the pinata and give them all a terrible surprise.


----------



## Jay98 (Aug 25, 2018)

NomyNoms said:


> why don't you just put the body in the pinata and give them all a terrible surprise.



WHAT THE FUCK?!


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## bhutrflai (Aug 27, 2018)




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## bhutrflai (Aug 27, 2018)




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## Okami_No_Heishi (Aug 27, 2018)

bhutrflai said:


> View attachment 38518 View attachment 38519 View attachment 38520


Lol


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## Jarren (Aug 27, 2018)




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## Okami_No_Heishi (Aug 27, 2018)

Jarren said:


> View attachment 38527


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## Jarren (Aug 27, 2018)

Okami_No_Heishi said:


>


Yeah, I went there


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## NomyNoms (Aug 28, 2018)

me and my boyfriend have redhead genes in the family but everyone in the family that's living has black hair and i'm asian.
if it were possible for us to have a baby, there's a chance it would be born ginger.
that would be hard to explain.


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## ScrewLoose (Aug 28, 2018)




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## Jarren (Aug 28, 2018)

ScrewLoose said:


> View attachment 38600


Oof, that's a good one. XD


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## Infrarednexus (Sep 2, 2018)

I love references to Fallout.


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## Pogo (Sep 3, 2018)

I love dark humor, but after a while people get tired of not being able to see.


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## HistoricalyIncorrect (Sep 3, 2018)

What is the difference between road kill dog and roadkill Jew?



-in front of dog you will see brake marks


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## Infrarednexus (Sep 4, 2018)




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## Tyno (Sep 4, 2018)

Yeah


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## ResolutionBlaze (Sep 5, 2018)

__ https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1037045629426524161


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## Infrarednexus (Sep 11, 2018)




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## JinxiFox (Sep 12, 2018)

NomyNoms said:


> why don't you just put the body in the pinata and give them all a terrible surprise.


Good idea, Even better because I'm going to be cremated!


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## JinxiFox (Sep 12, 2018)




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## JinxiFox (Sep 12, 2018)




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## JinxiFox (Sep 12, 2018)




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## JinxiFox (Sep 12, 2018)

One day my prince will come. One day.


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## JinxiFox (Sep 12, 2018)




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## JinxiFox (Sep 12, 2018)




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## JinxiFox (Sep 12, 2018)




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## JinxiFox (Sep 12, 2018)




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## Okami_No_Heishi (Nov 16, 2018)




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## bhutrflai (Nov 16, 2018)




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## bhutrflai (Nov 16, 2018)

And the sister meme...


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## Okami_No_Heishi (Nov 16, 2018)

bhutrflai said:


> And the sister meme...
> View attachment 47717


Bacon IS the candy of the animal kingdom!!*licks lips*


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## CertifiedCervine (Nov 17, 2018)




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## Okami_No_Heishi (Nov 17, 2018)




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## dragon-in-sight (Nov 17, 2018)

-Last Christmas a big charity organisation wrote a letter to the world's most influential nations to ask for their honstest opinion to solve the world hunger problem in the rest of the world. Sadly the request already failed at the level of understanding. In western Europe no one knew the word hunger, in eastern europe no one knew the meaning of honest, the Chinese government didn't know what opinion meant, in the middle east now one knew the meaning of solution and in the USA no one knew what the term "rest of the world" was meant to be.

-A priests asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, "Do you have any last requests?” - "Yes," replies the murderer. "Can you please hold my hand?"

-What were jesus last words when he got crucified? - "more nails! I'm slipping!"


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## bhutrflai (Nov 17, 2018)




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## JakeTheFoXx (Nov 18, 2018)

Yes. I dark humor. A bit too much often times. But I will remain reserved, and only go this far for the time being. Also, RIP Stan Lee! What a legacy youve left behind!


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## AppleButt (Nov 23, 2018)




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## Chaosmasterdelta (Nov 25, 2018)




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## Keefur (Nov 25, 2018)

Q: What is the worst thing about stopping a fox from having sex?

A: You have to bury the body.


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## JakeTheFoXx (Nov 26, 2018)

Keefur said:


> Q: What is the worst thing about stopping a fox from having sex?
> 
> A: You have to bury the body.


This made me literally laugh out loud!


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