# Does you feel lonely in the fandom?



## fourur (Apr 28, 2018)

Since I joined the fandom, maybe 2, 3 years , i haven't had the chance to go in a convention, because there rare where I am , and on internet , especially on discord , I think many users are on the platforme just to shitposting, jokes  and that all.

It's hard to make friends on the internet.


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## Zrcalo (Apr 28, 2018)

99% of the people I'm friends with irl are furries. I would definitely look to see if there's meets in your area. it's really helpful to me. Also furries on facebook are generally more friendly and down to hang out than people not on facebook.


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## Yakamaru (Apr 28, 2018)

I do not feel lonely. I have all my social needs met through the internet. 

0% of my friends IRL are Furries, and I intend to keep it that way.


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## Gronix (Apr 28, 2018)

I mean, the range of people that fall under 'furry' is way too broad, so broad in fact that it's not really something that you can use as a sole reason for friendship. There are a *very* lot of furries you don't want to be friends with.

Instead, if you have this in common, look at it as a secondary little thing that connects you two. A bonus.

It's not hard to make friends at all, you just have to look at specific common interests, and where to look. Let that be music, art creation, games, hobbies, anything that you could extensively talk about with someone for example. Don't seek to be friends with people who you can't have a conversation with, or you'll be disappointed and efforts will be wasted.
You'll probably have to take on the initiative though, since people won't flock to you, you'll need to seek out the people yourself.

I don't use mainstream social media at all either, yet I'm all fine.


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## AppleButt (Apr 28, 2018)

I’m a pretty lonely dude in general.  I don’t have many friends IRL, and I don’t have any that are in any way furry.

I don’t make friends easily, and even though I went to anthrocon twice, I couldn’t make friends.  It’s not easy for me to go strike up a conversation with someone.  It’s something I’ve been trying to work on.

I did try striking up conversations on amino before, and I did pretty okay.  Like you said though, the majority of the time a chat room was mostly shit posting, and a lot of the people were 13 year olds.  I joined one conversation with them and they thought it was the weirdest thing that I was a furry at my age.  Like what, really?  Okay then.  

I’m pretty comfortable with the few friends I have, though.   I don’t really need more.

Loneliness has never been a bad feeling for me.


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## Sunburst_Odell (Apr 28, 2018)

Not really. Since I'm so active on this forum, I join in on conversations all the time. I can't say I've really made many friendships within the fandom but I have met some cool non-furries online. I'm more of a "let fate bring me friends" kind of person; I don't seek them out.


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## Mayflower (Apr 28, 2018)

I wouldn't say I feel lonely in the fandom. Can't exactly say I have much connection to many people either. I don't make friends easily, and I don't really try either online. I would probably chat with people on Discord, or participate in roleplays, if I were looking to make friends. I'm not good at either if those, so I just stick to posting a bit on forums. 

I like to talk about furry interests through PMs, but I have mixed experience talking to random people, and now avoid contact with people I'm not familiar with.


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## Rakiya (Apr 28, 2018)

I've been around the furry fandom for a similar length of time (A bit over 2 years). 
And to be honest I'm not really sure.
On one hand I'd love to meet new people and make some friends...
But on the other hand I've gotten to the point where I don't really care anymore either?

I've had my fair share of shallow interactions with people. ("How's your day been?")
I've had a fair few heated debates where I agree and disagree with certain people.
I've even had an odd creep or two that have gotten way too friendly, way too quickly. 
But none of these friendships last long, and even the most promising ones have fizzled out with time.

Guess it just goes to show that people on FA aren't a substitute for real friends xD
I've had no problem with people outside the fandom (non-furs)... 
But from what I can tell, it seems people prefer to stick to friends they know in real life around here.


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## Gronix (Apr 28, 2018)

The pointless 'How are you?'s and similar lines make me shiver to this day, I've heard them way too much, ones that have no intent behind them, talking for the sake of talking without anything behind it.
"Hi"
"Hey"
"How are you"
"xyz"
"That's good/That sucks"
--end of conversation--

But no, seriously don't be fooled by the sheer number of bad candidates, it's the same way in real life, you don't click/can become friends with just anyone on the street without sharing something 'important'.
I've had, and have numerous very long lasting great friendships (and relationship still for years) with internet-met people, 4 years ago I've met some really amazing people on this very forum even.

Picking the right people and getting in touch is an art on itself but it's not a hopeless cause the slightest, I started with no experience too.

In fact, me self-learning english and venturing out to the internet with international eyes was the greatest thing I've ever done, I can look for people with similar interests however I want, and with a much, much larger audience from all over the world opposed to the lagging-behind-in-time, shameful country and place I live in. 

I have friends of course "real" friends as you would call them, but calling them real is deceiving, since you can meet very real friends on the internet as well.


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## Aibiki (Apr 28, 2018)

Yeah, if only because of how new I am to it. 

Maybe the discord chats I joined will help with that. :3


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## TrishaCat (Apr 28, 2018)

Making friends on the internet is the easy part as far as I can tell.
The hard part is having close friendships with irl people in the fandom. Online friendships only go so far, and they aren't a replacement for real human interaction imo. I'm not able to go to conventions either (no car and no license), and I often see people online posting about how they went to a convention together or ran into each other at a convention and it always seemed really cool. I often find myself a tad jelly of such people, as they wind up basically having true irl friendships (or at least something closer than just knowing each other online). I don't have many irl friends I hang out with much, and I have even fewer people I feel I really relate to, so I've always wanted to have an irl friend in the fandom, which is something I have yet to attain. There were a couple furries in the anime club at my college, but they were....weird. Kind, but weird.


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## Judge Spear (Apr 28, 2018)

Not really, no. For one, you wouldnt catch me dead in disguise at a furry convention. I also mever found it particularly difficult (or pressing) to make friends online. Just talk to people about mutual interests in a not creepy fashion.


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## Amber_Sakura_Wolf (Apr 28, 2018)

fourur said:


> Since I joined the fandom, maybe 2, 3 years , i haven't had the chance to go in a convention, because there rare where I am , and on internet , especially on discord , I think many users are on the platforme just to shitposting, jokes  and that all.
> 
> It's hard to make friends on the internet.


 I feel you. I have no friends who are furries. If anything some support me for it, but most hate that part of me.


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## Rakiya (Apr 28, 2018)

Gronix said:


> you don't click/can become friends with just anyone on the street without sharing something 'important'.


Argh, with all due respect... that made me cringe. One of the few things that are worse than a boring conversation is a pity-fest. Literally have had conversations that go.
"Hello"
"Hey"
"I'm sorry if my english isn't good, I have dyslexia and aspergers and my father beats me for it"
It's probably not what you meant when you said "important"... but I've seen so many people that confuse interesting with tragic bullshit stories. Sure, it's the internet. Be whoever you want to be.... I'd just appreciate it if these people stuck to their own circle jerks xD



Battlechili said:


> Making friends on the internet is the easy part as far as I can tell.
> The hard part is having close friendships with irl people in the fandom. Online friendships only go so far, and they aren't a replacement for real human interaction imo. I'm not able to go to conventions either (no car and no license), and I often see people online posting about how they went to a convention together or ran into each other at a convention and it always seemed really cool. I often find myself a tad jelly of such people, as they wind up basically having true irl friendships (or at least something closer than just knowing each other online).


I think it's also important to note that people have varying definitions of what a friend is.
For example, I might have 1000 friends on Facebook, but lets face it, at least 80% of those people are either family or one off people you never really talk to. 
I will agree though, I do get a tad bit jealous when people talk about conventions; who they met, what they did, and how much fun they had. It's probably the main reason I can't decide whether I fit into the whole lonely category of things. xD


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## Firuthi Dragovic (Apr 29, 2018)

Okay, I'll admit I'm a LITTLE lonely right now, but it's really my own fault on that one, since I'd recently ended a relationship with a couple of furries who I initially thought were friends.  (Far as I know they don't go here, but I'm not saying any more about this in the open.)  Still getting over that.

