# Explaining why I got a tail



## Zico (Dec 21, 2013)

In a way as it says. I don't actually have one but I'm seriously look into getting one. I currently live with my family. If I am to get one, I am likely to wear it often. So when my parents see it, how am I supposed to explain why I even have it?
Let alone why I'm even wearing it?

i tried telling my mum I was a furry, she didn't understand the meaning or anything as it goes. So basically. Help is required in this matter as I presume there are many in my situation. I really don't know weather I should get one at the moment anyway


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## Pantheros (Dec 21, 2013)

if *I* would buy a tail and wear it, i would just tell my family and friends that im simply supporting a fandom, that im just a fan of anthropomorphic animals, and its realy nothing special


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## Zico (Dec 21, 2013)

Not sure if that'll work they will say I look like a queer or say It was a waste.. Etc etc

they will make a thing of it and won't let go every time they would see it.

(UK parents are a bit less understanding and more defending than America) no offence intended there

pantheros fair play u don't know them but at least it could be a opening statement


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## Zenia (Dec 21, 2013)

"I think it's cute!" is how I personally would explain it. However, I don't feel the need to justify myself to others.


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## Zico (Dec 21, 2013)

Sayin it's cute May not work for a bloke zenia


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## Vaelarsa (Dec 21, 2013)

Why do you need to wear it around your parents, who you already know are judgemental?

Also, "because it's fun" works well enough. 
Or you could just put your foot down about it. My parents used to give me a ton of shit for my dark makeup and clothes and crappy Hot Topic pants, but eventually stopped caring because I just didn't let up on it.


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## Aleu (Dec 21, 2013)

"It's a fashion statement"
"It's cute"
"I like making people double take"

Also, if you outright stated to your mother that you're a "furry" without saying exactly what it is, of course she's not going to get it. Say "mum, I'm part of a fandom that enjoys making art and stories of anthropomorphic characters like <favorite anthro characters> which is called 'Furry'"


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## Littlerock (Dec 21, 2013)

"Because I like it." "I'm a furry." "I think it looks cool." "It's a fad." It's a phase" "It's not a phase, you just don't understand me." "It's fashionable." "I always wanted to have a real tail" "Maybe I was born with it, maybe it's Maybelene." "I like to fuck dogs." "#YOLO"

These are some of your options.

Personally, I went with: "You can look but you can't touch it, can't touch it."


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## Zico (Dec 21, 2013)

Yer. I could try that I suppose


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## Zenia (Dec 21, 2013)

Vaelarsa said:


> My parents used to give me a ton of shit for my dark makeup and clothes and crappy Hot Topic pants, but eventually stopped caring because I just didn't let up on it.


My mom used to give me crap about my spiked collar, trench coat and black hair when I was in my goth phase... but I kept doing it anyway. She used to say "I won't go to *place* with you if you are dressed like that!!" as if it was some sort of threat. haha

My grandma didn't give a crap though and wouldn't even say anything about the way I dressed.


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## Zico (Dec 21, 2013)

But the other thing that concerns me is that UK furries a a lot rarer than in other countries in my 19 yrs of life I have never seen anybody with a tail and other apparel. Yes we do have them but a far few in numbers


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## Littlerock (Dec 21, 2013)

AC Fox said:


> But the other thing that concerns me is that UK furries a a lot rarer than in other countries in my 19 yrs of life I have never seen anybody with a tail and other apparel. Yes we do have them but a far few in numbers



So? Make a trend of it.


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## Zenia (Dec 21, 2013)

I can't think of many people that go around wearing things like that every day anyway. Wear them at get togethers and stuff. I know of several UK furs on this site alone... I am sure there are more. Perhaps city/town specific forums? Like, I go to bcfurries.com if I want to talk with furs from my province. That is where they plan meetups and events too.


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## Zico (Dec 21, 2013)

I could give it a try littlerock but generally we as Brits are hard to start a trend. But as it goes there's not really any harm in trying


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## Aleu (Dec 21, 2013)

Just a note, the reply with quote button helps determine who you're talking to about what.


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## Zico (Dec 21, 2013)

Aleu said:


> Just a note, the reply with quote button helps determine who you're talking to about what.



