# Artist doesn't want to do work for me anymore



## PheagleAdler (Jan 21, 2013)

I'm all broken up about this. I know I did wrong here but I'm not sure if I'll be able to fix it. I'd really like to be able to commission this artist again.:cry:

The whole thing apparently stemmed from something that happened last year. However, on my end the issue appeared to have been resolved. But just yesterday, the artist sent me an email stating that they were struggling with how to respond for at least a few weeks. 

Now, I know what I've done and I know how to prevent that from occurring in the future, but I'm worried that they won't even considering allowing me to commission them anymore. And I don't know what to do to get them to reconsider, aside from the replies I have already sent out.


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## Schwimmwagen (Jan 21, 2013)

...What do you commission from them exactly?


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## PheagleAdler (Jan 21, 2013)

oh, no. that wasn't the problem. The problem was specifically communication related. Basically, I abused all avenues of communication (going so far as to complain to their spouse), and at one point gave a bogus complaint "why'd you skip me" because they weren't exactly going in order on their commission list. 

I'm really sorry for what I've done but I'm not seeing how I can fix the situation and get permission to commission again.


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## Ansitru (Jan 21, 2013)

... I think a lot is left out in the original post and it almost seems as if you're looking for a hugbox by leaving out the important details.
As such, I will not indulge you until you give more information.


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## Toshabi (Jan 21, 2013)

> GAISE I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!! THEY WON'T COMMISSION ME ANYMORE!





> What did you do?





> I DID BAD STUFF!!!!!





> Like?





> BAD....STUFF.....






This thread.


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## Tiamat (Jan 21, 2013)

Why do people keep making art threads in the den? We have a section on the forums specifically for art related discussions. 
Going to ask that an admin move this, somewhat dodgy thread, to a more appropriate location.


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## Mayonnaise (Jan 21, 2013)

PheagleAdler said:


> oh, no. that wasn't the problem. The problem was specifically communication related. Basically, I abused all avenues of communication (going so far as to complain to their spouse), and at one point gave a bogus complaint "why'd you skip me" because they weren't exactly going in order on their commission list.
> 
> I'm really sorry for what I've done but I'm not seeing how I can fix the situation and get permission to commission again.


Uhh yeah... that might be hard to fix.

Maybe you could find someone with a similar style?


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## Ansitru (Jan 21, 2013)

Mayonnaise said:


> Uhh yeah... that might be hard to fix.
> 
> Maybe you could find someone with a similar style?



It really depends on what he/she/it did. But we don't know yet as they don't seem inclined to tell us what they did.
[Edit] And OP, we can see you hovering over this thread, so you may as well come clean instead of waiting for Godot asspats.


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## Mayonnaise (Jan 21, 2013)

Ansitru said:


> It really depends on what he/she/it did. But we don't know yet as they don't seem inclined to tell us what they did.


Oh...
I saw this line 





> Basically, I abused all avenues of communication (going so far as to  complain to their spouse), and at one point gave a bogus complaint


And just assume it was that. My bad.


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## PheagleAdler (Jan 21, 2013)

Tiamat said:


> Why do people keep making art threads in the den? We have a section on the forums specifically for art related discussions.
> Going to ask that an admin move this, somewhat dodgy thread, to a more appropriate location.



Fine. Move it. I don't know where it's supposed to go. And it's not "dodgy" I'm not going to mention the artist's name because I don't want to be "that guy" and I did mention what happened



Ansitru said:


> ... I think a lot is left out in the original post and it almost seems as if you're looking for a hugbox by leaving out the important details.
> As such, I will not indulge you until you give more information.



What more do you want me to say? I was impatient and I abused every avenue of communication the artist had available, including their spouse. I don't know how I could make it any clearer. I thought everything was going fine last year, in fact, I thought the issue was resolved, but after contacting the artist to get back on their list, this is what I get. Yes, I did inquire to why other people were being added to the list and the artist claimed they were holdouts from before Christmas. So I agreed to wait. But yesterday this happened.


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## Ansitru (Jan 21, 2013)

Mayonnaise said:


> Oh...
> I saw this line
> And just assume it was that. My bad.



Abused how? Was it still a reasonable means of communication and is the artist overreacting or did they send a message every minute?
Did they perhaps send inappropriate messages? We don't know. 

