# I give up on the social part



## Satisfoxy (Jun 27, 2021)

Even though I've dedicated a lot of my life to the Furry Fandom. (12 years) I am 100% done trying to socialize in it. I am going to just sit back and admire from afar. The art, the conventions, the everything besides talking to people. I have a sleeve of furry tattoos. I've legally changed my name to my Fur name & even my co-workers & family know that I like to dress up as a fox and go to these events.

The fandom gives off a happy family vibe from afar. I am not good at socializing, I'm awkward, a nerd, I like computers. I love making everything I say a reference to something. I basically talk in riddles and some people connect with me like that. Which is the weirdest part. Normal people connect with me more than furries.

Do furries not watch TV shows, movies, play video games enough in a wide spectrum that I get a disconnect? I love talking about cars and I'm very good at identifying a car from a distance no matter what year it was made.

I get people get into close-knit groups of friends that they stop trying to make new ones. What I don't understand is why Fursuiters/Popufurs have to get so snappy when you try to talk to them.

Maybe it is just me, I don't want to start new friendships. Its so hard now. No one is open about anything anymore, you gotta "get to know them" over the course of a few years. I don't want to spend a few years to find out I don't like you. Sorry.

I'm like an open book, I want you to know everything about me on the first day, not because I'm desperate but because I don't want to waste either of our time. Everyone goes "OOOO thats a red flag." Ghosted or blocked.

I don't feel this post as socializing before you point out I'm being a hypocrite. Socializing demands upfront, clever thought. I've spent two hours tweaking this post.


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## TyraWadman (Jun 27, 2021)

I feel your pain. I don't consider myself a furry, but I do see places like FAF as a 'pit-stop' of sorts where misfits and people from all walks of life can gather in their passings and possibly offer some (potentially) life-changing advice. I haven't been able to make any friends IRL. Online is 'eh' because 9 times out of ten, the other person has a life or pre-existing social group that I still end up being their last resort. Not blaming them, but it still sucks I can't have the same luck as they do.

Making friends was so easy when we were kids because we were forced to sit beside people or work with them in school. Now? No one has time. No one can be bothered. Everyone is tired or just doesn't wanna deal with anything. I try to be mindful of things that could be going wrong in their life, but so far that seems to be everyone- everyone waiting to be fixed, or waiting for you to 'get on their page' without ever reciprocating. 

I'm not a fan of machinery or tech myself, but there are threads open to Aviation, Guns and Cars if you'd like to take a peek! Or you can always start your own!

Pilots and aviators | Fur Affinity Forums
Firearm Owners In The Fandom? | Fur Affinity Forums
what do you drive? | Fur Affinity Forums

There's a whole category dedicated to games and music, which are definitely popular. X) 

PC and Console Gaming | Fur Affinity Forums
Music and Audio | Fur Affinity Forums

I probably can't give you what you seek (I'm straight up a snob and dislike almost everything), but I'm sure if you stick it out long enough you'll find a good number of people that will welcome you into their groups. I know online friendships is probably not your end-goal, but a lot of folks here seem to find and connect with people that live near them. It's possible you could find the same? 

Don't give up. And if you do choose to admire from afar, don't let opportunity pass you by! Even if it's to be that quiet kid with the occasional witty one-liner!


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## Muttmutt (Jun 28, 2021)

I feel like trying to talk with anyone “popular” is a waste of time because popular people are either full of themselves or too busy to talk to everyone they meet. Or both. You have to imagine how much bullshit they must put up with daily from numerous “fans” - not that it justifies rude behavior - which somewhat explains their lack of patience.

Honestly I think a lot of furries struggle socially. The way furries (and people deeply entrenched in internet culture) talk and interact is so drastically different from a majority of the world. Good, bad, or indifferent it makes social interaction hard. I have a hard time relating to other furries because I don’t like what’s considered normal conversation and behavior among the fandom. Maybe socializing here just isn’t for you. Hate to sound rude, but I can relate to your post. I have maybe a small handful of furry friends (most of which are only “one foot in” the fandom if you catch my drift) and a much larger friend group in real life. 

