# What do you do to help curb depression and anxiety? And other thoughts I have.



## MEDDL3r (Jul 12, 2018)

Hope this is posted in the right place. I have been dealing with depression and anxiety for 10+ years. I deal with hating my self, low self image, no motivation and bad social anxiety. I am on a medication regimen but it isn't helping as much as it used to. I'm curious as to what's working for you medication wise(if you want to share)and other things that have helped. Thx for sharing in advance.


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## Murphy (Jul 12, 2018)

Exercise, good diet and plenty of sleep does a lot more for your mental health than people realize. Also putting yourself out there; going out to concerts, coffee shops or bars and just having fun making small talk with people. With good friends it’s easier to not feel so lonely. Am also medicated for anxiety and major depression. But doing all these things I now have a great friend group, am known at a lot of spots around town, and have some pretty fun hobbies.  I’m a lot happier these days even if it meant making myself uncomfortable a lot of times. And don’t underestimate the power of talk therapy. It’s helped me a lot and studying why my brain works the way it does has helped.

Also try doing volunteer work! Animal shelters and soup kitchens can give you a sense of pride when that “I’m worthless” thought creeps into your head. 

Having a job you like is crucial since it’s one of the things you spend most of your time doing. I work with dogs and honestly having a dog pile on me helped a lot on days I felt like utter shit and wanted to die 90% of the time. 



I hope this helped!


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## MEDDL3r (Jul 12, 2018)

Every piece of information helps, whether it's new or something you've heard before. I have never made a forum post like this before, so I'm already a little bit out of my comfort zone. I care way too much about what other people think about me and feel like I'm being judged when out in public. I know its all in my head, but it keeps scratching at your psyche until it breaks you. This next part is hard to admit, I'm 27 and have never had a girlfriend. I dealt with medical problems from 5th grade through my sophomore year. I missed a lot of school and I feel that it contributed to my depression and anxiety. I only hung out with two people during that time and consider them like family. Sometimes feel like I don't deserve to find someone to love and care for. My thoughts on this go back and forth so much that I find it hard to care. There's more to this but i I'll end it here for now.


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## MEDDL3r (Jul 13, 2018)

I wanted to find a forum where i felt comfortable sharing this info with people. I looked at specialized forums specifically for that but never felt comfortable sharing there. I'm not sure why, but i feel different here. I feel like people here will be more understanding than other forums. I've also been meaning to look into a psychiatrist again. I used to see counselors and stuff when i was younger, but never felt comfortable sharing. I feel like i'm oversharing and that i should stop, but i decided to take a chance here. My goal here and any forums i join is to make new friends, hopefully that happens and i gain back some confidence.


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## Murphy (Jul 13, 2018)

Well I’m here to be a friend if you need.  Opening up can be a huge weight off your shoulders. Confidence can take time to build up but people can sense it when you’re not sure of yourself and it can make people distant. (Sometimes it comes off as the shy person being an asshole but really they’re just, well, shy!)  For dating try an app like Tinder or OkCupid, I’ve met a lot of really cool people off of both. The more you do it the easier it gets. And it does get easier.


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## MEDDL3r (Jul 13, 2018)

Thanks, ill take you up on that offer. I've been needing to find some new friends. A little off topic here but your avatar is super adorable. I'm not sure what to use for mine. I've tried to use my actual pic a few times but was met with people saying im ugly and fat.


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## Murphy (Jul 13, 2018)

MEDDL3r said:


> Thanks, ill take you up on that offer. I've been needing to find some new friends. A little off topic here but your avatar is super adorable. I'm not sure what to use for mine. I've tried to use my actual pic a few times but was met with people saying im ugly and fat.


Fuck those people. And thank you! I’m sure there’s a ton of free avatars on the main site. (I wish I could remember who did mine lol)
Or commission someone to make one for you! Then you can personalize it. Some artists have edit-able avatars for free so you can design it yourself. :3


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## GarnetFerrum (Jul 13, 2018)

MEDDL3r said:


> Thanks, ill take you up on that offer. I've been needing to find some new friends. A little off topic here but your avatar is super adorable. I'm not sure what to use for mine. I've tried to use my actual pic a few times but was met with people saying im ugly and fat.


Ignore them, no one asked what they thought; if they just go around insulting others, they're the ones with a problem.


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## MEDDL3r (Jul 13, 2018)

I'll have to find a free one. I'm completely broke atm. I just want to say thank you for extending your hand in friendship and being so kind. The internet is so full of toxic assholes that its hard to find a forum or even a game server where the majority of people are kind.


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## MEDDL3r (Jul 13, 2018)

GarnetFerrum said:


> Ignore them, no one asked what they thought; if they just go around insulting others, they're the ones with a problem.


Thats all i have ever run into, people saying horrible to you for the sole purpose of destroying your self-esteem. It worked quite often and would send into a day or two of feeling bad about my self. Thats partly why i turn voice chat off in games.


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## GarnetFerrum (Jul 13, 2018)

MEDDL3r said:


> I'll have to find a free one. I'm completely broke atm. I just want to say thank you for extending your hand in friendship and being so kind. The internet is so full of toxic assholes that its hard to find a forum or even a game server where the majority of people are kind.


Don't worry, most of us here are pretty chill. I know just how toxic the rest of the world can be; just by reading some peoples comments elsewhere sometimes make me question if they even have empathy


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## GarnetFerrum (Jul 13, 2018)

MEDDL3r said:


> Thats all i have ever run into, people saying horrible to you for the sole purpose of destroying your self-esteem. It worked quite often and would send into a day or two of feeling bad about my self. Thats partly why i turn voice chat off in games.


It sickens me that people would hide behind a screen and make fun of others; I highly doubt they would ever attempt it face to face.


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## MEDDL3r (Jul 13, 2018)

I'm ashamed to say it, but i used to be like that when i was younger. I feel like a lot of people are but they wont admit it. I finally chilled out around 17. Now i try to not judge people or make fun of them. Love and respect is more of what this world needs. I'm sad it took me that long to figure it out.


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## GarnetFerrum (Jul 13, 2018)

MEDDL3r said:


> I'm ashamed to say it, but i used to be like that when i was younger. I feel like a lot of people are but they wont admit it. I finally chilled out around 17. Now i try to not judge people or make fun of them. Love and respect is more of what this world needs. I'm sad it took me that long to figure it out.


At least you learned. Some others are still walking around who don't get the message. And besides, you were young. Grown adults who do it are the ones who should be ashamed.


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## Murphy (Jul 13, 2018)

The fur community is one of the best online communities I’ve ever been apart of. I’m sorry some people were so rude, they’re probably just children tbh. I can’t imagine someone in their twenties being so pathetic as to insult a person they’ve never met or spoken to.


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## GarnetFerrum (Jul 13, 2018)

Murphy said:


> The fur community is one of the best online communities I’ve ever been apart of. I’m sorry some people were so rude, they’re probably just children tbh. I can’t imagine someone in their twenties being so pathetic as to insult a person they’ve never met or spoken to.


You'd be surprised


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## Murphy (Jul 13, 2018)

GarnetFerrum said:


> You'd be surprised


Yeah as soon as I wrote that I thought, “weeeeelllll...” lol. Take solace in the fact they act out like that because there’s something wrong. I feel bad for people like more than I feel angry at them.


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## MEDDL3r (Jul 13, 2018)

I'm really new to the community. I never thought of myself as a furry. Idk if there's specific criteria to be called a furry. I've never done a cosplay of one. I just love all the adorable female anthro illustrations. Makes me wish matrix like vr was real. That fur would take cuddling to a whole new level and add an extra layer of warmth in the winter. Thanks to rule34, I enjoy quite a few interesting things.


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## GarnetFerrum (Jul 13, 2018)

MEDDL3r said:


> I'm really new to the community. I never thought of myself as a furry. Idk if there's specific criteria to be called a furry. I've never done a cosplay of one. I just love all the adorable female anthro illustrations. Makes me wish matrix like vr was real. That fur would take cuddling to a whole new level and add an extra layer of warmth in the winter. Thanks to rule34, I enjoy quite a few interesting things.



Fursuiting is not a requirement. I've never been in the same room as one before.

Also, yes, give me the vr matrix. I need!


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## Murphy (Jul 13, 2018)

I’m not a fursuiter either. But I’ve designed a ton of characters and do online role plays as them. It’s a lot of fun. If I had a tail and wiggly ears irl I’d be sooo happy.


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## MEDDL3r (Jul 13, 2018)

Murphy said:


> I’m not a fursuiter either. But I’ve designed a ton of characters and do online role plays as them. It’s a lot of fun. If I had a tail and wiggly ears irl I’d be sooo happy.



And super adorable


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## GarnetFerrum (Jul 13, 2018)

Murphy said:


> I’m not a fursuiter either. But I’ve designed a ton of characters and do online role plays as them. It’s a lot of fun. If I had a tail and wiggly ears irl I’d be sooo happy.


Yes, my sona has nine fluffy tails, probably double the size of my body. Being wrapped in them would be bliss. Give me


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## MEDDL3r (Jul 13, 2018)

I've never imagined myself as a furry. I wonder what I would look like drawn as one. When I can afford it maybe I'll look into it.  But that wont be for awhile.


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## GarnetFerrum (Jul 13, 2018)

MEDDL3r said:


> I've never imagined myself as a furry. I wonder what I would look like drawn as one. When I can afford it maybe I'll look into it.  But that wont be for awhile.



Don't worry too much about it. I've been a furry for years, and only got my sona commissioned last weekend. Just get something it mind


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## Murphy (Jul 13, 2018)

MEDDL3r said:


> I've never imagined myself as a furry. I wonder what I would look like drawn as one. When I can afford it maybe I'll look into it.  But that wont be for awhile.


One of the forums here is specifically for art requests! Make a post there. All I did was add my hair color, eye color and body type and toss some of my hobbies and fantasies in the mix. Boom. Fursona. Other than that stuff Mur has a pretty simple design. 

Make a request and if you like it, you can pay to commission the same artist later when you’re able to. Some are incredibly cheap too. Like $5-$20.


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## MEDDL3r (Jul 13, 2018)

Since I started talking with you I feel a bit better. I'm racking my brain to think of things to talk about, but I'm running out of ideas. I'll take suggestions if you have any.


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## GarnetFerrum (Jul 13, 2018)

MEDDL3r said:


> Since I started talking with you I feel a bit better. I'm racking my brain to think of things to talk about, but I'm running out of ideas. I'll take suggestions if you have any.


Although I would love to keep chatting, it's one in the mourning for me, and I got things to do tomorrow. Would love to continue later!  owo


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## Murphy (Jul 13, 2018)

That makes us happy to hear/read.  This is probably the most productive I’ve been all day.


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## GarnetFerrum (Jul 13, 2018)

Murphy said:


> That makes us happy to hear/read.  This is probably the most productive I’ve been all day.


Same. Night everyone!


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## Pandox_Paradox (Jul 13, 2018)

Anxiety and depression? Sounds right up my alley (unfortunately). 
I've found that writing down three things that made me happy that day helps a great deal while helping me focus on the positive aspects of my day as well. Something as small as seeing a cute dog, noticing how blue the sky was, or a passing happy thought/memory. Whatever it is, write that shit down. If it made you feel the smallest inkling of happiness; it counts. 
It also helps to learn how and when to say "fuck it". Some things aren't worth worrying about. Take the time you would have spent worrying about something going wrong or something that happened in your past and use it towards your future. 
With social anxiety I went with a different approach. Those people you're scared might be judging? They don't know anything about you yet. They don't know if you're nice, mean, or psycho until you've given them a reason to think those things. Also, remember most people are so busy going about their day that they don't pay a lot of attention to those around them. And if you're freaking out about doing something embarrassing; remember that they'll forget about whatever you did in a few minutes. Embarrassing moments happen to everyone. We fuck up, we laugh, we go on about our day.


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## Murphy (Jul 13, 2018)

Ni niiiii


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## MEDDL3r (Jul 13, 2018)

Goodnight


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## Murphy (Jul 13, 2018)

Pandox_Paradox said:


> mAnd if you're freaking out about doing something embarrassing; remember that they'll forget about whatever you did in a few minutes. Embarrassing moments happen to everyone. We fuck up, we laugh, we go on about our day.


Reminds me of the quote, “You wouldn’t care so much of what others think of you if you realize how seldom they do.” I say it to myself whenever I’m feeling self-conscious.


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## MEDDL3r (Jul 13, 2018)

I am a huge fan of trance. Are any of you? If not, genre of choice. Off topic but i need things to talk about.


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## Murphy (Jul 13, 2018)

MEDDL3r said:


> I am a huge fan of trance. Are any of you? If not, genre of choice. Off topic but i need things to talk about.


Dubstep and electronic music all day everyday. Also I’m a little obsessed with Gorillaz’ new “Humility” off their new album. It actually has pretty relevant lyrics.


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## Pandox_Paradox (Jul 13, 2018)

Murphy said:


> Dubstep and electronic music all day everyday. Also I’m a little obsessed with Gorillaz’ new “Humility” off their new album. It actually has pretty relevant lyrics.


 Gorillaz are one of my favorite bands. Shoutout to "Kansas" on their new album. Glad 2D finally got a chance to sing in this album compared to Humanz haha


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## MEDDL3r (Jul 13, 2018)

Pandox_Paradox said:


> Anxiety and depression? Sounds right up my alley (unfortunately).
> I've found that writing down three things that made me happy that day helps a great deal while helping me focus on the positive aspects of my day as well. Something as small as seeing a cute dog, noticing how blue the sky was, or a passing happy thought/memory. Whatever it is, write that shit down. If it made you feel the smallest inkling of happiness; it counts.
> It also helps to learn how and when to say "fuck it". Some things aren't worth worrying about. Take the time you would have spent worrying about something going wrong or something that happened in your past and use it towards your future.
> With social anxiety I went with a different approach. Those people you're scared might be judging? They don't know anything about you yet. They don't know if you're nice, mean, or psycho until you've given them a reason to think those things. Also, remember most people are so busy going about their day that they don't pay a lot of attention to those around them. And if you're freaking out about doing something embarrassing; remember that they'll forget about whatever you did in a few minutes. Embarrassing moments happen to everyone. We fuck up, we laugh, we go on about our day.


