# Stupid things you used to believe



## Phoenix-Kat (May 15, 2014)

When I was a kid I used to truly believe that hummingbirds did not have feet or legs. I also believed ALL poodles were female and that ALL bald eagles were male.


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## Ohyoupokedme (May 15, 2014)

I used to believe that the world was a nice place.  I learned the truth the hard way.


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## Butters Shikkon (May 15, 2014)

I used to think eagles were all giant sized like the one in Rescuers Down Under. 

Oh, the sad day I learned they were small. u.u 

Oh and the God thing. :v


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## Misomie (May 15, 2014)

For awhile, Cesar Millan. It's sad because I learned positive reinforcement first and cringed the first few times I saw his show. Over time I bought into it. Pretty ashamed about the whole thing.


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## Sylver (May 15, 2014)

I used to believe that stupidity could be beaten. Oh, how horribly wrong I was.

However, as Ozriel once said, you can beat them...with a stick


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## Torrijos-sama (May 15, 2014)

I am a NICE man with HAPPY feelings.


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## FangWarrior (May 15, 2014)

When I was young, about 4 or so. I used to believe that my family and I would live forever, but then I discovered the hard truth... There was something called death. 

That, and Santa Claus got ruined for me at an early age... That sucked...


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## Butters Shikkon (May 15, 2014)

Misomie said:


> For awhile, Cesar Millan. It's sad because I learned positive reinforcement first and cringed the first few times I saw his show. Over time I bought into it. Pretty ashamed about the whole thing.



I haven't really seen too much of his show...is he considered...foolish now?


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## Phoenix-Kat (May 15, 2014)

Torrijos-sama said:


> I am a NICE man with HAPPY feelings.


I used to think you were a woman.


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## mcjoel (May 15, 2014)

Sincebutters wants to hide his in really tiny and white font I'll write it God


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## Lomberdia (May 15, 2014)

I used to think:

1) people died after sex like they were salmon.
2) that women peed out their assholes. I knew they didnt have a 'peepee' but i didnt know about the vagina back then.
3) that poop was stored in peoples' butt cheeks. so people with really fat butts had a lot of shit stored in them. 

I was a funny minded kid. I blame disney.


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## Phoenix-Kat (May 15, 2014)

That chinchillas did not need to drink and that the Chihuahuan Desert in Mexico was CRAWLING with stray chihuahuas (this was YEARS before Beverly Hills Chihuahua come out BTW) that would all want to come home with me if I ever went to visit there. I wanted a chihuahua BADLY as a kid. I did get my wish eventually.


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## Misomie (May 15, 2014)

Butters Shikkon said:


> I haven't really seen too much of his show...is he considered...foolish now?


Only by the behaviorists and positive reinforcement communities. He's getting a new show and his fanbase is as loud and supportive as always. Most refuse to admit he's abused dogs (they freaking show it on tv, it's horrible). Dominance training is outdated and can actually spike aggression levels.


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## Butters Shikkon (May 15, 2014)

Misomie said:


> Only by the behaviorists and positive reinforcement communities. He's getting a new show and his fanbase is as loud and supportive as always. Most refuse to admit he's abused dogs (they freaking show it on tv, it's horrible). Dominance training is outdated and can actually spike aggression levels.



Oh thank god. From the episodes I've seen he made owning a dog look like a bdsm lover's dream.


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## FangWarrior (May 15, 2014)

I used to think dreams were real, and I was exploring another dimension...


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## Mr. Sparta (May 15, 2014)

All dinosaurs are still alive, they just live in china.


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## Astus (May 15, 2014)

Ohyoupokedme said:


> I used to believe that the world was a nice place.  I learned the truth the hard way.



This


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## Kitsune Cross (May 16, 2014)

I used to believe I have free will and also the biggest lie of humanity *god*


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## Phoenix-Kat (May 16, 2014)

MoonFire* said:


> I used to think dreams were real, and I was exploring another dimension...


I know what that's like. I used to have have very VIVID dreams as a kid and was somewhat skilled at lucid dreaming. I also had the same dream every-night.


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## Torrijos-sama (May 16, 2014)

In the words of Friedrick Nietzsche, "The Christian resolution to find the world ugly and bad has made the world ugly and bad."

Only as people begin to actually live life, and refuse to let obsessive-compulsive behavior get in their way with religion, then happiness will find them.


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## Hachiro (May 16, 2014)

Having a future would be easy.


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## Tremodo (May 16, 2014)

I believed in telekinesis, kamahamehas (hey I was like 7!) and god... (here I was like 25)....

Oh, and like post above. A future. 

HA HA HA HA HA HA.

Dreams don't come true!, so many dead dreams around me.


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## Phyllostachys (May 16, 2014)

Lots of nationalistic and occidentalistic crap that Korean education injects into young minds in school, especially during history and ethics class.
And, various supernatural things, such as sprits, soul, Qi and afterlife.


Oh, and I almost forgot to add, the idiotic hope that Muslims would be nice and understanding.


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## Phoenix-Kat (May 16, 2014)

I used to think the when a police officer arrested someone and handcuffed them, they handcuffed themselves to the person. Thank you Rugrats...


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## Kalmor (May 16, 2014)

I used to be an otherkin.

Yeah...


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## Aleu (May 16, 2014)

I used to think adults were rational.


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## Alexxx-Returns (May 16, 2014)

I'm really embarrassed by this one, so I hope you guys get some luls from it.

I used to try and double-jump like in the video games.

>.< I'll banish myself now.


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## Aleu (May 16, 2014)

AlexxxLupo said:


> I'm really embarrassed by this one, so I hope you guys get some luls from it.
> 
> I used to try and double-jump like in the video games.
> 
> >.< I'll banish myself now.



You're pressing the wrong buttons

N00b


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## Lomberdia (May 16, 2014)

AlexxxLupo said:


> I'm really embarrassed by this one, so I hope you guys get some luls from it.
> 
> I used to try and double-jump like in the video games.
> 
> >.< I'll banish myself now.


Ahaha! Got the image of a kid jumping and flailing about in the air trying to double jump. 

This one isnt me but an old friend of mine thought that if he imitated everything they did in naruto that it would work for him also. Like running like a tard with your arms straight back and doing goofy sign language is going to make you run up a building. Then again, he was those kind of people that believed star wars was good and logical. I guess he was special. He did however run into a wall because he tried to run up it and slipped lol. Told him to learn parkour (or however its spelled) and he will be 110% more 'ninja' than any other narutard.


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## Aleu (May 16, 2014)

If we can see him, he's not ninja enough


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## Hachiro (May 16, 2014)

AlexxxLupo said:


> I used to try and double-jump like in the video games.



it's ok I've tried to do that too lol also flying and shit. 

Hey at least we tried it.


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## Alexxx-Returns (May 16, 2014)

Aleu said:


> You're pressing the wrong buttons
> 
> N00b



I knew I was doing something wrong! Well, that's my childhood wasted =V



Hachiro said:


> it's ok I've tried to do that too lol also flying and shit.
> 
> Hey at least we tried it.



I'm glad to know I wasn't the only one.


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## RabidLynx (May 16, 2014)

I used to believe dogs' noses were wet because they were always drinking from the toilet.
I thought all clouds came from the power plant near where I live (because there's always smoke coming from the top of the towers)
I used to think wolves were the coolest animals... then I switched to a lynx
I used to think that anyone who listened to loud heavy metal music with screaming and growling were idiots who didn't know what true music was
I used to think that growing up would be BAM! just like that. I thought I would go to sleep as a 4 year old and wake up the next morning as a full grown adult.