Also have you ever done some introspection on the way that _you _interact? Sometimes people don’t like oversharing. I know you might like to be an open book but a lot of people don’t enjoy oversharing. I personally get turned off by people who share their entire life story the first time we meet. People who do this tend to also share things that are awkward or just hard to cope with. Not saying that you do this but maybe think about just how much you share.

All in all I think that you maybe need to think about how you interact and what circles you’re interacting in. At the end of the day it might just not be for you. That’s alright too. Don’t waste time forcing something that’s not meant to be.


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## Jackpot Raccuki (Jun 28, 2021)

Pop furs are like celebrities, often too busy to talk, which is rare. But most like muttmutt mentioned are just full of themselves and generally are not worth your time, it’s rare to get close to one and often you’d have to been there before they were popular or well, be something like an artist that isn’t getting exploited. I imagine fursuiters are busy, but one I met was very nice and friendly, a tad clingy for my liking but a nice guy!

Generally I’ve personally reduced my seeking for new friends since yeah, it’s like pulling teeth at times to get a convo or is sadly too busy to talk and some just clearly don’t seem interested.
I’d advice looking at specific groups like say a car furs group, there is an entire thread about it and I’m sure there’s places you can find it like a discord server.

I understand the whole thing about the red flag thing and how just being an open book is not everyone’s cup of tea but, personally I’m not a big fan of it and I imagine not many are, I’m of course down to talk about my interest and know yours, but by god if I have to listen to another fur explain their entire backstory or something I’m clearly not interested in and have expressed it, I’m going to slap them into orbit with such power that NASA will hire me to slap their rockets into space.


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## Ratt Carry (Jun 28, 2021)

Satisfoxy said:


> Maybe it is just me, I don't want to start new friendships. Its so hard now. *No one is open about anything anymore*,* you gotta "get to know them" over the course of a few years*. I don't want to spend a few years to find out I don't like you. Sorry.


All of this was a weird read, but this was what sticks out to me the most. The Internet is really starting to erode the concept of building bonds and connections.
for some people. This is literally how it's *supposed* to work and that's how it _has _worked forever. 
What is a friend that you meet in Twitter replies or a Discord roleplay session but know nothing? How do you come out on the other side knowing you care about a person and respect them despite your differences? If you aren't bothered to put in the time to learn about them as a person what makes them any less of a random?


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## Troj (Jun 28, 2021)

Most people tend to see sharing "everything" about oneself as a red flag, because it's commonly associated with clingy people and people with no boundaries. (As a side note, autistic people may be more tolerant of candor or openness, depending on the form it takes.)

The sticky wicket is that the often-superficial and often-dull social-grooming rituals exist to "screen" people and test their basic ability to be safe and appropriate. A person who bypasses or rockets through these rituals might just be authentic and no-nonsense, or they might be loopy, and it can be hard to tell which from the outset.

Good relationships typically take time--yea, even when you happen to hit it off with somebody by sharing jokes or talking about personal interests! 

I'll also echo the sentiment that 'popufurs' can be hard to get to know because EVERYBODY wants to do the same. Some are full of themselves, but even the nice ones may be overwhelmed or understandably suspicious.


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## dastergast (Jun 28, 2021)

Autistic people that have or haven't been diagnosed. Talking about their issues on obscure internet forums and chat-rooms.
Places like https://forums.furaffinity.net , https://community.secondlife.com/forums/ etc

That is all there is to it.
nobody else has ever cared about what these strange anonymous people / user accounts do.
It has little or nothing to do with anything.


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## Ratt Carry (Jun 28, 2021)

Troj said:


> I'll also echo the sentiment that 'popufurs' can be hard to get to know because EVERYBODY wants to do the same. Some are full of themselves, but even the nice ones may be overwhelmed or understandably suspicious.


There was a user here many years ago. She was roommates with a decently well known and outrageously talented artist now working in the industry. She didn't flaunt it, but it was something she shared on her profile and frequently collaborated with him.

She became wary of meeting new people online because in most cases they would exclusively be trying to springboard off her just to meet the artist. People are so bizarre about meeting these false idols.


