# How would you upgrade YOUR body?



## Thatch (Apr 23, 2012)

I was reading up on animals, both living an extict, and the various weird/cool physical traits they developed, or are physically capable of developing (if evolution took them that way). One thing in particular cought my attention - while bony plates/scales usually aren't associated with mammals, mammalian skin DOES have the ability to develop them, like, say, on rat tails or the armadillo armour. Or hell, even our fingernails. So it immidiately occured to me that it would be pretty cool to have some kind of tough dermal armour protecting my puny human flesh. And who knows, maybe with genetic engeneering, we'll actually be able to grow those. 

And this may sound a little like the transhumanist thread, BUT... why stop at that? Only my internal aversion to computerisation and the heavy reliance of any mechanical/electronical upgrades on access to maintnance (and thus to civilisation) makes me rather follow the biological path of advancement.

So what BIOLOGICAL improvements to your puny human body would YOU make? 

(inb4 "I'd be my fursona")


----------



## Smelge (Apr 23, 2012)

Pogo penis.

This thread is now over.


----------



## Aldino (Apr 23, 2012)

Cats eyes, I would like to be able to see during complete darkness.


----------



## Irreverent (Apr 23, 2012)

Thatch said:


> So what BIOLOGICAL improvements to your puny human body would YOU make?



Seriously?  Webbed toes and fingers, otter style.  Its a huge performance increase when swimming, yet barely noticeable when not in the pool.   The ability to hold one's breath for extended periods of time, ala whales and dolphins would also be a great stealth upgrade.  Some form of controllable bio-luminescence would also be concealable until needed....and then damn handy when the battery is dead on my crackberry and I've dropped my keys again. 

Wings, while cool, would just be a PITA.  If I want to fly, I'll book out a Cessna.


----------



## NerdyMunk (Apr 23, 2012)

Sprouting wings.
Bye bye driving behind slow-as-shit people and waiting in red lights.


----------



## ErikutoSan (Apr 23, 2012)

I'd give myself a tail like those spider monkeys and crawl all over the place.


----------



## Littlerock (Apr 23, 2012)

Not gonna lie, having digitigrade feet would be wicked fun. Running like a _monstah_.


----------



## Dreaming (Apr 23, 2012)

The legs of a kangaroo, the teeth of an alligator, the arm muscles of a gorilla, the eyes of a cat and the ears of a dog :V 

Honestly...I would improve my body muscle of course. Or maybe the legs of a cheetah, man it'd be great to run at breakneck speeds.


----------



## Mxpklx (Apr 23, 2012)

Eyes that can see in the dark, the ability to adjust your metabolism, scales :3


----------



## gokorahn (Apr 23, 2012)

Lets see.... if i could only have one thing, it would be a tail that I can use as a third arm.

If I could change almost everything? Defiantly the tail still, canine ears, for better hearing, and wings cause I wanna fly.


----------



## Smelge (Apr 23, 2012)

Actually, I'd just like a liver that worked properly and bowels that did what they were fucking told.


----------



## Stratto the Hawk (Apr 23, 2012)

Well...

Anyway, I want wings. Yes, it doesn't help that I'm a burdfag, but when it would mean that I can fly for 2-3 minutes, instead of 15-20 and get to class without having to deal with nearly getting run over by assholes everyday, I'd call that a huge plus.


----------



## Thatch (Apr 23, 2012)

Most of what was said seems legit, but I have one objection - attaching wings to a human frame just wouldn't work. You'd basically have to change your WHOLE body to a bat/bird shape. So it's less modifying and more just completely discarding it.



Smelge said:


> Actually, I'd just like a liver that worked properly and bowels that did what they were fucking told.



I think you'll have more luck with having working wings :V


----------



## Kluuvdar (Apr 23, 2012)

Hmmm...

I would totally go with a lizard like dragon tail which would make it SO easier to balance when walking on those pesky pool screen beams. Although good chairs would be hard to find.

And, of course
A stomach that can process milk >.<


----------



## Irreverent (Apr 23, 2012)

Smelge said:


> Actually, I'd just like a liver that worked properly and bowels that did what they were fucking told.



This makes me sad.  Mostly because of the way I punish my liver....


----------



## gokorahn (Apr 23, 2012)

Thatch said:


> Most of what was said seems legit, but I have one objection - attaching wings to a human frame just wouldn't work. You'd basically have to change your WHOLE body to a bat/bird shape. So it's less modifying and more just completely discarding it.



That does pose a problem then... Minus the wings for me, and add cat eyes for night vision.


----------



## CerbrusNL (Apr 23, 2012)

Aldino said:


> Cats eyes, I would like to be able to see during complete darkness.



