# What are the psychological effects of killing someone?



## Hooky (Apr 13, 2014)

I have this idea for a short story that may involve the accidental killing of the protagonist's companion by the protagonist themself. I have to ask - seeing as I'm clueless in these respects - how killing someone and having to live while hiding the truth would affect someone psychologically. I should also ask how to convey this "damage" that this person has contracted from this event. I'm wondering if there is a way of writing this that is true to life and also subtle.

Any ideas or knowledge regarding this morbid subject?


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## Hjoldir-Hildwulf (Apr 13, 2014)

Well, I can't say I've ever killed anyone (yet). However Skyrim is at hand.

When talking with Hadvar or Ralof during the civil war:

"You know, some nights when I close my eyes, I see the battle stretched out before me, like I'm still there... Do the men you've killed haunt you? Mine do..."

You'll be presented with two dialogue options:

1. "Only a beast kills without feeling."

          - "I suppose you're right... they say it gets easier... I'm not sure if that's a good thing... But never mind all that. We've got a job to do."

2. "If you hadn't killed them, they would have killed you."

          - "That's what I keep telling myself. But, never mind all that. We've got a job to do. Don't we?"

I see this as a man trying to deal with mixed emotion after killing. He's a Soldier who has killed in he name of order and righteousness, however that still doesn't mean its easy to live with yourself.


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## Astus (Apr 13, 2014)

It really depends on the type of person, and a multitude of other factors, such as how it was done, or their personality type

For example someone who shot someone may flinch every time there is a loud sound, or someone who stabbed someone may wake up in the middle of the night and hallucinate having thier hand covered in blood or something like that. 

I know one of my characters was a murderer and when they finally caught him, he did nothing and when they asked him a question he would only reply "I see their faces, bloody faces,  and they want me dead"


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## Volkodav (Apr 13, 2014)

You turn into a meth kingpin


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## Eggdodger (Apr 13, 2014)

Considering it was unintentional, the protagonist clearly had no violent intentions... It was also their dear companion. That would leave someone very broken. They may pledge pacifism, or perhaps take their own life in guilt and grief (unless the proper intervention takes place).

It might help to look over the five stages of loss/grief. I'd imagine a lot of bargaining to take place in the character's inner dialogue if it's an orderly good, virtuous protagonist. He/she would look for any way to make up for their deed, going to extreme measures to compensate.


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## ta1ls84 (Apr 14, 2014)

A current perspective that has a lot of traction is that violence is self perpetuating. It might be something you could integrate.
Seriously, though, I often don't get people- I always ask a scientist when I'm writing and I find myself asking a question like that.

http://chronicle.uchicago.edu/961205/violence.shtml 
The end of the article addresses your question more directly.

Google has some pretty good search tools you might like, too. You can limit your results to scholarly articles and if you use advanced search (an option from the gear icon) you can also limit your results to specific domain name extensions.


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## Xevvy (Apr 14, 2014)

Yeah, let's ask FA how it feels to kill someone - because I'm sure the average furry murders people on a regular basis!

I suppose it would depend largely on the person. A highly strung person may flip out and totally lose control of their motions whereas someone a little more psychotic would probably just shrug it off and go about their days no differently than before. If it's for the purpose of writing, maybe do some research on the topic (Google is your friend) and then assess the relevant character - based on said research, how is said character most likely to respond to that kind of situation?


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## sniperfreak223 (Apr 14, 2014)

It varies widely from person to person, and often depends on the circumstances of the kill. Some people, like serial killers, for example, are unable to feel empathy for other living things and are not bothered at all by taking a life. Many normal people aren't too disturbed by killing if it's a life or death situation or if it's to protect their family ( a mere evolutionary defense mechanism), but then others, probably the majority, in fact, are haunted by the person they killed because they know that they took away another life, and it's even worse if they knew the person or looked into their face before the kill, hence why issues like PTSD are far more common in soldiers involved in close-quarters urban combat (ie Iraq) than open combat (like Afghanistan), simply because they can see the face of their enemy before they take their life.

Hope this post doesn't get me in too much trouble.


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## Hooky (Apr 14, 2014)

Thanks for the replies - I now have a vague idea of what I should do. I'll visit scholarly articles pertaining to the subject and attempt to match it up with the protagonist's  personality.


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## Troj (Apr 14, 2014)

You might want to read "On Killing" and "On Combat" by Dave Grossman for insight into this topic.

If it were me, I'd also start googling around for true-life cases of people who experienced something similar to my characters, to see how they reacted.


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## ACraZ (Apr 14, 2014)

I think if that is the main point of your story (this poor dude dealing with what he did) then it's ultimately about what you want to portray with/about the character. After all, you don't want to right a story that's "This is what would most likely happen if this happened."


