# Story Openings



## obsidianobelisk (Aug 30, 2009)

I've noticed one of the hardest parts of a story is the beginning - the hook to catch readers.  I tend to do most of my plot long before I put pencil to paper.  A lot of times I'll have my ending in place pretty early on, while the beginning drags out until the last minute.

So, does anyone here have any advice in this regard? I started on an opening for the story I'm working on, but it's more of a prologue than a chapter one.  Basically I started with the scene before the climax of the story, ending it with a cliffhanger moment and with chapter one I skip back to the beginning of the story.  Is this a wise tactic?  Is it even an acceptable tactic for a writer?


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## foozzzball (Aug 30, 2009)

There's a term I forget for this kind of flash-forward, but basically it's hard to use well.

You might like trying In Media Res, and I did write a bit about this kind of thing here --> http://www.furaffinity.net/view/2032390/


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## obsidianobelisk (Aug 30, 2009)

Thanks for the link.  I read through your essay and found it fascinating.  Of course where you begin in a story will depend a lot on the context of the story itself - what genre it is and the like.  

I also understand that it changes depending on the writer and that no advice should be blindly followed - which is a trap that it's all too easy to fall into.

My other question in regards to an opening is about length.  What's a good length to aim for in terms of a prologue?  What I have now seems too short.


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## blackfuredfox (Aug 30, 2009)

i usually start further ahead, and then explain things leading up to that. like in my story im working on now. thats what i do.


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## GraemeLion (Aug 30, 2009)

I'm a big fan of writing my ending first, then the beginning, and then filling my key scenes in between.  

As for how to get that done , I tend to follow the five page rule.  If I've not listed who the story is about, and introduced the conflict (even if the reader has no idea yet that it will be the conflict), I've not done my job.

The five page rule basically goes like this:  Most agents will read simply five pages.  If they can't aren't 100% into it by the fifth page, your story goes into the trash.

So.. whatever you do in the first chapter, your best bet is to have someone willing to beg for the remainder after it.


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## CoronaRadiata (Aug 31, 2009)

I prefer to start things off with a bang, really. The trick is, you need to enthrall the reader with either an exciting start or an interesting idea or plot, and go from there. 

This usually equates to situations where:
a) a character does something seemingly sporadic and inexplicable, leaving the reader with a jolt and asking "why"

b) Where something starts with a bang, and ends in a cliffhanger leaving the reader wanting more

c) Where action is hinted at along with an enticing idea that interests the reader without resorting to big bang action too soon, following up on the action later and making sure it is as the reader expected or exceedingly so.

There are surely other methods of opening out there, and I've yet to try them all, but this is the basic sense.


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## M. LeRenard (Aug 31, 2009)

Just as long as you start with something relevant and interesting, it should be okay.  For example, Stephen King's _It_ starts off with a boy getting his arm ripped out of his socket by an evil clown in a storm drain.  That's pretty cool, gets your attention, and it sparks the whole rest of the story into action (introduces the baddie, the main character, and gives him a pretty strong motivation all in one scene).
A counter example would be one of the books in the _Wheel of Time_ series (can't remember which one), which begins with a detailed account of some hero in the distant past making a big mountain with magical super powers or something.  This is kind of cool, but there's no mention of it in the rest of the whole book except as a brief quasi-interesting historical note, so that misses the whole 'relevant' issue by a long shot.  That serves to show that it's not all about the bang: the bang kind of has to have a point in order for it to work.  Otherwise you could just start every story by writing
SEX!!!
and you'd be a mega best-seller.
Also, don't do what Tolkien did and start off describing Hobbit culture or some such thing.  Modern readers are lazy and need to be enticed, so history lessons or scientific analyses or what have you are not going to work.
So far as prologues are concerned, that's a rough road to travel.  Personally, I like to dive right into stories, get right to the point without dancing around any, so I never do prologues.  It's possible to do them well, though.  I'm just not really certain how.

(If your eyes immediately went to the middle of this post before you started reading it, you get my point.)


