# Critique my Story!



## Crazydaisy (Nov 19, 2016)

This is the story that I made on FA called FurryWorld and I won't tell you what's the story is about because I'll spoil the  story. Tell me what you think about it. The link is down below.

www.furaffinity.net: FurryWorld Story Part 1 by Crazydaisy


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## Rivercoon (Nov 19, 2016)

There is a separate section for critiques. forums.furaffinity.net: Tutorials & Critiques


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## sans-uchiha (Dec 17, 2016)

It's pretty poorly written, just to be honest.  It's not tremendously bad or even unsalvageable, but you need to refine your grammar, spelling and formatting.  You also need to work on your writing prose/voice in general.  I would suggest reading more books and picking up a clearer voice, then give writing more practice.


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## Crazydaisy (Dec 18, 2016)

sans-uchiha said:


> It's pretty poorly written, just to be honest.  It's not tremendously bad or even unsalvageable, but you need to refine your grammar, spelling and formatting.  You also need to work on your writing prose/voice in general.  I would suggest reading more books and picking up a clearer voice, then give writing more practice.



Yeah this is my first story I've written...


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## reptile logic (Dec 20, 2016)

The work feels like a rough draft to me. Follow @sans-uchiha 's advice. Remember, you are painting pictures, and attempting to incite an emotional response in your audience, with your words. if your intentions are not clearly written on the page, the reader may draw pictures and conclusions much different than what you had intended. Read the work aloud, as if you are reading to an audience, and if it feels flat or just doesn't come out the way you feel it inside of you, then work on it some more. Re-phrase, juggle the words to bring out what you really intend for the reader to draw from your writing. Sometimes something as simple as adding or relocating a comma can dramatically alter the way the sentence comes across in the reader's mind. Sometimes you'll just have to chuck a few lines in the trash, so to speak, and try again. Practice, practice...

As a published author, I'm very new to the scene. Please take this advice with the knowledge that this author is still learning the craft as well, and hopes to continue to learn and improve for many years to come.


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