# So my girlfriend left me because I'm a furry today...



## clam (Nov 5, 2007)

I've always wanted to keep my furriness private, you know, I never felt I had to tell anyone. But yesterday, she saw me browsing these forums and some fursuiting website just before she left for work and she didn't say a word. I was actually relieved, I thought she just shrugged it off.

I come home for lunch today, like three hours ago, and half her stuff is gone. There's a note saying she's moving out and she'll pick up the rest of her stuff in a few days while I'm at work. The note says "I'm sorry" but nothing else.

So first thing, I call her at her mom's place. Her mom picks up and yells at me that I'm a freak and neither of them ever want to see me again. I hear my girlfriend in the background telling her to just hang up. Her mom tells me if I call again she'll call the cops and she hangs up. I don't even get to say more than 2 words?!?!?!?!?!

I don't get it, we were doing so well, how could this happen?!?!?! I didn't even think she'd even heard the term "furry" before. Or did she associate it with something else? But it's the only thing different that happened in the last like... month. How in the world did she come to the conclusion it was something worth destroying my life over?!?!?!

I'm still in shock, I don't think it's even started to sink in yet, all I know is she was my life for 3 years, and when it does, I don't know how I'm going to make it.

I just don't know what the hell. I can't even believe it, I don't even know why I'm writing this, what the hell am I supposed to do?


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## sateva9822 (Nov 5, 2007)

Get closure, send her a letter. Don't make it looks like its from you so the mother dosent get it.
Loss hurt, in time all will be right again. In the mean time why not go out with some friends, dwelling is no good.


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## Le_DÃ©mon_Sans_Visage (Nov 5, 2007)

Consider yourself lucky. She sounds like a wench.


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## MilkHermit (Nov 5, 2007)

Wow, that's...an extreme reaction, to say the least. -eyebrow- My boyfriend of 3 years recently saw my furry art but even though he's anti-furry he doesn't seem to care. I know I'd be heartbroken if he'd flipped at me.

But really, if she isn't mature enough to even _talk_ to you about it, maybe you should start to rethink the way you look at your relationship. She is obviously overblowing something and acting extremely childishly. I agree with Sateva, send her a letter or something explaining everything. And if she still refuses to talk to you, get over her. People like that aren't worth it.


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## phoxxz (Nov 5, 2007)

Holy crap dude. Thats purely ridiculous. Not only is that unbelievably rude to do to someone, regardless of why, its absurd.

I mean I figure if she can't handle the furry aspect of your life she should at least sit down and freaking TELL YOU. Or maybe ask questions about it so she can understand it fully. I cant even comprehend what was/is going through her mind. I know this is probably a sensitive subject to you right now but, she obviously doesn't seem to care enough about your feelings to do something so sudden. I mean if there was something about my significant other that I didn't know how to handle I wouldnt run to my mommy and just LEAVE. Maybe its a maturity issue? How old are both of you?

And the fact that you were together 3 years, which in todays standards is a freaking millennium, and she just dumps you because of a hobby. That my friend is bullshit.

I don't even know how you would go about reconciling. I suppose the letter idea is sufficient, cept she might just see its from you and toss it. Maybe a call to meet somewhere and discuss it. But no doubt is it going to be hard as hell to contact her if she is unwilling. I think she at least freakin' owes you an explanation. I mean I'm stunned at her reaction. And to have her mother say she's gonna call the cops? What the hell? You're a furry not a freaking stalker nazi!

Blasphemy, man.


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## Rilvor (Nov 5, 2007)

I'm not trying to sound like a jerk here, and I know what you are going through hurts a lot, but frankly, if she is willing to do that then she probably saved you a lot of trouble in the future, because someone who truly cares about you accepts the good with the bad, a soul is a package deal, you don't get to pick and choose.


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## Fox Glove (Nov 5, 2007)

I know it hurts dude, but like everyone else is saying, she's totally not worth it.
My boyfriend (well might be ex soon but nonetheless) is kind of anti-furry to the extent of calling them furfags sometimes, but even he didn't want to leave me for being furry... ;


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## pinkplushii (Nov 5, 2007)

That's kind of extreme, on her part. I know I tend to overreact on things, but just, wow. Maybe show her this article? 

