# I sell sex and sex accessories



## BRN (Oct 16, 2013)

Was reading CC's locked thread, and the burgeoning discussion about attitudes towards mature paraphernalia was... well, interesting!

Firstly: Thread isn't about sex stories and that. Sorry, critters.

Secondly: Thread's about the attitudes that make people shop 'in secret', or in an embarrassed way.

If you're a male reading thisED: on reflection, I don't know why I said that; my bad, I'm pretty sure you remember the first time you bought condoms - and you were probably a giggly fucker, you 17yr old you. And yet since most of the folks reading this post are furries, I'mma just say it - you've visited Bad Dragon at least once, if even for no other reason than to gawk and wonder "how the fu-"...

So what's the disparity? What makes folks nervous about entering sex shops, but happily voyeuristic over online shops? Is it the user experience -- and why? My first trip to Ann Summers had me given a pretty cool demonstration on various bottle fluids by a friendly girl who happily then told me the differences between Johnny and Dave. 

Is it a reflection on a secretive culture towards sex in general, or are there some things people don't want cashiers to know about? Hit me.


----------



## Schwimmwagen (Oct 16, 2013)

To take the edge off of having to buy my first condom, I'm going to buy a huge boxful.


----------



## Aleu (Oct 16, 2013)

I think it's a bit of both for the questions.
Here, sex is a very private matter so even when buying condoms, you kinda risk judgment and no one likes to be judged.
Damn, I get embarrassed even when I buy stuff for general feminine needs.


----------



## Alexxx-Returns (Oct 16, 2013)

I don't know what the problem is. I've always been the 'no big deal' type when it comes to buying condoms/sex toys. Because it's not a big deal.

And that does pretty much describe my one visit to Bad Dragon. A ten-second visit ending with the realisation that I didn't belong there and must leave.


----------



## Jabberwocky (Oct 16, 2013)

I usually don't have a need for things like these because...well, I don't even sex.
However I am gonna ask my doctor about birth control pills. Better safe than sorry.


----------



## PastryOfApathy (Oct 16, 2013)

BRN said:


> So what's the disparity? What makes folks nervous about entering sex shops, but happily voyeuristic over online shops? Is it the user experience -- and why? My first trip to Ann Summers had me given a pretty cool demonstration on various bottle fluids by a friendly girl who happily then told me the differences between Johnny and Dave.
> 
> Is it a reflection on a secretive culture towards sex in general, or are there some things people don't want cashiers to know about? Hit me.



I don't want people knowing what gets me off due to a mixture of shame and embarrassment. Shit's weird.


----------



## Fay V (Oct 16, 2013)

I think it's a matter of anonymity being "safer". It is still the case where many look down on sex, and particularly "self help" for sex. So while we might be willing to accept unmarried sex people still have some judgement in regard to the use of toys. 
In the case of online it's anonymous, you are not answering for your choices and society and community is not involved. 

At the local sex shop there is a chance for running into people. People will see you there, they know what it is for, and for some it's people you see on a daily basis (I learned the hard way that a school friend worked at the local sex shop) 
We're still awkward in person, this weird giggly "this person know's i'm buying a toy, they know this will go inside me...weird" 

For the most part it's just people being uncomfortable with expressing that yes, they have sex or use toys. In time some get over it, the guy running our local sex shop was cool as hell. He gave lube and free batteries for some vibrators and with a wink and a smile saw you off. we all know why we're there, and eventually we get over it.


----------



## Schwimmwagen (Oct 16, 2013)

You know, I'm actually seriously considering going to buy a huge box of condoms with a shit-eating grin just to see the cashier's reaction. I'm not even gonna use them, I just wanna see what happens.


----------



## Jabberwocky (Oct 16, 2013)

The topic of sex in my family is very...obscure. It makes my parents uncomfortable.


----------



## Alexxx-Returns (Oct 16, 2013)

BRN said:


> My first trip to Ann Summers had me given a pretty cool demonstration on various bottle fluids by a friendly girl who happily then told me the differences between Johnny and Dave.



