# On roleplaying as the opposite sex.



## KILL.MAIM.KILL (Apr 2, 2018)

Recently noticed a trend I find a little unsettling; where people roleplay the opposite sex in a certain way.

And before you start jumping the gun and tell me that I'm being a mean old killjoy who just hates fun - I am NOT talking about normal roleplayers. I am talking about people who roleplay a persona of the opposite sex - usually exaggerated in stereotypes - consistently or for an extended period of time. And it's the kind of roleplaying that isn't predetermined or planned, it's the kind that people like to do spontaneously. You know, when you and your friends are trying to have a serious conversation, and then someone starts with the whole _asterisk nuzzles you and sits in your lap asterisk _thing right in the group chat.

This doesn't seem like someone simply having a beloved character, it seems like they take on a serious persona which is basically just a sex-swapped version of them.

I've now come across several people across multiple Discord servers who are male in real life, but for some reason, always refer to themselves as male. They make no attempt to hide that they are dudes, and the "female" personas they play aren't anything like normal female characters, they're basically exaggerated feminine caricatures, typical giggly anime girl personalities.

I have seen this happen with female users roleplaying a male persona, but much less so.

Nope, this isn't being transgender, either; because if they were transgender they (probably) wouldn't admit to themselves being male in real life. 
Or more likely, they'd make sure that everyone and their mom knew they were trans - in my experience, that is.

I'm not going to ask why this is a thing, because I'm pretty sure I already know. Autogynephilia, or a "sissy" fetish comes to mind immediately, and most of the guys I've seen doing this were in 18+ servers where NSFW was allowed. Or perhaps it's a weird attempt at getting positive attention from others.

My question is - am I the only one who finds this uncomfortable? No?
Am I seriously the only one who finds it awkward when a twenty, thirty-something year old male is constantly roleplaying as a young anime girl and trying to roleplay with everyone, especially outside of a designated roleplaying group?


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## zenmaldita (Apr 2, 2018)

KILL.MAIM.KILL said:


> Am I seriously the only one who finds it awkward when a twenty, thirty-something year old male is constantly roleplaying as a young anime girl and trying to roleplay with everyone, especially *outside of a designated roleplaying group*


You mean like:
person 1: so I was thinking about which college I should go to...
person 2: what are your options? I heard uni A has a great focus program
person 3: _asterisk nuzzles you and sits in your lap asterisk
???
_
If you put it that way specifically, then yeah that is unsettling and rude lol
I would probably just ignore them and try to keep the convo going or PM the person I was talking with previously.
Perhaps the passiveness is sending false signals that such behavior is ok?


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## KILL.MAIM.KILL (Apr 2, 2018)

zenmaldita said:


> You mean like:
> person 1: so I was thinking about which college I should go to...
> person 2: what are your options? I heard uni A has a great focus program
> person 3: _asterisk nuzzles you and sits in your lap asterisk
> ...



Yeah, exactly that. Seems to be a common thing in furry-friendly Discord servers, and call me a mean old grouch but I don't particularily enjoy it when you can't hold a conversation because the chat is just flooded with _huggles _and _nuzzles _and _noms on sum cookiehs_ constantly.

And these tend to be in 18+ servers full of _adults._


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## Steelite (Apr 2, 2018)

zenmaldita said:


> person 1: so I was thinking about which college I should go to...
> person 2: what are your options? I heard uni A has a great focus program
> person 3: _asterisk nuzzles you and sits in your lap asterisk_


10/10 would nuzzle again lol.
Seriously though, gotta agree with it. Such disrupt in a conversation is pure bullshit.


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## SlyRiolu (Apr 2, 2018)

That's a bit wrong... my way of thinking between genders and the way they act are just because of how they grew up and taught. For example, I have about the same amount of guy friends and the same amount of friend girls they both they nearly have the identical fraction of people using crude humor (which i've been told is common for men). The way I think for genders and there differences is that there isn't any! People are just people. Your, let's just say natural appearance, doesn't affect the way you act just maybe the way you're taught to act. That's why I'm comfortable using female characters.


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## Infrarednexus (Apr 2, 2018)

I've never encountered this scenario before, but I can understand why one would find it uncomfortable. Not to mention the rudeness of changing the subject of an in depth conversation into a roleplay thread.


