# The Masturbation Thread



## Bonzzai (Jun 22, 2008)

Well, after a lenghty discussion here about masturbation, it was suggested to make a thread about masturbation, so welcome :3

I'm hoping that this thread lives for a while. Just don't get too into detail. 

*Discuss*:
Whatever. I want to hear about you getting caught. I find that funny.

And of COURSE we need funny masturbation stories.
Start >D

Edit: Keep. it. clean. I removed a couple of questions to make it less likely to come up. You don't need to answer the questions, I was just in it for the lulz. And the dreaded "lol wut" pear. Feel free to lock the thread if it's too bad. n.n


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## Sulroth (Jun 22, 2008)

NO.


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## Erro (Jun 22, 2008)

How about... not?


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## yak (Jun 22, 2008)

For the love of god and privacy.....


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## nrr (Jun 22, 2008)

Sulroth said:


> NO.


Agreed.


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## Mr Fox (Jun 22, 2008)

And also someone actually did it i actually loled when i saw the thread title XD

EDIT: anyhow to answer your questions 
How much do you masturbate? never
Where do you masturbate? nowhere
How often? once in a blue moon 
What do you use? a pen!

Just in case anyone asks any questions the pen thing was a joke


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## Bonzzai (Jun 22, 2008)

Thread deleted... NOW D:
It's fine with me, I don't care to share the information myself anyway XD


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## Tycho (Jun 22, 2008)

what.
the.
fuck.


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## Shark_the_raptor (Jun 22, 2008)

Well if you must know-
Every other day.
My bedroom, obviously.
Nothing...


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## Bonzzai (Jun 22, 2008)

Mr Fox said:


> And also someone actually did it i actually loled when i saw the thread title XD
> 
> EDIT: anyhow to answer your questions
> How much do you masturbate? never
> ...



To be honest, that pear really creeps me out. It always has ;'S


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## A terrible situation (Jun 22, 2008)

Bonzzai said:


> *Discuss*:
> How much do you masturbate?
> Where do you masturbate?
> How often?
> ...


Might as well do this
I really masturbate far too much, before the incident I was jacking off maybe 5 times a day. Now it's more like once a day.
Mostly in this chair. Every now and then in bed. I've done it in movie theaters before. 
same as what I said before.
My...hand?
Everyone has heard my story I think. Not necessary to say it again.


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## LonelyFox (Jun 22, 2008)

how often: once a week or so
what do i use: a lil too personal
were: bed, or comp chair

lol im not afraid to say alot of stuff


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## Mr Fox (Jun 22, 2008)

Bonzzai said:


> To be honest, that pear really creeps me out. It always has ;'S


 
The pear doesn't care... the pear rules the interwebz!!!!!


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## Mr Fox (Jun 22, 2008)

A terrible situation said:


> Might as well do this
> I really masturbate far too much, before the incident I was jacking off maybe* 5 times a day*. Now it's more like once a day.
> Mostly in this chair. Every now and then in bed. I've done it in movie theaters before.
> same as what I said before.
> ...


 
WOW!


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## Bonzzai (Jun 22, 2008)

Maybe I should step away from the intrawebz, then. ;~;

Despite being the one that created this thread, I don't masturbate often.
But I'm not ashamed to say that I do >D

I probably should step away from the computer for a while, anyway. I've been meaning to call a friend and get his ass over here, and I need to make a couple videos for YouTube.


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## Arshes Nei (Jun 22, 2008)

yak said:


> For the love of god and privacy.....



Well you know someone usually screams God when they orgasm...but uhh yeah...that's still done in private.

Is there a reason people need to share this on a PG 13 forum?


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## Calorath (Jun 22, 2008)

Daily
the front lawn
....daily?
Crisco


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## RetroCorn (Jun 22, 2008)

Bonzzai said:


> Well, after a lenghty discussion here about masturbation, it was suggested to make a thread about masturbation, so welcome :3
> 
> I'm hoping that this thread lives for a while. Just don't get too into detail.
> 
> ...



i nearly fell out of my chair when i saw you made this thread. 

but here we go...

How much do you masturbate?: 2-3 times a day?... just depends realy.
Where do you masturbate?: at my desk in this chair, bed, few other random places...
What do you use?: my hand?...