And as such, it's pretty hard to give advice on how to fix the behaviour they haven't described, which leads me to believe they simply want a hugbox.



PheagleAdler said:


> What more do you want me to say? I was  impatient and I abused every avenue of communication the artist had  available, including their spouse. I don't know how I could make it any  clearer. I thought everything was going fine last year, in fact, I  thought the issue was resolved, but after contacting the artist to get  back on their list, this is what I get. Yes, I did inquire to why other  people were being added to the list and the artist claimed they were  holdouts from before Christmas. So I agreed to wait. But yesterday this  happened.



Feel free to refer to the above answer.


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## Toshabi (Jan 21, 2013)

I hope that you didn't commission that hideous avatar from them. You should get your money back because that thing is really fucking creepy.


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## PheagleAdler (Jan 21, 2013)

Mayonnaise said:


> Uhh yeah... that might be hard to fix.
> 
> Maybe you could find someone with a similar style?



I'd much rather resolve the problem with the artist.


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## Ansitru (Jan 21, 2013)

PheagleAdler said:


> I'd much rather resolve the problem with the artist.



If they want nothing to do with you, the least you could do is honour that wish. Instead of, you know, pushing until they get a restraining order against you.


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## PheagleAdler (Jan 21, 2013)

Toshabi said:


> I hope that you didn't commission that hideous avatar from them. You should get your money back because that thing is really fucking creepy.



Oh, that's mature, especially coming from someone with your avatar. FYI I like my avatar and so do many others, but no, it was not made by the artist mentioned in this thread.


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## Ansitru (Jan 21, 2013)

PheagleAdler said:


> Oh, that's mature, especially coming from someone with your avatar. FYI I like my avatar and so do many others, but no, it was not made by the artist mentioned in this thread.



That avatar is Doctor Facilier. Your argument is invalid.
Also: gotta love the post-dodging. GG.


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## Arshes Nei (Jan 21, 2013)

Sorry but artists have the right to refuse anyone service.


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## Schwimmwagen (Jan 21, 2013)

Hey question-dodger, you might as well start telling us what we're asking for.

Sure, we might laugh, but we will also know what to suggest to possibly help you.


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## PheagleAdler (Jan 21, 2013)

Ansitru said:


> Abused how? Was it still a reasonable means of communication and is the artist overreacting or did they send a message every minute?
> Did they perhaps send inappropriate messages? We don't know.
> 
> And as such, it's pretty hard to give advice on how to fix the behaviour they haven't described, which leads me to believe they simply want a hugbox.



The issue seems to center around impatience. I overreacted and overcommunicated, basically used every way i could find to contact them. No, I didn't send inappropriate messages. In fact, the artist seems to think now that they can't " fulfill all the requirements _ want from an artist.__" and I think this basically refers to how impatient I was. I'm here to say that this is no longer the case but I'm not sure how I can get the artist to listen to me. And I'd rather not move on without getting this resolved. It wouldn't feel right._


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## Arshes Nei (Jan 21, 2013)

Gibby said:


> Hey question-dodger, you might as well start telling us what we're asking for.
> 
> Sure, we might laugh, but we will also know what to suggest to possibly help you.



I don't know what will possibly help. A bunch of strangers getting in the middle of this? It's kind of harassment. 

If the artist doesn't want to deal with the OP anymore, just let it go.


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## PheagleAdler (Jan 21, 2013)

Gibby said:


> Hey question-dodger, you might as well start telling us what we're asking for.
> 
> Sure, we might laugh, but we will also know what to suggest to possibly help you.



I'm not fracking dodging questions


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## Ansitru (Jan 21, 2013)

PheagleAdler said:


> The issue seems to center around impatience. I overreacted and overcommunicated, basically used every way i could find to contact them. No, I didn't send inappropriate messages. In fact, the artist seems to think now that they can't " fulfill all the requirements _ want from an artist.__" and I think this basically refers to how impatient I was. I'm here to say that this is no longer the case but I'm not sure how I can get the artist to listen to me. And I'd rather not move on without getting this resolved. It wouldn't feel right._


_

Your need for closure does not trump the artist's comfort and need for tranquility.
Drop it.

Also: you "think" it refers to your constant communication. Are you sure that's the only reason?_


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## Tiamat (Jan 21, 2013)

Edging towards lock before this gets even sillier...