I know I just don't want to make a habit of it that Is all


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## Littlerock (Dec 21, 2013)

As a general rule, if you're an okay person, people won't care what you do. There used to be an older man who was a bit eccentric living about here. He'd carry around a civil war replica snare drum wherever he walked, and liked to play it while he walked to the store, library, and so on. His clothing was a mishmash of everything he liked, nothing matched. 
But nobody ever had a poor word of him, because he was friendly. "What a nice guy!" people said. "It makes me happy to see someone enjoying themselves like that." And when he died, his funeral was packed. Everybody loved him, despite his being different.


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## Zico (Dec 21, 2013)

I think the reaction I will get are going to bee either disgust or discombobulation

for what it's worth I'm sorry to all for sounding so dry. It is no excuse but I haven't eaten all day (joys of being ill) and makes me a bit irritable so please bar with this as I expect it to only last another day or so


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## Aleu (Dec 21, 2013)

AC Fox said:


> I think the reaction I will get are going to bee either disgust or discombobulation



I've worn my tail out and about before. I've gotten no such thing and I live in the south.

People are either curious if it's real or not (it's not), where I got it, and kids absolutely go bonkers for it.


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## Vaelarsa (Dec 21, 2013)

I've worn my ears and tails to bars, and no one gives a shit.
If anything, I mostly tend to just get compliments.


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## Zico (Dec 21, 2013)

As it goes you guys do fill me with the courage I need. I have been looking around and etsy is a place to go for tails ears etc
does anybody else know any other ones


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## Aleu (Dec 21, 2013)

AC Fox said:


> for what it's worth I'm sorry to all for sounding so dry. It is no excuse but I haven't eaten all day (joys of being ill) and makes me a bit irritable so please bar with this as I expect it to only last another day or so


Oh my god eat SOMETHING or you'll get worse, what is wrong with you? >:c
Yes you may throw it up but at least get SOME nutrients in you. Goodness sake's dude.


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## Aleu (Dec 21, 2013)

AC Fox said:


> As it goes you guys do fill me with the courage I need. I have been looking around and etsy is a place to go for tails ears etc
> does anybody else know any other ones



Bir made my tail and she's fantastic at making them sway realistically. I'll have to find the thread for it.


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## Zico (Dec 21, 2013)

Vaelarsa said:


> I've worn my ears and tails to bars, and no one gives a shit.
> If anything, I mostly tend to just get compliments.


 If I were to go into a pub i probably will get starred at constantly whilst at the pub 
( like a bar but not quite the same thing)


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## Zico (Dec 21, 2013)

Aleu said:


> Oh my god eat SOMETHING or you'll get worse, what is wrong with you? >:c
> Yes you may throw it up but at least get SOME nutrients in you. Goodness sake's dude.



Yer dont I know it I can't eat is the problems I get when I'll (helpful lol) it makes me feel worse. It doesn't make me loose appetite but make me wan to puke if I do so ... It's all cushty


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## Aleu (Dec 21, 2013)

http://www.skahllybirtails.com/

She's closed for commissions for now but she's great to work with.
As for ears I do not know.


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## Vaelarsa (Dec 21, 2013)

AC Fox said:


> If I were to go into a pub i probably will get starred at constantly whilst at the pub
> ( like a bar but not quite the same thing)


Stares only matter if you notice them.

I just tend not to care, until someone actually gives me some kind of shit. Which they rarely ever do.


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## Zico (Dec 21, 2013)

U have a point I have had a lot of s*** in past and ignoring is one of my arts.


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## Zico (Dec 21, 2013)

So you guys/gals are saying buy it wear it and don't give a rats arse what anybody else says

i am having second thoughts. I might postpone the tail and get a small trinket eg ring, necklace


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## Volkodav (Dec 21, 2013)

"I think it looks cool"

Done.

Seriously, it's not a big deal, who cares what they think? Women put fox tails on their purses and shit.


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## Zico (Dec 21, 2013)

Clayton said:


> "I think it looks cool"
> 
> Done.
> 
> Seriously, it's not a big deal, who cares what they think? Women put fox tails on their purses and shit.



