# Got a furry story? Post it here!



## thebeast76 (Jul 9, 2008)

Do you have a furry story that you wrote, but didn't get any critique or advice on how to improve your story? Post it here! 
All we ask is that you keep it PG-13. 
That means sexual acts are okay, but don't go into gross detail about it. Sexual themes and language are alright as well.


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## M. LeRenard (Jul 9, 2008)

I believe we already have a thread that serves this purpose....
Unless I'm missing something.
http://forums.furaffinity.net/showthread.php?t=14238


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## makmakmob (Jul 9, 2008)

The critique thread is for posting links to stories on FA, whereas in this one you post the literary works themselves, I think.


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## thebeast76 (Jul 9, 2008)

makmakmob said:


> The critique thread is for posting links to stories on FA, whereas in this one you post the literary works themselves, I think.



Exactly. You post the whole story, not the link to it. It's kind of a furry story archive, I guess.
I'll post my furry story, if you want.
It's a sci-fi action story...


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## TakeWalker (Jul 9, 2008)

thebeast76 said:


> Exactly. You post the whole story, not the link to it. It's kind of a furry story archive, I guess.
> I'll post my furry story, if you want.
> It's a sci-fi action story...



It's called FurAffinity. Please have some patience.


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## thebeast76 (Jul 9, 2008)

TakeWalker said:


> It's called FurAffinity. Please have some patience.



Well, what I see the problem is, because FA is down a lot, people don't always have access to the stories, plus, when all you can see is a thumbnail, you could miss out on your target audience. Besides, you could probably get a lot more hits and critique if you put it on here, albeit temporarily.


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## Phoenixwildfire (Jul 9, 2008)

so... you post the text here, or the link to them on another site?

I have a story of my own, but it's pretty long :/ it's currently in its 5th chapter.


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## thebeast76 (Jul 9, 2008)

Phoenixwildfire said:


> so... you post the text here, or the link to them on another site?
> 
> I have a story of my own, but it's pretty long :/ it's currently in its 5th chapter.



The text.
You can go chapter by chapter, or post the whole thing. if you do post the whole thing, do this:
 at the beginning type size=1 in brackets then at the end type /size in brackets. It makes the text smaller, like this:
Jackdaws love my big sphinx of quartz.


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## Phoenixwildfire (Jul 9, 2008)

I'll post it chapter by chapter  it will make more sense that way, there are breaks in the plot between chapters.

So here's the prologue:

            Ch. 1- The Discovery

Sitting in a cozy beanbag chair, Althea was thinking about her weekend. She was off from college for about a week for spring vacation, and in Michigan the week was blessedly warm. Having brown hair and light blue eyes, she was often seen as plain looking by all but her friends. She had a fun-loving personality, but deep down she knew that she was always sad and had a very low confidence. She looked back down at the drawing she had been working on and sighed when she saw mistakes she had made, but it was too late to fix them. Others thought her drawing skills were good, but she thought they were mediocre at best, but as the old saying goes, the artist is often the worst critic. Not wanting to sit around all weekend, she stood up and packed a backpack full of various things to bring with her as she thought of which of her old friendâ€™s houses to visit. She had lived in this area her entire life, so all of her friends were people she had known for at least 12 years, if not more. At the age of 19, she was a sophomore in college, and hadnâ€™t seen anyone from high school for over 3 months. She wondered how everyone was doing as she walked down the steps from the upstairs bedroom to the living room, picking up her iPod from the table and clipping it to the pocket of her jeans. After telling her mother where she would be going, she got onto her bike and pedaled down the neighborhood. Spring was always the most cheerful of months in Michigan, after the deep freeze of winter plants started to come back to life and animals woke from a long hibernation. Birds celebrated the new beginnings in loud songs that echoed through the state and only increased the happiness of the residents. She looked down the road at the construction sites lining the opposite side of the road and scoffed at the ugly piles of dirt that took away the beauty of the surrounding area. The business districts of the area were growing, and with it the cost of land. Neighborhoods were being overtaken by businesses and traffic as construction sites grew in number around her familyâ€™s house. Althea shook her head in dismay, but knew she was powerless to stop growth. After passing the intimidating heavy machinery that sat asleep beside the already raised metal bars, she finally reached Stephanieâ€™s house after only a few minutes of riding. She parked her bike and walked up to the porch to see Stephanie open the door with a bright smile. 
â€œAlthea! Oh my god, itâ€™s so good to see you!â€ She motioned Althea to come in, who laughed at Stephanieâ€™s enthusiasm. She walked through the house with a bright smile; Stephanie leading her into what she knew was the kitchen. She looked around her at the rich browns and tans of the dÃ©cor and walked up a small set of stairs to see a man sitting in the kitchen already. It wasnâ€™t Stephanieâ€™s father though; it was a much younger man she didnâ€™t recognize. He wasnâ€™t as young as Stephanie, but was probably a few years older than her. Althea looked at Stephanie with a raised eyebrow in question. Stephanie giggled innocently and walked over to the man, hugging him around the neck happily.
â€œThis is Alec, my boyfriend. Heâ€™s an electrician I met at work.â€ She said, ruffling his hair. He made a sound of protest and smoothed down his jet black hair, standing to greet Althea with a smile. 
â€œNice to meet you, Stephâ€™s told me all about you.â€ He said, shaking Altheaâ€™s hand politely. She looked at him skeptically, wondering how old he actually _was_. He seemed as if he were in his upper 20â€™s, far too old for Stephanieâ€™s 18. Sheâ€™d have to watch out for Stephanie with this guy. 
They broke the handshake, and Althea looked nervously around the room, not really knowing what to do. She had been without a boyfriend for about half a year now, and was still healing a broken heart. He had used her and dumped her in the usual shallow way, wanting only a girlfriend to say she was â€˜his girlâ€™ until he found another victim. She had been crushed, thinking he had actually been sincere in his many â€˜I love youâ€™ and â€˜youâ€™re so prettyâ€™. But it had all been an illusion, and she had fallen for it.
Building a mental wall so that her emotions wouldnâ€™t seep into her outward appearance, Althea looked again at Alec and braced herself for the horrible green envy that uncontrollably filled her. Stephanie had rarely had a boyfriend their entire time growing up, and now she had a very handsome older guy who could take care of her very well. 
Stephanie saw Althea building her mental walls and knew what it meant. After nearly 5 years of being best friends, they could read each otherâ€™s body language almost perfectly. 
â€œAnywayâ€¦ Did you need anything, Althea?â€ Stephanie said, trying to change the conversation so Althea would be more comfortable. 
â€œYeah, I came to give you back your book you let me borrow, it was really good, and thanks for letting me borrow it.â€ Althea said quietly, reaching into her backpack and bringing out one of the two books she had brought with her. 
â€œNo problem.â€ Stephanie said, taking the book and watching as Althea leaned down to zip back up her bag. â€œIâ€™ll call you tonight, alright?â€ She said, wanting to talk to Althea about what was wrong, but not wanting to say it in front of Alec.
Althea understood and nodded, hoisting her backpack back over her shoulder, saying goodbye to both Stephanie and Alec and walked back out of the house, her mind buzzing with sad memories. Oh, how she wished those memories would go away!
She walked down the road and into one of the construction sites. She always liked to go through the upturned soil throughout these sites and find interesting objects like shiny rocks and antiques. She looked in the direction of a particularly shining object and gasped in surprise when she realized it looked like silver! She walked over to the strange object and dusted the thin layer of dirt from on top of it, revealing a strange silver carving. It looked as if it were ancient, the silver tarnished and the carvings worn away. She examined the carvings themselves and found that it was the recreation of a battle. Two sites faced each other with bared weapons, One side human being led by a woman, and the other a strange type of being that looked to be a mix of human and all sorts of different animals, leg by a human-tiger creature, baring a long sword. She turned the carvings in her hand, seeing that the strange creatures had human-like faces, except for their nostrils were that of an animalâ€™s and the ears on the sides of their head were that of an animal as well. Their feet were actually large paws, and it looked as if they all stood on their toes, although Althea knew that this was normal for an animal anatomy. She flipped the mirror over, wiping the dust away from the shining surface of the glass. The surface swirled with smoke as she looked at her own image, which appeared, was clouded by smoke, then reappeared again. Her head pounded as if something was pushing on her temples, and her eyesight blurred into swirls of darkness and random colors, making her close her eyes in pain. Her hair whipped around her face as wind blew around her, and all faded into darknessâ€¦


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## Phoenixwildfire (Jul 9, 2008)

Chapter 2: The Meeting

â€œHey- are you alright?â€ a deep male voice said through the haze of Altheaâ€™s clouded senses. She opened her eyes slowly, only to see a strange creature looking at her inches from her face. She glanced over his strange cat-like features, and the small coating of soft orange and black striped fur, making her realize this must be a tiger of some sort- but with a human-like face. She stood perfectly still for a moment as the strange being watched her with bright green eyes, the cat ears sprouting from his brown hair raised in curiosity. 
Althea let out a long scream of surprise, hoping the thing would leave her alone from such a noise, but he only flinched and covered his ears, glaring at her. 
â€œWhat the hell is your problem?â€ He yelled, rubbing his ears to make them stop ringing. â€œYou were unconscious when I found you, so I just wanted to make sure youâ€™re alright! Gods, my ears!â€ He growled, finally taking his hands away from his head, but his ears were now lowered in annoyance. 
â€˜What is he- a cat? Or a human of some sort?â€™ Althea thought to herself as she looked at his very human-like features and attitude. â€œWhat are you?â€ She asked softly, trying to make sense of things. 
â€œWhat do you mean â€˜what am Iâ€™? Iâ€™m a humanus- duh.â€ He said, rolling his eyes with a smirk. Althea looked him over, seeing his upper body was very human-like, but instead of feet he had two large paws and a long tail that was slashing the air behind him as he waited for her reaction. Did he say he was human?
â€œYou are so not human.â€ Althea said warily, noticing his green eyes flash in anger. 
â€œNot human, humanus!â€ The creature hissed, its ears lowering again in anger. â€œFilthy stinking creatures, those humans.â€ He mumbled, looking away from her as he said it.
â€œHey- what have you got against humans?â€ Althea said defensively. She had never heard someone insult the entire human race before, and it struck a bad cord in her. 
â€œLetâ€™s see, maybe because theyâ€™re trying to kill my entire race?â€ The cat-like creature hissed, his fangs flashing as he bared his teeth. 
â€œWhat?â€ Althea gasped in shock, hoping that he wasnâ€™t thinking she would want to try and kill anyone. 
The creature sighed, and closed his eyes in frustration. 
â€œThe humans and humanus have been at war for nearly 50 years now. Before the war started, humans and humanus lived side by side peacefully. We even fought together in battles against enemies, and traded goods to each other. There were even people that went so far as to fall in love and have children between the races, making a sub-race called the â€˜fursoâ€™. Unfortunately, once the war started, they were the first to be killed. It all started when for some reason the queen began thinking of us as â€˜monstersâ€™, more instinctive than intelligent. Soon the opinion started to spread throughout the kingdoms, and people thought that they should be the first to act against us, lest we try and kill them on sight. My uncle was one of the first humanus to be killed by humans that thought of us as â€˜rabid beastsâ€™, and weâ€™ve been fighting ever since.â€
â€œThatâ€™s terrible.â€ Althea said, looking up at the tiger-being as he looked at the ground uneasily. 
â€œYes, wellâ€¦â€ he looked back up at her, and looked her up and down, his ears raising again in curiosity. â€œWhere are you from anyway? You have strange clothes.â€
â€œIâ€™m from Michigan. Itâ€™s only a t-shirt and jeans.â€ she said, looking down at her outfit. 
â€œMi-shee-gin? Is that some rural human town or something? Iâ€™ve never heard of it.â€
â€œSort of.â€ Althea smirked, knowing that Michigan was one of the more rural states in America. â€œWhere am I, anyway?â€
Ah, youâ€™re in the Tora kingdom of Sanrou.â€ The creature smiled. 
Althea looked around her in shock. Another world? No streets or sidewalks? No cars or schools? â€œNO SHOPPING MALLS?â€ she yelled in shock, and looked at the ground for the mirror to get back to her own world, but found it shattered on the ground. She was stuck in this world now, never to return. 
â€œWow, youâ€™re pretty excitable, arenâ€™t you?â€ The creature smirked wryly, but turned uneasy when she started to look depressed, a small sniff sounding from her. â€œUh- hey, donâ€™t cry.â€ he said anxiously. Althea thought of how her family and friends would think she was dead if she didnâ€™t get back soon. Everyone would forget about her and move on, like she had never existed. She sobbed softly, making the being step back in frustration.
â€œOh great. Nice, Toran. You made her cry.â€ He muttered to himself as he wondered how he could calm her down. He hated seeing females cry, no matter if they were human or humanus. He frantically looked around, trying to get her to stop crying, and realizing that he didnâ€™t even know her name. He looked down at the mirror on the ground, remembering that she had started crying when she saw it. 
â€œYou know, this can be fixed.â€ He said, looking at the shattered glass. â€œThe panel can be replaced.â€
â€œNo, you donâ€™t get it.â€ Althea sniffed and wiped her eyes. â€œI picked up that mirror and wound up here somehow. Now that itâ€™s broken I canâ€™t go back home.â€
â€œYou traveled through this thing?â€ Toran looked at her in shock, trying to figure out how she would fit through such a small space. He thought for a minute, before remembering a story from his childhood. 
â€œI think Iâ€™ve heard of something like this before.â€ Toran said, trying to remember how the story went. 
â€œOh yeah- my father told me when I was very young. A human man traveled through a mirror from another world, and had to try and find a way back home. I donâ€™t remember all the details thoughâ€¦ We could always go to the library and check, I was on my way there anyway.â€
â€œReally?â€ Althea said hopefully, wiping the rest of her tears from her eyes. She was so glad she had found someone helpful. It sounded like this world was pretty dangerous.
â€œSure, why not? My nameâ€™s Toran by the way.â€ he said, smiling down at her. She was a lot shorter than him, probably a good three feet. Then again, he was pretty tall, even for a humanus.
â€œIâ€™m Althea. Hey- can I ask why you were traveling to the library anyway? Are you going to get a book?â€
â€œOh, no. Iâ€™m gathering as many humanus as I can to make an army to fight the humans. The battleâ€™s getting pretty bad, and more humanus are dying than humans at this point.â€ He said, looking at her sadly before perking up his ears. â€œAlright then, to the library!â€ He said, trying to change the subject. He looked around uneasily, wondering which way the library actually wasâ€¦ â€œNorth, then.â€ He said, starting to walk in the direction he had pointed. Althea watched him walk off, biting her lip nervously as she wondered if he knew the right way or not.
â€œCome on!â€ He called behind his shoulder, and she ran to catch up with Toran.


