# Difficulties?



## SebastianMichaelis (Apr 14, 2009)

Hullo there. I'm a non-furry and was a little curious about the fandom so I decided to finally make a thread. I was wondering, what are the specific difficulties associated with furries? What did you find hardest about being furry? Self acceptance? Family acceptance? Anything else? Do you attribute other life-difficulties to being furry?
  I'm just curious, at the end of the day and anyone who finds my questions too personal need not answer.


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## Gavrill (Apr 14, 2009)

What I find most difficult is learning how to deal with insults because they always happen. You have to learn to play along sometimes.


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## Elessara (Apr 14, 2009)

I find it most difficult to find the decent, well-drawn art buried deep within the umpteen piles of stick figure smut pr0n.

~Damn the pr0n... >=(... you can't effectively browse FA without seeing more than your fair share of tits and dog penis...


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## Kuzzy (Apr 14, 2009)

I sure do have some trouble with it.
The main problem has been that I've had trouble revealing my artistic side to my friends and family. Since I've always drawn anthropomorhpic animals there's been somewhat of a tabu for me showing it to family. Being a guy enrolled in a quite prestigous career drawing cute, furry art never really seemed appropriate.

Thus I spent a great many years "in the closet". It always was tiring not to be able to draw when the urge came upon oneself; only to find oneself restrained by the fact that friends or family was around. But I decided to show my family some of my art just a couple of months ago, and it's been great ever since.

I don't think I'll ever show my art to colleagues. I haven't been physically participating in the community much though (Cons, visits, suiting) so I can't speak on that behalf.


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## Bellini Tabloid (Apr 14, 2009)

Keeping this whole life hidden from my family, but it's really no that hard. I think it's more difficult for lifestylers, and fursuiters to be accepted other that an average fur like myself.


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## Chronic (Apr 14, 2009)

I can't enjoy my donuts in peace. People keep asking about the tail.


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## LizardKing (Apr 14, 2009)

Finding something suitable to fap to.


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## PeachesWolfiez (Apr 14, 2009)

I find it most difficult to have the money to go visit my "furry" friends that live EVERYWHERE. It's always nice to know, though, wherever I am, there's always a good friend nearby. 

I don't necessarily find furry life difficult. I use it to my advantage.


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## Ozriel (Apr 14, 2009)

I find it diffuclt to control my RAEG when another childhood memory of mine's raped by the fandom.


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## Elessara (Apr 14, 2009)

Zeke Shadowfyre said:


> I find it diffuclt to control my RAEG when another childhood memory of mine's raped by the fandom.


 
^ This too...


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## Ozriel (Apr 14, 2009)

Elessara said:


> ^ This too...



The fandom has hyperaged me 5 years.
Sad...


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## Trpdwarf (Apr 14, 2009)

The most difficult part of being a furry is dealing with the newbies/ other furries. Be one long enough and you'll understand.


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## Kuzzy (Apr 14, 2009)

Trpdwarf said:


> The most difficult part of being a furry is dealing with the newbies/ other furries. Be one long enough and you'll understand.


 
Now to this; I can relate. That is a good point, although probably not what the original poster had in mind.


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## Arcadium (Apr 14, 2009)

Zeke Shadowfyre said:


> I find it diffuclt to control my RAEG when another childhood memory of mine's raped by the fandom.



Sonic Yaoi...

Makes me want to cry man.

I also hate the fact that i tend to want to keep it a secret. Not that I'm not proud or whatevs, but i don't advertise it. I don't mind it on the web, the ridicule, but i don't like it when people who will look at me IRL, and say something of sorts. It makes me want to avoid society a bit.


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## Arcadium (Apr 14, 2009)

Oh, and also,

I keep this secret to my dad. Let's just say he won't be to happy to see his son in a fox fursuit parading at cons and searching of the Yiffy pr0nz.

Hence, he won't know too much about it.


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## Trpdwarf (Apr 14, 2009)

Kuzzy said:


> Now to this; I can relate. That is a good point, although probably not what the original poster had in mind.



Glad to see someone gets it. Yeah it is probably not what the poster had in mind.

It's my only difficulty. I can deal with the stigma, and deal with the trolls but the people, some of the things they do, and say really irritates me. That's the thing though furries are people, and you run into those kinds of problems with people. It gets worse when you get into interests and fetish's. You dare say you don't like the fat fetish and suddenly people accuse you of hating fat people and troll you for it. You say "lawl" in some random conversation in a fur guild on WoW and some babyfurs bawws and starts pathologically lying to get his way because he does not like the word/slang. Babyfur comes (prior to that) and baws about no one wanting to be with him and then has to be explained to that most people don't enjoy the company of adults who act like children 24-7. You try to post positive criticism about the fandom and you get jumped on all sides and labeled a heratic(best word I can think of off the top my head). I could go on....it gets irritating after a while but then again furries are only people.