As a child, I was very confused about sex. So what I thought about it back then was hilarious. At first, I just kinda assumed that as long as the man and the woman slept in the same bed, after a while the woman would wake up pregnant. Then I learned that the woman and man did certain things in order for the sperm and egg to meet. I didn't know what that certain thing was, so I just guessed it. For a while I thought the man peed all over the woman and that was how she got pregnant. Then I thought oral sex was THE sex. After a dose of Internet and Family Guy when my parents weren't looking, I finally learned what I need to. Still funny to look back at it.


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## Lobar (May 16, 2014)

That the Libertarian Party was actually a middle ground between the left and the right.


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## Kitsune Cross (May 16, 2014)

Kalmor said:


> I used to be an otherkin.
> 
> Yeah...



1 to 15 years is the acceptable period of time for that, so it's ok I guess


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## sniperfreak223 (May 16, 2014)

I used to believe that drop tunings were stupid and onlyfor lazy bastards who don't want to learn to fret a proper power chord...now I play primarily in drop B 

I used to believe that being different was something that I needed to be ashamed of, and that the most important thing was what other people thought of me...but not anymore. I'm awesome the way I am and anyone who can't accept that can go fornicate themselves with a rusty monkey wrench.


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## alphakitsune (May 16, 2014)

I used to think penelope was a bad word.
I used to think if you got too much ink on your fingers you would die from ink poisoning.
Santa Claus
Easter Bunny
Tooth Fairy
thanks a lot mom XD


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## Mr. Sparta (May 16, 2014)

RabidLynx said:


> As a child, I was very confused about sex. So what I thought about it back then was hilarious. At first, I just kinda assumed that as long as the man and the woman slept in the same bed, after a while the woman would wake up pregnant. Then I learned that the woman and man did certain things in order for the sperm and egg to meet. I didn't know what that certain thing was, so I just guessed it. For a while I thought the man peed all over the woman and that was how she got pregnant. Then I thought oral sex was THE sex. After a dose of Internet and Family Guy when my parents weren't looking, I finally learned what I need to. Still funny to look back at it.



I used to think that during the wedding kiss, the man's tongue would travel into the bride's stomach and implant an egg. This made early wedding ceremonies much more disturbing for me.


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## Sylver (May 16, 2014)

You can buy girlfriends on Runescape for 50 gold pieces


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## The_Lone_Rangerover (May 16, 2014)

I used to (and stay with me on this one) believe that I owned a magical rubber band.

I realize this probably requires some explanation, so here goes nothing:
One day while riding in my car as a kid I found a rubber band on the floor of the car, so with no better ideas on what to do with it, I shot it out the window of the car. When I got back to my home from the car trip, I found a rubber band in the driveway, which I proceeded to pick up and put in the car. I then began a loop of shooting said rubber band from the car (while on the freeway usually) and then finding a rubber band somewhere in my front lawn. This continued for a number of months before the rubber band finally disappeared. Naturally I put one and one together and got "magical rubber band". To this day I still have no explanation as to what the hell was actually happening.


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## funky3000 (May 16, 2014)

For a few minutes when I was super young, I believed I could Skiddoo (like what they do in Blue's Clues).

So I grabbed a book, and chanted quietly so my mom wouldn't know I was going into a book, and jumped on the book. I tried again a few times. Then I became sad but only internally so my mom wouldn't know why I was sad.

I was an innocent dumbass.


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## Kosdu (May 16, 2014)

I drank sunblock, because it was all sparkly and thought it would give me the magic power to turn into an animal.
Gave me the magical power of vomiting, courtesy of poison control.

Paranormal, demon stuff, etc.
Manifestations of my own anxiety and depression, I try to forget.

Once, while deep in depression and gullible, a friend (later turned out he was schizophrenic) that we had "Ayakashis" living in us. Gosh I feel so stupid, really really do.

That I wasn't entirely gay.
I'm glad I can now say that is stupid.


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## Artillery Spam (May 17, 2014)

LionelKC said:


> You can buy girlfriends on Runescape for 50 gold pieces



Lumbridge was the best place to pick them up, to be honest.


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## Blackberry Polecat (May 17, 2014)

alphakitsune said:


> I used to think if you got too much ink on your fingers you would die from ink poisoning.



Give yourself a break, adults love telling kids this one!
ALL of my teachers would say this and freak out if you wrote notes on your hands.


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## Xiz (May 17, 2014)

I thought that if I pressed my face on the TV long enough when I was like 6ish I would get morphed into the TV and be in the show. 

...that dream didn't last long


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## alphakitsune (May 17, 2014)

I used to think I was a bird when I was little. I have no idea why I thought that. I was really stupid and irrational at that age. One time I was looking in a book about birds. And I was imagining the kind of bird I would be when I grew up. I would always look on boxes and remember when I used to be a toucan. I imagined myself being a different bird at different times of my life. Like I thought I would be a stork when I turned 11 or something. Good times.


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## Sulfide (May 17, 2014)

-Woody in toy story was cast by Woody Nelson
-Enlisting was a fantastic idea
-Adults were always right
-My government listened to me (exluding the NSA)
-it was actually butter
-mt step dad was The Rock (Dwaine Johnson)


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## RabidLynx (May 17, 2014)

I actually thought my real father was Barack Obama and I was adopted
no seriously i'm not kidding


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## Volkodav (May 17, 2014)

I used to believe horses, donkeys, etc had internal testicles.


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## Abbi Normal (May 17, 2014)

When I was about four or five, I thought soy sauce gave me tonsillitis. 

See, my favourite food at the time, the food I could have eaten every damn day if you'd have let me, was hamburger and rice with soy sauce. Just plain fried ground beef, plain white rice, with a bit of soy sauce. I dunno. But, my Mom always used to buy soy sauce in these bottles that had a tiny spout under the cap, so it sprinkled instead of poured. I couldn't pour from the bottle otherwise, because my little thumb was too small to cover the open bottle top and it would all come out at once. One day, my Mom bought one of the pour-top ones instead of the spout ones, and I went to put soy sauce on my meat and rice without looking, and like half the bottle just poured out all over my rice, rendering it an inedible soy sauce soup with a bit of rice floating in it. My mother was FURIOUS that I'd ruined my food by not watching what I was doing, and took it away and yelled at me for it (though I think she ended up incorporating at least some of it into turkey stuffing, it being a couple days before Thanksgiving). I went to bed without dinner that night. I think she must have said something about how eating a large amount of soy sauce would make me really sick, that made me make the connection to the tonsillectomy.

Because the next day, I did in fact have my tonsils removed. These events were unrelated. I'd had recurring ear infections at that age, all the damn time, caused by tonsillitis, so I was having them out whether I'd screwed up the soy sauce the night before or not. No one must have explained to *me* why my tonsils were coming out, though, since from that point I thought my chronic ear aches were caused by my love of soy sauce. 

So for years I thought they took my tonsils because I ate so much soy sauce it gave me ear infections.


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## Tremodo (May 17, 2014)

Clayton said:


> I used to believe horses, donkeys, etc had internal testicles.


that's a nice belief, such a nice belief. Too bad about the reality.


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## Volkodav (May 17, 2014)

Tremodo said:


> that's a nice belief, such a nice belief. Too bad about the reality.


I was pretty confused when I learned what gelding was


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## SkyboundTerror (May 17, 2014)

I used to believe many, many things.