Cats can't see in complete darkness.
Their eyes are more sensitive (read: can distinguish contrast better) in (very) low light levels, yes. But darkness is still darkness.


----------



## Kitutal (Apr 23, 2012)

I'd want a tail, those things are really useful. When I was younger, I wanted wings, but then I worked out how huge they'd have to be, drawing so much attention, getting in the way and so on, and that flying would burn energy more than twice as fast as sprinting...
But a tail, so nice and so many uses... and heightened senses would be nice too.


----------



## Aetius (Apr 23, 2012)

The super ability to have a brain with lots of patience.


----------



## Onnes (Apr 23, 2012)

Screw low light vision. Just give me some good old-fashioned bioluminescence.


----------



## Azure (Apr 23, 2012)

i would replace my entire body with a robotic vagina. tactical missiles not included, but surely on order from amazon


----------



## Kluuvdar (Apr 23, 2012)

Azure said:


> i would replace my entire body with a robotic vagina. tactical missiles not included, but surely on order from amazon



I'm putting that in my signature...

Also, I would go with some kind of claw, to tear open packages and the like, my left hand is useless anyway.


----------



## Criminal Scum (Apr 23, 2012)

A jetpack.


----------



## Corto (Apr 23, 2012)

Lasers. Out of every orifice on my body.


----------



## Artillery Spam (Apr 23, 2012)

The ability to take pain at ridiculous levels (i.e unmatched endurance and toughness).


----------



## Roose Hurro (Apr 23, 2012)

Dreaming said:


> The legs of a kangaroo, the teeth of an alligator, the arm muscles of a gorilla, the eyes of a cat and the ears of a dog :V
> 
> Honestly...I would improve my body muscle of course. *Or maybe the legs of a cheetah, man it'd be great to run at breakneck speeds.*



It doesn't work that way... it's not the legs, it's the spine along with the legs.  And being down on all fours.  And a cheetah is a short-range sprinter, they have no endurance.




Irreverent said:


> This makes me sad.  *Mostly because of the way I punish my liver....*



You can never have too much onion and/or bacon with your liver...




CerbrusNL said:


> Cats can't see in complete darkness.
> Their eyes are more sensitive (read: can distinguish contrast better) in (very) low light levels, yes. *But darkness is still darkness.*



And I can already see in the dark just fine.




Aetius said:


> The super ability *to have a brain with lots of patience*.



Already got that, too.


Hmmm... like some others here, a prehensile tail would be handy, and I do like the idea of natural body armor.  I'd also like improved senses, strengthened bones (like a pronghorn antelope), and a bit more hair to "shade" my neck and shoulders (a "mane", in other words).  A more dense muscle structure certainly wouldn't hurt, either.  And legs a bit more suited to jumping and running.  Claws for climbing trees would also be a neat addition, but I could live without them.  Other than that...?


----------



## Thatch (Apr 23, 2012)

Azure said:


> i would replace my entire body with a robotic vagina. tactical missiles not included, but surely on order from amazon



I SAID NO ROBOTS >:C

You can be a plain, old, fleshy vagina.


----------



## Criminal Scum (Apr 23, 2012)

I would like to exist in more than three dimensions, or at least be able to see in more than three.


----------



## Fiesta_Jack (Apr 23, 2012)

Yeah, to everyone saying they want wings... How often do you run places? Because I'd bet it'd take more energy to fly. You'd be too lazy and be like 'Yeah, fuck flying, I'll just ride my bike."

I'd just want a body that can take more punishment. I use my body nicely, but all the damage I do to it adds up.


----------



## Roose Hurro (Apr 23, 2012)

Fiesta_Jack said:


> Yeah, to everyone saying they want wings... How often do you run places? Because I'd bet it'd take more energy to fly. You'd be too lazy and be like 'Yeah, fuck flying, I'll just ride my bike."
> 
> I'd just want a body that can take more punishment. *I use my body nicely*, but all the damage I do to it adds up.



What doesn't add up is the fact, if you really are using your body "nicely", then it shouldn't be damaged at all.  "Damage" indicates "abuse"... and abuse is not a "nice" thing to do to your body.


----------



## Fiesta_Jack (Apr 23, 2012)

Roose Hurro said:


> What doesn't add up is the fact, if you really are using your body "nicely", then it shouldn't be damaged at all.  "Damage" indicates "abuse"... and abuse is not a "nice" thing to do to your body.



I guess you've never played sports...


----------



## Ikrit (Apr 23, 2012)

better ears

so i can finally talk properly and hear music like everyone else can


----------



## Thatch (Apr 23, 2012)

Criminal Scum said:


> I would like to exist in more than three dimensions, or at least be able to see in more than three.