I hope things get better for you. Overreactions over hobbies/lifestyles aren't fun.


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## Arbiter (Nov 5, 2007)

wow dude that is pretty extreme over being a furry, it just prvoes that she really isn't worth it. find someone better then her


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## karatzue (Nov 5, 2007)

Wow dude that sucks.  

But you know humans.  Whatcha-gonna do? *shrugs*


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## Forgotten_Fox (Nov 5, 2007)

Can i say anything? Anyway that is very sad, and 3 years is long, well you should calm down and only think positive things, i never had a mate so i wont know how it feels but i know how the loniless feels (CANT SPELL WELL) maybe in a few days you can try to talk to her and have a chat. know my words mean noting but tried, take care.


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## net-cat (Nov 5, 2007)

Wow. If she's willing to not only leave you but completely cut you off over something as minor as this, then it seems like she saved you a lot of trouble down the line.

If you do send a letter, keep it nondescript and as short as possible. (At least, get the important parts out at the beginning in as clear and concise a way as possible. Shorter makes it more likely that she'll see it and get the message. It's sort of a "you saw it you can unsee it" thing.)


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## Spix (Nov 5, 2007)

I'm sorry to hear about such a sad thing.

If sending her a letter doesn't work, how about email? She may not be willing to open it, but if you write your message in the subject line of the email or something to that effect, then she'll see it no matter what when she checks her email.

Other than that, I'm not sure what to say. There aren't many kind things to be heard from an online stranger that are actually comforting, are there. Just take it one day at a time from here, I suppose.


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## Wolf-Bone (Nov 5, 2007)

I'm not going to pull the same bullshit as everyone else here and say it's her problem, because the only problem is that you two are obviously incompatible, and it's neither exclusively her problem nor yours, it just is, and that's simple human mating dynamics. They are right in saying it saved you a lot of trouble further down the road, but in all fairness, by her finding out when she did she saved herself a lot of trouble too, and it's better for both parties that way when one discovers some irreconcilable difference about the other, gets the fuck out of dodge and never looks back as opposed to hanging on "trying to make things work". Can you honestly say you would've done it any differently if the shoe were on the other foot? Should you?


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## silvertwilight (Nov 5, 2007)

It sounds to me that she took something the wrong way, it seems a bit too dramatic to leave someone like that for an interest in anthropomorphic animals.
Maybe she watched CSI?
I would definitely call her If I were you, even if it doesn't change things at least do it for closure


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## Rostam The Grey (Nov 5, 2007)

Sounds to me like she was looking for an excuse. You don't just pick up and leave someone after 3 years over a fetish. I would give up and let her go, she obviously had planned on doing it for a while. I wouldn't be surprised if she already had another significant other. Or had her eyes on someone but couldn't or wouldn't act because she was already in a relationship.


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## Bokracroc (Nov 5, 2007)

She needs a large jug of Grow The Fuck Up (We're Not In Highschool Anymore flavour).
At least she made the effort to use paper and not SMS you.


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## Calorath (Nov 5, 2007)

Bravo
Sierra


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## Arshes Nei (Nov 5, 2007)

clam said:
			
		

> I've always wanted to keep my furriness private, you know, I never felt I had to tell anyone. But yesterday, she saw me browsing these forums and some fursuiting website just before she left for work and she didn't say a word. I was actually relieved, I thought she just shrugged it off.



Are you sure it was even due to the forum? Maybe you guys just weren't hitting it off. She she didn't say it was because you're a furry and you're already assuming that was the problem, when you've stated you don't know what it was about, *maybe* that is the crux of your problem.

Something happened that she didn't feel she could communicate to you anymore.

So I'm not gonna jump to the conclusion that it was due to the fact you were browsing the forum. She may have wanted to say something to you in the past and the fact you were browsing A forum, may have been a final straw for her in terms of communication.

You may have been called a freak not just because you were browsing this forum, but she may have felt it was taking time away from you guys.  I suspect multiple issues and it's kinda ironic how quickly people are to dismiss your girlfriend when both sides really haven't been represented.