My favorites: 

- The '50s and before were in black and white. There was no such thing as color in the past, because color hadn't been invented yet. 
- Swifts could decapitate you, or cut off your legs, if they flew too close to you. 
- The FBI would find your house and kill your pets if you committed any theft. 
- Staring at the Moon would transform you into a werewolf. 
- Having $10 on you meant you were rich.


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## Artillery Spam (May 17, 2014)

I used to believe all pit bulls were evil and needed to be exterminated to ensure public safety.


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## duddy1 (May 17, 2014)

I was once told that kool-aid was poisonous. I was 3, and my mom had to trick me into drinking it to prove that it wasn't. My older brother was evil back then :3


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## Zerig (May 17, 2014)

I used to be a liberal


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## Phoenix-Kat (May 17, 2014)

I used to think all homosexuals were mentally ill.


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## Volkodav (May 17, 2014)

I used to believe that dragonflies would sew up your face (mouth, nose, eyes, etc) if they landed on you. My dad told me they would and called them "sewing beetles".

I also used to believe that "wallpaper" on the internet meant that you could print it out and use it as wallpaper IRL.


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## Kalmor (May 17, 2014)

> I also used to believe that "wallpaper" on the internet meant that you could print it out and use it as wallpaper IRL.


I got to admit, that would be cool if it were actually true.


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## Volkodav (May 18, 2014)

Kalmor said:


> I got to admit, that would be cool if it were actually true.



Many hours were spent trying to figure out how to get Jimmy Neutron room wallpaper


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## Mr. Sparta (May 18, 2014)

Clayton said:


> Many hours were spent trying to figure out how to get Jimmy Neutron room wallpaper



"ALL RIGHT WHO THE FUCK HAS BEEN USING ALL THE COLORED INK!?"

-Clayton's dad.


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## Torrijos-sama (May 18, 2014)

Shit would definitely be worth it. Along with the intermission screen from Kung Pow.


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## Deep Blu Issy (May 18, 2014)

Sounds stupid, but when I was very young, my dad convinced me that if I drink in the same spot near the exp. date on the lip of the Pepsi bottle where it says "For best taste, drink by date on bottle", it would taste better......*swims away and hides*


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## The_Lone_Rangerover (May 18, 2014)

I used to believe that I could levitate.

I was actually just closing my eyes and standing up on my tip toes.
I was like a little David Blaine.


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## Blackberry Polecat (May 18, 2014)

Deep Blu Issy said:


> Sounds stupid, but when I was very young, my dad convinced me that if I drink in the same spot near the exp. date on the lip of the Pepsi bottle where it says "For best taste, drink by date on bottle", it would taste better......*swims away and hides*


Troll dad.


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## Phoenix-Kat (May 18, 2014)

Blackberry Polecat said:


> Troll dad.


Mine used to tell me that girls were born with tails but they were removed after birth along with the umbilical cord.


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## Hachiro (May 18, 2014)

I used to think the umbilical cord was really the penis and when the doctors cut it, it'd define the size of it, and in girls they would remove it all. 

Now that I look at it, it's just really disturbing.


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## Phoenix-Kat (May 18, 2014)

I used to think that thunder was just the sound of God going bowling.


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## FangWarrior (May 19, 2014)

sniperfreak223 said:


> I used to believe that being different was something that I needed to be ashamed of, and that the most important thing was what other people thought of me...but not anymore. I'm awesome the way I am and anyone who can't accept that can go fornicate themselves with a rusty monkey wrench.


I used to feel the same way, I feel ya.


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## FangWarrior (May 19, 2014)

SkyboundTerror said:


> - Staring at the Moon would transform you into a werewolf.


I've done this so many times, sadly nothing happens... damn movies...


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## FangWarrior (May 19, 2014)

- I used to believe that everyone had the same crotch, and that women got pregnant simply by hitting the age of 16. (I was young...)
- I used to think that animals were speaking a foreign language that we hear as barks, meow, chirps, and howls.
- I used to think that all gays sounded like girls. 
- used to believe that farts could kill
- used to think Disney characters and characters in general were real.
- I used to believe that eggs in the refrigerator were hatchable.  
- I used to think that I could become a werewolf, just simply by being bitten by an ordinary wolf.


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## Batty Krueger (May 19, 2014)

That peepee was stored in your nutsack instead of this bladder thing.


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## sniperfreak223 (May 19, 2014)

-I used to believe in creation.
-I used to believe Hell was scary, until I discovered Slayer at age 5.
-I used to believe there was a real-world reason to learn German, then I discovered about 80% of Germany's population can speak English.
-I used to believe that being pinched would give you cancer.
-I used to believe that freckles were actually just a sun tan that was too shy to come all the way out.


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## Hooky (May 19, 2014)

I used to believe that we are better than this.


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## CamouflageSheep (May 19, 2014)

I used to believe FA was a happy, clean place. Then I realized my NSFW filter was on.


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## funky3000 (May 19, 2014)

d.batty said:


> That peepee was stored in your nutsack instead of this bladder thing.



That reminds me! I remember when I was very young I saw a picture of a brain, and one of my baths I happened to noticed my balls were in two halves and wrinkly, like a brain. So, I thought it was my brain.

I guess it explains why guys think with their dicks.


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## Milo (May 19, 2014)

lot's of things

a surprising amount of things.

an amount of things that; to another human being; would genuinely surprise them how many stupid things another human being could have believed


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## FangWarrior (May 19, 2014)

- Used to think that the moon was a cookie and I could pull it down and eat it
- used to think that I could ride on the back of a charizard
- I used to think that all dogs had weiners
- I used to believe that putting a mask of a creature would give you it's power. (For example, I put on a wolf mask, now I have wolf powers, kinda like in the movie "The mask" with Jim Carrey.)
- Used to think cars were evil and had minds of their own. They just wait until your parents aren't in the car... The car will then take you far away from your home, somewhere you will never see home again.


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## Kitsune Cross (May 20, 2014)

As a child I used to believe the police was evil and was scared of it, as an adult I realized my fears were true


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## The_Lone_Rangerover (May 20, 2014)

I used to believe I'd never swear when I grew up. Yah, I was naive.


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## Torrijos-sama (May 21, 2014)

Kitsune Cross said:


> As a child I used to believe the police was evil and was scared of it, as an adult I realized my fears were true



Before I ever got to see meatheads in blue uniforms tackling people, I got to watch a truck with military police come in front of my house in pickle suits with M16's raised, and arrest my sister in the midst of a mental breakdown.

Civilians don't know dick about police unless they've seen some military cops.


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## The_Lone_Rangerover (May 21, 2014)

Freaking scary is what it is


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## RabidLynx (May 22, 2014)

-used to believe anybody who ever touched a single drop of alcohol were miserable lowlifes. understandable, as a kid I saw my mother pass out from alcohol all the time, and adults and my school always told us over and over how terrible alcohol is and how it'll ruin your lives if you ever touch it...
- I thought Germans were scary. it had nothing to do with the Nazi stereotype, I didn't even know what a Nazi was back then. I just found them weird and the way their language sounded was scary to me. Now I'm learning German and want to move there the moment I turn 18.
-along with the German thing, when I learned what a Nazi was, like any other idiot I assumed all Germans were Nazis.
-I used to believe all adults were terrible people who didn't give a crap about kids, they just want to hurt you and they cannot be trusted. As I have gotten older I have realized this is true about a lot of adults.
-used to believe that furries are gross, disgusting, fat freaky man children. I have also realized this is true for the most part, but not every furry is this way.
-used to believe pokemon was stupid and a waste of time.
-thought women pooped the baby out. I think every kids thinks this though.
-I used to believe America was the greatest country, that every other country was poor and miserable and looked up at America and everyone wanted to live here. hahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahhaha


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## TrishaCat (May 22, 2014)

That humans only use 10 percent of their brains. Turns out thats a load of bologna.