Yep, time-travel is a typical physical trait in animals.


And with a little thought, I decided that separate orifices for feeding and breathing would be pretty cool. Fuck chocking to death.


----------



## Ames (Apr 23, 2012)

I want the ability to barf out all of my internal organs in self-defense, then regrow them later.  Just like a sea cucumber.

[yt]Ux6XiMAebn8[/yt]


----------



## Mxpklx (Apr 23, 2012)

Thatch said:


> Yep, time-travel is a typical physical trait in animals.
> 
> 
> And with a little thought, I decided that separate orifices for feeding and breathing would be pretty cool. Fuck chocking to death.


Yeah, that's called the nose and mouth :V


----------



## gokorahn (Apr 23, 2012)

JamesB said:


> I want the ability to barf out all of my internal organs in self-defense, then regrow them later.  Just like a sea cucumber.



Just the idea of it should keep you rather protected, cause I almost threw up watching it 
x.x


----------



## Deo (Apr 23, 2012)

How about more realistically, because I want a tattoo sleeve by Jeff Gogue really badly.


----------



## Irreverent (Apr 23, 2012)

Roose Hurro said:


> You can never have too much onion and/or bacon with your liver...



Its the Chianti and fava beans that are killing mine.  Mostly the Chianti.


----------



## Ad Hoc (Apr 23, 2012)

Being able to change my skin color like an octopus would be cool.


Or, like, being able to produce fully functional collagen so my joints weren't such horseshit.


----------



## Kaizy (Apr 23, 2012)

Expanded orifices to accommodate ridiculously large Bad Dragon products

Just like all furries secretly want


----------



## Spatel (Apr 23, 2012)

Well, for starters, I want Mantis Shrimp eyes.

......................................................................We were not meant to be!
........................................................./








			
				wikipuderia said:
			
		

> The midband region of the mantis shrimp's eye is made up of six rows of specialized ommatidia.  Four rows carry 16 differing sorts of photoreceptor pigments, 12 for  colour sensitivity, others for colour filtering. The mantis shrimp has  such good eyes it can perceive both polarized light and hyperspectral colour vision.[SUP][11][/SUP] Their eyes  (both mounted on mobile stalks and constantly moving about  independently of each other) are similarly variably coloured and are  considered to be the most complex eyes in the animal kingdom.[SUP][12][/SUP][SUP][13][/SUP] They permit both serial and parallel analysis of visual stimuli.
> 
> 
> Each compound eye is made up of up to 10,000 separate ommatidia of the apposition type. Each eye consists of two flattened hemispheres  separated by six parallel rows of highly specialised ommatidia,  collectively called the midband, which divides the eye into three  regions. This is a design which makes it possible for mantis shrimp to  see objects with three different parts of the same eye. In other words,  each individual eye possesses trinocular vision and depth perception.  The upper and lower hemispheres are used primarily for recognition of  forms and motion, not colour vision, like the eyes of many other  crustaceans.
> ...




tl;dr - they have better eyes than anything. I'd change a lot of stuff but that would be priority number 1.


----------



## Bipolar Bear (Apr 23, 2012)

Fox tail. Because fetishes. XD


----------



## Xenke (Apr 23, 2012)

Cod piece.

Also Velcro like fingers, like lizards have. :[


----------



## Ames (Apr 23, 2012)

Spatel said:


> Well, for starters, I want Mantis Shrimp eyes.



I'd also want mantis shrimp arms.  I'd be able to punch through a fucking bank vault.


----------



## ShÃ nwÃ ng (Apr 23, 2012)

Cuttlefish skin. Or regenerating limbs. Or the ability to spit a corrosive acid and not have it burn my mouth like it does now.


----------



## Mxpklx (Apr 23, 2012)

ShÃ nwÃ ng said:


> Or the ability to spit a corrosive acid and not have it burn my mouth like it does now.


You mean like a vulture? Oh wait you mean acid. Not just throwing up on anybody who comes near you. That would still be pretty cool though.


As for my body, I'd want an oblong head for more brain capacity, 2 hearts, and a single large avian-sponge lung.


----------



## Kahoku (Apr 23, 2012)

HORRIBLE POST.


----------



## Metalmeerkat (Apr 24, 2012)

A jet pack.



			
				Thatch said:
			
		

> So what BIOLOGICAL improvements to your puny human body would YOU make?


Oh. A biological jet pack then. And dammit foxecality, don't steal mah ideas. :x


----------



## Teal (Apr 24, 2012)

I'd want to be able to grow new teeth. Kinda like a shark.