Yeah, the furries/people in the fandom are the main difficulty I have being a fur.


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## Ratte (Apr 14, 2009)

Keeping my dad out of it...I think he would disown me...plus the whole "I don't know my sexuality but I know it's not hetero" thing...
I don't know if I can even show my art to him.  I really don't want to know how he would react.

Also, porn.  It's not something I need (or want) to see.

Seeing what used to be my favorite Disney (etc) characters as a kid being turned into the latest roadside fuck at Yiffstar doesn't help either.


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## GuRoo (Apr 14, 2009)

Elessara said:


> I find it most difficult to find the decent, well-drawn art buried deep within the umpteen piles of stick figure smut pr0n.
> 
> ~Damn the pr0n... >=(... you can't effectively browse FA without seeing more than your fair share of tits and dog penis...


This...oh, and the childhood raping thing, too. You just don't need to see certain things...you just don't...

edit: Also, I'd say making art that you can't really show to everyone because they wouldn't understand.  Even the thought of their reaction makes me feel awkward.

off topic: 
Oh, and whats wrong with newbies? I guess I don't know because I'm new here, but I don't find myself to be unbearable...or maybe I'm one of those exceptions...hmm.


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## Icky (Apr 14, 2009)

GuRoo said:


> This...oh, and the childhood raping thing, too. You just don't need to see certain things...you just don't...
> 
> off topic:
> Oh, and whats wrong with newbies? I guess I don't know because I'm new here, but I don't find myself to be unbearable...or maybe I'm one of those exceptions...hmm.


You're too new here to be annoying, Im sure that you and most other people that are as new as you are still feeling kind of shy or hesitant. Its the people who are still new and inexperienced, but have overcome their fear and post stupidly, its THOSE people who can be annoying.


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## Nignio (Apr 14, 2009)

I don't know what could be the difficulties but if you are interested just experience it! Don't be afraid to try new things in life.


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## Toaster (Apr 14, 2009)

The fact that I'm not furry enough to be in the furry club. :/


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## Attaman (Apr 14, 2009)

My guess is people dealing with the worse members of the fandom.  Every group has them, and Furries are stuck with some of the worst outliers ever.  


Zeke Shadowfyre said:


> The fandom has hyperaged me 5 years.
> Sad...


Too much rage?


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## GuRoo (Apr 14, 2009)

Icarus615 said:


> You're too new here to be annoying, Im sure that you and most other people that are as new as you are still feeling kind of shy or hesitant. Its the people who are still new and inexperienced, but have overcome their fear and post stupidly, its THOSE people who can be annoying.


Well, honestly, I'm not new to the whole "forums" thing. 
And never before have I posted anything trollish or stupid, though sometimes sarcastic/witty remarks I feel are necessary. 
So you won't really have to worry about me.


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## BrothBone (Apr 14, 2009)

For me I can relate what most have said here.

Mostly difficult for me was to decide whether or not to join and Whether to open up or keep to myself.


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## Ceuper (Apr 14, 2009)

Relationships.  It's a little awkward when your girlfriend knows you're into gay furry smut. It tends to cause some arguing. And fights. And screaming, and crying... 

The best part is that the arguing isn't because of coming home from work late, or looking at a girl's tits; it's from popping a boner over the latest Adam Wan piece. Then you're like, damn, am I gay or what? More arguing ensues. Gay furry porn is sent to your parents. Therapy ensues. Large amounts of shame and wishes to end ones life ensue. 

I mean I think the rest can be left to the imagination. 

P.S. - This was not supposed to be an account of what I've specifically gone through, just based on a true story...


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## HoneyPup (Apr 14, 2009)

maybe I'm too new, but I haven't had any difficulties.


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## Ozriel (Apr 14, 2009)

Attaman said:


> My guess is people dealing with the worse members of the fandom.  Every group has them, and Furries are stuck with some of the worst outliers ever.
> Too much rage?



RAEG among other things.


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## Kuro-chan (Apr 14, 2009)

@OP: Your username ;3; <3

Aside from what a couple of other people have mentioned (childhood memories being gangraped), I haven't really encountered anything. I'm not too deep into this fandom.