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## Murphy Z (Sep 1, 2009)

Just remember the rest of the story is important too. I've read a fair number of stories in which the author spent a great deal of time in the first paragraph, but by the third, the story has fallen flat on its face, making the fall all the bigger.


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## Aeturnus (Sep 2, 2009)

It's not just the beginning of the story I struggle with, it's also the start of each chapter. Although once I get the first couple of sentences out onto paper and nothing breaks my flow, the rest comes out pretty easy.


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## GraemeLion (Sep 2, 2009)

Aeturnus said:


> It's not just the beginning of the story I struggle with, it's also the start of each chapter. Although once I get the first couple of sentences out onto paper and nothing breaks my flow, the rest comes out pretty easy.



I don't write chapters.  I write scenes  

That might help you with getting things going.


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## Ibuuyk (Sep 2, 2009)

Once upon a time


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## M. LeRenard (Sep 2, 2009)

Ibuuyk said:
			
		

> Once upon a time


Or better yet, "It was a dark and stormy night."


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## Ibuuyk (Sep 2, 2009)

Once upon a time, there were a giant tree, that was the source of mana.  A war, however, caused that tree to wither away and die-- Oh wait, already taken, my bad


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## Aurali (Sep 2, 2009)

M. Le Renard said:


> Otherwise you could just start every story by writing
> SEX!!!
> and you'd be a mega best-seller.


Yes, I'm also one for a Shakespearean Opening. Starting something with violence, sex or conflict is a great way to hook a user. Try to bring out a strong opening, and get your reader addicted before they get too far in.


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## ScottyDM (Sep 10, 2009)

*Three Things You Must Get Right With Your Opening:*


*First, the spelling, punctuation, word use, sentence structure, and paragraph structure of your opening must be impeccable.*

When I start reading a story and I see obvious errors on the first page, I stop. Life is too short to waste my time reading stuff written by people who can't write. Of course if I'm doing a critique for a fellow author I make note of the problems and plow ahead.

When reading for pleasure, if I note an error on page five, no biggie. But you _must_ display a high degree of craft in your opening.


*Second, it's got to be interesting.*

You can't be at your reader's shoulder to say, "Keep going, the good stuff starts on page five." Your first paragraph, even your first sentence, must speak for you.

In his book Stein on Writing, former editor and novelist Sol Stein dedicated a chapter to the opening. On page 25 he wrote: "The value of a well-written opening is that it makes the reader ready to give himself to the writer's imagined people for the duration."

And that's what it's really about. Even if your stories are published on-line for free, the reader's time is valuable. You've got to make him or her _want_ to read your story. You can do this through reputation, after all word of mouth is the most powerful form of advertising on the planet. But in the absence of reputation -- you can't do it with a prologue, authors notes, cool cover art, or back cover copy -- your opening has to do it.

On page 15 of his book Stein talked about arousal as a necessity of life. He wrote:





> Similarly arousal is an author's stimulus for the reader. Without early arousal, the reader does not yet trust that he will enjoy the experience that the writer has prepared. The ideal goals of an opening paragraph are:
> To excite the reader's curiosity, preferably about a character or a relationship.
> To introduce a setting.
> To lend resonance to a story.


As for the setting, keep it interesting. And if it seems ordinary on the surface, but something unusual or sinister lurks beneath, then keep the ordinary very brief and introduce the unusual as early as you can.

On page 25 Stein wrote: "It should be clear by now that the unusual is a factor in arousing the reader's interest. And so is action and conflict. So many writers fight an uphill battle trying to interest their readers in matters that have no inherent conflict. The worst possible way to start a story is with something like 'They were a wonderful couple. He loved her and she loved him. They never argued.'"

In his chapter Stein uses many examples from published authors and from talented amateurs. He points out that you don't always have to be obvious with your unusual, action, and/or conflict. Several of the examples use subtlety, or omens to hint at disaster to come.


*Third, start your story with the real story.*

What's worse then telling the reader to keep going, it gets interesting on page five? It is: "Keep going. You need this backstory. But never fear, the real story starts in the third chapter."