----------



## Roose Hurro (Apr 24, 2012)

Fiesta_Jack said:


> I guess you've never played sports...



If you've injured yourself playing sports, then you've abused your body... taken it past it's limits.




Thatch said:


> And with a little thought, *I decided that separate orifices for feeding and breathing would be pretty cool*. Fuck chocking to death.



Unless you have a serious birth defect or have been in a horrible, disfiguring accident, then you DO have separate orifices, already.




Irreverent said:


> Its the Chianti and fava beans that are killing mine.  *Mostly the Chianti.*



Replace the Chianti with green tea.  And don't skimp on the onions with your liver.  The fava beans shouldn't be causing any problems, unless you're prone to gas.  If your farts can peel paint, then you need to find something to counter, like a dose of "Beano" beforehand.


----------



## Sarcastic Coffeecup (Apr 24, 2012)

Grow back lost limbs. Like lizards can grow their tails and certain lizards can grow limbs too


----------



## Leadbelly (Apr 24, 2012)

I'd make it more hard-wearing. More resistant to the environment, better immune system, and able to survive long periods without food or water. Then I would explore the crap out of this world.


----------



## greg-the-fox (Apr 24, 2012)

I've always wanted super-vision, and a 'zoom' feature to my eyes lol. And to be able to see in slow motion, or the complete electromagnetic spectrum.


----------



## Telnac (Apr 24, 2012)

Biological upgrades?  Just boring ones, like having an athletic body no matter what I ate or now much I worked out.

Technological upgrades, on the other hand... well, let's just say if the Borg showed up and demanded we be assimilated, I'd be leaping for joy!  90% machine and 10% human sounds like a good combination to me!


----------



## Kitutal (Apr 24, 2012)

Roose Hurro said:


> Unless you have a serious birth defect or have been in a horrible, disfiguring accident, then you DO have separate orifices, already.


But they then connect to each other just inside, that's the problem. Birds have separate holes for breathing in and out, unless I'm remembering it slightly wrong again.

Anyways, forget anything dramatic, I want to be able to talk as loud as other people do, that's the one thing that would have the best effect on my life, I think, and theoretically might even be possible one day. Also to be pretty fit and strong and athletic and so on, things like that. Also could happen, I guess it's just the tail I'm missing out on, though sometimes when I lean back in the chair, I get this odd crunching noise down there like little used joints shifting position slightly...


----------



## Schwimmwagen (Apr 24, 2012)

Straight hair.


----------



## Kaamos (Apr 24, 2012)

Tentacles, tentacles everywhere.


----------



## Schwimmwagen (Apr 24, 2012)

Sarcastic Coffeecup said:


> Grow back lost limbs. Like lizards can grow their tails and certain lizards can grow limbs too



Ooh, I'd like this. That way my fears of dismemberment will be forever vanquished.


----------



## Thatch (Apr 24, 2012)

Kitutal said:


> But they then connect to each other just inside, that's the problem.



Leave it to furries to fail both at biology and daily life, eh? I mean, mentioning chocking to death SHOULD have been enough to explain what I meant.

Unless they chocke when they put stuff up their nose :V



Sarcastic Coffeecup said:


> Grow back lost limbs. Like lizards can grow their tails and certain lizards can grow limbs too



Salamanders and axlotls can regrow whole organs, including eyes and non-vital brain areas, multible times without fault.

At least aim high :V



Telnac said:


> Technological upgrades, on the other hand... well, let's just say if the Borg showed up and demanded we be assimilated, I'd be leaping for joy!  90% machine and 10% human sounds like a good combination to me!



The fact that I said "NO MACHINES/COMPUTERS" aside, you're just being fetishistic here. I'm asking about actual IMPROVEMENTS. That DO STUFF. Not just to be an unique snowflake.


----------



## lupinealchemist (Apr 24, 2012)

Probably just buy the whole anthro wolf package (how unoriginal) with digitigrade feet and cellular regeneration. Plus the enhanced stamina will be good for me. But I will keep my human junk so I don't end up pissing in my face.

Forgive me if this feels like Den material.


----------



## Criminal Scum (Apr 24, 2012)

Thatch said:


> Yep, time-travel is a typical physical trait in animals.


I'm talking about spatial dimensions.


----------



## Attaman (Apr 24, 2012)

Remove the psoriasis from my scalp, and... I think that's it. I'm in good health otherwise, and have no particular need for other modifications. If I want to get stronger I could just, I 'unno, work out, same goes for hand-eye coordination and a few other matters. Maybe if augmentation becomes widespread I'd get more so as to keep up with the population, but otherwise I'm fine with removing psoriasis, and that's only a mix of convenience and "cleaning up" my genetics a smidge (hoping they could clean the genetics).


