# Retarded character/enemy design.



## Tycho (Aug 16, 2009)

I'm talking about video games where you'd see a character and say "What the fuck possessed the game designers to make him/her/it look like that, it's fucking retarded".  From silly hats to goofy-looking weapons to idiotically-designed garments in general.

Lulu from Final Fantasy X. Belt fetish much? Imagine how much that weighs.

Sun Quan from Dynasty Warriors (DW5 is where I first saw this weird hat).  What the hell? Was that hat actually ancient Chinese fashion?

And this works HOW?


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## CryoScales (Aug 16, 2009)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tifa_Lockheart

The character looks like a prostitute and acts like a damsel in distress. If they wanted an M rating I guarantee they would have had Tifa scream "Let me suck your cock" to Cloud. 

Honestly. There are a LOT of fanfics devoted to Tifa that revolve around sex. Well not as much as the massive Cloud/Sephiroth ones.

When I look for a good female character concept. I look at Lara Croft. Mostly because she is physically attractive, yet at the same time she wouldn't hesitate to blow your fucking head off with one of her pistols.


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## Tycho (Aug 16, 2009)

Tifa looks like a Japanese Lara Croft, somewhat, except for those stupid-looking elbow pad/glove/vambrace things and those oversized hiking boots she wears.

I'd like to know where Lara was toting all that ammo she picked up.  Her backpack was never very big IIRC, and neither were her hip and belt packs.


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## CryoScales (Aug 16, 2009)

Tycho said:


> I'd like to know where Lara was toting all that ammo she picked up.  Her backpack was never very big IIRC, and neither were her hip and belt packs.



I think this is another question you have to answer with Hammerspace

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hammerspace

Basically her backpack acts like a magic satchel to another dimension where she can store limitless amounts of equipment

In games like Legend and Anniversary they make Lara's arsenal far more limited (well Anniversary has Tomb Raider 1's arsenal). With Legend you have your pistols at default and at infinite ammo. But you can pick up weapons from enemies like an M16 or a shotgun. The catch being you can only pick one at a time


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## Aden (Aug 16, 2009)

CryoScales said:


> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tifa_Lockheart



ohai what are proportions



Tycho said:


> And this works HOW?



Believe it or not, that concept has a history.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pistol_sword

But Square Enix's designs never have to _work_, silly. They _look cool_. JEEZ.


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## CryoScales (Aug 16, 2009)

Aden said:


> Believe it or not, that concept has a history.
> 
> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pistol_sword
> 
> But Square Enix's designs never have to _work_, silly. They _look cool_. JEEZ.



A gunblade looks cool? I found it reminds me of a shark with a lazer attatched to it's head. Those are two cool things that do NOT go together.


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## Attaman (Aug 16, 2009)




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## CryoScales (Aug 16, 2009)

My god... and I thought the Bustersword was overkill


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## Aden (Aug 16, 2009)

CryoScales said:


> A gunblade looks cool?



It's gotta look cool to someone, I guess. Else they would've designed it differently.



> I found it reminds me of a shark with a lazer attatched to it's head. Those are two cool things that do NOT go together.



Sacrilege!


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## Attaman (Aug 16, 2009)

Also, on the topic of Gun-[x] combinations: May I present to you the gun-silverware and the gun-key.


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## Tycho (Aug 16, 2009)

@ Attaman's pic: What in buggery fuck is that thing supposed to do?


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## CryoScales (Aug 16, 2009)

Tycho said:


> @ Attaman's pic: What in buggery fuck is that thing supposed to do?



I think your supposed to use your imagination


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## Koray (Aug 16, 2009)

Vivi.... what?!?!


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## CryoScales (Aug 16, 2009)

DevianFur said:


> Vivi.... what?!?!



Yeah they butchered Vivi in Kingdom Hearts. I always enjoyed Vivi's concept in IX way more. As it was far more simple and in character. Without having a sorting hat with a zipper.