Thanks for the advice. I never thought to write things down that make me happy. I have a real problem worrying about things that I have no control over. After years of avoiding it, i plan on seeing a psychiatrist.


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## Murphy (Jul 13, 2018)

Pandox_Paradox said:


> Gorillaz are one of my favorite bands. Shoutout to "Kansas" on their new album. Glad 2D finally got a chance to sing in this album compared to Humanz haha


I know right? But I guess that’s why the album was called Humanz. Cause it was mostly other humans and not the Gorillaz.

Also I saw them live here in Atlanta and it was so freaking awesome.


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## MEDDL3r (Jul 13, 2018)

How has your experience  with rp been? I've been interested in that sort of thing for a long time, but never had the confidence to try it. I figured i would screw it up in some way, shape or form and have everyone else bitch at me fr screwing up. I live in my imagination, that's not the problem. I would be interested in trying one out at some point. Just wondering if there's a firm set of rules or if it depends on the rp.


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## Murphy (Jul 13, 2018)

MEDDL3r said:


> How has your experience  with rp been? I've been interested in that sort of thing for a long time, but never had the confidence to try it. I figured i would screw it up in some way, shape or form and have everyone else bitch at me fr screwing up. I live in my imagination, that's not the problem. I would be interested in trying one out at some point. Just wondering if there's a firm set of rules or if it depends on the rp.


It’s fun! Some times it can get weird but you learn as you go. I started in elementary school roleplaying as my Neopets lol. I made a ton of friends doing it, too. I was terrible at it but the more you do it the better you get. Try with just one other person and then once you get a feel for that go for group RPs. 
The “unwritten” rules you’ll learn as you go. Like you don’t have control over another person’s characters or their actions. Also don’t use netspeak. I can’t think of any more but it’s 3am here so I’m super sleepy lol.


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## MEDDL3r (Jul 13, 2018)

Sounds like you need some sleep! Its 2 A.M. here and I'm gonna try for some sleep. It was fun talking with ya. If your on tomorrow maybe we can pick this up then. Goodnight


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## Nakita (Jul 13, 2018)

A nutritious diet with plenty of water, as someone already mentioned, is very crucial to your wellbeing. Getting a little or too much sleep can sometimes increase depressive symptoms, so I always try and set myself a schedule. 

Making sure your vitamin D levels are high can make a big difference is your overal mood. Usually the required amount to spend outside per day is at least 15 minutes in the sun. Depending on where you live (for example I live pretty far North), it can be hard to do that in the winter. I take supplements and use a happy light to try and keep my levels steady.

Excercise is definitely an important factor, as it increases the endorphins (the famous happy chemicals) that your body produces. 

And of course, socializing is always good for your self esteem. Groups therapy, meeting up with friends, going to events, and doing fun things in general can cheer you up. 

Making art, watching movies, playing games, and hugging my animals give me comfort. I have a long history with mental illness, so I've spent many years trying to find things that might help take the edge off of them. The things I listed are usually the ones recommend by health professionals. And if you ever want to talk, I'm here. Best of luck!


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## MEDDL3r (Jul 13, 2018)

Well, woke up with a headache. I am still surprised at how much better I feel since last night. Its like I can breathe easier. I'm currently sitting here watching some good eats with nothing major happening. I'm also still working on physical therapy for some shoulder surgery I had at the end of May. If you want to get know me better just ask.


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## Murphy (Jul 13, 2018)

MEDDL3r said:


> Well, woke up with a headache. I am still surprised at how much better I feel since last night. Its like I can breathe easier. I'm currently sitting here watching some good eats with nothing major happening. I'm also still working on physical therapy for some shoulder surgery I had at the end of May. If you want to get know me better just ask.


Hey hey I’m glad you’re feeling better.  What kind of shoulder injury did you have..?


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## real time strategist (Jul 13, 2018)

MEDDL3r said:


> How has your experience  with rp been? I've been interested in that sort of thing for a long time, but never had the confidence to try it. I figured i would screw it up in some way, shape or form and have everyone else bitch at me fr screwing up. I live in my imagination, that's not the problem. I would be interested in trying one out at some point. Just wondering if there's a firm set of rules or if it depends on the rp.


Don't worry about people judging you In  rp, you don't really find too many dickbags in rp very often, hell, people used to tell me at the end of rps when I was around 8 or 9 that it was the best rp experience they have ever had, and my spelling and way with rp was usually shit like *DA MANNE GO RUN AND SCREM FORM DA MOBNSTER AND SAY "AH NO NOT FA MONSTRE", and everyone just carried on like it was normal, so don't worry, the worst you will get is some friendly help on how to rp better.


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## Skychickens (Jul 13, 2018)

My last rounds of therapy taught me some cognitive behavioral therapy and things like grounding that often help. Going to church (it’s a unitarian universalist and a pagan group is there once a month) taking one day a week to visit a close friend and practice my martial arts, Being able to talk to my teeeeeny support group and removing myself from as many toxic situations as possible. When all things fail, I have medication. Oh and being able to eat better and more consistently does wonders. 

Like I don’t recommend this much but turns out my wife had enough saved for a couple months of my pay if I needed it. After tons of meltdowns and nearly going suicidal again I quit. I stayed long enough to cover my bills for a month for my own sanity and I’ve been doing art commissions and such this week. The last time I was this happy was when I was a copy editor and had just moved away from my toxic living environment.


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## Infrarednexus (Jul 13, 2018)

I take lots of anti depressant pills and follow a regular sleep schedule. I also try to maintain a reasonable diet and amount of exercise. When I am feeling depressed, I lock myself in my room and spend all day in bed, or I'll go to substance abuse and drink till I can't stand up straight. Sometimes if it's really bad I'll think of committing suicide. I feel these ways from work, college, responsibilities, and just life in general. I try to go outside just for a little bit, spend some quality time with my dogs, or watch something comedic on television to make me laugh. Anything to help keep me from getting any worse. I've seen a therapist a couple of times, and they were able to give me some useful advice to overcome such issues.


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## MEDDL3r (Jul 13, 2018)

Murphy said:


> Hey hey I’m glad you’re feeling better.  What kind of shoulder injury did you have..?


Shoulder impingement. It was rubbing against my rotator cuff causing red striations on it. Didn't tear tho and the excess bone was cauterized and shaved off. It took 6+ months before it was fix. Trying to get pain meds for it was nearly impossible. This so called "opiate crisis" is mostly heroin od's. There using that to limit everyone and give them as little as possible. I'll stop ranting, that topic just pisses me. I hate when the gov't intervenes with this kind of stuff.


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## MEDDL3r (Jul 13, 2018)

Skychickens said:


> My last rounds of therapy taught me some cognitive behavioral therapy and things like grounding that often help. Going to church (it’s a unitarian universalist and a pagan group is there once a month) taking one day a week to visit a close friend and practice my martial arts, Being able to talk to my teeeeeny support group and removing myself from as many toxic situations as possible. When all things fail, I have medication. Oh and being able to eat better and more consistently does wonders.
> 
> Like I don’t recommend this much but turns out my wife had enough saved for a couple months of my pay if I needed it. After tons of meltdowns and nearly going suicidal again I quit. I stayed long enough to cover my bills for a month for my own sanity and I’ve been doing art commissions and such this week. The last time I was this happy was when I was a copy editor and had just moved away from my toxic living environment.


I'm glad your feeling better. I've been meaning to back to church(I belong to Wisconsin Evangelical Lutheran Synod) but there are some people there that caused me some problems during school. Thanks for the advice.


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## Skychickens (Jul 13, 2018)

MEDDL3r said:


> I'm glad your feeling better. I've been meaning to back to church(I belong to Wisconsin Evangelical Lutheran Synod) but there are some people there that caused me some problems during school. Thanks for the advice.


It helped me at least to find one. I'm not saying it's for everyone but I figured I'd offer. I hope something helps you too!


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## MEDDL3r (Jul 13, 2018)

Infrarednexus said:


> I take lots of anti depressant pills and follow a regular sleep schedule. I also try to maintain a reasonable diet and amount of exercise. When I am feeling depressed, I lock myself in my room and spend all day in bed, or I'll go to substance abuse and drink till I can't stand up straight. Sometimes if it's really bad I'll think of committing suicide. I feel these ways from work, college, responsibilities, and just life in general. I try to go outside just for a little bit, spend some quality time with my dogs, or watch something comedic on television to make me laugh. Anything to help keep me from getting any worse. I've seen a therapist a couple of times, and they were able to give me some useful advice to overcome such issues.


I hope your feeling better. I would love to have a dog, I had one when I was younger. Money is the issue tho. Can't afford to take care of one right now. I also plan on seeing a psychiatrist soon(gonna call for refferal on monday).


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## MEDDL3r (Jul 13, 2018)

real time strategist said:


> Don't worry about people judging you In  rp, you don't really find too many dickbags in rp very often, hell, people used to tell me at the end of rps when I was around 8 or 9 that it was the best rp experience they have ever had, and my spelling and way with rp was usually shit like *DA MANNE GO RUN AND SCREM FORM DA MOBNSTER AND SAY "AH NO NOT FA MONSTRE", and everyone just carried on like it was normal, so don't worry, the worst you will get is some friendly help on how to rp better.


I have always wanted to rp, particularly d&d. I never new enough people to try it and with social anxiety and no self-confidence lead me to never trying. I do want to try out some rp's tho.


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## MEDDL3r (Jul 13, 2018)

I'm always interested cute characters Skychickens. I would love to commission you to design a character, after I get some cash tho. I also have to figure out the finer details as well.


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## MEDDL3r (Jul 13, 2018)

I am starting work on my fursona and am seeking help for a name. I've never been good at coming up with names for anything. I am looking for a male oriented names. If you have an idea, feel free to drop a post here


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## MEDDL3r (Jul 13, 2018)

If anyone is interested, I posted a pic in irl photos thread. I may upload a more recent pic soon.


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## MEDDL3r (Jul 18, 2018)

Well, I'll be seeing a psychiatrist in the next month or so. I'm hoping results are quick, but I do realize that it can take time. I haven't been truly happy in a long time. I am definitely nervous for change, but It's long overdue. I also decided to cut my main anti-depressant dosage in half. I have been mulling it over for awhile and decided that it would be worth trying. If I'm right, my anxiety should lessen by a considerable amount.


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## ScrewLoose (Jul 18, 2018)

Honestly, my meds kinda work, but not enough.
I got depression. I always have. Always been lonely and awkward. But most of my problems anger. I get mad, I lash out, I fight and argue over things. I try. I try everyday. I'm getting better somehow. My heads been fogged up and I've been extra angry a while now. Some days I can't hardly drive my heads in such a mess. 
Upping my meds got me real bad the last few days but now I'm better than I was before. In that time I've wronged a few other furries online and that has made me feel (rightfully) worse. And for how I acted I don't deserve for them to forgive me.
I'm not too happy right now. I never was happy to begin with. I was born pissed off and I will likely die the same. It's in my spirit. But the way I deal with depression is I just get up everyday and go to work. One foot in front of the other. I'm thankful to even have work. So many folks don't. If it weren't for work I'd probably have gone completely insane by now.
I think meds though is what's keeping me calm enough.
Have you tried celexa? Talk to your doctor. Shit actually works for once.


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## MEDDL3r (Jul 18, 2018)

ScrewLoose said:


> Honestly, my meds kinda work, but not enough.
> I got depression. I always have. Always been lonely and awkward. But most of my problems anger. I get mad, I lash out, I fight and argue over things. I try. I try everyday. I'm getting better somehow. My heads been fogged up and I've been extra angry a while now. Some days I can't hardly drive my heads in such a mess.
> Upping my meds got me real bad the last few days but now I'm better than I was before. In that time I've wronged a few other furries online and that has made me feel (rightfully) worse. And for how I acted I don't deserve for them to forgive me.
> I'm not too happy right now. I never was happy to begin with. I was born pissed off and I will likely die the same. It's in my spirit. But the way I deal with depression is I just get up everyday and go to work. One foot in front of the other. I'm thankful to even have work. So many folks don't. If it weren't for work I'd probably have gone completely insane by now.
> ...


I haven't tried that, but I did try the re-formulation called lexapro. It wasn't working for me and was the hardest to get off of. I felt so sad and had crying spells for awhile. My current regimen is buropion xr24hr, buspirone 15mg one twice a day, duloxetine 40mg two caps once a day. I was doing better, but slowly I've been going down hill. Hating myself and not caring. Talking on here has helped but I think the addition of a psychiatrist will be beneficial. I'm here to talk if you ever need it.


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## ScrewLoose (Jul 18, 2018)

MEDDL3r said:


> I haven't tried that, but I did try the re-formulation called lexapro. It wasn't working for me and was the hardest to get off of. I felt so sad and had crying spells for awhile. My current regimen is buropion xr24hr, buspirone 15mg one twice a day, duloxetine 40mg two caps once a day. I was doing better, but slowly I've been going down hill. Hating myself and not caring. Talking on here has helped but I think the addition of a psychiatrist will be beneficial. I'm here to talk if you ever need it.


You can talk to me anytime you need a friend (I will warn you tho I work full time and can't use the web much during the day). *Hugs*


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## MEDDL3r (Jul 19, 2018)

I'm wondering if people wouldn't mind sharing what drugs they found to have helped. I always am curious to see the differences of individuals regimen. Mine are listed above, only post if comfortable sharing.


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## MEDDL3r (Jul 19, 2018)

I hope everyone's night is going well so far!


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## fourur (Jul 23, 2018)

I stay in bed until it stop wich mean it never does


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## MEDDL3r (Jul 23, 2018)

fourur said:


> I stay in bed until it stop wich mean it never does


I hope you feel better soon! If you ever need to talk I'm here.


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## Yvvki (Jul 23, 2018)

Draw out your feelings. You don't have to make it look like anything, but I find drawing it out and then deleting it after helps a lot. It's how I coped with mine.