----------



## Thatch (Apr 24, 2012)

Criminal Scum said:


> I'm talking about spatial dimensions.



I'm pretty sure there are only three spatial dimensions. Unless general relativity lied to me.


----------



## soutthpaw (Apr 24, 2012)

Ikrit said:


> better ears
> 
> so i can finally talk properly and hear music like everyone else can



Intersting, I quite happy being Deaf,  there are many things I would upgrade before my ears..  Though those have been done already but it seems Cyborg improvements are not covered in this thread. Yes I really do have 2 electrode arrays implanted in my head!    Signing with paws can be a bit challenging. 

I definitely miss my tail.   Evolution sucks sometimes...   I want it back!!

I already have great night vision due to being red/green color blind just like my Fursona (trait of all Cats and many other mammals by the way).  This also improves my ability to detect those in camouflage.  Reason the Military likes to employ color blind folks as spotters and snipers etc.


----------



## Kaspar Avaan (Apr 24, 2012)

I have a thing about my short, stubby legs and fingers. I'd make those longer.
Or making myself taller, because I'm only 5'7" at most.


----------



## Aetius (Apr 24, 2012)

Kaamos said:


> Tentacles, tentacles everywhere.



What would one do with such a power? :v


----------



## DevistatedDrone (Apr 24, 2012)

Biological upgrades, eh?

Can I upgrade my testicles to produce chocolate instead?


----------



## kyle19 (Apr 24, 2012)

Better lungs, and some improvement to help me swim longer. Could take up free diving then.


----------



## Ikrit (Apr 24, 2012)

soutthpaw said:


> Intersting, I quite happy being Deaf,  there are many things I would upgrade before my ears..  Though those have been done already but it seems Cyborg improvements are not covered in this thread. Yes I really do have 2 electrode arrays implanted in my head!    Signing with paws can be a bit challenging.
> 
> I definitely miss my tail.   Evolution sucks sometimes...   I want it back!!
> 
> I already have great night vision due to being red/green color blind just like my Fursona (trait of all Cats and many other mammals by the way).  This also improves my ability to detect those in camouflage.  Reason the Military likes to employ color blind folks as spotters and snipers etc.



but i'm not deaf, only impaired
it's annoying because i hate hearing aids
and i don't want no damn digital crap in my brain
i just want normal ears


----------



## Ley (Apr 24, 2012)

I wouldn't add any flashy shit like wings. I would take my body and better it instead of change it. 

A higher sense of smell and a better eyesight. Better hearing- but to be able to 'focus' my hearing, if that makes sense. Same thing with my eyes and nose. 

I want to be able to adapt better to my surroundings, and have greater control over my schedules. (sleep, eating, etc). 

I want to be able to speed or slow my metabolism at will. I want to have a greater capacity for strenuous, longtime exercise. I want the ability to sense who would be a better mate, physically and mentally. 

I want to be able to run on very little rest, if the situation is needed. Iwant a greater control over my emotions. 

If it came down to it, I want to be able to survive and even FIND things of nature tasty. (Leaves, bugs, mice, etc)

If it came to body adaption, grow a thicker version of the body hair we do now- if I needed to stay outside. (I give no fucks on what people think about it, hair is hair. If a guy doesn't like me because my legs are fuzzy, its his loss, not mine.) 

I want to be able to purge myself of things bad for my body via throwing up, secretion, etc. 

Really, I just want to upgrade what we do have.


----------



## gokorahn (Apr 24, 2012)

Ley said:


> Better hearing- but to be able to 'focus' my hearing, if that makes sense. Same thing with my eyes and nose.


I think I get what you mean, like how a Barn Owl can pinpoint a mouse's heartbeat. Right?


----------



## Ley (Apr 24, 2012)

gokorahn said:


> I think I get what you mean, like how a Barn Owl can pinpoint a mouse's heartbeat. Right?



Yup. :>


----------



## Ikrit (Apr 24, 2012)

Ley said:


> Yup. :>



thats called selective hearing


----------



## Mxpklx (Apr 24, 2012)

On second thought, I'd also want a special system of veins that contain bioluminescent liquid so I could glow and shit like those deep sea jellyfish.


----------



## triage (Apr 24, 2012)

the ability to be white


----------



## Antonin Scalia (Apr 24, 2012)

Huge liver



triage said:


> the ability to be white



heh


----------



## Dyluck (Apr 24, 2012)

I'd replace my head with a chocolate cake.