My first trip to Ann Summers I got trapped in conversation by a woman who wouldn't shut up about plus-size bras because I asked if they SOLD them at all and all the 'friends' I was with left and abandoned me in a city I didn't know my way around.

I wasn't put off going back by this experience. I would say it's because I'm not afraid of things based on bad experiences, but it's probably more that I wanted sex toys.


----------



## PastryOfApathy (Oct 16, 2013)

Gibby said:


> You know, I'm actually seriously considering going to buy a huge box of condoms with a shit-eating grin just to see the cashier's reaction. I'm not even gonna use them, I just wanna see what happens.



Be sure to also buy rope, duct tape, and some lubricant for maximum effect.


----------



## Schwimmwagen (Oct 16, 2013)

PastryOfApathy said:


> Be sure to also buy rope, duct tape, and some lubricant for maximum effect.



duct tape or some other kind of tape shouldn't be too bad depending on the store. I don't think I'll find rope or zip-ties though.


----------



## Jabberwocky (Oct 16, 2013)

Gibby said:


> duct tape or some other kind of tape shouldn't be too bad depending on the store. I don't think I'll find rope or zip-ties though.



a sports store or camping departments in a store should help with the rope


----------



## Aleu (Oct 16, 2013)

Gibby said:


> duct tape or some other kind of tape shouldn't be too bad depending on the store. I don't think I'll find rope or zip-ties though.



toy cuffs


----------



## CaptainCool (Oct 16, 2013)

Gibby said:


> You know, I'm actually seriously considering going to buy a huge box of condoms with a shit-eating grin just to see the cashier's reaction. I'm not even gonna use them, I just wanna see what happens.



Or you could buy some lotion and porn magazines. Look the cashier dead in the eyes and say "it's gonna be a long night".


----------



## Schwimmwagen (Oct 16, 2013)

Batsy said:


> a sports store or camping departments in a store should help with the rope



maximum effect can only be achieved if all the items are being sold in the same store

said store also needs to have someone alert and attentive looking rather than the brain-dead zombies you get in some places



CaptainCool said:


> Or you could buy some lotion and porn  magazines. Look the cashier dead in the eyes and say "it's gonna be a  long night".




>"100 condoms please"
>Cashier lady giggles
>"Make that 101"


----------



## Hinalle K. (Oct 16, 2013)

I don't think looking at or buying a huge black rubber dong would do well for my straight guy act


----------



## BRN (Oct 16, 2013)

Batsy said:


> The topic of sex in my family is very...obscure. It makes my parents uncomfortable.



It's kind of unfortunate that this is the case, but it's also pretty understandable. I have a truly, truly eclectic mix of friends -- and yet even precious few of those can say they can talk about sex around their parents. And... I mean, you can see why. 

Even outside of buried instincts that restrict the gene pool's contact with incestuous relationships and all the unpredictable social factors that could possibly stem from that, social taboos are magnified a dozen times when among family. But for the most part, folks in a sex shop are going to be strangers, totally removed from your social circles.

Also, atta girl. Good attitude with the edited part.



Fay V said:


> I think it's a matter of anonymity being "safer". It is still the case where many look down on sex, and particularly "self help" for sex. So while we might be willing to accept unmarried sex people still have some judgement in regard to the use of toys.
> In the case of online it's anonymous, you are not answering for your choices and society and community is not involved.
> 
> At the local sex shop there is a chance for running into people. People will see you there, they know what it is for, and for some it's people you see on a daily basis (I learned the hard way that a school friend worked at the local sex shop)
> ...



I'm glad you picked up on the 'anonymity' point; I really figured it'd come up, and I was going to say something along the lines of 'surely the strangers in a sex shop are nothing but strangers, which means you're basically anonymous anyway?'. 

But the fact your friend worked there - I guess that just goes to show that you can't be sure! I can't help but giggle a little, poor thing. 

