# Twilight



## Xaerun (Dec 14, 2008)

My sister is going to see it tonight, and I haven't read the book, so I have no idea what it's about or how its written. Is it a good movie? Why/why not?

I'm just wondering if I should take some friends to it, and I don't want it to be a massive flop.


----------



## Hanazawa (Dec 14, 2008)

http://forums.furaffinity.net/showthread.php?t=31619

You can enjoy it if you are a teenage girl, or have the mind of a teenage girl. If you are not a teenage girl, go in with a good sense of humor. It's campy and trashy and completely hilarious if you're not expecting any oscar-winning performances.


----------



## Nylak (Dec 14, 2008)

No. It sucks. The book sucks. From what I hear, the movie was somehow _worse_. I don't believe them. There's no way anything could be worse than that literary monstrosity. >>

My roommate, who loved said novel, convinced me to try and read the first book in the series, and I literally couldn't get through it. XD Couldn't do it. It was like pulling teeth.  And even my friends who liked the book said the movie trashed the book. So. Take something painful to begin with and make it worse. Hmm. I don't recommend it.


----------



## Hanazawa (Dec 14, 2008)

sometimes I feel like the only intelligent person who didn't completely hate it.

it is not a good movie. it is not a good book. but a sense of humor will help you immensely if you decide to dive in!


----------



## Xaerun (Dec 14, 2008)

Can you guys recap the plot for me then?
And Hana, if you mean what you mean by sense of humour is "ability to continuously mock a movie of any genre from start to finish", I gots it.


----------



## Nylak (Dec 14, 2008)

Nah, I consider most of my friends relatively intelligent, but I'm pretty much the only one in my group who despised it. XD I'm also the one who hated Harry Potter. This is, of course, only counting my female friends; all my guy friends won't touch it with a ten foot pole, which is why I don't recommend it in this particular instance (seeing as the questioning fella is, in theory, a male).

I guess it just takes a certain taste (and more than a few grains of salt). I most definitely have my immaturities, more than most; sparkly vampires and mary-sues and relationship dynamics aimed to please the average 12-year-old girl just aren't among them.

Also, plot summary from the dissenting half of the audience: Mary-sue female falls in love with a handsome vampire guy. They have problems, probably with his family or friends or whatever, I don't really remember, I don't think it was very interesting. They probably end up together, happy as pigs in shit, after a lot of high school drama type stuff and googly eyes and kissy faces.  

...But since I didn't actually read the whole thing, I'll let Hana recap a bit more accurately if she so pleases.  *cough*


----------



## Xaerun (Dec 14, 2008)

Nylak said:


> ...all my guy friends won't touch it with a ten foot pole, which is why I don't recommend it in this particular instance (seeing as the questioning fella is,* in theory*, a male).


I see what you did there.



Nylak said:


> I guess it just takes a certain taste (and more than a few grains of salt). I most definitely have my immaturities, more than most; sparkly vampires and mary-sues and relationship dynamics aimed to please the average 12-year-old girl just aren't among them.


Aye, this is what I gathered from the look of the book. Wasn't totally sure, though, so I figured I'd ask.



Nylak said:


> Also, plot summary from the dissenting half of the audience: Mary-sue female falls in love with a handsome vampire guy. They have problems, probably with his family or friends or whatever, I don't really remember, I don't think it was very interesting. They probably end up together, happy as pigs in shit, after a lot of high school *musical* type stuff and googly eyes and kissy faces.
> 
> ...But since I didn't actually read the whole thing, I'll let Hana recap a bit more accurately if she so pleases.  *cough*


Gotta love them Mary Sues. Oh, and at least the bolded part isn't fix'd, hey? *epic shudder*


----------



## Hanazawa (Dec 14, 2008)

plot:
teenage girl moves to bumfuck nowhere, where it rains all the time!!! and omg there are these weirdo kids at her school who she discovers through various events are actually vampires. but she doesn't care because she's in love with one of them, and he's actually in love with her too. it's okay until these wandering eeeevil vampires show up and because one of them is psychotic they chase the girl around until there is an epic vampire battle!! the end.

I mean, it's a four book series, there's more to it than that... but that's the gist.


----------



## Not A Fox (Dec 14, 2008)

If you wanna see the movie, then by all means, do so. 

Just don't pay for it.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w6Kk7TQ4HkI&feature=PlayList&p=C1ED1C68A4A53508&index=0&playnext=1


Click that link instead.


----------



## NerdyMunk (Dec 14, 2008)

If you want to see a movie, go out and pay for it. Downloading it from the internet doesn't support the studio, getting off our butts and going to a theater and paying for the movie does. Same for the music bizz. Go out and buy the CD!


----------



## Rilvor (Dec 14, 2008)

No. I encourage pirating and stealing as much as you can when it comes to Twilight. Fuck that miserable hack of an author.


