# Maximus The Cat Boy Adventures



## xenales (Nov 4, 2010)

Read and enjoy at 

http://maximus.smackjeeves.com/

Don't forget to visit

http://www.erinfreelanceartist.webs.com


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## Asswings (Nov 4, 2010)

I couldn't even get through it.

Also that name is kind of....


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## Smelge (Nov 4, 2010)

Ooh. Is this something new for me to savage review?


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## mitchau (Nov 4, 2010)

The dialogue is terrible, and the drawings certainly won't win over any readers.


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## xenales (Nov 4, 2010)

Thanks for your lovely comments everyone!


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## Smelge (Nov 4, 2010)

*Smelge Reviews: Maximus the Cat Boy Adventures*

No. Sod it. No review. I'm not even going to... I mean, what? This is...

Okay, first off, you are advertising your comic. It has 7 pages. That is it. And they were all uploaded on the same day. Now is not the time to be going "come read my comic". More to the point, stop doing your comic. Really. I don't mean this in a nasty way. There is no need for the comic, for several reasons:

*1 - It makes no sense.*

First, you need a coherent plot. This is sort of important. You need characters people can relate to, or get to know. In 7 pages, I have no fucking clue who anybody is. I don't even know why he just happened to find a key on the ground, with the most plot-convenient tag imaginable stuck to it. Why is he having recurring dreams? How can it be a recurring dream if it's only just been wedged into the story, like an ice-pick inserted into someones skull while they waited for a bus. Foreshadowing, coherence, or something to make a little sense.

Who are these friends? Why are they running around the park like they've all got brain damage? Why does the girls entire lower body seem to be capable of 180 degree rotation on page 5? Why should we give a shit about your characters? Here they are, quick activity, plot device, dream sequence, bam. Nothing learnt, no emotion, no caring about any one of them. Even the title character hasn't actually been given any personality beyond that of a kitten in a room with a disco-ball.

You have an idea, but it is crude and unfinished. It needs to make sense, or nobody is going to care about it. And sense is pretty damn important. If it's just events happening at random, you need a stable character to comment and remark upon these events. You can't just have everything and everyone shooting in all directions avoiding actual writing.

*2 - Art and writing*.

A comic needs at least one of two things. Good art or good writing. You can get away with slightly sloppy art if the story is well-written. You can get away with slightly bad writing if the art is great. It cannot be saved if either art or writing is bad. It is beyond redemption if both are terrible. And yours are both terrible.

Art can be improved. Practice. Study and learn to draw properly. It can be learnt, but it will take time. Same with writing. At the moment, it seems like you make shit up as you go along. This is bad. Plan. Write in advance, do scripts, plan how you want the panels to flow, sketch a layout and only then do your actual art. Work on it. Actually care about what you are creating, rather than just shit out whatever comes to the front of your brain.

Practice helps, but what you really need, is concise art. People need to be able to see exactly what is going on in a panel. If it's too full, too confusing, or too badly drawn, it loses any impact it might have had.

Working on a comic project before having decent art skills is a bad idea. A reader needs to be hooked into the story and the world in the first 3 pages. If you haven't got them by then, you have lost a fan. Simple as that. Bad art is an almost instant fail. Merely poor art can survive, as it should improve over time, but it does need some fantastic writing behind it. My advice to you, is to give up now. Go and work on developing your art and your writing. Keep your idea in mind, develop it, expand it. Write everything down. Plan and plot. Write down every last detail of your world and characters, regardless of relevance to the story. Make a world that works and makes sense. It means you can write believable stuff based in it. All the while, draw as often as possible. Draw something, work on poses, study how the body moves. Look at what you have done, look at what you have done wrong, and fix it on your next piece. Ask for critique regularly. Do not just look at it and go "yeah, that's good". It is not good until someone says it is. Family or friends do not count, as they will more likely lie or avoid the question to not upset you. Use the art section on here, we give good advice.

*3 - A synopsis should not tell you the story*.

A brief of the story is good. Gives people an idea of what to expect, see if it matches their interests. Giving a full story outline including major plot points before you've even uploaded the relevant comics is a bad move. Why read the comic? Just read the synopsis. Done.