If the story starts in the third chapter then maybe you should delete the first two chapters. Your writing may be technically savvy, and your opening may intrigue and entice, but the reader will figure out that you've tricked them into reading this junk that has little direct bearing on the story. If you need the backstory then work it in as needed. Don't do an info dump on the reader. It's a reputation thing.


*A Fourth Goal, and Possibly Optional?*

Bill Johnson, a writing coach and script doctor, has a concept he calls the "promise of a story". That is, what can the reader expect as the emotional payoff of your story? Or stated another way, the promise is the essence of a story boiled down to one or two words.

Bill likes to see this promise up front. Ideally in the opening.

This isn't always easy to do, especially with an action-oriented story. And it isn't necessary with a short story. It's okay to hold back the essence of a ten-page story from your reader until the final page. If it's intriguing they will read to the end. But it's bad form to keep your readers in the dark for 300 or more pages. If the readers don't get it after a hundred or so pages many of them will give up.

Read the essays on Bill's site to figure out more, and even get his book. I suggest you don't get it from Amazon as his latest edition is the third edition and there's confusion between the ISBN and the description in their database. His price is higher, but includes USPS express shipping.


*In closing:* I wanted to include a few examples from published works, but this is running long. Instead I'll point you to the contest thread here on FA. When it's time to read and judge the stories I like to include the title and the opening of each story. If a story grabs your attention I hope you'll follow the link back to the site and read. If it doesn't, then feel free to ignore that story. In any other venue that's how most readers will behave anyway.

There are a couple of good openings, and a couple that suck, but feel free to form your own opinions.

Scotty


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## nybx4life (Sep 10, 2009)

obsidianobelisk said:


> So, does anyone here have any advice in this regard? I started on an opening for the story I'm working on, but it's more of a prologue than a chapter one.  Basically I started with the scene before the climax of the story, ending it with a cliffhanger moment and with chapter one I skip back to the beginning of the story.  Is this a wise tactic?  Is it even an acceptable tactic for a writer?



Actually, I have read a book before where the book opens with the scene of where the book actually ends, and then rewinds all the way back to the beginning for the second chapter and on.
If that can be done and it reads well, then yes.

To be honest, almost any style and variation of writing a story can be done, if written well.
To say it is wise destroys the fact that this is "creative writing". This is not chess.

For how I might start a story, it usually would be on a character's action or bit of speech before anything.

And I guess just to add, if you can't make at least the first few paragraphs interesting, you got a problem.


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## TakeWalker (Sep 10, 2009)

ScottyDM said:


> *Three Things You Must Get Right With Your Opening:*



You know, I just read the openings of the contest stories, and pretty much none of them got these right. Openings, people, do you has them?


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## Poetigress (Sep 10, 2009)

Not to mention that four of those six openings have typos or basic errors in them. [/curmudgeon]


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## ScottyDM (Sep 10, 2009)

*A couple of years ago on Critique Circle someone started the thread: "Critique My First Line".* I thought it was pretty cool. It also seemed like a good way to further promote the contest and the individual stories, so I posted the opening lines of each story with a link back to that story. Don't know how many CCers turned in ballots, but I did collect the comments they left in the forum and included them as a special section in the comments for my ballot.

I've been promoting the judging phase of the contest and the individual stories this way ever since. I feel it's fair and realistic because in the real world the opening is exactly how many readers make the read it or drop it decision.


*In 2005 Nathan Ryan created the anthrofiction contest and I entered the summer and fall quarters.* My fall entry won. This is the opening:





> *Family Matters*
> 
> Odette finished assembling the green bean casserole and popped it into the small oven, while the turkey continued to cook in the main oven. She was happy to see her daughter, but wished the girl would come home more often than the holidays. Penny had driven up from Ventura and brought a friend to share Thanksgiving with the family. Meeting the friend, who wasn't human, had been a shockâ€¦.
> 
> There was a loud thump and the house shook, rattling the plates. Odette braced herself, but it was over too quick to be an earthquake. ...


