# Look for some feedback my work of first adult comic



## Glitter_Daddy (Jan 4, 2021)

This will be my first adult comic and I know it still early but without text is the pages readable, can you guys some what understand what's going on? Thanks for your time.


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## Vinfang (Jan 4, 2021)

P1, I think it is meant to be read from left to right. but the frames don't specificly direct my eyes to the flow. the bench in F3 in not in perspective. people generally open door / put away keys in the same hand.

P2, breast are hard to read.

P3, floor is too high. last frame lost its meaning. maybe add a tiny black frame to indicate character is asleep?

P4, not sure why the emphasis on the bg of last 2 frames. works better if one of them is show in medium shot.

P5, F2 hand should come in from top right corner to match your character's perspective. 

P6, F1 character jawline is a bit warped.


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## Glitter_Daddy (Jan 4, 2021)

Vinfang said:


> P1, I think it is meant to be read from left to right. but the frames don't specificly direct my eyes to the flow. the bench in F3 in not in perspective. people generally open door / put away keys in the same hand.
> 
> P2, breast are hard to read.
> 
> ...


Thanks for the feedback.


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