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## A terrible situation (Jun 22, 2008)

Mr Fox said:


> WOW!


Yup. That's a conservative estimate, too.

EDIT:
now that I think about it, that's really the baseline, I've done much more than 5. Much.


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## CheezWizTimeLord (Jun 22, 2008)

How much do you masturbate? About once a day.
Where do you masturbate? In my room.
How often? Redundant question (see # 1).
What do you use? My hand and Pr0ns.

ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?


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## LonelyFox (Jun 22, 2008)

lol PG-13 im 14 lols be glad theres not 12 year olds XD


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## RetroCorn (Jun 22, 2008)

CheezWizTimeLord said:


> What do you use? My hand and Pr0ns.



oh yes i forgot, i always use yiff as well. :3


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## Mr Fox (Jun 22, 2008)

Ok i'm gonna answer them truthfully now 


How much do you masturbate? all the time...
Where do you masturbate? everywhere i don't care who sees me!
How often? as i said all the time 
What do you use? everything that feels good.... everything  includes porn but not yiff yay for being different XD


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## Cero (Jun 22, 2008)

lmao i can't believe people are posting serious answers here xD


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## nrr (Jun 22, 2008)

LonelyFox said:


> lol PG-13 im 14 lols be glad theres not 12 year olds XD


Not the point.

Masturbation is generally considered a pretty, uh, *mature* topic.  I'm talking borderline NC-17 here.


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## Erro (Jun 22, 2008)

This thread is incredibly too fun too watch xD


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## CheezWizTimeLord (Jun 22, 2008)

RetroCorn said:


> oh yes i forgot, i always use yiff as well. :3


 
Tentacle Pr0ns is good too.


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## Mr Fox (Jun 22, 2008)

Wow this thread has 15 people viewing it XD


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## Bonzzai (Jun 22, 2008)

Ah, sorry for creating it, I was just thinking it would provide some lulz. I changed the questions, no more talking too in-depth about it. I know that the majority of 13 year olds, probably all of the ones coming to this forum, do it. But if it is too mature, I'd be glad to just let it die, or have it deleted. :]


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## LonelyFox (Jun 22, 2008)

14, and like hell am i gonna be embarrassed LOL

teenagers KNOW this thread inside out lol


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## Jack (Jun 22, 2008)

OK awkward conversation? yes. funny? yes. will I answer NO.


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## Mr Fox (Jun 22, 2008)

Bonzzai said:


> Ah, sorry for creating it, I was just thinking it *would provide some lulz*. I changed the questions, no more talking too in-depth about it. I know that the majority of 13 year olds, probably all of the ones coming to this forum, do it. But if it is too mature, I'd be glad to just let it die, or have it deleted. :]


 
Oh it has done that alright! 
and 
	

	
	
		
		

		
			





 at cheezwiztimelord


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## CheezWizTimeLord (Jun 22, 2008)

yay, I've been pear'd!


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## LonelyFox (Jun 22, 2008)

ur such a tampon... lol


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## Bonzzai (Jun 22, 2008)

Hah, that reminds me of another funny picture. I don't wanna post it, but I'll send a link. Just 'cause then it's like an invitation to start image spamming. No.

[Link]


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## Erro (Jun 22, 2008)

LonelyFox said:


> ur such a tampon... lol


If you don't get that comic reference, I'm going to slap you.

It is epically awesome xD


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## Wolf-Bone (Jun 22, 2008)

Oh come on, everyone here knows the PG-13 thing is a crock of shit and is violated in some way in virtually every thread that gets posted. Besides, *IT'S THE FUCKING INTERNET! Jesus Christ!*

Anyway, as for the topic itself. Threads like this are pretty much the only reason that if Merlin or Sherlock Holmes or some ancient Jewish wizard along those lines offered to grant me the power of telekinesis I'd turn them down. Because this is one of those instances where I just visualize a nuclear explosion, mushroom cloud and all, except it spreads across the entire earth, and then God floats down to what's left of his scorched creation donning a Rick James costume and does the whole "fuck yo couch nigga!" routine all over it.

Y'all oughtta be ashamed of yourselves some days, for real.


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## RetroCorn (Jun 22, 2008)

i award this thread the certificate of lulz.


