# Telling my parents im a furry?



## Orangecoon (Feb 25, 2016)

so i would like to tell my mom im a furry and i kind of would like to buy a fursuit. My mom is relatively close to me and is very accepting and back when i was a brony she didnt mind it all. I dont often go through phases a lot. for example my brony phase which im glad i dont follow anymore went by quick and while on the other hand ive been a furry for about 4 years now and i dont want her to think that im just gunna blow through being a furry like its just a phase. Im just wondering what your guys' input would be on how to tell your parents that youre a furry and if you have, how did you approach telling them?


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## Wither (Feb 25, 2016)

forums.furaffinity.net: PSA: About "coming out" as a furry

There's that stickied post.

It's not a big deal. Don't make it a big deal. It's not something to hide. You're into it, so what? I remember a few years ago when my mother found out - I didn't even get to tell her (and that's not because I didn't want to, I just didn't feel the need too). I remember asking if that was okay and I got back "What?" So I asked again, clarifying. Her response was "Why the fuck would I care?" and then she turned on the TV.  

No one should give a shit. Especially you.


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## Sforzie (Feb 25, 2016)

Well, I've never actually told my mom I'm a furry. (My dad passed away some time ago.) But, I'm not sure I need to, since I'm an 'adult' and I don't live with her. I'm also pretty sure she wrote me off as 'hopelessly weird' back while I was still in school, so that probably helps. (I've also never told her I'm a lesbian, if only because she decided that I was one while I was in high school. True story. Takes a lot of the effort out of things.) 
I guess you could try the slow subtle route. Maybe show her a picture you think looks neat, and keep doing that until she just accepts it as something you're into now. Wait until she's accustomed to it before you go 'by the way I want to spend a thousand dollars on a suit'. 

But, yeah, it's not really something you need to 'come out' as being. As long as you keep your mother's exposure to the fandom on the clean side, she probably won't really care.


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## Incueye (Feb 25, 2016)

I've been into the furry fandom since I was in 3rd grade. My parents know I'm strange and kooky so it wouldn't surprise them. My dad if he ever finds out about furries, I know he'll try it out and dress up. I secretly wouldn't want him to because he already spends $$$ on popcorn machines, toy helicopters, racing cars, treats for my dog, building a bar and many other neat things. lol
You can start by showing them drawings and show your interests in characters that they grew up with (Micky Mouse, Looney Tunes) because that's how I was introduced to the furry fandom. You can show them people who dressed up and go to children's hospitals and other volunteer work.


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## Wither (Feb 25, 2016)

Sforzie said:


> Wait until she's accustomed to it before you go 'by the way I want to spend a thousand dollars on a suit'.


If it's his money, he should be able to do as he pleases, unless it interferes with needed life things like food, water, and shelter (he may pay rent or something, I don't know his life).

However, if it's not your money, then, well... why do you want it? To wear at cons? Talk to her about those cons. Tell her what it means to you to have a suit. Do your research before even asking. Though, in reality, you're most likely option is to pay for it yourself. Most parents don't drop a grand for any luxury type stuff at all, let alone something that's just a suit. ^^;


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## LazerMaster5 (Feb 26, 2016)

Your involvement in the fandom is only a big deal if you make it. This isn't like coming out as gay, where many people still have polarized views. Very few people really give a shit whether or not you belong to an internet subculture centered around talking animals.


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## Tatsuchan18 (Feb 26, 2016)

I showed my mom all the furry porn i was drawing for money. She was happy i was making money and just told me not to draw cub/child porn. XD


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## Zrcalo (Feb 26, 2016)

most parents are super supportive of artistic endeavors and socializations? 
You're purchasing/drawing art, you're hanging around people with similar likes as you, and you go to conventions and have fun as an adult. 

seriously. people make it a bigger deal than it is. Yeah there's sex. But it's just like going to anything.. you can have sex at any convention. Also, most art revolves around nudie ladies. so.... *shrug*


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## Orangecoon (Feb 26, 2016)

To everyone that replied, of course its not a big deal. Im just a very paranoid person i guess and my social skills are shit. I dont wanna introduce her to something i like and do it the wrong way to make her uncomfortable or something like that. Ill be honest i probably wouldnt be a furry if it wasnt for her lol, since i was a child she heavily influenced my life with animals. Almost every birthday party was animal themed, every halloween it was another animal costume, going to the zoo was almost a monthly thing, etc... I dont just font want her to think im mentally sick in some kind of attraction to animals.... I couldnt really care if my dad finds out, hes just in his own world most of the time.