But if the anonymity's illusory to start with, and we're all aware of that anyway, what then? I mean, if you order online, the mailman bringing a package marked 'silicone sculpture' knows he isn't delivering art as he knocks on the door. And hell, it's true that I'm giggly myself about a BD I'm shipping to an address that I still share with parents, even though trips to a store are something I'm sure I could shake off. Between all the contradictions, I can't figure out where self-consciousness begins, or even what's making it manifest. Mere privacy?



Aleu said:


> I think it's a bit of both for the questions.
> Here, sex is a very private matter so even when buying condoms, you kinda risk judgment and no one likes to be judged.
> Damn, I get embarrassed even when I buy stuff for general feminine needs.


Oh, jeez, I didn't think about this. It's a little bit unique for females, though, I've no experience. I've never even thought about how girls might talk about this stuff.


----------



## Inciatus (Oct 16, 2013)

Batsy said:


> The topic of sex in my family is very...obscure. It makes my parents uncomfortable.


I think is generally the case for most people. Generally discussions regarding sex are very uncomfortable.

I wonder if there is a difference in the amount of discomfort felt between Europeans and Americans.


----------



## Arshes Nei (Oct 16, 2013)

Fay V said:


> I
> We're still awkward in person, this weird giggly "this person know's i'm *guying* a toy, they know this will go inside me...weird"



Dat's sum kinky shit, Fay 

Condoms you can get free at the Planned Parenthood and it's just sex (though unless you need to go out and buy certain kinds due to size). Toys on the other hand can get weird for people because it's more of a "descriptor"

It's like going out and buying regular sanitary pads vs HEAVY FLOW EXTRA ABSORBENT.


----------



## Alexxx-Returns (Oct 16, 2013)

BRN said:


> Oh, jeez, I didn't think about this. It's a little bit unique for females, though, I've no experience. I've never even thought about how girls might talk about this stuff.



This might probably be just my views that few other people share, but it's something that every female does, and stuff that every female needs, and probably not as sensitive a subject as sex/toys. I guess it gets easier to talk about/buy as time goes on.


----------



## BRN (Oct 16, 2013)

AlexxxLupo said:


> I wasn't put off going back by this experience. I would say it's because I'm not afraid of things based on bad experiences, but it's probably more that I wanted sex toys.



"What would you do for a Klondike bar..?"
See, I wasn't like that, then something happened, and then I wanted one too. The trade-off is risk, and somehow the fact that I'm willing to accept that risk is the exact reason I'm willing to ship suspicious packages to my home... despite the potential for bad experiences. 

Fake dickings seem to be worth all kinds of experiences, so why aren't we as a society getting over our contradicktory attitude? It's bizarre to me.



Hinalle K. said:


> I don't think looking at or buying a huge black rubber dong would do well for my straight guy act



Ah, yeah. Image considerations. I've long forgotten about 'em.



Aleu said:


> toy cuffs



candy-bead mankini


----------



## Schwimmwagen (Oct 16, 2013)

I never understood why so many women seem to look down on fleshlight or blow-up doll owners. 

"Ew disembodied vagina and fake woman dude ew u so lonely gross creepy fagit"

I agree that fleshlights are horrible disgusting inventions. You know, as opposed to disembodied electrically-powered horse cocks. Goodness.

I realise I'm making a generalisation, but I've never heard this from a dude.

It's fine that the man you find gross sticks his dick in what inanimate object he wants. Be glad it's not you instead of whining.


----------



## Arshes Nei (Oct 16, 2013)

Both are looked down upon actually. It's either the woman is some lesbo but still needs cawk in her life, or she's lonely and can't get any. Just saying it's not just females looking down at men for their habits - and to be honest I don't care, would make fun of both lightheartedly. 

Blow up dolls look pretty creepy though lol. At least the replica of the phallus has a little smiley face like a more friendly goomba


----------



## Kazooie (Oct 16, 2013)

Batsy said:


> a sports store or camping departments in a store should help with the rope


In terms of bondage and tying, proper training before using rope is important. Keeping someone tied up with rope for an extended period of time can permanently damage nerve if they're being pinched, so you need to know what you're doing. I think if you're keeping it loose, though, it should be fine. Also, investing in rope that actually feels good is something to consider as well, aha.



