# Opinion about my story



## HistoricalyIncorrect (Sep 1, 2018)

Out of nowhere I felt like writing the story which is still in progress but I would like to know what you think about it

Here it is

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Crimean Campaign

"Sich in flames"

As they have approached the proximity of the Sich, Jerzy ordered 20 howtizers to shoot shrapenel at the poorly made fort. With ugly grin and apple tabbacco smoke pumping out of his nostrils he spoke:
-Ahhh back to the old days.
 He starved for it as his last years he spend pushing papers, old bobcat felt alive again.
Second wave of bullets collapsed lesser structures, with starved eyes he looked at falling town. His bad side needed it for long time, way too long. Ruckus of shooting cannons did not moved him as he watched with pride as the Sich suffer.
Third wave was loaded with chained balls, Jerzy could promise as he saw Cossack being cut in half on the wooden wall. Ladders on right were already prepared, position on hill allowed him to see everything clearly. Soldier were ready and willing to attack as they knew that with good commander there is no shame to die.
Fourth wave was a signal, out of nowhere his soldiers regrouped with siege shields protecting ladders as they have reached the wall the musketeers made a salve shooting few men on walls. Jerzy pulled out the sabre and charged the walls with them.
-The first one that will get on that wall will always have a wine in his basement!- he shauted as he was pushing himeslf on the wall, he even reached it first.
 The moment he set the foot on the wall he started to spin his sabre with a godspeed putting more and more Cossack down, his soldier were right behind him. Men were pushed of the wall, some of them on ground and some of them on smaller structures. Blue coats filled the Sich in few minutes bayonetting and shooting everything on the way, Jerzy and his close storm batallion decided to take direct approach at the main building, it was blocked of course, the squadron was made entirely out of felines which dexterity allowed them to get quick way in trough the windows yet the cossacks were prepared. The windows were covered by musketeers. No way inside, the only way is to wait until the cannon will get on the place, the battle was won already. Last enemy soldiers were closed in the building, defenses were gone, smoke, smell of gunpowder and ruins everywhere. The defenders were mostly young unexperienced men, fort itself was badly constructed and in bad location, they have attacked when the sun was coming down from the direction of siege which concealed thei movement a bit. It was easy win, no pride in this but Jerzy did not cared about pride but to continue his campaign, every success was a success, doesn't matter about the size.
Jerzy took another glance at what was left of Sich, ravens were already making circles above the fort. Soldiers were finishing off dying Cossacks, many of them couldn't be older than 17, still a children. Jerzy's war character was completely cold but he did his best to keep his honour... sometimes it was impossible.
-Sir! - Infantry officer approached him- what about prisoners?
-What prisoners? -Jerzy asked
-Some women, children, old people and one officer.
-An officer you say? hmm... let the civilians go but take officer with us. Order men to loot everything and retreat. We need to move encampment and rest.
Sun was already going down, fort was turned into pile of rubble, this will make as good example for the enemy. Order was to set rest of the sich on fire including the armory with black powder.
Burning arrows hit the trail of black powder mixed with alcohol until it reached the barrels.
Explosion was powerful enough to stop the army, Sich ceased to exist. It was time to go.


OOO


"Evening in the camp"
Evening was like after every won battle in Jerzy's style. Dancing and singing on tables with sabres by soldiers and women for company, whole barrels were being empited in seconds! Fireplaces and food was everywhere! Different music was playing in different parts of the camp but two things connected it, loud and cheerful!
Everyone was partying, from fresh recruits to highest officers! Everyone was having a time of his and her's life exept for two men, Hetman Jerzy and his canine prisoner.
In the red tent nearby the party Jerzy was having different fun... or complete annoyence with the prisoner.
-Listen Ivan... I should be out there completely pissed showing my men not only how to conquer but also how to party as believe me or not I am also living being, I need to socialize with my men so pretty please tell me what I want to know... or I will make you special guest on this party.
-Go fuck yourself you Polish whore!- Cossack answered spat right on Jerzy's mustache.
Jerzy anger was already growing but he didn't let him realise that... he attemted rethorics anyway.
-I will provide you with horse, clothes, food and I will give you fifty Zlote along with document stating that you are under political immunity signed by me and of course I will let you go if you will only answer for few of my questions. -Jerzy calmly answered with warm look in his eyes.
-If I will not?- Cossack spoke
-Then you will sit here until your ass will go completely flat... or I will take you to Kniaz Jarema
The Cossack got chills just when he heard this name, "Father of impaled children, Jarema Wisniowiecki"
-Alright, alright... just get me something to drink please, at least this...- Tear went down his cheek
-You are not betraying anyone, remember you are still classified as Polish and you can go back to the homeland - Bobcat spoke it as he pulled out bottle of wine and two glasses -Finest Hungarian wine, do you like wine or prefer something stronger? I know your feeling and I want you to know that as long as you are talking you are absolutely safe, from my men and from Chmielnicki.
It was clear the Cossack was a officer in Chmielnicki's uprising. He was afraid of his revenge which would eventually happen.
-Wine will do
Jerzy poured two full glasses of wine and said - Na zdrowie!- and rose the toast, to his surprise even the Cossack rose one.
-So the peace between Commonwealth and Cossacks may happen and prevail! - Jerzy said
-So the peace may happen and prevail! - Cossack answered. Polish bobcat felt it would be the easiest interrogation in his life. The have downed entire glass and quickly filled another round.


