# Opinion of this comic I have been working and stuff



## kitsunekotaro (Sep 30, 2010)

So hey people, I have been working on a comic, for some time now, and well I wanted to know what do you think of it, is it going well, is it bad, does it suck

You ahte the caracters, etc, etc, etc

Please, i would like to know opinions, as the comic itself is in its early steps.
(It doesnt have a title yet <.<)


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## Mangasama (Sep 30, 2010)

Interesting style and plotting.


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## Nyloc (Sep 30, 2010)

"Play and Porn" made me chuckle


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## Zydala (Sep 30, 2010)

I just skimmed through it, and the two things that I see that could immediately improve it by 10% or more - more dynamic paneling, and work on those speech bubbles. The text is all right, but spacing could be better, and it's just a taaaad off-center in some of the circles. Make the text maybe just a tad smaller or a little less bold. Do those things and you'll be on your way to something great


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## Smelge (Sep 30, 2010)

I would say the direction of the strip is a problem. The eyes naturally read left to right. Going down just seems to load too much info on you at once, as you are taking in the whole image from top to bottom, rather than drifting sideways into the frame. Makes it aesthetically more pleasing.


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## Zydala (Sep 30, 2010)

Smelge said:


> I would say the direction of the strip is a problem. The eyes naturally read left to right. Going down just seems to load too much info on you at once, as you are taking in the whole image from top to bottom, rather than drifting sideways into the frame. Makes it aesthetically more pleasing.


 
I agree! I also think that it looks like if the panels were placed on pages, they could be used a lot more dynamically - there's a lot you can do, and I can sort of see there's a lot you WANT to put into those panels. Don't limit yourself with a layout - the layout should work for YOU, not the other way around :]


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## kitsunekotaro (Sep 30, 2010)

Mangasama: Heh, thanks for the support, and for the watch on my page n.n

Nyloc:I tried, to make that joke to work, I am glad you foiund it funny, I had my doubts about it.

Zydala:The panelings are like that because thats the style its using, a 4-koma kind of comic, not a newspaper comic strip, why, because I usually do comic strips like comics, and I am kinda bored of that kind of paneling, so tryng to do this one. For the not so bold letter, I will try to do that for the next batch of stories, and center well (but i am somewhat lazy with the bubbles), anyway thanks for the comment and feedback.

Smeldge:Not realle, left to right or right to left, up and down, comics, are visually pleasing, if you read them and practice reading them, for some, it is easier to see a specific layout, but that doesnt mean its ok to do so, an up and down layout (centred) give you some space, and less cramp,  tis a difficult style to master, but I am tryng...and failing sometimes xD


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## Jw (Sep 30, 2010)

I'll vote for the horizontal layout-- it usually flows easier. Instead, I have to scroll down partway thought the comic, which can be confusing. So yeah, pretty much stealing what others said.

If you seem to want to break some barriers, might as well make it happen with the comic strip, too. Try breaking the "Fourth wall"  by having your comics interact with the other, touching panels. It can be humorous if you pull it off correctly. 

They're pretty enjoyable. A little off-beat, but that's their charm in the long run. At first I was kind of unimpressed, but after checking out the others  I changed my mind. Think of ways to force people to see multiple comics at cone time, and you'll do well. 

Pacing needs a little work-- try experimenting with italics, commas, ellipses(...), dashes (--), or changing the font size to give the dialog a little more natural voice. Making the cell frames irregular can help lead the viewer into the next frame, giving a rapid-fire feel to it. Steady box lines tend to slow down the progress. 

Dang, I hope some of that made some sense.


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## kitsunekotaro (Sep 30, 2010)

Yus it made some sense, dont worry, and the  change of flow of the font, I will try with this next bash, thanks... like adding ".." but dunno what are dashes for XD; I tried playing with the box in one, where the fox is pushing the cat, but its difficult; and I am glad that you enjoyed.