I opened a thread up for UK users and the general thoughts were. It's not worth the Aggro as people are likely to tug the tail and damage it.
 The weird thing is, that I should already have one(real) and feels weird without it but I have only got this feeling I last couple weeks or so.
badly worded I don't have one but I feel I should have one


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## Volkodav (Dec 21, 2013)

AC Fox said:


> I opened a thread up for UK users and the general thoughts were. It's not worth the Aggro as people are likely to tug the tail and damage it.
> The weird thing is, that I should already have one(real) and feels weird without it but I have only got this feeling I last couple weeks or so.
> badly worded I don't have one but I feel I should have one



Oh that's def an issue, especially if you still attend school. But I don't see the issue with wearing one around home?


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## Zico (Dec 21, 2013)

Clayton said:


> Oh that's def an issue, especially if you still attend school. But I don't see the issue with wearing one around home?


Na been out of school for 3yrs in and out of jobs. Have don college. But the worry is wht my parents would say clayton and others. Can I have you point of view on this


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## Shetana (Dec 21, 2013)

This is from someone who has more or less unique fashion sense: If you like it wear it, don't care what someone else thinks.


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## Volkodav (Dec 21, 2013)

AC Fox said:


> Na been out of school for 3yrs in and out of jobs. Have don college. But the worry is wht my parents would say clayton and others. Can I have you point of view on this


Eh, even if they say anything you can still just tell them "I think it's cool" and that's that. No need to explain any further. It's not something your parents would disown you for, it might just be a thing they think is a little weird, and that's okay. My entire family thinks I'm weird for getting into fur trapping, they call me Jeffery Dahmer. I think you'll be alright with a tail.


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## Trpdwarf (Dec 21, 2013)

Tails have come to the point that they are not just something you see at meets and cons anymore. I've seen (insert expletive here) band-wagoners wearing the crap that was being sold at Hot Topic because it was in. I've seen Anime Fans wear ears and tail just because. Clayton mentioned ladies wearing purses with tails, I've seen being sold at a few malls that way.

I'm not going to tell you what to do or not to do. What I will tell you is to know yourself and your surroundings. Yes people may want to tug on it. So don't buy a fragile tail if that concerns you. You may have people target you in good and bad ways. Are you able to deal with both? Will it cause an unnecessary drama in your family that is just not worth the fuss? These are questions to ask. One of the things that is a little strange is for people to do something and be okay with positive attention, but then throw a little fit every time they get the negative. If you can't swing with both and go with the flow, it may not be a good idea.


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## taras hyena (Dec 21, 2013)

AC Fox said:


> (UK parents are a bit less understanding and more defending than America) no offence intended there



Hahaha, oh shit. That's good.

I should call my old man, see how that motherfucker is.

Seriously though... if you want to get a tail, and wear it around, and explain to people what that means... cool. But man, I wouldn't want to have done all that shit when I was a teen and searching for my identity, and then recall with embarrassment later on in life that it happened. There's a time and a place for that. Meets, Conventions, things like that. But wearing it out in public for no good reason? Seems like - or could be taken as - a cry for attention or something to re-affirm a sense of individuality. Or maybe you just want to wear a tail. I don't fucking know. :-|


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## Fawna (Dec 21, 2013)

I think something that should be taken into account here is how old you are... if you're under 18, your parents might give you crap and make you take it off and so on.  If you're over 18, just tell them to mind their own business?  Sure, they might still complain, but you don't have to care what they think about you.  You're your own free person, be that person.

All else fails, don't wear it around them.  That's your other option.  I think some other people have already said this, but if it's going to cause that much of a fuss, why even bother?  Wear it when they aren't home, or wear it in your room alone.


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## Lucient (Dec 21, 2013)

You could try the good ol'

"Because i'm showing inner anthropomorphic for the world to see who I truly am!, A FURRY!!!"


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## Bladespark (Dec 21, 2013)

I sell tails and ears at a local (non furry) craft market here and I can tell you that TONS of non-furries think they're neat and buy and wear them.  If I were only selling to furries I wouldn't make any money, there aren't that many around here.   Some of my customers are kids, some are adults, some get them to wear to a party or for Halloween or whatever, but lots put them on right on the spot and wear them around the craft market, because they think they're fun.  And these are all people who are not furries, just ordinary people.  