Beyond that, however?  I don't exactly make a lot of friends as it is, either IRL or online.  I could go into details, but suffice to say the area where I live isn't very conducive to meeting people in general, let alone other furries.  (And conventions for anything basically require plane travel.)  On the online side, I just don't actively seek out friendships and in the past it's generally taken me 1-2 YEARS of knowing someone before I could even hold a conversation outside the first common interest.  I think I've improved there but haven't had much chance to really try it.

I used to be much bigger on forums as a way of communicating with people, but all my previous ones had a much more narrow focus.  With a topic as broad as "furry"... it might take me a while before I really interact much.


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## Filter (Apr 29, 2018)

Although lonely may not be the best word to describe it, I  often feel alone in the fandom. I'm older, straighter, and less of a drama llama than the average fur. I just kind of do my own thing, enjoying the art, the costuming, and the other creative elements. On the rare occasion that I hang out with furries IRL, they're usually artists.



Gronix said:


> The pointless 'How are you?'s and similar lines make me shiver to this day, I've heard them way too much, ones that have no intent behind them, talking for the sake of talking without anything behind it.
> "Hi"
> "Hey"
> "How are you"
> ...



99.9% of my conversations on Second Life, lol.


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## Gronix (Apr 29, 2018)

Filter said:


> Although lonely may not be the best word to describe it, I  often feel alone in the fandom. I'm older, straighter, and less of a drama llama than the average fur. I just kind of do my own thing, enjoying the art, the costuming, and the other creative elements. On the rare occasion that I hang out with furries IRL, they're usually artists.



I misread costuming for 'consuming', got a little confused there.


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## zenmaldita (Apr 29, 2018)

timezone difference can really make me feel lonely sometimes...that's why I drown myself in art commission work until my friends go online (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧
as for IRL, I've got tons of IRL furry friends - I suppose, that's what you get for studying animation in college ^^" 

anyways~ I've only joined the fandom about a month ago and have pretty much settled in. Being open and chatty helps. 
It's relatively easy in a forum where the topic is already out there for you to just reply to. There's also the RP we're doing - it's a fun way to interact specially since we can post our OOC comments as well. It feels like we're all discussing a Soap Opera we're watching lol
Maybe you'd wanna give that a try, @fourur ? We'll be happy to have you!


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## BahgDaddy (Apr 29, 2018)

XoPachi said:


> Not really, no. For one, you wouldnt catch me dead in disguise at a furry convention. I also mever fpund it particularly difficult (or pressing) to make friends online. Just talk to people about mutual interests in a not creepy fashion.



Hi therrrrrre *talks to you in a creepy fashion* how you doing


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## GarthTheWereWolf (Apr 29, 2018)

Nope not lonely. Some of my favorite people I’ve met through the fandom. <:


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## Judge Spear (Apr 29, 2018)

BahgDaddy said:


> Hi therrrrrre *talks to you in a creepy fashion* how you doing



I dunno...I guess this was supposed to resemble a joke?


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## Deleted member 111470 (Apr 29, 2018)

Yeah, sometimes I wish I talked to more people.


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## Uncle Jackalope (Apr 29, 2018)

I would definitely say I feel lonely in the fandom. I am on many discord furry servers, but a few problems I have run in to is the immaturity of many members. I often find that the members I meet on discord are either trying to get everyone to pity them and it's hard to hold a conversation without them bringing up their problems or these members are so focused on "meme culture" that every second message is a meme, etc. Which can also be hard to have a reasonable conversation with.


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## Crimcyan (Apr 30, 2018)

I don't feel lonely in this fandom, but at times I do feel like I am overcrowded.

I don't care to have irl friend's who are furries, but if I meet someone then find out they are a furry thats fine. But im not going to go out and search solely for are furries to make friends with.


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## Astus (Apr 30, 2018)

I feel less lonely in the Fandom than not, mainly I'd say because there are people who I don't necessarily need to hide things from here and I can be more of myself. However I, like many others (it seems by looking at other posts), do find it hard to actually make friends and keep them to the point where it's not like 



Gronix said:


> "Hi"
> "Hey"
> "How are you"
> "xyz"
> ...



It ties into the other thread about social anxiety, finding people who you are comfortable with and being able to keep them can just be a chore for someone who's brain is not trusting or misinterpreting things. Which in turn makes you not want to start conversations, can make the other person think you're not interested in talking, or will just prevent conversation from happening in the first place. However I've had some success in the Fandom overall and I've somewhat been getting better online... so it's not entirely lonely, just sort of because of personal reasons ;p


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## Amber_Sakura_Wolf (Apr 30, 2018)

I also haven’t made really any friends in the fandom. I’ve been a part of the fandom officially for about a year now, yet I mostly talk to my array of characters. Though my best friend is borderlinimg between normal and furry, so I might have one. Plus I have many friends who support that I’m a furry (since I’m into the family friendly stuff to pg-13 things.)


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## wolfdreamer_audio (May 6, 2018)

fourur said:


> Since I joined the fandom, maybe 2, 3 years , i haven't had the chance to go in a convention, because there rare where I am , and on internet , especially on discord , I think many users are on the platforme just to shitposting, jokes  and that all.
> 
> It's hard to make friends on the internet.


Its definitely hard, I even made a Website just recently call FurPassport, but its taking forever to set up.  I just added a user upload plugin to my site for images, also you can post videos.  At the moment, I'm still configuring everything in the site.  You can also chat with people, but you need to sign up for an account (Its free) to have access to the chat.  Its hard to get the word around about my website, but eventually it may take off or it may not.  If you're interested in looking at the website the url is FurPassport | Your FurPassport Is waiting   It still has a way to go before it is even finished, but I'm going to try to update it has much as I can.  I have hostgator as my host, but for now, my limit for space is only a terabyte.


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## Deleted member 82554 (May 6, 2018)

Back when I was more heavily invested in the fandom, yeah, maybe a little, but not so much anymore...


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## Water Draco (May 6, 2018)

I have through the fandom found a way for myself to be more communicative.

Being self employed and with the work I do I can mean that I can end up spending extended periods working alone. Also the hours I work can be very anti-social and also not knowing where I will be from one day to the next at short notice can make it difficult to make plans. 

Also the community in which I live the opportunity to generally socialise is heavily weighed towards bar culture where there is a lot of heavy drinking and regular larguments (largument = alcohol induced argument loud between two or more people that are incapable of having a intelligent conversation)
I do enjoy some alcoholic beverages my self for the taste I don't like being intoxicated. So excursions for me to local bars are a rare occurrence. 

So through interaction online, and with the furmeet I attended which occurs typically once every three weeks little bit easier for me to ring fence the date. I am expanding my properties to interact with other people in conversation. I am certainly enjoying the opportunity being able to communicate with such a diverse range of people with all manner of backgrounds and interests.  

This has also rekindled the idea for me to try and set up something in the community where I live to provide a opportunity for people like my self to be able to socialise, that are not in to the bar culture. 

As for feeling lonely in the fandom. I'm some what independent and do my own thing. I always endeavor to treat acquaintances politely and with respect. Although I do take time to form bonds of friendship, and to those I do call friends I am very loyal. 
I could not say that I experience loneliness in the fandom because it is just a fandom and loneliness is something you experience in life in general. But the fandom can offer the opportunity to change that by enabling you with the opportunities to interact with others through many formats. 

The feeling of loneliness is an indication to make a change. And it is for yourself to take the steps to make that change. It can seem daunting because you have to overcome the barriers you have placed in front of yourself. But the rewards that can be gained for yourself by pushing yourself out passed the barriers can negate the anxiety that was there in the first place.


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## Kit H. Ruppell (May 6, 2018)

I'm surrounded by furries in real life, but I still feel alone.