Technical note: While the use of an ellipsis to show interruption is fine at the end of the first paragraph, Browne and King suggest an em-dash. I now follow Browne and King's suggestion.

The wording is a touch awkward. Plus the title is dull and somewhat meaningless. I've since rewritten that story. This is edited version of that opening:





> *An Appleâ€¦ for Your Happiness*
> 
> Katrin topped off the green bean casserole with fried onions and popped it in the small oven. She was happy to see her daughter, but wished the girl would come home more often than the holidays. Penny had driven up from Ventura with her new friend to share Thanksgiving with the family. Meeting him had been a shock. He wasnâ€™t human.
> 
> A loud thump shook the house and rattled the plates. Katrin braced herself, but it was over too quickly for an earthquake. â€¦


Snappy new title that is far more eye catching, and I've renamed the mother, but other than that it says exactly the same thing -- with a bit more style.

Okay, so I start with an ordinary mother doing an ordinary thing: preparing Thanksgiving dinner for her family. We also see the setting and we know she has a big kitchen. She has an adult daughter, whom she doesn't get to see as much as she'd like to. Then I throw in that twist at the end of the first paragraph. This paragraph needs to be short: ordinary is boring.

With the opening of second paragraph something unusual happens, but it's not a natural phenomenon. Some readers may even be able to guess where in the world this scene takes place from three clues: Thanksgiving dinner, proximity to Ventura (somewhat specialized knowledge), and that earthquakes are not uncommon.


*Creating a good opening is not always easy.*

*It was only three weeks ago that our real-life writing group met specifically to work on our openings.* I took a novelette I'd been struggling with for almost a year. I knew my opening stank, stunk, and even stinked. It was bad. Technically the sentences and paragraphs were good, and some even had a literary lilt. But as an opening it was boring.

For the meeting we went through these worksheets and at certain points we read our opening sentence, opening paragraph, etc., aloud to the group. I read my opening sentence. People shook their heads or said, "Naah. Read the next sentence." I read the next sentence with the same reaction. Then I read the third sentence, and the fourth, and the fifth (they were in an indulgent mood that night).

After about eight sentences it was clear. *I needed to do something radical.* I had some interesting bits in my first scene, some even critical to the story, but nothing really _happened_ until the second scene. Worse, I had far too much narrator telling the reader stuff I wanted to conceal until later. I was also trying to work in a Story Promise type opening, but the only way I could do that is if a grafted a quote in before my first paragraph.

*The easy fix was to toss out the 600-word first scene, the first paragraph of the second scene, and then start.* But I realized I needed a few key concepts from that first scene. So I edited down to under 250 words, and I fixed the second scene.

*The following Thursday was open critique night and I brought my newly reworked first chapter of my novelette.* Comments for my new opening where positive. This is my reworked opening:





> *Dream a Little Dream*
> 
> The young man clenched his fists and threw back his head.
> 
> ...


Now there's a character with passion! And he's internally conflicted about his future. We also have a pretty good idea where he is and his age.

One of the Thursday night readers who wrote, "Love the new opening," on my manuscript also wrote at the beginning of the second scene, "Or you could use this as your opening." This is the opening to my second scene:





> *Dream a Little Dream* (second scene opening)
> 
> â€œFool,â€ he muttered under his breath. â€œI should never have come here today.â€ He stepped over a tree root. â€œIâ€™ll just have to tell her, â€˜Milli, I love you but I canâ€™t marry you.â€™ Iâ€™m almost nineteen. Iâ€™m an adult. I can do this.â€ He took a deep breath. â€œSo why do I still feel like a child?â€
> 
> ...


Her mood is a bit different from his.


*I hope someone will have found these examples useful.* Feel free to dissect them. I'm an engineer and I know that everything can be improved.

*Perhaps we should start a "Critique my Opening Line" thread here at FA.* The rule I use for posting contest story openings is: the title + no more than the first 100 words.

Scotty


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