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## Phoenixwildfire (Jul 9, 2008)

Chapter 3- The Librarian

            Meanwhileâ€¦

In a dark room of a castle, two pillars of strangely red flames burned on either side of a silver throne. Sitting in the throne was a tall woman, her face shadowed as she looked down at the two younger people kneeling before her.
â€œI have gathered you two here for a purpose.â€ The queen said, her voice hinting at an edge of anger. 
â€œYes, your majesty?â€ The two younger humans said in unison, their identical brown hair and blue eyes looking up at the queen apprehensively. 
â€œRain, Sei, rumor has told that the Humanus prince has left the safety of his castle.â€
â€œWhat a fool.â€ The man, Sei, laughed, shaking his head in amazement of the humanusâ€™ stupidity.
â€œIndeed.â€ Rain agreed, a sly smile creeping across her face. â€œWould you like us to kill him, your majesty?â€ She said in offering, and bowed her head politely. 
â€œYes, kill him before he gathers others to him and creates a formidable force. The humanus must not be underestimated.â€ 
The twins nodded and stood up, walking backwards out of the room, as was the custom of avoiding dishonor by showing their backs to the queen. When they finally reached the door, they turned around and began walking down the paved pathway into the city. 
â€œFinally sister, a mission for us to focus on.â€ Sei said happily, running a hand thoughtfully on the tattoo on the side of his face, a series of triangles bordered by a straight line on either side of the row, crossing his eye to his brow and to his chin. It was a testament of the training he had undergone in order to be a warrior of the kingdom.
â€œYes, my brother, but one humanus will not be much of a battle. Letâ€™s wait and strike when the time is right.â€ Rain said, the long tails of her red bandanna trailing behind her as she took her halberd from her back and settled it more comfortably against her shoulders. Sei smiled in agreement and they walked into the city, heading west toward what was left of the humanus kingdoms.

Toran looked around in confusion, seeing nothing but green rolling hills in all directions. Had he taken the wrong way?
â€œAre you sure you know where weâ€™re going?â€ Althea said skeptically. 
â€œOf course I do.â€ Toran said, his voice sounding defensive even to his own ears. He looked away from Althea to hide his uneasy expression, hoping that he would be able to get a map at the library as well, so he could find out whether or not he was heading in the right direction. He started walking toward the east, hoping it was the direction that the last standing humanus library was in.
Two hours of walking later, Toran grinned in satisfaction when he saw the tall towers of the library in the distance. â€œYes, the library!â€ he cheered in triumph, and opened the large oak door into the large brick building housing row upon row of shelves, each filled with books. He started at the beginning of the alphabet to try and find the story of the last traveler through the mirror, running his clawed finger along the titles as he searched. 
â€œMust be around the corner.â€ He muttered to himself when he found no traces of it in that shelf. He rounded the corner and stopped in his tracks at the sight of a large pile of an amazing variety of weapons in front of him.
â€œI wonder who these belong to? They must be a great warrior.â€ Toran said quietly, looking down at the weapons with an expression of shock
â€œThose would be mine, â€˜strangerâ€™.â€ A light voice said from behind him, making Toran twirl around in alarm, but smile when he saw the black panther humanus smiling up at him. They braced forearms in a friendly greeting. 
â€œXicro, long time no see.â€ Toran said, looking down at the face of his shorter, childhood friend. 
â€œLikewise, Toran. Youâ€™ve grown too much.â€ Xicro laughed, making Toranâ€™s grin widen. 
â€œSo, what have you been up to?â€ Toran said, releasing Xicroâ€™s grip as Althea looked on in confusion.
Xicro shrugged, his smile innocent. â€œOh you know, fighting for my lifeâ€¦ the usual.â€ He chuckled.
Althea sighed, not able to stand the confusion any longer. She looked at Toran with an annoyance. â€œMind telling me who this is?â€ She said, and Xicro looked over at her, as if noticing her for the first time, his expression turning to one of shocked nervousness.
â€œToran, whatâ€™s with the human? Should I be alarmed?â€ Xicro said, his ears flipped back apprehensively as he looked at Althea. 
â€œEhâ€¦ no. No reason to be alarmed, sheâ€™s sort of the reason I came here. Have you heard of the legend of a human coming from a mirror?â€ Toran said, looking embarrassed. 
â€œOf course I have, Iâ€™m a librarian.â€ Xicro rolled his eyes.
â€œYeahâ€¦ Sheâ€™s like that, only for real.â€ Toran said, pointing toward Althea. 
â€œReally?â€ Xicroâ€™s ears perked up in curiosity, and he walked over to Althea, poking her gently on the cheek. â€œYep, sheâ€™s real.â€ He said, a bright grin covering his face to show he was joking. 
â€œWhat a relief.â€ Althea said sarcastically, but couldnâ€™t help but smile as well.
Xicro sighed, his expression turning serious. â€œLet me guess, you want to try and find a way back to her world?â€
â€œYep.â€ Toran nodded.
â€œThat may be difficult.â€ Xicro walked over to a shelf and looked at the letters on the label before walking over three rows and bringing a book back, reading it as he walked. He stopped in front of Toran, looking up at him and Althea. â€œAccording to the story, the guy who came through the mirror never went back home. He stayed in Sanrou, andâ€¦â€ He looked down at the book in shock. â€œWell this canâ€™t be right.â€ Xicro looked up uneasily to Toran before continuing to read. â€œIt says here he married the human queen and started the war against the humanus.â€ Xicro let out a low hiss of anger and closed the book. â€œApparently he thought that since we werenâ€™t God-made, weâ€™re abominations of nature.â€
â€œGreat, well unfortunately, that explains a lot.â€ Toran sighed, shaking his head in disbelief.
â€œWaitâ€¦ what do you mean â€˜not God-made?â€ Althea looked at Xicro in confusion.
â€œHumanus were made by humans.â€ Xicro said simply with a shrug.
â€œWhat?!â€ Althea said in shock, looking to Toran, who nodded in agreement.
â€œWizards wanted to make their pets and familiars more intelligent to help them in their studies and help make them not so lonely, but they made us a little too intelligent.â€ Xicro continued.
â€œWe rose up against them, and made our own kingdoms. Who wants to be a pet of some old guy in a tower?â€ Toran said, his grin revealing the large fangs in his teeth.
Althea still looked at them in shock, and Xicro smiled softly, chuckling. â€œIâ€™ll explain some more for you. There are two kingdoms, the Okami kingdom, whose prince is the white wolf Jan, and the Tora kingdom.â€ Xicro grinned slyly and pointed to Toran. â€œWhoâ€™s prince is Toran, here.â€ 
Toran froze and looked at Althea uneasily as she raised her eyebrows in surprise. â€œWait- Toranâ€™s a prince?â€ she said in amazement.
â€œDid you have to tell her?â€ Toran growled to Xicro, who only laughed.
â€œYes.â€ He said happily. Toran shook his head and was glad his fur hid the blush he could feel running over his cheeks as Althea leaned closer to him.
â€œSo you really are a prince?â€ she said, blinking in surprise.
â€œYes, even though thereâ€™s not much to be a prince of, lately.â€ Toran sighed, and perked his ears up as he remembered why he had wanted to see Xicro. â€œSpeaking of which- Itâ€™s time to take your whip out, Xicro. Weâ€™re going to battle soon and I need you to come along with me, my friend.â€ Toran said, his voice grim. 
â€œOoh, I get to kick some bad guy butt?â€ Xicro said eagerly, and dashed toward the back room between two shelves of books. 
â€œHeâ€™s a little too happy to have the chance to hurt someone.â€ Althea said uneasily, watching as Xicro came back out of the room with a long chain of metal rods looped around his shoulder. 
â€œThatâ€™s what makes him such a good warrior. He loves the heat of battle.â€ Toran said, and nodded in satisfaction at the sight of Xicroâ€™s infamous metal whip. 
â€œAlright then, I suppose Iâ€™ll leave Jaque in charge of the library. Heâ€™ll do fine.â€ Xicro said, and looked down to Althea. â€œIâ€™m sorry I misjudged you earlier. After being around humans that want to kill me for so long, I forgot that not all of them are so hostile.â€ Xicro said, his yellow eyes bright as he looked down at her, pushing a wild lock of black hair from in front of his eyes. 
â€œNo problem.â€ Althea said happily, and patted Xicro reassuringly on the shoulder. Xicro smiled in relief and walked with Toran out the door of the library, winding the whip around his shoulders and waist to free up his arms as he walked.


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## Poetigress (Jul 9, 2008)

thebeast76 said:


> Well, what I see the problem is, because FA is down a lot, people don't always have access to the stories,



Since, of course, there aren't any other sites, furry or otherwise, to post one's stories on... >9_9<



> plus, when all you can see is a thumbnail, you could miss out on your target audience.