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## Pomorek (Jun 29, 2021)

I'd say that, paradoxically, you may be off to a good start - now that you gathered and admitted all these things for yourself. I've been in the fandom similar amount of time as you, but I always would sit back and watch from afar. I'm very asocial - double that on internet - so much that any effort to overcome it by force doesn't seem to make sense to me. Instead I'd just relax and usher in my asociality. Now comes the strange part. Over those years I made _very few_, but also _very close_, life-changing contacts. And I'm convinced they came my way as they did, precisely because I wasn't forcing anything. 

When it comes to things that can be done though, It goes a long way to be perceptive and ready to act on a hunch. It is extremely rare that I get a feeling the other person is "on the same frequency" as me. But once it happens, it's usually right.

It is true what they say, birds of a feather flock together. But first one needs to keep one's "true feathers" exposed.


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## Parabellum3 (Jul 1, 2021)

It really depends on who you talk to. If you bump into a person/community that you feel instinctually is a good match, then you will have a wonderful time with them. The hard part is just trying to find them in a world this large, like a needle in a haystack.


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## Raever (Jul 1, 2021)

I usually don't give posts like this too much attention, but I'll leave this nugget of advice here for the people who relate to the above:  
_*The worst tactic someone can use to try and make friends is to expect friendship.*_


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## O.D.D. (Jul 10, 2021)

Having nothing to go off here but your word I'll just say that your personality type is not uncommon within the fandom, based on my past experiences.  Infer what you will from that.

The furry fandom itself is a poor yardstick for anything regarding sociality as most people understand the concept.  The "social part" seems more like a form of networking than socializing most of the time.  I find the fandom itself to be less than ideal to forge social bonds over, and it's typically other interests that prove conducive towards that end.


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## Parabellum3 (Jul 10, 2021)

Long story short most people are outright cowards who turn traitors in the end.


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## O.D.D. (Jul 10, 2021)

Parabellum3 said:


> Long story short most people are outright cowards who turn traitors in the end.


As a blanket statement this does not hold up IMO, and I say that as someone who's tripped over their fair share of both cowards and traitors.


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## Parabellum3 (Jul 10, 2021)

O.D.D. said:


> As a blanket statement this does not hold up IMO, and I say that as someone who's tripped over their fair share of both cowards and traitors.


It happened so many times to the point where I would consider it a plausible cause.


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## Paws the Opinicus (Jul 10, 2021)

Some of us are just not interesting. We have interesting ideas when it comes to our online identities... aaaaaand that's basically it.


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## O.D.D. (Jul 10, 2021)

Parabellum3 said:


> It happened so many times to the point where I would consider it a plausible cause.


There are over 7 billion people on the planet.  Any given country has a population of, bare minimum, many thousands.

At some point, if you're having nothing but poor experiences with people and care enough to try and have better ones, introspection is called for.  People are not without flaws, relationships of any sort (ones that have enough depth to have the label) require a degree of investment and learning, and it never hurts to remember that both of these apply to you as well.


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## Parabellum3 (Jul 10, 2021)

O.D.D. said:


> There are over 7 billion people on the planet.  Any given country has a population of, bare minimum, many thousands.
> 
> At some point, if you're having nothing but poor experiences with people and care enough to try and have better ones, introspection is called for.  People are not without flaws, relationships of any sort (ones that have enough depth to have the label) require a degree of investment and learning, and it never hurts to remember that both of these apply to you as well.


Even tho I don’t have access to 7 billion people, I would still be ready to expect the worst from every person that I meet.


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## O.D.D. (Jul 10, 2021)

Parabellum3 said:


> Even tho I don’t have access to 7 billion people, I would still be ready to expect the worst from every person that I meet.


Probably not the best approach, given your results thus far.


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## Parabellum3 (Jul 10, 2021)

O.D.D. said:


> Probably not the best approach, given your results thus far.


Best to avoid any surprises isn’t it?


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## O.D.D. (Jul 10, 2021)

Parabellum3 said:


> Best to avoid any surprises isn’t it?