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## perkele (Feb 26, 2016)

Why are you telling your parents you are a furry, this is a terrible idea and I want you not to do that, ever, thanks.


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## Wither (Feb 26, 2016)

perkele said:


> Why are you telling your parents you are a furry, this is a terrible idea and I want you not to do that, ever, thanks.


Because "Hey, ma, I like animals, art of animals, and talking to/hanging out with other people who share my interest" is the worst thing possible.


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## Fallowfox (Feb 26, 2016)

I suppose if your parents ask about why you're interested in animals you might tell them. 

My interest in the furrydom is, at least in part, sexual, so obviously I'm in no rush to tell my mother all about it.


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## TheKC (Feb 26, 2016)

I've been thinking about telling my parents lately. Far as they know I make money selling art online. They have never really asked about, they don't probably care what I'm drawing. But not showing my work to them, I feel makes them think I don't do much or work hard. Though my parents have always thought this way of me regardless what I do. I have shown mom one of my furry drawings: 

Me: I sold this. o w o 
Mom: *I *wouldn't want to buy that. =/ 
Me: o n o; 

lol I feel like Young Gru from Despicable Me.


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## Wither (Feb 26, 2016)

Fallowfox said:


> I suppose if your parents ask about why you're interested in animals you might tell them.
> 
> My interest in the furrydom is, at least in part, sexual, so obviously I'm in no rush to tell my mother all about it.


The thing is, that stuff can remain private. The fandom is sexual, yes, but that's not what's important. There's no point in telling them the sexual part, only the socialization part.

(I'm not trying to say you should tell them. There's no reason to. But if you do, I'm saying you don't need to share the sexual part.)


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## Croconaw (Feb 26, 2016)

I've masturbated to furry porn in front of my parents.


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## WolfNightV4X1 (Feb 26, 2016)

TheKC said:


> I've been thinking about telling my parents lately. Far as they know I make money selling art online. They have never really asked about, they don't probably care what I'm drawing. But not showing my work to them, I feel makes them think I don't do much or work hard. Though my parents have always thought this way of me regardless what I do. I have shown mom one of my furry drawings:
> 
> Me: I sold this. o w o
> Mom: *I *wouldn't want to buy that. =/
> ...


For me its young Willy Winka from Charlie and the Chocolate factory 


But yeah lol we havent had a thread like this in awhile. My parents are highly uninvolved in what I do so I just do my thing and they dont know I like furries. I think they have a very bare grasp on what furries are since I draw them, look at art, want to go to a con, and use the word at times but otherwise theyre just clueless and its likely best it stays that way


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## Wither (Feb 26, 2016)

Croconaw said:


> I've masturbated to furry porn in front of my parents.


Good man. Really breaking down those walls, really pushing us forward.


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## perkele (Feb 26, 2016)

Wither said:


> Because "Hey, ma, I like animals, art of animals, and talking to/hanging out with other people who share my interest" is the worst thing possible.



Your sarcasm is duly noted.....


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## malibu (Feb 26, 2016)

I've never actually came out as furry to anyone except my dad, but that's because he knew what furry was and asked me if being a furry is why I draw cartoon animals all the time. 

Don't make a huge deal out of it, and don't bring up the sexual nature of the fandom. Bring it up as a "hey, did you know there's an art community of people who like cartoon animals?" Framing it as an art community and using the word cartoon animals makes things more relatable and will probably make it easier for you to introduce it. 

Good luck!


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## Fallowfox (Feb 26, 2016)

Wither said:


> The thing is, that stuff can remain private. The fandom is sexual, yes, but that's not what's important. There's no point in telling them the sexual part, only the socialization part.
> 
> (I'm not trying to say you should tell them. There's no reason to. But if you do, I'm saying you don't need to share the sexual part.)



The biggest problem is when you have to tell partners, who aren't furries, really.

You might expect awkward irrelevant questions about whether you are attracted to _actual animals_ or disappointed accusations that having a secret kink means you haven't been honest, or don't trust them enough to tell them everything. 

After I split up with my first girlfriend I received 'anonymous' emails containing thinly veiled threats to 'out me' as a furry, lol.


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## Wither (Feb 26, 2016)

Erf. Never had that kind of experience. I've told friends, had family find out, but have never had to date someone with that issue. Don't think i ever will, though. People know I'm a furry.