A tail is only a big deal if YOU make it into a big deal, otherwise it's just something silly and fun that anybody might wear just for the heck of it.


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## Kitte (Dec 24, 2013)

I've worn my tail and ears to the shops and at work for Halloween, I got a few stares but eventually you just forget they're even there, most people just thought it was cool. I'm in Aus, not sure how much like the UK it is though. 
Seriously if you're worried about it maybe you should wait, it shouldn't matter what other people say about it, if you want to do it, do it, if they think it's odd or worng tell them to stick it and above all be proud if it's something you feel you really have to do. If you're going to do it there's no point being ashamed about it.
If your parents and friends love you, it won't matter what you wear.

If your intended purpose is to make them ask you about it and then you have to explain it, if it is to make a statement about your "furriness" and you want to have to tell everyone, maybe you shouldn't be doing it, because that's just silly attention-seeking. You shouldn't have to, or want to have to explain your new fad to everyone just because you changed something, you should change it because you like or don't like something.


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## Konotashi (Dec 24, 2013)

If you're going to make a big fuss over it, don't wear it. 

If you're going to be embarrassed about it, don't wear it. 

If you really want to wear it, then wear it and don't give a shit what other people think.


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## Blackberry Polecat (Dec 24, 2013)

Oh gosh, this problem.

The fandom isn't a big deal, but explaining a fursuit or a con to family can be tricky, especially if you have trouble talking about yourself.

If you want to wear it, wear it while you're with friends, so you don't feel so alone. Most people don't even notice things right in front of them, actually.


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## Kitsune Cross (Dec 24, 2013)

"because I fucking want to", If they say it's a waste of money, then you go WHY THE FUCK DO YOU OWN JEWERLY


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## Zico (Dec 24, 2013)

Kitsune Cross said:


> "because I fucking want to", If they say it's a waste of money, then you go WHY THE FUCK DO YOU OWN JEWERLY




Brilliant mate. i've never thought about sayin that. nice one. cushty


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## Pantheros (Dec 24, 2013)

you can overcome any problem in life with this 1 step, simple solution!


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## chesse20 (Dec 25, 2013)

Tell them you wear it because you are sexually attracted to animal people And even if they take the tail away from you they can't take away your sexuality


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## Ji-Ji (Dec 25, 2013)

I used to wear one almost daily, probably still would if I didn't break it.
People questioned it but then got used to it and liked it.

Don't make a big deal of it, wear it if it makes you happy and those who dislike it are probably just pissed because no one is paying them attention.


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## Hooky (Dec 29, 2013)

If your mum asks you, return the question "Why do you wear earrings?". Just say it's part of your interests. They don't like it? Wear it anyway!


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## DrDingo (Dec 29, 2013)

Hooky said:


> If your mum asks you, return the question "Why do you wear earrings?". Just say it's part of your interests. They don't like it? Wear it anyway!


Not sure that's brilliant advice unless you want to sound rebellious, mate. After all, you want the parent to approve of it, not make them say 'well, it's out of my hands now'.


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## Conker (Dec 29, 2013)

taras hyena said:


> Seriously though... if you want to get a tail, and wear it around, and explain to people what that means... cool. But man, I wouldn't want to have done all that shit when I was a teen and searching for my identity, and then recall with embarrassment later on in life that it happened. There's a time and a place for that. Meets, Conventions, things like that. But wearing it out in public for no good reason? Seems like - or could be taken as - a cry for attention or something to re-affirm a sense of individuality. Or maybe you just want to wear a tail. I don't fucking know. :-|


Going to agree with you. When I first found the furry fandom, I really liked the idea of collars. It's an interesting look. So I bought a few people collars and wore them a few times while at college and I mostly just regret that now since it was pretty stupid. 

Only did it a small handful of times before i went "NOPE" and I hope that those who do remember me remember me for anything but that. But probably not.


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## Toshabi (Dec 29, 2013)

If you're going to buy a tail, make sure it's a butt plug.