----------



## Bleedswhitefire (Apr 24, 2012)

Extreme ability to heal everything. Mainly the brain being on top of the list. Then bones. Then everything else. Talk about NO FEAR!


----------



## TheMaskedRaccoon101 (Apr 24, 2012)

Indestructability (resisting nearly all kinetic damage due to being tougher than steel). The indestructability would activate when it detects danger or when I willingly activate/deactivate it. Bones and teeth that are always hundreds of times tougher than steel and harder than diamonds. Evolved muscle that can resist being pulled and can move faster than a cheetah! A chemically enhanced brain that creates a certain chemical at will and has an extremely high intellectual capacity. Biological inprovement to funcion normally at supercold body temperatures if I choose to activate this power. An extremely flexible spine. Pure healthy blood that doesn't freeze solid until 60 below zero and makes me float in water without even moving. Spider silk skin (a highly evolved skin which mimics the feeling of regular skin, yet is stronger than nylon). Gecko type regeneration where when I lose a body part, it slowly grows back. A light, extremely durable turtle shell that I could retract myself into. Being able to have super-energy. Having any wounds that I do get to disinfect themselves. Being able to produce any chemical on my skin like that toad that produces it to scare off preditors. I guess that's it. There might be more but I'll post it later.


----------



## Ames (Apr 25, 2012)

I want the ability to survive in the cold vacuum of space with zero protection.

Like tardigrades.


----------



## Kangamutt (Apr 25, 2012)

Ability to move my eyes independently like a chameleon. Or maybe some gills to go with my lungs.


----------



## Roose Hurro (Apr 25, 2012)

Bubba Jay said:


> Extreme ability to heal everything. Mainly the brain being on top of the list. Then bones. Then everything else. Talk about NO FEAR!



Sounds like you want to be The Highlander.

_*fetches sword*_

*"THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!"*


----------



## Bliss (Apr 25, 2012)

Parthenogenesis. 

I'ma be mother.


----------



## CaptainCool (Apr 25, 2012)

probably a new spine, hips and legs since those parts of my body are shot anyway 
other than that im pretty happy with myself.
shooting lazers from my eyes would be cool though...


----------



## Ariosto (Apr 25, 2012)

The ability to eat my regular dose of candy without becoming obese or diabetic in the future.


----------



## Irreverent (Apr 25, 2012)

Lizzie said:


> Parthenogenesis.



Big black nemesis....


----------



## soutthpaw (Apr 25, 2012)

Ikrit said:


> but i'm not deaf, only impaired
> it's annoying because i hate hearing aids
> and i don't want no damn digital crap in my brain
> i just want normal ears



you should try Digital hearing aids if you have not already.   it will take several visits to a good audiologist to get them dialed in correctly though.   Hearing with hearing aids is much better and more natural than with a CI.  At least from my experience.    one reason I rarely use mine, sounds like crap if there is any background noise. they don't do well with music either.


----------



## soutthpaw (Apr 25, 2012)

Ariosto said:


> The ability to eat my regular dose of candy without becoming obese or diabetic in the future.



Now that I can agree with you on.  I have zero will power in the presence of chocolate or candy. So I try not to buy it...


----------



## Zydrate Junkie (Apr 25, 2012)

All I could think of would be improving senses, and possibly having the ability to change colour like cephalopods do.


----------



## CannonFodder (Apr 25, 2012)

Complete control over life, death, all of time and reality.


----------



## Cain (Apr 25, 2012)

Giant fucking wings which I could fly with.

Also more efficient muscles, heart and lungs, for dat breathing 'n shit while flying (I don't know okay I just want wings)


----------



## Thatch (Apr 25, 2012)

Dyluck said:


> I'd replace my head with a chocolate cake.



We have a winner, thread over.


----------



## kyle19 (Apr 25, 2012)

Irreverent said:


> Big black nemesis....



Holy Hell, someone else on this forum that knows of Shriekback. You need an award right now for linking that.


----------



## Sar (Apr 25, 2012)

I would say the ability to blend in with surroundings. Much like how Anoles and Chameleons camouflage.


----------



## Reiko93 (May 2, 2012)

The ability to state the obvious EPICALLY, And super acrobatic skills.


----------



## Kahoku (May 2, 2012)

I would want to have a fast metabolism, and be one foot taller.


----------



## Sarcastic Coffeecup (May 2, 2012)

I'm surprised of the lack of dick upgrades so far :V


----------



## Kahoku (May 2, 2012)

Sarcastic Coffeecup said:


> I'm surprised of the lack of dick upgrades so far :V



Well its cliche to pick the obvious one.