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## Mr Fox (Jun 22, 2008)

Yeesh there still alot of people viewing this thread hehe ^_^ may the pear help you all!!


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## Bonzzai (Jun 22, 2008)

Why four guests? Gtfa from my thread, guests!
I've never really payed attention to who's looking at threads. Oh, but there's Jack. And yak. I recognize a few other screennames, too. This thread isn't going to totally destory my rep, is it? Even though I didn't have one to begin with?

Woo, I am so printing this certificate out. Thank you. Thank you *very* much.


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## LonelyFox (Jun 22, 2008)

but teh pear scares meh...


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## Mr Fox (Jun 22, 2008)

CheezWizTimeLord said:


> yay, I've been pear'd!


 
The pear likes you... XD
and lonely the pear is cool and isn't scary at all XD


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## Bonzzai (Jun 22, 2008)

LonelyFox said:


> but teh pear scares meh...



Thank you! You're not the only one >:]
You know what other image scared me? I probably couldn't find it, but it's a finger. With teeth. And trolls (may they die) would spam it all over this other forum I was on.

Oh wait... I hope this thread doesn't make me a troll. Naw. I have good grammar. Right?


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## Mr Fox (Jun 22, 2008)

Oh guys learn to love the pear


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## LonelyFox (Jun 22, 2008)

NEVA!!!!


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## Lambat (Jun 22, 2008)

what its the idea man!? :shock:


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## Kickapoo (Jun 22, 2008)

Wow, after seeing the title I had to see this thread for myself.  One reason why I'm here....(for the lolz), thanks for making it enthusiastic to come back Bonzzai.


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## Mr Fox (Jun 22, 2008)

wow i wonder if any of guests will actually sign up to this now considering that they seen this thread


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## Bonzzai (Jun 22, 2008)

I didn't mean for it to be so funny, but it's been fun. No problem, that's my good deed of the day. >:]

-Reads Mr. Fox's signature-
Are there really going to be cookies? Kind of like a rep system?


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## RetroCorn (Jun 22, 2008)

we need more on topic stories. 

bring it.


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## Mr Fox (Jun 22, 2008)

Yep theres cookies for anyone that likes the pear....

and to retrocorn.. this is my story i once masterbated and it felt good


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## Bonzzai (Jun 22, 2008)

Too dirty :X
xDD

Well, I've never almost been caught masturbating. Oh, but my mom walked in when I was under the covers once and was like "I keep hearing this noise!". It made me not want to continue :/

My sister's almost walked in on me twice with other guys.


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## Bonzzai (Jun 22, 2008)

I pretty much wanted to get rid of anything that would get to be over a PG-13 limit.
I consider this PG-13 right here, as long as it doesn't get detailed :]

*Edit*
Totally random. Just wanted to say I really love your art, Arshes. xD;


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## Mr Fox (Jun 22, 2008)

*yawn* well this thread is dead  although theres still a heck of alot of people viewing it XD


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## AlexInsane (Jun 22, 2008)

I saw this thread and I masturbated all over it.

I came, I saw, I came again.


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## LonelyFox (Jun 22, 2008)

^^^ lol


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## Bonzzai (Jun 22, 2008)

Yeah, it pretty much died. I'm kind of getting distracted by other stuff, anyway. I've been on the internet so much today, my eyes are even starting to hurt a little. @.@;


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## Mr Fox (Jun 22, 2008)

AlexInsane said:


> I saw this thread and I masturbated all over it.
> 
> I came, I saw, I came again.


 
Hmmm i didn't know you liked the pear so much


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## RetroCorn (Jun 22, 2008)

*casts a revive thread spell* BREATH!!!!!!


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## LonelyFox (Jun 22, 2008)

LIVE GOD DAMN U!!!

LIIIIIVE!!!!


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## Bonzzai (Jun 22, 2008)

It's called a phoenix down, and I'm all out! D:
Damn, I'm a nerd. I dont' even play Final Fantasy, hahaha.


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## Erro (Jun 22, 2008)

AlexInsane said:


> I saw this thread and I masturbated all over it.
> 
> I came, I saw, I came again.


I love that quote <3


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## LonelyFox (Jun 22, 2008)

LOL well anyways nice thread while it lasted X3


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## Mr Fox (Jun 22, 2008)

This thread will always be remembered as being pear related masterbation crap ;D


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## Azure (Jun 22, 2008)

Damn, i miss all the fun.


