# The Critique Thread Jan/Feb 2010



## SSJ3Mewtwo (Jan 3, 2010)

Welcome to the critique thread version 2.0, which we will be doing bi-monthly from now on (or until further notice). Please use this thread to ask for critique. *Do not start a new thread.*

The original rules were written up by Poetigress.  For this 2-month trial period we're trying a slighty different format.  Please reread the guidelines before posting.

_This is a thread for those who want critiques of their written work to post links to particular stories/poems/whatever on FA, in hopes that others will offer constructive criticism.

*In your post, please provide*

    * The title of the work
    * A brief summary/description (so prospective critters know whether it's something they're interested in)
    * Any content advisories (adult language, sexual content, etc.)
* What type of crit you're looking for (just grammar and spelling, or anything, or any particular questions/concerns you'd like the critter to address)
    * The link to the work on FA
**Rule change:  *You must critique at least two (2) other submitted pieces for your work to be be looked at.  Link to both of the critiques that you have made.  

*If you do not critique other pieces before submitting your request, your request will be removed.*

This is not to be needlessly overbearing.  This thread has gone through several iterations now, and each time a common complaint that has come up has been that there is little actual productive critique done, and lots of fruitless requesting for it.  We're hoping establishing a rule of 'give to get' will spur some effective activity.

If you need help figuring out how to critique effectively, try these links:

How to Critique Fiction

How to Cope With Critiquing (from both the critiquer's and author's perspectives)

It's Not What You Say, But How You Say It




_


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## SSJ3Mewtwo (Jan 3, 2010)

*Submitted requests carried over from the previous thread:*

*The Fitz*
*Title: *"Therianthrope"
*Summary: *"A technology addicted shut-in is called to explore the animal aspect of human nature."
*Content: *Descriptive Violence, but nothing too serious.
*Type of Crit: *General writing/style. Anything that strikes you as good or bad.  
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/3126605

*The Drunken Ace*
Unamed. 
About post human (non furry) race and interaction with humans.
General content. 
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/3148664

*thebeast76*
Frost
You find a dragon in your garage and befriend him
General
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/2947687

*Zolen*
Name: Split: Part two (aka chapter two) First Song of madness
Continuation of Split: Breakdown
Summery: Okay so he may have a few mental problems, one Axel has been haing strange dreams, two it seems he has been hearing things and three....well three is a little hard to say. That's one heck of a way to change. But then again, This...change....could it be _worth the effect?_ As he hears his ears ringing, the blood dripping, is this the _first song of madness_?

*NaotaM*
Name: Memory Donor (a Thursday Prompt; planning on expanding later)

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/2917897/

Summary: An experimental peek into the life, thoughts and buried desires of an operator at a memory donation facility. I like prompts as excuses to try something experimental and out of my comfort zone, so I came up with the first in what'll hopefully become a short series of standalone stories surrounding the main character and his rather...unique line of work.

I tried going for a somewhat cold, alien and impersonal feel, with a bit of uneasy sensualness as well. No names, no dialogue. Just stark, antiseptic environs and slightly off, awkward tension. Let me know what you think, good or bad. <3

*Goldstar78i*
*Title: *Constellations

*Summary: *A "disturbed" anthro describes his mind.

*Warnings:* None.  But the story is strange.

*Critique wanted: *Any kind of critique is good wit' me.  

*Link:* http://www.furaffinity.net/view/3073700

*Mediteral_Hart*
Title:  Dusk (Dawn Alternate Ending)

This is the alternate ending to my dawn story and this leads into a new series Im planning to do. I would love critique on the pacing and the story direction, maybe a pointer on a series...

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/3211599

Rated mature for blood, death, and general sadness

*Goldstar78i*
*Title: *The Bar

*Summary: *A man overhears anthros talking about him in a bar.   

*Warnings:* None. But the story is strange.

*Critique wanted: *Any kind of critique is good wit' me. 

*Link: *http://www.furaffinity.net/view/3200146


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## M. LeRenard (Feb 2, 2010)

Are people not requesting critiques because now you have to critique other pieces first?  I'm curious.


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## Shouden (Feb 2, 2010)

that's my main hindrance...that and I'm not ready to have anything critiqued. Maybe I'll critique a couple things sometime so I can put up my AFSSC Spring 2010 submission up. I've critiqued something for MewTwo, but I don't think I can link it.