*Conclusion:*

You have a lot of work to do. A comic strip is not something to do when your art and story telling skills are poor. One-shot gag strips, yes. Story based, no. My best advice is to quit this comic, work on your skills and try again in a few years. Maybe in that time, you'll go off this idea and develop something better. Maybe you'll keep this one and improve. Whatever. Whichever. Unfortunately, at the moment, you need serious work on both the art and storytelling.


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## Asswings (Nov 4, 2010)

Holy shit Smelge that was amazing.
I almost want to go send a link of that to some other people I know.

Op, please read and listen to the man.


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## Smelge (Nov 4, 2010)

In fact, because I'm a nice, fluffy person, I'm even going to offer to help you out.

If you want to stop this comic and learn stuff before attempting again, I have no problem with talking to you on MSN or some similar messenger and actually critiquing stuff you do and help you see where you are going wrong. Writing and art. I'm no expert myself, but I can usually see the most glaring problems, and maybe we can get you improved a bit quicker than normal.

Send me a note if you are interested.


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## xenales (Nov 4, 2010)

Thanks for the tips. I already have fans though that aren't just friends and family. And since almost everyone uses a computer to draw and I am doing this by hand except for the cover I am already good. I don't need your negativity. I already have a script written and you can keep your nasty comments to yourself. You are just jealous. That's okay. There's plenty of other people out there you should send your comments too. I am not one of them. You're all bastards anyway! Thank you all and have a nice pathetic life that you all tend to have!


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## Smelge (Nov 4, 2010)

xenales said:


> Thanks for the tips. I already have fans though that aren't just friends and family. And since almost everyone uses a computer to draw and I am doing this by hand except for the cover I am already good. I don't need your negativity. I already have a script written and you can keep your nasty comments to yourself. You are just jealous. That's okay. There's plenty of other people out there you should send your comments too. I am not one of them. You're all bastards anyway! Thank you all and have a nice pathetic life that you all tend to have!


 
Yep, I made critique, brought up good points, gave good advice, but because I didn't give you asspats, I must be a troll.

Good job.

Incidentally, none of the links to both of your cafepress stores work. Also, your Graphic art portfolio stuff is passable, but I'd whittle out the actual drawings in there, as it brings the semi-professional tone right down.

Also, if you're going to have testimonials on your site, try to get actual clients to write them. Doing it yourself and making up names isn't quite as effective.


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## Smelge (Nov 4, 2010)

Look, you have two options here.

1 - Have a flailing hissy fit, go cry a load and ignore everything and absolutely fail to improve, or improve, but incrementally.

2 - Read my advice, pay attention, work on what I mention and actually improve and put out something with quality.

Up to you. I am willing to lend assistance. Slightly less willing than before, but the offer is still there.


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## xenales (Nov 4, 2010)

Nah I am going to do something even better. Thanks for the tips the encouragement and whatever but now I do what I should have done in the first place. Not let you get to me and draw more pages of my comic. And of course continue my schooling.  Have a nice day!


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## Smelge (Nov 4, 2010)

I really need to start a list of Webcomics to be avoided.


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## Smelge (Nov 4, 2010)

And a "How to: Respond to criticism" thread.

http://forums.furaffinity.net/threads/85898-Criticism-A-how-to

Hint: Not like you.


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## Deo (Nov 4, 2010)

xenales said:


> Thanks for the tips. I already have fans though that aren't just friends and family. And since almost everyone uses a computer to draw and I am doing this by hand except for the cover I am already good. I don't need your negativity. I already have a script written and you can keep your nasty comments to yourself. You are just jealous. That's okay. There's plenty of other people out there you should send your comments too. I am not one of them. You're all bastards anyway! Thank you all and have a nice pathetic life that you all tend to have!



I want to bash your head in with your own spine. No. Seriously. You are a fucking cunt. I may be at the university to get my art degree, but even I'm not that full of ego and shit.
Please kill yourself by crumpling up said comic, asnd shoving it down your throat until you choke on it.