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## Smelge (Sep 30, 2010)

kitsunekotaro said:


> Smeldge:Not realle, left to right or right to left, up and down, comics, are visually pleasing, if you read them and practice reading them, for some, it is easier to see a specific layout, but that doesnt mean its ok to do so, an up and down layout (centred) give you some space, and less cramp,  tis a difficult style to master, but I am tryng...and failing sometimes xD


 
The problem is "if you practice reading them". Your average netgoer is a lazy fucker. If it's hard to read, or makes them have to work, they'll go and look at something else instead. For a new comic, you need accessibility. Now, the layout you have is only really popular in Japan, where I know they have vertical strips like that. Some also read from right to left. That's ok for a Japanese comic, as it fits with how they read. If I recall, certain types of Japanese are read vertical. So the format works for them as they've grown up with that format.

However, you've done yours in English, so you are obviously after the English-reading demographic, and unfortunately for you, that means horizontal strips, left to right.


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## Zydala (Sep 30, 2010)

Japanese read vertically up to down and then right to left. So it makes sense to make yon-komas (4koma). Yon-komas do not make sense to the average western reader, unless they make themselves accustomed to it, and read manga a lot.

The only reason I said that a different layout would work better is because what you're trying to fit into the panels isn't the usual yon-koma style. they're usually composed of chibi people and no backgrounds or dyamic poses, because they don't fit well with the small boxed-in-ness of the panels. By the way, this was from looking very quickly at the pieces, and not reading the items - I actually had no clue it was a yon-koma until I sat down with it and read the punchlines. The writing is very much fitted for a 4-panel style, so maybe try simplifying what's in the panels and it'll read just a bit easier.

sorry for the confusion!


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## kitsunekotaro (Sep 30, 2010)

n.n, yeah its a yon koma, but with more movement, I know the layout of the forum, make one think that its a continun, but on a webpage, it fits exactly, so you dont have to go scrolling down ... and yeah some puns need to work better, but I fail .

and for the actiosn and stuff, not all 4-koma are just talking heads, well lucky star is and sometimes sketchbook, but dunno things like gundam-san, and others, try to do more dinamycs panesl on a 4-koma (which is difficult to do, because sometime the pun is lost), but the thing is I am still experimenting n.n


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## Smelge (Oct 1, 2010)

The thing is, that this type of layout doesn't really work for western audiences. It may be a stylistic choice, or personal preference, but when you get right down to it, the reason you are making and putting stuff online is for people to read it, and unfortunately, the style/layout means people will have to work at it, and as mentioned before, people are lazy, so encountering this kind of layout is more likely to drive people away.

Ignoring the whole working at reading thing as well, unless you are doing a full-page comic, it should fit onto a single monitor without needing to scroll. Scrolling takes the viewers attention away or makes it irritating. Witha  full-page, it is understandable. For a 4-panel gagstrip it is just bad. Doing it horizontal would fit it all onto a standard monitor.

Style and preference aside, there are still ways you can play with layout on a horizontal axis to get away from standard conventional framing. Just be creative.


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## Aegis (Oct 1, 2010)

I liked it better when it was b&w.
And I thought that guy was a chick, thanks for putting that out. D:


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## Jw (Oct 1, 2010)

kitsunekotaro said:


> Yus it made some sense, dont worry, and the  change of flow of the font, I will try with this next bash, thanks... like adding ".." but dunno what are dashes for XD; I tried playing with the box in one, where the fox is pushing the cat, but its difficult; and I am glad that you enjoyed.


 
You can use dashes tp break off in the middle of a word, like somebody is interrupting.

"Hey, how's it going, I haven't see--"
"Cut the crap. I know what you're trying to do--"
"Ahaha, you're on to me. I'm trying to destroy you by being polite"


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## ElizabethAlexandraMary (Oct 1, 2010)

Smelge said:


> I would say the direction of the strip is a problem. The eyes naturally read left to right. Going down just seems to load too much info on you at once, as you are taking in the whole image from top to bottom, rather than drifting sideways into the frame. Makes it aesthetically more pleasing.


 
Depends how. If the tiles are well spaced, it can give very interesting results. Take the nine planets strips, for example.