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## Mosie (Apr 5, 2018)

I've seen some people do this before but not interupting a convo like that. I've even talked to them how I cpuld understand switching up genders since I think it has to do with the roles of being dominant/submissive and they just use gender as like a guide to do that. But yeah, still, pretty wierd but I can pinpoint why that is possible


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## Inkblooded (Apr 5, 2018)

Mosie said:


> I've even talked to them how I cpuld understand switching up genders since I think it has to do with the roles of being dominant/submissive and they just use gender as like a guide to do that.



Wow nothing about what you just said is ok


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## Mosie (Apr 5, 2018)

Eh, I gave my 2 cents in. I'm pretty open minded when exploring the mindsets of others


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## Inkblooded (Apr 5, 2018)

there's nothing "open minded" about blatant sexism
hell the implications werent even sexism, the implications were _male supremacy._


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## Blue_Jay (Apr 5, 2018)

I've never heard of anything like a "sissy" fetish before. I also don't recall having experienced specifically what you described. So I can't say that I understand where you're coming from.

But to be honest I don't see how it's different from how people normally RP. I've known women IRL to portray gay men as... well, stereotypical gay men. And I've know gay men to portray gay men exactly the same way. I don't see how it's any different from if I were to depict an adult male as being hyper masculine (I'm a man IRL and I've done that before). 

But it's a different thing if you are saying that ALL instances of gender-based stereotypes make you uncomfortable.


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## CindyPig (Apr 5, 2018)

Nobody is what anybody else thinks they are anyway. Genitalia is just another hood ornament.


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## Mosie (Apr 5, 2018)

pimp my riiiiide


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## CindyPig (Apr 6, 2018)

Mosie said:


> pimp my riiiiide


and ride that pimp into the sunset.


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## KILL.MAIM.KILL (Apr 6, 2018)

Mosie said:


> I've seen some people do this before but not interupting a convo like that. I've even talked to them how I cpuld understand switching up genders since I think it has to do with the roles of being dominant/submissive and they just use gender as like a guide to do that. But yeah, still, pretty wierd but I can pinpoint why that is possible



That is probably why they do it. Hence why I mentioned the sissy fetish thing.
It's revolting.



CindyPig said:


> Nobody is what anybody else thinks they are anyway. Genitalia is just another hood ornament.



1. Irrelevant, thanks.
2. Way to sound like a socially awkward shut-in who lives on Tumblr/Wordpress.
3. What the hell are you even trying to say? What does any of that even mean?

Ugh, forget it. Don't bother. You'll just add even more confusing word salad.


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## metafang (Apr 6, 2018)

CindyPig said:


> Nobody is what anybody else thinks they are anyway. Genitalia is just another hood ornament.


the best has been said


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## CindyPig (Apr 6, 2018)

KILL.MAIM.KILL said:


> That is probably why they do it. Hence why I mentioned the sissy fetish thing.
> It's revolting.
> 
> 
> ...


You seem to think your'e relevant, thats quite irreverent .


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## KILL.MAIM.KILL (Apr 6, 2018)

CindyPig said:


> You seem to think your'e relevant, thats quite irreverent .



Ooh shit, that burn was so severe, it actually _canceled out_ the burn scar on my arm.
My skin is now baby-smooth. 
Pristine. Flawless. Unmarred. 

That was sarcasm, in case it wasn't obvious through text.


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## Mario16 (Apr 6, 2018)

Do we really have to decent into so-called gender-study politics?

The topic of the thread has nothing do with that so why not keep that out and talk about it like adults? Or is that to much to ask ...?


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## KILL.MAIM.KILL (Apr 6, 2018)

Mario16 said:


> Do we really have to decent into so-called gender-study politics?
> 
> The topic of the thread has nothing do with that so why not keep that out and talk about it like adults? Or is that to much to ask ...?



It does appear to be too much to ask.
Seems about half of all internet discussions degenerate into gender identity fights one way or another.
I'm getting pretty sick of it.


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## Mario16 (Apr 6, 2018)

KILL.MAIM.KILL said:


> It does appear to be too much to ask.
> Seems about half of all internet discussions degenerate into gender identity fights one way or another.
> I'm getting pretty sick of it.



I can see why, and cannot stand it myself by this point. Its just boring and quite ludicrous at this point.

But on the topic:

I have seen guys playing femals in non-sexual games quite casually. Of course there was some clichè involved in the pen & paper group where the big bearded fellow plays a female mage and complains about his robe getting dirty in the mud, but that was more about being funny than actually being a pain in the ass. In sexual context I am unsure about why a guy would want to play a girl, but, as someone stated, I guess the common conception for straight guys would be that females submit commonly during sex and they want to explore that. 
Having someone interrupt a normal conversation by throwing them sexually while that one is talking a normal conversation with someone ... yeah, that extremely weird.