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## Smelge (Nov 4, 2010)

Uh, right, even though the OP is probably not going to be coming back here again, I would like to offer some serious and quite important advice.

The schools that you say you attend.

Longridge Writers Group and Penn Foster for Graphic Design.

First, Penn Foster is an easy course. They charge a high premium, and you do get a qualification at the end, but it's not very well respected. This is not so much and issue. However, you need to cancel your subscription to Longridge Writers Group. It's a verified online scam. They're taking your money for a degree that does not exist beyond a false certificate. Get out of that one and find a proper writing class. Most community colleges will have real creative writing classes a load cheaper than the current scam you are using.

http://www.nightshadebooks.com/discus/messages/378/2835.html?1242335460


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## OfficerBadger (Nov 4, 2010)

Smelge, how could you? I, for one, enjoy pink cat girls dressed in eighties reject apparel.


Anyway.
Funny how he/she went from  "Thanks for the tips" to basically "You're a meanie go away."



xenales said:


> And since almost everyone uses a computer to draw and I am doing this by hand except for the cover I am already good. I don't need your negativity. I already have a script written and you can keep your nasty comments to yourself.


 
What the does this even mean? You are some god free of criticism because you can -gasp- draw by hand? Everyone pretty much starts like that, genius. Or did I miss that kindergarteners now have art time on photoshop? Just because you can draw by hand doesn't mean you're good. Look at Goldenwolf's or DarkNatasha's art. Now look at yours. Look at theirs, look at yours. See a difference? You should.

Smelge has been nothing but be helpful and nice to you, and you treat them like this. Good job ass. In fact, they are probably trying to prevent you from a huge embarrassment. I can't wait until you get better - if you get better and you look back on this a few years from now a more mature perspective and realize what shit you were coming up with.

*Take the advice given to you and stop being an ungrateful twat
You will be thankful in the long run. You don't have the skill or maturity to balance art, dialogue, plot, characterization, stylistic components, panel placement, pace and all that other good stuff that makes a visual story a good visual story.
*


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## Smelge (Nov 4, 2010)

If you're after a fake diploma, you can email me your writing once a fortnight, along with $50 to my paypal. I can make notes, respond with badly spelled comments about how good it is and how your premiums are rising due to increase in skill, then in 18 months time, I can email you a nice certificate that means nothing, but at least I actually read your stuff.

You know, just like your writing college. Only difference is I'm honest enough to tell you up front that I'm scamming you.


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## Asswings (Nov 4, 2010)

Fuck I finally get to a real computer so I can actually type up a good response and everyone's already said everything I wanted to.


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## Mayonnaise (Nov 4, 2010)

xenales said:


> .  .  .   I am already good.


That is hubris. People usually start to stagnate from the point they  say that.


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## Taralack (Nov 4, 2010)

Yet another person registering to these forums expecting asspats, and immediately rage quitting when he didn't. Business as usual, FAF.


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## Smelge (Nov 4, 2010)

Toraneko said:


> Yet another person registering to these forums expecting asspats, and immediately rage quitting when he didn't. Business as usual, FAF.


 
The ironic thing is, that I wasn't actually savaging her, and the offer of assistance were genuine.

Don't forget to check out her website though. Apparently her artistic talent was spotted at an early age, according to the Bio. I assume this means it was spotted, and locked in a cupboard until it stopped making those pictures, until the age of 22, when she was allowed out of the cupboard, and now we have this thread.


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## Taralack (Nov 4, 2010)

Smelge said:


> Don't forget to check out her website though.


 
lol uh

If she's really such a "creative mastermind" I'm pretty sure she would have been able to make her own goddamn site layout rather than using a preset template. lmfao

also
_*a wild Snorlax appeared!*_
:V


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## Smelge (Nov 4, 2010)

Hold up, hold up, hold up.

http://erinfreelanceartist.webs.com/apps/links/

This is beautiful.

According to her own blurb, she is:
* An extraordinary artist, with a webcomic that is gaining in popularity (Extraordinary _is_ one word for her art. And yes. She now has two people watching her comic. Double the last number!)

* A great writer (She wrote her own words!)