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## TheKC (Feb 26, 2016)

WolfNightV4X1 said:


> But yeah lol we havent had a thread like this in awhile. My parents are highly uninvolved in what I do so I just do my thing and they dont know I like furries. I think they have a very bare grasp on what furries are since I draw them, look at art, want to go to a con, and use the word at times but otherwise theyre just clueless and its likely best it stays that way


You know all this is making me feel I really don't need to brake it to them. I need to just update my portfolio and show off my art. I think the only one that really has a problem is my brother. I've seen him make fun of furries before. He is up on all the media bull crap. =/ 

I should add to this topic. At the time, my boyfriend and I were talking about furries. At the time I was kind of a closet furry. We kind of embarrassingly found out we both like furries. It made me happy.
(we are married now)


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## Havas (Feb 26, 2016)

Doubt anyone around me even knows what a furry is. Guess it will remain my little secret....not like I was about to tell anyone about it, but if I was it would be a hell of a lot more awkward.


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## stablercake (Feb 27, 2016)

I told my dad and his gf today I was going to FWA next month (bc they asked what con it was, I usually just say "a con" to most people when discussing my art plans) and asked me what "furry" was (in exactly that way lmao) and I told them in an easy to understand way and since I paint almost exclusively animal subjects for my fine art career, they totally saw how I would be involved with that community and seemed excited for me. I didn't explain I was a furry and I had a sona, just that I was going and intended on making money drawing other people's animal characters. I omitted things that weren't relevant to them or would have made it weird because why bother? Plus I'm nearly 30 and they know I'm an oddball so I know it's not as easy when you live with your parents, maybe you should wait to pursue a suit after you have enough of your own money, live on your own and/or are in college?

That said I haven't told my mom that the Atlanta con is a furry con and she hasn't asked so I'm gonna avoid that for as long as possible...heh.


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## Fallowfox (Feb 27, 2016)

@stablercake In college all my money goes on tuition, rent and food. No money for suit. :c


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## stablercake (Feb 27, 2016)

Fallowfox said:


> @stablercake In college all my money goes on tuition, rent and food. No money for suit. :c


Bleh :c I guess my furry denial really helped me out in college since it wasn't on my radar then. You're right though, college isn't the best time for frivolous spending. It sucks but honestly I'm too broke to buy one but intend to make one, although not everyone wants to or can and I understand that, but if not for my willingness to make one I wouldn't be able to buy one for a good long while since freelance art isn't super lucrative for me yet. 

Sucks but TBH it's a luxury good which requires luxury budget which most people around 22 and under simply can't afford so maybe it's just not in the cards for a while OP (save for rich understanding parents)


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## Fallowfox (Feb 27, 2016)

stablercake said:


> Bleh :c I guess my furry denial really helped me out in college since it wasn't on my radar then. You're right though, college isn't the best time for frivolous spending. It sucks but honestly I'm too broke to buy one but intend to make one, although not everyone wants to or can and I understand that, but if not for my willingness to make one I wouldn't be able to buy one for a good long while since freelance art isn't super lucrative for me yet.
> 
> Sucks but TBH it's a luxury good which requires luxury budget which most people around 22 and under simply can't afford so maybe it's just not in the cards for a while OP (save for rich understanding parents)



As soon as I graduate and begin getting an income I'm going to start saving up for a fursuit. I want one more than a nice house or car, lol.


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## Orangecoon (Feb 27, 2016)

@stablercake @Fallowfox Well im in college now which is being paid through financial aid and scholarships, so i have a little extra money(i wouldnt use any of my parents money ever). I just dont wanna commission a fursuit, then a couple months it comes in and my parents are dumbfounded. Tbh im not even sure why i want a fursuit(its kinda like my brain just NEEDs it), Ofc id attend cons with it but most of the other uses for them are not in my interests.


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## Fallowfox (Feb 27, 2016)

Orangecoon said:


> @stablercake @Fallowfox Well im in college now which is being paid through financial aid and scholarships, so i have a little extra money(i wouldnt use any of my parents money ever). *I just dont wanna commission a fursuit, then a couple months it comes in and my parents are dumbfounded.* Tbh im not even sure why i want a fursuit(its kinda like my brain just NEEDs it), Ofc id attend cons with it but most of the other uses for them are not in my interests.



I bought some animal one-piece pajamas and my parents laughed so hard when they were rummaging through my room and found them.


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## Copperwuff (Feb 27, 2016)

Fallowfox said:


> I bought some animal one-piece pajamas and my parents laughed so hard when they were rummaging through my room and found them.


Lol, this is almost me.