> Is it a reflection on a secretive culture towards sex in general



There was certainly an invisible shame barrier for me. It's eroded away as I've experienced people (and myself) freely, comfortably expressing sexuality. I feel like society romanticizes sex waaaaaayyyyy too much, and doesn't ever even touch upon sexuality, so the whole thing tends to be pretty alien to people.

I, uh, have to admit that uh. I've been, uh. Seriously considering purchasing a BD product as of late. I'll never stop finding them hilarious though, ahahaha


----------



## Hinalle K. (Oct 16, 2013)

I think blow-up dolls would be akin to girls buying a whole mannequin instead of just a disembodied penis.
It's kinda weird. 
In that sense, fleshlights are kinda normal.


----------



## Inciatus (Oct 16, 2013)

Arshes Nei said:


> It's like going out and buying regular sanitary pads vs HEAVY FLOW EXTRA ABSORBENT.


I do sometimes buy the latter and I get one of two responses. Usually it is either an "aww" type thing or just absolute confusion (as I am male). But they work great to clean up blood so I keep them in first aid kits since it absorbs better and doesn't stick like gauze does. 


BRN said:


> Ah, yeah. Image considerations. I've long forgotten about 'em.
> Well it also depends where you live. Most of the western world being seen as gay is not nearly as bad as in sandyland and less "westernized" places.
> 
> 
> ...


----------



## Schwimmwagen (Oct 16, 2013)

Arshes Nei said:


> Both are looked down upon actually. It's either the woman is some lesbo but still needs cawk in her life, or she's lonely and can't get any. Just saying it's not just females looking down at men for their habits - and to be honest I don't care, would make fun of both lightheartedly.
> 
> Blow up dolls look pretty creepy though lol. At least the replica of the phallus has a little smiley face like a more friendly goomba



Oh, I know, I'm just saying that if you had to compare the two groups the dildo-owners would outnumber the fleshlight-owners.

Because, yes, while a woman can own a thor and be called a slut/can't get any/cockfiend, she will also be referred to as being "in touch with their sexuality" or "independent" and stuff like that, or just "sexy".

I can't think of anyone here having anything positive to say if I shoved this coke can I have right here into my arse.


----------



## Hinalle K. (Oct 16, 2013)

Gibby said:


> I can't think of anyone here having anything positive to say if I shoved this coke can I have right here into my arse.



oh bby :3


----------



## Alexxx-Returns (Oct 16, 2013)

Gibby said:


> I can't think of anyone here having anything positive to say if I shoved this coke can I have right here into my arse.



You'd be surprised :V


----------



## Inciatus (Oct 16, 2013)

Gibby said:


> Oh, I know, I'm just saying that if you had to compare the two groups the dildo-owners would outnumber the fleshlight-owners.
> 
> Because, yes, while a woman can own a thor and be called a slut/can't get any/cockfiend, she will also be referred to as being "in touch with their sexuality" or "independent" and stuff like that, or just "sexy".
> 
> I can't think of anyone here having anything positive to say if I shoved this coke can I have right here into my arse.


I feel like most people here wouldn't really give a shit either way.


----------



## BRN (Oct 16, 2013)

AlexxxLupo said:


> You'd be surprised :V



BD give size comparisons against coke cans, so... =p


----------



## Schwimmwagen (Oct 16, 2013)

BRN said:


> BD give size comparisons against coke cans, so... =p



Send me a BD, this movie is gonna be a hit


----------



## Alexxx-Returns (Oct 16, 2013)

BRN said:


> BD give size comparisons against coke cans, so... =p



Furries...


----------



## BRN (Oct 16, 2013)

AlexxxLupo said:


> Furries...


Actually, that's another thing - the level of customer service so far with BD has been totally comparable to - even, perhaps, better than - a regular sex shop. But contact's all done through named accounts in a support centre. 

What's the difference here?


----------



## Corto (Oct 16, 2013)

Thanks for making me lose my soda, assholes.


