# Russian Robot



## Aryeonos (May 22, 2008)

Originaly posted in critiques, got no attention, people seem pretty literate here.

Book is Sci-Fi, if you liked I, Robot by Isaac Asimov then you should not only understand this story O mine you should like it.

This story doesn't involve furries, its just a Sci-Fi novel, any feedback would be great, I'm already trying to revise the first chapter a little but any suggestions would be great.

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/1312942


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## M. LeRenard (May 23, 2008)

First off, I like to advertise this thread as much as possible.  Next time post there.

I only glanced at this one (read around 10 pages), but I can see you make most of the relatively common errors.
#1: Don't rely on spell check.  Go back through the work yourself and fix everything it misses (which, in this case, was a lot).
#2: Go back and review your basic grammar: punctuation, sentence structure, etc.  Especially how to use the comma.  Just a few simple rules memorized, and your work will look a whole lot cleaner.

Specifics... I think you've got a good style in the works, what with the sarcasm and rather methodical progression of events (which fits, since the MC is a robot), but it'll take a bit more refining to make it work right.  The quip about Leonard Nimoy, for example, seemed to just come out of nowhere.  I'd give examples of how you could fix things, but the main progression is just going to come from practice and natural evolution of your writing style.  Maybe what I would suggest is to keep going for a bit (a month or two) without looking back, then come back to this first part and look it over again.  If you're anything like me, you'll find a million things you don't like about it, and you'll start thinking how you can fix them.  Do this enough times, get outside help for what you don't think you can fix yourself, and you'll end up with some good stuff.
Just keep in mind (in general), everything has to have a purpose in the writing, and it all needs to be one piece.  Then go from there.
And don't get too excited about publishing.  The last thing you want to do is rush a novel, because you'll regret it later.  Put that thought WAY at the back of your mind for now, I would advise.


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## Aryeonos (May 24, 2008)

Dont you edumacate me, with Yo words, you hoser! I'll go be stupid on my own time foo'!

Now leave usssssss before we get pisssssssy and ssssssstuff.

Well, at least you reinforcred my own thoughts, exept the publishing bit, I have my own spooky reasons for stateing that...Plagurizing's a bitch on the internets.


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