Here's how I see it: being a furry isn't something you have to hide. Are you going to sit your friend down and tell them about how you like to play football and you need to come out for it? No, or at least, I hope not because it'd be extremely awkward.

Being in a fandom is a hobby. Wearing a fursuit or being artistic is a hobby. I personally would save up for my own stuff though, not asking my parents.


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## Ozriel (Feb 27, 2016)

There's no need to "Come out" of the furry closet. Being a furry isn't much of a big deal, unless you participate in the furry-kink community. Then again, no one needs to know  or will care. 
However, people in your age group may act a bit on the ambivalent/negative side with furrydom.


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## Fallowfox (Feb 28, 2016)

Ozriel said:


> There's no need to "Come out" of the furry closet. Being a furry isn't much of a big deal, unless you participate in the furry-kink community. Then again, no one needs to know  or will care.
> However, people in your age group may act a bit on the ambivalent/negative side with furrydom.



I think I can understand why people wouldn't want to keep their furry proclivities secret, as if it were something nasty.


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## Deleted member 82554 (Feb 28, 2016)

Good:
Mom, Dad, I have an interest in Anthropomorphic animals.

Bad:
Mom, Dad, I have an interest in Anthropomorphic animals _and _I draw porn of them. 


This has been a life lesson with, Mr. Fox.


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## SodaBubbles (Feb 28, 2016)

I never told my parents. Not really something I gotta tell them.

As for s.o.'s: the guy i've been with 12 years, already into that. the chick i've been with for almost four: she's a convert. used to think it was weiiiiiiiiiiiird but now she likes it and encourages me to draw porn.  [quick clear up for that sentence: i'm poly]


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## Strangeguy32000 (Mar 2, 2016)

What I did was bring up that I was building a fursuit at dinner one night (Friday, as a matter of fact).

They took it surprisingly well, given that the extent of my mom's knowledge of the Furry fandom comes from the CSI episode. ('Course that knowledge might not actually be there anymore on account of the strokes she's had)


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## Wakor (Mar 4, 2016)

Tatsuchan18 said:


> I showed my mom all the furry porn i was drawing for money. She was happy i was making money and just told me not to draw cub/child porn. XD


You have reached a level of trust with your mom that I never will. _My poor Catholic family can never know. _


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## Tatsuchan18 (Mar 4, 2016)

Wakor said:


> You have reached a level of trust with your mom that I never will. _My poor Catholic family can never know. _


im also 27, so ive reached that age where you can tell your parent about all the stuff you pulled in high school without any repercussion cause you're kind of an adult now. XD


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## FoxieWoxie (Mar 5, 2016)

Why are you approaching this like you're walking on eggshells? You like talking cartoon animals, it's nbd. I wouldn't even bother bringing it up unless it's relevant to the conversation either. If you live with her she'll notice and maybe ask what it is on her own and you can explain it then. 



Fallowfox said:


> After I split up with my first girlfriend I received 'anonymous' emails containing thinly veiled threats to 'out me' as a furry, lol.



Sounds like a real sweet heart! /s


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## SkyFurCreations (Mar 10, 2016)

Why the hell does anyone need to "know" you're a furry anyways? If you have an interest in collecting stamps, sea shells or have an interest in contact lenses, it just seems weird to "come out" to somebody about that. How would one even begin?

"Mom... I have something to tell you, MOM, please sit down... ok... for the past few years there's been something about me that I never told you... and I think you need to know..."

If you do that, it makes it sound like it's some sick fetish FOR animals. I think you should just live your life as normal, and if you want to buy ears or a tail, it's just your personal fashion, it's the furry trend. If you want a fursuit, going to Anthrocon is just a place where people express themselves as their unique selves as an animal.

I didn't read any of the comments, so I don't know if I'm repeating something or not.


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## Bidoyinn (Mar 10, 2016)

Just bring them to a furry movie. Like invite them. Tell them you really like furry movies. Or something.
Don't tell them about how you want to boink furries (if you do) and they hopefully won't care? If they're the kind of parents that will hold it against you then don't bother telling them at all, especially if you live with them. 

If you live with them they might also find out anyway. Just. Don't make it weird, really.


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## misono-jam (Mar 14, 2016)

I don't see any reason to tell my mom I'm a furry. 

And even if I did tell her she wouldn't get it. She had a hard enough time accepting me as a bisexual atheist. Even something as innocuous as being a furry would send her brain for a loop.


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## stablercake (Mar 15, 2016)

misono-jam said:


> I don't see any reason to tell my mom I'm a furry.
> 
> And even if I did tell her she wouldn't get it. She had a hard enough time accepting me as a bisexual atheist. Even something as innocuous as being a furry would send her brain for a loop.