That's what that description box is for.  And the tags.

*shakes head*  Oh, well.  MLR, we might as well give up on the critique thread since everyone is either not seeing it or ignoring it (and very few are critting others' work from it anyway, by your reports)...


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## Le_DÃ©mon_Sans_Visage (Jul 9, 2008)

No one can find the critique thread in the mass of stickies.


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## TakeWalker (Jul 10, 2008)

thebeast76 said:


> Well, what I see the problem is, because FA is down a lot, people don't always have access to the stories, plus, when all you can see is a thumbnail, you could miss out on your target audience. Besides, you could probably get a lot more hits and critique if you put it on here, albeit temporarily.



And when FA goes back up, we'll have access again.

The way I see it is this. We've got a perfectly good site for posting stories, and a perfectly good thread for giving and getting critique from an expanded audience. If you want to go about making a new thread for posting stories, or suggesting that we post stories to another site, then that undermines the usefulness of both FA and the critique thread. If you're going to post your stories on another site, then necessarily, the users of that other site are going to read them. If you post them here, it just makes for a lengthy, cluttered thread, as is already evidenced.

Patience is not known as a virtue for no reason. The site will be back up. I'm waiting to post a whole bunch of stories myself.


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## Poetigress (Jul 10, 2008)

Le_DÃ©mon_Sans_Visage said:


> No one can find the critique thread in the mass of stickies.



And we've asked to have most of those removed--more than once, I believe--and nothing has happened.  *shrug*

(ETA: If anyone's reading this who has the power to do anything about it, IMO the critique thread, the "attention beginners: common errors thread," and the "looking for writers" thread should be stickied.  I'd say everything else can go back to being a regular thread, unless anyone else thinks there are more that should stay up there, like maybe the new writer advice-type ones.)


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## makmakmob (Jul 10, 2008)

perhaps we should create a subforum for writer advice? (like the fursona one in 'the den')


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## Xipoid (Jul 10, 2008)

makmakmob said:


> perhaps we should create a subforum for writer advice? (like the fursona one in 'the den')




That would make sense.


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## Project_X (Jul 10, 2008)

http://forums.furaffinity.net/showthread.php?t=22811
Already have a thread. Reading the bold is the only important part.
I don't even have a title....>>;


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## sablelieger (Jul 11, 2008)

Well, hope you like this; if you guys are into military stuff and can decipher technical names and nomenclatures; then "HERE TOY GO!"

*Ballad Of The Widowmakers*
*By Sablelieger*​ 
SCENE: AERIAL SHOT OF A LARGE METROPOLIS.

SCENE 2: ROOFTOP OF A BUILDING OVERLOOKING THE CITY â€“ Satellite City 29, population 3.5 million inhabitants; a combination of human and anthro inhabitants that live in harmony, much like your typical large metropolitan city in the US. The city is full of life; people going about their lives in peace, Satellite City is far from the perfect utopian cityâ€¦

But is better than what is on the other side of the wall.

SCENE 3: Panoramic view of the devastated city that surrounds "Satellite City 29"; beyond the massive steel and concrete walls that surround the city is the "Old World". The remains of a large metropolitan city, the city was devastated by nuclear war, and now is nothing but a decrepit shell of itself. The new city is surrounded by mountains of jagged concrete, twisted metal and shattered glass that jut out of the gound like a twisted forest of devastation against the desolate landscape.

SCENE 4: Most inhabitants died on the first nuclear strikes, the survivors either left the city to the safety of other cities and towns to the North and to the West or stayed behind, refusing to give up their homes and lives to the unstoppable onslaught of war. Those that stayed behind either died of radiation exposure, starvation, disease or from the roving bands of scavengers and mercenaries that roamed the countryside afterwards. The entire region became a desolate landscape where all rules of civilization were cast aside and where the law of the wild became the law of the land.

Despite the military's valiant effort to defend the city and stem the tide of lawlessness, they were forced to retreat amidst massive civilian and military casualties; leaving but one combined arms division behind to shoulder the load as the rest of the Army and Marines pushed outwards to link up with surviving elements and continue the fight. Those left behind built Satellite City 29 as a military garrison to defend the region from any outside attacks; as the years went by, the garrison grew in size into a fortress, a refuge from the savagery and carnage of the outside world. The brave men and women that endured were hailed as heroes and thanks to their sacrifice, the city became a glimer of hope, a beacon of life and prosperity in a sea of desolation and suffering.

As the city grew in size, so did the population and the need for an effective defense force was created; the division that once fought to maintain order in the city in those early years, became a self-sufficient governing force that maintained order and strived to provide the citizens with all possible civil services while maintainign a high state of readiness. The city government was divided into both military and civilian sectorsd, responsible for the management and running of all daily operations inside the walls.

Those lucky enough to live inside, live in a seemingly normal world; they work, live, play and go about their lives with little regard for what happened beyond the walls decades ago; sometimes, if you pay attention, you can still hear the thunder of explosions and machine gun fire in the distance, carried off by the winds; the guardians atop the city's impregnable walls can see the flashes of light in the distance and sometimes cringe at the thought of what could be happening beyond the walls they protect, but they stand steadfast, ready to defend their city and those inside.

SCENE 4: A cloaked figure stares into the distance; the lights of Satellite City 29, shining brightly into the skies above, seemingly cutting through the darkness of a dead world. The figure cradles an M4A1 SOPMOD Carbine with 
a shortened M203 grenade launcher, along with an AN/PAQ-4 IR pointer and a rail-mounted flashlight with IR filters on it. He stands atop a skyscraper looking into the jagged landscape below. the smell of ash and smoke fills his nostrils and the dampness of the air that surrounds him weighs his body down like a million hands, but he is accustomed to it; he's been around for a while and knows his surroundings well.

He was one of the original soldiers that stayed behind during the war; just a private in his late teens, he lost his parents in that city and vowed to stay in that city to his dying day; now an officer and a platoon leader, his commitment remains just as strong as before. He pulls down his Shemagh, revealing his face; he takes a deep breath and then exhales, a cloud of warm steam exits his mouth, turning visible with the frigid air around him.

Alex (to himself):
So much devastation... So much sorrow.. So much anger and so much pain...

Alex then raises his hand and looks at the partially scorched picture of an unknown man, with his wife and child by his side; he seems so contempt with his life.. So happy and carefree; then he looks at the landscape that surrounds him and wonders if this man is even alive today; what happened to him and his family? What was going through his head the moment the war came crashing through his little world? Did he die first? Did his wife and child die first? Did he kill himself afterwards? Did he die with his family?

I guess he'll never know...

Alex:
Ashes to ashes... Dust to dust.

then Alex tosses the scorched picture out the window and watches it as the winds carry it away, disappearing into the darkness below. He takes one last look at the landscape that surrounds him and pulls the Shemagh over his face before turning around and walking away from the window as thunder is heard in the distance.

SCENE 5: The figure walks back into the building and meets with a group of soldiers, dressed in similar fashion to him; a mix of different anthro soldiers of multiple species, but with a common goal, to defend their city. the team has taken a break from a long patrol over the buffer zone and they are checking their gear and weapons, reloading their magazines and adjusting their gear while their radio man monitor's radio chatter between them and the city. The team is a recon element that was put into the buffer zone several days ago to monitor activity around the ruins and to clear zones for expansion.

Sean:
Teamâ€™s assembled; we monitored radio traffic and we heard that thereâ€™s an enemy patrol in the business district, probably heading in this direction.

Alex:
Alright; weâ€™ll follow an intercept and see what theyâ€™re up to.

Alex (to his men):
Okay, ladies. Lock and load, check your mags, secure your equipment and make sure you guys have enough water and rations. The extraction ships will be online in 9 hours, so we have to make a further sweep of the business district before we head home. Hooah?

Soldiers:
Hooah!

Alex:
All right; letâ€™s do it.

Sean:
and for God's sake, please be careful out there...

Percy (slinging his M107 over his shoulders):
Careful? If I wanted to be careful; I would've joined the Air Force instead.

The soldiers laugh and chuckle as they check their weapons before heading out again.

Our Sniper Team is comprised by Corporal Percival "Percy" Jones and Private First Class Maxwell "Max" Robbins; Percy is a tough Anthro Timber Wolf that was raised in the mountains if Colorado, just outside of Boulder; Mac is a no-nonsense Anthro Lynx that hails from the North Side of Chicago, Illinois. Our radio man, Specialist 4th Class Randy "Mitch" Mitchell is an anthro jaguar and a US Navy Signal Specialist from Thieveries, Florida; he is the team's electronic's wizard and a master with a circuit board.

Radio Man:
Tower Watch, this is Alpha Team; we are moving out into sector 4.

Soldier (manning a heavily fortified bunker on the cityâ€™s north perimeter):
Copy that Alpha Team; we have your back.
Soldiers man the wallâ€™s defensive position; a combination of heavy caliber guns, rocket launchers and plasma cannons that ring the entire perimeter of the city; nearly 95 miles of solid armored bunkers and gun batteries, bristling with high tech weapons and command and control stations. Meanwhile, the patrol moves thorough mountains of jagged concrete and steel, through buildings and through cratered streets, even underneath them through sewers and subway lines; they patrol the streets for signs of enemy activity and of life. 

Hours pass and no enemy contact; to them, is a cat and mouse game, where the team hunts the enemy and the enemy hunts them. Then Alex looks up as he hears thunder in the distance; the skies are dark and gray and he takes a deep breath and can feel the humid air in his nose and in his mouth.

Sean (walking up to Alex):
Something wrong?

Alex:
Is going to rain.

Sean:
Man, I hate it when it rains.

Alex:
You kidding me? I love rain; best damn thing out there; it cools down the air; is way too hot to be walking around all dressed up like this. I, for one enjoy the rain.

Alex nods and the patrol moves on; it doesn't take long before rain lashes the barren landscape; the rain is hard and constant and it pounds the patrol as they slog through the city, still patrolling the city. The soldiers move diligently, trying to ignore the fact that they are wet, tired and hungry.

Alex radios in their position and he decides to take refuge in an abandoned building nearby, so that the team can rest, so he designates a large 7 story building across the street from their position as their stopping point; so the team goes inside and sweeps the building from top to bottom. The building, one of many that survived the bombings and is still standing provides shelter from the rain and it's location is perfect to set up an OP.

Alex (after making a sweep of the entire building):
Okay, we'll setup camp here for now, until the rain stops; change your socks and dry up. Percy; you and Mac set up an OP on the top floor and keep your eyeballs open for any enemy movement along the perimeter.

Alex pulls out a map from his chest rig and opens it; he finds the location of the building.

Alex:
I want you guys to concentrate here (points to an area on the map) and here (an additional point on the map); the bridge across the park is still standing and it looks like it can support heavy armor, so if anybody wants to move armor through the city, they'll use that bridge, so keep an eye on that, okay?

Percy (carrying an M107 sniper rifle):
We'll do, boss. (to Mac) Come on...

Alex:
If you guys see heavy armor, don't fire back; they might not know we are here, and I want to keep it that way; maintain a low profile and we'll put air cover on that bridge, got it?

Mac and Percy nod and then they take their gear upstairs and set their observation position on the top floor of the building. They scan the terrain using range finding binoculars and maintain a vigil of the sector from above. Meanwhile not too far away on the lower floor, the team stops to take a break from their patrol; the team drops their heavy gear and change into dry clothing and pull maintenance on their weapons.

Mitch walks up to the roof of the building and sets up a small communications antenna on the roof and begins to transmit information back to SC-29 Command HQ while everyone else gathers up their strength and rest up. As the minutes turn to hours, Alex collects his thoughts and puts them on a report that he's typing up on his computer. Hours pass and most of the men take sleep in shifts, so that one man is awake while the rest catch up on sleep.