----------



## Skittle (Dec 14, 2008)

brownsquirrel said:


> If you want to see a movie, go out and pay for it. Downloading it from the internet doesn't support the studio, getting off our butts and going to a theater and paying for the movie does. Same for the music bizz. Go out and buy the CD!


This studio doesn't deserve ANY money of this horrid monstrosity of a 12-year-old girl's wet dream. It is so abhorrent it should be burned, with the fires of Hell but I'm sure even the Devil wouldn't touch that shit. 

http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/thatguywiththeglasses/bum-reviews/2741-twilight

There is the gist, OP


----------



## Ratte (Dec 14, 2008)

Almost all new vampire shit sucks.  I can't stand the preppy boy gone pseudo-goth/emo type of things.  There's just nothing good in it.

I miss the old renditions of vampires.


----------



## Art Vulpine (Dec 14, 2008)

I'm a fan of the new vampires (Underworld, Queen of the Damned, etc.)

But this one is a typical haelequin novel with vampires. 

Here's the gist of the plot:

Sterotypical innocent girl moves to an unfamilial town, makes friends, and acts angsty.

She meets a sterotypical emo, dark, and mysterious boy who just happens to be a vampire.

She falls madly in love with him and for the rest of the movie wrestles with how her life will be dating a vampire.

The point:

Middle School and High School girls will swoon over it. Guys will groan over it. Vampire fans will shake their fists in anger.

I gave it a C.


----------



## Skittle (Dec 14, 2008)

Inari85 said:


> I'm a fan of the new vampires (Underworld, Queen of the Damned, etc.)
> 
> But this one is a typical haelequin novel with vampires.
> 
> ...


A C? I give it a negative Z.


----------



## Not A Fox (Dec 14, 2008)

Rilvor said:


> No. I encourage pirating and stealing as much as you can when it comes to Twilight. Fuck that miserable hack of an author.



^This



skittle said:


> This studio doesn't deserve ANY money of this horrid monstrosity of a 12-year-old girl's wet dream. It is so abhorrent it should be burned, with the fires of Hell but I'm sure even the Devil wouldn't touch that shit.
> 
> http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/thatguywiththeglasses/bum-reviews/2741-twilight
> 
> There is the gist, OP



^that


----------



## Xaerun (Dec 14, 2008)

skittle said:


> This studio doesn't deserve ANY money of this horrid monstrosity of a 12-year-old girl's wet dream. It is so abhorrent it should be burned, with the fires of Hell but I'm sure even the Devil wouldn't touch that shit.
> 
> http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/thatguywiththeglasses/bum-reviews/2741-twilight
> 
> There is the gist, OP



Hahaha that was FANTASTIC!


----------



## Magikian (Dec 14, 2008)

skittle said:


> This studio doesn't deserve ANY money of this horrid monstrosity of a 12-year-old girl's wet dream. It is so abhorrent it should be burned, with the fires of Hell but I'm sure even the Devil wouldn't touch that shit.
> 
> http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/thatguywiththeglasses/bum-reviews/2741-twilight
> 
> There is the gist, OP



'And I will just stare at you.'


----------



## Nylak (Dec 14, 2008)

skittle said:


> http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/thatguywiththeglasses/bum-reviews/2741-twilight
> 
> There is the gist, OP


 
OMIGAWD.  THAT'S IT.   THAT'S SO IT.  RIGHT THERE.  XD

*can't stop cracking up.*


----------



## Art Vulpine (Dec 14, 2008)

skittle said:


> A C? I give it a negative Z.


 
Well at least it had a plot, albeit a bad one.

There are som movies I have seen where I couldn't figure out the plot.

I'm very selective with my movies.

Most movies I've seen are A or B movies.

Twilight was an exception as it was hyped up but failed to live up to the fame in my opinion.


----------



## InvaderPichu (Dec 14, 2008)

Rilvor said:


> No. I encourage pirating and stealing as much as you can when it comes to Twilight. Fuck that miserable hack of an author.



This.


----------



## Skittle (Dec 14, 2008)

Inari85 said:


> Well at least it had a plot, albeit a bad one.
> 
> There are som movies I have seen where I couldn't figure out the plot.
> 
> ...


A C, no matter what you give other movies, is still way too high.


----------



## Frasque (Dec 14, 2008)

http://www.cracked.com/article_16878_if-twilight-was-10-times-shorter-100-times-more-honest.html

This will save you the ticket price.


----------



## Not A Fox (Dec 14, 2008)




----------



## Hanazawa (Dec 14, 2008)

what's your point? everyone looks unattractive when they're photographed mid-sentence.


----------



## Oidhche-Yorath (Dec 14, 2008)

Hanazawa said:


> what's your point? everyone looks unattractive when they're photographed mid-sentence.


This is the point: http://i34.tinypic.com/28mgrqo.jpg


----------



## Azure (Dec 15, 2008)

Hanazawa said:


> what's your point? everyone looks unattractive when they're photographed mid-sentence.