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## adiostama (Jul 23, 2018)

The thing I was told that really helped me was thinking about negative thoughts as the easy path to the river. It's a bit longer, but it's what you're so accustomed to, it's so easy to ignore the other path (positive thoughts) that is right there and much shorter. This second path has been unused and thus thorn have grown on it, so it's harder to walk through, but the more and more you walk through it, the easier it will be and you won't even think about that other path anymore. 

The other thing that was helpful was realizing positive thoughts don't have to be things like "I'm great and I love myself". It can just be "I'm sad about this thing that happened" vs "I'm the worst person ever because this thing happened."
It can also just be contradicting your illogical, negative ideas about yourself, such as thinking "This is all my fault and I hate myself and I should die" but then thinking "I'm upset, but technically only a small part of this was my fault."

Hope that helps even a little, good luck!


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## Connor J. Coyote (Jul 23, 2018)

Yvvki said:


> Draw out your feelings. You don't have to make it look like anything, but I find drawing it out and then deleting it after helps a lot. It's how I coped with mine.


Yes; just about any type of artwork is very therapeutic I find.. (even if I toss it later)


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## MEDDL3r (Jul 23, 2018)

adiostama said:


> The thing I was told that really helped me was thinking about negative thoughts as the easy path to the river. It's a bit longer, but it's what you're so accustomed to, it's so easy to ignore the other path (positive thoughts) that is right there and much shorter. This second path has been unused and thus thorn have grown on it, so it's harder to walk through, but the more and more you walk through it, the easier it will be and you won't even think about that other path anymore.
> 
> The other thing that was helpful was realizing positive thoughts don't have to be things like "I'm great and I love myself". It can just be "I'm sad about this thing that happened" vs "I'm the worst person ever because this thing happened."
> It can also just be contradicting your illogical, negative ideas about yourself, such as thinking "This is all my fault and I hate myself and I should die" but then thinking "I'm upset, but technically only a small part of this was my fault."
> ...


Never thought of it like that, thanks!


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## Shadowprints (Jul 23, 2018)

I used to struggle with anxiety n stuff pretty bad, I'd vomit almost every morning out of nervousness and fear before going to work and could never figure it out. What helped me the most seemed to be cold showers. The sudden shock and sensation of cold water would always fill me with some weird sense of joy and wakefulness, I'd also start working out heavily and eating mainly fruits and yogurts, I noticed I stopped having hose weird sensations of anxiety, or depression in the morning, and after a couple months they stopped altogether. I think having a positive mind helped too, I'd always tell myself I'm better than this and I'm stronger than this and I can come out of this, I never let a bad thought enter my mind, and when it did, I thought of something different.

I don't know if it counts as advice but it's a personal experience, and if you haven't tried it, could be worth a shot, who knows. Good luck in the end.


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## Nihles (Jul 24, 2018)

I used to get so messed up I couldn't function...I listen to a lot of Beartooth...the lyrics arw uplifting and the heavy metal gets me off my butt and doing what I need to do, like get to work or go on a bike ride.  I can say that metal music really helped me lose weight and improvey slef image. It's not everyone's cup if tea, I hope you find your own tea soon.


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## Oakie-Dokie (Jul 24, 2018)

I always make it a point to take my meds on time. I've found that music, sleep, a good diet, running, and someone to talk to that knows what you've been through has been a tremendous help.


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## MEDDL3r (Jul 26, 2018)

I hope everyone is doing well. I seem to be falling back into a mild depression. I do see a psychiatrist in a couple weeks but was hoping to go in feeling better.


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## DarkoKavinsky (Jul 26, 2018)

does sleeping in and masturbating count?

I try to draw and focus on my artwork.... and just try to deal with it. Sometimes I forget to eat or even care for myself. Thats the hardest part for me.. Remembering to eat and clean up.


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## MEDDL3r (Jul 28, 2018)

Anyone down for some cuddling? No...maybe, well I'll be here if your interested. Feeling a little down and could use a little. Hope this Isn't weird. Don't feel obligated, its probably weird anyway.


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## TheFurryGM (Jul 29, 2018)

I personally haven't had any depression that was passed the"norm" I guess, but ik what has helped my friends in the past, but I'm sure it's stuff you've heard countless times. I find that finding a hobby or something to distract you're mind with can help a lot, and finding someone to confide with helps a lot. If you need someone to talk to, I'm fine with talking. I'm not sure how active I'll be in this site but hey, doesn't hurt to try


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## TheFurryGM (Jul 29, 2018)

Mr. Fox said:


> Act out violently.


Something tells me that might not be the healthiest option


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## Deleted member 82554 (Jul 29, 2018)

TheFurryGM said:


> Something tells me that might not be the healthiest option


Your be surprised. A punching bag can go a long way.


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## Massan Otter (Jul 29, 2018)

TheFurryGM said:


> Something tells me that might not be the healthiest option



Ah, hence the deletion, I guess!


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## TheFurryGM (Jul 29, 2018)

Mr. Fox said:


> Your be surprised. A punching bag can go a long way.


Oh yeah stuff like that helps a lot. I guess I misinterpreted what you meant by that


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## Simo (Aug 2, 2018)

I avoid the political threads here inasmuch as possible.


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## MEDDL3r (Aug 2, 2018)

Simo said:


> I avoid the political threads here inasmuch as possible.


I not only avoid those, but news in general. I don't need help feeling depressed. I am doing a bit better, but a lot of work is still needed.


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## MEDDL3r (Aug 3, 2018)

I hope everyone has been doing well!


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## Water Draco (Aug 3, 2018)

Your opening to this thread I recognized very much myself, and have been to some bad places myself.

When it comes to prescription drugs I have only ever used them to assist with stabilising things in preparation for more assistance. This being CBT and mindfulness training. Very appreciative that these services are available through the NHS in the UK.

I also practice yoga which fits in with the mindfulness.

I have a dog myself which means lots of walks and time to tend to the dogs needs. Always very happy to see me.

I have also spent a lot of time working with horses. Very honest animals and I find it fascinating observing how they interact in herds.
Then there is learning to understand them so the opportunity to ride is a mutuality rewarding experience.

Having things to do when your head is running away with it's self that are in a way mind numbing. Example being painting a fence. It is just enough activity to slow the pace of thoughts down.

Talking with someone. I'm not so good with this for a number of reasons. Although saying this I'm slowly loosening the lid on that place hidden deep down inside, and have come to realise that some things I will have to talk about.

My sona is something I have had with me for a very long time, when things have been at there darkest it is that last little glimmer that just happens to catch you in the periphery of your vision.
And engaging with the fandom and and creating/continually working on my fursona, it has allowed a new way of looking at myself.
It is only in the last few weeks there has been quite a profound change as a result of this and my view of myself.

It's hard to explain or at least put into words. This experience is just so new to me and it is taking time for me to interpret and understand it.

I had learnt to cope by trying to hide myself away from the lack self worth and the loathing which ever so often would find my hiding space and fill it again.
Only now I don't feel that I am hiding any more, and that glimmer is in fact my true self that has been lost for so long yet has always been with me but I have been blind to see it, or have only seen as just some of the coping skills in my tool kit. The very things that people value in me when they come to me in need. Friendship, compassion, loyalty, caring, helpfulness, trust. But there is one more which had seemed very alien to me for the simple reason I just could not recognize it any more. It was there but every time I tried to analyze it I blew brain cells.

Love.

Something I have always been fearful of because I was incapable of expressing it. All because I had barricaded it so deeply with in.

Things are changing. I have now added some new set clothes to my wardrobe that I keep separate from my work and every day cloths. Even new shoes. Fancy aftershave.

For the first time I actually want to look good.

My mood is still up and down like a yoyo but something new is remaining with me.

I want to like who I am.

A beginning, I don't expect it to be easy and I know that I can take the falls. As for that place with the lid on it, I may not like what's in there but keeping it there is only hurting me each time it erupts. Time to start letting go of it on my terms.


Sorry I seem to started in one place and then a lot of things started making sense to me.

Now I am trying to think of some solutions for you but there are only four words I can think of as a starting place.

Be kind to yourself.


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## MEDDL3r (Aug 3, 2018)

Thank you for sharing. I'm always here if you want to talk. I don't know how helpful I would be, but I am willing to try and help others. It was hard for me to be kind to myself for a long time. For a short time I was into cutting. That was before any medication or anything. It then turned to drugs and drinking. I would binge drink so much, sometime half a bottle in 5-6 hours. Now I can only drink hard sodas without getting a horrible headache hours latter. I'm not gonna go deep into the drug part at this time. Now I'm trying to re-learn how to love myself. Its been a very hard process, with only a little to show for it. I see a psychiatrist on the 10th and I'm confident that will help a lot.


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## Vic_the_Hard_Rock_Wolf (Aug 3, 2018)

Getting diagnosed and starting medication has improved my case drastically, though I can't say I still don't take the drink if I feel bad. Metal music and gym have also been proven working painkillers.


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## MEDDL3r (Aug 4, 2018)

I'm bored and can't sleep. If anyone want to or needs to talk, I'm available. I figure I'd just throw that out there.


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## MEDDL3r (Aug 4, 2018)

Anyone else find that as it get closer to your birthday you get more depressed? Over the past couple of years it's developed into equal amounts of joy and depression.


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## Vic_the_Hard_Rock_Wolf (Aug 4, 2018)

MEDDL3r said:


> Anyone else find that as it get closer to your birthday you get more depressed? Over the past couple of years it's developed into equal amounts of joy and depression.



Not particularly. I usually give it little attention but the undeserved extra attention is pretty awkward


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## Water Draco (Aug 4, 2018)

I find it is more around Christmas.


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## Murphy (Aug 4, 2018)

MEDDL3r said:


> I'm bored and can't sleep. If anyone want to or needs to talk, I'm available. I figure I'd just throw that out there.


Hehe I was dead ass asleep. My parents just got a new mountain house I’m staying at this weekend. It’s so nice but I pass out early af due to it being pitch black by like 10pm. We need to RP soon though!


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## MEDDL3r (Aug 4, 2018)

Murphy said:


> Hehe I was dead ass asleep. My parents just got a new mountain house I’m staying at this weekend. It’s so nice but I pass out early af due to it being pitch black by like 10pm. We need to RP soon though!


That sounds amazing!! I would love to experience quiet like that and the star filled sky.


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## MEDDL3r (Aug 4, 2018)

Vic_the_Hard_Rock_Wolf said:


> Not particularly. I usually give it little attention but the undeserved extra attention is pretty awkward


I'm not sure what's changed the last couple of years. I do end up feeling better on my b-day, but leading up to it I've been getting depressed last 2 years.


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## Ludwig Linkermann (Aug 4, 2018)

MEDDL3r said:


> That sounds amazing!! I would love to experience quiet like that and the star filled sky.


Move to a village and you'll get all the quietness you want.


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## MEDDL3r (Aug 4, 2018)

I hope everyone is doing well tonight!


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## MEDDL3r (Aug 5, 2018)

Hope everyone's day is going well!!


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## Murphy (Aug 5, 2018)

Fluffer said:


> I mean you can even kill yourself earlier


That’s horrible advice. =/


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## TheFurryGM (Aug 5, 2018)

Fluffer said:


> I mean you can even kill yourself earlier


I hope you're trolling with that last bit of advice, but even than that's not an acceptable thing to do on this thread... =/

Every life should be cherished, and allowed to flourish, because everyone at least deserves that much in life. It should be something celebrated, and it's a shame people have dark thoughts, little lone people saying such absurdities. I truly hope no one takes that seriously, because depression is a very serious matter and no one should have to go through such a shitty state of mind...


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## MEDDL3r (Aug 6, 2018)

After that incident, I hope everyone's night is going well!


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## Wolfstin (Aug 6, 2018)

I've been dealing this shit my whole life and med's don't do fuck all( never took them) . Just do things you enjoy and have close friends/family that help you out. You'll beat this, it's shitty but you'll realize you are strong and can do anything.


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## Vic_the_Hard_Rock_Wolf (Aug 6, 2018)

Wolfstin said:


> I've been dealing this shit my whole life and med's don't do fuck all( never took them) .



I'd recommend still trying. I know they don't work with everybody but they did big time with me and I know I would be even more of a wreck without 'em.


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## MEDDL3r (Aug 6, 2018)

I've said this to a few people, but thank you for all the help and kind words offered.


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## Vic_the_Hard_Rock_Wolf (Aug 6, 2018)

MEDDL3r said:


> I've said this to a few people, but thank you for all the help and kind words offered.



You aren't going to do anything stupid? That kinda sounded like it


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## MEDDL3r (Aug 6, 2018)

No, I just wanted to say thanks. The thought may cross into my head, but I would never do anything like that. I am just genuinely thankful to find such kind people.


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## MEDDL3r (Aug 6, 2018)

I have a lot of life to live and I made it this far through worse. Life is one thing I would never quit. I wouldn't want to put my mom through that.


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## Vic_the_Hard_Rock_Wolf (Aug 6, 2018)

That's a relief, because every life is precious and you are no exception. It would be most awful kind of waste if you hurt yourself, just saying. It's never easy, especially with depression, but we people are designed to survive. And so you will too, as will all of us


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## AppleButt (Aug 7, 2018)

Usually I just go alone somewhere to not be bothered by anyone.   Talking about my problems to others just makes me feel defeated.  I’d rather ride it out on my own.  No one can ever give me advice that’s good enough anyway.

Sometimes if I’m feeling really bad I’ll just drink alone in my room.  But that’s rare.


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## MEDDL3r (Aug 7, 2018)

AppleButt said:


> Usually I just go alone somewhere to not be bothered by anyone.   Talking about my problems to others just makes me feel defeated.  I’d rather ride it out on my own.  No one can ever give me advice that’s good enough anyway.
> 
> Sometimes if I’m feeling really bad I’ll just drink alone in my room.  But that’s rare.


If you are ever in the mood to talk I would be glad to listen.


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## MEDDL3r (Aug 8, 2018)

Hope everyone's day is going well!!


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## Tao (Aug 8, 2018)

I meditate quite a lot which helps with anxiety and depression. It's not a cure-all but it helps you know yourself and inner peace is a big step towards happiness.