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## Casey Fluffbat (May 6, 2018)

Do I feel lonely? Not really, I don't have a strong attachment to this fandom so I don't mind doing my own thing. Am I lonely? Yes, the reason I'm in the fandom is hardly what anyone else is looking for, so I can't say I'm surprised I'm not making meaningful connections.


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## Inkblooded (May 6, 2018)

Not lonely just looked down upon. contrary to popular belief furries arent "friendly" thats just part of their roleplay personas. they're judgmental people who reject anyone who doesnt fit their ideals.

and since I only interact with the fandom as a commission artist I end up dealing with all sorts of rude and entitled people.


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## Friskyaa123 (May 6, 2018)

I talk with regular non-furry people lol, I think sometimes it can be a fun 'perspective' in common talking with other furries online though. Half LGBT stuff, half shell-shock situation lol


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## Matt the Terrier (May 8, 2018)

I sort of feel lonely. I'm not literally lonely but. . .eh, how do I explain. Like. . .I don't feel like a furry, as much as I try to convince myself otherwise. I do have a few furry friends, but they all live out of state or out of country in one particular case. I want to get a fursuit, but don't have the money. I don't feel brave enough to go to a furry con, and even then, the closest ones would probably be in Chicago or East St Louis (because apparently those are the only two cities in Illinois that people know about).

Like. . .it's just that, I don't know how else to explain it. I'm not lonely in the literal sense, I just don't feel like I'm part of this community. I haven't come out directly as a furry on deviantArt, which I think would be a better place to meet furries as it's a lot more flexible, but. . .this is FurAffinity. This is the hub for furries. It shouldn't be _that_ hard.

I think part of it does come down to finding people who, yes, are furries, but also have other interests in common with me, like being a railway enthusiast, a tractor enthusiast, or a video game enthusiast (I'm more interested in the history aspect of it rather than actually playing games).


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## Izar (May 9, 2018)

My level of loneliness seems to change with the day TBH. I've noticed FB is pretty good at meeting locals furs. I have a couple IRL friends who are furries. I feel that there is an additional challenge in feeling "Included" in this community. A lot of the community does have social anxiety issues (like me). It's hard not to have social anxiety when society labels you a weirdo and a misfit because you like anthropomorphic characters.


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## Asassinator (May 9, 2018)

I get lonely when no one is online chatting. That can happen a lot, which is why I'm so lonely.


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## Asassinator (May 9, 2018)

I get lonely when no one is online chatting. That can happen a lot, which is why I'm so lonely.


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## Ciderfine (May 10, 2018)

The lonely trend has risen due to many people leaving the fandom, many art sites and in general a lot of hostility from others in it, both furry and non fandom based. I get lonely in the sense that I miss the creative and honest workings of people and their take on the vibes, designs and throw back picnics they brought in breath wise to the community.

Since the fandom is being flooded with fake artists and cringy bad/asset flipped artwork, and endless ychs or trouble makers yeah I'm lonely that all the good people tend to be leaving or making the fandom a money only front for their presence. Meet a lot of toxic friendships that's burned faster than white phosphorus but oh well. Learning experiences for all sinking ships.

But mainly I miss the past of when I found the fandom, it was more stable, had every, flow, real designs that defined it. Now its just empty...paywalls and souless porn. Where is the fruit salad love for the animals....It feels like a house about to be sold.


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## Friskyaa123 (May 10, 2018)

Ciderfine said:


> Where is the fruit salad love for the animals



not sure if what you meant by 'fruit salad' but furry has forgotten its roots in LGBT people exploring themselves, maybe


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## Ciderfine (May 10, 2018)

Frisky1753 said:


> not sure if what you meant by 'fruit salad' but furry has forgotten its roots in LGBT people exploring themselves, maybe



By that I meant the overall diversity and different skills people had. 

That's the biggest issue, its not an LGBT place or related to anything of them historical wise since say stonewall or other notable Civil rights events. It's just a character creation and artwork based community. The only thing related to the GBT community is that overall it is accepting.

...Or was. Been running into a lot of Antifa queer folk attacking other people of the sexual range because they aren't agreeing with. Been seeing a rise of self homophobia and heterophobia in the fandom as well. Been seeing a lot of hostile trans people as well, attacking queer folk. I dunno where the fandom is headed, its got some social issues like fever, it will pass but right now the fandom is about people, not queer folk. Were just more accepting than say some places in the world.


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## Friskyaa123 (May 10, 2018)

Ciderfine said:


> By that I meant the overall diversity and different skills people had.
> 
> That's the biggest issue, its not an LGBT place or related to anything of them historical wise since say stonewall or other notable Civil rights events. It's just a character creation and artwork based community. The only thing related to the GBT community is that overall it is accepting.
> 
> ...Or was. Been running into a lot of Antifa queer folk attacking other people of the sexual range because they aren't agreeing with. Been seeing a rise of self homophobia and heterophobia in the fandom as well. Been seeing a lot of hostile trans people as well, attacking queer folk. I dunno where the fandom is headed, its got some social issues like fever, it will pass but right now the fandom is about people, not queer folk. Were just more accepting than say some places in the world.



I said I bet most furries don't even know the 'kinsey scale'. I also made a Huehuecoyotl thread lol

the old school furry stuff, even a predominantly straight artist, I think Max Blackrabbit once, would draw the occasional handsome naked furry guy. Kinsey scale in action, lel. Also the Kinsey research stuff was confidential I'm sure. Furry was 'confidential' back then

Edit: haha awesome

Kinsey Reporter: Share and explore anonymous data about sex.

'fur fetish' is included lol


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## Ciderfine (May 10, 2018)

What you just said makes no sense based on what I replied from and to. And frankly I dont think an application has enough to scientific data and fluid stability to even be considered a source on the topic of GBT fandom members or its history in the U.S.


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## Ciderfine (May 10, 2018)

Amber_Sakura_Wolf said:


> I also haven’t made really any friends in the fandom. I’ve been a part of the fandom officially for about a year now, yet I mostly talk to my array of characters. Though my best friend is borderlinimg between normal and furry, so I might have one. Plus I have many friends who support that I’m a furry (since I’m into the family friendly stuff to pg-13 things.)



This is normal on all levels, even being here for 7-8 years I only have bout 4-8 friends that are related to the fandom in all. Not an easy site to make fast friends in beehive numbers.


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## Friskyaa123 (May 10, 2018)

Ciderfine said:


> What you just said makes no sense based on what I replied from and to. And frankly I dont think an application has enough to scientific data and fluid stability to even be considered a source on the topic of GBT fandom members or its history in the U.S.



eh, I was saying perhaps everyone's capable of ambigous experiences and shouldn't form camps of what their orientation or identity etc. is. Should appreciate being 'different' in one way or another


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## Deleted member 106754 (May 12, 2018)

*I might step a bit too far out of the whole subject, but in all honesty I've always thought there's something more to it and not only on sites like maybe this one.*

I've never really seen it discussed or talked about broadly so I thought I'd throw it in here.

Not going to say it's impossible to make friends and meet new people as it's not true, but your average internet user is far from what it was maybe 10 years ago, maybe even 5. My choice of words might not be perfect in this case but I honestly believe just going a few years back in time, people hanging around on forums or in communities in general no matter what site you were on, were a bit more dedicated and involved with whatever matter it was about. I do not want it to sound like it's only my nostalgia speaking but I honestly believe there's something to it and I think some of you can think back and maybe feel it too.

It wasn't as common for as many people to be connected in the same way, but also the average age for people you talked with probably went up drastically. Even though many had internet it was not as common or easy to stay connected 24/7 even in something like 2005. Not to mention we didn't have things like Facebook, barely Myspace(as an example), and myspace back then was no where near in user count or wide spread adoption. If you give it a thinker you can probably start rambling up what kind of popular social sites that were the bees knees back when you personally started to become really active on the internet, and many here probably grew up with the internet booming, I myself being one of those people.