Meanwhile, atop the building, Percy and Mac are scanning around for targets, but no dice; the long hours make up for small talk between the two snipers, but there is not much to do except wait and survey
Percy:
Damn! Nothing. Call the boss and tell him that we are negative on enemy contact.

SCENE: His spotter nods and quickly communicates through his com-link, using Morse code as he taps the microphone in sequence. Even though they have high end comm equipment, they still use the old fashioned Morse Code system to talk to each other, that way they keep the radio chatter to a minimum while keeping the lines clear in case emergency radio traffic comes up the wire. On the opposite end, Alex listens to the series of taps and writes it all on a sheet of paper; after the spotter ends, he reads the message

"NEGATIVE ENEMY CONTACT - STOP - MAINTAINING SCAN OF SECTOR"

BREAK

"THIS SUCKS, SIR - STOP"

Alex chuckles and he taps back his response.

"MESSAGE CONFIRMED - STOP - MAINTAIN SURVEILLANCE OF SECTOR"

BREAK

"SUCK IT UP AND DRIVE ON - STOP"

Alex then walks back to where his men are gathered, checking how they are doing. Some of the men are getting some rest while others check their weapons and equipment; swapping batteries out of night vision equipment and weapon sights; Alex then sits down on a corner, going through maps; making notes on a diary while plotting coordinates.

Alex (to himself while writing):
*"March 27th â€“ Weâ€™ve swept the sector north of the old Bay Hill Bridge towards the financial district; encountered some stiff resistance from an enemy recon team, but we were able to eliminate them before they could call for reinforcements; their numbers were minor and they lacked any heavy vehicles or weapons, but we found something that raised our eyebrows; they had heavy explosives with them; comp-B, Semtex, the works; plus, something that our intelligence folks did not report to us; EFPs (Explosive Formed Penetrators) and specially made shaped charges, designed to penetrate heavy armor. What are they doing with so many explosives on them? And what were they doing with EFPs? We are bringing some of the stuff they were carrying back for analysis; hope the guys from Intelligence and the EOD folks might give us a clue to where it came from and who is supplying the enemy with their weapons."
*
Then Sean, his second-in-command, walks up to Alex with a canteen in his hands.

Sean:
You okay, Alex?

Alex (looking up):
Yeah, just filling up my report.

Sergeant First Class Sean Michael Blackwell is an anthro mountain lion from Atlanta, Ga.; he, like Alex is a career man and both men served under the same command during the war. Sean and Alex have been friends for a long time and have been together during their careers. They sometimes see themselves as brothers, even though they often have vast differences of opinions on almost every subject; despite that, they tend to agree on a lot of things and their friendship has been a long one.

Sean:
The guys are getting some rest now; they are tired.

Alex:
Good; they deserve a few hours of shuteye before we head back home. Weâ€™ve been operating nonstop for nearly 3 days; I might just cop a few Zâ€™s myself, but I have to get this report filed and saved before I do that.

Sean:So we found them and we destroyed them; that should slow their progress long enough for our other teams to make the proper plans; we sent command plenty of visual evidence about the charges; the mission has been a successâ€¦ Just relax and get some rest.

Alex:
Yeah; I willâ€¦

Thereâ€™s a short pause; Alex rubs his eyes and tilts his head from side to side to relieve some stress. Heâ€™s tired, real tired. Sean taps him on his back and walks back to the men; Alex then secures his com-link and his data tablet on a waterproof backpack and walks back to where the rest of the team is gathered. Sean, Alexâ€™s second-in-command and longtime friend then walks away and joins the rest of the team as they take some rest before heading back home.

Alex finds a corner and drops his backpack and weapon and he lays down on the floor, using the backpack as a pillow; he unbuckles his equipment belt and upholsters his Colt 1911A1 pistol and sets it next to him as he makes himself comfortable and dozes into sleep as one of the men stays awake while pulling sentry duty just as night falls over the city.


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## sablelieger (Jul 11, 2008)

CONTINUED...

Several hours later, they pack up and make their way back to a pre-designated landing zone on the parking lot of an old shopping center in the cityâ€™s commercial district; the team sets a perimeter and call for extraction; back in SC-29, two heavily armed HV-22D Ospreys take off from SC-29 enroute to the outer perimeter to pick up the patrol. The aircraft fly in a V formation with their rear ramps opened and gunners manning .30 caliber M134D miniguns, ready to provide heavy firepower if needed. The transports fly low and fast over the buildings and fly tightly, using large boulevards as canyons as they approach the LZ. The ships' navigation computers maneuver the titl-rotor aircraft effortlessly through the maze of bombed out buildings, finding the fastest route into their pre-designated LZ.

The pilot of the lead Osprey, a male anthro Silver Fox, flies by the seat of his pants as his co-pilot, another silver fox maintains his eyeballs on a terrain following radar and a thermal imaging monitor; the rear gunner and the crew chief, both humans, hold on as they keep their eyes peeled for activity.


Pilot:
Widowmaker Six Six, this is Osprey two niner, we are inbound; ten minutes to touchdown on Landing Zone Echo Bravo.

Radio Man:
Copy that Osprey Two Niner; we are in position waiting for exfil. (to Alex) Sir! Transports on their way; ETA 10 mikes.

Alex:
All right, stay sharp, folks; they might be lying in wait. Stay down, eyes peeled!

The soldiers stay in the prone position behind junked out cars and piles of debris; tension builds as they wait patiently, yet anxiously for the transports to arrive; then the roar of the engines becomes audible in the distance, then becomes increasingly louder as they close in. Alex pulls out an infrared strobe light and turns it on, the transport pilots see the flashing lights and they signal the gunners to prepare for a hot landing. 

One of the transports makes a quick landing while the other two fire up powerful lights on their ships and provide cover with a combination of guns and rocket pods mounted on the wings.

Alex (shouting through radio):
GO GO GO!! MOVE; GET IN THE TRANSPORT!

And the team rushes into the back end of the transport and Alex stays near the ramp as the other soldiers rush inside, but just as the last soldiers hit the ramp, a shot rings out and hits one of the soldiers in the back. The soldier screams in pain and collapses unto the ramp.

Percy (grabbing the soldier by the straps on his vest):
MAN DOWN!

 Alex quickly looks and sees a flurry of enemy combatants rushing into the landing zone, firing their weapons at the transports. Bullets ricochet from the back ramp and from the sides as the gunner opens fire with his minigun. Alex raises his carbine and also opens fire as the rest of the team get inside a second transport; a rocket impacts nearby and a ball of fire erupts from near the landing zone as the enym's fire becomes heavier.

Alex (shouting while falling back into the transport):
SHIT!!! MOVE, MOVE MOVE!!!

Finally, the last soldier hits the ramp and the tail gunner signals the pilot to ascend while pouring precise and heavy volume fire. The transports begins to gain altitude while under enemy small arms fire; rounds ping and ricochet from the transportâ€™s semi armored skin while the rear gunnerâ€™s Minigun spews hot brass out the side of the ramp. 

Pilot:
Magic Four Niner, this is Osprey Two Niner; we are under fire; landing zone hot; request gun and bomb run on our location.

F/A-22 Pilot:
Copy that Osprey Two Niner; we are at your 1 o' clock; brace up, we are dropping heavy steel.

As the transport lumber forward, a pair of F/A-22 Raptors appear on the scene and rush past the transports towards the landing zone and release their payload of cluster munitions.The planes drop two CBU-103 Cluster bombs; as the bombs reach 1500 feet over the target, the bomb's casings open up, releasing their bomblets, saturating the landing zone with hundreds of anti-personnel bomblets that detonate on impact, killing the enemy and destroying everything left in the landing zone in a shower of sparks fire and shrapnel.

Meanwhile. back inside the lead transport, Alex and Sean check the wounded soldier for injuries. They roll him on his stomach and start cutting away his gear, trying to get to the wound.

Soldier (grimacing in pain):
My back! In my backâ€¦ Shit!!!

Alex rips the soldierâ€™s coat and undershirt, revealing his back and he sees blood seeping out of a hole the size of a pencil eraser on his back. He then breaks open a first aid kit and begin providing medical aid to the wounded soldier.

Alex:
Don't move; you'll be fine, the SAPI Plate broker the impact, but you have a hole in your back.

Soldier (screaming in pain):
Oh God! Don't let me die! Don't let me die! Aaah!! GOD, IT HURTS!!!

Sean (handing Alex a syringe):
Here, give him some Morphine.

Alex:
Hold on! Let me give you something for the pain.

Soldier (in pain):
Oh, God! Don't let me die like this... Not now!

Alex jabs the needle into the soldier's leg and it takes but a few seconds for the powerful narcotic to kick in and soldier slowly stops squirming and relaxes while Alex bandages him up. 

Sean (on radio):
HQ, this is Widowmaker; we have a man injure, bullet wound the the back; he's lost a lot fo blood; I will require medical team on standby at the tarmac; soldier is stable but bleeding profusely.

HQ:
Copy that; we'll have a Medical Team ready on the tarmac.

Sean:
Copy that, HQ. Out!

Sean sighs heavily as he looks as Alex while holding the wounded soldier's hand with one hand and his bandages with the other. Alex's uniform is bloodied up and he is breathign heavily. As the transports fly out of harms way and back to SC-29, the sun begins to rise over the horizon, bathing the inside of the craft with a warm orange glow. Alex looks out the wondow and sees the city, rising over the ruin, like a phoenix rising from the ashes.

Alex (to himself):
Finally...

The transports reach the city's air terminal and begin to maneuver into landing position. Ground crews guide the Ospreys into landing position and the lumbering aircraft touch down. As the engines wind down, an ambulance drives up to the rear ramp and the wounded soldier is carried out in a stretcher to be taken to a nedical aid station while the soldiers disembark and unload their gear and equipment into a small-wheeled vehicle and drive out of the tarmac and into a large Hangar.

Once there, they clear their weapons, remove all ammunition and explosives from their gear and they quickly go into a decon room, where their uniforms get removed and sterilized, along with their weapons and equipment. Alex, being in charge, decides to go last; as he walks into the room; he is put in a platform, he drops his equipment and he strips off his uniform and undergarments.

SCENE - Alex walks naked into a shower station and takes a thorough bath, scrubbing thoroughly before being rinsed out and air dried. Once he has been decontaminated, he walks into a sterile room, where he is given a full medical evaluation. Once he is screened, he then is allowed to get dressed and he then proceeds to a briefing room, where he briefs his commander, General Stephen L. Craig II; an anthro white wolf who is the Military COmmander of SC-29 and Alex's boss.

SCENE - Briefing room, several high-ranking military officers sit in a room while Alex briefs them on their operation, including the discovery of the EFPs. THe explosives are cause for concern amongst the officers, so they question Alex about it.

Alex (showing images of the EFPs):
According to some of the date i was able to gather pre-briefing; it looks like the EFPs are quite advanced. THe design centers around a shaped charge made of Semtex, surrounded by a slug of solid copper and encased in a steel casing; the firing mechanism is designed so it can be detonated using an infrared trigger. We also discovered several detonators and firing triggers made using everything from Cell phones to Garage door openers; the mechanisms are simpe, but very effective.

Army Major:
So... Did you take everything you found in the cache?

Alex:
No istr; the volume of explosives stored in this cache was too large for us to just pick up and bring back; most of it was destroyed while we did take a few of these, which are now being inspected and analyzed by our EOD people. The design of these explosives is reminiscent of Pakistani-made designs used during the Great War by the enemy; they are well made and unlike the crude designs used against our forces in the Middle East, these are mode advanced and show a level of technical expertise that suggests indirect Pakistani involvement in the war.