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## mcjoel (May 22, 2014)

That my grandpa was straight.when he was actually a giant queen(his words not mine)even when I found out when i was 13 i didn't really care. I just felt stupid for not realizing it.


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## chesse20 (May 22, 2014)

that stuff didn't exist until it was observed and what became real was based on your expectations of what something would look like


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## TrishaCat (May 22, 2014)

Oh yeah! That typing in "/hack" on a Minecraft Classic server would actually cause the FBI to investigate me.


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## z999z3mystorys (May 22, 2014)

That I could come up with something interesting to add to this thread, but after reading the other responses... yeah I got nothing.
That life wouldn't suck if you could figure out the correct way to be happy (Captain pessimist, away!)


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## Grungecat (May 22, 2014)

Didn't know there was more that one variety of apple. I thought the green ones were red ones that were picked too soon.


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## Phoenix-Kat (May 22, 2014)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GKyT1quPVqM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=atgdjIElAcg&index=5&list=PLA409F3A5C6BC518D


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## RabidLynx (May 24, 2014)

that I was straight
also thought I was cisgender for all my life too


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## sniperfreak223 (May 24, 2014)

At one point in my life, I thought bad things only happened to bad people, and as long as I didn't do anything bad nothing bad would ever happen to me. Damn was I naÃ¯ve.


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## ShÃ nwÃ ng (May 24, 2014)

-Advancement is based on merit.
-That it's ok to buy cheap toilet paper.


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## Rhee (May 24, 2014)

one day I'd wake up and be mature, still waiting


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## Pinky (May 24, 2014)

I used to believe that pet cats would become tigers and dogs would become bears when they got older for some reason.


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## VintageLynx (May 24, 2014)

I read the sign CAUTION DOGS every day without knowing what it meant. I pronounced it 'cowtion' to myself, wondering what that breed looked like...


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## sniperfreak223 (May 24, 2014)

Until I worked at Walmart, I used to believe hard work and genuine competency was the way to get promoted, I now know it all comes down to brown-nosing and shameless self-promotion.


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## TransformerRobot (May 24, 2014)

I used to believe that witch hunters were heroes, until I found out about what motivated the heartless bastards.

It all came from a bunch of misogynist pigs who wanted to suppress every pre-Christian religious and spiritual practice they could find, ESPECIALLY ones that put women in positions of power and admiration.


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## Phoenix-Kat (May 24, 2014)

I used to think that I could turn a plastic soda pop bottle into a hamster cage.


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## Punnchy (May 30, 2014)

I used to believe that women had weaker bladders then men.


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## Kit H. Ruppell (May 31, 2014)

funky3000 said:


> That reminds me! I remember when I was very young I saw a picture of a brain, and one of my baths I happened to noticed my balls were in two halves and wrinkly, like a brain. So, I thought it was my brain.
> 
> I guess it explains why guys think with their dicks.


This is *glorious*


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## funky3000 (Jul 7, 2014)

I used to believe I was uncut until I was assed to look up the difference just a few days ago.

God I'm retarded. xD

I never knew I was circumcised. :I

Feel free to call me dumb.


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## sniperfreak223 (Jul 7, 2014)

funky3000 said:


> I used to believe I was uncut until I was assed to look up the difference just a few days ago.
> 
> God I'm retarded. xD
> 
> ...



Simply put: if you live in the US, you're probably circumcised. If you don't...you're probably not. It seems Americans have an unnatural obsession with what a dick should look like.


----------



## Distorted (Jul 7, 2014)

-I used to believe all white people were bad.
-I used to think that God would kill me if I disobeyed him.
-I used to think gay people were diseased and evil.
-I thought if I ran fast enough I could run into the future.
-I thought the moon was trying to kill me at one point. I've never played Majora's Mask for this one reason.


----------



## WolfNightV4X1 (Jul 7, 2014)

I thought birds were mammals '^_^ But that was when I was young...

Also, I used to think 'wedding' was when a couple got wet in the rain, or 'baby shower' was when people had a party and watched a baby washed in the tub. I was a very literal child.

...and you don't want to know what I thought a honeymoon was


----------



## Shadow Jaeger (Jul 7, 2014)

I used to believe pokemon were real, but no one could find them, i used to go outside with mg friends looking for them. I didn't find any but i found a super potion ( half empty bottle of irn bru )


----------



## Flavur (Jul 8, 2014)

When my parents took me to Church when I was a kid,
I used to think that the Eucharist was someone in the back literally chopping up pieces of Jesus and feeding it to everyone.

I used to think Adults could read your mind.

I also used to think Adults were never once children like me.


----------



## Digitalpotato (Jul 8, 2014)

I used to believe that people were naturally good.


----------



## Buxly (Jul 8, 2014)

lol its not really something silly I used to believe.

But when I was younger I didnt learn what sex was until I had reached grade 7 lol. I was a very innocent child it seems ;-;


----------



## Calemeyr (Jul 8, 2014)

That Republican politicians could be good people too. But then the moderates, under ze command auf ze fourth reich auf ze Koch brothers, got replaced with racist, zealot teatrolls, a turtle, and an oompa loompa. But the Democrats can never get anything done because they are wimps. And Obama is too soft on these neo-Republicans. So yes, I used to have faith in our politcal system. And that turned out to be stupid.


----------



## Crimson Wolf (Jul 8, 2014)

First off, geesh if the above comment was any more biased it would be named MSNBC  xD  But really lol okay here is one that would make y'all laugh.  In my neighborhood we had a sign saying Slow Children.  I thought it meant like that the house it was in front of meant their kids were retarded and to be weary while driving by so ya don't hit them xD  Hey at least I was half right x.x


----------



## CAPTA1N (Jul 9, 2014)

That all the stars you could see in the sky was literally all there was.

And that stupid 2012 Armageddon crap.

just no.


----------



## Batty Krueger (Jul 9, 2014)

That my ballsack was where pee was stored.
But I was 5 and believed a lot of stupid shit.


----------



## Hikaru Okami (Jul 9, 2014)

I used to believe I can turn into a wolf using spells. 

I'm currently using this method to become a power ranger. Spells gotta work for something :V


----------



## Carnau (Jul 9, 2014)

When it comes to these topics you're never in short supply for all of the jaded "i thot god was real" posts.
Anyways I thought Jenga was a form of witchcraft when I was little. Not in the bad it-must-be-feared sort way, but when you look at it and listen to the name it does sound a little witchy in an adorable way.


----------



## Abbi Normal (Jul 10, 2014)

That's not so stupid, I could see a kid confusing Jenga with Ouija.


----------



## Ryuuza-art (Jul 11, 2014)

Not a _belief _exactly, but when I was little I wondered if animated characters were people in costume (because how else were they getting them to move?).
My brother and I also used to dig through gravel paths believing that we'd found loads of fossils and dinosaur teeth.


----------



## Wax (Jul 11, 2014)

I actually had loads of stupid ones, but this is by far the stupidest. There's this really tall hill in my town that leads to a U-shaped road called "The Crescent." I remember asking my mum one day what that road was called and she told me it was called the crescent. Then, I remember noticing how the moon changes - you know, from a full moon to a new moon and such, and I asked my brother what type of moon it was one night, and he told me it was a crescent moon. So putting two and two together I came to the conclusion that the moon was the road called "The Crescent."
In hindsight I didn't give it much thought considering the moon often showed up on the opposite side of the sky from where the crescent would be.