----------



## Arshes Nei (Oct 16, 2013)

Gibby said:


> Oh, I know, I'm just saying that if you had to compare the two groups the dildo-owners would outnumber the fleshlight-owners.
> 
> Because, yes, while a woman can own a thor and be called a slut/can't get any/cockfiend, she will also be referred to as being "in touch with their sexuality" or "independent" and stuff like that, or just "sexy".
> 
> I can't think of anyone here having anything positive to say if I shoved this coke can I have right here into my arse.



Actually a lot of women are forgotten about when it comes to orgasm. It's seen as "what's the point" since really the point is to get fertilized. Not to mention female orgasms are not the same as male ones. A guy pretty much has to go to the finish line. A woman gets distracted or turned off it's basically start over if even that. You are with a partner the guy pretty much wants the goal line and well if at the same point the woman doesn't oh well - do it later. 

To also let you in, there are a lot of ER incidents with both genders shoving things inside them that get stuck. Both are laughed at. 

There's still a lot of myths when it comes to female sexuality, and like I said both are frowned at. Other women aren't always complimenting the other if one has a toy. Guys probably saying that may think it's hot. But then you also have different cultures where it's not considered hot. 

Female orgasm is a forgotten realm with a lot of world cultures and misunderstood.


----------



## Jabberwocky (Oct 16, 2013)

BRN said:


> It's kind of unfortunate that this is the case, but it's also pretty understandable. I have a truly, truly eclectic mix of friends -- and yet even precious few of those can say they can talk about sex around their parents. And... I mean, you can see why.
> 
> Even outside of buried instincts that restrict the gene pool's contact with incestuous relationships and all the unpredictable social factors that could possibly stem from that, social taboos are magnified a dozen times when among family. But for the most part, folks in a sex shop are going to be strangers, totally removed from your social circles.
> 
> Also, atta girl. Good attitude with the edited part.



it also doesn't help that my mother is in the insane Christian category, and strongly believes in 'abstinence'. I don't talk with my dad but I do know that he doesn't like topics on sex either.
I can really only express stuff like that to my friends. I tend to not really care much for sex, until recently at least, it's just a matter of if it happens it happens. Which leads me to asking my doctor about birth control pills. I am glad I am of age now and your doctor doesn't have to tell your parents things. Makes me feel a hella lot better. On the subject about sex toys, I have zero interest in them. I find them to be...dunno unpleasant??? At least to me. Although I don't mind if friends mention they have toys. If it makes them happy, why the hell not?


----------



## Inciatus (Oct 16, 2013)

BRN said:


> Actually, that's another thing - the level of customer service so far with BD has been totally comparable to - even, perhaps, better than - a regular sex shop. But contact's all done through named accounts in a support centre.
> 
> What's the difference here?


Probably that there is still that distance. You don't see the other person.


----------



## Fay V (Oct 16, 2013)

Arshes Nei said:


> Dat's sum kinky shit, Fay
> 
> Condoms you can get free at the Planned Parenthood and it's just sex (though unless you need to go out and buy certain kinds due to size). Toys on the other hand can get weird for people because it's more of a "descriptor"
> 
> It's like going out and buying regular sanitary pads vs HEAVY FLOW EXTRA ABSORBENT.



Goddamn typos. 

But yeah that's a good point, condoms are a little different because it's generally not considered bad and the condom itself even if someone disproves (Unless they are fundie levels of hatred for all things sex) are a positive tool. 
Oh you're going to have some sort of sex, even if I don't like that at least it's safe. 

The more descriptive the more we get away from that kind of comfort. It's the same with pads a bit. "well it's going to happen." but super extra absorbent...less "normal" 
I think it's also a matter of uncertainty due to being a different event of sorts. I mean most people get all weird and uncertain about buying pads or tampons, but married men and women do not give a shit anymore. They'll buy tampons, and chocolate, and just carry on in life. 