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## SSJ3Mewtwo (Feb 4, 2010)

It's been a question that's been nagging since the new thread was created.  If anyone does care to put forward a point of view or their honest thoughts, that'd be very much appreciated.


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## Xipoid (Feb 4, 2010)

My own experience is not so insightful. I do not request critiques nor give them because I do not take writing seriously enough. My desire for improvement is eclipsed by my desire for enjoyment. This just isn't one of the things I wish to excel at given the current time.


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## Altamont (Feb 4, 2010)

I haven't submitted simply because of my lack of...well...material. I actually love critiquing other people's work. There are few things in life more stimulating than critical analyses and debates in regards to writing


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## SSJ3Mewtwo (Feb 5, 2010)

Altamont said:


> I haven't submitted simply because of my lack of...well...material. I actually love critiquing other people's work. There are few things in life more stimulating than critical analyses and debates in regards to writing



You can, of course, offer critique to people who are asking for it without asking for critique of your own.  Does the way the ruling is worded make that seem to be a requirement?  If so I'll redo it, because precluding helpful advice due to a mix-up in phrasing is the last thing we want.


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## Altamont (Feb 5, 2010)

I have already begun my reading and critiquing  Man, I love discussing writing XD


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## Scarborough (Feb 8, 2010)

M. Le Renard said:


> Are people not requesting critiques because now you have to critique other pieces first?  I'm curious.



I haven't had much time to critique lately.

Nor am I looking for critiques right now. *shrug*


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## Atrak (Feb 8, 2010)

Well, Altamont critiqued one of my pieces, so he'd only need one more  .


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## KyleAwesome (Feb 9, 2010)

M. Le Renard said:


> Are people not requesting critiques because now you have to critique other pieces first?  I'm curious.


I've already read some of the stories at the top of this thread, and left some feedback. However, the next piece I would request a critique on is the second part of a longer story. I'm not sure if that would be a fair request, since you'd pretty much have to read the first part too.


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## Atrak (Feb 9, 2010)

KyleAwesome said:


> I've already read some of the stories at the top of this thread, and left some feedback. However, the next piece I would request a critique on is the second part of a longer story. I'm not sure if that would be a fair request, since you'd pretty much have to read the first part too.



It is possible to critique without reading the initial part. They might miss something due to a giant gaping hole in the plot, but it can be done  . Especially if they just critique character development, descriptions, dialogue, etc.


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## M. LeRenard (Feb 10, 2010)

KyleAwesome said:


> I've already read some of the stories at the top of this thread, and left some feedback. However, the next piece I would request a critique on is the second part of a longer story. I'm not sure if that would be a fair request, since you'd pretty much have to read the first part too.


Depends on what all you're asking to be critiqued.  You could always ask for critique on both parts if plot continuity is an issue.

I'm just trying to see, mainly, why there's this huge month and a half long gap between the last request and now.  Some of the people who requested critiques so long ago seem to have out and out disappeared.  If requiring folks to critique other pieces before they can post their own is that big a deterrence, it kind of defeats the purpose of even having this thread.  And it doesn't seem to be solving the problem it was meant to correct so much as creating a whole new one.
So really: be honest.  Do folks just not want to have to critique other pieces before they post their own?  The rule was experimental to begin with, so if that's the case, we'll change it back to the way it was.


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## Atrak (Feb 10, 2010)

M. Le Renard said:


> Depends on what all you're asking to be critiqued. You could always ask for critique on both parts if plot continuity is an issue.
> 
> I'm just trying to see, mainly, why there's this huge month and a half long gap between the last request and now. Some of the people who requested critiques so long ago seem to have out and out disappeared. If requiring folks to critique other pieces before they can post their own is that big a deterrence, it kind of defeats the purpose of even having this thread. And it doesn't seem to be solving the problem it was meant to correct so much as creating a whole new one.
> So really: be honest. Do folks just not want to have to critique other pieces before they post their own? The rule was experimental to begin with, so if that's the case, we'll change it back to the way it was.


 
Nah, I like it this way. Question, though: Do the critiqued works have to writings?


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## Poetigress (Feb 10, 2010)

M. Le Renard said:


> So really: be honest.  Do folks just not want to have to critique other pieces before they post their own?  The rule was experimental to begin with, so if that's the case, we'll change it back to the way it was.



My two cents: Every writers' group I know of -- face-to-face or online -- requires its members to crit more than they post, so IMO the rule change was completely reasonable. Admittedly, it didn't surprise me a bit to see participation drop drastically once the new rule went into effect.