Still I remember being really excited going to the crescent, because I thought I was on the moon.


----------



## Nekokami (Jul 11, 2014)

I once convinced myself I was an alien. What the fuck was I smoking as a kid?


----------



## Pantheros (Jul 11, 2014)

i used to believe that if you had enough willpower, faith, hope and concentration combined at the same time you could heal mortal wounds, stop bleeding, cure diseases, cure insanity and depression (all for yourself).

i still kinda do. however not on the same outrageos level


----------



## Kerocola (Jul 11, 2014)

My misconceptions as a kid were mostly with movies. I honestly can't think of anything other than this:
I thought movies were always filmed in one take, in chronological order as the viewers see it. I wondered why actors never had to sneeze, messed up their lines, etc.
I also thought that when actors died in films, they actually were sacrificing their lives for their role. I wondered why the hell you'd ever want to do that.


----------



## Hooky (Jul 11, 2014)

I remember thinking that there was someone living in the abandoned hospital building that overlooked the school playground.


----------



## Mr. Sparta (Jul 11, 2014)

I used to think that William Shatner had a less successful twin brother named Bill Shatner. I always wondered why they were never shown in the same room...


----------



## Esper Husky (Jul 11, 2014)

I used to believe that the world would judge you for your character, your personality, your morals, your ethics, and your human nature...

... and not for your looks, how big your junk is, whether you're a gym rat or a sexy ass fine piece of work, or how stacked that bank account is, or...

> BITTER. CYNICAL. RAGE. <

I also once believed I could never possibly care about aesthetics of something versus the quality of said something. Well, shit.

Also:* myself.*


----------



## Alexxx-Returns (Jul 12, 2014)

I used to think that EVERYONE on the internet was a pedophile, and that I'd eventually get molested if I talked to anyone. And if this wasn't the case, they wanted to commit identity fraud with mine or anyone else's information.

This one kind of came from my parents... and I didn't stop believing it till I was around 15 >.<


----------



## alphakitsune (Jul 12, 2014)

I used to think that by age 11 you would grow a unibrow and you had to shave your eyebrows or something. I was in first grade or something and I didn't really know any older people. But I knew this 3rd grader with a unibrow and I just thought she was too lazy to shave it.


----------



## Casual Cat (Jul 12, 2014)

I used to believe that coasting through school wasn't a stupid thing to do. Then I applied to uni and they were all like, "lol nope".

Keep those grades up, chilluns.


----------



## Kitsune Cross (Jul 12, 2014)

I thought it was so cool to don't give a shit about school, fucking teenagers (I talking about me obviously)


----------



## Wax (Jul 13, 2014)

funky3000 said:


> I used to believe I was uncut until I was assed to look up the difference just a few days ago.


I didn't know the (physical) difference until a few months ago, if that makes you feel better.


----------



## Hakar Kerarmor (Jul 13, 2014)

I used to believe a cold winter was proof against global warming.


----------



## Rekel (Jul 18, 2014)

When I was little, I thought clouds only came from the steam pipes at all the saw mills by where I live. And instead of calling them saw mills, I thought they were cloud makers.

http://ak3.picdn.net/shutterstock/v...ustry-sawmill-lumber-and-steam-pipes-zoom.jpg


----------



## Inpw (Jul 18, 2014)

Santa
Easterbunny
Jesus
God


----------



## Kitsune Cross (Jul 18, 2014)

Accretion said:


> Santa
> Easterbunny
> Jesus
> God



HOW DARE YOU DOUBT THE GLORY OF THE EASTERBUNNY!?


----------



## delphoxy (Jul 20, 2014)

I used to think "Living on a Prayer" was "Living on a Prairie," "Eye of the Tiger" was "My Apattizer," and that you could vacuum tornados to make them go away.


----------



## Julum (Jul 20, 2014)

God
That I was a nice, positive person.
That the world was a good place.
That there was nothing wrong with America, and it was perfect.
That I was straight.
That babies came out of a woman's ass.
That formal clothing sucked.
That my family was rich, and I was going to have a perfect life.
Santa Claus, Tooth Fairy, etc.
That my mother's father was a nice person.
That I would never swear.

I'm only 14, so I only believed most of these things when I was very young.


----------



## Alexxx-Returns (Jul 20, 2014)

Rekel said:


> When I was little, I thought clouds only came from the steam pipes at all the saw mills by where I live. And instead of calling them saw mills, I thought they were cloud makers.
> 
> http://ak3.picdn.net/shutterstock/v...ustry-sawmill-lumber-and-steam-pipes-zoom.jpg



Oh my god, you reminded me.

Until I was like 15, I had no idea why the sky would become transiently overcast. I had no idea it was clouds moving over the sunlight.


----------



## Feste (Jul 20, 2014)

In the winter, when it got cold enough for the pipes to crack, there'd be air in the water pipes. Whenever I'd use the toilet or a sink and heard the noise afterwards, I always though the house was going to explode. Took me way to long to realize what was going on ><.


----------



## ZettaBit (Jul 20, 2014)

I used to believe that life couldn't get any worse. Then I had my own bills to pay 
Also that people couldn't get any stupider, < This one gets beaten every day xD


----------



## Alexxx-Returns (Jul 20, 2014)

That getting a degree would help me get a job >.<


----------



## Kitsune Cross (Jul 21, 2014)

AlexxxLupo said:


> That getting a degree would help me get a job >.<



I'm kinda waiting for it to 'just appear', like suddenly I'm working, doesn't it work that way '-'?


----------



## Feste (Jul 21, 2014)

AlexxxLupo said:


> That getting a degree would help me get a job >.<



Well, technically, you're 30% more likely to get a job with a degree according to this: http://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2014/02/11/the-rising-cost-of-not-going-to-college/. So keep that chin up .


----------



## AcidNeku (Jul 23, 2014)

When I was veeery little, I used to think everything in movies actually happened and I asked my mother why people let themselves get killed voluntarily for a movie.


----------



## Jabberwocky (Jul 23, 2014)

I used to think that Narwhal whales were mythical creatures and that they didn't actually exist because they looked like fish unicorns.


----------



## Lobar (Jul 24, 2014)

Feste said:


> Well, technically, you're 30% more likely to get a job with a degree according to this: http://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2014/02/11/the-rising-cost-of-not-going-to-college/. So keep that chin up .



It's a lot of fucking money for just a 30% chance.


----------



## WolfNightV4X1 (Jul 24, 2014)

I wondered why store people wouldn't just be nice and sell things really cheap, like for a penny.

I mean, in my mind selling things for a penny would make all the clients come to your store because it's less expensive then the competition. I imagined what it would be like if I made a penny store...

I believed this until I was 11 or 12...the concept of an economy confuses me. Even to this day.


----------



## Kocyra (Jul 24, 2014)

That babies came out of the "Other end"
That going to college was mandatory


----------



## alphakitsune (Jul 24, 2014)

AlexxxLupo said:


> Oh my god, you reminded me.
> 
> Until I was like 15, I had no idea why the sky would become transiently overcast. I had no idea it was clouds moving over the sunlight.



Until I was 12 I thought it was light taking too long to travel. Because I read in a book it took 8 minutes for light to travel to Earth. So I thought they got a new shipment of light or something and sometimes the light would run out until new light came from the sun about 8 minutes later.


----------



## Kit H. Ruppell (Jul 25, 2014)

When I was little I thought drywall was called "Sheep Rock"


----------



## Feste (Jul 26, 2014)

Lobar said:


> It's a lot of fucking money for just a 30% chance.



