# But I'm nervous...(trouble with sex scenes)



## Shouden (Jun 6, 2011)

Right, so I've started on a sex scene for this novel I'm working on, and...I'm nervous. I don't know if it's because it's a hetero-sex scene or what? Anyone else get nervous when writing sex scenes?


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## Penelope Dairas (Jun 6, 2011)

> I don't know if it's because it's a hetero-sex scene or what?


Has the fandom become so gay that merely describing heterosexual sex scenes is making people uncomfortable?

No, kidding.
It depends on your personality, to be honest, and how open to these things you are in other aspects of your life. I don't feel any discomfort when writing sex scenes, I even tend to mix them a lot with completely nonsexual ones; but again, that's how I am in real life, too.


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## Shouden (Jun 6, 2011)

I've written sex scenes before, but I've only written lesbian scenes. For some reason, those come easier to me than hetero scenes. I don't know. What I really should do is let my characters write the scene for me...but then it's like watching someone else have sex...which...is the point...yeah, whatever.


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## Fere (Jun 6, 2011)

I tend to be ultra self-critical when it comes to the sex in my stories. Got to give it that tangible eroticism, whilst not going completely over the top. Myself, I view it as an extra opportunity to expand on my characters' wild nature (ie. them being animals essentially). Gives them back that feral sense, and reduces them to raw red-blooded creatures. A proper animalistic, furry yiff scene will certainly give image and credibility to your created furry world.

I will admit that it's difficult not to slip into cliche. But just avoid over-description and corny slang words; the latter will completely wreck it, and leave people laughing instead of feeling for the characters in your scene.


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## Penelope Dairas (Jun 7, 2011)

Fere said:


> But just avoid over-description and corny slang words; the latter will completely wreck it, and leave people laughing instead of feeling for the characters in your scene.


Slang words are a total no-no for me, unless I purposefully put them in someone's mouth. There are too many good literary synonyms to use to reduce myself to such slang words.
And, over-descibing some things... Generally it's not to be used either, except for when you want to put *really severe emphasis* on something in your story. But even then, you have to be careful. Reader is the kind of creature that easily becomes bored when served the same thing over and over.


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## Aden (Jun 7, 2011)

Just watch a porno and make your dialogue the opposite of it


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## Shouden (Jun 7, 2011)

no slang words, don't over explain. Got it. Thanks for the tips, guys...and girls.


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## BRN (Jun 7, 2011)

It honestly depends on the sex scene. If you're talking casual sex, or rape/forced, or romantic sex - the styles are completely different. But, regardless, sex scenes should be the strongly emotional ones; detail in both feelings and what is being 'felt', so to speak. As long as you're competent with injecting emotion to prose, no fear. If you as a writer allow nervousness to halt you, your audience is going to notice the change. 

Furthermore, make sure your word usage is appropriate for the scene. "Insert" might be a suitable verb for romantic sex, while "fuck" is more appropriate for forceful meetings. Play the contrast between a soft and a rough encounter.


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## M. LeRenard (Jun 7, 2011)

Everyone's an expert on writing about sex.
Just from my reading experience, I'd say the less you write the better.  I mean, you could go all Jean M. Auel on us if you want, but don't count on being able to pull that off.  
But really, it's the same as any other piece of description/action.  It works best if it's seamlessly blended into the plot, and don't go too purple in your prose.  Same general writing rules still apply.


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## Shouden (Jun 7, 2011)

Right. The feel I'm going for is half romantic, half rough. They're a younger couple but they like to play rough sometimes. And I think a semi-rough scene fits with the rest of the story better.


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## BRN (Jun 7, 2011)

Shouden said:


> Right. The feel I'm going for is half romantic, half rough. They're a younger couple but they like to play rough sometimes. And I think a semi-rough scene fits with the rest of the story better.


 
You'll probably be looking for descriptions of power and perhaps even pain, but make sure to infuse them with a mutual trust.The action really isn't so important as how the characters seem to react to it.


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## LizardKing (Jun 7, 2011)

Aden said:


> Just watch a porno and make your dialogue the opposite of it


 
"Oh my goodness, that feels delightful! Please increase the frequency and amplitude of your bodily movements post-haste!"


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## Happysin (Jun 7, 2011)

I have a simple rule:  Don't care about what I write for a sex scene the first time around.  Then read it as if I'm seeing it for the first time.  If I look at it and go "I can't fap to this!" then I know it needs rework.  If somehow it worked the first pas through, then great.

Either way, it means I wrote without fear.


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## Rhasp (Jun 8, 2011)

Well from a writers standpoint sex scenes generally make for poor drama. Its like "hey they happy, so whats the point?" if you know what I mean. Id like to think that getting this sort off feeling from writing something is my minds way to tell me it really doesnt belong there or that its something thats need to change with that scene.

Try to experiment a bit with ading some extra tension to the scene (Like in the car scene in titanic where you have the purser hunting for the lovers?) or even try to leave more things to the readers fantasy to fill in (most readers have more fantasy than you think.) and see if that couldnt work miracles for youre scene.

Is my two cents anyway.


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## Shouden (Jun 8, 2011)

I got the tension. They're superheroes rescuing their family and killing everyone that gets in their way. The sex scene is just a nice pause in between bouts of killing and gore. I have it at least halfway completed now. Thanks for the advice everyone.


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## yiffytimesnews (Jun 10, 2011)

I don't mind saying this but the first sex scenes I ever wrote was total crap. The best advice came from this furry female I know, who is also a damn good writer. In your mind think about there actions and write it. If your unsure what a particular body part is called. That is what wikipedia is for, there is also medical web sites. The same could be said about sexual positions.


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## scavola (Jun 17, 2011)

I don't get nervous writing sex scenes, carried away, but not nervous.  Having others read them though, that makes me cringe.

My advice, do it, do it big, uninhibited, write page after page after page until your hands cramp up and you can't write anymore.


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## Lemalas (Jun 18, 2011)

Out of curiosity, can I ask what we're referring to when we say "slang?"

Words like cock, pussy and tits, or more like twat, snatch and wang? 

I probably wouldn't put the latter anywhere in my stories anyway, but just wondering. >_>


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## Shouden (Jun 18, 2011)

agreed. I use the former but not the latter, unless that's the character's personality.


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