I honestly believe most people see interaction with users on the internet differently and not as special today, if we'd go back and select a group of people and compare. Personally I've been lurking about a bit here and there in my days and I don't think it's just me, or other certain individuals that has become less social, but rather a bigger picture changing too. I guess I could flesh out my post a bit more and ramble about examples and what not but I honestly believe many will see the point I'm trying to explain.

More stuff going on everywhere on different sites, more broad spread adoption of social lives on the internet and what you can do online. I think it makes it so a lot of people not necessarily falling into the cookie cutter shapes of how to use the different social platforms feeling more lonely than they probably would a few years back in time. I personally feel like the general landscape has changed drastically over time and it seems like there's many factors, not super obvious but certainly something.


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## Amber_Sakura_Wolf (May 13, 2018)

Ciderfine said:


> This is normal on all levels, even being here for 7-8 years I only have bout 4-8 friends that are related to the fandom in all. Not an easy site to make fast friends in beehive numbers.


I honestly just want maybe 2 or 3 friends. At least enough to have a way to feel ok with going to a convention without thinking that my family will judge me for my interests.


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## ArtVulpine (May 13, 2018)

Sometimes I feel isolated, like this fandom is so big that I'm shoved into the corner and forgotten. I have some IRL furry friends, but they're busy with work and life. I'm active on Facebook, but here on FA and DA I'm just...here. Now I'm not looking to be some popufur or attention seeking furry, but just someone here to say hello once and a while.


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## Infrarednexus (May 13, 2018)

I feel more lonely now than I did before. I used to be friends with a lot of people here but all that changed because of these stupid drama threads about politics and racism being everywhere. Everyone here just want's to argue and it's cost me some of my best friends. I just wanted to come to this place and have a good time, and occasionally have a mature debate, but evidently some people are so angry and rude that it's become nearly impossible to do so. I miss being friends with a lot of people here, and I wish we never got into the arguments that separated us.


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## Asassinator (May 13, 2018)

Infrarednexus said:


> I feel more lonely now than I did before. I used to be friends with a lot of people here but all that changed because of these stupid drama threads about politics and racism being everywhere. Everyone here just want's to argue and it's cost me some of my best friends. I just wanted to come to this place and have a good time, and occasionally have a mature debate, but evidently some people are so angry and rude that it's become nearly impossible to do so. I miss being friends with a lot of people here, and I wish we never got into the arguments that separated us.


Don't worry Nexus, I'll always be here >w<


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## Blythulu (May 14, 2018)

I'm new to the fandom for the most part, because I just came out of lurking status when I made this account. I don't think I feel quite 'lonely', but I definitely still feel those 'new kid' jitters of not having a handle on stuff and worrying I'll mess up. The political and religious threads definitely make me feel even more nervous about trying to make friends, because I have yet to see a true garbage fire myself but keep hearing about them from others (though there's one thread in the community sub right now that I keep sort of peeking at and then shrinking back from).

Maybe I've just been involved in enough hobbies, but my expectations are kind of... lowish. Like, I want to make friends, but I'm also very aware that _one_ common interest (ie furries, in this case) does not a best-friend make. I've been a member of multiple subcultures over the years, some that involve meetups, and that was a big mistake I always saw people making. You aren't going to click just over one shared hobby, people are more complicated then that. So I'm not looking for best friends, just a few nice conversations (so avoiding the scary threads) and maybe a roleplay partner or two. (I've RPed a _lot_ outside of the fandom with human characters, I've had one rp partner going on ten years now, she's a peach).

I definitely think shitposting has lead to a decline in the quality of conversation, and thus ability to actually connect with someone, online. I've noticed that across the board in all the communities I hang out with. That said... not everyone shitposts. So when I notice a community- forum, discord, ect- where that happens a lot, I just end up looking elsewhere to have conversations with people. In my experience, it's impossible to really connect or talk, even on a base level, with shitposters around. But that's just me. I get that's fun, it's just not my jam. I also have a chip on my shoulder- have had a few great roleplay communities utterly decimated by shitposters. haha. But like I said, I just move on when it happens.

Perhaps you should pick up more non-furry hobbies so you don't feel so isolated in the furry community for not connecting with people? It might help with the negative emotions you are feeling. I hope it gets better. Feeling lonely sucks.


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## Friskyaa123 (May 14, 2018)

I agree with the last part. I go out and on the flipside, I would feel weird if I didn't hang around furry chats and stuff either. Just strike a balance between the two. I met a guy who wanted to completely separate the furry stuff from real (professional) life and it came across as really paranoid. Maybe money and success really does make people unhappy, less opportunities to give it all up for being a (happy) weirdo instead, lol


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## tato (May 16, 2018)

It's hard to make real connections without going out of your way to try! I've found the best way to find some lasting friends is to either:
-Post tons of stuff, see who comments the most, reply to them, see where the conversations go
or
-Comment on tons of content that you enjoy (meaningful comments, not just one or two words), and then strike up the courage to send  a note to that person! 

I have this anxiety that all the talented people out there are somehow some sunglasses wearing badass who'll think I'm scum  not worthy to even lick the dust off of their soles. It's just. how I imagine EVERYONE I think is talented. When in actuality, they're 90% of the time just as anxious and awkward and shy as I am. 

One day I decided to message someone who I thought was way out of my league, and just told them how much I appreciated their art. aaaaaaaaand we became best friends since then XD 

So tell me, what are you interested in? Like what is your "thing?" For me, it's WWII history XD


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## tato (May 16, 2018)

Also! Try hitting up people's streams! You can usually find SOMEone streaming in the Recently UPloaded Pics. If someone runs a consistent stream, visit the stream... consistently! You'll find a lot of repeat guests to chat with n.n


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## Friskyaa123 (May 16, 2018)

tato said:


> not worthy to even lick the dust off of their soles



isn't this some people's fetish though (joking)


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## Nikas Zekeval (May 16, 2018)

I have to agree with the OP, but coming at it from the other end.  I have friends that are furry, but life seems to have most of us drift from the Fandom.  And between a rough few years of RL, then a few job related moves?  Well kinda fell out of any face to face contact.  AC used to be my go to, but it is hard for me to just walk up and make friends, especially in that environment.

Trying to see if there is some way to break the ice online again, and arrange face-to-face from there.  Either locally or con-share and meetups.


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## Lexiand (May 18, 2018)

most of my friends in rl are not furries.


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## Summer (May 18, 2018)

I've been eager to get back to being more involved with art.  The idealistic notion that I could have someone who wants to work on art IRL is something that is also on my mind again. My geographical location has been a longstanding problem. People in this area don't tend to share my interests .  I would like to move to a better area, however that would require a lot of money. I dislike working alone and would prefer to interact with other people when I am working on art.  Forums and chat rooms do not fill the same social needs for me as a interacting face to face.


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## Folhester (May 18, 2018)

None of my friends is a furry.

My closest ones from junior have seen my debut though 
I was drawing all these sparkly hairy woofers in the margins of my notebooks and claimed they were wolves (while their anatomy screamed otherwise) when they said 'that's a funny looking dog' haha
They never really questioned it, I still wonder why.

Then I met some furries on RP forums, and during japanese culture conventions, but I never really got close to them.
There's one girl online though that enjoyed drawing feral but didn't define herself as a furry. She became an IRL friend since we lived in the same area, but we don't talk about furry stuff at all.

Nowadays there are only two persons who know I'm drawing furry: this girl, whom I just told without any details... and my SO, who saw all my NSFW stuff  They're not a furry at all but have wandered on all the worst threads of 4chan, so they were not really shocked by the nipple fest. Were a bit weirded out at the beginning, but they quickly got used to it.