Air Force General:
That's a big accusation, Captain. Accusing a country of providing enemy forces with weapons...

Alex:
I am not accusing anyoen of anything... Like i stated before, these explosives look like the ones i explained. THese could;ve been made in a shop outside of the Exclusion Zone and moved into the xclusion Zone by militias to be used against us. The technology is really not that complex, anyone with a garage full of tools and a computer hooked up to the Internet can make these. My concern is who is bringing these explosives into the Exclusion Zone and what their intentions are, sir.

Air Force General (interrupting):
Hmmm, I see your point, what do you suggest we do? It seems that they are amassing supplies for an unknown attack on the city; right under our noses and despite your patrols, we are not making headway into finding out who is supplying the militias with their weapons.

I suggest we increase satellite surveillance of all the enemy groups operating in our Area Of Operations and see who is making preparations; they are eventually going to screw up and expose themselves and once that happens, we jump in and take care of them.

Gen Craig:
Thank you, Captain. Your report has been very valuable; as usual, you and your men do an outstanding job and I am certain that your efforts have crippled the enemy's capability to attack the city. Please keep us abreast of anything that happens out there.

Alex:
Yes sir.

Alex stands at attention and salutes before exiting the room. THe AF General is fuming mad and Craig knows this.

AF General:
You have yoruself a heck of a team leader, Steve. Where did you find this soldier?

Gen Craig:
He has been doing this for a very long time, Greg; he and his team are experts in the field and i would've never put him up for this unless i was one hundred percent certain that could deliver; and so far, he has.

AF General:
Good, because all this tells me we are in for something big and we should prepare accordingly.

Gen Craig:
I agree; we will increase surveillance and UAV overflights immediately...

USN Commander:
I'll have our UAV squadrons begin to increase overflights.

AF General Our SATCOM teams will start paying closer attention as well.

Gen Craig:
Very well, let's get on top of it.

The brass walks out of the office and Craig stays behind, looking at the intel Alex gathered; he knows that something big is going to happen, but he is confident that Alex's team will be on top of it. Meanwhile, down in the parking lot in front of Divisional Headquarters, Alex and Sean are walking to their vehicles to return home after what seems to be a short eternity.

Sean (getting off the phone):
Percy says William will be okay; the SAPI Plate he was wearing prevented the bullet from killing him, but the doctors will keep him under observation until he is sure that he has no permanent spinal damage.

Alex:
(Sighing) Good; the last thing I need is to be going to a funeral for another one of our guys. At least Iâ€™ll get to keep him for another mission.

Sean:
They donâ€™t call us "The Widowmakers" for nothing. Every time we go out, we come back tugging a body bag with us.

Alex (smiling):
Well, not today; we jumped the shark this time.

Alex and Sean reach their vehicles and Sean pops the trunk on his 2009 Saleen modified Mustang GT and throws his gear in the trunk while Alex does the same on a restored 1969 Chevrolet Camaro RS/SS and they both shake hands.

Alex:
Still up for going to the range on Saturday?

Sean:
Yep; that is if your wife approves.

Alex winks and gets in his car and both soldiers drive in separate directions; Sean drives South towards downtown while Alex drives North towards Liberty Heights.

SCENE: Satellite Boulevard, traffic is moderate. Alex's Camaro rumbles down the road; the car's bright metallic blue paint shines brightly against the bright midday sun.

As Alex drives home, he unties his ponytail and shakes his long black hair, loosening it up while scratching the back of his head, then his facial fur; heâ€™s happy to be back inside the walls of SC-29, so he turns the radio on and listens to some recorded music on his MP3 system. The drive is accelerating for Alex, so he takes the long route home; he shifts the gears and the 396 c.i. engine responds with a mighty roar as he accelerates past cars and trucks on the long stretch of road. He drives for about 30 minutes and arrives at a row of condos near Lake Freedom and parks his car in his garage, next to a speed bike and unloads all his combat gear off and walks a short flight of stairs into his home.

As Alex walks into his home, he drops his weapons and equipment into a small studio, he then he takes his jacket off, along with his boots and lays the jacket in a coat hanger in the living room and his boots on a shoe rack next to it; he passes by a large class photograph that shows his team in better days, posing in formation, all smiles; as time went by, the soldiers in the photograph have either died or retired from service; from the original 35 men in the picture, only 18 are still alive; specialized units like Alex's often suffer heavy losses in combat. A heavy price to pay to protect all life, human and anthro alike when life seems to be cheap.

Alex then walks towards the bedroom and loosens his belt up. As he drops his trousers and drops them on a laundry basket in the corner of the bedroom, leaving him dressed only in a pair of gray athletic shorts.
Then a pair of female arms come from behind him and wrap lovingly around his torso as Alex takes his undershirt off, revealing his deep orange body striped fur; then a young female Gazelle presses herself into Alexâ€™s back. Her hands rub lovingly over his chest, stomach and sides.

Kiara:
Welcome home, tiger.

Alex:
I'm happy to be back home.

END OF CHAPTER 1


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## thebeast76 (Jul 11, 2008)

Sounds cool! I think it's shaping up!
One minor, minor note, though.
In our real military, Percy wouldn't have a Barrett M107. That's the civilian model. He'd be using the Barrett M109.


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## sablelieger (Jul 11, 2008)

thebeast76 said:


> Sounds cool! I think it's shaping up!
> One minor, minor note, though.
> In our real military, Percy wouldn't have a Barrett M107. That's the civilian model. He'd be using the Barrett M109.


 
Nope; the M107 LRSR is the military designation of the Barrett M82A1 rifle. Trust me, I've handled the rifle in Iraq and I've read the manuals.

http://www.barrettrifles.com/rifle_82.aspx

The rifle's official designation is *Long Range Sniper Rifle, Caliber .50, M107* and uses a Leupold 4.5x14 scope or an AN/PVS-10 Day/Night Vision Sniper Scope (which is the scope Percy has on his M-107).


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## thebeast76 (Jul 11, 2008)

sablelieger said:


> Nope; the M107 LRSR is the military designation of the Barrett M82A1 rifle. Trust me, I've handled the rifle in Iraq and I've read the manuals.
> 
> http://www.barrettrifles.com/rifle_82.aspx
> 
> The rifle's official designation is *Long Range Sniper Rifle, Caliber .50, M107* and uses a Leupold 4.5x14 scope or an AN/PVS-10 Day/Night Vision Sniper Scope (which is the scope Percy has on his M-107).



Well, that was my mistake then.
My personal favorite Sniper/anti-materiel rifle is the Hungarian manufactured Gepard M1, firing the Soviet 14.5x114 mm round.


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## Project_X (Jul 11, 2008)

sablelieger said:


> Nope; the M107 LRSR is the military designation of the Barrett M82A1 rifle. Trust me, I've handled the rifle in Iraq and I've read the manuals.
> 
> http://www.barrettrifles.com/rifle_82.aspx
> 
> The rifle's official designation is *Long Range Sniper Rifle, Caliber .50, M107* and uses a Leupold 4.5x14 scope or an AN/PVS-10 Day/Night Vision Sniper Scope (which is the scope Percy has on his M-107).



Soldier Fur! -salutes- Must've been a nightmare out there..


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## sablelieger (Jul 11, 2008)

Project_X said:


> Soldier Fur! -salutes- Must've been a nightmare out there..


 
Youhave no idea; I was a turret gunner (TTM, or Tactical Trunk Moneky) and my unit rolled around in M1025 Humvees, which had no armor, except for sandbags and taping old flak jackets to the doors for protection.

It was worst for me, because I was exposed the most on top of the turret with only my body armor to protect me; so i was kissing my ass goodbye every time we went outside the wire to escort a convoy or roll up an down MSR Tampa, looking for trouble.

Is tough, but we had our lighter moments and I have good memories of my time there.


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## Phoenixwildfire (Jul 11, 2008)

Chapter 4- Makeover

â€œSo, youâ€™re planning a bit of an uprising, huh Toran?â€ Xicro said as he walked next to Toran and Althea on the way to the feline city of Carthuse. 
â€œYes, my father is ill.â€ Toran said softly, and the news stopped Xicro in his tracks. 
â€œThe kingâ€¦ is sick?â€ Xicro gasped in horror, looking to Toran with wide eyes.
â€œYes, but I have not told anyone else. The only thing that will come of the news is more death and sorrow. The Tora kingdom is just acting as if everything is normal.â€
Althea heard the regal tone in his voice and glanced at him, her mind still not able to face the fact that Toran was actually royalty. She marveled at the strength and determination radiating from him, and wondered how she ever thought he could be anything but a prince. 
â€œWhat?â€ Toran asked, noticing her stare. Althea blushed and looked down.
â€œI suppose I want to help you guys.â€ She said, looking up to see Xicro smiling at her. 
â€œAlright, but itâ€™s dangerous. Weâ€™ll be in battles, people will die in front of you. You might even get really hurt.â€ Toran said, looking down at Althea in pleasant surprise.
â€œI know, but this whole war is a load of shit. No one has the right to decide who lives and who dies.â€
Xicro ruffled her hair , â€œWell arenâ€™t you a little tabby cat?â€ he chuckled. â€œYou canâ€™t walk around in those strange clothes though.â€
â€œI donâ€™t have any money, do you?â€ Toran looked over at Xicro.
â€œNo, but I know someone who can help.â€ The black panther smirked, his fangs flashing.

â€œThis is it.â€ Xicro stopped Toran and Althea in front of a large house. 
â€œYouâ€™re kiddingâ€¦ right? The lynx family? Theyâ€™re all insane.â€ Toran said, looking up at the house warily. 
â€œYouâ€™ll see. Radica and I go way back.â€ Xicro said, knocking on the door. A lynx humanus answered, her large tufted ears flipping back when she noticed Althea. She glanced at Xicro and smiled brightly. 
â€œXicro, how nice to see you!â€ She said happily, hugging him tightly. 
â€œNice to see you too.â€ Xicro gasped as the air was squeezed out of him, and watched with amusement as Radica spotted Toran behind him. 
â€œOh!â€ She said, letting go of Xicro and curtsying to the prince. 
â€œPlease- donâ€™t do that. I canâ€™t stand bowing and curtsying.â€ Toran said, looking uneasy. 
â€œSorry, youâ€™re majes-â€œ
â€œCall me Toran.â€
â€œAlright.â€ Radica smiled, and looked at Althea. â€œSo whoâ€™s this, Xicro?â€
â€œThis is Althea. She needs your help. Donâ€™t worry, sheâ€™s good.â€ Xicro said, putting a hand on Altheaâ€™s shoulder.
Radica looked at her for a minute and nodded. â€œAlright then, come on in.â€ She said, and motioned them to file into the house. 
Once inside, Althea looked around at the silver and purple decorated room with wide eyes. â€œThis place is great!â€ She said.
Radica looked at her in surprise and smiled sweetly. â€œWhy thank you, dear. We must both have good taste.â€ She chuckled. â€œSo what did you boys want?â€ Radica looked at Toran and Xicro, who had both sat on a large cushioned couch. 
â€œAlthea needs a makeover. I thought you might want the opportunity to work on a human for a change.â€ Xicro said, flinching when Radica let out a loud squeal of excitement and turned back around to Althea to examine her. 
â€œYou want a makeover? Oh we have so much work to do- up the stairs- go go go, these guys will be fine on their own.â€ Radica said, pushing a very confused Althea up the stairs. 
Toran looked at Xicro warily. â€œYou sure itâ€™s ok to leave her alone with Radica?â€ 
â€œOf course. Radica may seem hyper, but sheâ€™s a good girl. I should know, I almost married her.â€ Xicro said, watching the two scamper up the stairs in amusement.
Toran looked at Xicro in shock. â€œSerious? Why didnâ€™t you?â€
Xicroâ€™s smile vanished and he looked to Toran with a nervous expression. â€œIâ€™d rather not say yet. Iâ€™ll tell you later, when youâ€™re more prepared to hear it.â€
Toran shook his head in confusion and slumped in the couch, trying to figure out what he had meant by that.