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## Ansitru (Jan 21, 2013)

Tiamat said:


> Edging towards lock before this gets even sillier...



Probably the best idea. This is basically a thread to ask for how to further push communication on an unwilling artist.
I don't see that ending well.


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## Schwimmwagen (Jan 21, 2013)

PheagleAdler said:


> I'm not fracking dodging questions



You did it again just then, you _arse_.

So all we know is you acted like a total pillock and got the artist's spouse involved. Holy hell, dude.

With the tiny amount of detail you've given us all we can say is that we're not going to hugbox you, and you should just deal with it and move on to another artist to commission from. There's nothing you can do about it, you're better off just leaving it rather than exacerbating the problem by blindly trying to "fix" it.


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## Arshes Nei (Jan 21, 2013)

Maybe he'll threaten not to commission anyone.

But seriously, even if you don't know why you made the artist stop doing commissions. In the end it doesn't matter.

It could be you have bad breath, look funny, have a stupid username etc..

The artist can just refuse service at any reason no matter how petty it seems to you. 
This is freelance work, and will cost them "money" but it doesn't cost them much else.


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## Retro (Jan 21, 2013)

PheagleAdler said:


> I'd much rather resolve the problem with the artist.



Yeah, if the artist doesn't want to talk to you, it's not going to happen. It's done. Game over, man. Like Ansitru said, if you continually pester him, you'll worsen the situation, he'll get pissed off at you and shit will get legal.

I don't think you'd want shit to get legal, so if I were you, I'd go ahead and find another artist to commission. Maybe it'll be better for you to commission an artist who has a different style.


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## PheagleAdler (Jan 21, 2013)

Ansitru said:


> Your need for closure does not trump the artist's comfort and need for tranquility.
> Drop it.



You drop it. I suppose my feelings don't matter anymore? I'm sure it would be in both of our best interests to resolve the issue as opposed to distancing ourselves. I understand the artist has a right to deny a commission but I think this goes beyond reason. I'm not trying to commission something they find uncomfortable, I'm trying to fix the problem I caused. Avoiding the problem does not fix it.


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## Ansitru (Jan 21, 2013)

PheagleAdler said:


> You drop it. I suppose my feelings don't matter anymore? I'm sure it would be in both of our best interests to resolve the issue as opposed to distancing ourselves. I understand the artist has a right to deny a commission but I think this goes beyond reason. I'm not trying to commission something they find uncomfortable, I'm trying to fix the problem I caused. Avoiding the problem does not fix it.



Blunt truth? No, they don't.
They have decided they don't want contact, so man the fuck up and drop the contact.

And newflash, Captain Obtuse: if they don't want contact, then trying to fix it by pushing it until you get your precious closure only benefits YOU. Dropping it would benefit the artist in the short term and both of you in the long term. So I repeat: drop it. Act like an adult.


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## Schwimmwagen (Jan 21, 2013)

PheagleAdler said:


> You drop it. I suppose my feelings don't matter anymore? I'm sure it would be in both of our best interests to resolve the issue as opposed to distancing ourselves. I understand the artist has a right to deny a commission but I think this goes beyond reason. I'm not trying to commission something they find uncomfortable, I'm trying to fix the problem I caused. Avoiding the problem does not fix it.



And what about the artist's? And her spouse? Why should they give a shit about yours after you did/said what you refused to tell us?

They're clearly trying to distance themselves from you then. They mustn't like you very much.

_Don't chase them._ You do not do that.


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## PheagleAdler (Jan 21, 2013)

Arshes Nei said:


> Maybe he'll threaten not to commission anyone.
> 
> But seriously, even if you don't know why you made the artist stop doing commissions. In the end it doesn't matter.
> 
> ...



I already know the reason. And I'm saying the reason is not valid anymore. I'm not trying to "push communication" either just trying to find a resolution to my issue. And geez I'm not exactly asking for sympathy here but we could at least try to be civilized.


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## Arshes Nei (Jan 21, 2013)

PheagleAdler said:


> Avoiding the problem does not fix it.



The artist fixed the problem by no longer having to deal with you.


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## Ansitru (Jan 21, 2013)

PheagleAdler said:


> I already know the reason. And I'm saying the reason is not valid anymore.* I'm not trying to "push communication" either just trying to find a resolution to my issue. *And geez I'm not exactly asking for sympathy here but we could at least try to be civilized.