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## MEDDL3r (Aug 8, 2018)

Tao said:


> I meditate quite a lot which helps with anxiety and depression. It's not a cure-all but it helps you know yourself and inner peace is a big step towards happiness.


I have tried to meditate, but I cant sit still long enough.


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## MEDDL3r (Aug 10, 2018)

I see the psychiatrist soon, wish me luck! I'm not gonna go into details, but that eval kinda sucked.


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## CertifiedCervine (Aug 10, 2018)

I have anxiety, and sometimes writing in a journal helps me, 
YouTube channels like psych2go and school of life can help too, I wish you good luck.


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## Fallowfox (Aug 10, 2018)

Disconnecting from the internet for a few weeks can help if you're feeling down or anxious. 

Much of the content on the internet is very acrimonious, or portrays highly curated versions of people's lives that aren't possible to compete with. Checking the internet a lot can interrupt sleep too.


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## Zezel (Aug 10, 2018)

If you live by a body of water I find it helps to sit by it or watch it and count the waves or the fish that jump. The sunrises and sets are also very pretty and might help


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## ZeroVoidTime (Aug 10, 2018)

If you have anxiety stay away from caffeine as it increases anxiety quite a lot.


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## MEDDL3r (Aug 10, 2018)

I hope everyone is having a great night!


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## Naheta Doe (Aug 11, 2018)

I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder when I was 20. I have been on meds on and off for 20 years. 

Most pcp( primary care providers) will write a script for you. And most are farly cheap. I know you said you were strapped for money (I feel you its been the summer of hell here.) But are there any universities or free or sliding scale medical services in your area? You might be able to talk to some one that way. 

There is no shame in taking meds when you need them. In most cases of derision and anxiety disorders there is a chemical imbalance that these meds correct. 

If you ever feel like you need to talk message me I always have an ear to bend.


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## MEDDL3r (Aug 11, 2018)

Naheta Doe said:


> I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder when I was 20. I have been on meds on and off for 20 years.
> 
> Most pcp( primary care providers) will write a script for you. And most are farly cheap. I know you said you were strapped for money (I feel you its been the summer of hell here.) But are there any universities or free or sliding scale medical services in your area? You might be able to talk to some one that way.
> 
> ...


I'm already on meds. Have been for years. For the most part, I'm doing better since I dropped my primary dose of meds in half(I talked to my pcp before I did this). Now I need to work on boosting my confidence and self-esteem.


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## Naheta Doe (Aug 11, 2018)

Oops sorry I miss understood. 

That's a harder one. One i battle with daily. 

What works for me is "fake it until you make it" 

Confidence is a mind set if you act like you are confident even when you are not, after a time you will become that confident. 

Cheesy I know but it does work for some people.


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## MEDDL3r (Aug 12, 2018)

I hope everyone is having a great day!! The psychiatrist was a bust. It was only one session, but I came out feeling more depressed. I'm trying not to dwell on some of the things he said, but it's difficult.


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## Naheta Doe (Aug 12, 2018)

I use to come out of my appointments feeling like I got it by a truck. It takes time some times years to start feeling better its not a one time fix. You can't even really open up for awhile. I know I couldn't until I trusted them.  

It will get better


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## CertifiedCervine (Aug 12, 2018)

I have a special calm place in town where I go to calm down if I get anxious, it helps me clear my mind and calm back down


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## MEDDL3r (Aug 12, 2018)

I'm not sure if im gonna go back. I know it takes time, but im not sure what im gonna do.


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## Deleted member 112695 (Aug 12, 2018)

I have suffered from this stuff a too a long time too.
I like the advice you’ve been given already.

But for me personally, the light at the end of the tunnel has always been Christ... always has been.


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## Murphy (Aug 12, 2018)

MEDDL3r said:


> I'm not sure if im gonna go back. I know it takes time, but im not sure what im gonna do.


Try and find another one! They’re all different.


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## MEDDL3r (Aug 13, 2018)

Felix Bernard said:


> I have suffered from this stuff a too a long time too.
> I like the advice you’ve been given already.
> 
> But for me personally, the light at the end of the tunnel has always been Christ... always has been.


I was raised as a christian. I went to church every weekend. Then things started to fall apart. Now I haven't been to church in 6 years. I've been meaning to go back, haven't yet tho.


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## MEDDL3r (Aug 13, 2018)

Anyone else ever feel sad but have the inability to cry?


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## zenmaldita (Aug 13, 2018)

MEDDL3r said:


> Anyone else ever feel sad but have the inability to cry?


_OH BOY have I got news for you. _xD

I think we (people with depression, at least) have reached this point once. You may be really tired, or have "no tears left to cry" - and that's okay. Take your time to breathe. Sometimes people need a good cry but when it doesn't come, don't force it out. Take a rest, a nap, a nice cup of hot coco - treat yoself.

In response to the OP, I used to take half a setrona tablet everyday but it only made me numb and sleepy. I suppose that was better than overwhelming sadness for the time being. What worked better (for me) however was being able to laugh. Release those damned endorphins in my body and all that shit. For that I recommend watching some feel good or comedy anime:

1. Barakamon
Depressed artist goes to rural island to find himself - to focus on work without the distractions of the city. Instead, he found himself slowly integrating within the island's community as all the villagers there took care of one another. He then takes inspiration from the adventures he goes on with the townsfolk.​2. Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun | Monthly Girls Nozaki-kun
This show flips every shoujo-genre stereotype when a girl, Chiyo, confesses to her crush, Nozaki one day. Instead of a budding romance, they develop a close friendship and cooperative dependence that expanded to several other people. Together, they work on helping Nozaki with his shoujo manga.​3. Amaama to Inazuma | Sweetness and Lightning
Widower struggles to provide healthy meals for his young daughter as they survive on instant meals and convenience store packed lunches. He decides to learn how to cook with the help of his student who was also struggling with loneliness as her mother is constantly away at work.​4. Silver Spoon
City boy enrolled into a farmer's highschool in rural Japan after failing the entrance exams in Tokyo. Feeling shitty (and damn bitter) about himself, he also looks down on his classmates for having their life set for them - inheriting farms and businesses after they graduate without a doubt in the world. He soon learns that life as a farmer isn't as easy and slowly gains respect for it and his peers.​5. Haikyuu!!
High energy sports anime about a dreamy and optimistic boy wanting to play volleyball. Sometimes happy characters working together to achieve their goals is enough to make me happy.​Yeah. Ok you might not be into anime --- so just replace it with other forms of entertainment. Just make sure it's the funny stuff. 
There are clean stand up comedy acts posted on youtube such as www.youtube.com: Dry Bar Comedy 

If all else fails, I take a nice hot bath, get the shea butter scrub, and then go to my favorite restaurant and eat.


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## MEDDL3r (Aug 13, 2018)

zenmaldita said:


> _OH BOY have I got news for you. _xD
> 
> I think we (people with depression, at least) have reached this point once. You may be really tired, or have "no tears left to cry" - and that's okay. Take your time to breathe. Sometimes people need a good cry but when it doesn't come, don't force it out. Take a rest, a nap, a nice cup of hot coco - treat yoself.
> 
> ...


Thanks for the recommendations! I love anime, but I'm so behind I just stopped watching. Ill check those series out.


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## zenmaldita (Aug 13, 2018)

MEDDL3r said:


> Thanks for the recommendations! I love anime, but I'm so behind I just stopped watching. Ill check those series out.


in that case, you can also try Aggressive Retsuko 
it captures the pains of modern adulthood in the workforce, the anxieties of an adult who's figuring out life, and our naivety despite being 20 somethings quite perfectly.


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## MEDDL3r (Aug 14, 2018)

I hope everyone is doing well and is having a great night!!


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## BaoBun (Aug 15, 2018)

Hi! I have a positivity wall with little post-it notes with nice things I can say to myself (such as I am valid as a person and so are my emotions), things that can empower me and make me feel a bit better! I try to repeat these to myself constantly to reaffirm myself that I'm not as bad of a person as my brain may make me feel! 

I also try not to make myself feel bad for feeling down by telling myself that its an emotion, it's there and I acknowledge it. I have depression and anxiety so I will feel down at times but I try to push myself to be proactive about it (because sometimes I do end up just lying in bed for hours on end!) however if it's really bad I do allow myself to sometimes wallow in it, I don't necessarily think this is too bad for me because usually I allow myself say an hour or 2 to do this and then I make myself get up and do something positive for myself such as something which is self care related (anything from reading, to just eating). It can be really beneficial having something designated as a self care routine, always make sure it's something that makes you feel good!

I always try to acknowledge and praise myself for doing the small things, such as just getting out of bed to shower because some days that is really hard. 

As for anxiety! For me the biggest thing that helps me is breathing exercises, I practise these 3 times a day, 2 minutes each time. There are different ones you can do but I just breath in through my nose for 6-8 seconds (or however long you need it to be a deep inhale of breath) and exhale for the same amount of time. I found with this practise is really key, when I first started doing this the breathing exercises helped me a little bit but I'd say after about a week or so of constant practising is when I really started seeing how it was helping me, I felt it got to a point where it instantly relaxed me - particularly when I was feeling very anxious! 

Also! It's okay if you need to walk away from a situation that makes you anxious and you need to calm down. Making a safe space is okay!!


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## yrbys (Aug 15, 2018)

Valium.


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## Xitheon (Aug 15, 2018)

Get dRUNK.


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## MEDDL3r (Aug 15, 2018)

I hope everyone is doing well tonight!!


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## Alyssa.the.fox (Aug 15, 2018)

I sit there and do nothing, or take a nap. Thats how i curb it.


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## MEDDL3r (Aug 16, 2018)

Alyssa.the.fox said:


> I sit there and do nothing, or take a nap. Thats how i curb it.


I hope your having a good night!!


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## Alyssa.the.fox (Aug 16, 2018)

MEDDL3r said:


> I hope your having a good night!!


Thanks, but im not having a good night, sadly.
Hope you do though!


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## MEDDL3r (Aug 16, 2018)

Alyssa.the.fox said:


> Thanks, but im not having a good night, sadly.
> Hope you do though!


I'm sorry to hear that. Feel better soon!*hugs*


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## Alyssa.the.fox (Aug 16, 2018)

MEDDL3r said:


> I'm sorry to hear that. Feel better soon!*hugs*


I hope so too
*hugs*


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## MEDDL3r (Aug 16, 2018)

I hope everyone is doing well tonight!!


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## Universe (Aug 16, 2018)

MEDDL3r said:


> Hope this is posted in the right place. I have been dealing with depression and anxiety for 10+ years. I deal with hating my self, low self image, no motivation and bad social anxiety. I am on a medication regimen but it isn't helping as much as it used to. I'm curious as to what's working for you medication wise(if you want to share)and other things that have helped. Thx for sharing in advance.


Try meditating I’ve had anxiety all my life and that’s what helps me


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## Pogo (Aug 16, 2018)

By summoning the power of will.

"Say hello will. Will says hello."

Idk i usually find a way to keep my self entertained. Steering thoughts to something not so glum.


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## MEDDL3r (Aug 17, 2018)

I hope everyone is doing well!!


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## BaoBun (Aug 18, 2018)

MEDDL3r said:


> I hope everyone is doing well!!



Hope you’re doing well too!!


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## Jay98 (Aug 19, 2018)

to be honest the internet gives me limitless mind-numbing nonsense and between that and my friends online i always have something to combat negative feels


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## NomyNoms (Aug 19, 2018)

i just talk to my boyfriend. he always makes me feel nice.

hi sexy.


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## Jay98 (Aug 19, 2018)

ah. well done. a way to stalk me and stay on topic.


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## NomyNoms (Aug 19, 2018)

please say you love me. that would easy my mind.


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## Jay98 (Aug 19, 2018)

this is not best discussed here


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## Loffi (Aug 19, 2018)

I have a history of depression, anxiety, self harm, and substance abuse. I'm finally at the point where I feel like I'm winning and I want to share some of the things that have helped me.

1.)  Get professional help. I can't stress enough how much this has helped me. It took a while, but I was finally able to find a medicine that made me balanced without terrible side effects.

2.)  Fill your life with positive things. I know that sounds cliche, but the moment I stopped looking at stupid 2mirl4mirl suicide memes and started focusing more on happy shit, I felt better.

3.) Move more. Eat well. Be good to your body and it will repay you.

4.) Try to find something that feels like progress to you and do it daily. This might be something as simple as making your bed. Personally, I started reading daily again.

5.) I started keeping a diary. Putting my daily activities and thoughts on paper has helped me feel more organized, both in actions and emotions. When I get sad, I go back and read them. Reading the good days reminds me of why I'm here and reading the bad days reminds me that life goes on.


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## NomyNoms (Aug 19, 2018)

what i said earlier is 100% true by the way.
i need people to tell me i'm alright and look after me.
i love my boyfriend most because he's so calm and reasonable.
he always knows the right thing to say to me.
i'd be lost without him.


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## SirGavintheFurred (Aug 19, 2018)

Honestly I just kind of stop functioning. I'll stare at a wall, not leave my room unless I have to, and think about life until I'm no longer depressed (Usually about three days). If I'm not active on here for more than like two days, that's probably why. I then usually get back on the forums and I'm alright again.


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## malibu (Aug 20, 2018)

Pills. I've gotten professional help for my issues and because of my diagnosis, I've been able to find (after years and almost 20 tries) the right meds that work for me.

Xanax, possibly with a shot of alcohol, for anxiety.

Hard distractionss, sometimes with multiple things at once, for depressive spells. If that doesn't work, sleep and try again later.


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## yrbys (Aug 21, 2018)

I don't... It eats away inside.


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## MEDDL3r (Aug 21, 2018)

Hope everyone is having a good day!


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## GloriusIdiot (Aug 21, 2018)

I hang out in a dark room with only the light of my album player and listen to music as i exorcise. I also read books and watch a goofy movie on occasion. All of this allows me to focus on my pain, sort out my thoughts, and appreciate reality for what it is. Even as harsh as it can be. I also smoke pot.


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## MEDDL3r (Aug 22, 2018)

I'm feeling a bit depressed, but I hope everyone else is doing good!


