# How to Buy a Collar without looking like a Derp



## ArticSkyWolf (Jun 18, 2012)

You  can pretty much get collars anywhere. It depends on what you want, if  you want an inexpensive snap-on nylon collar, you can get those for like  $3 at Wal-Mart, there is where no one will bother you. In Wal-Mart,  there's a very limited options, all you get is usually nylon snap-on  collars and maybe one leather one with studded jems that is too large  for your neck (but perfect if you have a fursuit/head).

 In  general, I would recommend getting a leather collar with buckles, you  can get whatever colour you want with whatever on it, studs, spikes,  D-Rings, etc. Or a nylon collar with buckles, if you don't want to kill  the leather collar with your sweat in the summer. You can go to pet  stuff sites all over the interwebs and fine something you like, or make a  custom one from Collar Factory or other people.

 Now after you  have a general idea of what you want, you should probably measure your  neck, let's say your neck size is 16 inches, in general you would want  to buy a collar that will fit a 16-inch neck, but collar makers of all  kinds mix up the sizes all the time. 16-inches on the label can mean  that the tightest this collar can be is 16-inches or the middle hole is  16-inches or the least tight is 16-inches, so just remember to check  before you actually buy it, and check the refund/return policy, all it  really takes is you to try it on for a few seconds to see if it fits.

 The  best case scenario is that the tightest or the second tightest hole is  where it's comfy, where it's the perfect fit and will last you forever,  your neck probably won't grow or get larger any time soon and you can  always adjust the collar. My most recent collar purchase is a black,  leather collar with two D-Rings (one on the center and one near the  buckle), it's 16-inches and it fit's fine on the tightest hole but I  wear it on the second tightest because it feels better, and I can move  it around my neck easier. This collar will probably last me forever.

 Now  how to actually buy it, just go to any pet shop store, the large ones  won't bother you unless you are in front of the collar section for like  half an hour, or at the counter when you pay. The smaller shops probably  have nothing else to do so they will ask you if they can help you, just  say you know what you are looking for and they will pretty much leave  you alone. Now you have reached the collar section, and you see a ton of  collars ranging from many colours, sizes and so on. Just take your time  and remember your criteria: Neck size, leather or nylon, bucked or  whatever, thickness, wideness, features, etc. Feel free to pick up the  collar and feel the material and ALWAYS inspect the entire collar, if  something is broken, missing, etc., get the newer one, etc.

 For  thickness, it really doesn't matter, a thick one (one that is ticker  than a few coins) doesn't really change anything, it's just stiffer (at  first). For the wideness, most leather ones are smaller than an inch, my  latest collar isn't even an inch, it's like 1.8cm. A wider one would  just cover your neck more and keep more of the heat (like a scarf). 

 Now  for features, since it's a dog collar, it will have at least one  D-Ring, this is used to put on tags, and of course, leashes, if the collar has two it's fine, it's most likely one on the center  of the collar and one near the buckle. My latest collar has two, no  problem really. These collars won't have any more than 2 but will have  at least one (unless it's a fashion one). You can go get yourself a  leash if you want, I have one. Any other feature is up to you such as bells, studded stuff, spikes,  lights, jewels, etc., get whatever you want. You can get tags and other  stuff too.

 Pretty much after you've chosen your collar (you can  get two if you want), just go and pay for it. If the cashier asks you  about your dog, just say it's a husky or something, just don't stand  there mumbling what your own dogs breed is. Also, don't say a small dog  like a wiener dog, it would look like you are buying a collar that's  huge. After than, bam, you have your collar, now go home or to a  washroom or something and actually try it on to see if it's well  fitting. If yes, congrats! You now have a collar! If not, lol whoops, go  exchange for a smaller/larger one. 

 In terms of tightness, it  just depends on how you like it, I like it tight-ish on my neck, others  like it to look you can just take it off my lifting it off your neck  through your head. Just don't make it too tight, if you can put two  fingers through the collar (between your neck and the collar) easily  without any problems, it's probably fine. 

 And there you have it, a guide on buying a collar without looking like a total derp made in like minutes!

 I hope this helps you!

 Any questions? Feel free to ask them!