Dude. Wat.
Do you even read?


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## PheagleAdler (Jan 21, 2013)

Ansitru said:


> pushing it until you get your precious closure



what closure? I'm not asking for that.


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## Teal (Jan 21, 2013)

After somthing like that I would want nothing more to do with you, and if it was bad enough I'd even take it to artists beware.


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## Schwimmwagen (Jan 21, 2013)

PheagleAdler said:


> what closure? I'm not asking for that.



Then what the hell are you asking for O___o


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## Ansitru (Jan 21, 2013)

PheagleAdler said:


> what closure? I'm not asking for that.



Alright, I'm dropping my diagnosis of "obtuse" and going to go for "dropped as child".
You are trying to *FIX* things when the artist does not want them *FIXED*.

That counts as pushing communication just so you can get your *CLOSURE*.

I bolded the difficult words for you, maybe you'll grasp the logic now?


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## PheagleAdler (Jan 21, 2013)

Arshes Nei said:


> The artist avoided the problem by no longer having to deal with you.



fixed.


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## Percy (Jan 21, 2013)

Seriously, just find someone else to work with, and quit complaining.


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## PheagleAdler (Jan 21, 2013)

TealMoon said:


> After somthing like that I would want nothing more to do with you, and if it was bad enough I'd even take it to artists beware.



Even if I apologized and never let it happen again?


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## Ansitru (Jan 21, 2013)

PheagleAdler said:


> fixed.



You really, really don't get it, do you?


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## Teal (Jan 21, 2013)

PheagleAdler said:


> fixed.


 So the artist is avoiding the "problem" because they don't want to deal with harrassment?


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## PheagleAdler (Jan 21, 2013)

Ansitru said:


> Alright, I'm dropping my diagnosis of "obtuse" and going to go for "dropped as child".
> You are trying to *FIX* things when the artist does not want them *FIXED*.
> 
> That counts as pushing communication just so you can get your *CLOSURE*.
> ...



Can't you be a mature individual about this? I just wanted some advice, not bullshit


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## Schwimmwagen (Jan 21, 2013)

PheagleAdler said:


> fixed.



Oh okay, you're the problem.

There, we're done.

Fucking hell, furries. Learn to people.


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## Ansitru (Jan 21, 2013)

PheagleAdler said:


> Can't you be a mature individual about this? I just wanted some advice, not bullshit



I'll act like an adult as soon as you can grasp logic.
Which, going by this thread, shall be never. Deal.


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## PheagleAdler (Jan 21, 2013)

Guess you idiots never heard of second chances. I know I f*cked up. Now all I want is to apologize and resolve to never make the same mistake again.


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## PheagleAdler (Jan 21, 2013)

Ansitru said:


> I'll act like an adult as soon as you can grasp logic.
> Which, going by this thread, shall be never. Deal.



Saying I was dropped on my head is not logic.


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## Teal (Jan 21, 2013)

PheagleAdler said:


> Guess you idiots never heard of second chances. I know I f*cked up. Now all I want is to apologize and resolve to never make the same mistake again.


 Why can't you accept that they want nothing more to do with you?


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## Schwimmwagen (Jan 21, 2013)

PheagleAdler said:


> Guess you idiots never heard of second chances.



You're not entitled to one. Nobody has to give them. This artist clearly does not want to give you one.


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## PheagleAdler (Jan 21, 2013)

Some have been suggesting that I "back off" and let her cool down for a few months. Perhaps that's better advice than anything else in this thread.


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## Ansitru (Jan 21, 2013)

PheagleAdler said:


> Saying I was dropped on my head is not logic.



Going by how you contradict yourself by every post following your previous one, I'd say that was a pretty good deduction.
You don't want to force contact, yet you ask us how.
You don't want to push things, yet you ask for ways to do so.

We tell you not to and then you cry foul and say your intentions are earnest.
Yeah. No. Drop it.


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## Tiamat (Jan 21, 2013)

We are done here.


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## Arshes Nei (Jan 21, 2013)

Part of me wants to find the person he commissioned and thank them. Because he just showed how much of a headache he is to deal with 

If anything I hope the OP realizes the behavior he was displaying can actually be used as an artist's beware.

Instead of letting the problem go, he drudges it up in public being aggressive about it.
That may not only scare the original person away and confirm what they did was right.

It will cause other artists to avoid the OP.


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