I guess people get what they deserve when it comes to jumping to conclusions about someone they only know about 3rd party. So everything about furries is true if they think your girlfriend is a wench and whatever crap they're going to respond to about her? Yeah...good job guys.


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## Melo (Nov 5, 2007)

She sounds immature, and like Mr. Grey said, probably was looking for a reason to leave you.

I don't know about you, but I'm a total asshole when it comes to people and their ridiculous sensitivities. I'd send her a big teddy bear with a note reading "Thinking about you the teddy bear".


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## Bokracroc (Nov 5, 2007)

It's still immature to get up and leave only leaving a note saying "I'm sorry".

For what?
She stole some of your shirts when she left?
_*insert other ludicrously bizzare reason*_

You don't up and leave someone you've been with for 3 years with a 'I'm sorry' note and no reason why.


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## Arshes Nei (Nov 5, 2007)

Bokracroc said:
			
		

> It's still immature to get up and leave only leaving a note saying "I'm sorry".
> 
> For what?
> She stole some of your shirts when she left?
> ...



Maybe she was too upset to talk right then and there. It may be UPSETTING, but it's not necessarily immature. Sometimes people want a step back before they discuss things. She probably couldn't leave a note right then explaining her thoughts, so she just left an "I'm sorry" and until she is ready to talk she may say something. She may not say something at all, because there are people who will never accept an answer that's given to them.

Since I don't know what's going on it's hard to say that she was immature in this case.


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## lobosabio (Nov 5, 2007)

I would be somewhat surprised if she left you just because you're a furry.  However, if that is the reason, it was probably better that she left sooner rather than later.


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## Stratelier (Nov 5, 2007)

Far as it sounds to me, the "immature" part is not her getting up and leaving with only a note, but their reactions when you tried to call them.

But if she is so extremely anti-furdom, I suppose a breakup is better than a stand-up (as at a wedding) or worse, a divorce.


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## Azure (Nov 6, 2007)

She sounds a bit flaky if you ask me, rolling out with nary a word but I'm sorry, and it also sounds like she is rather beholden to her parents, and looks to them for approval.  While she is wrong for doing so, it seriously saved you alot of trouble.  And I'm gonna have to say that it's not either partys fault.  Some people just don't know how to take things, its the human dynamic of a relationship.  To say that you can work things out after such a drama filled exchange, is crazy.  Methinks there more than meets the eye here.


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## ADF (Nov 6, 2007)

Wow, she sounds like a drama queen. That is the type of reaction you would expect if she found out her boyfriend was a paedophile or a druggy that mixes with dangerous people. People pull stuff like that when they feel they must take desperate action to protect themselves, a last resort scenario. 

WTF puts an anthropomorphic animal enthusiast into that category?

There are so many different possibilities as to why this happened that I won't even begin to speculate. My only advice is to lay low until things cool down, then when the drama is a distant memory try to ask her why she pulled this. If she really is that anti fur then there isn't much you can do about it.


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## Bokracroc (Nov 6, 2007)

Arshes Nei said:
			
		

> Bokracroc said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



If she had the time to leave with half her stuff, she had a chance even to write something a bit more than 'I'm Sorry'.

I seriously doubt it's over Furry, there's some other problem here (prove me wrong if you wish. I'd love to see someone that shallow). But 'I'm Sorry' is on par with 'If you don't know why I'm angry, I'm not going to tell you'.


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## Stratelier (Nov 6, 2007)

> I seriously doubt it's over Furry, there's some other problem here


I wonder too.  Perhaps it was not because of furriness but because of FA (or something on FA, like Mature/Adult content) itself?


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## Zero_Point (Nov 7, 2007)

The relationship might have hit a few unresolved bumps before this incident. I don't think we're getting the whole story here.


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## codewolf (Nov 7, 2007)

if i may put in my 2 cents here:

if she left you over something like that, in my opinion i would forget about her, i know its a hard thing to do, and if my other half had left me when i told her i would have done the same thing, it may break your heart now, but if it had just stayed there bubbling under the surface you would have been in much deeper shite than you are now....


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## XNexusDragonX (Nov 7, 2007)

It could have been for many reasons.. if things have been building up recently, maybe she felt trapped, needed some time away and wasn't able to put it in words.