â€œIâ€¦ I donâ€™t know. Are you sure they wonâ€™t laugh at me?â€ Althea said nervously, sneaking a peek at Toran and Xicro, who were chatting downstairs. 
â€œof course they wonâ€™t dear. If they do, Iâ€™ll rip their throats out.â€ Radica snickered. Althea looked up at her in surprise, because she had sounded so serious when saying the threat. Radica only laughed and walked down the stairs. â€œCome on, dear. You canâ€™t hide up there forever.â€
â€œSheâ€™s done?â€ Xicro looked up curiously, leaning forward to try and sneak a peak of her before she came down the stairs. 
â€œYep, sheâ€™s all ready.â€ Radica said, and went up the stairs to pull her down. Althea stumbled after her, then stood at the bottom of the stairs, clearing her throat uneasily. 
She had her hair down, which flowed to the middle of her back in long waves. Her bright blue eyes were wide as she looked around, and her cheeks were pink from a blush of embarrassment. She wore a long blue and white dress with a blue tie at the waist. 
â€œVery nice.â€ Xicro said, standing up and walking over to Althea. He turned her in a circle and nodded in satisfaction. â€œYouâ€™ve done it again, Radica, I knew you could.â€
â€œOh youâ€™re as sweet as always, Xicro.â€ Radica said, her fur fluffing a bit in happiness. Toran looked up at Althea, his eyes wide. She looked beautiful- for a human, anyway. â€œYou look good.â€ He said, clearing his throat and looking away again.
â€œShe looks better than good.â€ Radica pouted, but sighed and rolled her eyes when Toran only shrugged. â€œSo where are you boys heading to, anyway? Anywhere in particular?â€
â€œAfter we make a little side stop for provisions weâ€™re heading for a meeting with Umou.â€
â€œOh, you didnâ€™t tell me that.â€ Xicro said, his eyebrow raised in interest. â€œUmouâ€™s the general of the avian division, isnâ€™t he?â€
â€œyeah, heâ€™s been scouting the front lines of the human army lately. Iâ€™d like to see what size their force is, so that I can recruit as many or more than I need.â€ Toran said, leaning his head back and sighing from the stress of leading an army in the war. 
â€œOh youâ€™re recruiting, are you? Iâ€™ll come with you.â€ Radica said, biting her lip in excitement. Toran looked up at her in annoyance. 
â€œYou can fight?â€ he asked doubtfully. 
Radica scoffed and made a two quick movements with her arm, throwing needle-like blades into the wooden frame behind Toran, who was now pinned to the couch. Toran looked down in shock at the blades and tried to sit up, but stopped so he wouldnâ€™t rip his shirt any further. 
â€œDoes that satisfy his majesty?â€ Radica sneered sarcastically. Xicro was overtaken with laughter as Toran tried to find a way to get up without tearing his shirt. He finally managed to twist his arm enough to pull the blade out of the wood behind him, looking at the small slim weapon in interest.
â€œVery good. Youâ€™d be willing to come with us?â€ Toran looked up at Radica with a newfound respect. 
â€œOf course. Anywhere Xicro goes Iâ€™ll follow.â€ Radica said with a purr, winking to Xicro. 
â€œI believe you have a kitten following you, Xicro.â€ Toran laughed as Xicro sighed. He looked to Radica with a warm smile, and shook his head with a chuckle. â€œAlright, I hope we havenâ€™t kept the general waiting for too long. Iâ€™d think he would be a veryâ€¦ short tempered eagle.â€
Toran laughed â€œyouâ€™ve never met him, have you?â€
â€œNo, why?â€ Xicro said curiously. 
â€œHeâ€™s a Haast Eagle. Short temper is the least of your worries with him.â€
â€œWhatâ€™s a Haast Eagle?â€ Althea walked over to Toran, sitting on the couch next to him.
â€œUmou is the last Haast Eagle- theyâ€™re the largest bird humanus in the world. Iâ€™d say Umouâ€™s aboutâ€¦ ten feet high, or so. I havenâ€™t seen him in a while though, so he may be taller.â€ Toran shrugged. 
Altheaâ€™s eyes widened in shock. â€œTen FEET? Thatâ€™s huge!â€
â€œYes, it is. Heâ€™s a very good formidable enemy. The best general in the country.â€
â€œWe shouldnâ€™t keep him waiting, then.â€ Althea said nervously, standing up. â€œLetâ€™s get going.â€
Toran rolled his eyes but stood up as well. â€œYou donâ€™t have to worry about him. Iâ€™m the prince, remember? Heâ€™ll listen to me.â€ He said, walking with the others out the door to meet Umou.


----------



## Phoenixwildfire (Jul 11, 2008)

Chapter 5- The General

â€œWhy did you guys have to get so much meat?â€ Althea looked at the pounds of jerky in her new brown sack in dismay.
â€œWhatâ€™s wrong with meat? Do you not like it?â€ Toran said around a bite of turkey jerky, his eyebrows raised in surprise.
â€œWell no, I like meat, but isnâ€™t there anything else?â€ Althea pushed aside the paper packages of meat, trying to find something else.
â€œThereâ€™s always foraging, Althea. I know a thing or two about the woods. If you want something other than meat, I can find it for you.â€ Xicro smiled to her, and she sighed in relief. 
â€œThereâ€™s nothing wrong with it.â€ Toran muttered defensively, and Radica chuckled.
â€œI think what sheâ€™s trying to say is that humans are mostly omnivores, remember? They like green stuff too.â€ Radica winked back at Althea, who nodded. 
Althea hadnâ€™t really thought of that before- if they were human-like versions of their animals, did that make them all carnivores?
â€œWe can eat greens too, if thatâ€™s what youâ€™re wondering.â€ Radica said, seeing Altheaâ€™s thoughtful face.  â€œIt just tastes yucky.â€ She continued, sticking out her tongue in disgust.
Toran looked up as a shadow was cast over them from above, and he swallowed his jerky quickly before letting out a loud shout, surprising the rest of the group. A flock of birds started circling overhead, one of the figures separating from the rest of the group in a dive bomb toward the ground, the form getting bigger and bigger as it fell. Althea let out a small squeak of fear, stepping back a few feet from the others as the diving humanus eyed her with blazing yellow eyes. Weapons were drawn as the bird tackled Althea to the ground, holding a clawed hand to her throat threateningly. 
â€œSay your name, and your purpose. NOW!â€ The bird yelled, its large black wings flapping behind it angrily. His face was a deep black, and white chest was covered in thousands of black spots. Althea, in her wild panic, noticed that his hair was actually long feathers. 
â€œA-Althea- I donâ€™t have any purpose! Please donâ€™t hurt me.â€ Althea stammered, looking at the claws at her throat in fear
â€œTOBIAS!â€ a female voice yelled from behind them as a pale, female humanus touched to the ground, her eyebrows furrowed in anger. The humanus holding Althea flinched, his eyes widening as he looked behind him.
â€œFor Godsâ€™ sake, THINK before you attack, numbskull! Sheâ€™s with Toran, do you think he would allow and enemy to walk next to him?â€ She was entirely white, except for light brown wings and a soft ring around her face. The long feathers that ran down her shoulders were light brown, swaying as she grabbed at Tobiasâ€™ shoulder to get him off Althea.  â€œIâ€™m sorry, youâ€™ll have to excuse him. My name is Sora.â€ She offered a hand to Althea as she pushed Tobias away from the human.
â€œWhy did he attack me?â€ Althea said quietly, looking at Tobias with wide eyes as she took Soraâ€™s hand to stand up.
â€œI would like to know the answer as well.â€ Toran said, his voice low in anger as he glared at Tobias.
â€œHe just came back from a scouting trip to the humanâ€™s camp. They started shooting at him in the air, and heâ€™s not really recovered yet, I think.â€ 
â€œAh- I see.â€ Toran looked to Tobias, who was running a hand through his â€˜hairâ€™ nervously, looking around at all the angry people. 
â€œLook, Iâ€™m sorry. I donâ€™t know what went through my head.â€ Tobias said, looking to Sora nervously.
â€œDonâ€™t apologize to me, sheâ€™s the one who almost had her throat ripped out.â€ Sora pointed to Althea, who made a small sound of fear and grabbed her throat. 
Tobias sighed, his wings drooping behind him. â€œIâ€™m sorry.â€ He looked down at Althea with his bright yellow eyes, but Althea nodded quickly. 
â€œTobias, you must control yourself more. Even though sheâ€™s human, thereâ€™s no excuse for undeeded threats.â€ A deep voice sounded from behind Sora, and a large- VERY large- bird humanus walked up to them, looking over the scene below him before relaxing. Scars and spots of missing brown feathers covered his entire face and shoulders as he walked forward, a heavy pair of leather pants being the only thing he was wearing.  Althea looked up at him in surprise as who could only be Umou looked at her shocked expression with a slight smile before turning away.
â€œGood afternoon, my prince. We have much to discuss.â€ Umou looked down at Toran, who was only just over half his height.
â€œAgreed. Umou, how tall are you now?â€ Toran looked up at Umou, his tail swishing behind him anxiously.
â€œ12 feet, why?â€ the Haast eagle humanus raised an eyebrow curiously at the question.
â€œI thought so. Is that all thatâ€™s left of your division?â€ Toran looked to the humanus standing behind Umou.
â€œYes, Iâ€™m afraid so. The humans found our encampment a few weeks ago, and we lost several men. Luckily we were able to hold them off and escape to a new location.â€ Umou looked to Althea as she shook her head in dismay with a sigh. â€œWhat is wrong, small one?â€ he asked.
â€œI just donâ€™t understand why theyâ€™re killing you guys. It doesnâ€™t make sense to me.â€ Althea shook her head again. 
â€œWhere is she from?â€ Umou said as he watched her movements, but directing the question to Toran.
â€œUmâ€¦ thatâ€™s also what I wanted to talk about. Do you remember the story of the human coming through the mirror?â€ Toran said, glancing over to Althea as Xicro and Radica started chatting with her.
â€œYou mean the king? Of course I do.â€ Umou replied. 
â€œShe also came through the mirror. She appeared in a field next to the capitol about three days ago. I found her, and she was in the strangest clothing. She wants to find a way home somehow, and I donâ€™t want her to get mixed up in this war. She doesnâ€™t belong here.â€
â€œToran, sheâ€™ll have to be second priority. Youâ€™re the prince of the kingdom, and you have to lead the army into battle.â€ Umou said softly. 
â€œI know, but Iâ€™d hate to see the one human that doesnâ€™t hate us get killed.â€
â€œI understand. However, I have an urgent matter I must ask of you.â€ Umou said quietly, to try and prevent the other from hearing them. â€œA town in the avian region was attacked just two days ago. The humans are said to have taken prisoners of many of the humanus there. They may be still alive, and are being held in a prison not too far from here. I would ask his majesty if he would like to assist in a rescue mission.â€ Umou stood to his full height and looked around for any sign of danger before looking down at Toran expectedly. 
â€œOf course I will.â€ Toran nodded, turned to Xicro, Radica and Althea. â€œIâ€™m afraid weâ€™ll be making another side trip. There are some humanus being held prisoner not too far from here. Are you guys up for a rescue?â€
â€œOf courseâ€ Radica smiled as Xicro nodded. Althea looked to them nervously for a minute before nodding as well.
Toran smiled at her anxiousness, and put a hand on her head reassuringly. â€œDonâ€™t worry Althea, Iâ€™ll make sure you donâ€™t get hurt.â€ 
Althea smiled to him in thanks and looked at Tobias, who was being thoroughly scolded by Sora. 
â€œHey-â€œ Althea walked toward them and looked toward Tobias. â€œItâ€™s okay, really. I understand why you did it.â€ she said, holding out a hand to shake. Tobias looked at her in surprise before smiling and shaking her hand. 
â€œThanks. I guess I need to take a break for a while.â€ He said sheepishly, looking to Sora with a smirk. 
â€œWe should get going then. Thereâ€™s no telling what theyâ€™ll do to those captured.â€ Umou said, running for a ways before leaping into the air, his great wings carrying him higher to direct the group on the direction to travel. Tobias and Sora leaped into the air almost automatically to follow their leader toward the prison, Toran and his group following on the ground.