I like sorta told my mom today bc FWA came up in conversation and she was like halfway trying to convince me I wasn't one and was just doing it to sell artwork to weirdos and I just agreed to avoid having to talk about it lmao


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## Insanity Steve (Mar 16, 2016)

I just told them out right if they love you they will accept you no matter who you are


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## Nerine (Mar 16, 2016)

Orangecoon said:


> so i would like to tell my mom im a furry and i kind of would like to buy a fursuit. My mom is relatively close to me and is very accepting and back when i was a brony she didnt mind it all. I dont often go through phases a lot. for example my brony phase which im glad i dont follow anymore went by quick and while on the other hand ive been a furry for about 4 years now and i dont want her to think that im just gunna blow through being a furry like its just a phase. Im just wondering what your guys' input would be on how to tell your parents that youre a furry and if you have, how did you approach telling them?



Buy the fursuit, tell her while in character.


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## Electro⚡Spectrified (Apr 4, 2016)

A furry is just like an anime-lover only with anthropomorphic characters. They love the art of anime characters. We love the art of anthropomorphic ones. They go to anime cons. We got to furry cons. It's the same thing except focused on a different theme, also the furry fandom has a bunch of dirty stereotypes. They wouldn't care if you said  that you like anime. The same should apply to the furry fandom for you. I understand why you would want to "come out", I have a bit of the same feeling too, but I think it's mostly because of the feeling that possibly they already know what the fandom is but have been mislead by the common stereotypes, and will criticize you. And if they do, tell them those are stereotypes, and possibly use research to back you reasoning. If you want to buy a fursuit but don't need their help, I would actually recommend surprising them while wearing it one day, just for the fun of it. (Also, the website needs to update the autocorrect to have the word "fursuit".) Anyway, just do or do not tell them. It's not something you need to tell them, as it's just an art form and hobby just like anime is, but sometimes parents just like to keep up to date on your hobbies and interests.


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## Inzoreno (Apr 4, 2016)

I never 'came out' as a furry to anyone beside a friend of mine who is also one. I cannot imagine actually telling my mom about it, I mean she couldn't accept that I registered as a democrat, or that I am an atheist, she's really not open-minded and there are just some conversations that I know are unlikely to end well.


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## Thundeere (Apr 4, 2016)

I don't think she'd care


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## Nerine (Apr 4, 2016)

Its not that big a deal.....Unless they saw the csi episode, then you got some explainin to do


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## Ricky (Apr 4, 2016)

Why do you have to tell anyone you're anything?

What is the end goal here?


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## Grddh216 (Oct 23, 2016)

*Actually you don't have to tell them it not a big deal. It's not like your telling them your gay or your  pedophile don't take it like that,because if I was a parent my kids said there a furry,I'll said okay why did you tell me that.so don't take it seriously if you want to tell them,do it but nothing will happen okay.*


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## RandomNinja11 (Oct 24, 2016)

Grddh216 said:


> *Actually you don't have to tell them it not a big deal. It's not like your telling them your gay or your  pedophile don't take it like that,because if I was a parent my kids said there a furry,I'll said okay why did you tell me that.so don't take it seriously if you want to tell them,do it but nothing will happen okay.*


congratz on finding the "bold" and "italicize" buttons.


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## shapeless0ne (Oct 24, 2016)

...there's very few reasons I can think of of why you would want to.


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## FoxInTheCloset (Oct 24, 2016)

*OLD THREAD GETTING BUMPED FOR NO REASON!*


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## Yakamaru (May 9, 2017)

^ Well done. You've necroed a WELL DEAD thread.


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## WolfNightV4X1 (May 9, 2017)

Remember kids, don't tell your parents you're a furry, they will say you're going to hell and kicking you out of the house


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## Yakamaru (May 9, 2017)

WolfNightV4X1 said:


> Remember kids, don't tell your parents you're a furry, they will say you're going to hell and kicking you out of the house


Only come out to your parents IF you are certain they will be neutral, or positive. Same goes for being gay. If you are UNCERTAIN of how your parents/guardians will react, keep that shit to yourself. In religious households be more aware. Religious people are more prone to being ignorant and less tolerant in general.

Best is to just keep that shit to yourself. You DON'T have to tell your parents everything. Especially if your parents aren't involved in any way, shape or form.


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## quoting_mungo (May 10, 2017)

Sending this thread to its final rest.


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