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## CertifiedCervine (Aug 22, 2018)

Here’s a video for anyone feeling overwhelmed


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## MEDDL3r (Aug 22, 2018)

TacomaTheDeer said:


> Here’s a video for anyone feeling overwhelmed


I love the music. So relaxing.


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## MEDDL3r (Aug 23, 2018)

I know I shouldn't take much stock in these. After reading, it hits who I am pretty well. INFP Personality (“The Mediator”) | 16Personalities Have a read if your interested in seeing what kind of person I am.


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## nona-adopts (Aug 23, 2018)

You know what really helps, meditating. Sitting and letting your thoughts pass until it's quiet up there. This won't work overnight but If you keep to it every day for a few it'll eventually calm down and you can think about pleasant happy thoughts.

Other things:

choose love over hate
forgiving yourself
forgiving others
hobbies that make you happy
positive affirmations from friends
avoiding negative people
but most importantly, positive affirmation from yourself


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## MEDDL3r (Aug 23, 2018)

nona-adopts said:


> You know what really helps, meditating. Sitting and letting your thoughts pass until it's quiet up there. This won't work overnight but If you keep to it every day for a few it'll eventually calm down and you can think about pleasant happy thoughts.
> 
> Other things:
> 
> ...


Thanks for sharing! My toughest problem is loving myself. I spent so many years hating myself and some self harm. Things are better now, but loving myself still feels foreign to me. Its a process that I will likely work on for the rest of my life.


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## CertifiedCervine (Aug 23, 2018)

MEDDL3r said:


> Thanks for sharing! My toughest problem is loving myself. I spent so many years hating myself and some self harm. Things are better now, but loving myself still feels foreign to me. Its a process that I will likely work on for the rest of my life.


Ive had problems being self-critical too, it would feel like nothing was good enough, and everything bad was in someway my fault, even if it had nothing to do with me, I’m glad your feeling better! I wish you good luck!


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## nona-adopts (Aug 23, 2018)

MEDDL3r said:


> Thanks for sharing! My toughest problem is loving myself. I spent so many years hating myself and some self harm. Things are better now, but loving myself still feels foreign to me. Its a process that I will likely work on for the rest of my life.



it takes a while to get there but so long you don't stop trying or trying to find things you like about yourself, no matter how trivial, it'll be the first step on the stairway to self acceptance and appreciation


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## Jay98 (Aug 24, 2018)

i really like music.

when i'm alone i just put on feel good music and go full Mrs.Doubtfire.


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## zenmaldita (Aug 24, 2018)

do you like chocolate @MEDDL3r ? go get some chocolate
sometimes it's okay to self indulge when you're feeling down


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## Deleted member 111470 (Aug 24, 2018)

I'm in a really bad spot right now, so I bought a month of game time in World of Warcraft. It feels good for a change.


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## NomyNoms (Aug 24, 2018)

Jay98 said:


> i really like music.
> 
> when i'm alone i just put on feel good music and go full Mrs.Doubtfire.



i would love to see that


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## MEDDL3r (Aug 24, 2018)

Yesterday was a great day! Today, with ever passing hour I feel like I'm becoming more sad. I'm so sick of this shit.


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## nona-adopts (Aug 24, 2018)

MEDDL3r said:


> Yesterday was a great day! Today, with ever passing hour I feel like I'm becoming more sad. I'm so sick of this shit.


is there a tangible reason, thoughts that pull you back or does it seemingly come out of "nowhere"


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## Jay98 (Aug 24, 2018)

NomyNoms said:


> i would love to see that



the point is, i'm alone, you idiot


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## Yvvki (Aug 24, 2018)

Movies. Drawing. Music. Playing games online.


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## WarriorWhispers (Aug 24, 2018)

Music.
I have two soundbars, and a 10inch subwoofer in my room. If my depression and/or anxiety get bad, I turn on upbeat trance or dubstep and drown everything out.
If I'm out, or at work, I'll take a moment to smoke(cigarettes are bad for you kids!), and focus on my breathing while shutting out the rest of the world.


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## MEDDL3r (Aug 25, 2018)

nona-adopts said:


> is there a tangible reason, thoughts that pull you back or does it seemingly come out of "nowhere"


It seems to come out of nowhere.


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## MEDDL3r (Aug 26, 2018)

I hope everyone is doing well!


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## Jay98 (Aug 26, 2018)

MEDDL3r said:


> I hope everyone is doing well!



is that your method or a statement?


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## MEDDL3r (Aug 26, 2018)

Jay98 said:


> is that your method or a statement?


Its just a statement.


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## Jay98 (Aug 26, 2018)

MEDDL3r said:


> Its just a statement.



well i just got bitten 3 times by a horse fly that somehow found itself under my bedsheets so no not everyone is doing well.


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## WithMyBearHands (Aug 26, 2018)

Truthfully, one of the biggest aides I’ve found are puzzles.  Simple, little puzzles to give you a logical brain exercise.  This kind of quells extreme emotions and promotes critical thinking.


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## WithMyBearHands (Aug 26, 2018)

Jay98 said:


> well i just got bitten 3 times by a horse fly that somehow found itself under my bedsheets so no not everyone is doing well.


Uhh... you gonna be okay?  Those fuckers carry some nasty germs.


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## Jay98 (Aug 26, 2018)

WithMyBearHands said:


> Uhh... you gonna be okay?  Those fuckers carry some nasty germs.



my leg from the knee down is in sharp pain and my ankle has swollen right up.
i have a cream for it but i can't get any other kind of help for it until morning which is in 6 hours.


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## WithMyBearHands (Aug 26, 2018)

Jay98 said:


> my leg from the knee down is in sharp pain and my ankle has swollen right up.
> i have a cream for it but i can't get any other kind of help for it until morning which is in 6 hours.


Try deodorant, see if that helps.  Like literally just rub a deodorant stick up and down your ankle


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## Jay98 (Aug 26, 2018)

WithMyBearHands said:


> Try deodorant, see if that helps.  Like literally just rub a deodorant stick up and down your ankle



i'm a little too tired and pissed off to try home remedies right now.
the cream i have will be good enough.


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## WithMyBearHands (Aug 26, 2018)

Jay98 said:


> i'm a little too tired and pissed off to try home remedies right now.
> the cream i have will be good enough.


Suit yourself.  I had an allergic reaction similar to a horsefly bite when I was a kid; I was home alone, freaked out, called the poison control hotline... they told me to use the deodorant after they were done laughing at me


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## pippi (Aug 26, 2018)

I don't cope well, I usually sit around complaining and whining and sighing and then when people tell me how much i'm bringing them down, I just go to bed.

I used to be on medication, but I just stopped taking it because my family saw it and started flipping out about it.  so I tried to hide it and kept forgetting to take it, so I just stopped taking it altogether.


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## WithMyBearHands (Aug 26, 2018)

pippi said:


> I don't cope well, I usually sit around complaining and whining and sighing and then when people tell me how much i'm bringing them down, I just go to bed.
> 
> I used to be on medication, but I just stopped taking it because my family saw it and started flipping out about it.  so I tried to hide it and kept forgetting to take it, so I just stopped taking it altogether.


No no no no no, if medicine helps you, that’s what you need.  Fuck your family.  (u know what I mean) Please.  My meds are a little wonky and I gotta work out some kinks but I can’t ever go back to being totally unmedicated until I get my shit sorted.  It is a difference of night and day, you have the chance to be the best you that you can be.  It’s SO GREAT having a choice of how to react or how to feel.  It’s so freeing and it’s something you shouldn’t be shamed for.  That’s like your family telling you not to take your insulin for diabetes because “you’re just not eating right”


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## pippi (Aug 26, 2018)

WithMyBearHands said:


> No no no no no, if medicine helps you, that’s what you need.  Fuck your family.  (u know what I mean) Please.  My meds are a little wonky and I gotta work out some kinks but I can’t ever go back to being totally unmedicated until I get my shit sorted.  It is a difference of night and day, you have the chance to be the best you that you can be.  It’s SO GREAT having a choice of how to react or how to feel.  It’s so freeing and it’s something you shouldn’t be shamed for.  That’s like your family telling you not to take your insulin for diabetes because “you’re just not eating right”



The doctor who prescribed the medicine lives hours away, I don't think i'd be able to see her again.  She was the only one that was open on my times off from work, so I probably couldn't get it again anyways.  i'd be too embarrassed to go back tho, I've stopped taking it so many times and I feel like i'm just wasting her time XD


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## WithMyBearHands (Aug 26, 2018)

pippi said:


> The doctor who prescribed the medicine lives hours away, I don't think i'd be able to see her again.  She was the only one that was open on my times off from work, so I probably couldn't get it again anyways.  i'd be too embarrassed to go back tho, I've stopped taking it so many times and I feel like i'm just wasting her time XD


Hun, she’s in the field hopefully because she genuinely cares about people.  I’m sure she’d be concerned and would wanna do anything she could to make sure you had access to them.  Most psychiatrists are like that.  You can probably find something at a little clinic somewhere that works more with the lower class; they usually have adequate access to all kinds of services, and for a good price.  They even match insurance prices if you don’t have it

Edit: also get you one of those little pill capsule keychains.  It holds one dose at a time and you refill it every night at home.  It helped me to not forget mine lol


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## Jay98 (Aug 27, 2018)

animal videos and feel good music


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## NomyNoms (Aug 28, 2018)

Jay98 said:


> animal videos and feel good music



that's always good.
that and chocolate ice-cream.


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## Anjeka (Aug 28, 2018)

I don't know how much this might help since different people respond to different things, but (with the recommendation from my first-ever therapist) I've recently gotten started on a class for something called dialectical behavioral therapy. It sounds super complex to start with but it seems to be a lot of practicing mindfulness and living in the moment. 

The thing I've found that helps the most both with my anxiety and depression was focusing on one specific thing for a minute or two during the day. Like if you're eating something, just sit there and focus on what you're eating - how it smells, feels, and tastes, and really slow down and break the act of eating down into specific steps. Put the food to your mouth, bite, chew, swallow, repeat, and focus on each step as closely as you can. You can do it with anything, even just sitting at your computer, shutting your eyes, and focusing on your breathing. 

I started doing this while I was feeling pretty neutral, and have started to be able to focus more when I'm having a bad anxiety or depression spell. Not enough to completely get rid of the feeling, but enough that common sense will push me to do something that _will_ make me feel better. (Ex. I feel terrible and just want to lie in bed. Logically, even though my limbs feel like they're made of sand and everything feels like a black hole, I realize I should get up and get some water because I'm thirsty and need water to live. The act of getting up and getting water then forces me to move and hydrate myself, which makes me feel marginally better)

Also watching candle carving videos when I'm feeling anxious.


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## MEDDL3r (Aug 31, 2018)

I hope everyone is doing well!!


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## Rayd (Aug 31, 2018)




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## AppleButt (Aug 31, 2018)

This might sound weird, but I also like to remind myself that the worst that could happen in my life is death.

That doesn’t scare me, so I use my lack in the fear of death to fuel my ability to live a little bit.

I don’t worry as much as I used to, I’m gonna start investing soon, Ive done some adventurous things. 

All stuff I was afraid to do before because I worried way too much about my future.


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## Connor J. Coyote (Sep 1, 2018)

MEDDL3r said:


> I hope everyone is doing well!!


Thanks.. peachy keen.


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## Technophiliah (Sep 1, 2018)

Honestly for me I fall into pits of depression from time to time, when that happens I lose all motivation to do even the most basic self care activities. Some things that really help me climb back out seem basic but you really don't realize how much it can help:

1. Take a long bath and do all hygiene activities that make you feel nice- shave, makeup, brush your damn teeth,-primp and preen yourself so you are refreshed. Wear REAL cloths- no PJs.
2. Start with cleaning your room. With depression this can sometime feel like a monster to tackle- Just start with a small portion. Just get_ this one shelf_ cleaned and organized-take your time and don't get over whelmed. but when you have a clean room you can look around and say I did this. I can do more.
3. Get outside. Fresh air, sunshine, nature. All helps to stop the claustrophobic feeling depression can give.
4. Socialize, talk to friends- call or text _THEM _first. Open up to them about it and if they say something that hurts, or is insensitive let them know! No one WANTS to hurt you. 

These are really the things that help me to feel more like an actual person. I always found distractions kind put me further in the pit- like its there, I know it is, and it really doesn't help for me to just binge a show or game. I hope this helps <3


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## yrbys (Sep 2, 2018)

Technophiliah said:


> Socialize, talk to friends


What if I don't have any?


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## Technophiliah (Sep 2, 2018)

yrbys said:


> What if I don't have any?


 That can be something we all face, especially after you are out of school. Online friends are still friends, and with this site you might be able to find some people near you to meet with, there are small group meet ups in various areas! Also try to talk to people in your workplace, or in your school even if you feel awkward or scared just remember no one wants to hurt you and everyone is going through something- just be kind and and yourself- If they don't like that you tried and that is a victory on its own.


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## Minerva_Minx (Sep 2, 2018)

My resilience comes from finding the hilarity in a situation.  No one really does that.  They use alcohol, avoidance, finding something else.  But to laugh at it al helps you se things differently.  try it as it may surprise you.


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## MEDDL3r (Sep 2, 2018)

yrbys said:


> What if I don't have any?


If you want you can consider me a friend! Whenever you feel like striking up a conversation is fine. I'm always here and willing to talk


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## Reiv (Sep 5, 2018)

Do something against my depression?

I play a little Tales of Berseria or look at the figure of the main character that's next to my monitor.
Play a little Osu!
Do nothing and just spin around on my bed.
Talk about it to my brother.
Watch an anime with a confusing plot.
These are really personal so it won't really help anyone else. When I feel depressed when the weather's bad, then I just focus on ending the day as quickly as possible. Sometimes I try to write an e-mail to myself before I go to bed and when I wake up tomorrow I read it, I don't have a problem with this 'cause I don't remember what I write when it's late.


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## yrbys (Sep 5, 2018)

I don't know how much longer I can keep going like this.


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## MEDDL3r (Sep 5, 2018)

yrbys said:


> I don't know how much longer I can keep going like this.


If talking would help, plz don't hesitate to message me. I'll do my best to help, if I can.