----------



## Kaamos (May 2, 2012)

Sarcastic Coffeecup said:


> I'm surprised of the lack of dick upgrades so far :V



I bet some furries would go for the dick from that dream sequence in Tromeo and Juliet.


----------



## NerdyMunk (May 2, 2012)

Kaamos said:


> I bet some furries would go for the dick from that dream sequence in Tromeo and Juliet.


Well, fine, I would like multi-dicks that sprout into tentacle dicks. :V


----------



## PapayaShark (May 2, 2012)

I wouldn't want wings because it would be impossible to fly with them anyways. They would have to be really big to lift our body, but then they would be to heavy to fly with.

I want closeable gills so I could breathe under water and not have them dry up on land. And a pair of see-through eyelids. Having semi retractable claws would be cool too.


----------



## Torrijos-sama (May 2, 2012)

A large, even more infinitesimally complex brain, capable of rearranging the entire universe.

Or madness in the rest of mankind.


----------



## Roose Hurro (May 2, 2012)

Sarcastic Coffeecup said:


> I'm surprised of the lack of dick upgrades so far :V



I don't need any upgrades.


----------



## Mentova (May 2, 2012)

Redundant bodily systems like krogan in mass effect so I could survive impossible damage to my body and just shrug it off.

Of course, I'd rather have crazy cybernetic implants and augmentations then that. I want crazy multifunction tool arms and HUD cyber shades and stuff like Deus Ex. :C


----------



## Roose Hurro (May 2, 2012)

Mentova said:


> Redundant bodily systems like krogan in mass effect so I could survive impossible damage to my body and just shrug it off.
> 
> Of course, I'd rather have crazy cybernetic implants and augmentations then that. *I want crazy multifunction tool arms* and HUD cyber shades and stuff like Deus Ex. :C



Like this? - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2oxGAfIm5l0


----------



## Mentova (May 2, 2012)

Roose Hurro said:


> Like this? - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2oxGAfIm5l0



Yes like that. I want a goddamn tool box arm.


----------



## Bando (May 2, 2012)

Eyesight like an eagle's. May seem boring as hell, but I_ hate having fucking terrible eyesight._


----------



## Furryjones (May 2, 2012)

I'd have retractable scythes that sprout from my forearms, super senses, digitigrade legs so I could run super fast, the strenght/size ratio of a great ape


----------



## Roose Hurro (May 2, 2012)

Hmmm... personally, if I had my previously mentioned "mods" added to a Wolverine-level healing factor and those neat adamantium bones and claws, that would be a plus.


----------



## Commiecomrade (May 2, 2012)

Dick upgrade, lose that quarter of a hundredth of an inch off stomach flab to achieve "fit" status, ...I guess that's it.


----------



## Mentova (May 2, 2012)

Furryjones said:


> I'd have retractable scythes that sprout from my forearms, super senses, digitigrade legs so I could run super fast, the strenght/size ratio of a great ape



digitigrade legs would probably hinder you more then help you with running, especially since your body is used to plantigrade legs.


----------



## Randolph (May 3, 2012)

I would love a monkey tail that could support my own weight.

IMAGINE THE POSSIBILITIES.

Also the monkey tail actually looks like a scorpion tail so I'd look less retarded.

Or... something.


----------



## ryanleblanc (May 3, 2012)

Just a nose job for me thank you.


----------



## Foxys92 (May 4, 2012)

hmm ... A beautiful fox tail would be ideal, it's too cute, and also the legs to run faster ^-^


----------



## Evan of Phrygia (May 4, 2012)

Moar vestigial structures.

That way I can be ironic.


----------



## Randolph (May 5, 2012)

This is Tides said:


> Moar vestigial structures.
> 
> That way I can be ironic.


I'd choose to have stainless steel limbs. I would then call myself ironic.

THE PERFECT CRIME.


----------



## Cocobanana (May 6, 2012)

To look just attractive enough that my initially chilly demeanor could be overlooked until things clicked between me and other potential new friends.


----------



## NerdyMunk (May 6, 2012)

THUNDR THIGHS.
Animal instincts also so I can know what is about to happen.


----------



## Bipolar Bear (May 6, 2012)

NerdyMunk said:


> THUNDR THIGHS.
> Animal instincts also so I can know what is about to happen.



And also feel the presence of ghosts.


----------



## Project H311H0UND (May 6, 2012)

How would I upgrade my body?...(Starts thinking about it and looks down)... Do you really want me to answer this? You all know what im thinking. Hint: it revolves around one of my body parts getting bigger XD
I would also like to have a dog tail.