My brother has just split with his partner, after a 5 year relationship. She was fed up and miserable with things and didn't see anything new on the horizon. They drifted apart and soon it was discovered she was seeing someone else when she worked a second job doing bar work in a pub, not arriving home until the early hours. She slept with this other person and saw them on several occasions without him knowing. Two weeks later he was going to say it was over, but she came back one night and as he was in bed she said "Dan, its over".

Its a heartbreaker, but I never liked the bitch anyway. Whats also interesting is that I've been with my partner longer than he was with her, coming up to six years now - He never even knew becuase I had to keep it hidden.


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## Arshes Nei (Nov 7, 2007)

Bokracroc said:
			
		

> If she had the time to leave with half her stuff, she had a chance even to write something a bit more than 'I'm Sorry'.
> 
> I seriously doubt it's over Furry, there's some other problem here (prove me wrong if you wish. I'd love to see someone that shallow). But 'I'm Sorry' is on par with 'If you don't know why I'm angry, I'm not going to tell you'.



We aren't talking about "time to say something" it's whether or not she COULD compose something that described what she felt or be acceptable.

And no again since we don't know all of the story I am not going to assume the letter was her fault.

It amazes me how quick people are to vilify the girl and not know half the story.

When you're in an intimate relationship with someone you get to see a lot other people don't. 

I know a woman who "her husband is a nice guy" but they didn't know about his temper. They didn't know that she was being hit, struck and yelled at. It's not like she's running around showing the bruises.

I mean you hear about people who murder, and there is the family saying "well he was really a nice guy" except one day he took a sledgehammer to his girlfriend's head.

She could have found something that deeply upset her, she needs to leave a note over that? It's possible that something disgusted her deeply that she couldn't talk to him she certainly wasn't going to leave a note. If that's the case, why blame her?

This is not me accusing the OP but the fact no one is thinking bout other possibilities and are hung up on a note seems ridiculous. 

Or it could have been the flip side, maybe she found someone else and she couldn't leave a note or figure out the words to that would make it better.

In some cases no matter what is said is going to be unsatisfactory the fact of the matter is SHE LEFT HIM. How is "don't I get a say" or "why don't I get the whole story" going to change things? I'll state it again, SHE LEFT HIM. If she wants to be back with him she would have opened communication, and maybe not even at the time she left but later.

That's why breakups generally suck. There isn't some black and white happy ending solution and people get caught up in the minutia.


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## Aayatomi (Nov 7, 2007)

Sounds like another Garth Brooks country hit, that title there does.

Arshes Nei is correct, we are not getting the entire story. 

Because frankly, where I live, no one even knows what a furry IS unless they want to admit they're internet geeks. 

Lord knows the internet is just some kind of click now. *shrugs shoulder* 

But don't automatically assume that she left a note just for spite. I know what it's like to be treated horribly, or have feelings that aren't expressable, and then leave. 

Maybe she didn't want to talk to him because she knew that if she did it would hurt? Maybe she wanted her mother to hang up because she was picking at an already festering wound? 

Maybe her father was secretly banging her in the background and she was talking about a shirt? There's really no telling what the hell was going on.

I doubt that she left just because he was a furry. No relationship ends like that. 

That's like someone dumping someone else because they watch anime. 

Maybe it's because you spend all the time on the internet? Maybe she feels that you would rather cyber with complete strangers and talk to them rather than spend time with her? 

There isn't two sides of the story to really come up with a decent 'theory' of why it happened, so basically it's nothing but bunch of whining and nagging on something that no one knows about. 

And so what if she left only a note saying 'I'm sorry'. 

She could have just left nothing at all.


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## Emil (Nov 7, 2007)

Aayatomi said:
			
		

> Arshes Nei is correct, we are not getting the entire story.
> 
> Because frankly, where I live, no one even knows what a furry IS unless they want to admit they're internet geeks.
> 
> ...



Maybe she thinks furry = zoophile? Dunno, but I suppose that could explain the mothers reaction. 

But its more likely that there are other issues that go farther back in the relation ship and just didnt realize what was going on, or that there was even a problem.