Oh, actually, I think we've made a big mistake.
http://webupon.com/hosting/hit-webcomic-maximus/

Apparently, this webcomic is a hit.

Gosh, I feel so embarrassed.


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## Asswings (Nov 4, 2010)

Smelge said:


> Hold up, hold up, hold up.
> 
> http://erinfreelanceartist.webs.com/apps/links/
> 
> ...


 
It's a SUPER HIT. Look, 8 people like it!


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## Smelge (Nov 4, 2010)

Fucking hell, this girl is like Chris Chan 2.0

Also, saving the OP to save against deletion.



xenales said:


> Read and enjoy at
> 
> http://maximus.smackjeeves.com/
> 
> ...


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## Taralack (Nov 4, 2010)

Asswings said:


> It's a SUPER HIT. Look, 8 people like it!


8 people on Facebook who are probably friends who "liked" it out of pity and who did it to make her not feel bad. 



xenales said:


> I already have fans though that aren't just friends and family.


 http://www.smackjeeves.com/comicprofile.php?id=76294
3 people is _*a lot*_.


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## Smelge (Nov 4, 2010)

Toraneko said:


> http://www.smackjeeves.com/comicprofile.php?id=76294
> 3 people is _*a lot*_.


 
Uh...

One of those 3 is the authors own site. The second is her mum. Unsure about the third.


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## Taralack (Nov 4, 2010)

Smelge said:


> Uh...
> 
> One of those 3 is the authors own site. The second is her mum. Unsure about the third.


 
LOL ohshit you're right. Just... wow. Speechless. 

Sounds like either a brother or a phantom account. I was originally gonna say "bf" but I doubt she could have one...


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## Deo (Nov 4, 2010)

This sickens me. >:[
I hope my unhappiness leaks through the internet and poisons the OP with dissapoint.


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## Mentova (Nov 5, 2010)

This thread is hilarious. I wish the OP would come back and cry some more though.


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## Smelge (Nov 5, 2010)

I'm going to speculate that possibly the OP has some kind of mental disorder. Possibly Aspergers or a form of autism. The whole style and dogged determination to be right no matter how patently wrong seems to fit the bill.

In that case, OP, sorry about your whatever, but it still doesn't make anything that anyone said any less true. You need to work on your art and writing.

That said, from the comics blurb:



> Maximus is a cat like boy who goes on a lot of adventures. He is fifteen years old and has two mothers.


So how the fuck do you have two mothers? Is this some kind of daddy-issue happening here? Can't have your character having a father, so give him a second mother? Seems odd.

Oh god, I thought I was done here, until I spotted her Myspace username: http://www.myspace.com/DominatrixSexSlave18


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## mitchau (Nov 5, 2010)

Oh god, I didn't actually visit her site. 

That's gold, I thought she was doing this just as a hobby, not as a profession. 

[video=youtube;w6XqUdN-_Po]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w6XqUdN-_Po&feature=player_embedded#![/video]

This in particular made me lol, apparently all of the logos are actual commissions. I almost feel sorry for her clients, but I guess they hired her.


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## Smelge (Nov 5, 2010)

The thing is that most of the stuff she's showing there would make an actual graphic designer weep in pain. And the absolute worst part is where she blithely insists on calling herself a creative mastermind. Most of the stuff on that video looks like it was done in MS Paint.

You know, people study and train for years to go in to graphic design, and then this girl comes along, shits out some really poor stuff, then has the temerity to claim to be a professional. It is offensive to artists, graphic designers and writers when she claims to be a genius in those fields. She is not. She is mediocre at best, woefully inadequate at midpoint and kindergarten level more often than not. Her sites, especially the repeated assertions from herself that she is some kind of talented wonderperson just drags the name of people who can actually do these things through the mud.

In short, Erin Miller is possibly one of the most self-deluded people I have ever had the misfortune to deal with.


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## Taralack (Nov 5, 2010)

Judging by the quality of everything I've seen by her, I doubt she even has Photoshop on her computer.


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## Smelge (Nov 5, 2010)

Toraneko said:


> Judging by the quality of everything I've seen by her, I doubt she even has any form of talent.