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## YukineAlterma (Sep 7, 2018)

I find deep meditation and cleansing of the mind wonderful ways that I handle depression. Once that is over I’ll take my tablet or sketchbook and just keep drawing until I have gotten out the last of the bad thoughts and breathe a sigh of relief.


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## Infrarednexus (Sep 7, 2018)

Another thing that helps with my stress and depression is coming to this place. It may sound confusing to a lot of people, considering this place can also be chaotic, but there are so many nice people in it that I enjoy spending time with. When I moved to this new campus I barely knew anyone, but the people here kept me from feeling alone and worried these first few weeks. 

Socializing with others seriously helps with depression. Isolating yourself from people, in real life, or online, only makes that depression worse.


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## aloveablebunny (Sep 8, 2018)

Really depends... sometimes I distract myself from it, sometimes I let myself feel it for a while, sometimes I sit down and actively identify reasons behind it and then work to fix those. I guess I consider myself high-functioning because outwardly, you'd probably never know. I hold a steady job and perform well, I have friends and travel/go out on occasion, have a steady partner with whom I am happy, and otherwise I stay afloat.

But when those episodes come, they are crippling.


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## Rayd (Sep 8, 2018)

I find that staying away from any and all communities helps a ton whenever I'm feeling heart palpitations coming on, as when I do that, I'm never able to be sad and bitter at everyone's strong friendships, creative skills and loving support..At least not as much. Though I say this, I find it hard to resist sometimes, as I don't do a whole lot else, so It's difficult to stay away. You can't "push people away" if you're already isolated everywhere you go, that's what I've learned this past year. I've heard of people supposedly being happy with being alone all the time, and god do I wish I had the ability, but there's really nothing else to my life to have any chance of being happy without some sort of contact.

So, typically, I resort to meds and other things that're unhealthy for me, to put it lightly.


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## ZaraphayxRedux (Sep 8, 2018)

reading my posts always cheers me up


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## Valaska (Sep 8, 2018)

When I was a teenager I went through a bout of depression, diagnosed as clinical.

Part of it was seeking out a psychologist who dealt with what was known at the time as "_adult depression_" and just having someone to vent my frustrations, and the other part was simply roughening up around the edges and putting myself in a mindset that "X thing isn't as big as an issue as I think it is, I'm going to push through it." I was pretty buried into sports and going out at the time too so just being around people helped. I really made a decision to just get through it all and get over the hump and for me, that worked.

Exercise, write down why you want to better yourself, write down objectives, find a betterment partner that you two dedicate to a goal together and share some goals. Actually writing things down physically on paper make them have a certain permanence, and I would suggest doing it period for anyone who has a goal they want to accomplish period.

But sometimes these things might not work for you, I was able to steel myself and force the things that got me depressed to just not affect me as much. But some people have a chemical and hormonal imbalance, so the steps are much the same... seek out a psychologist (not a psychiatrist at first) and have a little counselling and see if it is something that can be solved without pharmaceuticals. Speaking of drugs, cut that shit out ASAP. If you are depressed that's no state to be drinking alcohol, THC, LSD, or other chemicals that can affect your serotonin or dopamine receptors, you are in an extremely risky situation which you could develop dependencies on things.


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## MEDDL3r (Sep 10, 2018)

Hello everyone! Hope your all doing well!  I'm finally starting to realize that I should spend more time outside. I had to mow the lawn today and I feel great right now!


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## MEDDL3r (Nov 21, 2018)

Hello everyone! I've been inactive for awhile due to a bout of depression. I am going to try and get back to posting more often, but my grandma fell last Wednesday and compound fractured her hip. I have a lot to do but will post when I can. I know that most aren't interested in what's going on in others life. I thought I would just post an update in case anyone is curious. Hope you all have a great Thanksgiving(those who celebrate)!


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## BaoBun (Nov 30, 2018)

MEDDL3r said:


> Hello everyone! I've been inactive for awhile due to a bout of depression. I am going to try and get back to posting more often, but my grandma fell last Wednesday and compound fractured her hip. I have a lot to do but will post when I can. I know that most aren't interested in what's going on in others life. I thought I would just post an update in case anyone is curious. Hope you all have a great Thanksgiving(those who celebrate)!


 I'm sorry to hear about your gran! I hope she has a speedy recovery. Hope you had a good thanksgiving as well!!


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## Zehlua (Dec 2, 2018)

I do a LOT of things to ward off anxiety and depression:
1. Eat 2 bananas in the AM
2. Try to eat a handful of spinach before every meal or snack
3. Stop eating ice cream
4. Wear socks!!! Change them daily!!!
5. Make sure your body is warm. Sometimes I have panic attacks if my body is too cold
6. Find a GOOD therapist, and when you go in, have a list of problems and questions so you can work as a team and get the very most out of your sessions
7. Stop holding your pee. It can make you sick and tense up your body unnecessarily.
8. Eat more fresh fruits and veggies and nuts
9. Cut out as many cow products from your diet as you can
10. Probiotics!!!
11. Use the 54321 Game whenever you're having a panic attack- 5 things you can see, 4 things you can feel, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you like about yourself
12. You can also play "I Have A Basket" which is where you list things in alphabetical order that you can fit in a picnic basket
13. Deep breaths can ward off almost any panic attack
14. Spend 10 minutes a day having a personal dance party
15. Ideally, you should be asleep by midnight and waking up around 8am.
16. Get some soaps and stuff that smell fucking nice. Girls have amazing shit, and guys need to get in on that. One of my friends has a sugar scrub that smells like banana pudding and fruit loops, and if you rub your skin with it for long enough, you are so soft and smooth that you're legit squeaky clean
17. Tell your pets a bedtime story. Sometimes petting my dogs isn't good enough to help me out of anxiety. I need to occupy my brain more, so I start telling Charlie and Luna wacky made up tales
18. Watch relaxing kids cartoons, or anything that puts you in a safe headspace


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## Minerva_Minx (Dec 2, 2018)

Watch Mr Rogers, because that is one chill man.  Watch Voltron because well, Voltron.  Dress me sexy because sometimes it's good to just be sexy for yourself.  Eat ice cream and try to be sexy.  try it and you'll laugh at yourself.  tell myself something good.  promise myself that the sun will rise, the sun will fall despite what I may want.  Watch kung fu panda, seriously Oogway is deep.  tell myself to calm down, I'm an introvert not a monster.  people still like me somewhere.  go four or five towns over because they won't know me or remember me doing that stupid thing that one time.


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## fourur (Dec 6, 2018)

i started keto and ditch the gluten off from my kitchen, iplan to work out everyday, but i don't plan to go at the gym because I already have a hard physical job, but walking seems therapetic, and make sure to have enought magnesium, zinc and vitamine D , when i'm low in, i am depressed.


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## ConorHyena (Dec 6, 2018)

I repair stuff. I have lots of things in my house I can repair. Repairing things is always easy. Helps me focus.
Besides, old cars are great listeners! they never ask stupid question or answer back when you talk to them!


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## del (Dec 16, 2018)

good medication: fluoxetine (ONLY TAKE RECOMENDED DOSE!!!)
good techniques: deep breathing, muscle relaxation, distraction
remember the earlier and the more often you do things, the easier it is to overcome your fears.
(these may not all work for you, I just know a psychiatrist)
PS. NEVER give up!


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## quoting_mungo (Dec 16, 2018)

JPJK said:


> good medication: fluoxetine (ONLY TAKE RECOMENDED DOSE!!!)
> good techniques: deep breathing, muscle relaxation, distraction
> remember the earlier and the more often you do things, the easier it is to overcome your fears.
> (these may not all work for you, I just know a psychiatrist)
> PS. NEVER give up!


I just want to note that there isn't such a thing as The One Antidepressant/Anti-Anxiety Drug to Rule Them All. What drugs work well or don't work so well will be highly individual. I'm currently on my third depression/anxiety med, after trying two others (one kinda worked but I seemed to develop a tolerance to it, the other made a notable difference but not enough of one, both had super obnoxious side effects), and it seems to be doing a better job than the prior ones. Other people I know have landed on completely different drugs as what works for them. For acute anxiety meds, nothing short of benzos seem to do the trick on me, but obviously things like first-gen antihistamines do the trick for some folks or they wouldn't be approved for the usage.

There are some drugs that are generally better/worse, but ultimately it comes down to individual reactions to the drugs.


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## Misha Bordiga Zahradník (Dec 16, 2018)

Meds and a mix of healthy and unhealthy coping mechanisms.


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## del (Dec 16, 2018)

quoting_mungo said:


> I just want to note that there isn't such a thing as The One Antidepressant/Anti-Anxiety Drug to Rule Them All. What drugs work well or don't work so well will be highly individual. I'm currently on my third depression/anxiety med, after trying two others (one kinda worked but I seemed to develop a tolerance to it, the other made a notable difference but not enough of one, both had super obnoxious side effects), and it seems to be doing a better job than the prior ones. Other people I know have landed on completely different drugs as what works for them. For acute anxiety meds, nothing short of benzos seem to do the trick on me, but obviously things like first-gen antihistamines do the trick for some folks or they wouldn't be approved for the usage.
> 
> There are some drugs that are generally better/worse, but ultimately it comes down to individual reactions to the drugs.


Sorry to hear that, I don't really know a lot about this other than that that drug helped me (and is apparently the go to med for anxiety/ depression). It might also be that you where unfortunate enough to not be able to tolerate this stuff, or that you didn`t get it.


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## quoting_mungo (Dec 16, 2018)

JPJK said:


> Sorry to hear that, I don't really know a lot about this other than that that drug helped me (and is apparently the go to med for anxiety/ depression). It might also be that you where unfortunate enough to not be able to tolerate this stuff, or that you didn`t get it.


What the go-to drug is will vary by region. Drugs that are common in one country may be relatively rarely prescribed in another. The important thing is finding the one that's right for you.


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## del (Dec 16, 2018)

quoting_mungo said:


> What the go-to drug is will vary by region. Drugs that are common in one country may be relatively rarely prescribed in another. The important thing is finding the one that's right for you.


Yup I guess you`re right. I really don`t know a lot about this, but if you find something that works I guess that's the most important.


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## MEDDL3r (Nov 9, 2020)

It has been awhile since I have posted and just thought I would check in and see how everyone is doing.


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## Eremurus (Nov 9, 2020)

MEDDL3r said:


> It has been awhile since I have posted and just thought I would check in and see how everyone is doing.


Anxious and depressed off and on, I guess. Been this way for years. I dunno what I would do without marijuana.


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## MEDDL3r (Nov 9, 2020)

Weed definitely helps.


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## Flamingo (Nov 9, 2020)

I run.

A lot. 

The Forrest Gump approach, I guess!


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## MEDDL3r (Nov 9, 2020)

I was exercising and it was helping. My shoulder then decided to go bad and the pain kept me down for awhile. After the second round of steroids not only did it depress the hell outta me(I feel better but its not gone)now I have this severe feeling of loneliness. I hope to get back to it soon, but it would be nice to have someone to exercise with.


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## Tacoshark (Nov 9, 2020)

As someone that handled it the worst way possible as a kid, I can tell you that it is important to fight the inertia that prevents you from seeking help and talking with others. If it is bad enough to be noticeably affecting your quality of life, seek counseling or therapy. Push yourself out there to engage with people and friends. Having someone, anyone who will just sit and listen to you is life saving. 

I also find hobbies can help as a coping mechanism, particularly those that strongly engage multiple senses. For me I became obsessed with music and cooking. To this day if I feel down I will spend half a day making food while listening to music to help me push past the bad stuffwhen I have an episode.


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## quoting_mungo (Nov 10, 2020)

Tacoshark said:


> I also find hobbies can help as a coping mechanism, particularly those that strongly engage multiple senses. For me I became obsessed with music and cooking. To this day if I feel down I will spend half a day making food while listening to music to help me push past the bad stuffwhen I have an episode.


I’m trying to find a balance for this, myself. Baking (or more rarely cooking) is definitely something I do when I’m in a bad place mental-health-wise, but as I also have pretty serious energy issues, I can too easily end up turning it into self-punishment by semi-deliberately doing something that will use up more energy than I have. Doubly so when I perceive myself as having hurt or offended boyfriend.


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## zandelux (Nov 10, 2020)

My mood has drastically improved over the past few months. This may be a reach, but I really think that fixing my malfunctioning digestive system (with lots and lots of serious probiotics) has helped me get out of my depression. There's actually serious research to support this. (https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/wellness-and-prevention/can-probiotics-improve-your-mood for something easy-to-read, but Google "probiotics depression" for a large number of legit scholarly articles as well.)

A few other things that helped me:

Setting aside some time every day to laugh at something (RedLetterMedia is pure magic for this)
Unsubscribing from subreddits or other social media that make me angry
Exercise
Hobbies that get the creative juices flowing (D&D)
Improving my sleep (tough because depression worsens my sleep which worsens my depression...)
One especially tough thing about my depression was that I didn't even recognize it as depression. It just seemed like my emotions became dull until I barely felt anything. I thought it was because I was getting older, but it turns out I can still feel things. They were just buried under a mountain of crap.

Getting out of depression is incredibly hard. But the good news is that yours might be behavioral, like mine was, which means you can develop good habits to keep you out of it. I wish I had some advice to help people with chemical imbalances, as I'm sure no medication is a perfect solution.


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## Yakamaru (Nov 10, 2020)

I don't have depression so for those of you who do you have my sympathies and support. 

I do get bouts of anxiety though, of which I deal with a good cup of fresh tea while listening to some Enya or something as I sit in my chair and relax with my eyes closed and empty my head as much as possible as far as thoughts are concerned. May want to try it? Who knows, could help.


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## Deleted member 132067 (Nov 10, 2020)

Stability in every aspect is the most important. For me personally but just as well for anybody else who suffers from a depression.
- Stability in sleep: Because an irregular sleeping rhythm causes your body to produce stress hormones, which aren't a welcome addition to an already fucky hormone system thanks to your illness.
- Stability in exercise: Because our muscles are made to have us move around and actively worsen our conditions if we cease doing so. That's a tough one for me personally, but going for a long walk once per day is already a step forwards compared to wasting away at your bed all day.
- Stability in your daily routine: What is the hardest are unplanned events and sudden changes. Planning your days in advance, even if it seems rudimentary, helps to feel a sense of security. You stand up at x, have breakfast at y, do your chores around z and plan for a pause afterwards.