In the end, I don't really talk about furry stuff IRL, but I can casually mention it to my SO, and there are some good gals on the forums, so it's enough for me ^^


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## ChapterAquila92 (May 19, 2018)

There's really only two furries I'm in regular contact with IRL; a couple of step-brothers living together on the other side of the San Juan strait, both of whom having a variety of gaming interests that I sometimes pique from time to time. Beyond that, the local furry social scene outside of conventions is, for all intents and purposes, dead.

As others have pointed out, seeking out other furries to befriend solely on the basis of them being fellow furries is a misguided endeavour that won't likely end well. I'd certainly like to get to know the local furs better than I currently do, but, from what I've already heard, seen and experienced, I've probably done myself a huge service by instead getting myself involved with other, more active groups in the local area that focus more on doing something (i.e. wargaming, kayaking, etc), rather than on the sole merit of being something (i.e. being a furry).


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## Friskyaa123 (May 19, 2018)

ChapterAquila92 said:


> As others have pointed out, seeking out other furries to befriend solely on the basis of them being fellow furries is a misguided endeavour that won't likely end well



also too, I like plenty of furries online but I dunno if any are actually local furries (one is but we don't really talk regularly enough anyway). Shouldn't feel pressured to try and form friendships with local furries over a long-distance friendship where there's more common interest

and I've said it before, you can like furry stuff but there can be common ground as far as being an LGBT or at least LGBT-friendly group as well


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## ChapterAquila92 (May 19, 2018)

Frisky1753 said:


> also too, I like plenty of furries online but I dunno if any are actually local furries (one is but we don't really talk regularly enough anyway). Shouldn't feel pressured to try and form friendships with local furries over a long-distance friendship where there's more common interest.


That depends on how much physical human interaction you are looking for. It's great and all that we can form online relationships with people on the other side of the planet, but for the purposes of actually getting to know them, we can't be certain that the other guy is being genuine from behind that digital mask or if they're just playing a character removed from their actual personality by some degree. I for one would rather know the person behind the mask, and the best way I can think of doing so is in person.


> and I've said it before, you can like furry stuff but there can be common ground as far as being an LGBT or at least LGBT-friendly group as well


It's great and all that one could find some sort of intersectionality there, but you have to be aware of where your values lie when it comes to seeking out new people to meet. A lot can arise from sharing a few common interests with someone else, but rarely will that relationship be entirely to your liking, especially if the other person turns out to be a bag of shit (physically, socially, or both).


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## Friskyaa123 (May 20, 2018)

ChapterAquila92 said:


> It's great and all that one could find some sort of intersectionality there, but you have to be aware of where your values lie when it comes to seeking out new people to meet. A lot can arise from sharing a few common interests with someone else, but rarely will that relationship be entirely to your liking, especially if the other person turns out to be a bag of shit (physically, socially, or both).



sure. The idea that online communities in general can form around common interests kind of weirds me out at times. In real life I go to a Starbucks, the only common factor that's for sure is people probably needed some caffeine, lol. (maybe they also have a certain amount of income tho, that part sucks, feeling like it's a cross-section of the population along those lines) No but like I have some reservations about that Meetup site too. Kind of encourages a strong 'theme' to the meetup maybe and loose themes are discouraged? Like there was a Reiki group and I'm instantly turned off that the theme has to be Reiki, but is this any different than wanting to go to a Meetup where the main theme is "is a Furry". I dunno haha

re: real life situations, would rather meet an ordinary person/normie who tolerates I'm a furry than a rl furry I don't particularly relate to


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## pippi (May 20, 2018)

Not really, we have a pretty big fur group where I live.


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## Luxibutt (May 22, 2018)

Yep, I feel lonely in the fandom. I used to have friends in the fandom, but I decided to distance myself a bit because it was constant, extremely dumb drama. But at the expense of doing that, I don't have that many friends within the fandom anymore, lol


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## Luxibutt (May 23, 2018)

Connor J. Coyote said:


> It's hard - but making new friends can sometimes be the best option.. as sometimes it's better just to cut your losses (and move on) then have people around who are constantly giving you grief.


Yeah, that's very true, lol. I have two friends now and one of them is in the fandom, but she's not as in fandom as much as she used to, which sucks.


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## Kiuby May (May 24, 2018)

Sometimes I could see that being new in this fandom, is the same of "make friends here will be harder for you". I try to find friends in my city or state, but I can't find someone. So, I navigate for this sites, even if I don't use to speak the same language.


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## Connor J. Coyote (May 25, 2018)

Kiuby May said:


> Sometimes I could see that being new in this fandom, is the same of "make friends here will be harder for you". I try to find friends in my city or state, but I can't find someone. So, I navigate for this sites, even if I don't use to speak the same language.


Yes.. websites can be a vital link for many.. and sometimes, the only link.. which is why it's good they exist.


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## Amber_Sakura_Wolf (May 26, 2018)

Frisky1753 said:


> isn't this some people's fetish though (joking)


Idk. Seems that’s theres one for anything. It’s weird to me, but if it’s safe and away from children then I got no problem with it.


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## Skychickens (May 28, 2018)

I’m mostly here to have fun and I’m managing. The only way I feel alone is pretty much when I can’t look at designs of others much to get inspiration for mine since I just had to base my things off of pets.


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## Gem-Wolf (May 28, 2018)

Trust me, you don’t want to make furry friends online. They are toxic.


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## Asassinator (May 28, 2018)

I’ve made lots of friends here. They aren’t really toxic.


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## ChapterAquila92 (May 28, 2018)

Gem-Wolf said:


> Trust me, you don’t want to make furry friends online. They are toxic.





Asassinator said:


> I’ve made lots of friends here. They aren’t really toxic.


Depending on what crowd within the Fandom you throw yourself into, it can be quite the wildcard. Not one to leave it up to chance and as someone with standards, I've largely kept my distance under the pretense that, if someone takes an interest in my work and is willing to take their time putting thought into their commentary beyond simple variations of "I like this" or "Thanks for fave", I am more likely to be receptive of what they have to say, and especially if I find their work to be interesting in kind, as it encourages me to reciprocate that courtesy and build up a rapport with them. This was pretty much how I met and later (properly) befriended Tanner, Tef, and KitsuneShukko nearly a decade ago through DeviantArt.


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## Gem-Wolf (May 28, 2018)

Asassinator said:


> I’ve made lots of friends here. They aren’t really toxic.


you be lucky then. i’ve found it to be quite toxic, especially on facebook


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## Amber_Sakura_Wolf (May 29, 2018)

Gem-Wolf said:


> Trust me, you don’t want to make furry friends online. They are toxic.


I had a friend who was a furry for the design until he saw the nsfw side and now he doesn’t like them, but we’re still good friends. Another person used to be a furry and got me into the fandom once I realized at first I liked the design and making my own characters. Then that person became very toxic to where he took advantage of me, my so at the time, my best friend, and our family and friends. I took away all his fanfics and any of his art as punishment which then became a retired character and became inspiration for one of my characters. After that I almost left the fandom completely, but I found my friend I talked about before where he’s not a furry anymore, but I found a side where I can be able to be myself using one character of another (I have 6 of them for now.)  I don’t technically have furry friends, but I have some that are semi-furries in that they like love the family friendly and letting me make characters and backstories on them based on any aspect given to me. This fandom has helped me a lot, and yes I only have semi-furries, but so far that’s ok with me.


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## Laugh Kita (May 29, 2018)

I don't feel lonely in the fandom. My partners are both furries and I'm occasionally active in the online community. Get most of my interaction at conventions a couple times a year. It's pretty easy to talk to people when in such a large group.


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## Kattai (Jun 17, 2018)

Well, I live in teeny-tiny nordic country called Estonia and the amount of furries here is really small... (0, 7%, hehe) Yet I haven't found someone to talk with.

I also don't speak english very well - not so much as I need for expressing myself profoundly and clearly, without being shallow. Improvement takes time :3

So yeah, I feel quite lonely as a furry, whose interest in anthropomorphic animals isn't not only sexual but emotional and spiritual, too.