(Made guide because a few were asking this question and stuff)

An amazing TL;DR by Smelge:

1 - Go in to shop
2 - Find collar you like
3 - Take collar to checkout
4 - Hand money to assistant
5 - Receive change
6 - Go home

I only went into detail because some might want it, but it's not rocket science.


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## Smelge (Jun 18, 2012)

Sorry, is this really a "How To" for buying a fucking dog collar?

1 - Go in to shop
2 - Find collar you like
3 - Take collar to checkout
4 - Hand money to assistant
5 - Receive change
6 - Go home

There you go. 2500 words less than your effort.


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## I Am That Is (Jun 18, 2012)

Hate to sound like an ass, but I have to agree with Smelge. Things like this dont really need a guide. It all depends on how lazy someone is, what their budget is, location, and interest. 
Thanks for the effort though.


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## Yago (Jun 18, 2012)

The other thing that I don't get, is why not just try it on in the fucking store.

It's not like it matters what the fuck people think, anyways, and if you're smart enough to do it when no one is staring at you or something, it won't matter.

They won't stop you from buying it, either way, and it makes sure that the collar actually fits you, too.


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## Randolph (Jun 18, 2012)

Great. Now can you write a tutorial on how to _wear _â€‹a collar without looking like a derp?



Smelge said:


> Sorry, is this really a "How To" for buying a fucking dog collar?
> 
> 1 - Go in to shop
> 2 - Find collar you like
> ...


Also this.

Cashiers wouldn't assume you're buying the collar for yourself at all. No need to make an excuse for yourself. It's not like someone selling bell peppers is going to question whether or not you're prepared to shove it up your asshole when you get home and record yourself pooping it out.


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## Kihari (Jun 18, 2012)

ArticSkyWolf said:


> let's say your neck size is 16 inches, in general you would want  to buy a collar that will fit a 16-inch neck, but collar makers of all  kinds mix up the sizes all the time. 16-inches on the label can mean  that the tightest this collar can be is 16-inches or the middle hole is  16-inches or the least tight is 16-inches, so just remember to check  before you actually buy it, and check the refund/return policy, all it  really takes is you to try it on for a few seconds to see if it fits.



If you're at Walmart and paranoid about trying it on in the store, swing by the hardware aisle first and grab a tape measure that's packaged in such a way you can use it to check the length, then put it back when you're done (or leave it in the pet aisle and make the stock guys hate you, whatever).


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## Smelge (Jun 18, 2012)

Oh balls to measuring your neck. A collar for a large dog would do most people unless you want something smaller to go choke some children with.


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## Yago (Jun 18, 2012)

Smelge said:


> Oh balls to measuring your neck. A collar for a large dog would do most people unless you want something smaller to go choke some children with.



These are furries we're talking about, that's a possibility.


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## Smelge (Jun 18, 2012)

Then you want a choke collar. Those adjust to various sizes and are ideal for children up to the age of 12.


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## Dokid (Jun 19, 2012)

Yago said:


> These are furries we're talking about, that's a possibility.



Rope would work better


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## SacrificerPS3 (Jun 19, 2012)

Mine came free with my suit, though I plan on replacing it eventually.


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## ArticSkyWolf (Jun 19, 2012)

Smelge said:


> Sorry, is this really a "How To" for buying a fucking dog collar?
> 
> 1 - Go in to shop
> 2 - Find collar you like
> ...



Well I was explaining it originally to someone else in a PM but your post is pretty much the TL;DR.


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## Belluavir (Jun 23, 2012)

http://collarfactory.com


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## Dreaming (Jun 23, 2012)

No nylon. If you're going to wear a collar, wear something decent. Also, buy online 



Belluavir said:


> http://collarfactory.com


like here.


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## meh_is_all (Jun 26, 2012)

I was at petsmart this one time and I picked up this collar and was seeing if it would fit and I saw this couple staring at me like WTF and I took the collar of and just smiled and waved.mundanes.


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## CerbrusNL (Jun 26, 2012)

Make up a lame excuse about your dog having a similar neck-circumference as you have, if you really have to.

Or just bring a tape-measure to the store. -.-


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## Smelge (Jun 26, 2012)

meh_is_all said:


> mundanes.



No.


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## Lakra (Jun 28, 2012)

My favorite part of picking a collar is trying them on in the store and not giving a fuck about people staring.  But good guide for people who are a little more shy about buying one :3


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