# My writing. Read? :D



## Gaybriel (Sep 18, 2009)

Yeaaaaaah so I currently have a few stories on my FA. They're all about Gabriel, and they're all abstract, and they all go alongside a song. I never was good at that normal writing stuff.

So yeah, this first story is called 'reflection.' I wrote it back when I first came to terms of being a furry, and during the initial OMGWUT phase, I wrote this to get me through it.

Read it here

Be as critical as you like. I don't mind. You took the time to read it, so I'm happy either way.

Enjoy.


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## Gaybriel (Sep 19, 2009)

EDIT: Added the link in, My baaaaad. >_>


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## Atrak (Sep 19, 2009)

Heh heh. Glad you caught that  .


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## Gaybriel (Sep 19, 2009)

atrakaj said:


> Heh heh. Glad you caught that  .



Mya... x3


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## M. LeRenard (Sep 22, 2009)

You know you can always bump a thread if you think it needs attention.  As in, don't start a new one on the same topic.
I would recommend you delete your other thread.


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## Gaybriel (Sep 22, 2009)

OK, I deleted the old thread.

Nooooow will you read it?


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## M. LeRenard (Sep 22, 2009)

Read it.
I dunno'.  I'm sure it was great for you to write it, but I never get much from abstract personal pieces like that, because I didn't go through the weird emotions that prompted it.  As such, this, to me, was just a funny way of doing a character description.
It was written pretty well, with the odd format and the song lyrics woven in there.  I think there are better ways to get across specific physical details (eye color and such things) than having the character look in the mirror, but it's not a sin to do so.  I think the language about the poking of holes (or whatever it was) was unclear; I read it twice and didn't pick up your meaning.  Other than that, I don't have much to say.  I'm not really your appropriate audience, I don't think.


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## Atrak (Oct 1, 2009)

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..............................

*cricket* *cricket*

.........................................................................................

Okay. I'm a pretty deep person, I believe, so I think I can see most of what you mean. However, I don't feel insecure about myself, so it's hard for me completely understand...still, though, I get where you're coming from. I like how the ending shows a little hope gleaming through. I don't like totally dark and emo writing, but when you show that you are able and willing to overcome the darkness, that makes it good  .


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## Gaybriel (Oct 1, 2009)

atrakaj said:


> Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..............................
> 
> *cricket* *cricket*
> 
> ...



It was a process for me. 

I'm not going to lie, it was really scary looking in the mirror and knowing that I'd never see myself the same way. Maybe not in the same context as Gabriel - I still saw a human. But I also saw myself on a completely new plain. It took a while for me to accept it.

I don't think I really meant to get this critiqued... it's not really writing you can give feedback towards. I don't know how to write properly anymore. 

I lost my touch.


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## Atrak (Oct 1, 2009)

Well, the only way to get it back is by writing  . (By the way, you picked the wrong word. It's plane, not plain  .)


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## Gaybriel (Oct 2, 2009)

atrakaj said:


> Well, the only way to get it back is by writing  . (By the way, you picked the wrong word. It's plane, not plain  .)



See what I mean? Hopeless! X3


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## M. LeRenard (Oct 2, 2009)

Well, what do you mean by 'write properly'?  Since it's a creative art form, there's no 'proper' way to do it.  Just keep working toward something you like to read, is all you need to do.  Obviously there are nuances in that process (one would hope you find points of dissatisfaction that you can fix, for example), but you'll find that that's the most satisfying thing you can do.
And hey, if you need a break, take a break.  Some day it will come calling again.


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## Atrak (Oct 2, 2009)

Okay, look. Open WordPad. Minimize everything else. Play some music, if you want. Think about your character, Gabriel. Think about what he does when he wakes up. Start typing. Type out his whole day. Waking up, eating breakfast (or skipping it), going to school, hanging with friends, etc. Keep typing until your last words are Gabriel's last thoughts as he falls asleep that night. Don't plan it out. Don't think about what's going to happen in five minutes. Just free type. Just let the words flow from your mind to your fingers. Let them make the words on the screen.
Don't worry about the little grammar things. Many people make the same mistakes. That's what people like me are for  . We will proofread, if necessary. You can always post it in Word later and spell-check. But type it out in WordPad. No distractions  .


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## GraemeLion (Oct 2, 2009)

Screw notepad.  If you have windows, look for something called "Q10".  

Run THAT.  I guarantee you, nothing else will distract you on that PC.


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## Atrak (Oct 2, 2009)

Q10 looks pretty awesome. I'll give it a try and see if it eliminates the problem with apostrophes and quotes on here.


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## Gaybriel (Oct 2, 2009)

atrakaj said:


> Okay, look. Open WordPad. Minimize everything else. Play some music, if you want. Think about your character, Gabriel. Think about what he does when he wakes up. Start typing. Type out his whole day. Waking up, eating breakfast (or skipping it), going to school, hanging with friends, etc. Keep typing until your last words are Gabriel's last thoughts as he falls asleep that night. Don't plan it out. Don't think about what's going to happen in five minutes. Just free type. Just let the words flow from your mind to your fingers. Let them make the words on the screen.
> Don't worry about the little grammar things. Many people make the same mistakes. That's what people like me are for  . We will proofread, if necessary. You can always post it in Word later and spell-check. But type it out in WordPad. No distractions  .



That's what I did for this piece. I haven't done it in forever, I simply haven't had the time. But I will.

Whether it's in this style, or a different one, I'm not sure. But we'll see.


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## Volpino (Oct 2, 2009)

Since the whole thing is an expression of yourself, there's not much that can be wrong with it. You have a nice little mood piece and a good reference for times when you're writing about Gaybriel and aren't sure what direction you might go.

Writing stories might be a good way to express some of that, but I think it looks like a removed second medium for you. You obviously have an easier time expressing yourself in song and while there's nothing that says you have to limit yourself to that medium, there's also nothing that says you can't express yourself infinitely in song.


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## Atrak (Oct 2, 2009)

I agree with vulpino on that. For most people, having two or three mediums is more aesthetically pleasing. Think about teachers you've had. Ones that will just stand in front and give a lecture all day, or that just show notes on a powerpoint for you to copy...those are boring. But if a teacher combines those, or even adds in a demonstration, then it becomes interesting, because you have a choice of what to focus on. That is why the best presentators not only get up in front and talk, but also have some kind of visual aid, quite often an interactive one!
So basically what I am saying is: yes  . If you wrote that without the song, it would have been okay. If you had done it all in song, it would have been okay. But doing it in *both*, now it's good  .


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