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## Deleted member 112695 (Jun 17, 2018)

I always have a sense of feeling lonely though I know I have people who care about me. That is the real bummer about having a depressive disorder. Even in a hypothetical situation where I’d be surrounded by all my friends, I would still feel lonely. What’s even worse is the fact that because I have this mindset from my condition that I’ll always be lonely, I have separated myself a lot from social events. So much of my loneliness is from my own doing (or not doing)!

So I have to answer this question as a logical question. No, technically I’m not lonely. I message friends every day. I could easily just get up and go to the cigar lounge and not be alone. And I believe I’m always in communion with the Triune God.
But answering it emotionally, that’s another question.

That is what attracted me most about the fandom. It’s filled with people with similar struggles and those who are open and willing to listen.


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## Dizziead (Jun 18, 2018)

"Lonely" isn't the word, but I do often feel isolated. Not so much because of the community itself, because it's my own fault for not knowing how to approach/initiate conversations with people, but I do feel like I have a lot of questions and curiosities about potential individuals in the community that aren't being satisfied, because I still don't feel like I have any friends who are also in the fandom (excluding distant friends online that never talk about being furry). I would love to go to a furmeet, but I have too many questions about how those work, and I haven't been able to find one in my area. I did go to my first furry convention last year (I've been going to anime conventions for years, though), and it's a little harder, because it seems like fur cons are more expensive and you have to travel a lot further (sort of pun) to go to one, which isn't easy for me since I don't have my own vehicle. I got along great with the people I roomed with there, but I felt kind of invisible/forgettable because my now-ex was the one who was responsible at the time for communicating with them, and he had a tendency to make me feel intimidated/insecure in and out groups (which is one of the reasons why we're no longer together). I wish I had close friends who were furries, but there again lies my problem... I'm socially awkward, and I don't know how to make friends. All the close friends I have in my life today had to approach me.


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## ChapterAquila92 (Jun 18, 2018)

Dizziead said:


> "Lonely" isn't the word, but I do often feel isolated. Not so much because of the community itself, because it's my own fault for not knowing how to approach/initiate conversations with people, but I do feel like I have a lot of questions and curiosities about potential individuals in the community that aren't being satisfied, because I still don't feel like I have any friends who are also in the fandom (excluding distant friends online that never talk about being furry). I would love to go to a furmeet, but I have too many questions about how those work, and I haven't been able to find one in my area. I did go to my first furry convention last year (I've been going to anime conventions for years, though), and it's a little harder, because it seems like fur cons are more expensive and you have to travel a lot further (sort of pun) to go to one, which isn't easy for me since I don't have my own vehicle. I got along great with the people I roomed with there, but I felt kind of invisible/forgettable because my now-ex was the one who was responsible at the time for communicating with them, and he had a tendency to make me feel intimidated/insecure in and out groups (which is one of the reasons why we're no longer together). I wish I had close friends who were furries, but there again lies my problem... I'm socially awkward, and I don't know how to make friends. All the close friends I have in my life today had to approach me.


As someone who doesn't get out as much as they probably should, I've found that it's usually best to cordially meet others one-on-one over a coffee or tea to help break the ice, furry or otherwise. Groups tend to cloister and not want much to do with outsiders, as much as they try to portray themselves as being open, but individual members of those same groups tend to be more genuine and approachable when isolated from the main body.


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## Leo Whitepaw (Jun 18, 2018)

Is it bad that if I could pick one word to describe myself, it would be 'Lonely'?


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## Dizziead (Jun 19, 2018)

ChapterAquila92 said:


> As someone who doesn't get out as much as they probably should, I've found that it's usually best to cordially meet others one-on-one over a coffee or tea to help break the ice, furry or otherwise. Groups tend to cloister and not want much to do with outsiders, as much as they try to portray themselves as being open, but individual members of those same groups tend to be more genuine and approachable when isolated from the main body.



I can see the merit in that, and in plenty of circumstances I can probably agree -- though, possibly ironically, I actually find it harder to communicate one-on-one (at first), because I feel like there's more pressure on me to be interesting/entertaining; whereas in a group, the attention isn't entirely on me, so it seems easier to interject in conversations when I think of something relevant to say. That said, though, you're still basically right. The kinds of conversations people tend to have in groups are usually less meaningful than the kinds of conversations you can have with someone who's focus is on you, and it's arguably easier to get to know people as individuals when you have the opportunity to aid in directing the conversation into something more intimate. I'm just not sure how to get past my own barriers in those kinds of scenarios.


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## Mike Nobody (Jun 26, 2018)

I don't feel lonely, per se. I like being alone, with no people to deal with.
But, I do struggle with depression and anxiety all of the time. So, I don't get out or socialize very much.
Playing in bands, in the past, has been my only real social life. I haven't been in a stable band for a long time.
The furry community seems to have a lot of other introverts, who also like anthropomorphic animals. I get a little morale boost from it. 
I would like to find some local furmeets. But, no luck, so far. I missed Motor City Furry Con and Anthrocon. So, those will have to wait until next year. 
Midwest Furfest is in a few months. Not sure if I can afford to go. I heard that they are already heavily booked.


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## Nakita (Jun 27, 2018)

I don't have any close friends IRL, just aquaintances. And no one else I know is a furry. It's kind of hard to find other furs in the Pacific Northwest, unless you live near Seattle or Portland. I do sometimes feel lonely coming on here. Unless I get to know people more closely as a friend, of which I'm at a loss, I sometimes feel like like a bystander. It's nice seeing like-minded people interact with each other here, though. It gives me social fuel. In a way.


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## tamara590 (Sep 29, 2019)

yup, youre not the only one, as a fur who lives in the netherlands {where furrys are pretty uncommon}  no money or ways of transportation, its very hard to make friends. and being shy and scared on top of that doesnt help XD


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## LameFox (Sep 29, 2019)

I feel alone in every community; the online ones are like airports full of strangers passing through on their way somewhere else, and the offline ones are made entirely of people I have nothing in common with. Every now and then you get a bit of one in the other. Not sure if I actually feel lonely, though. Sometimes I suspect I only ever like the _idea_ of people in the first place.

Are we thread archaeologists now?


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## MaelstromEyre (Sep 30, 2019)

I have no furry friends in RL, don't go to cons or meetups.  
Most of my furry interaction is on the Second Life grid or in Discord chats, though I prefer Second Life because it's more interactive with 3D avatars, etc.
Never really felt I was missing anything by not going to RL gatherings, I'm an introvert anyway.


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## XanderBoi (Oct 1, 2019)

I get that. It took me a while to start talking to other furs online and even though I've made a couple of friends, I have noone I'm my area that I know. 

Do some research and see if there is a group in your state. Usually they post meets a couple of months in advance so you can prepare for them. I'm going to one in December that's only an hour and a half away from me. ^_^


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## RoboticFreeze (Oct 3, 2019)

I'm lonely, because i'm more listener than talker and i'm hiding that i'm furry, because I don't know who is and a lot of people aren't friendly with furries.


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## ConorHyena (Oct 3, 2019)

I'm lonely because usually, I'm the one calling the shots and taking responsibility for things.

that, by default, makes you alone.


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## Zilant raijin (Oct 3, 2019)

I have been in the fandom for a short bit, yet i am content with having at least a few friends. I have been lonly as long as i have been alive but i do not let it get to me. So it is nice to have friends but choose good friends who except you for who you are. I am blessed to at least have 4 friends here and thats enough to make me feel happy.


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## SLB-Portu23 (Oct 5, 2019)

Not just in the fandom but in life too. I have 0 people outside my family who I genuinely believe that care for me or want me around. Perhaps just to fall prey to some cynical, opportunistic and purely personal interest driven leeches out of my shere desire to break this psychological desolation cycle, might simply be better to accept things as they are. 