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## Aayatomi (Nov 7, 2007)

EmilAnarchy said:
			
		

> Maybe she thinks furry = zoophile? Dunno, but I suppose that could explain the mothers reaction.
> 
> But its more likely that there are other issues that go farther back in the relation ship and just didnt realize what was going on, or that there was even a problem.



Ding ding ding! 

That was actually my thoughts exactly when I reread and he mentioned browsing fur-suit sites. 

If you don't know much about the furry fandom, then of course after looking at all the porn on fA and then see your significant other looking up fursuits you're going to assume they're most likely to be a zoophile. 

ESPECIALLY the elder generation (No offense to those that are elderly), that have NO IDEA what's going on, only that they're little girl's boyfriend was looking at animals in bikinis/having sex/cub art/whatever else there is and looking at furcostumes. 

(I don't mean to generalize the fur-community as such, but to any observer who doesn't know a lot about furries, or maybe only heard the bad things about us, they'd assume the same thing, and the reactions to such only prove my point).


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## Zero_Point (Nov 8, 2007)

> (I don't mean to generalize the fur-community as such, but to any observer who doesn't know a lot about furries, or maybe only heard the bad things about us, they'd assume the same thing, and the reactions to such only prove my point).



What generalization? According to the OP that's pretty much what happened. (wether or not actual pr0n was involved has yet to be confirmed, but meh)

Also, lol the spell checker doesn't highlight "pr0n".


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## clam (Nov 8, 2007)

Well that's it. It's officially over. 3 years just thrown away.

I'm sorry I didn't reply sooner. I don't feel like doing much right now. But I did read your comments, thanks.

I sent her an e-mail later on Monday, kept it short like it was suggested. And the next day I showed up early at her office before she did to leave her a note, but I didn't want to stay and risk scaring her even more, not knowing what the hell. And I don't dare go near her mother's house because she is a housesitting religious zealot and she means what she says (she scared me even when we got along). I took the day off from work, hoping she'd drop by to get the rest of her stuff that day, but she didn't.

So she finally called later that night. I tried to think of things to say beforehand, but that turned out to be a lot harder than I thought.

She told me she "accidentally" stumbled upon my personal files on our PC two days earlier, i.e., all-inclusive furry art collection, and she freaked out. I won't lie, there was a lot of stuff in there to raise some questions, but it's hardly the most extreme content. And after thinking about it, the timing made sense since I hadn't seen much of her over the weekend, seeing as she stayed at a friend's house. So what she saw on the screen before I first posted was just a confirmation of sorts, and me not saying anything only made it worse.

The first thing I asked her after that was how she got access to it, since we don't use the same windows profile and it's not exactly in "My Pictures". She said I had left it open. I won't lie, I tend to do that, but it's a stretch and, knowing her, she sounded guilty on that one. Still, it was going nowhere so we moved on.

Gathering from what she said after, she saw the "art", linked it to the fursuit material, thought about it for a total of ten seconds, and planned for exit for two days. I tried to tell her on the phone that it was just art and costumes and it had nothing to do with us, and I asked her how that could be the only thing, but that backfired and she accused me of keeping secrets from her for 3 years and lessening the issue and she said if it was her, she never would've kept something that personal to herself.

After that, I didn't know what to say. Because she's probably right. She did tell me everything about herself, things you just don't tell anyone. Obviously, I didn't do the same, even if I still don't understand how she could throw away everything over this when we were doing so well. We lived through a lot...

I told her some of that, and that I was sorry, but it didn't change her mind. She told me she had loved me and set a time to pick up her things, and that was it.

It just seems so surreal. Last week was absolutely awesome, like a dream. And now... I never thought for a second that it might be taken this way. I always figured I was doing everyone a favor by keeping it to myself.

Right now I'm thinking maybe we were just too different after all. Maybe you guys who said that were right. But I can't be thankful that this happened now rather than down the road because... after everything we did together, this _is_ down the road. But at the same time, I know she was right, and then I don't know what to think.

So... that's it. Sorry for posting hastily earlier, but I didn't know the whole story then either, and now I got a little more time to think about it, skipped work today, probably tomorrow. I didn't want to make a big LJ thing, it was really in-the-moment, but thanks for the comments anyway, I'll read them again, even if it seems utterly futile right now... But I'm sure as hell not motivated for anything furry right now, or anything at all, for that matter. I've never doubted myself this much in my life.