Eh, you got to break a few eggs to make an omelets, especially in this day and age where high-skilled labor is king if you're in America or Western Europe. The system is broken, but the truth of the matter is, unless you're an entrepreneur or a savant programmer, its most likely how you're going to rise to the middle class or above in this day and age.


----------



## Phoenix-Kat (Jul 28, 2014)

That sergals were some kind a real life species of animal or at least based on one.


----------



## Thatch (Jul 28, 2014)

Feste said:


> The system is broken



And how. I left my course just after my BSc while my friends stayed for the Masters, and I seem have a better paying job than any of them.

Not that I actually do anything even remotely related with my degree.

Fortunately our education was free (taxes notwithstanding) :V


----------



## Real_Redwolf (Jul 28, 2014)

When I was about 7, my cousin told me that he had a robot servant in his closet that does whatever he says. He also told me that he had shoes that made him go at super speeds.


----------



## Phoenix-Kat (Jul 29, 2014)

Commie Bat said:


> Do you realize how scary that would be.  Your just hiking with some friends and come across one.  Shit would be horrifying.



Kinda like encountering a bear or a mountain lion?


----------



## Abbi Normal (Jul 29, 2014)

Phoenix-Kat said:


> Kinda like encountering a bear or a mountain lion?



If bears and mountain lions were sapient, militaristic, sexually aggressive, and had prehensile genitals, then yes, it would be exactly like that.


----------



## Phoenix-Kat (Jul 29, 2014)

Abbi Normal said:


> If bears and mountain lions were sapient, militaristic, sexually aggressive, and had prehensile genitals, then yes, it would be exactly like that.


Well I assumed sergals would be what is considered "feral". For a while I thought it was some newly discovered species of shark that people just "anthroed up" or just a term for an anthro shark and eventually was getting the idea they were fictional.


----------



## Lucient (Jul 29, 2014)

I actualy believed boot camp was going to be a funny adventure that would only be a little stressful...


----------



## -SHINY- (Jul 29, 2014)

> Females don't poop
> WWE was real
> God created the universe and earth (religion vs science, the debate goes on.)
> Witch doctors can kill someone with their "powers" (religion)


----------



## Phoenix-Kat (Jul 29, 2014)

Lucient said:


> I actualy believed boot camp was going to be a funny adventure that would only be a little stressful...


I used to think it would be some kind of adventure where you played around in the mud.


----------



## Misomie (Jul 29, 2014)

-SHINY- said:


> > Females don't poop



We don't. It gets reabsorbed into the body as a red liquid that resembles blood (but smells ways stronger). Every month we have periods. This is how the poop escapes our bodies.


----------



## Distorted (Jul 29, 2014)

Misomie said:


> We don't. It gets reabsorbed into the body as a red liquid that resembles blood (but smells ways stronger). Every month we have periods. This is how the poop escapes our bodies.


I find the process disturbing enough. Now you just made it even worse. ugh...


----------



## -SHINY- (Jul 29, 2014)

Misomie said:


> We don't. It gets reabsorbed into the body as a red liquid that resembles blood (but smells ways stronger). Every month we have periods. This is how the poop escapes our bodies.



I've heard diarrhea sound effects by a female bathroom, that's where I learned they do poop. I was scarred for few months.


----------



## Real_Redwolf (Jul 29, 2014)

Misomie said:


> We don't. It gets reabsorbed into the body as a red liquid that resembles blood (but smells ways stronger). Every month we have periods. This is how the poop escapes our bodies.



Are you serious or being sarcastic? Because I genuinely don't know what a period is. Because if you are being serious, that sounds very painful.

EDIT: It might be good to also mention that I had a very innocent childhood and still do not know a lot of things like this.


----------



## Saga (Jul 29, 2014)

I used to think that sex was when two people pooped in eachother's mouths. This was when I was 7.
Yeah.

I used to think that I was invincible... maybe I always knew I wasn't, but I did dumb shit when I was younger that I realize now could have killed me. Like, getting your head stuck in an underwater vacuum.


----------



## Machine (Jul 30, 2014)

Real_Redwolf said:


> Are you serious or being sarcastic? Because I genuinely don't know what a period is. Because if you are being serious, that sounds very painful.


It's not true, lol. It is a monthly shedding of blood and menstrual tissue from the lining of the uterus, which can be accompanied by menstrual cramps. They suck.


----------



## GarthTheWereWolf (Jul 30, 2014)

Saga said:


> I used to think that sex was when two people pooped in eachother's mouths. This was when I was 7.
> Yeah.



Well your 7 year old self was pretty close anyway. V: Sex is  pooping back and forth, forever, (sfw) and then 9 months later a baby happens...or something.


----------



## Blackberry Polecat (Jul 30, 2014)

Real_Redwolf said:


> When I was about 7, my cousin told me that he had a robot servant in his closet that does whatever he says. He also told me that he had shoes that made him go at super speeds.


That reminds me of my friend's little brother. He thought I used underground skateboard tunnels to get to school early. XD


----------



## Wylde_Rottie (Jul 30, 2014)

When I was a kid, I'd look out of the airplane window and think the differently-colored and shaped fields down below were the states.  And I'd wonder why flights would take so damn long.  

I thought the Gilligan's Island people were actually stuck on an island, and there was just a crew there filming it all.  And wondered why the hell the film crew didn't just save them.

I didn't know automatic transmissions existed, so whenever I was in an automatic car I wondered why the heck the driver never shifted.

Letting an arm or leg dangle over the side of the bed at night was a surefire invitation for some monster to leap out from under the bed and bite it off.


----------



## sniperfreak223 (Jul 30, 2014)

Phoenix-Kat said:


> That sergals were some kind a real life species of animal or at least based on one.



when I was new to the fandom I always got sergals confused with servals, so don't feel too bad there.


----------



## Nashida (Jul 30, 2014)

When I was a kid I hated toys or things that had faces that weren't supposed to, I was convinced they'd be alive and do something to me while I was asleep. Stuffed animals were fine. Things like Mr. Potato Head? Forget it. I remember my parents had to make sure all the pieces were taken out of the thing before I went to sleep. Even still, that plastic holey carcass was still creepy.

I also didn't understand how women got boobs. I thought women put things in themelves the size they wanted, but they had to be careful because they could break or pop ( this was decades before I knew what implants were). Then lo and behold I got a pair without doing anything.

And I thought I could fly with an umbrella on a windy day like Mary Poppins. I came close once, when I was helping my mom take down a cloth gazebo we had before a huge thunderstorm/near hurricane hit us. She went inside to find the box while I was holding on to the roof of it (it was the last piece left) and a big gust of wind came and BLEW ME ACROSS THE YARD.


----------



## alphakitsune (Jul 30, 2014)

Nashida said:


> When I was a kid I hated toys or things that had faces that weren't supposed to, I was convinced they'd be alive and do something to me while I was asleep. Stuffed animals were fine. Things like Mr. Potato Head? Forget it. I remember my parents had to make sure all the pieces were taken out of the thing before I went to sleep. Even still, that plastic holey carcass was still creepy.



To this day glo worms freak me out. I never had one when I was little, I have just seen pictures of them.

And also, many things about sex. I have never been to a sex ed class so I hardly know anything about it.


----------



## Rhykus Finlay (Jul 31, 2014)

I used to believe I'd never flirt with people I don't really know. Or that my boyfriend (two years ago) Noah and me would be together. *plays world's smallest violin*


----------



## Alexxx-Returns (Jul 31, 2014)

Nashida said:


> And I thought I could fly with an umbrella on a windy day like Mary Poppins. I came close once, when I was helping my mom take down a cloth gazebo we had before a huge thunderstorm/near hurricane hit us. She went inside to find the box while I was holding on to the roof of it (it was the last piece left) and a big gust of wind came and BLEW ME ACROSS THE YARD.