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## quoting_mungo (Nov 10, 2020)

Does anyone have any more esoteric ideas/techniques for better sleep? I say esoteric because I’m likely to have tried most of the standard go-to ones. I genuinely don’t think I’ve slept through the night since before high school, and am currently on two different meds to help with sleep (three counting a sometimes sleep aid that I don’t use on a daily basis per doctor’s orders), but they only do so much.


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## JacobFloofWoof (Nov 10, 2020)

Teas, alcohol, klonopin, phenibut, antihistamines, coffee when it's been days since my last cup, metal in the morning, meditation/new age music toward the end of the day and night.


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## TyraWadman (Nov 10, 2020)

quoting_mungo said:


> Does anyone have any more esoteric ideas/techniques for better sleep? I say esoteric because I’m likely to have tried most of the standard go-to ones. I genuinely don’t think I’ve slept through the night since before high school, and am currently on two different meds to help with sleep (three counting a sometimes sleep aid that I don’t use on a daily basis per doctor’s orders), but they only do so much.



Finding the right asmr videos? 
Head scratchies?


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## zandelux (Nov 10, 2020)

quoting_mungo said:


> Does anyone have any more esoteric ideas/techniques for better sleep? I say esoteric because I’m likely to have tried most of the standard go-to ones. I genuinely don’t think I’ve slept through the night since before high school, and am currently on two different meds to help with sleep (three counting a sometimes sleep aid that I don’t use on a daily basis per doctor’s orders), but they only do so much.



Depends on what you think is causing your insomnia. I had restless legs for awhile, and I had heard of people sleeping with a bar of soap in bed with them. Never tried it but that's pretty esoteric.

What helped me with my sleep was actually the standard "sleep hygiene" recommendations, as part of a Cognitive Behavioral Therapy course. Even though those techniques never worked for me before, going through them with a professional made them work. The trick was that some of the techniques were not all that important, while others were so important I have to stick to them pretty militantly. YMMV.

Here's the techniques in order of importance to me:

Associate your bed with sleep and only sleep. Get out of bed if you aren't able or planning to sleep. Also get out as soon as you wake up.
For an hour before bed, get into a comfortable "buffer zone" away from your bed with low light and no electronic screens. If you can't fall asleep go back to the buffer zone.
Have a morning routine: exercise, shower, be outside, get lots of sunlight.
Get up at the same time every day. It's helpful to go to bed at the same time too, but not as important. Actually this one is not super important for me, as long as my wake up time is within a 2-hour window I am good.
The other standard advice helps a bit, but as I said I am super strict about the first 2 and somewhat strict about the second 2. The best advice though is to see a professional about it if you can, as they can suggest behavior that's more tailored to your experience.


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## quoting_mungo (Nov 11, 2020)

TyraWadman said:


> Finding the right asmr videos?
> Head scratchies?


XD I genuinely fall asleep to Forensic Files (or other similar shows). No idea why true crime shows tend to have that certain soothing narration that helps me let go.



zandelux said:


> Depends on what you think is causing your insomnia. I had restless legs for awhile, and I had heard of people sleeping with a bar of soap in bed with them. Never tried it but that's pretty esoteric.
> 
> What helped me with my sleep was actually the standard "sleep hygiene" recommendations, as part of a Cognitive Behavioral Therapy course. Even though those techniques never worked for me before, going through them with a professional made them work. The trick was that some of the techniques were not all that important, while others were so important I have to stick to them pretty militantly. YMMV.
> 
> ...


Far as I can tell I just sleep like shit. Some of the issues with falling asleep probably come back to anxiety and/or bipolar making my brain chew on itself and run in circles when it should be chilling out, but fuck knows what the waking up every ~2-4 hours is about. My best guess is that something goes awry when my body tries to shift into deep sleep.

I’m definitely not above giving sleep hygiene techniques another go if I can get a therapist to work with me on it, just figure that options outside that box would be good to know about in case it doesn’t work out. (I also need to figure out where other than bed I can “nest” when cold or agitated.)

—-
Genuinely thanks to both of you for taking the time to reply. I’m struggling in a lot of ways right now (and for the last several years), due to a lot of factors, but I don’t doubt that the better I sleep the less negative impact poor sleep will have on the other factors.


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## zandelux (Nov 11, 2020)

I hope you're able to sort it out, @quoting_mungo. Don't hesitate to ask me anytime as I have a long history with sleep troubles. It sucks, and unfortunately a lot of people aren't really sympathetic about it.


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## TyraWadman (Nov 11, 2020)

quoting_mungo said:


> XD I genuinely fall asleep to Forensic Files (or other similar shows). No idea why true crime shows tend to have that certain soothing narration that helps me let go.
> 
> 
> Far as I can tell I just sleep like shit. Some of the issues with falling asleep probably come back to anxiety and/or bipolar making my brain chew on itself and run in circles when it should be chilling out, but fuck knows what the waking up every ~2-4 hours is about. My best guess is that something goes awry when my body tries to shift into deep sleep.
> ...




Oh! Another thing I remember reading...

What do you typically do for work? Or have done for work. Sometimes people say you might fall asleep easier if you're in a similar pose, sort of like how pilots sit upright and have to sleep upright while their copilot takes over. 

The only other suggestion is to upgrade your comfort. I personally find couches to be comfier than my bed. It's always so poofy and soft and if it can recline, that's even better! Ooooor you can just try to work towards a comfier bed and pillows. X3 I like soft and squishy that lets me sink right in and hugs me... weighted blankets would be cool too.


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## pinecones (Nov 11, 2020)

Get alone for a while. Get to know yourself. Find out what has meaning to you. Act like your own best friend. Give yourself permission to make mistakes and forgive yourself for past ones. Everyday it gets easier. Follow your sense of love.
Take it easy...
but take it.
I could write an entire book on the process. For me, one day, a little button was pushed and I very slowly began to rebuild. That was around 7 years ago, as I recollect. I can tell you, from someone who lived with the monsters watching from the shadows, and watched as demons tore my family apart, sometimes you can say "screw it" and start tearing down the walls. Then you find the lil bastard that's been chewing the wires and weakening the foundation.
He's not as scary as he sounds.
Wish I had the strength to share more, but I want anyone who's going through this to know that you're not alone. You have kin out there who want to see you succeed, too.
A while ago I had a dream in which I found an older man tinkering with a beaten pick-up. He was building it up to live in, and he revealed some advice that I repeat as a mantra that helps keep me going.
"Have courage, keep moving, don't be afraid to ask for help."


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## quoting_mungo (Nov 12, 2020)

zandelux said:


> I hope you're able to sort it out, @quoting_mungo. Don't hesitate to ask me anytime as I have a long history with sleep troubles. It sucks, and unfortunately a lot of people aren't really sympathetic about it.


I appreciate that! I’m hoping that I can get some balls rolling with the healthcare system over the next couple of months, but we’ll see.


TyraWadman said:


> I like soft and squishy that lets me sink right in and hugs me... weighted blankets would be cool too.


My grandma got me a weighted blanket and it’s done me pretty good... except for being so freaking hot! They need to make breezy ones. XD


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## soulbox (Nov 12, 2020)

Exercise doesn’t do much for me, but I know it’s healthy so I keep doing it. Honestly, the only thing that got me out of depression was Prozac. I went through a horrible period of anhedonia and I’m still recovering, but thanks to Prozac, I can really enjoy things again.

I’m sorry... I’m bad at coping with depression/anxiety myself. But maybe you should check out prozac if you haven’t already.


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## JacobFloofWoof (Nov 13, 2020)

CBD is good, sometimes, never found it to be as effective as much and most people brag, both full spectrum and isolated extract. Whatever the fuck is in full-spectrum causes anxiety and feels like I'm literally freaking out after waking up from a nap or some shit, I'll start feeling like my whole body is locking up and strange sensations all around if I take an extra dose. Oh well, not wasting my money on this shit anymore.


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## rekcerW (Nov 13, 2020)

I've been really affected by it for 13 years now, since grade 9 when I dropped out of school over bullying. My original goal was just to avoid anything that could put me in that kind of situation again, so somehow it worked out logically that I should just drop everything that I was passionate about to protect myself and just blend in as much as I could. Anything that I couldn't bring myself to let go I just kept under wraps, and I'm still that way. It worked for a while, it was easier just having nothing to worry about, but now it feels like I've wasted 13 years of my life and lost who I was, so I lost on that front in the long-run.

For me, at least, it's just a project of piece by piece trying to rebuild who I was and hopefully maybe feeling the kind of interest in creativity I used to have. It's been a long and arduous ordeal that I've been dealing with silently, and I'm trying my damndest to work myself to be comfortable with who I am like I was over a fucking decade ago. There has been some serious progress on that front, and it's not easy because it's a piece of shit to deal with, fuck I hate it, so it feels really good to actually realize that things can and are getting better as time goes on. The shit I can handle now compared to even a few years ago is incredible. You have to motivate yourself to get better, you have to find reasons to do it. Mine is that I can't lose myself, I can't just be some guy working a job, paying bills, and doing nothing else. I need something.

The thing is, and please don't read this the wrong way because it is incredibly unlikely, is that there is a fucking chance that depression can win. It's a fucking fight, all the time. It got my uncle, I never even knew he had it, my father deals with it too, I guess it can be hereditary. You have to be strong. I wish people knew how fucking hard it can be to manage. I just told another person that approached me not that long ago about their own hardships who felt out of place telling me. It surprised the shit out of them when I related with them, they had no idea. It was fucking awesome being able to help them out just by sharing stories.

I could count on one hand how many people that actually know me and the fact that I deal with depression on the regular, you can get pretty skillful in hiding it, but fuck me, when you're all alone and everything hits you, holy fuck.

It sucks being suspicious of being happy, because you wonder how long it's going to last, and if you're going to be worse or better than before you felt that way.

I don't know, what works for me is just picking little goals and working my way back up.


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## JacobFloofWoof (Nov 14, 2020)

I can't stand all these organic people who market their products and say stuff like "nature's xanax" in a bottle, then if look up the top 10 supplements for anxiety, all the articles are just copy and paste pseudo-science from previous articles. Back in 2016-19 I've wasted so much money on "doing things the natural way" bullshit. It's so deceitful to sell products and compare them to strong pharmaceutical drugs proven to work. They are in ways worse than pharmaceutical drug industry and prices, because they make outrages claims, and only a handful of the stuff you research will have a conclusive impact, if any. Some people with major placebo will post amazon reviews about how chamomile is as good as Valium or some shit.


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## Borophagus Metropolis (Nov 14, 2020)

Lupus Et Revertetur said:


> I can't stand all these organic people who market their products and say stuff like "nature's xanax" in a bottle, then if look up the top 10 supplements for anxiety, all the articles are just copy and paste pseudo-science from previous articles. Back in 2016-19 I've wasted so much money on "doing things the natural way" bullshit. It's so deceitful to sell products and compare them to strong pharmaceutical drugs proven to work. They are in ways worse than pharmaceutical drug industry and prices, because they make outrages claims, and only a handful of the stuff you research will have a conclusive impact, if any. Some people with major placebo will post amazon reviews about how chamomile is as good as Valium or some shit.



F that shit. I mean, essential oils can have soothing scents, but that's it. Chamomile is relaxing, but 100mg of diphenhydramine will knock me right out.


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## TyraWadman (Nov 14, 2020)

Anxiety, for me, isn't really an issue unless it's something I can't control, like losing a job and stressing over rent. 

Depression, I just have to accept. I have to accept that it's going to affect me every 2-3 weeks out of every month and that there's nothing I can do and no amount of yummy food is going to change it. If it keeps me from feeling satisfied with my drawing, I stop. If I can't feel motivated to do my usual hobbies, then I lay there and cry to music all day and night until the feeling is gone or I pass out. I can do things that will kill time, but they don't curb what I'm feeling in the slightest.


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## rekcerW (Nov 15, 2020)

TyraWadman said:


> Anxiety, for me, isn't really an issue unless it's something I can't control, like losing a job and stressing over rent.
> 
> Depression, I just have to accept. I have to accept that it's going to affect me every 2-3 weeks out of every month and that there's nothing I can do and no amount of yummy food is going to change it. If it keeps me from feeling satisfied with my drawing, I stop. If I can't feel motivated to do my usual hobbies, then I lay there and cry to music all day and night until the feeling is gone or I pass out. I can do things that will kill time, but they don't curb what I'm feeling in the slightest.


It's a shit thing, it's not fun at all. It's fucking amazing what that shit can take from you.


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## Lira Miraeta (Nov 19, 2020)

MEDDL3r said:


> Hope this is posted in the right place. I have been dealing with depression and anxiety for 10+ years. I deal with hating my self, low self image, no motivation and bad social anxiety. I am on a medication regimen but it isn't helping as much as it used to. I'm curious as to what's working for you medication wise(if you want to share)and other things that have helped. Thx for sharing in advance.


Medications alone will not help, psychotherapy is needed, and it is extremely important to find the right doctor who will be attentive to you and select the treatment that suits you personally, and not act according to the textbook, or even worse, his prejudices.


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## MaelstromEyre (Nov 20, 2020)

I am in my forties, diagnosed with ADHD, anxiety and depression when I was 31.  So, by that point, after my entire childhood and young adulthood spent struggling and not knowing why, I developed a lot of unhealthy coping mechanisms that I'm just now trying to unravel.  

My most obvious side effect is the scars - mostly on my forearms - when I get really stressed or upset I self-harm, scratching at any little imperfection or small scratch on my skin.  When I get really stressed, I stop eating.  In the past, I would not eat for days at a time because I just had no appetite.  I lost about 70lbs in seven months, I looked great and people complimented me on my weight loss, but I felt awful.  That was just before my diagnosis, and probably the worst I've ever been mentally.

I've tried medication for the ADHD and didn't care for it, though I am medicated now for the anxiety/depression and it has taken the edge off.  