She looks unattractive all of the time. I'll bet she puts sparkly glitter on her vampire dildo.


----------



## WolfoxOkamichan (Dec 15, 2008)

Even the artists themselves hate the characters! That's saying something!

Anti-Shurtugal, the awesome Inheritance critic, is also doing Twilight.


----------



## Skittle (Dec 15, 2008)

WolfoxOkamichan said:


> Even the artists themselves hate the characters! That's saying something!
> 
> Anti-Shurtugal, the awesome Inheritance critic, is also doing Twilight.


The guy who played the main character had no idea how to play such a dry, emotionless, characterless person. He said there was nothing to act!


----------



## Ozriel (Dec 17, 2008)

I am going to give you guys this:

http://stoney321.livejournal.com/317176.html

It pretty much sums it up and more.


----------



## Ozriel (Dec 17, 2008)

Oidhche-Yorath said:


> This is the point: http://i34.tinypic.com/28mgrqo.jpg



Great Buddha!!!

I need to find a Harpoon for that beast of a whale!!


----------



## Trpdwarf (Dec 19, 2008)

I had some fun with Zeke during the night and decided to make a video to put on your youtube about Twilighters and their inability to deal with trolls and opinions.

I thought it would be relevant to post it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TkRSMK5QQTo

Let me know what you think? Also, the resolution was much nicer before the upload...uploading it to Youtube destroyed the quality....


----------



## Frasque (Dec 20, 2008)

Hanazawa said:


> what's your point? everyone looks unattractive when they're photographed mid-sentence.


 
I think he was making the point that the author is clearly compensating for a lack in her own life by making her heroine beautiful and popular and so special she makes a magical super-being fall hopelessly in love with her. 

Correct me if I'm wrong, O.Y.


----------



## WolfoxOkamichan (Dec 20, 2008)

Twilight was based on author's sex dream.


----------



## WarTheifX (Dec 20, 2008)

Twilight. TWILIGHT?!

*walks over to a vampire, tears out their vamp teeth, jabs each into an eyeball, then snaps their neck*

It's a terrible movie. It made me feel like killing myself. And then I lost my girlfriend.


----------



## Masakuni (Dec 21, 2008)

brownsquirrel said:


> If you want to see a movie, go out and pay for it. Downloading it from the internet doesn't support the studio, getting off our butts and going to a theater and paying for the movie does. Same for the music bizz. Go out and buy the CD!



except going out and paying for a movie that sucks will give Hollywood the idea that those kind of movies are what people want, therefore more crappy movies like this are made. No matter what reason you are going to see the movie, paying the 7-10 bucks is still going to contribute to how much the movie earns.

While I don't condone illegally downloading good movies, do so for movies you're certain that will suck. Sure the bad reaction is still there, but at least you don't have to give the makers of it your money.


----------



## Psudowolf (Dec 21, 2008)

Worst...movie....ever.


----------



## fangborn (Dec 22, 2008)

earlier this year at my school u could not turn the corner without finding a girl (and in some "rare" situations a boy) with a twilight book......... my teacher even made us read it. i now have half a brain.


----------



## .Ein. (Dec 22, 2008)

Twilight blows.

The only positive about it is that the fangirls/fanboys seem to suck at dodging my car.


----------



## MayDay (Dec 22, 2008)

You guys aren't the only ones unhappy with the book and author.
Muse fans haven't been too happy that Meyers announced 'Muse' was her favorite band ^^


----------



## Attaman (Dec 22, 2008)

Here's my advice:  Don't see it if you have any pre-existing thoughts of Vampires, Werewolves, or any of the sort being tolerable.  Similarly, don't see it if you dislike protagonist stupidity or shallow characters.

If you can handle sparkling depth-lacking idiotic vampires and stalker-fetishing zealous love of the former, go for it and enjoy the movie made for you.


----------



## JamestheDoc (Dec 28, 2008)

Rilvor said:


> No. I encourage pirating and stealing as much as you can when it comes to Twilight. Fuck that miserable hack of an author.



You've won my heart.

In all seriousness...

Don't see it if you haven't already... it's a bad book, and I'm sure the film is just as horrible...

Save time and money for something Godamn worth it.


----------



## donkeypuncher (Dec 30, 2008)

The book was horrid. I want to watch it just to see how bad the movie is in comparison. But only once I can rent the DVD, that way I don't go to the overpriced theater for something I know isn't worth it.

Those are my thoughts going into it. Hope that helps.


----------



## Shin Ji Ka Mi (Dec 30, 2008)

Since I had never read, watched, or listened to any of the fans or anti-fans had to say about it,so  I can only say it was... well...

If I try to think in depth about that movie I can only tell you it feels like I watched a Smallville epsiode or one of those drama TV-Soups.

It was ok.


----------