The sad thing is. More people have probably seen Vivi in Kingdom Hearts then in IX


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## ElizabethAlexandraMary (Aug 16, 2009)

The gunsword is actually a good idea, but is so poorly designed it makes me raeg.
Srsly. Use a bayonet or something.


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## CryoScales (Aug 16, 2009)

FrancisBlack said:


> The gunsword is actually a good idea



Correction: It's an extremely unnecessary idea. A gun and a sword are two completely different weapons that DO NOT go together AT ALL. A bayonet or better yet, a knife. Are actually good ideas


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## Shark_the_raptor (Aug 16, 2009)

FrancisBlack said:


> The gunsword is actually a good idea, but is so poorly designed it makes me raeg.
> Srsly. Use a bayonet or something.



Cervantes from Soul Calibur comes to mind.  Iirc he has a gunsword of sorts.

Cervantes


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## TehSean (Aug 16, 2009)

Tycho said:


> Sun Quan from Dynasty Warriors (DW5 is where I first saw this weird hat).  What the hell? Was that hat actually ancient Chinese fashion?
> [/url]



...Yes. 


http://farm1.static.flickr.com/54/141531502_c95cbae298.jpg

http://matkailen.com/Funny1.jpg

The only thing not authentic about it is that their hats never fall off in the game.... Everything else is not an affront to history at all. Nothing.


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## Wildside (Aug 16, 2009)

http://www.videogamesblogger.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/05/voldo-in-soul-calibur-4.jpg 

How did Voldo from SC NOT get mentioned? He's a bondage whore, and he's OLD.

Look at your own risk. |:


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## Imperial Impact (Aug 16, 2009)

DEM BONES.


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## SirRob (Aug 16, 2009)




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## Digitalpotato (Aug 16, 2009)

Sorry. no matter what. Tingle > All. That design is the form of Satan that most people see when they go to hell.


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## Wolf-Bone (Aug 17, 2009)

Silent Hill 4: Eileen alone makes that game _way_ more of a pain in the ass than it has to be. Seriously. A character with their arm in a sling but who will still try to attack enemies, which usually results in them taking damage. Oh, and she has a bad leg and wears high heels too, so you have to slow down so she can catch up. And she can't climb ladders with her bad arm or jump down holes, so she basically serves as a puzzle to most levels since you gotta figure out how to get to the end of the level with her accompanying you so you can actually leave.

Designing characters to fare worse than others in certain situations, yeah, most survival horror games have that in spades. But designing a character to intentionally hinder the character you're playing as, and even incorporating that purpose into their design is a prime example of how trying to get away with doing a half-assed job actually takes more effort than doing it right.


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## Foxstar (Aug 17, 2009)

SirRob said:


>



Someone misses the point of Tingle. He's a jab at anime/manga otaku, being a fairy otaku himself.


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## Skittle (Aug 17, 2009)

Wildside said:


> http://www.videogamesblogger.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/05/voldo-in-soul-calibur-4.jpg
> 
> How did Voldo from SC NOT get mentioned? He's a bondage whore, and he's OLD.
> 
> Look at your own risk. |:


Fuck you. Voldo is the SHIT! So is Zappa from Guilty Gear.


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## Beastcub (Aug 17, 2009)

need i say more?


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## Tycho (Aug 17, 2009)

That is hideous.


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## the grey fox (Aug 17, 2009)

that is awesome.


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## Silverstreak (Aug 17, 2009)

Link's expression says it all.


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## Tycho (Aug 17, 2009)

Silverstreak said:


> Link's expression says it all.



He refuses to even touch it.


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## Liam (Aug 17, 2009)

That thing was the scariest looking thing in the game.


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## TwilightV (Aug 18, 2009)

http://www.zeldawiki.org/Barkle

^ Satan's Little Helper >:3

But seriously, worst is:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gordon_Freeman

It screams generic.


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