I work in manufacturing, it can be stressful when things aren't going well, especially in the busy season.  When I first started working there, we has 12 hour shifts where we worked on alternate days, two or three at a time, then had scheduled days off where we couldn't be forced to work.  That suited me well because I knew I had those days to recover a bit.  Well, they stopped doing that, we're at 8 hour shifts and sometimes get forced to do double shifts, possibly with only two 25 minute breaks.  That wears me down.  I am at the point now where my doctor filled out FMLA paperwork for my job, to allow me intermittent leave each month as needed, and we're still working on getting all that sorted out.

I live in the USA, and mental healthcare is not always taken seriously.  There's not always a lot of help, and even if you DO get help, people will try to dismiss what you're dealing with.  They give advice like "just cheer up" or "other people have it worse, you're just being dramatic."

I heard those things from the time I was a kid.  I wish people would stop trying to give that kind of "advice" about mental health strugglies.


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## JacobFloofWoof (Nov 23, 2020)

"Changing medication is like shuffling deck chairs on the Titantic" ~ my friend said tonight.


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## TemetNosce88 (Nov 23, 2020)

On most days I ignore it and pretend it doesn't exist.
On the good days, meditation and cognitive-behavioral therapy techniques can help, as well as reading/remembering philosophy.
On the bad days, I let it completely overrun the rest of my life.

*This is a bad idea and you should not do what I do. Doing something is better than nothing.*


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## Lira Miraeta (Nov 23, 2020)

Lupus Et Revertetur said:


> "Changing medication is like shuffling deck chairs on the Titantic" ~ my friend said tonight.


Bad counselor. I suspect that your friend is very far from medicine.


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## JacobFloofWoof (Nov 23, 2020)

Lira Miraeta said:


> Bad counselor. I suspect that your friend is very far from medicine.


I'm not going to get into personal details, but aside from it being funny, it's mostly true from what I've seen.


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## zandelux (Nov 24, 2020)

Having a really shitty day today, and I'd post about it in the vent thread, but maybe some positive thoughts will come out of this. Bear with me, kinda just doing a brain dump right now.

It began with me getting not much sleep last night. I couldn't get much work done, so I just tried chilling in my living room watching The Office. My roommate came in and started talking to me, when all I really wanted to do was zone out and enjoy the show. One of those conversations that didn't even need to take place. I was in a terrible mood, so I sorta blew him off. I didn't say anything rude but made it pretty obvious I was not in a talkative mood. So now I'm feeling like a bad person.

Then there's some stuff on the Internet causing me to feel some drama. But is it actually directed at me, or am I just too sensitive to it and blowing it out of proportion in my mind?

I guess it all triangulates to me feeling like the world hates me. My roommate, the other people on the end of the "drama" (that might not even be drama), and my coworkers (even though they really have no way of knowing that I didn't do jack shit today). All I've been able to do today is play some video games, and I couldn't even really enjoy those. I feel like I have some blame in each of the bad things I'm dealing with, but fuck, I'm not a monster. I don't deserve to feel like one.

It's made me realize that I haven't really "cured" myself of my depression, like I previously thought. But, if there's one positive thing I've gained, it's the knowledge that I don't have to feel depressed all the time. The depression isn't some core part of me that I can never get rid of. I'm not made of depression. It's more like I got covered in mud by a car driving through a puddle.

I was actually on a pretty good roll for awhile there. I know I will feel good again. The biggest obstacle I'm facing right now is figuring out how to shake off the depression when it hits. But thankfully I know it's possible to shake it off, and I remember how good it feels. I'm going to focus on that to inspire me, and maybe do some creative writing.

Right before I started this post, I had just got back from a walk around my neighborhood. It was around sunset, my favorite time for a walk. I was trying to listen to an audiobook, but my bad mood kept distracting me from it. So I switched over to some Pink Floyd instead, and that worked a lot better. It didn't exactly lift my mood, but at least it kept me from spiraling into a deeper depression. I don't feel hungry, but I'm going to see if I can eat something since all I've had today was a bowl of cereal. While I'm eating I'll watch some Red Letter Media videos, because it's impossible for me not to laugh at those hack frauds.


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## TyraWadman (Nov 24, 2020)

zandelux said:


> Having a really shitty day today, and I'd post about it in the vent thread, but maybe some positive thoughts will come out of this. Bear with me, kinda just doing a brain dump right now.
> 
> It began with me getting not much sleep last night. I couldn't get much work done, so I just tried chilling in my living room watching The Office. My roommate came in and started talking to me, when all I really wanted to do was zone out and enjoy the show. One of those conversations that didn't even need to take place. I was in a terrible mood, so I sorta blew him off. I didn't say anything rude but made it pretty obvious I was not in a talkative mood. So now I'm feeling like a bad person.
> 
> ...



*_patpats_*

Sounds like the typical bundle of anxiety that comes with depression. If there's one thing I had to learn, it's that sometimes I have to just accept that my day is going to be wasted. Not because I want it to be, but because I can't do anything about it. People can call me lazy all they want, but it's obviously an unwinnable fight. 

For your situation I wouldn't even be surprised if it was just some kind of burnout, especially if there has been drama in the workplace. I find even when it has nothing to do with you, people still find ways to try and pull you in, if not make it the only subject in the breakroom for the next month. 

Glad to see that you are at least being mindful and taking care of yourself despite not being in the best of moods. 

I have to ask though...
What kind of cereal did you eat? >_>


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## Lira Miraeta (Nov 24, 2020)

zandelux said:


> Having a really shitty day today, and I'd post about it in the vent thread, but maybe some positive thoughts will come out of this. Bear with me, kinda just doing a brain dump right now.
> 
> It began with me getting not much sleep last night. I couldn't get much work done, so I just tried chilling in my living room watching The Office. My roommate came in and started talking to me, when all I really wanted to do was zone out and enjoy the show. One of those conversations that didn't even need to take place. I was in a terrible mood, so I sorta blew him off. I didn't say anything rude but made it pretty obvious I was not in a talkative mood. So now I'm feeling like a bad person.
> 
> ...


Hold on, I hope you will be able to overcome depression, I am rooting for you!


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## zandelux (Nov 24, 2020)

TyraWadman said:


> *_patpats_*


*gratefully accepts pats* :3



TyraWadman said:


> What kind of cereal did you eat? >_>


LMAO. Honey Nut Cheerios. Now I'm curious why you're curious. 

Anyway, I'm doing a bit better now. Feeling less bad and just kinda weird. And it's less of a distraction now, so I'm gonna play some games and hopefully I'll be able to lose myself in them.


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## TyraWadman (Nov 24, 2020)

zandelux said:


> *gratefully accepts pats* :3
> 
> 
> LMAO. Honey Nut Cheerios. Now I'm curious why you're curious.
> ...



Well... if they're _unfrosted_... it could be contributing to your lack of happiness levels. 
Frootloops are at least colorful and sugary and go grape with sliced bananas. UuU 

Obviously I'm just being sassy, but... that combo still legit tho.


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## Lira Miraeta (Nov 24, 2020)

Before the pandemic, I tried to get treatment from a free doctor, and then from another free doctor. Many years ago I was diagnosed with depression, but now I doubt it, I think I might have bipolar disorder due to extreme mood swings.
Just before lockdown, the psychotherapist told me that I need to drink Phenibut and walk every day for 2 hours in the park, or I can go swimming. I chose to walk. It seems that then I felt better, but less than a month later there was a lockdown. And then, Phenibut began to cause acute pain in the stomach and had to be canceled. I can no longer find the strength to do something. Yesterday I did physical exercises, at that moment when I twisted my arms, I saw a hallucination as I cut my veins.
I can’t bring myself to go to that doctor again, because I’m afraid to get infected with covid again, besides, the quality of his services is just disgusting, and I simply don’t have money for a paid doctor. I cannot work due to illness.
And yesterday I could not do anything, I was so terribly bad, I had to punch myself in the face to recover at least a little. After that I was able to cook the soup, hurray.
But self-harm is a very bad way, I do not recommend it to anyone, it is only for me an emergency measure when the situation is critical. I held on for 10 months and did not hit myself.


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## zandelux (Nov 25, 2020)

Lira Miraeta said:


> Before the pandemic, I tried to get treatment from a free doctor, and then from another free doctor. Many years ago I was diagnosed with depression, but now I doubt it, I think I might have bipolar disorder due to extreme mood swings.
> Just before lockdown, the psychotherapist told me that I need to drink Phenibut and walk every day for 2 hours in the park, or I can go swimming. I chose to walk. It seems that then I felt better, but less than a month later there was a lockdown. And then, Phenibut began to cause acute pain in the stomach and had to be canceled. I can no longer find the strength to do something. Yesterday I did physical exercises, at that moment when I twisted my arms, I saw a hallucination as I cut my veins.
> I can’t bring myself to go to that doctor again, because I’m afraid to get infected with covid again, besides, the quality of his services is just disgusting, and I simply don’t have money for a paid doctor. I cannot work due to illness.
> And yesterday I could not do anything, I was so terribly bad, I had to punch myself in the face to recover at least a little. After that I was able to cook the soup, hurray.
> But self-harm is a very bad way, I do not recommend it to anyone, it is only for me an emergency measure when the situation is critical. I held on for 10 months and did not hit myself.



*hugs*

I'm glad that you only use self-harm as a last resort, but it still hurts me to see someone in such a bad situation. I hope things get better for you soon.


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## Lira Miraeta (Nov 25, 2020)

zandelux said:


> *hugs*
> 
> I'm glad that you only use self-harm as a last resort, but it still hurts me to see someone in such a bad situation. I hope things get better for you soon.


Thank you for your support, it is very important.


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## zandelux (Nov 25, 2020)

Thank you for your support, everyone. Feeling much better today. I'm gonna spend some time mentally unpacking my day yesterday to see if I can find something useful.


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## kevintheradioguy (Nov 25, 2020)

I want to say I go to professionals, but I've neglected that for months now, and I hate myself dor this. Only a professional can help with depressive episodes and anxiety. Please, do not self-treat, seek professional help if this is serious.


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## Parabellum3 (Nov 30, 2020)

Medication, cannabis, and my plushies.


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## rekcerW (Nov 30, 2020)

zandelux said:


> Having a really shitty day today, and I'd post about it in the vent thread, but maybe some positive thoughts will come out of this. Bear with me, kinda just doing a brain dump right now.
> 
> It began with me getting not much sleep last night. I couldn't get much work done, so I just tried chilling in my living room watching The Office. My roommate came in and started talking to me, when all I really wanted to do was zone out and enjoy the show. One of those conversations that didn't even need to take place. I was in a terrible mood, so I sorta blew him off. I didn't say anything rude but made it pretty obvious I was not in a talkative mood. So now I'm feeling like a bad person.
> 
> ...


That is an amount of expertise that can only come with time, and you will get good at it. Make it important to not lose yourself, don't do that, because there's so much catching up to do if you let that happen. At the end of the day, you are you, and you can't change that as much as you wish you might be able to do. The worst thing that is going to happen is that you're going to waste time trying to get back to where you were when you were happy, don't do that, it sucks.


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## JacobFloofWoof (Nov 30, 2020)

I have a bluetooth speaker and headphones. I turn off most or all the lights, and play classical or new age music to try to help put me into a state of relaxation so I could sleep, but I still end up having nightmares and weird dreams. I miss those full, deep dreamless nights, and I would wake feeling well rested.


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## JacobFloofWoof (Dec 6, 2020)

I have symptoms indictive of BPD, definitive severe anxiety and constant worry, hypochondria, panic disorder, DP/DR, nightmares, restlessness, insomnia, muscle twitching all over, depression, visual snow, etc. As a readily available item, alcohol seems to help the best for some things, at this point. I feel bad that I wasted a lot of money on all these "placebo" teas and supplements over the years that don't do anything.


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## sampomkjiu (Jul 24, 2021)

The only person with whom I discussed this was my psychologist. I closed my eyes for a long time to my problems, but every day it got worse. I am very grateful to my relatives. They could not look at me like that, although I did not have enough support, they made me go to the doctor. With my doctor, I started covering my long tails that worried me. Since then, my life began to improve, I began to look at the world differently, at that situation. If you have problems you must go to the doctor.


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## Xitheon (Jul 24, 2021)

Parabellum3 said:


> Medication, cannabis, and my plushies.


I envy you.

I can't get cannabis. It's not legal in my country. I just drink and it makes me feel worse.


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## Nexus Cabler (Jul 24, 2021)

Sunlight.

Human verbal interaction.

Have a plant, stuffed animal, or other pleasant objects around you.

Those are easy ones for me.


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## O.D.D. (Jul 24, 2021)

Alcohol and cigarettes.  Don't recommend.


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## Xitheon (Jul 24, 2021)

A nice pet cat is a possible depression cure, now that I think about it.

My kitty, Blue, is an affectionate little shit and just having him on my lap calms and comforts me.


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## Parabellum3 (Jul 24, 2021)

Xitheon said:


> I envy you.
> 
> I can't get cannabis. It's not legal in my country. I just drink and it makes me feel worse.


I actually kinda stopped the cannabis. So it’s just meds and plushies for me now.


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## the sleepiest kitty (Aug 2, 2021)

I cry it away


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## Flamingo (Aug 6, 2021)

Are you a vitamin adbot?


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## RogueNoodle (Aug 7, 2021)

gracewil said:


> My best friend has depression and anxiety for over 10 years now. She refused to take strong medicals. It is getting better and worse and she made her peace with it. She takes valeriana pills (plus vitamin d, omega 3 all the time) when anxiety is very bad and it helps her a bit. She is also a lot into sports now and i can see it has changed her life in a good way.


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## O.D.D. (Aug 7, 2021)

Flamingo said:


> Are you a vitamin adbot?


Well, it's not like you're going to do anything about it until someone gets angry.


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## Pogo (Aug 7, 2021)

the sleepiest kitty said:


> I cry it away


Sometimes i do too


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## TyraWadman (Aug 7, 2021)

O.D.D. said:


> Well, it's not like you're going to do anything about it until someone gets angry.



I made the report.
Let the man do his job please.


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