TBC


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## Rant (Sep 1, 2018)

Yu rite gud. 

I'll go more in depth later


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## Vic_the_Hard_Rock_Wolf (Sep 2, 2018)

Commonblob is the hero = 3/10

No but really, not bad at all. Your writing is clear, easy to read and full of energy. Plus the early modern era (especially the protestant reformation, formation of the modern concept of a state, the thirty year's war and the Swedish Empire) is my current niche in history so for that alone you get a few extra points from me. This is genuinely promising!


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## HistoricalyIncorrect (Sep 2, 2018)

www.furaffinity.net: Crimean Campaign - WIP by HistoricalyIncorrect

I have developed the story, 3 chapters are done and for some of you pervs I involved NSFW stuff 

Please give me more opinions


Vic_the_Hard_Rock_Wolf said:


> Commonblob is the hero = 3/10
> 
> No but really, not bad at all. Your writing is clear, easy to read and full of energy. Plus the early modern era (especially the protestant reformation, formation of the modern concept of a state, the thirty year's war and the Swedish Empire) is my current niche in history so for that alone you get a few extra points from me. This is genuinely promising!


Thank you for reading it and giving me your opinion, it means a lot to me


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## HistoricalyIncorrect (Sep 2, 2018)

Also I plan to move to Swedish - Polish wars in future stories


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## HistoricalyIncorrect (Sep 3, 2018)

Vic_the_Hard_Rock_Wolf said:


> Commonblob is the hero = 3/10
> 
> No but really, not bad at all. Your writing is clear, easy to read and full of energy. Plus the early modern era (especially the protestant reformation, formation of the modern concept of a state, the thirty year's war and the Swedish Empire) is my current niche in history so for that alone you get a few extra points from me. This is genuinely promising!


btw this time period is exactly the one I am mostly interested about, I also want to alternate the history so it works better in few scenarios


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## Vic_the_Hard_Rock_Wolf (Sep 3, 2018)

HistoricalyIncorrect said:


> btw this time period is exactly the one I am mostly interested about, I also want to alternate the history so it works better in few scenarios



One alt-history scenario I'd be very interested in would be if the sejm granted the king Sigismund III Vasa sufficient powers to crush duke Charle's ambitions for the crown of Sweden, thus uniting the realms of Poland-Lithuania, Sweden, Finland and the Baltics into a one massively powerful political entity, or alternatively if Estonia and Finland would've been annexed straight into the Commonwealth after the forementioned duke Charles (Charles IX) would've gained the crown de facto. This period sure 
doesn't stop giving when it comes to dramatic and hugely consequencial what-if scenarios.



HistoricalyIncorrect said:


> Thank you for reading it and giving me your opinion, it means a lot to me



Always happy to help a fellow history nerd!


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## HistoricalyIncorrect (Sep 3, 2018)

Vic_the_Hard_Rock_Wolf said:


> One alt-history scenario I'd be very interested in would be if the sejm granted the king Sigismund III Vasa sufficient powers to crush duke Charle's ambitions for the crown of Sweden, thus uniting the realms of Poland-Lithuania, Sweden, Finland and the Baltics into a one massively powerful political entity, or alternatively if Estonia and Finland would've been annexed straight into the Commonwealth after the forementioned duke Charles (Charles IX) would've gained the crown de facto. This period sure
> doesn't stop giving when it comes to dramatic and hugely consequencial what-if scenarios.
> 
> 
> ...


Ahhh the inside Baltic lake? Yeah I have heard about ii, we will see this kight be not such a bad idea


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