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## Calemeyr (Dec 30, 2013)

Much of the advice in this thread is terrible. OP, wear a tail if you like in more casual places (like a park), but avoid school or the city. Saying "because I like it", "It's cool", or "because I want to" after asking to walk around everywhere with a tail will get you grounded. It would be like you wanting to dress up like a goth all thr time. If you want to stay on good terms with your parents, don't be a defiant, parent-hating teenager like some of the posters in this thread. Your parents care about your dignity. But telling them it's just for fun for extremely casual locations will probably be fine.


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## Bladespark (Dec 30, 2013)

Some of the people saying to go ahead and do what you like are _adults_ and not teenagers.  I frankly think that a parent who grounds their child because the child likes a _costume accessory_ is being an over-restrictive idiot and deserves every bit of push back and rebellion they get.  Forcing a kid to preserver their "dignity" is pointless.  Nonsensical even.  Teenagers don't have dignity.  Teenagers do all kinds of stupid crap.  One's teenage years is the time to try all those idiotic and silly forms of self-expression.


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## Calemeyr (Dec 30, 2013)

Bladespark said:


> Some of the people saying to go ahead and do what you like are _adults_ and not teenagers.  I frankly think that a parent who grounds their child because the child likes a _costume accessory_ is being an over-restrictive idiot and deserves every bit of push back and rebellion they get.  Forcing a kid to preserver their "dignity" is pointless.  Nonsensical even.  Teenagers don't have dignity.  Teenagers do all kinds of stupid crap.  One's teenage years is the time to try all those idiotic and silly forms of self-expression.


Some parents don't think that way though. Some are kinda irrational. And when they say NO when it's just for fun is frankly rude. But school? The department store? A restaraunt? That's a little overboard. Not very appropriate there. Especially school, where people are very mean as teens and very cliquey.
Some people I've met or seen are very adamant about their passions, to the point where anyone else would be easily embarrassed. It's the people wearing steampunk garb in normal public or gothic Lolita on the subway. It's excessive. It looks like attention-getting behavior. I mean, you don't see people wearing a batman suit on the street outside Halloween, Comicon, or a new movie premiere date, right?

Besides, tails aren't somethig you normally see outside on people. But if the OP wants to wear one, well, they should try to keep it at home and not bring it to school. Again, school is full of hyper-conformist dopes and jerks. I think tails are neat myself, but some places make it a bit too "look at me", so it's hard to find a good place where that doesn't apply.


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## Conker (Dec 31, 2013)

Calemeyr said:


> It looks like attention-getting behavior. I mean, you don't see people wearing a batman suit on the street outside Halloween, Comicon, or a new movie premiere date, right?
> 
> Besides, tails aren't somethig you normally see outside on people. But if the OP wants to wear one, well, they should try to keep it at home and not bring it to school. Again, school is full of hyper-conformist dopes and jerks. I think tails are neat myself, but some places make it a bit too "look at me", so it's hard to find a good place where that doesn't apply.


Yeah. This is what my collar example came down to. I like them as accessories and not just because furry, but they have odd connotations to them and just seem too attention whorish. I didn't like the questions or the looks so I stopped. Looking back, it all seems just daft.

I don't quite have the look/attire to pull it off, but that's neither here nor there.

OP, if you're going to do this--and by all means why not?--ease yourself and those around you into it.


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## Zico (Jan 1, 2014)

No I'm not a teen... I'm not in the position to move out so I'm kinda stuck in my parents house


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## Littlerock (Jan 1, 2014)

It's easier to ask forgiveness than permission. Also, you can ease them into it by starting off with something even wilder; go hardcore thrash/punk for a week or something so that when you ease off into just wearing a tail, it'll pale in comparison and they'll think nothing of it.

:v


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## mAdDoG93 (Jan 11, 2014)

In the same boat here!! just bought a suit but hiding it in my room. I have only had it a few days and have just shown my bro who's 12 and he liked it (well he's only seen the head and hand paws! Been hiding the fact i'm a furry for years and if I told my rents I haven't got a clue what they would think lol. TBH I think you should sit them down and explain to them in as much detail as you want of what the fandom is ( I guess you could say being a trekkie is somewhat the same, just not frowned upon as much!) and remember they are your parents and they should accept/support you in whatever you do


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