We have all been there.

...Haven't we?


----------



## Echoshock (Jul 31, 2014)

I used to believe heights were scary, how stupid is that?


----------



## Kit411230 (Aug 3, 2014)

I used to think that corn flakes were made by taking corn from the cob & hitting each one with a hammer to flatten it lol


----------



## sniperfreak223 (Aug 3, 2014)

At one point (thanks to BC Rich guitars) I believed that BDSM meant "Broad Dynamic Sonically Matched"


----------



## ch_ris127 (Aug 4, 2014)

I once thought that the word 'sex' in an information sheet literally meant sex instead of gender. No amount of facepalm is going to slap away the embarrassment I had staring at a friend when she asked me to fill out a form. That was 5th grade.


----------



## DrDingo (Aug 4, 2014)

When I was very little, I was scared of people spraying air freshener or deodorant in a room because I thought that if any got in my mouth it would kill me.


----------



## Schwimmwagen (Aug 4, 2014)

DrDingo said:


> When I was very little, I was scared of people spraying air freshener or deodorant in a room because I thought that if any got in my mouth it would kill me.



It doesn't?

Shit, now I should do something about this mushroom smell


----------



## dracokid (Aug 4, 2014)

i used to think that women just naturally got pregnant when they reached a certain age 0_o i also used to think that women only had two holes down there (a pee hole and a poop hole XD) and all women gave birth by a c-section. i dunno.

...keep in mind i am a woman myself! XD

i used to think straw bales were alive...i have no idea why....

also i used to think that my stuffed animal toys had souls and i could talk to them and they would understand me (blame toy story!)


----------



## funky3000 (Aug 4, 2014)

I used to believe my old art was good.

Then I look 4+ years back in my art history and puke.

Probably gonna be the same another 4 years from now.


----------



## dracokid (Aug 4, 2014)

funky3000 said:


> I used to believe my old art was good.
> 
> Then I look 4+ years back in my art history and puke.
> 
> Probably gonna be the same another 4 years from now.


isn't this the same for every artist? xP


----------



## Hakar Kerarmor (Aug 4, 2014)

dracokid said:


> isn't this the same for every artist? xP



Only the good ones.


----------



## dracokid (Aug 4, 2014)

Hakar Kerarmor said:


> Only the good ones.


true...i used to know a girl who used to draw really bad same-faced anime girls. all in the same pose and looking in the same direction. and nothing else. she obviously never improved...she still thought her art was amazing even years later 0_0 fortunately i don't talk to her anymore XD


----------



## Phoenix-Kat (Sep 1, 2014)

That hummingbirds did not have feet.


----------



## Dreaming (Sep 1, 2014)

I used to think that ferrets were a type of bird


----------



## FangWarrior (Sep 1, 2014)

sniperfreak223 said:


> -I used to believe Hell was scary, until I discovered Slayer at age 5.


I also discovered Disturbed at age 4. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_wA5NmQESx8 (Fun fact, at age 5, this was my favorite song. XD)

Still one of my favorite bands to this day.


-Jellybeans actually were little bunny turds.
-Pokemon were real, and that I could be the very best. 
-Cartoon characters can't bleed. 
-Vampire bat are just vampires in disguise.
-Superman was real.


----------



## Phoenix-Kat (Sep 1, 2014)

Dreaming said:


> I used to think that ferrets were a type of bird


Reminds me of this time in kindergarten telling a classmate I had a "ferret". His exact words were, "Cool! You have a bird?"

I also used to think Enya was a band as opposed to an individual singer. But then I also used to think bands like Bon Jovi and Blondie were a single singer.


----------



## Blackberry Polecat (Sep 1, 2014)

Dreaming said:


> I used to think that ferrets were a type of bird



I had a friend who confused "pheasant" with "ferret", so maybe that's it?


----------



## ChaoticX (Sep 1, 2014)

I used to believe if you got really good at martial arts you could shoot fire and energy out of your body like in video games, cartoons and anime.

Also dragons. I learned dragons were not real, or at least the 3 storey ones that breath fire. I was disappointed.


----------



## GarthTheWereWolf (Sep 2, 2014)

That people were inherently good deep down. *HA!* oh to be that naive again. V:


----------



## Fernin (Sep 2, 2014)

When I was a little kid I believed....

That Canada was an American state.
That Klingons were real.
That Christians were right. (Save us Holy Lich!)
That cereal killers killed people by poisoning boxes of cereal.
That graboids were going to eat me if I went outside at night and didn't tiptoe between my mom's house and grandma's. (I lived in the desert just south of Las Vegas and saw Tremors at age 5 or so)


----------



## Saga (Sep 2, 2014)

As of recent, I thought that the claims of mint toothpaste being a good lube were correct.
They are so wrong
So 
fucking
wrong


----------



## Misomie (Sep 2, 2014)

Saga said:


> As of recent, I thought that the claims of mint toothpaste being a good lube were correct.
> They are so wrong
> So
> fucking
> wrong



NO! JUST NO! WHY?!

For future reference, mint toothpaste in small diluted quantities can be used to enhance certain sexual things as it ups sensitivity. But straight up? Euug! Much cringe. If you want to use a good food/edible/natural lube, use 100% organic coconut oil. Make sure participants aren't allergic first.


----------



## Lobar (Sep 2, 2014)

Saga said:


> As of recent, I thought that the claims of mint toothpaste being a good lube were correct.
> They are so wrong
> So
> fucking
> wrong



how in the fuck could you actually believe this


----------



## shteev (Sep 2, 2014)

Misomie said:


> NO! JUST NO! WHY?!
> 
> If you want to use a good food/edible/natural lube, use 100% organic coconut oil. Make sure participants aren't allergic first.



Go kookoo for coconuts? Heh


----------



## Schwimmwagen (Sep 2, 2014)

Saga said:


> As of recent, I thought that the claims of mint toothpaste being a good lube were correct.
> They are so wrong
> So
> fucking
> wrong



I feel your pain, but I figured this out a looong time ago.

Smells great though.


----------



## Batty Krueger (Sep 2, 2014)

Saga said:


> As of recent, I thought that the claims of mint toothpaste being a good lube were correct.
> They are so wrong
> So
> fucking
> wrong


I used purell once with my best friend when we were real young. Yay experimenting,  boo purell,  lol.


----------



## Selachi (Sep 2, 2014)

I saw _Poltergeist _at age 7 and developed an irrational fear of dead trees.


----------



## Gronix (Sep 2, 2014)

I tought that ninjas aren't real. I was wrong...


----------



## ChaoticX (Sep 2, 2014)

Gronix said:


> I tought that ninjas aren't real. I was wrong...



They are always watching.


----------



## lupinealchemist (Sep 2, 2014)

Wishing on stars as well as fear of tvs and monitors that are off in darkness can be portals to hell.


----------



## Fallowfox (Sep 2, 2014)

That Group selection was a viable mechanism.


----------



## Lobar (Sep 2, 2014)

toothpaste is an *abrasive*, pretty much the exact opposite of a lubricant

how could anyone ever think that would be a good idea

how


----------



## Ranguvar (Sep 2, 2014)

Saga said:


> As of recent, I thought that the claims of mint toothpaste being a good lube were correct.
> They are so wrong
> So
> fucking
> wrong





Schwimmwagen said:


> I feel your pain, but I figured this out a looong time ago.
> 
> Smells great though.