As for the comic in general, the art style is pretty enjoyable. The speech bubbles are a bit off-putting, though. They tend to conflict too much with the thin lines you used.
If you're going for a simple, clean, sketchy look, I'd advise trying to draw the bubbles yourself with the same brushes you used for the lineart, and filling them with clean, handwritten text instead of a dull font, unless your handwriting is really terrible. (I also spot a few typos here and there (DANM) as well as somewhat lacking punctuation (doesnt) which seems to be a pretty common mistake with _typed out_ webcomic dialog, but meh, that's pretty minor at this point.)
Also aaaa I'm really crazy for backgrounds and those fit pretty well.


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## Smelge (Oct 1, 2010)

Actually, one thing that sort of jars a little...

Human Resources?


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## Kit H. Ruppell (Oct 1, 2010)

Your style reminds me a little of a user called NinjaHusky. For some reason I love the face in the second-to-last panel in "Professional View".


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## kitsunekotaro (Oct 1, 2010)

Aegis: OK, noted the black & white, and its easier to do, as I dont have to sit down and fill or color with the brush urk

Jwmcd: OK, now I get it , thanks

Francis Black: I will try to do something with those bubbles, and the font, well I am still changing some things on the comic, the fonts will be still computer done, cuz my hand writting sucks, and my syntaxis too <.< >.>.

Smeldge: Its human resources xD, its weird I know, but i was weirder with my ohter ideas for his job (In spanish it sound better =) ).

Kite: Thanks for the word n.n glad you liked, dunno who is NinjaHusky though xD


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Ok applied some of yours suggestions, lets see how it goes like this... dum dum duuuum


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## Kit H. Ruppell (Oct 1, 2010)

kitsunekotaro said:


> Kite: Thanks for the word n.n glad you liked, dunno who is NinjaHusky though xD


Just look him up on the mainsite? He's neither a ninja nor a husky, but that is his username lol


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## Aegis (Oct 1, 2010)

Edit: I messed up who was who.
Ignore this post.


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## Zydala (Oct 1, 2010)

kitsunekotaro said:


> Ok applied some of yours suggestions, lets see how it goes like this... dum dum duuuum


 
I think it definitely looks better - the lettering is better and stuff. panels are a bit better too. The joke is hard for me to understand? But it sounds like english isn't your first language so that just might be why. :]


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## Jw (Oct 1, 2010)

kitsunekotaro said:


> Smeldge: Its human resources xD, its weird I know, but i was weirder with my ohter ideas for his job (In spanish it sound better =) ).


 
Â¿Habla Ud. espaÃ±ol?


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## kitsunekotaro (Oct 1, 2010)

zydala:Yeah, the joke here is implicit, and its only to help understand character behavior better, not a LOL strip, just maybe a chucke...something u.u.... and eyah it kinda look better, thanks...and for the language, I have an advisor for it, but sadly this time, he was offline, so he couldnt check it up...
jwmcd:Sep, hablo espaÃ±ol, es mi lengua nativa


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## Jw (Oct 1, 2010)

kitsunekotaro said:


> jwmcd:Sep, hablo espaÃ±ol, es mi lengua nativa


 
Que divertido-- podemos hablarnos en espanol y nadie puede entendernos aqui, jaja.


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## Zydala (Oct 1, 2010)

oh I see! yon-koma's aren't very good at developing characters and stuff - it's more like, three panels to set up the scene, then the fourth one is the punchline! That's probably why I was confused. If you want something to set up characters, you'll need something more than four panels. :]


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## kitsunekotaro (Oct 1, 2010)

jwmcd2: Jajajaj seeee, podemos hablar en codigo, nadie nunca se enterara...pero..de que hablamos XD

ZYdala: Yeah, this is a story driven 4-koma with punchline each strip, kinda difficult to do, but I pulled somehow on another comic of mine (regular comic strip) http://www.drunkduck.com/Will_And_Tokyo/ and well, in that it was a character drvien story with a punchline every strip (some wasnt funny at all), but yeah xD


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