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## Sergei Sóhomo (Apr 6, 2018)

KILL.MAIM.KILL said:


> Recently noticed a trend I find a little unsettling; where people roleplay the opposite sex in a certain way.
> 
> And before you start jumping the gun and tell me that I'm being a mean old killjoy who just hates fun - I am NOT talking about normal roleplayers. I am talking about people who roleplay a persona of the opposite sex - usually exaggerated in stereotypes - consistently or for an extended period of time. And it's the kind of roleplaying that isn't predetermined or planned, it's the kind that people like to do spontaneously. You know, when you and your friends are trying to have a serious conversation, and then someone starts with the whole _asterisk nuzzles you and sits in your lap asterisk _thing right in the group chat.
> 
> ...



I mean if you wanna do a character then do a character if it follows what they are as you made it

But like shit man you can't be doing that all the damn time. You gotta talk to people like a person


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## CindyPig (Apr 6, 2018)

KILL.MAIM.KILL said:


> Ooh shit, that burn was so severe, it actually _canceled out_ the burn scar on my arm.
> My skin is now baby-smooth.
> Pristine. Flawless. Unmarred.
> 
> That was sarcasm, in case it wasn't obvious through text.


Baby smooth, another dose of sarcastic gas , or merely a chameleon regression. The irrelevance has become a conundrum of pristine flaws.


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## KILL.MAIM.KILL (Apr 6, 2018)

CindyPig said:


> Baby smooth, another dose of sarcastic gas , or merely a chameleon regression. The irrelevance has become a conundrum of pristine flaws.



My turtle shits out glass marbles and they roll into the mouth of socialism, where giraffe men make out to the tune of Ave Maria.
Being random was never funny.


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## CindyPig (Apr 7, 2018)

KILL.MAIM.KILL said:


> My turtle shits out glass marbles and they roll into the mouth of socialism, where giraffe men make out to the tune of Ave Maria.
> Being random was never funny.


Every 5th word of the Bible read out loud by someone like you is a riot.


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## KILL.MAIM.KILL (Apr 7, 2018)

CindyPig said:


> Every 5th word of the Bible read out loud by someone like you is a riot.



I've never read the Bible.
There'd be no point. I've committed acts of wrath, envy, and homosexuality, I'm going to hell and there's no changing that.


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## metafang (Apr 7, 2018)

since consciousness began i knew i'm not a boy or a girl. i also knew my ethnicity. my expressions of what life is like for me cant be called gender studies , or politics. 
it's my guts, pubic hair, eye color, spirituality, name, everything. me, i, my existence is mind-blowing, if your mind is trapped in a tiny white cis fantasy box.
not everyone grew up like you or believes what you believe! the world is a magnificently diverse place. but our brains love to rush to the defense of what can only be changed with confrontation, discomfort and reckoning... because confrontation, discomfort and reckoning are really hard. so is feeling insignificant, if you happen to come from a culture that teaches the Individual and His Bank Account are the most important thing. but the world isn't all like that


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## KILL.MAIM.KILL (Apr 7, 2018)

metafang said:


> since consciousness began i knew i'm not a boy or a girl. i also knew my ethnicity. my expressions of what life is like for me cant be called gender studies , or politics.
> it's my guts, pubic hair, eye color, spirituality, name, everything. me, i, my existence is mind-blowing, if your mind is trapped in a tiny white cis fantasy box.
> not everyone grew up like you or believes what you believe! the world is a magnificently diverse place. but our brains love to rush to the defense of what can only be changed with confrontation, discomfort and reckoning... because confrontation, discomfort and reckoning are really hard. so is feeling insignificant, if you happen to come from a culture that teaches the Individual and His Bank Account are the most important thing. but the world isn't all like that



Unfunny parody account or actually, stupidly serious? I can't tell anymore.
Anyway. Just in case you ARE serious - check the title. I said opposite SEX, not GENDER. This isn't about transgender people - as I mentioned - this is about guys, who admit they're guys - who pretend to be female through weird, fetish-y roleplay characters all or most of the time.

So, kindly leave your gender identity BS out of this thread. We don't need to have a gender discussion on _every single FAF thread. _It's getting damn old.