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## Mr Fox (Jun 22, 2008)

AzurePhoenix said:


> Damn, i miss all the fun.


 
Hmm you couldn't really call it fun XD


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## LonelyFox (Jun 22, 2008)

I could lol


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## Erro (Jun 22, 2008)

AzurePhoenix said:


> Damn, i miss all the fun.


Oh you, we can always find more fun for you


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## RetroCorn (Jun 22, 2008)

ok here's a question.

what do you call it? 

i call it pawing off.


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## LonelyFox (Jun 22, 2008)

lols


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## Hackfox (Jun 22, 2008)

Got any lotion xD jk


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## Mr Fox (Jun 22, 2008)

RetroCorn said:


> ok here's a question.
> 
> what do you call it?
> 
> i call it pawing off.


 
Why do furries always change everything to make it sound furry i mean call it jacking off!!!!!!! yeesh!!! XD


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## LonelyFox (Jun 22, 2008)

Josh- you got any lotion

hackfox-no i dont got any lotion

me- why do you need it

Josh- i got ashy elbows..

everyone-like hell you do josh, we know what ur doing

josh- no u perverts...

brandt- uuuuh "hackfox's name" i think i got ashy elbows too

me- lol

hack-ewwwwww


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## Bonzzai (Jun 22, 2008)

I do call it pawing off. It just kind of stuck.
But I used to say "jacking"


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## Shark_the_raptor (Jun 22, 2008)

RetroCorn said:


> ok here's a question.
> 
> what do you call it?
> 
> i call it pawing off.



Masturbating.


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## LonelyFox (Jun 22, 2008)

LonelyFox said:


> Josh- you got any lotion
> 
> hackfox-no i dont got any lotion
> 
> ...




real quotes from Hack's B-day last years lol


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## Mr Fox (Jun 22, 2008)

Shark_the_raptor said:


> Masturbating.


 
You and me sir are on the same page ;D


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## Hackfox (Jun 22, 2008)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2p1_bntB5F8 heres what gonna be the song for the whole FA community one day


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## AlexInsane (Jun 22, 2008)

Beating the bishop
Tenderizing your beef
Spanking the schoolboy
Wanking the walrus
Kicking the Kickapoo
Squashing the squid
Touching the trouser-mouse
Squeezing the eel

Call it what you will, it's still damn good fun when you're all alone and have nothing better to do....


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## Mr Fox (Jun 22, 2008)

AlexInsane said:


> Beating the bishop
> Tenderizing your beef
> Spanking the schoolboy
> Wanking the walrus
> ...


 
You and me are also on the same page ;D


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## RetroCorn (Jun 22, 2008)

Hackfox said:


> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2p1_bntB5F8 heres what gonna be the song for the whole FA community one day



doesn't work.


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## Mr Fox (Jun 22, 2008)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qUdNxuHr4Vc
This is the song and a freaky vid to go with it


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## RetroCorn (Jun 22, 2008)

Mr Fox said:


> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qUdNxuHr4Vc
> This is the song and a freaky vid to go with it



0_o


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## AlexInsane (Jun 22, 2008)

Is it circle jerk time nao?

:3

I brought the fried chicken and the porn.


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## RetroCorn (Jun 22, 2008)

AlexInsane said:


> Is it circle jerk time nao?
> 
> :3
> 
> I brought the fried chicken and the porn.



sweet! :3


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## Mr Fox (Jun 22, 2008)

RetroCorn said:


> 0_o


 
Yep thats generally the reaction to that vid XD


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## Erro (Jun 22, 2008)

All I can think of to reply to this thread is...

"Go away! I'm 'batin!"


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## Bonzzai (Jun 22, 2008)

My sister likes to not knock and barge into my room as quickly as she can. I've never been caught, though


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## Mr Fox (Jun 22, 2008)

It's great how no has answered the questions since like the second page XD


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## AlexInsane (Jun 22, 2008)

Bonzzai said:


> My sister likes to not knock and barge into my room as quickly as she can. I've never been caught, though



What a slut she is, she's so desperate to see cock she'll try to look at yours!

You need to get that girl on Jerry Springer.