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## ilobmirt (Apr 14, 2009)

My parents supposedly accept the fact that I am a furry. They do not take kindly to the furry lifestyle. It doesn't make my life difficult that much as it is somewhat of a hobby for my daily life.

#1 on my list would be the fact that all the members of that fandom whom appreciate me as myself and are not in any sort of drama are at least 100 miles away from me so it seems =>_>= (so far there may be exceptions but in large the rule stands)


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## Rifter (Apr 15, 2009)

Not yiffing.

No, seriously though. It's no trouble at all for me, I don't talk about it and it's not exactly evident in my day to day life. Truth is, I don't really care who knows and who doesn't anyway. Aside from my employers, that could be awkward.


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## Diego117 (Apr 15, 2009)

Difficulties? I don't really have any. I love showing people my art. My parents know what I draw. They don't know about the fandom but I'm not keeping it in the closet. Hell, I even told my mom I wanted to make a fursuit of my fursona (not exactly in those words but still). 

The only problem I have is the the consistent raping of my childhood. Spyro the Dragon was a big part of my childhood and what do I find? Rule 34 of Spyro and whatever the female dragon's name is in the new one. Not to mention the Disney yiffy smut going around.


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## elenawing (Apr 15, 2009)

Main problem is trying to convince people that im not sexually attracted to anthros.

they hear I'm a furry and go "omg you're a sick pervert!"

Luckily my close friends understand that i simply love to draw and be part of such a friendly community, hell even my non-furry boyfriend understands, though he does cut it fine when i get all cutesey over animals and says "you like that animal TOO much" but then he doesn't get any and turns into a sad little pupy >w<

I'm not bothering to tell my family about it. My parents know i draw comissions for people, and they just think "oh what a nice hobby!" . I'm not gonna shove into their faces the horrible side of this fandom :/

Closest it got was me and my mum:

me: i just love foxes, they're so beautiful and there's something about them!
mum: oh is that why you like drawing them so much?
me:  uhm yeah!
mum: thats nice ^-^

...i think my mum is psycic X_X


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## Attaman (Apr 15, 2009)

ilobmirt said:


> #1 on my list would be the fact that *all the members of that fandom* whom appreciate me as myself and* are not in any sort of drama* are at least 100 miles away from me so it seems =>_>= (so far there may be exceptions but in large the rule stands)


I think this in itself is a big exception to what you said.  Drama sticks to this fandom (not even needing to be about the fandom:  Just drama in general) like glue.


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## ilobmirt (Apr 15, 2009)

*Attaman -* Why of course. Drama has to be like our #1 export in this community. (Besides tasteless smut =>_>=) I know that drama is not a sole furry quality, but boy is it ever so... prominent.