If it doesn't work this way, then you might as well just let the thread die, because I don't see any other fair way for it to work.


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## M. LeRenard (Feb 10, 2010)

Poetigress said:


> If it doesn't work this way, then you might as well just let the thread die, because I don't see any other fair way for it to work.


Well, I don't want to scrap the whole thing.  Before, it was crippled, yeah, but it was still alive.  People did get critiques.  Granted, not very many, but it's better than not even giving people the option (because, frankly, I still don't want the forum getting cluttered up with private critique request threads).  Unless you want me to just start redirecting all critique requests to the Tutorials and Critiques forum, but that would be irritatingly inconvenient since I'd have to message Ratte or someone to move those threads over there for me every time one came up.
I'm just getting the feeling that the people who usually ask for critiques somehow don't feel qualified to be critiquing other works, or something like that.  Which is silly, of course.  We're not asking anyone to give a top-notch critique.  Just a critique.
I guess I'm reluctant to just call the whole thing off because I recognize that this forum isn't exactly CritiqueCircle, or anything remotely close to that.  I don't feel a real need for ultra strict guidelines, especially if those guidelines end up just scaring people off.  But I would still like a separate place for writing critique requests, here in this part of the forums.  I personally would settle for less, if that's all we can get.



			
				atrakaj said:
			
		

> Do the critiqued works have to be writings?


I'd say yeah, since this is a writing forum and since most of us here don't have a great deal of art or music critique experience.


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## KyleAwesome (Feb 10, 2010)

Perhaps it's just a slow time for writing. I've been following the Writer's Block group on FA, and they seem to be having the same problem. It died off for a couple months around November, then came back with only bi-weekly updates. 

If it helps at all, I have a piece that may be ready to critique later tonight!


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## M. LeRenard (Feb 10, 2010)

I suppose it could also be that.  Which would be another reason to avoid making rash decisions.
And yeah, if you've got a piece, please post it!  Just, you know.  Make sure you critique two others in the list first.


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## Scarborough (Feb 10, 2010)

Hey, btw, I was wondering if, for future reference, people could include what kind of work it is they're posting? Viz., poetry v. prose. Because I'm looking to critique specifically poetry right now, and it's kind of awkward having to click through the individual links just to find poetry.


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## Altamont (Feb 10, 2010)

Scarborough said:


> Hey, btw, I was wondering if, for future reference, people could include what kind of work it is they're posting? Viz., poetry v. prose. Because I'm looking to critique specifically poetry right now, and it's kind of awkward having to click through the individual links just to find poetry.


 
I second that motion.


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## KyleAwesome (Feb 11, 2010)

Well, I'm a day later than I said, but here goes! It's a story, more specifically a continuation of a story that I got critiqued from the last thread (which I've also revised, thanks for the feedback on that!).

*Title:* Solitary, Part 2
*Summary:* Aaron returns to Daniel's cabin after a day in Yellowknife, only to find himself in a very different situation when he discovers what's inside. (4111 words) The setting is in the arctic - a near-future world where humanity is slowly being killed off by a series of wars and disasters, although the primary focus is on these two characters - a young refugee and a hardened, lonely wolf.
*Content Advisories:* Nothing explicit. Implied rape at the worst.
*What Type of Crit?:* The usual. If the people who did my first story happen to remember, am I getting better or worse? Is it worth continuing? I'm also trying to tell the story out of order, but I dunno if it works. 
*Link:* http://www.furaffinity.net/view/3406789 (too bad the 0 wasn't a 5)

Also, I've already left feedback for The Bar and Memory Donor, in case you guys are really cracking down on that


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## Scarborough (Mar 7, 2010)

Point of clarification: How recently must the two critiques be made to apply to your own post?

As in, could I have critiqued two things a month ago and then come in here and ask for a critique if I haven't used those critiques a month ago for another post?


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## M. LeRenard (Mar 8, 2010)

This isn't something we discussed, but I think, for each piece you request a critique on, you need to critique two others.  So if this is your first time requesting a critique since the rule has been implemented, and you've already critiqued two other pieces (even if it was a year ago), those two would count, or if it's been a while since you last requested a critique, but you still critiqued two pieces the last time you posted here, those two still count.  Et cetera.
Bottom line is, every time you post a request here, just make sure that you have two links to go along with two pieces you've critiqued before posting your request.
But again, this is just how I interpret it.


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