Turning an expectation of a negative outcome into a self-fulfilling prophecy is generally not the best way to approach anything.  I'm a habitual pessimist and I still like pleasant surprises.


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## Parabellum3 (Jul 11, 2021)

O.D.D. said:


> Turning an expectation of a negative outcome into a self-fulfilling prophecy is generally not the best way to approach anything.  I'm a habitual pessimist and I still like pleasant surprises.


Then what is?


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## O.D.D. (Jul 11, 2021)

Parabellum3 said:


> Then what is?


Engage people with no special expectations one way or the other, beyond the essentials of decorum/politeness befitting the situation.  If you expect the worst, it will show through and it will very likely turn an otherwise neutral or friendly encounter into a variably unpleasant one for everyone involved.  People can usually (barring folks with ASDs who have difficulty picking up on this at times) tell when you are tense, anticipatory or otherwise uncomfortable.  Leading off with obvious baggage does not tend to foster healthy relationships for a number of reasons.  Listen at least as much as you talk.

This is a learning process for everyone involved.  People are not machines coming off an assembly line to identical specs, they do not have a universal "friendship" button, and what one person likes or appreciates another dislikes or loathes.


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## Parabellum3 (Jul 11, 2021)

O.D.D. said:


> This is a learning process for everyone involved. People are not machines coming off an assembly line to identical specs, they do not have a universal "friendship" button, and what one person likes or appreciates another dislikes or loathes.


I really fucking wish they did.


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## O.D.D. (Jul 11, 2021)

Parabellum3 said:


> I really fucking wish they did.


If wishes were horses, beggars would ride.  You work with what you have, not with what you wish you had.


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## Parabellum3 (Jul 12, 2021)

O.D.D. said:


> If wishes were horses, beggars would ride.  You work with what you have, not with what you wish you had.


Gives me more of a reason to be a pessimist I'd say.


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## O.D.D. (Jul 12, 2021)

Parabellum3 said:


> Gives me more of a reason to be a pessimist I'd say.


The fact that you're even participating in the thread tells me you're uncertain in your resignation to this idea, this abysmally dim view of people and socialization.  You have that tiny little voice bouncing around in your head - "what if you're wrong?"

And so you quibble and run in circles, just like this.  You dare someone to prove you wrong, or sink into the same muck as you so (ironically) you'll have company.  You absolve yourself of responsibility thinking it to be the lifting of a burden, rather than the loss of an opportunity to rise to a challenge.  You take the apparent disinterest of others in your plight as validation of your conceit.

Not me, nor you, nor anyone else is entitled to friendship just so.  It is earned.  Earning things takes work.  If you demand it, it will never be yours.  You are in a mental feedback loop that will only ever be broken when you look at the only person you can really, truly control - yourself.


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## Parabellum3 (Jul 12, 2021)

O.D.D. said:


> The fact that you're even participating in the thread tells me you're uncertain in your resignation to this idea, this abysmally dim view of people and socialization.  You have that tiny little voice bouncing around in your head - "what if you're wrong?"
> 
> And so you quibble and run in circles, just like this.  You dare someone to prove you wrong, or sink into the same muck as you so (ironically) you'll have company.  You absolve yourself of responsibility thinking it to be the lifting of a burden, rather than the loss of an opportunity to rise to a challenge.  You take the apparent disinterest of others in your plight as validation of your conceit.
> 
> Not me, nor you, nor anyone else is entitled to friendship just so.  It is earned.  Earning things takes work.  If you demand it, it will never be yours.  You are in a mental feedback loop that will only ever be broken when you look at the only person you can really, truly control - yourself.


Wow man. I'll tell you what, you'd make an excellent author!

In all seriousness though, I still have a couple of good reasons to be weary of every person that I meet. Whether you like it or not, there is a bit of evil in everyone, it's just differentiated by the quantity of it in an individual.

So that is why I adapted my kind of approach, but even that is not foolproof as people can be very stealthy and slithery like the snakes they could be.

Also keep in mind that I'm not automatically assuming that everyone is a traitor. I am simply expecting that they MIGHT be/become one eventually.