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## AlexInsane (Jun 22, 2008)

Mr Fox said:


> It's great how no has answered the questions since like the second page XD



The second page? When was that created, btw? Back when Ramses was still pharaoh or something?


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## Bonzzai (Jun 22, 2008)

Mr Fox said:


> It's great how no has answered the questions since like the second page XD



Hahah, check the first post. I changed the questions :3


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## Erro (Jun 22, 2008)

AlexInsane said:


> The second page? When was that created, btw? Back when Ramses was still pharaoh or something?


created about 2 hours ago


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## LonelyFox (Jun 22, 2008)

lol, my sister does the same thing, as with my mom

mother is sure i got porn on my comp, but shell be sadly dissapointed


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## Mr Fox (Jun 22, 2008)

Bonzzai said:


> Well, after a lenghty discussion here about masturbation, it was suggested to make a thread about masturbation, so welcome :3
> 
> I'm hoping that this thread lives for a while. Just don't get too into detail.
> 
> ...


 
That pear really is god ;D


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## AlexInsane (Jun 22, 2008)

Erro said:


> created about 2 hours ago



That's like a billion years in interwebs time.


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## RetroCorn (Jun 22, 2008)

pass the yiff if you please, i'm somewhat bored atm. :O


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## Hackfox (Jun 22, 2008)

Speaking of this...I'll brb *comes back* ok I love you all so yeah life's good...


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## AlexInsane (Jun 22, 2008)

RetroCorn said:


> pass the yiff if you please, i'm somewhat bored atm. :O



*sticks it in your pooper* 

*is overjoyed*


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## RetroCorn (Jun 22, 2008)

AlexInsane said:


> *sticks it in your pooper*
> 
> *is overjoyed*



0_o

i meant hand it to me...


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## AlexInsane (Jun 22, 2008)

RetroCorn said:


> 0_o
> 
> i meant hand it to me...



WHAT'S THAT? JAM MORE THINGS IN YOUR POOPER? ALL RIGHT THEN! 

*proceeds to stick a brick, a couple steaks, and a small airplane into your pooper*


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## RetroCorn (Jun 22, 2008)

AlexInsane said:


> WHAT'S THAT? JAM MORE THINGS IN YOUR POOPER? ALL RIGHT THEN!
> 
> *proceeds to stick a brick, a couple steaks, and a small airplane into your pooper*



omg it's not ment to streach that far!!!! 0_o


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## Erro (Jun 23, 2008)

@last set of posts: ROFLMFAO xD


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## A terrible situation (Jun 23, 2008)

AlexInsane said:


> Beating the bishop
> Tenderizing your beef
> Spanking the schoolboy
> Wanking the walrus
> ...


I call it pinching kittens


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## AlexInsane (Jun 23, 2008)

A terrible situation said:


> I call it pinching kittens



Kittens have nothing to do with it. o.o UNLESS....

OMG, ANIMAL FUKR ALURT!!11!


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## A terrible situation (Jun 23, 2008)

AlexInsane said:


> Kittens have nothing to do with it. o.o UNLESS....
> 
> OMG, ANIMAL FUKR ALURT!!11!


 
YOU're the one who said wanking the walrus...
noob...


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## Monak (Jun 23, 2008)

I like to throttle myself with the lamp cord and beat off before I pass out from lack of oxygen , then pour hot candle wax myself.


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## Erro (Jun 23, 2008)

Monak said:


> I like to throttle myself with the lamp cord and beat off before I pass out from lack of oxygen , then pour hot candle wax myself.


Pics or it didn't happen


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## AlexInsane (Jun 23, 2008)

Erro said:


> Pics or it didn't happen



I take the pictures and make him eat them. He likes that bit a lot.


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## Erro (Jun 23, 2008)

AlexInsane said:


> I take the pictures and make him eat them. He likes that bit a lot.


wut? o.o


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## Monak (Jun 23, 2008)

Naw the lamp cord was a joke , but I do love candle wax doesn't hurt going on , but its a bitch to pull off when you get it on some body hair.


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## Monak (Jun 23, 2008)

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< I DONT WANT TO BE A PIRATE!


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## A terrible situation (Jun 23, 2008)

Monak said:


> Naw the lamp cord was a joke , but I do love candle wax doesn't hurt going on , but its a bitch to pull off when you get it on some body hair.