----------



## ryanleblanc (May 6, 2012)

Nevermnd, srry please disregard this post, I was laughing at a joke that I'm pretty sure wasn't even supposed to be a joke. Again srry.


----------



## MattisVeneficus (May 7, 2012)

I would get rid of my pectus excavatum. (chest caves in on itself)
And then I would make my legs longer so i could run faster.
edit: I would also make it so that i have more upper body strength. Having twigs for arms isn't a good thing. However, I would stay super skinny. (it makes my tiny muscles look big because they're all you can see)


----------



## Plantar (May 7, 2012)

I'd get rid of the asthma I got from my mom, from her second hand smoke in the whole house when I was little. She had the windows closed most of the time, too...


----------



## Furryjones (May 7, 2012)

Mentova said:


> digitigrade legs would probably hinder you more then help you with running, especially since your body is used to platigrade legs.



Well when I sprint my heels never touch the ground, so basically I'm running digitigrade anyway lol


----------



## ShÃ nwÃ ng (May 7, 2012)

I'd probably throw in an ink gland while I'm at it. My nipples aren't being used for anything atm.


----------



## Mxpklx (May 7, 2012)

Dilldoughmcgee said:


> I would get rid of my pectus excavatum. (chest caves in on itself)


My friend has the exact opposite, where his sternum stick out at like a 45 degree angle, and makes it look like he has a huge lump under his chest. Very strange...


ShÃ nwÃ ng said:


> I'd probably throw in an ink gland while I'm at it. My nipples aren't being used for anything atm.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RNsU_k5uzvs I just had to post that.


----------



## MattisVeneficus (May 7, 2012)

Mxpklx said:


> My friend has the exact opposite, where his sternum stick out at like a 45 degree angle, and makes it look like he has a huge lump under his chest. Very strange...


It's basically the same condition, except in opposite directions. (his is called pectus carinatum)
Many interesting things about them both on wikipedia.


----------



## drpickelle (May 7, 2012)

I'd make it so I could grow a sweet ass beard!

Not on my ass mind you-- a beard of the face variety. :V


----------



## Roose Hurro (May 7, 2012)

drpickelle said:


> *I'd make it so I could grow a sweet ass beard!*
> 
> Not on my ass mind you-- a beard of the face variety. :V



I hate shaving.  My face hates shaving.  I'd rather have my face be smooth as a baby's ass.


----------



## Mentova (May 7, 2012)

jenniesims321 said:


> Id like to have wings to go all over the world and always fly high like the birds.



You'd need more than wings to be able to fly.


----------



## drpickelle (May 7, 2012)

Mentova said:


> You'd need more than wings to be able to fly.



Horribly hollow and fragile bones, that the weight of a human body would probably crush. Birds are complicated. :V


----------



## Kaamos (May 7, 2012)

Mentova said:


> You'd need more than wings to be able to fly.





drpickelle said:


> Horribly hollow and fragile bones, that the weight of a human body would probably crush. Birds are complicated. :V



No, you just need to BELIEVE. Then jump off a cliff.


----------



## Mentova (May 7, 2012)

drpickelle said:


> Horribly hollow and fragile bones, that the weight of a human body would probably crush. Birds are complicated. :V



Exactly!

If you wanna fly get a jetpack or something.


----------



## darcey.lambert (May 9, 2012)

Its easy to make some extra muscles my doing some daily exercises and eat well some non veg foods.


----------



## Bipolar Bear (May 9, 2012)

My last post wasn't exactly truthful as to what I actually want, so here's a complete list:

-Cybernetic arms and eyes (think Deus Ex: Human Revolution).
-Ability to morph into a Feral version of my Fursona for a short period.
-Enhanced reflexes and agility.
-Built-in Lie detector.
-Able to split blood cells 200% faster, meaning my wounds heal instantly as soon as they're created.
-Neural-hub. Come on, who wouldn't want one?

That's about it, I think.


----------



## drpickelle (May 9, 2012)

Foxecality said:


> Able to split blood cells 200% faster, meaning my wounds heal instantly as soon as they're created.



All I can picture, are those clones that were made of Dead Pool awhile back... they lacked cancer to keep their healing in check, and they exploded horribly. If you want to be constantly producing blood cells at an extreme rate-- wish for cancer too. You'll live longer. :3


----------



## Bipolar Bear (May 9, 2012)

drpickelle said:


> All I can picture, are those clones that were made of Dead Pool awhile back... they lacked cancer to keep their healing in check, and they exploded horribly. If you want to be constantly producing blood cells at an extreme rate-- wish for cancer too. You'll live longer. :3



Noted. 'Cancer outweighs Rapid Growth of Blood cells, preventing me from exploding.'


----------