 
Yeah, fixed that for you.

Even if it is a bit harsh. All she needs is practice and to lose the high and mighty attitude. But that's obviously not going to happen, so it's pretty clear that she has no hope.


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## mitchau (Nov 5, 2010)

Hopefully she realises it when her parents out of the picture and she can't make a sustainable income.


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## Smelge (Nov 5, 2010)

Bonus Hint:

[yt]we-o3LDFpwk[/yt]

Setting up a merchandising for your webcomic is a good idea. When you actually have a viable webcomic. 1 actual fan does not count. You wait until people actually ask about buying stuff, then you go to town. Not at the very start.


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## DJ-Fragon (Nov 5, 2010)

Yeah, that's a bad comic.


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## OfficerBadger (Nov 5, 2010)

mitchau said:


> This in particular made me lol, apparently all of the logos are actual commissions. I almost feel sorry for her clients, but I guess they hired her.



If they aren't made up companies, then they probably paid her in lima beans.


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## GingerM (Nov 6, 2010)

I almost feel sorry for her, but the hubris displayed in claiming to be a professional graphics designer with the... stuff... in her online portfolio - well. I feel quite certain that if she refuses to take criticism, her career will be short.


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## Smelge (Nov 6, 2010)

GingerM said:


> I feel quite certain that if she refuses to take criticism, her career will be short.


 
From all that I've seen so far, her career consists mostly of telling people how much of a genius she is, without actually having the genius to bacvk up those claims. It's a big web of bullshit. Main problem is that it isn't even a good web of bullshit, as it all falls apart the second you actually see her artwork.


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## DJ-Fragon (Nov 6, 2010)

Smelge said:


> From all that I've seen so far, her career consists mostly of telling people how much of a genius she is, without actually having the genius to bacvk up those claims. It's a big web of bullshit. Main problem is that it isn't even a good web of bullshit, as it all falls apart the second you actually see her artwork.


 
Sounds like the Dunning-Kruger effect:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning–Kruger_effect


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## Taralack (Nov 7, 2010)

DJ-Fragon said:


> Sounds like the Dunning-Kruger effect:
> 
> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning–Kruger_effect


 
Oh my god there is a name for this bullshit.

/applaud


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## mitchau (Nov 7, 2010)

DJ-Fragon said:


> Sounds like the Dunning-Kruger effect:
> 
> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning–Kruger_effect


 
That's a condition I definitely need to remember the name of for arguments sake 

Cheers.


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## Atona (Nov 16, 2010)

Main cast = furry naruto?
Arinna - Sakura. PINK EVERYWHERE, kinda tough but not tough enough token girl.
Julian - Sasuke. Black spiky hair, quiet badass demeanor.
Maximus - Blonde spiky hair, challenging rebel boy personality.

I encourage OP to continue the webcomic. It's very entertaining in many ways.


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## Taralack (Nov 16, 2010)

WHY WOULD YOU BUMP THIS
PLEASE LET IT DIE


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## Smelge (Nov 16, 2010)

I've just had a read through the latest pages.

Let's ignore the thing about that Arinna character apparently having breasts that grow from her neck. Let's concentrate on the lesbian thing.

I note that the main character seems to have two mothers. And the other female lead seems to be a lesbian. There seems to be some kind of issue going on here, and I suspect it's something personal.

Also, pacing is still off, art is not good, speech requires commas ("I'm tired of this old hag"? That either needs a comma or a thought bubble), hiding difficult bits of drawing with a big "POW" doesn't count, perspective is off, and for some reason, Maximus either has two shoulder joints per arm, or his collarbone is extra long. Also, if you're having to explain stuff in the comments below (all the comments are the OP), then you're not telling the story well.


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## Taralack (Nov 16, 2010)

Of _course_ they're lesbian.


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## Atona (Nov 16, 2010)

Toraneko said:


> WHY WOULD YOU BUMP THIS
> PLEASE LET IT DIE



WHY WOULD I LET SOMETHING LIKE THIS DIE?
FOR _YOUR_ SAKE? :V
If it's still on the first page and it's enjoyable, of course I'm going to promote it!


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