# Some are just meant to be alone, but that’s okay



## Kope (Nov 22, 2021)

Statistically not everyone will find lasting love or friendship. This is not to say that you shouldn’t try or anything, but that if after years of trying and failing it’s better to accept you maybe alone forever until you die. 

Find peace in that and keep trying to find happiness wherever it finds you.

(Ravings of a loopy furry at 1 am so forgive me)


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## TyraWadman (Nov 22, 2021)

I think it's always important to reflect on why that might be. 
Some people might be unlucky and lose life before they can achieve it.
Others might just be too stubborn to change their ways or do things differently, but expect different results.


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## Kope (Nov 22, 2021)

TyraWadman said:


> I think it's always important to reflect on why that might be.
> Some people might be unlucky and lose life before they can achieve it.
> Others might just be too stubborn to change their ways or do things differently, but expect different results.


Yeah


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## Erix (Nov 22, 2021)

Kope said:


> Statistically not everyone will find lasting love or friendship. This is not to say that you shouldn’t try or anything, but that if after years of trying and failing it’s better to accept you maybe alone forever until you die.
> 
> Find peace in that and keep trying to find happiness wherever it finds you.
> 
> (Ravings of a loopy furry at 1 am so forgive me)


Don’t worry bro, you can join the club.

Single bros forever am I right? xp


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## Mambi (Nov 22, 2021)

TyraWadman said:


> I think it's always important to reflect on why that might be.
> Some people might be unlucky and lose life before they can achieve it.
> Others might just be too stubborn to change their ways or do things differently, but expect different results.



I agree, so many times I hear "I've tried everything and nobody will give me a chance!" or "Everyone I ever go out with ends up leaving me!" and after listening for a bit you realize that they other people might have had the right idea. Any story about an incel will show this pretty quick, but there are lesser examples as well. 

Self-reflection is key, and always ask yourself "Am I the kind of person *I'd* want to be with?" True you just might have bad luck, or happen to live in an area where most people are not for you (smal town's might only have 3 decent mates and if they met others already then that's that!), but more often than not it's the old "doing the same thing and expecting different results" axiom.


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## Stray Cat Terry (Nov 23, 2021)

I can feel what's in your words, OP, and I agree to that too, almost.

However..
I'm not the one to judge but hey, we never know if we really saw everything and did everything. From time to time, while it may not occur too frequently, there're a few moments that let you discover something new, the clues that you've got one more path that you haven't noticed before.

If your past experiences were mostly pointing at certain direction, that's how a person's experiences turn them stubborn. And sometimes, you have to change yourself from the very bottom--what you've been stabilizing for eternity--in order to make a drastic change.

But after all, when you're encumbered by all odds from your life, it could be the time to take a break and look around. To use a catto-way metaphor: Lick your wounds, rest in your den, you'll find something.

Often times, the clues to solution (of basically anything about yourself) are there close nearby. They're just awaiting for you to notice UwU


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## Kope (Nov 23, 2021)

Stray Cat Terry said:


> I can feel what's in your words, OP, and I agree to that too, almost.
> 
> However..
> I'm not the one to judge but hey, we never know if we really saw everything and did everything. From time to time, while it may not occur too frequently, there're a few moments that let you discover something new, the clues that you've got one more path that you haven't noticed before.
> ...


I must be very non observant then lol


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## Ramjet (Nov 24, 2021)

TyraWadman said:


> I think it's always important to reflect on why that might be.
> Some people might be unlucky and lose life before they can achieve it.
> Others might just be too stubborn to change their ways or do things differently, but expect different results.



Some just prefer the solitude.


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## SunflowerSheep (Nov 24, 2021)

Hermits are typically triggered by people and avoid them for mental health reasons. I'm treating my mental health, I have high hopes of finding long term friends in the future.


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## Raever (Nov 24, 2021)

Something I've learned over the years being an antisocial agoraphobic fruit basket _(not lying here,)_ is...generally speaking, you attract what you put out there. No amount of whining will get you positive results, you'll likely just be told to stop whining. Not to be harsh about it but, that is usually the response people will get in that scenario. My biggest and most successful breakthrough was stepping away from the wallflower crowd and just jumping in no matter what. 

Chances are, you'll find your crowd so long as you aren't desperate and have a generally good sense of humor. It's not a matter of winners and losers, or "some people are just popular", that's just self-loathing and limitation spawned from poor experiences or a lack of energy to really bother socializing in the first place. If you lack the energy, figure out a way to fix yourself enough to bother having actual conversations with people first - then look for meaningful friendships after.


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## Yakamaru (Nov 24, 2021)

Negativity won't really get people anywhere other than affecting them, you guessed it, negatively. You do not need to carry it in your heart as it will not just affect you but also those around you. Learn to enjoy life and just.. take your time.


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## Parabellum3 (Nov 25, 2021)

Fact: Being lonely can decrease life expectancy by 15 years.


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## pilgrimfromoblivion (Nov 25, 2021)




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## Pomorek (Nov 26, 2021)

Kope said:


> Find peace in that and keep trying to find happiness wherever it finds you.


Also: *whenever* it finds you. 

I know all too well how it feels, I've been going like that until I hit 30. By that time I was practically resigned to a lifetime of solitude... And what actually happened is that I found a girl with whom we're both lovers and _best frens forever_ rolled into one! So if there's one thing experience taught me, it's to never say never. As much as unforeseen accidents can happen, so can happy surprises that change everything in an instant.


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## Jackpot Raccuki (Nov 26, 2021)

There was an old saying that was used when learning to play Touhou which was to "Take it easy", and whiles it certainly helped at times to play bullet hell games I also used it for real life to just take it easy, despite the on coming mess of things, I just take it easy and dodge my way through.

It's mostly about letting things come to you, but also never letting an opportunity go and risk getting a game over so to speak.
I'm not rushing things since that often ruins things and have met plenty of nice people whiles taking it easy and have had less stress.
Just stay positive, you'll find people enjoy some positive vibes over constant negative ones.



Parabellum3 said:


> Fact: Being lonely can decrease life expectancy by 15 years.


Me realising I have only few months left to live because of this:


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## Xitheon (Nov 26, 2021)




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## pilgrimfromoblivion (Nov 26, 2021)

Xitheon said:


>


hold on to that feeling


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## Ennui Elemental (Nov 26, 2021)

Five Stages of Grief by Elisabeth Kubler Ross & David Kessler
					

Five Stages of Grief - by Elisabeth Kubler Ross & David Kessler explained in their classic work, On Grief and Grieving




					grief.com


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## pilgrimfromoblivion (Nov 26, 2021)

Ennui Elemental said:


> Five Stages of Grief by Elisabeth Kubler Ross & David Kessler
> 
> 
> Five Stages of Grief - by Elisabeth Kubler Ross & David Kessler explained in their classic work, On Grief and Grieving
> ...


Denial- "Lmao, everyone's lonely, it's the pandemic."
Anger- "God, I hate being alone, I hate this pandemic, I hate people in general."
Bargaining-" What I would do to end all this craziness...."
Depression- "This is never going to end."
Acceptance- " This isn't ending anytime soon. I'm gonna go play Pokemon, lmao."


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