This isn't specifically related to the fandom itself but to the whole spectrum of social relationships in general on all kinds of environments and circumstances. 

Yes, I hate feeling lonely but I hate even more investing time, dedication and effort towards bonding with people and time after time being rewarded with a total mind grinding feeling of rejection. Obviously my depression and anxiety can and will twist my perception of reality at times but not to a point in which I can't make a real distinction between an actual friend and a simple acquaintance and for me, 100 acquaintances aren't worth 1 good friend and honestly, I would be more than happy with just that.


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## Jackpot Raccuki (Oct 5, 2019)

Yeah, but I usually blame myself for often purposely making myself unapproachable at times.
Like how I had a time where you wouldn't really know me at all unless someone introduced you to me, which in on itself was stupidly rare to happen anyway.

Then again, I've been toying with a lot of stuff so I'm not surprised I'm lonely, do I regret it? Of course I do. But I can't help it.


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## SLB-Portu23 (Oct 5, 2019)

The way I see it in regards to the fandom well, I don't have a sona, I'm not particularly good at art, digital or traditional, not a good writter either, I have nothing remotely interesting happening in my life atm, being it hobbies or day to day experiences. I'm not interested in many of the topics I see being touched with some regularity and consistency within the community so all in all, I really can't see how I could make any real friends here as things stand.

One has to have something others like and crave in order for them to stick around, its just the way the cookie crumbles when it comes to social relationships and I doubt my humble, friendly and honest nature alone will have such effect on people. There's plenty of those folks in the world already.


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## Zahur (Oct 5, 2019)

I've been around 10 years a furry (I don't consider myself as such anymore) and yes, this community is a shithole with shitty people mememaster wanna be or socially awkward.


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## MrPhox (Oct 5, 2019)

I'm alone IRL and in the fandom. I try many time to make friends but it just never work.
If I knew what to do, how to behave? I just don't know  I don't talk to one fur, I more talk to many in Telegram. I have Twitter but still I don't have friend there. I don't know how to make friend at all.

irl I don't know anyone, so its just boring. I talk a bit with a fur on FB, but that's all, plus there 7 hours apart so it does get in the way and I'm like 33 years older.


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## Minerva_Minx (Oct 5, 2019)

MrPhox said:


> I'm alone IRL and in the fandom. I try many time to make friends but it just never work.
> If I knew what to do, how to behave? I just don't know  I don't talk to one fur, I more talk to many in Telegram. I have Twitter but still I don't have friend there. I don't know how to make friend at all.
> 
> irl I don't know anyone, so its just boring. I talk a bit with a fur on FB, but that's all, plus there 7 hours apart so it does get in the way and I'm like 33 years older.


I'm 42 and let me tell you my experience
Holy s***, your an old woman! (Not really anyone says it, I just wanted to type it. I think it's funny)  but seriously, wow, not many older furs.
Twitter, likewise.  but not really branching out too much.
I'm an introvert.  Wifey does the whole bunch of friends.  actually knew more girlfriends overseas.  and furs.  US is so much worse in parts when you leave and come back.
FB, I am the worst.
So, yeah, lonely, but partly my fault.  Living in New Mexico doesn't help.


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## SLB-Portu23 (Oct 7, 2019)

I live in Portugal, there's like an handful of furries here at most and none seem to reside in my particular region. The community is close to meaningless in this country and since I'm not someone who does a lot of travelling around and neither do I enjoy it, the chances of meeting another fur in person for the time being are pretty slim.

I don't have any social media accounts and likely never will, its simply not for me. Online chatting has became rather unfulfilling, there's never a tangible feeling that such interactions hold any real meaning, it all appears superficial and seems utterly unrealistic to think that I could hold any friendships exclusively through a virtual platform when everything surrounding my person is so lackluster and I have had some experiences which exposed that reality...the tendency is for people to simply lose interest and pull away unless you can continuously provide them with something they enjoy and this often goes beyond simple character traits. Being open minded, kind and friendly to others will most likely have you be respected and well treated wherever you go to but to make legitimate friendship bonds worthy of that designation, I think it takes more than just raw personality attributes, especially in communities built around fiction, hobbies, roleplaying and individual talents for a given purpose such as this one. I'm not criticising anyone, only expressing a subjective view formulated through my own singular observations and I mean, we all have an inner need to be entertained, to have that very satisfying rush of dopamine flowing within us every now and then, so its only natural that we stick to the things and/or people who are able to provide it the most.

There's also this slightly annoying emphasis on memes, random joking and very basic and trivial chit chatting that really doesn't get you anywhere, mainly on Discord from what I've seen. On several instances I've tried to kickstart proper conversations but got met with a total lack of interest which eventually becomes frustrating and leaves me wondering, what's the point of people using these chatting apps if they go there just to say "good (whatever time of the day it is at the moment)", "how are you?" and post a couple links and memes or pop out context deprived jokes, etc, etc...none of this being material through which you can actually bond with someone. I get the social awkwardness part, I really do but honestly, it doesn't looks as if these individuals are actually trying or caring to.


What I do truly regret is not having done a more competent job at keeping alive a few of my childhood friendships up to this day. Those people might not have been furries but I'm sure we could still get along quite well if I hadn't been so naive and careless over the years and let everyone move away. For a long time, I wanted to be lonely and did everything in my power for it happen, yet one day that desire completely vanished out of the blue and I suddently found myself not knowing how to feel any other way but alone, only that this time, it actually hurted and it still does.


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## Baalf (Oct 8, 2019)

As a person who likes playing video games, I'm always looking for new anthro starring games, but no one ever wants to talk about them. I made a topic about one I found a week ago, and it went completely ignored. It went completely ignored anywhere else I posted a topic for that game too. I'm tempted to just create a topic for anthro starring games in general, but in my experience, this has never ended well.

I'm sorry, but I'm a very picky person. Too many video games seem to promote this zoosadistic agenda that portrays all life as if it exists only to kill or be killed by humans, while also painting Hunters as these pure and Noble human beings, and as someone who has met way too many Hunters who happen to be very corrupt people who don't care about the environment at all, this stereotype infuriates me. Anthro starring games are some of the few games I can play and take my mind off things. There's some of the fuel games I can have fun and enjoy. Now it is I would rather have an okay game that star is an anthropomorphic animal than a supposedly amazing game that stars a hunter and has a "humans=good/everything else=bad" complex. I know I complain about this a lot, and people get annoyed when I do, but that's because that depresses me so badly.

Games rarely have characters I can connect with. Sometimes I wish there were people who felt the same way I do, but more often than not, it's people telling me what a horrible person I am for feeling this way. Anyway, that makes me feel alone when even furries don't want to make me feel better.


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## SLB-Portu23 (Oct 8, 2019)

BennyJackdaw said:


> As a person who likes playing video games, I'm always looking for new anthro starring games, but no one ever wants to talk about them. I made a topic about one I found a week ago, and it went completely ignored. It went completely ignored anywhere else I posted a topic for that game too. I'm tempted to just create a topic for anthro starring games in general, but in my experience, this has never ended well.
> 
> I'm sorry, but I'm a very picky person. Too many video games seem to promote this zoosadistic agenda that portrays all life as if it exists only to kill or be killed by humans, while also painting Hunters as these pure and Noble human beings, and as someone who has met way too many Hunters who happen to be very corrupt people who don't care about the environment at all, this stereotype infuriates me. Anthro starring games are some of the few games I can play and take my mind off things. There's some of the fuel games I can have fun and enjoy. Now it is I would rather have an okay game that star is an anthropomorphic animal than a supposedly amazing game that stars a hunter and has a "humans=good/everything else=bad" complex. I know I complain about this a lot, and people get annoyed when I do, but that's because that depresses me so badly.
> 
> Games rarely have characters I can connect with. Sometimes I wish there were people who felt the same way I do, but more often than not, it's people telling me what a horrible person I am for feeling this way. Anyway, that makes me feel alone when even furries don't want to make me feel better.