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## TyraWadman (Jul 12, 2021)

Parabellum3 said:


> Wow man. I'll tell you what, you'd make an excellent author!



Either you read his books or it's the huggywuggies for you.






_Choose wisely_​


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## Rayd (Jul 12, 2021)

i can relate to this a little bit, but i'm a little more self-blaming about it. i'm sure there's something wrong with me that makes people not want to associate with me, though i haven't been able to tell what that is for quite a long time, as a matter of fact i perceive myself as somewhat of an above average person both in kindness, selflessness, patience, tolerance and social decency. i never "expect" anything out of anybody, either. i can say without a shadow of a doubt though that my experiences in the furry fandom and internet communities in general have made me into an infinitely more pessimistic, timid and misanthropic person than i ever was. i'm not very vocal about it, and i'm not "mean" or lack accountability, i just don't really like talking to new people anymore due to the years and years i've spent alone and being treated like shit by people i was nothing but kind to.

i don't want to be looped into the whole "woe-is-me" boat that several other people in this thread seem to be treading towards but i've tried to go the positive route for a very long time and went above and beyond for countless people in this fandom that have either used me or outcasted me, to the point where nowadays, legitimately even the mere thought of socializing in this fandom immediately makes me deeply upset and sparks a depressive episode.

i subconsciously ghost people for weeks at a time, even if i like them, simply because i've wasted all of my social energy on people who didn't care and seriously cannot respond to people more than once or twice a day anymore. and that didn't just happen by itself.


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## O.D.D. (Jul 12, 2021)

TyraWadman said:


> Either you read his books or it's the huggywuggies for you.
> 
> 
> View attachment 116047
> _Choose wisely_​


I'm not published and possibly never will be.  Beside the point here, though.


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## Xitheon (Jul 12, 2021)

I am autistic, mentally ill, and severely lacking in socialisation.

I have decided to give up trying to please anyone and just be myself. I think I scare people. I tend to speak without thinking of the possible repercussions. Didn't someone once say that it is better to be hated for what you are than loved for what you are not? Or something like that?






The funny thing is, I've gone full circle. I was once innocent and trusting and didn't dream that anyone would ever hurt me. I was open and inviting and as unaware of danger as a dodo bird.

Since then, I've been hurt and had my trust broken so many times that I'm scared and I flinch if anyone even talks to me. 

"I've learned to be ashamed of all my scars."

I feel that.

But I'll open up and let them see me again. Life's too short to spend it all hiding away.


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## Parabellum3 (Jul 12, 2021)

Xitheon said:


> The funny thing is, I've gone full circle. I was once innocent and trusting and didn't dream that anyone would ever hurt me. I was open and inviting and as unaware of danger as a dodo bird.
> 
> Since then, I've been hurt and had my trust broken so many times that I'm scared and I flinch if anyone even talks to me.


This kinda proves my point right here. That’s why you must be careful who you’re interacting with and expect the worst outcome.


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## TyraWadman (Jul 12, 2021)

Parabellum3 said:


> This kinda proves my point right here. That’s why you must be careful who you’re interacting with and expect the worst outcome.


I don't expect the worst outcome, but I make sure I'm prepared if it happens. 


O.D.D. said:


> I'm not published and possibly never will be.  Beside the point here, though.


I know, I was just returning his sass with my own playfully obnoxious one.


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## MissNook (Jul 14, 2021)

@Rayd Maybe I'm wrong, but I feel like you're a bit like myself. Just gonna say some things that may not ring a bell at all, but hopefully it would help a bit.
I talked with different people on different place, but nowadays nearly all my contacts are on Discord. It became an issue for me. I sometimes want to talk only to my close friends, but on Discord I have also mere buddies, nice buddies, not-close friends and so on. They come to talk to me when I connect, since I'm not here that often. I began to feel tired, using energy to talk to them, since I want to be kind to them and I feel they may really need to talk to me. So now, I come to Discord only when I feel like I can take it. But for that part, it's kinda my own fault. I have to improve and be able to tell people I can't talk to them at the moment. It's not that easy, I have people relying on me and so on. 
So, the thing is, maybe you also need to do that. Be able to say to people you don't wish to talk at that moment. That way, you may be able to keep more energy and go back to more well-balanced relationship. Hope that helps!