I can't imagine that body hair would be a problem after the first time.


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## AlexInsane (Jun 23, 2008)

MONAK, EAT THE YUMMY PICTURES, BITCH. 

*shoves a few of them in your mouth*


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## Monak (Jun 23, 2008)

A terrible situation said:


> I can't imagine that body hair would be a problem after the first time.



when you have a good bit of hair it becomes one , even more so when the body hair is in sensitive areas.


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## Monak (Jun 23, 2008)

AlexInsane said:


> MONAK, EAT THE YUMMY PICTURES, BITCH.
> 
> *shoves a few of them in your mouth*



NOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOM *throws them up into your mouth*


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## arcticsilver (Jun 23, 2008)

I like turtles


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## A terrible situation (Jun 23, 2008)

Monak said:


> when you have a good bit of hair it becomes one , even more so when the body hair is in sensitive areas.


just shave it/wax it. 
Body hair is unnatractive to me.
I know, I know, the irony of it all.


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## Monak (Jun 23, 2008)

A terrible situation said:


> just shave it/wax it.
> Body hair is unnatractive to me.
> I know, I know, the irony of it all.



Are you fuzzy wuzzy?


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## AlexInsane (Jun 23, 2008)

arcticsilver said:


> I like turtles



PEDOPHILE! BURN HIM! 

*dances about with a lit torch*


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## Erro (Jun 23, 2008)

Monak said:


> Naw the lamp cord was a joke , but I do love candle wax doesn't hurt going on , but its a bitch to pull off when you get it on some body hair.


Mmm, body wax, good stuff. I've used that a few times before. Thankfully, I don't have much hair in the areas that get waxed, since I have to stay fairly well cleaned up for work, so I don't get that pain much.


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## A terrible situation (Jun 23, 2008)

Monak said:


> Are you fuzzy wuzzy?


I meant the irony of being a furry and hating body hair.
And yes, I am kind of fuzzy wuzzy, but my fuzzy-wuzzyness irks me.


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## Monak (Jun 23, 2008)

Erro said:


> Mmm, body wax, good stuff. I've used that a few times before. Thankfully, I don't have much hair in the areas that get waxed, since I have to stay fairly well cleaned up for work, so I don't get that pain much.



I am completely entraced by fire so it wasn't too long before I found out my liking for the tingle that wax gives , also like whips and spanking but thats another story.


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## Erro (Jun 23, 2008)

Monak said:


> I am completely entraced by fire so it wasn't too long before I found out my liking for the tingle that wax gives , also like whips and spanking but thats another story.


I pay my bills working for bondage sites, I doubt you could tell me much I haven't at least seen, if not tried.


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## Monak (Jun 23, 2008)

Erro said:


> I pay my bills working for bondage sites, I doubt you could tell me much I haven't at least seen, if not tried.



You would probably be right.  I am not heavy it to I just like a little side of pain with my pleasure.


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## A terrible situation (Jun 23, 2008)

Erro said:


> I pay my bills working for bondage sites, I doubt you could tell me much I haven't at least seen, if not tried.


Liiiinks
give me liiinks


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## Erro (Jun 23, 2008)

A terrible situation said:


> Liiiinks
> give me liiinks


paysite. If your actually interested, google "boys in bondage" and you will find it.


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## Tycho (Jun 23, 2008)

I now know a little bit more about some of you than I EVER wanted to.

That is all.


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## Monak (Jun 23, 2008)

Its all fun playin with your gun till someone gets shot in the eye.


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## Bambi (Jun 23, 2008)

> Maybe I should step away from the intrawebz, then. ;~;
> 
> Despite being the one that created this thread, I don't masturbate often.
> But I'm not ashamed to say that I do >D


 
Oh shi -- ...

You made a thread I'm going to be dead honest in.

You guys want to know for the lulz? Because I don't care!


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## LonelyFox (Jun 23, 2008)

sure, why the hell not? X3


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## Teriath (Jun 23, 2008)

wow I didn't think something like this was allowed on here, but then again...yeah nevermind XD


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## yak (Jun 23, 2008)

Bonzzai said:


> It's called a phoenix down.....


No, it's called RP and it's not allowed.


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