I think you should go ahead and create that thread. As far as I know, there aren't many recent anthro focused games but this seems like a pretty interesting topic with a lot to talk about and personally, I would like to find a new and exciting video game to play as its been a while since gaming brought out any real satisfaction within me and naturally, as a furry, anthro related games will usually have a room for my curiosity, even if I don't end up playing them.


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## driftingdragon (Oct 9, 2019)

Does anyone believe that this collective loneliness have something to do with social medias? Or the ability to get most things such as goods, services, and even social interactions outsourced through the internet? 

The world is always going to be changing and I wonder if these changes are just impacting us as a whole? 

These are the things that I think about because I too experience this. 
Got quite a bit of time to just draw/stream and think about deep shit.


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## SLB-Portu23 (Oct 9, 2019)

I think it definitely has. Once someone becomes comfortable with the idea of supporting most of their social and material needs through the internet which requires very little physical activity, effort and exposure to the outside world well, little by little, the willingness to actually go out and experience reality starts vanishing. 

Perhaps I'm saying something completely absurd here but I think its part of human nature, wanting to achieve more while doing less, that's why we have all those tutorial and shortcut videos explaining how to get somewhere or obtaining something more easily and quickly. The focus is set on the end product, not the process required to achieve it so the more this process can be leaned out and made smoother, the better. 

Loneliness either brings or is caused by depression and depression is known for taking away our willingness and motivation to invest time and effort on a certain objective, task or goal so with this in mind, its only natural that when we have social needs needing to be fulfilled and the internet provides a fast and simple route towards its accomplishment that almost takes willpower out the equation from how effortlessly it can be done, why complicate things? Why bother walking or driving 2km to meet with a friend on a coffee shop for an hour of bantering in a hot, cold or rainy day when I can have that same chat through a virtual platform while laying comfortably on my bed? Yes, physical face to face contact can't be replaced but when all we want is having someone to chat with, there's no need to be looking them in the eye in order for it to happen.


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## SLB-Portu23 (Oct 9, 2019)

A social life supported exclusively through the internet isn't truly going to make loneliness go away though yet we keep insisting and trying to contradict that logic somehow but ultimately fail because without the physical element, part of our humanity gets lost.


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## Munch D. Terelli (Oct 9, 2019)

SLB-Portu23 said:


> I think it definitely has. Once someone becomes comfortable with the idea of supporting most of their social and material needs through the internet which requires very little physical activity, effort and exposure to the outside world well, little by little, the willingness to actually go out and experience reality starts vanishing.



_>I'm in this picture and I don't like it._
(heheh)
For me so far the furry fandom's been my ticket _out _of loneliness - I won't repost my weird story in this thread but it's here. I can agree from bitter experience that the internet makes it possible to exist without any face to face social contact, but existing isn't living and a big number attached to a Friends List doesn't directly correlate to personal physical wellbeing. 

I'm lucky because I live in a country with a sizeable furry population _and _I'm in the capital city within easy reach of meetups. Even so I'm walking a long hard walk out of extreme social isolation right now, and it's gonna take time to get where I need to go.


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## SLB-Portu23 (Oct 9, 2019)

Wish this country could borrow some furry members from other nations, it really is lackluster in terms of overall community expression.


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## SLB-Portu23 (Oct 10, 2019)

Connor J. Coyote said:


> If you find that there's enough local interest, then - you (and a friend or two, perhaps) could always try to network outwards, and try to build it up yourselves - within your local community... as that's how a lot of local communities often started, in the first place.


There's absolutely no local interest whatsoever, that's the problem. The only other portuguese furry I've had one on one chats with resides on the capital, over 100km from here.


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## SLB-Portu23 (Oct 10, 2019)

Connor J. Coyote said:


> @SLB-Portu23 Wow; that's unusual to hear..... hmm.... well, I don't really know then.
> 
> Did you think about advertising Fandom activities perhaps, maybe in local cultural gatherings, or community events - and, then seeing what happens? Or maybe try the internet, (Facebook or whatever) and then branching out from there?
> 
> ...


I don't use social media but even if I did, don't think any advertisement made towards this topic on a local setting would have a positive outcome. Honestly, this town and its surrounding geographical areas are pretty damn barren in terms of public social entertainment gatherings and events aside maybe from musical and theatrical ones which don't really suit my interest.

Guess I'll have to content myself with what you mentioned on that last paragraph for the time being, I like it here anyway so there's something to connect me into this fandom afterall even if its not the ideal scenario. I'm certainly not the only furry who feels isolated inside the community, this forum proves it.


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## SLB-Portu23 (Oct 11, 2019)

Connor J. Coyote said:


> Yeah.... this Forum can be a real good place to start, perhaps... and then - if you're willing to "branch out" some more, (assuming you have the time and ability) to be online more - then.... you'll find out that there's *tons* of other Furry-based websites and communities (out there), in addition to here.... there's (things like): mutual interest groups - around (art, stories, fursuits, etc.).... there's online activity groups, and story telling groups as well, and even some "chat based" communities - if that's an interest.


I do have the time but don't think I can actively engage in more than one place at once, I'll just get way too overwhelmed and this is quite draining for the mind and body. The slow pace and overall organization and tidiness present on this forum really suits my nature since I'm unable to deal with rapid flowing conversations and vast imputs of information in one given space. Another reason why one on one interactions are by far, my personal favourite form of social contact, I cannot thrive within a group context, there is just too much to process at once.


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## Jestwinged (Oct 15, 2019)

To some degree yes but thats because I am new to the fandom and with that completely unknown, but then again I haven't made much effort I guess


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## MetalWolfBruh (Oct 19, 2019)

In terms of the whole fandom, yes, because my personality and political views clashes with the majority but finding a small group who thinks similar to me makes me feel a little better.


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## LameFox (Oct 19, 2019)

driftingdragon said:


> Does anyone believe that this collective loneliness have something to do with social medias? Or the ability to get most things such as goods, services, and even social interactions outsourced through the internet?


To some extent. I think the social landscape of the internet has become kind of impersonal now. Social media sites seem to have this very high volume, low quality approach to interaction and they've kind of drowned out other platforms.

But getting things through the internet hasn't made any difference to me, I never really had any meaningful interaction with people via goods and  services in the first place. And as for social interaction, prior to myspace and facebook I think it was actually pretty helpful in that sense because I wasn't limited to local people who, frankly, never interested me in the slightest.


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## Bluefiremark II (Oct 20, 2019)

Kinda yeah. I don't know anybody irl, and all my good friends aren't furry. Soo i do feel alone, although not terribly alone, since there are a few online people I've met and talk with occasionally.


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## Troj (Oct 20, 2019)

Often, in the fandom, I feel seen, included, validated, and respected, and that's great.

But, occasionally, I do feel lonely, yes--both within the fandom, and without it---and it's often when I feel like I'm not truly understood or valued, or when I feel like I'm doing more for other people than they'd be willing to do for me.


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## Fallowfox (Oct 20, 2019)

Troj said:


> Often, in the fandom, I feel seen, included, validated, and respected, and that's great.
> 
> But, occasionally, I do feel lonely, yes--both within the fandom, and without it---and it's often when I feel like I'm not truly understood or valued, or when I feel like I'm doing more for other people than they'd be willing to do for me.



I get the '1 of 8 billion' feeling a lot in daily life.


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## Heppi (Oct 20, 2019)

Everyone can be replaced, especially when it comes to work, the world still has to move forward, it has always to work somehow. Everything can't just break down because of 1 person's death or absence, makes sense.
But on the other hand, no one actually can get replaced. Every single person is a special mix of unique traits. Everyone has a slight influence on the world. Even reading just one sentence, from one person here in the forums, will influence other people a bit. My answer will not help with the feel of loneliness though. I think everyone has to find things, that makes one happy and fulfilled, on his own. Whatever it may be.


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