Batty Krueger said:


> I used purell once with my best friend when we were real young. Yay experimenting,  boo purell,  lol.



[yt]NRifKEf0xr8[/yt]


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## Hewge (Sep 2, 2014)

You guys thought TOOTHPASTE would make good LUBE?!


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## ChaoticX (Sep 2, 2014)

I've heard weirder stuff in my time on this earth.


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## Hewge (Sep 2, 2014)

ChaoticX said:


> I've heard weirder stuff in my time on this earth.



Who hasn't?


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## Calemeyr (Sep 2, 2014)

When people talked about "slugs" for shotguns, I thought they were talking about the mollusk.


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## Fallowfox (Sep 2, 2014)

Help me; I tried to make a sand-paper condom. :V


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## Cinder42 (Sep 3, 2014)

Geez..... I could fill up a whole page with my childhood idiocy.... lets start small :/ 

When i was little kid I thought that if you poked your belly button, it was a hole into your stomach and you could feel everything you ate if you stuck your finger in it. So I made a terrified effort to never touch my bellybutton EVER for most of my early life.


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## Schwimmwagen (Sep 3, 2014)

Calemeyr said:


> When people talked about "slugs" for shotguns, I thought they were talking about the mollusk.



"Slugs travel at an average of 1,800 feet per second"


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## ZettaBit (Sep 3, 2014)

I used to think that the government keeps tabs on everyone, and now that they do, I couldn't care less.


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## Bloodlos16 (Sep 3, 2014)

I use to think the construction arrow meant that the construction was happening in the sky :\ lasted till i was 8 XD


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## Skeppio (Sep 3, 2014)

I used to think that the smoke/smog clouds coming out of factory chimneys were how clouds were actually made and that it was a cloud factory.


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## Vlad of Hearts (Sep 4, 2014)

When I was around 12 I thought that if I could focus hard enough....I could crawl under my bed and be transported to "girl world". A world where it is inhabited by women who would cover me in kisses. Why? A dream I had the night before. 

Yeah I was depressed it didn't happen


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## funky3000 (Sep 4, 2014)

I had that kind of experience too, I had a dream where there was a world under my covers. I tried irl, didn't work of course.

Which reminds me to reassure you on that note, that I actually tried to Skiddoo into my books before. Quietly, so my mom wouldn't know where I was and what I was doing.


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## Coffee Lion (Sep 4, 2014)

I like this thread. Burst out into hysterics quite a few times reading these~ xD

As for me, I used to think that tornadoes were large, brain-shaped creatures that savagely smashed into buildings, actively targeting humans for dinner. I also believed they could be tamed, and I wanted one as a pet. I also used to believe that babies came out of the woman's anus instead of the vagina, like a living turd, if you will. A long, long time ago, when I told my older sister this, she laughed at me for a good fifteen minutes before telling me the truth.


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## Misomie (Sep 5, 2014)

I used to believe steroids were stilts or something that people wore. Not even kidding. 

Our teacher was talking about them and I had no clue what they were. When talking about testing for steroids I was thinking, "Isn't it freaking obvious if they were wearing these star-stilts?" Makes you better at sports and I thought, "Well I guess you would be taller and run faster...." dehydrates you, "wot?" 

I was really confused during that whole discussion. :/


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## Hakar Kerarmor (Sep 5, 2014)

I used to believe the fedora/neckbeard stereotype was just a stupid meme.


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## MischievousPooka (Sep 6, 2014)

When I was really young, when I first heard the word dinosaur, I thought they were diamond swords.
I also thought my dad was the smartest person around.  He is smart computer wise but everything else... no!


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## Terror-Run (Sep 6, 2014)

I must have had a really boring childhood.... for about 5 minutes when I was in kindergarden (think I was 4?) I thought that the brain could control when someone would fall over, since someone told me the brain sends out signals via the body to all the body parts telling them to move before they did, then after hanging off the couch for a while realized that it was the gravity that controlled that shit. I still tried moving my arms by thinking about it really hard though... 

One really stupid thing I used to think was that thicker books had better stories in them. (my theory was that better stories needed more pages), and then I applied that to anime's and watched One Piece from start to finish in one week (was only about at thriller bark at that time so not that many episodes). I have yet to prove this wrong, but I know it's faulty.


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## Bonobosoph (Sep 6, 2014)

When I was a kid I thought a blowjob was a passionate snog. Cue 10 year old me bragging to my friends that I'd done a blowjob (I made out with my male friend). I was rather bemused by their gasps.


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## Skritchh (Sep 6, 2014)

When I was really small my mom used to play cassette tapes in the car. Once a tape ended, the radio would automatically turn on so naturally I thought the radio was on the tape.


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## GarthTheWereWolf (Sep 6, 2014)

When my siblings and I were young, and my parents were driving us cross country, we would occasionally pass by farms with giant hay bails stacked up and covered with white tarps. My dad would always tell us as we passed them, "Hey look! We're passing a marshmallow farm! That's where they grow the marshmallows. They're big now but they cut them up into little pieces and sell them at the stores."

Naturally us being stupid little kids believed him until we went to public school and were ridiculed for believing that crock of shit V:

Thanks Dad.


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## Fallowfox (Sep 7, 2014)

Your Dad sounds brilliant.


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## Bonobosoph (Sep 7, 2014)

As soon as turned 13 I would be really cool and popular like on girly American kid's shows.


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## Khaki (Sep 7, 2014)

Calemeyr said:


> When people talked about "slugs" for shotguns, I thought they were talking about the mollusk.



Great, now I want to start putting actual slugs into empty shotgun cartridges to see the ballistic capabilities of a mollusk.


Eight year old me used to think the technology for the  "Smart Guns" the space marines used in Alien actually existed, I was disappointed when told otherwise, but give it time, it might just come yet.


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## Pinky (Sep 7, 2014)

I used to think the American national anthem was like O Canada, but with Canada replaced by America.

In fact I didn't even know there were places outside Canada until I was like 8.


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## Blackberry Polecat (Sep 8, 2014)

Pinky said:


> I used to think the American national anthem was like O Canada, but with Canada replaced by America.
> 
> In fact I didn't even know there were places outside Canada until I was like 8.



Does Canada have a North Korean style education system? X3


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## alphakitsune (Sep 8, 2014)

When I was about 11 I used to think that Autism Speaks was run by a group of evil neurotypical nazis trying to eradicate the Autistic master race. I was a pretty effed up kid.


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## Bonobosoph (Sep 8, 2014)

alphakitsune said:


> When I was about 11 I used to think that Autism Speaks was run by a group of evil neurotypical nazis trying to eradicate the Autistic master race. I was a pretty effed up kid.


You mean they're NOT?


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## Ahzek M'kar (Sep 8, 2014)

This thread is 2edgy4me.


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## Misomie (Sep 8, 2014)

Ok, this one is silly. When I was a young kid, I got a balloon one day and I wanted to play with it the next day. However whenever night fell, the balloon would be on the floor the next day. I came up with a hypothesis that if I stuck my balloon under the bed that it'd be up in the morning. I thought that since it falls on the ground at night, that if it was already on the ground that it'd be just fine the next day. So I wake up all excited and feeling that I was such a genius for cheating my balloon's life. I pulled it out from under the bed expecting it to float back up. Noooooooooope. :K


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## Alpha_Wolph (Sep 8, 2014)

Let's see, I used to think god is real, everyone is honest, and I wasn't a furry.
(When I was little of course, except the furry part. I found the truth recently lol)


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