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## Ssilversmith (Apr 16, 2014)

Its hard to describe. From my point of reference, it starts out numb. The pain slowly builds. It eats away at you. Things that were once funny, sad, or scary are just noises and colors. You try and deal, to move on, but by your self the only voices of encouragement are your own, and they're not often very encouraging. You start to doubt your self, doubt the people around you, and ultimately doubt life itself. Its a cold darkness with no light.


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## BRN (Apr 16, 2014)

ACraZ said:


> I think if that is the main point of your story (this poor dude dealing with what he did) then it's ultimately about what you want to portray with/about the character. After all, you don't want to right a story that's "This is what would most likely happen if this happened."



This guy's got a great point.

You're not trying to show what the common reaction would be - you're showing what your character's reactions would be, and dealing with their personal conflict. It totally depends on your character!

Guilt and maddening guilt don't _have_ to be parts of it. A character who has "seen some shit" will probably already have rationalised what mortality is.

 On a day-to-day basis, that kind of character will probably carry it as a sombre secret, but it won't hurt them -- except when they think too much about it, in weaker private moments.

 On the other hand, an emotionally fragile or anxious person will probably be nearly destroyed by their actions; unstoppable crying, shaking hands, self-destructive guilt...

Tell us some more about the character, if you feel like it.

I have some personal experience to share; at one point, I believed I was culpable for a suicide, and I remember that quite clearly, so feel free to poke me questions in a PM.


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## Ozriel (Apr 16, 2014)

I'd say it depends on the person and their occupation, but I suspect the psychological effects would differ depending on that. But I'd like to know more about the character as well.


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## Batty Krueger (Apr 16, 2014)

My friend served 2 tours in iraq. And hes not to happy about the things he had to do. PTSD is not something I would wish on my worst enemy.


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## Torrijos-sama (Apr 20, 2014)

I have had to put down pets. It is a strange feeling that you experience more problems with leading up to the actual action, then the thought lingers with you for a while afterwards, upwards of a few weeks for me. 

Depending on circumstance, it may just be an unpleasant fixation, fixation on regret, or in situations with extraordinary circumstances like accidents or warfare, it may be traumatic. From the trauma comes multiple ways that the person will react to it: 

They may dissociate, and believe that something else was responsible for their actions or completely attempt to suppress all memories of the event through compartmentalizing their experience. In this case, they may feel nothing, and their problems will manifest in a variety of ways through personality changes to emotional problems.

They may feel directly responsible for the action, and feel guilty or have issues with self-worth. 

Or, they may possibly feel that everything was out of their control, and deal with their issues from there like one might deal with a car accident, or accidentally burning their clothes on an iron. This is more of the path of individuals who are working within a hierarchy such as career military men and people "following orders" without consideration to their actions, or full-on psychopaths.


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## Lykaon (May 5, 2014)

Hooky said:


> I have this idea for a short story that may involve the accidental killing of the protagonist's companion by the protagonist themself. I have to ask - seeing as I'm clueless in these respects - how killing someone and having to live while hiding the truth would affect someone psychologically. I should also ask how to convey this "damage" that this person has contracted from this event. I'm wondering if there is a way of writing this that is true to life and also subtle.
> 
> Any ideas or knowledge regarding this morbid subject?



When I first read the topic, I figured, 'No problem, I'll chime in' -- and then I saw the 'accidental' part, which honestly threw me   (Seriously, there must be some veterans here somewhere...).

Any time one takes a life â€“ provided you aren't a sociopath, and it isn't a self-defense life or death struggle, where it's you or them, period â€“ it changes you.   If you've been in or known anyone who has been in a situation where they survived yet a friend didn't, survivor's guilt is inevitably an issue, but, again, that hardly addresses the question.

Just from what you've given me above â€“ that the death was accidental, and the character was forced to hide it from others, that â€“ provided they held their shite together after the fact â€“ they'd compensate as best they could, for man (or anything thinking like him) is a rationalizing animal, so we tend to rationalize, and then, of course, there's always that primary defense mechanism, denial; in any case, I suspect they'd begin to de-compensate over time, with their behaviour and manner fraying around the edges in a predictable fashion, as was the character's wont.

HTH,


Lykaon


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## Gnarl (May 5, 2014)

Most veterans will have two words for you, myself included, ..... LEAVE IT!


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## Lykaon (May 6, 2014)

Gnarl said:


> Most veterans will have two words for you, myself included, ..... LEAVE IT!



Hey -- if your reply was directed to me (if not, please ignore this post entirely) -- it sounds as if I ruffled some feathers; if so, please understand I meant no offense, and was merely trying to answer the OP from a writer's perspective.

I've got my own share of PTSD, believe me; there's not a day I wish I didn't.

So, no offense meant, and apologies for any caused; I just take my own naturally thick skin for granted, and I confess I can be thoughtless at times.

Sincerely,


Lykaon


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## Gnarl (May 6, 2014)

Man it's all good! Just remember this is a fun forum and there are some things that are just better left alone, thanks!


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