Edit: Oh, and somebody had asked: I'm 22 and she's 21.


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## Fox Glove (Nov 9, 2007)

tl;dr
gb2LJ


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## Leasara (Nov 9, 2007)

RoseTheSexKitten said:
			
		

> tl;dr
> gb2LJ



Once again, in English, please?


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## Janglur (Nov 9, 2007)

You lost nothing.

'nuff said.


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## Leasara (Nov 9, 2007)

Bah, I was really planning on writing up a few ways you two could get back together until I got to that last post.

Sounds like it's been pretty rough, but as the saying goes, "Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."  I'd say consider yourself lucky for all the good times you had.  Try not to lay blame for the ending of the relationship, since it sounds like you both acted with the best of intentions.  Try to learn from it.

Sorry if it sounds hokey, but it's what I've learned from personal expieriance.


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## kingkento (Nov 9, 2007)

Like others had said in reply to the first post from the OP here, it was extremely immature to just up and leave like that.

Im not going to say the better now than down the road shit, because as the OP said, it had been three years.

Most you can do is just get your life back together and move on.  If she wants to be so knee jerk about everything, then give her her belongings and be done with her.

And as others had said, I agree, there was most likely more to it than some fur shit on your computer.


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## Emberlyn (Nov 9, 2007)

I'm really sorry to hear that. I really think if she loved you and wanted to stay with you, you guys could have worked it out. I wouldn't blame it on furry. Sounds like it was a lot more deep than that, stemming from some other problems in your relationship. Basically, if it wasn't furry you were hiding, it would have been something else that would of had her react that way, in time.

That said, I had a boyfriend dump me over furry, at least it was a main issue. He made me feel VERY bad about it too, even though I kept it out in the open all the time, and he acted like he was going along with it, even though I never once pressured him to or expected him too. If you want to talk or share stories, feel free to message me privately =)


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## Solifugid (Nov 9, 2007)

Have you learned your lesson about being truthful about yourself with people you are supposedly dedicating yourself to? 3 years is a pretty big thing in a relationship, and if you're really into furry to the point that it's that much of you, you should have talked about it a long time ago. Maybe if you'd just trusted HER she wouldn't suddenly think you're a dog raping freak.

Regardless of the reason why she left, there's two sides and both people are at fault.


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## Kankaru (Nov 11, 2007)

If she can't accept it then you're better off without her. True love means accepting someone for who they are. Not leaving them because they like something that may be considered a little weird. 
There are so many other people out there who could be right for you. Someone who shares the same interests. Maybe even someone here on FurAffinty. You never know. Don't give up just because an old relationship didn't work out. I understand that it hurts, but just look around and you'll see there are plenty of possibilities. And once your ready someone right for you will show. they can be anyone anywhere. Maybe even someone you see every day. To quote a song by Reba: "Somebody in the next car; Somebody on the morning train; Somebody in the coffee shop, that you walk right by every day; Somebody that you look at, but never really see; Somewhere out there, is somebody..."


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## Horrorshow (Nov 11, 2007)

RoseTheSexKitten said:
			
		

> tl;dr
> gb2LJ



Wow, you're so cool.



But seriously, what I was going to say has already been said before. If she's gonna wig out over something that mundane (maybe that's the internet in me talking), then it really is for the best that she left. Then again, that's prolly just me.


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## hellpup (Nov 11, 2007)

Doesn't sound to me like it was much of a relationship to begin with. You were hiding something from her that is (apparently to you) an important part of who you are. I would have talked with you about it more but the fact that you were effectively lying to me for three years would have ended the relationship for me too.


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## Nidonemo (Nov 12, 2007)

Someone who loves you is someone who accepts you for who you are.


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## Icarus (Nov 12, 2007)

If she leaves on such a stupid excuse as a sexual fetish than she doesn't love you at all.
And If after three years of being with you, she sees one single flaw and just decides to leave then guess what?  She doesn't love you like you love her.