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## metafang (Apr 7, 2018)

KILL.MAIM.KILL said:


> Unfunny parody account or actually, stupidly serious? I can't tell anymore.
> Anyway. Just in case you ARE serious - check the title. I said opposite SEX, not GENDER. This isn't about transgender people - as I mentioned - this is about guys, who admit they're guys - who pretend to be female through weird, fetish-y roleplay characters all or most of the time.
> 
> So, kindly leave your gender identity BS out of this thread. We don't need to have a gender discussion on _every single FAF thread. _It's getting damn old.



Every discussion that is about gender is a gender identity discussion, sorry you're old.

Cis men having female characters can absolutely be a closeted trans thing! Gender identity doesn't stay the same across someone's life span. Even if you're a cis woman your whole life, what kind of woman you are changes, your idea of what women can be changes. 

Its creepy to me when i get a sense that people fetishize body parts, characteristics or other aspects about actual people, beca
use those fetishizing behaviors come from rape culture existing, they come from orientalism existing. Do those men you are describing objectify women and girls in their actual life? probably. But- I will say that those men, are no different than other men who objectify women, they just have their special nasty online way of doing it.

Do those men you are describing maybe also have personal feelings of being a girl sometimes? I wonder. 

That gender talk is so shut down so constantly means that most people can't tell the difference between a trans person and a sexual predator. hopefully people start talking more, so that predatory behavior and perspectives on other ppl based in rape culture can be seen for what it is and not avoided for being taboo, because the thing that protects predators the most is silence 

but we live in a culture where you dont have to go online to find it. it existed before online spaces did


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## KILL.MAIM.KILL (Apr 7, 2018)

metafang said:


> Every discussion that is about gender is a gender identity discussion, sorry you're old.
> 
> Cis men having female characters can absolutely be a closeted trans thing! Gender identity doesn't stay the same across someone's life span. Even if you're a cis woman your whole life, what kind of woman you are changes, your idea of what women can be changes.
> 
> ...



But this isn't a gender discussion. This is a SEX discussion. Read the title.
Ugh, you're so obviously a satire account. Not even a good one.

I don't give a rat's ass if it's a "closeted trans thing." That doesn't make it less creepy. 
In fact, it may make it more so, in my opinion.

This is about not knowing when to stop roleplaying, and not knowing how to portray women in a realistic, respectful manner.


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## Sergei Sóhomo (Apr 7, 2018)

metafang said:


> Every discussion that is about gender is a gender identity discussion, sorry you're old.
> 
> Cis men having female characters can absolutely be a closeted trans thing! Gender identity doesn't stay the same across someone's life span. Even if you're a cis woman your whole life, what kind of woman you are changes, your idea of what women can be changes.
> 
> ...


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## metafang (Apr 7, 2018)

KILL.MAIM.KILL said:


> But this isn't a gender discussion. This is a SEX discussion. Read the title.
> Ugh, you're so obviously a satire account. Not even a good one.
> 
> I don't give a rat's ass if it's a "closeted trans thing." That doesn't make it less creepy.
> ...



lol. bad art is bad art - and rape culture art is rape culture art. as far as i can tell, we are both uncomfortable with the same thing. im japanese american so i have a lot of personal disgust when i see people drawing sexualized chibis that look like they are japanese kids, for example. gross

and someone being mentally ill doesnt excuse their creepiness especially if it spills over into behaviors that affect other people, such as creating sex toy characters.
but when you think about the history of gender in the US at least, when colonizers arrived they started imposing what "man" means and what "woman" means. 

what is seen as realistic and respectful has everything to do with gender !

since you put on hate glasses and think im some kinda bot or troll i will leave it there, and make some more animations.

when are you going to stop role playing?


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## KILL.MAIM.KILL (Apr 7, 2018)

metafang said:


> lol. bad art is bad art - and rape culture art is rape culture art. as far as i can tell, we are both uncomfortable with the same thing. im japanese american so i have a lot of personal disgust when i see people drawing sexualized chibis that look like they are japanese kids, for example. gross
> 
> and someone being mentally ill doesnt excuse their creepiness especially if it spills over into behaviors that affect other people, such as creating sex toy characters.
> but when you think about the history of gender in the US at least, when colonizers arrived they started imposing what "man" means and what "woman" means.
> ...



You don't seem to know that "rape culture" has a meaning, it's not just something you can just apply to everything you don't like.
No, creepy roleplaying isn't rape culture. Not unless they're incorporating rape fantasies into the roleplay.
But mostly it's just a sissification fetish.

Cool and I'm East European, our nationalities are relevant how?

Gender is unrealistic and disrespectful. Always has been. Always will.
Okay cool you have fun with that.
Go be weirdly incoherent on someone else's thread I guess.


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