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## Phoenixwildfire (Jul 11, 2008)

Chapter 6- The Exception

Toran looked anxiously at the large stone building in front of him, the human guards on the outside looking around cautiously. He slid back behind the bush as they looked into his direction, looking at Xicro with bright eyes.
â€œYou guys ready?â€ he whispered, smiling when Xicro grinned wildly and unraveled his whip. Toran unsheathed his sword and looked to Althea, who nodded as well.
Toran looked up at the avian humanus above them, waving a hand to Tobias, knowing all too well they would see his movement. The birds flew above the humans as Radica jumped from the bush, flinging two daggers directly into their necks. They fell to the ground with a choking gurgling sound, clutching their necks. The group filed into the building silently as the birds landed behind them, following in as well. Sora put a reassuring hand on Althea as she walked behind her, seeing Althea shake with fear as they entered the next room. In it was another human, along with two humanus in the corner. Toran quickly took out the human with his sword, and Althea looked over to the two humanus in interest.
â€œHey guys, weâ€™re here to help.â€ She kneeled down, holding out her hands welcomingly. They still stayed in the corner, and Althea sighed.
The smaller figure looked at her with large blue eyes, and shifted slightly out of the shadows. â€œYou a good human?â€ She said in a small voice.
â€œYeah, Iâ€™m a good one.â€ Althea smiled and kneeled back down with open arms. A young roadrunner humanus ran toward her, the small flightless wings on her back fluttering. Althea looked down as the small girl hugged her tightly, letting out a soft moan of depression.
â€œI was so scared. Are you here to help us?â€ she looked up at Althea, her soft feathered hair rustling.
â€œYeah, weâ€™re here to help you.â€ Althea nodded as Toran kneeled down as well, patting the little girl on the head.
â€œWhatâ€™s your name?â€ he asked, his voice soft.
â€œPeeperis. But I like Peep better.â€ The girl smiled to Toran and looked over at the other figure, still in the shadows. â€œThatâ€™s Sox. He must be shy.â€
â€œSox?â€ Umou looked over in interest and smiled as the figure perked up at the sound of a familiar voice. â€œCome on boy, your mother must be worried sick.â€ Umou, who was already hunched over from the low ceiling, held out a hand as the figure stood. A young cardinal humanus, bright red in color, walked over to Umou, his crest sticking up anxiously as he looked toward Althea. It lowered when he looked up at Umou.
â€œIâ€™m glad you came to get us. There are others though.â€
â€œWhereâ€™s Nawu?â€ Peeps looked around in Altheaâ€™s arms, but pouted when she didnâ€™t see anyone else in the room. â€œWe need to find Nawu, I heard him earlier today. He didnâ€™t sound too good.â€ She tugged pleadingly at Altheaâ€™s collar.
â€œWhoâ€™s Nawu?â€ Toran looked at Umou in confusion, who shrugged.
â€œNot Nawu, Naru.â€ Sox sighed, looking over to Peeps from under one of Umouâ€™s massive wings. â€œHeâ€™s further in. There are a lot more humans further in.â€
â€œRight. Letâ€™s get going, then.â€ Toran stood, sword in hand.
They made their way through the maze of halls and rooms, finding in each room either a humanus long dead, or half starved. Saving as many as they could, they finally made their way to the room at the furthest end of the last hallway.
â€œThis must be where Naru is.â€ Toran said, opening the heavy wooden door slowly. This was the only room that they had seen with a window, the sunlight from outside casting a beam into several green feathers lying on the ground around the figure, who was curled in the corner in a fetal position.
â€œNaru?â€ Toran asked, and the figure looked up, scampering against the wall, but hissing out in pain at the contact. They fell on their knees and held their shoulders to try and ward off the pain.
â€œWhatâ€™s wrong?â€ Althea started forward, but Naru moved backwards defensively.
â€œStay back.â€ He said in a raspy voice, watching her with wide green eyes.
â€œWhere are your wings, Nawu?â€ Peeps asked him from behind Althea. Naru stepped into the light of the room, his bright blue body contrasting with the green of his long peacock tail feathers.
â€œThe humans took them.â€ He smiled to Peeps, but his eyes showed the pain he was feeling. Sora hissed in pity from behind Althea.
â€œI donâ€™t think itâ€™s closed yet. It still hurts a lot.â€ Naru continued, trying to look behind his back.
â€œWould you mind if I took a look?â€ Althea asked softly, setting Peeps down onto the ground gently.
Naru looked at Althea with searching eyes before looking at how Peeps was clutching at the skirt of Altheaâ€™s dress.
â€œI guess.â€ He nodded, watching her every move as she approached him.
Althea walked behind him, flinching when she saw the bloody mess around two stumps of bone jutting out from his shoulder blades.
â€œIt probably looks pretty bad.â€ Naru said softly. â€œMind the tail, though.â€
Althea looked down at the green feathers at her feet, figuring they had to be at least 10 feet long. She stood on either side of the feathers as she examined the wound, touching him gently on the shoulder, but he flinched at the contact.
â€œDoes anyone have a spare shirt they can let me use?â€ Althea asked the group. Tobias looked into the pouch tied to his waist, and throwing a white tunic over to her. Althea thanked him and started ripping the tunic in pieces, tying it around Naruâ€™s wound to try and protect it.
â€œThat may not help much, but itâ€™ll do for now. Weâ€™ll wash it out when we get to some water.â€ She said, looking toward the bowl of water that had been left in the room in disgust, seeing the slime coating its surface.
â€œThank you.â€ Naru said softly, looking over his shoulder.
â€œItâ€™s no problem.â€ Althea smiled and hopped over his tail to avoid stepping on it.
â€œWell then, we should drop you guys off at the avian village before we continue recruiting.â€ Toran looked to Naru and the children.
â€œRecruiting for what?â€ Naru looked to Toran curiously.
â€œWeâ€™re taking a stand against the humans. Iâ€™m recruiting all those adept at fighting.â€ Toran explained.
â€œOh good, Iâ€™ll come along then.â€ Naru said, starting to walk forward with his long tail dragging behind him.
â€œUmâ€¦â€ Toran looked at Naru uneasily. â€œI donâ€™t think you would last very long in a battle with that tail.â€
â€œOh, I donâ€™t fight physically.â€ Naru chuckled. He held out his hands, his tail unfurling against his back as a small golden glow appeared between his palms, making everyone around him, save Althea, back up quickly against the wall in fear.


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## Phoenixwildfire (Jul 11, 2008)

Chapter 7- Recovery

â€œYou can do _magic?_â€ Toran gaped at the small golden sphere between Naruâ€™s hands.
â€œyes, my entire family could.â€ Naru let the light fade, his tail feathers folding behind him.
â€œI remember someone saying that the peacock humanus were special, but I thought they had died along with the furso.â€ Xicro said quietly, still stunned by the sight of magic from a humanus.
â€œMost did. I was raised by an old sparrow. My parents were killed when I was very young.â€ Naru nodded sadly.
â€œHow much magic do you know?â€ Toran looked Naru over, from his black bird-like feet to his green and blue feather-like hair. He was so noticeable it was almost laughable- he would be a direct target in battle.
â€œEnough.â€ Naru grinned, his image slowly fading to that of a human with tan skin and brown hair, but the same bright green eyes. â€œItâ€™s only an illusion, though. If anyone touches me, theyâ€™ll feel feathers rather than skin.â€ Naru glanced back at Althea, who was watching him in shock. â€œCanâ€™t she do magic too?â€
â€œNo, she canâ€™t. Sheâ€™s not from around here.â€ Toran looked over to Althea, amused by her shock at seeing magic.
â€œI guess not, huh? I thought all humans knew magic. Where is she from?â€
â€œA long way away. Weâ€™ll discuss this later- Iâ€™d like to get the children out of here.â€ Toran looked to Sox, who was still hiding among the feathers of Umouâ€™s massive brown wings.
â€œAgreed.â€ Naru let the illusion fall, returning to his normal appearance as he walked out of the room. Toran walked in, putting a hand on Altheaâ€™s shoulder to guide the shocked woman out the door.
â€œYouâ€™ll have a lot more than that to deal with, Althea. Youâ€™ll be okay.â€ He said softly as they walked out to follow the others.
Althea glanced to Naru as they walked through a forest to the nearest avian village. Naru was discussing with Toran what he had heard from the humans while he was in the dungeon. She was still chocked from the sight of Naruâ€™s magic, and was amused by his abnormal appearance compared to the other bird humanus. The long peacock tail behind him was about 10 feet long, and dragged like a bridal train. His hair was made of longer green and blue feathers with a series of Mohawk-like antennae feathers along his head. There was no doubt that he was a peacock, even without his brown wings.
She noticed that while he was walking he was starting to slow down, falling behind everyone has his breath got heavy.
â€œAre you okay?â€ Althea asked, slowing to walk beside him.
â€œIâ€™m not sure, Iâ€™m in a lot of pain again.â€ Naru tried to look at the bandage over his shoulder blades, but couldnâ€™t quite see it.
â€œLet me check.â€ Althea looked at his back, her heard skipping a beat when she saw the blood-soaked bandages, dripping down the blue feathers of his back.
â€œHey Toran, could we stop at a river or creek or something?â€ Althea called out Toran, who was walking ahead with the rest of the group.
â€œSure.â€ He called back, then continued his conversation with Umou.
â€œThat bad, huh?â€ Naru asked quietly.
â€œYouâ€™re bleeding a lot. I just want to wash your wound and back, and clean out the bandages.â€
Naru looked back at her in silence for a bit, but smiled as he looked away. â€œWhere are you from, anyway? Toran never answered.â€
â€œIâ€™m from Michigan.â€ Althea said quietly, patting the mirror tied to her belt, making sure it was safe.
â€œMitchieagin? Weird name for a town.â€ Naru whispered thoughtfully. â€œWhere in the human kingdom is that?â€
â€œItâ€™s not. I picked up a mirror in Michigan, and wound up in a huge field. Toran found me.â€
Woah- wait.â€ Naru stopped in his tracks, looking at Althea in surprise. â€œYouâ€™re from the mirror? Like the legend?â€
Althea sighed and took the mirror off her belt, showing the shattered glass to naru. He took it from her and turned it around, studying it in interest.
â€œI want to find a way back home. Mu family is probably worried sick about me.â€
â€œSo then you donâ€™t know magic, because in your world there isnâ€™t magic?â€
â€œNo, no real magic, only tricks. No humanus either, just normal animals who canâ€™t talk.â€
Naru stayed silent for a bit, then looked away from Althea nervously. â€œSo you like humanus?â€
Althea smiled softly. â€œTheyâ€™re different, thatâ€™s for sure. But I like you guys just fine. I guess Iâ€™m still getting used to the idea of humanoid animals talking to me.â€
â€œIâ€™m still getting used to the idea of a human who canâ€™t do magic.â€ Naru chickled. â€œMaybe you just donâ€™t know how to use it?â€
Althea shrugged as they started walking again, trying to catch up with the others.
â€œAlright, weâ€™re just about to the village. Thereâ€™s a river nearvy, Althea.â€ Toran pointed to a body of water in the distance.
â€œIâ€™ll go and wash Naruâ€™s wounds. You guys bring the kids to the village and get them settled.â€ Althea said with a smile, walking with Naru to the water. He hissed as his feet dipped into the cold water, but he walked into the waves quickly, shivering at the temperature as he held his tail feathers above the water.
â€œJust be careful alright? I donâ€™t want to lose any more feathers than I already have.â€ Naru smirked back to Althea as she started unwrapping the bandage from around him, resting her head against his shoulder as she reached around his chest to unravel the cloth. Naru tensed slightly, but relaxed as Althea stood again. She hissed in pity at the bloody mess that were the remains of the wings that had once sprung from Naruâ€™s back. The exposed bone was cracked and jagged, showing that the bone hadnâ€™t been cut, but had been broken off. She took the cloth and soaked it in the water for a bit before starting to rinse out Naruâ€™s back by wringing the water onto his back. He arched his spine at the cold water, letting out a yelp of surprise.
â€œWhat are you doing back there?â€ He tried to turn his head to see her, but the pain stopped him from turning all the way around.
â€œIf I donâ€™t rinse it out, itâ€™ll get infected and then youâ€™ll have big problems. Just calm down.â€ Althea chuckled as Naru held his tail feathers protectively against his chest. She washed out his wounds, then scrubbed the blood out of the down-like feathers of his back, a few of the feathers coming off onto her arms.
â€œDo you molt at all?â€ Althea laughed as she looked down at the bright blue feathers all over her.
â€œYeah, why? Is it time already?â€ Naru looked down at the blue feathers floating in the river down the current, and shook his head in dismay. â€œFigures. It must only be the feathers on my back, though.â€
â€œWell what do we have here?â€ A voice said, making Althea and Naru jump and turn around to see a man standing at the bank of the river, grinning at them wildly. â€œIs the girly washing her birdie? Oh look, the bird must have lost his wings somehow.â€ The man pouted mockingly.
â€œWho are you?â€ Althea demanded, knowing that this human must be an enemy to mock Naru in such a way.
â€œMy name is Sei, bitch. You have some nerve, donâ€™t you? Traveling with our enemy when you could be on the winning side of this war. Your stupidity will cost your life, girl.â€ Sei smiled as he unsheathed his sword. Naru stepped back nervously at the sight, and glanced behind him only to see a girl watching him intently from a branch in a tree on the opposite bank. She waved to him happily, jumping down from the branch.
Naru looked from one human to the other before making a squeak of fear and raising his hands into the air, shooting a bright golden pillar of light above him, hoping to signal Toran and the others to come help them before it was too late.