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## Rayd (Jul 14, 2021)

MissNook said:


> @Rayd Maybe I'm wrong, but I feel like you're a bit like myself. Just gonna say some things that may not ring a bell at all, but hopefully it would help a bit.
> I talked with different people on different place, but nowadays nearly all my contacts are on Discord. It became an issue for me. I sometimes want to talk only to my close friends, but on Discord I have also mere buddies, nice buddies, not-close friends and so on. They come to talk to me when I connect, since I'm not here that often. I began to feel tired, using energy to talk to them, since I want to be kind to them and I feel they may really need to talk to me. So now, I come to Discord only when I feel like I can take it. But for that part, it's kinda my own fault. I have to improve and be able to tell people I can't talk to them at the moment. It's not that easy, I have people relying on me and so on.
> So, the thing is, maybe you also need to do that. Be able to say to people you don't wish to talk at that moment. That way, you may be able to keep more energy and go back to more well-balanced relationship. Hope that helps!


that's kind of the cruel nature of it, unfortunately. while a majority of the time i don't always have the energy to socialize with people, i still suffer the effects of loneliness and self-conscious paranoia when i don't talk to people for a proper amount of time. and when i do talk to those people i like, i still feel somewhat alone because i still feel distant to them from one speculated reason to another. it could just be in my head but i've just never felt like i have any reliable ability to connect with anybody no matter how compatible we seem to be, or how much they express liking me. i wish i knew what it was about me that causes me trouble with that. but i try my best not to look for answers obsessively.

so, yeah, i do take my breaks. but i don't take them very well emotionally. and even after those breaks i still have trouble socializing. it's a very complicated experience with equally as complicated feelings. i do appreciate your response, though.


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## MissNook (Jul 14, 2021)

@Rayd Your answer kinda makes me think that you don't meet those people in real life and that may be what's lacking. I know a lot of people on the net that I'm pretty sure I will never meet, cause we live in places really far from each other with no possibilities to meet, and it's okay with me, I like our talks and to learn things from them I could not in real-life (cause it's not like I can travel all around the world). But with the current situation with the Covid, I found that I felt more uneasy on the net, cause I missed the real-life interactions with my friends and family a lot. 

I don't take my breaks really well either, it's just a good thing I have so much things to do on my life that I don't feel that bad doing it. And I don't feel good socializing "too much" on the net or IRL. I often say to myself that I need my time to be by myself (or at least to be in a place I can be myself) but I also know that I need to keep socializing to train to be better at it. I become anxious if I don't meet people for a long time, so I'm careful to not let myself create my own isolation.
Do you like having only light chit-chat? Sometimes I feel like I always talk about serious stuff and I remember I can just chat about the weather or the last video I watched ^^


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## LameFox (Jul 14, 2021)

I think the biggest change I've noticed over the years is just finding people. Since we largely moved to social media or things like discord/telegram it seems like it's more difficult to locate communities than it used to be. On social media it's super easy to interact, but it's all very shallow and fleeting. I sometimes liken it to being in an airport: there are loads of people around you, but they're all just passing through. Elsewhere communities do exist but it's harder to look for them than it was when more people still actively used forums. The most accessible ones are mostly full of mid-teens, and I don't really want to socialize with people half my age. The others don't advertise and you only find them via some random link you come across watching a stream or something and it's hit and miss whether they're what you want or even active.