Ta-da
*goes and weeps for the future again, the thought of people leaving each other for stupid reasons...*


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## Fox Glove (Nov 12, 2007)

Horrorshow said:
			
		

> RoseTheSexKitten said:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Ya, rly, I know. D:
Well all joking aside, I wonder why this hasn't died yet, were all gonna say the same thing. I haven't really seen anyone that's given a different piece of advice. We're all just saying what MOST sane people would do here....unless of course, someone really batshit and dilluditly-sgjkhjgkdfg (dunno how to put that.) insane comes about.


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## Kobaruto (Nov 12, 2007)

I'm surprised you didn't bring this up to her when you started the relationship. I did the same with my girl, but she doesn't mind, because I told her first without hiding it. "Do you mind that I'm not like that, hun?" I really didn't at all.


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## Whirlaxis (Nov 12, 2007)

RoseTheSexKitten said:
			
		

> tl;dr
> gb2LJ



in normal terms, this mean:
to long; didn't read
go back to live journal


basicall, its i dont care, get out


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## MilkHermit (Nov 12, 2007)

-


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## TheSkunkCat (Nov 13, 2007)

Well, lemme run contrary to all the 'you're better off without her' -ing thats going on.

As someone who has had loves and lost them, I can imagine its quite a tough time for you. Quite regardless of wether or not she was 'right' for you.

Thing is, people don't choose who they love, and who they love is in fact very rarely perfect for them. But thats not what matters! You invest in these people, and you connect emotionally to them. And thus if they leave, of course it hurts.

Me, I wish you the best and I hope you won't let it get to you to much. But I can totally understand if you're gonna be bummed or depressed for a while, because thats a perfectly normal reaction.

If you want her back, I'd also say go for it. Call again and again till you can talk it out. Will it work out? Perhaps not. But as they say in my country. 'If you don't shoot, you're sure you won't hit.'


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## Nicona Shadowwolf (Nov 20, 2007)

I know it has got to hurt, loosing someone in that way does.  You have gotten responses anywhere from "you are better off without her" to "try and get her back if you want."  Who is right?  No one can tell for certain.  IMHO the way she left you shows a great deal about her.  I think she acted in a very rash and immature manner.  Although it has been suggested that she may have left you for other reasons, from what you wrote in your OP it sounds like the furry issue was at the forefront.You are going to have to ask yourself some serious questions.

Do you feel like this relationship is worth trying to save?

Do you think there is a possibility of her even giving you a chance of explaining yourself (or her mother for that fact)?  Unfortunately, Her mother will probably play a big part of whatever she decides.

Do you think you will be better off without her?

One very important one.  If she left you in the manner you described because of your fuuriness, what else could happen that would cause her to have the same reaction?  Would she stick by you through the thick and thin of things or would she leave you in a heartbeat again if the times started turning bad?

I just recently realized that I was a furry because I just found out what a furry was.  I have been a furry most of my life, just couldn't put a name to it.  Was I worried about bringing it up to my mate after I realized?  A little.  But I knew if she didn't agree we could talk through it (luckily she found out that she was furry too).  Relationships need understanding and comminucation to work.  Apparently these qualities run a little thin for your girlfriend.

In the end you will have to decide what is best for you.  I know it hurts right now but that hurt will fade in time.  Good luck.


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## Xipoid (Nov 20, 2007)

clam said:
			
		

> she accused me of keeping secrets from her for 3 years and lessening the issue and she said if it was her, she never would've kept something that personal to herself.
> 
> After that, I didn't know what to say. *Because she's probably right. She did tell me everything about herself, things you just don't tell anyone. Obviously, I didn't do the same, even if I still don't understand how she could throw away everything over this when we were doing so well. We lived through a lot*...
> 
> I told her some of that, and that I was sorry, but it didn't change her mind. She told me she had loved me and set a time to pick up her things, and that was it.



*Guilt Trip.*
She was hurt you kept secrets from her for 3 years, but I agree that her reaction was completely unfounded given her explanation.


If she _really_ wanted a relationship, she would have forgiven your "secret" and tried to work it out with you. That's what you are supposed to do. Take the good with the bad and the pretty with the ugly, not fly off the handle when you find out something as insignificant as furry artwork and then form it into a scapegoat.


Excuse me if I sound harsh, but her actions reflect a much different view than her words.


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