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## Phoenixwildfire (Jul 12, 2008)

Chapter 8- Too Late

â€œThere you go peeps, this will be your new family. Be good for them, alright?â€ Toran smiled to the small girl as she looked up at the raven couple before her. 
â€œOkay Toran. Come back soon, okay?â€ Peeps hugged Toranâ€™s leg happily and ran to the couple, giggling as the male raven humanus picked her up and tossed her into the air playfully. Toran smiled in satisfaction and turned around, but felt a hot sensation against his back. He turned around to stare at the huge pillar of golden light in horror, his green eyes widening in fear when he realized that Naru must be signaling for help. 
Althea was with him.
â€œShit!â€ Toran yelled, unsheathing his sword as he ran through the streets of the village, trying to find the quickest route to the river. Xicro looked up at the light as well and froze, unwrapping his whip against from his hip, winding the end of it around his wrist as he ran after Toran.
â€œRadica, hurry!â€ Xicro called behind his shoulder at the lynx, who nodded and started running as well. Humanus everywhere panicked at the sight of magic in the distance and ran into their houses as Toran and the other passed, yells coming from all around him.
â€œEveryone get inside! No one come out until I say you can!â€ Toran yelled to the people in the village as he ran, looking at the river wildly as he saw four figures in the distance, Naru lowering his hands as the pillar of light faded. 

â€œMagic?â€ Sei looked at Naru in shock, and the shock soon turned into anger. â€œNo humanus should be able to do magic. How can you?â€ 
â€œHeâ€™s a peacock brother. Remember what our mother told us? Peacocks are special. A little too special, I think.â€ Rain glared at Naru, who looked at the two humans nervously. He gulped nervously before grabbing Althea by the hip and dragging her closer to him, holding out his hands in threat. 
â€œCome closer and you both fry. You know how magic works, and I know how to make it into a weapon.â€ He said, his voice wavering slightly. 
â€œAw look, the little birdieâ€™s trying to use his talons. What should we do with him, Rain?â€ Sei smiled down to Naru, who watched him warily, put kept his arms up. 
â€œI think itâ€™s time the peacocks were wiped out. Theyâ€™re a little too flashy for my taste anyway.â€ Rain smiled as she held out her hand to Naru, a faint white glow forming in her palm. She looked up in surprise as a flash of blur jumped over Sei, landing in front of him with a low growl. 
Toran crouched low to the ground, his teeth bared as he stared at the human in front of him, the sword in his hand aching for a battle. He let out a low cat-like growl as his eyes narrowed at Seiâ€™s triumphant laugh.
â€œWell look who we have here!â€ Sei yelled to his sister, locking swords with Toran. Althea watched in horror as Toran rolled out from under the sword, standing his full height before Sei as he went in for another attack. Meanwhile Xicro was running toward the bank of the river, swinging his whip around him. He threw it so that it locked around a tree branch and used it to swing himself across the water, landing in front of Rain with a wide grin. He pulled at the whip and the branch broke under the metalâ€™s strain, freeing the whip.
â€œAnd who might you be?â€ Rain smiled sweetly. 
â€œIâ€™m the librarian.â€ Xicro smiled mockingly, and swung his whip around him again, preparing for another attack. 
â€œXicro, watch out!â€ Radica yelled as a white form started forming in Rainâ€™s hand. Xicro glanced at the palm with wide eyes, not able to stop his own whip, lest he hit himself instead of Rain. Radica ran over to him, jumping over the river before landing in front of him before the white light burst from Rainâ€™s hand, hitting Radica in the chest as she flung two spikes from her hands. Rain cried out in pain as the spikes landed in her upper arm. Xicro caught Radica as she fell, looking down at her burned chest in horror. 
â€œRadica?â€ he whispered, hardly able to believe what she had just done for him. She chuckled in his arms, coughing up blood as she looked up at him. She tried to talk, but no air would come out of her mouth. She twitched slightly, her eyes wide as she gasped for breath before finally staying still, her eyes open wide in fear. 
â€œRadica.â€ Althea gasped, looking over to Toran as he fought a fierce battle with Sei. He jumped back a few steps to catch his breath, and caught sight of Radica. Toran froze for a minute before going back to battle, his swings fueled with anger. Sei glanced to his sister and seeing that she was wounded, bared his teeth in an equal amount of rage. Naru still held a tight grip around Altheaâ€™s waist, refusing to let her go into battle and help Xicro and Toran. 
â€œSei!â€ Rain looked to her brother as he stepped away from another clash with Toran. He looked at Rain and nodded, stepping away a few more steps before starting to run in the opposite direction, Sei following him from the other side of the river. 
â€œCoward, get back here!â€ Toran yelled, but sheathed his sword, knowing a retreat when he saw one. He saw Althea scramble up the side of the bank to get to Radica, her eyes wide as she looked down at the lynxâ€™s burned body. 
â€œNo, I only just met her.â€ Althea choked as Xicro held Radica in his arms tightly, hardly able to believe that she was really gone. 
â€œAlthea!â€ Naru yelled as a burst of red light hit Althea on the back, making her yell in pain and slump forward. Naru struggled to fight the current as Toran jumped over the river, leaning next to Althea and sat her up again, careful not to touch her back. She looked up at him with tears of pain in her eyes, but looked away, not wanting him to see her tears. 
â€œI-it hurts.â€ She whispered, her eyes clenching closed as she felt blood dripping down her back. 
â€œSit her up more.â€ Naru said, having climbed up the bank of the river and kneeled on the other side of Althea. 
Toran nodded and Naru wrapped the bandages around her that she had put on him and washed. He tied it in front, leaning away from her. 
â€œI canâ€™t believe this.â€ Toran looked first at Radica, then at Althea. 
â€œThatâ€™s the price of war, Toran. Death isnâ€™t pleasant.â€ Xicro said in a brittle voice and stood, holding Radica in his arms as he tried to cross the river again to get to the village. 
â€œShe fell asleep.â€ Naru said, looking down at Altheaâ€™s closed eyes curiously.
â€œNo, she fainted.â€ Toran said in concern, carefully putting his arms under her to carry her to the village as well. 
â€œShe told me where she was from. She has to get back to her own world, Toran. She doesnâ€™t belong in all of this.â€ Naru looked down at Altheaâ€™s pained face.
Toran stood with Althea in his arms and nodded in agreement. â€œI just hope she can get back after all that sheâ€™s been through. I honestly donâ€™t know how to do it.â€ Toran looked to Naru anxiously. â€œCan you heal with your magic?â€
â€œOnly scratches, and not anything as deep as that. I could try, though.â€ Naru looked at Altheaâ€™s back, noticing the pale skin exposed by her singed dress. â€œWeâ€™ll have to put the bandages on better quickly though, or sheâ€™ll only get worse.â€
â€œWhat about your back?â€
â€œSheâ€™s worse than me now, Iâ€™ll live.â€ Naru shrugged, and jumped into the river to wade to the other side, Toran behind him with Althea.


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## reallydude (Jul 13, 2008)

Phoenixwildfire said:


> Chapter 8- Too Late
> 
> â€œThere you go peeps, this will be your new family. Be good for them, alright?â€ Toran smiled to the small girl as she looked up at the raven couple before her.
> â€œOkay Toran. Come back soon, okay?â€ Peeps hugged Toranâ€™s leg happily and ran to the couple, giggling as the male raven humanus picked her up and tossed her into the air playfully. Toran smiled in satisfaction and turned around, but felt a hot sensation against his back. He turned around to stare at the huge pillar of golden light in horror, his green eyes widening in fear when he realized that Naru must be signaling for help.
> Althea was with him...



For this and all of your other chapters, put a line between if paragraph if you can't indent; typically, if I see a wall of text I hit "back."


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## Shotgunjim (Aug 9, 2009)

I'm currently working on a fiction called _Crucible of Deliverance_. The story begins in 2013 and stars me as the main character. 

After surviving a Coronal Mass Ejection that hits the planet and the subsequent war, riots, and civil strife, I find myself in the company of a race of anthros that were created secretly by the U.S. government as black project soldiers. During the apocalyptic destruction of human society, they managed to escape from their secret bases in isolated locations around the world. Three divisions of this secret anthropomorphic army end up in my hometown. After unknowingly stealing supplies from them, they capture me and detain me for interrogation. I discover that they are at war with a movement of humans who resent their presence, and they think that I am one of these humans, and that I was sent to steal those supplies from them. I try to convince them that I have no affiliations with those other humans, but they are unconvinced by my words, so I am given two options: 

Die or fight for them to prove my innocence. 

As the story progresses, I learn more about their plight and decide to join them and help them fight so that they can freely exist in peace. I come to gain more and more of their trust and respect, and I eventually become their leader. I guide them and convince humans who are indifferent about the anthros that they not a threat to them, and that they just want to retain the right to exist peacefully. In the end, we defeat the humans who regard the anthros with such extreme fear and hate, and together, they and humanity are able to rebuild civilization and look forward to a promising future.

So far, I have completed three chapters. Here are the links:

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/2500874

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/2587214/

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/2627002/


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