It would be much easier to live within the fandom if its inhabitants were a lil less socially retarded, had an ounce of common sense, and actually use their brain. >:/

~~~ * ~~~

I suppose the drama is everywhere. But in my case, I'm the "lucky dog" whom can't seem to make social contact with any other fur in a 100 mile radius cause of what's said above. =X_X=


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## Werevixen (Apr 15, 2009)

I'm not a dramafur because I don't own a LiveJournal account. :v


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## SnickersTheCat (Apr 15, 2009)

The biggest difficulty is totally weirding out society on accident :|.


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## Ozriel (Apr 15, 2009)

Diego117 said:


> Difficulties? I don't really have any. I love showing people my art. My parents know what I draw. They don't know about the fandom but I'm not keeping it in the closet. Hell, I even told my mom I wanted to make a fursuit of my fursona (not exactly in those words but still).
> 
> The only problem I have is the the consistent raping of my childhood. Spyro the Dragon was a big part of my childhood and what do I find? Rule 34 of Spyro and whatever the female dragon's name is in the new one. Not to mention the Disney yiffy smut going around.



Cynder.
I am the same way.


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## Trpdwarf (Apr 15, 2009)

Diego117 said:


> Difficulties? I don't really have any. I love showing people my art. My parents know what I draw. They don't know about the fandom but I'm not keeping it in the closet. Hell, I even told my mom I wanted to make a fursuit of my fursona (not exactly in those words but still).
> 
> The only problem I have is the the consistent raping of my childhood. Spyro the Dragon was a big part of my childhood and what do I find? Rule 34 of Spyro and whatever the female dragon's name is in the new one. Not to mention the Disney yiffy smut going around.



I completely sympathize with and share your sentiments dealing with the second part of your post.


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## cheeriocheetah (Apr 15, 2009)

I'm fairly new, but have been running into trouble involving my interest in drawing animals with human characteristics, thoughts, lives, forms, etc. since childhood! People thought it very juvenile to draw talking animals and such rather than humans, though I do draw portraits of people. It probably didn't help that whenever I did a self portrait I added some critter-type feature.

But now that I've found a community that accepts me simply because of that, I've found even further obstacles! As it has been said, conflict between furries happens just as much as with the rest of the world's population. And some severe bashing can come from it, especially when one is debating about something intimately furry related. Also, the negative associations mentioned previously are also a bother. I don't want my family to be any more disturbed by my artistic and symbolic interests than they already are.

And there's also the fact that I know of no other furries in my area whatsoever and have never met another in person, which makes me feel somewhat distanced.  For all I know, this is just an elaborate "Truman Show" that I haven't caught on to.


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## Diego117 (Apr 16, 2009)

Trpdwarf said:


> I completely sympathize with and share your sentiments dealing with the second part of your post.



I know right? -.-


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## El Furicuazo (Apr 16, 2009)

My biggest issue so far within the furry fandom is actually NOT finding furries to befriend IRL.  So far, I'm the only furry I know in person, & I'm already thinking on ways to 'advertise' it (more like getting the fandom better known around my country) where I live.  Everything else is fine or easy enough to manage.


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## FoxxMeat (Apr 17, 2009)

Well Me It Isint The Insults They Really Dont Effect Me....
I Really Havent Told Anybody About How I Like Furrys....i Keep Alot To My Self
Ive Told my friend About Furrys once and now he is no longer my friend.....
Im Still Looking For A FurFriend Irl....


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## Nakhi (Apr 17, 2009)

There are no difficulties. 
I have read things about childhoods being ruined. I hate my childhood. I am not saying I like it because I despise that stuff.
Keeping it within a small group of people is easy for me.
Insults are funny most of the time, but they tend to be true.
I would like to meet furs IRL, but that is not major for me.


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## Shindo (Apr 17, 2009)

my childhood was ruined by parents


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## Nakhi (Apr 17, 2009)

Shindo said:


> my childhood was ruined by parents


For me, pretty much the same.


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## Nakhi (Apr 17, 2009)

Here is a funny thought, the original poster did not post again since the first. Must have been scared off by the porn part. See what happens when we bring that up? We scare people away. Now we know why everyone hates us. XD

Edit: Going off topic there. Ignore this


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## Shindo (Apr 17, 2009)

wow, we really went off topic

the hardest thing about being a furry is that maybe 5% of the non furry world accepts us


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## OssumPawesome (Apr 17, 2009)

The hardest part about being a furry is dealing with the rest of the fandom.


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## Mojotaian (Apr 17, 2009)

Yeah, not being accepted is the biggest "what if" when considering telling someone...

For me? The biggest problem is knowing it's not socialy acceptable... Yeah, I know it's awkward or odd... But people just don't understand or don't take the time to understand, whether it's Furryness in general or whether it's something IN the furrydom.

I don't consider all the porn and childhood destruction all that disturbing, i just ignore it... really... I think if people want to do that sort of thing, let them, it's my problem if i don't like it... But i'm an "Acceptionist" and i'm teaching myself to be open-minded (not that i am not open minded) and taking ALL things into consideration...

I know that most Furrs aren't into the erotic sort of stuff, but i am sort of... which is in itself shamed, but there is worse in the world... So, yeah, call me what you like, abuse me, whatever, i take it all as a learning process... so i actually appreciate it (in one way or another).

I'm also new, so yeah, if i say something a bit-out-of your comfort zone, say so.

"Draws in sky with finger in an infinite symbol"

But, i Think the thing is with people is that they're not understanding of other peoples positions... take a quote from earlier in this thread (not mine).
----
Relationships.  It's a little awkward when your girlfriend knows you're into gay furry smut. It tends to cause some arguing. And fights. And screaming, and crying... 

The best part is that the arguing isn't because of coming home from work late, or looking at a girl's tits; it's from popping a boner over the latest Adam Wan piece. Then you're like, damn, am I gay or what? More arguing ensues. Gay furry porn is sent to your parents. Therapy ensues. Large amounts of shame and wishes to end ones life ensue. 

I mean I think the rest can be left to the imagination.
---

Correct me if i'm wrong, or too judgemental, but i think a lack of consideration or understanding... And that's the hard part, wondering whether or not that someone will react badly to it or not...

that's just my opinion, criticise it as you like, you might even change my mind.


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