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## Rayd (Jul 14, 2021)

MissNook said:


> @Rayd Your answer kinda makes me think that you don't meet those people in real life and that may be what's lacking. I know a lot of people on the net that I'm pretty sure I will never meet, cause we live in places really far from each other with no possibilities to meet, and it's okay with me, I like our talks and to learn things from them I could not in real-life (cause it's not like I can travel all around the world). But with the current situation with the Covid, I found that I felt more uneasy on the net, cause I missed the real-life interactions with my friends and family a lot.
> 
> I don't take my breaks really well either, it's just a good thing I have so much things to do on my life that I don't feel that bad doing it. And I don't feel good socializing "too much" on the net or IRL. I often say to myself that I need my time to be by myself (or at least to be in a place I can be myself) but I also know that I need to keep socializing to train to be better at it. I become anxious if I don't meet people for a long time, so I'm careful to not let myself create my own isolation.
> Do you like having only light chit-chat? Sometimes I feel like I always talk about serious stuff and I remember I can just chat about the weather or the last video I watched ^^


i've never met anyone i've met online in real life before, so the two kind of just end up being separate from each other as different categories of my social life. i have my fair share of social interaction in real life, possibly even more than i get online, but it feels much of the same if not worse, since it feels like i can't really be myself in real life social situations. which sounds completely awful and backwards to say but i feel as if it's true.

i can relate to the anxiety. it's a weird thing for me where i go back and forth from wanting to be alone to feeling miserable from lack of socialization and isolation, so i force myself to make awkward conversation with the people i previously ghosted. and it very often seems as soon as i have one thing i want to go back to the other. but every time i take breaks i feel like i lose all progress made in connecting with the people i try to talk to regularly.

i do enjoy small talk. i like talking about music and media and stuff. i feel like that's the only sort of socialization that doesn't drain me super fast.


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## Sven Solitude (Aug 2, 2021)

Rayd said:


> since it feels like i can't really be myself in real life social situations. which sounds completely awful and backwards to say but i feel as if it's true.


I know what you mean... Can't say I made many experiences in real life, but we should never stop being ourselves. Either the right people will come along or not. But if they do, they will like us for who we really are.

My "problem" is that I don't have many chances to meet people in real life, since I live in a smaller village. I like to go to the "nature", but those ain't things or locations others are interested in, even near a town. I basically have those places to myself. Which is nice and relaxing, but not so great to meet people. I don't think it would make sense for me to visit a pub or club, there is nothing I like about it. Nothing. I believe that I can only meet similar people while I do something that I love. Creating art for example. Doing something that I love and the hope to meet people who like the same thing(s).
I'm glad that the internet is a thing. I don't want to move away, I like my home. Being online is the only way for me to meet people.
It's just weird when I travel to a city or other crowded places. Most people are busy with their devices. So I guess it's lonely everywhere. There is just the hope to find the few right people eventually. :')



LameFox said:


> On social media it's super easy to interact, but it's all very shallow and fleeting.


True. I made the same experiences with Chat Rooms and Discord too. The best experiences that I made were in forums. Or private conversations on Discord. Not many people seem interested in deeper conversations, even privately, but it's always nice when it somehow happens.

I think I struggle the most with quiet people and especially negative (or toxic) ones. The irony is that I turn quiet too, when the topics do not interest me. It's easier to be quiet in real life, there is body language and all that. But online? It's hard to understand what exactly it means. Is he just shy? Or not interested? Most of the time it seems like the latter, to be honest. And I just don't want to annoy anyone, so I just let it be.
There was a point where I tried to accept anyone in my life, never exluding anyone. But this quickly turned out to be not working. Ironically, I met a super toxic person then who was also a bad liar. :'D I became a very positive person myself over the years, I don't even complain about my own struggles. Being positive or negative is a choice, in my experience. So I don't see the point in being negative, I only live once and want to try my best.

@MissNook 
It makes sense what you said about Discord and everything. :3 Some people already have a lot of friends and not much time in general, for various reasons. I vanished in the past, because I felt like a burden to those. Unfortunately, I did this a few times... To me it's a *godsend *to finally find one person who likes me or wants to spend time with me or just talk to me. But I become too clingy, I'm just so happy then. I notice I ask for too much, for too much time and feel bad or guilty about it.
In my position, I needed to learn to be happy alone first, so I wouldn't ask for too much anymore, especially from nice people who are usually busy. Then I was able to just appreciate the shorter moments together, without exerting pressure.
Some people are just so wonderful, of course everyone wants to spend time with them. 

My biggest regret is definitely me "giving up". It only leads to nothing and emptiness. Not gonna do that anymore. :'3


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