BRN said:


> I'm glad you picked up on the 'anonymity' point; I really figured it'd come up, and I was going to say something along the lines of 'surely the strangers in a sex shop are nothing but strangers, which means you're basically anonymous anyway?'.
> 
> But the fact your friend worked there - I guess that just goes to show that you can't be sure! I can't help but giggle a little, poor thing.
> 
> ...


I'd say privacy. I'm not well versed in all things dildo. I haven't been to BD site, never ordered anything, I dunno how they ship. I know some things ship with a more blank package. It's a selling point for some that they ship things in unmarked packages so none are the wiser, no big deal. The mailman doesn't know what's it in, it could be books or whatever. 

There's also a difference between handing over a thing and looking someone in the eye knowing you will be using that to orgasm at some point, you both know, versus "heh, there's probably a dildo in this box" particularly since he isn't going to just assume it's something as different as a BD dildo. 

The more vanilla the more "acceptable" and when you are buying you are interacting and have that natural instinct of just wanting to conform. That's harder to do if you feel even an ounce of shame in what you are doing, and most people do in some way, even if they shouldn't.


----------



## Schwimmwagen (Oct 16, 2013)

Arshes Nei said:


> Actually a lot of women are forgotten about when it comes to orgasm. It's seen as "what's the point" since really the point is to get fertilized. Not to mention female orgasms are not the same as male ones. A guy pretty much has to go to the finish line. A woman gets distracted or turned off it's basically start over if even that. You are with a partner the guy pretty much wants the goal line and well if at the same point the woman doesn't oh well - do it later.



that sounds terrible

But apparently they're worth it more than that of mans. Mangasms are boring and horribly disappointing and actually kind of depressing. But I imagine it's very different when you're playing co-op.



> To also let you in, there are a lot of ER incidents with both genders shoving things inside them that get stuck. Both are laughed at.



I've heard about those. They seem to be _really_ common. If I'm ever going to go to the ER for having stuff in my ass, it's going to have to be the most unique object I can find. Like a small model of Winston Churchill, for example.



> There's still a lot of myths when it comes to female sexuality, and like I said both are frowned at. Other women aren't always complimenting the other if one has a toy. Guys probably saying that may think it's hot. But then you also have different cultures where it's not considered hot.
> 
> Female orgasm is a forgotten realm with a lot of world cultures and misunderstood.



Well, I guess we're all kind of fucked by society in this respect. All the more reason to be a little more on the private side, I suppose? Not that you have to be all HNNNG MUH SECRITS but like, I dunno, it's only something that really works with people you're well comfortable with already.


----------



## PastryOfApathy (Oct 16, 2013)

I leave for 15 minutes to get some food and suddenly everyone's talking about shoving coke cans up their asses


----------



## Corto (Oct 16, 2013)

PastryOfApathy said:


> I leave for 15 minutes to get some food and suddenly everyone's talking about shoving coke cans up their asses


That could be our forum's tagline.


----------



## Fay V (Oct 16, 2013)

Your signature...god dammit.


----------



## Jabberwocky (Oct 16, 2013)

PastryOfApathy said:


> I leave for 15 minutes to get some food and suddenly everyone's talking about shoving coke cans up their asses



*whispers* using this in sig


----------



## PastryOfApathy (Oct 16, 2013)

Batsy said:


> *whispers* using this in sig



I feel so honored...or something.


----------



## RedSavage (Oct 16, 2013)

Well hey, nice to know that quick crash-and-burn of a thread spawned some actual discussion elsewhere. 

In terms of the gender gap in toys, I'll go out on a limb and say that I have a toy or two myself. I guess the largest negative connotations of toys for men is either A) Is it phallus shaped and imply alternate sexuality? Or B) The sense of owning a rather sloppy and disgusting toy. The whole pocket-pussy/fleshlight spotlight is not focused on ones that have been found _squeaky clean._ 


That said I don't care. I don't wave my business around in the air (interesting image...) so it never comes into daily conversation too much. That said, when it does, I'm fairly open. Sexuality and occasional self-indulgence is something we've all got in common, no matter how much we deny it. My view is filtered as an employee of such an establishment, but that's my overall take on it.


----------



## Kazooie (Oct 16, 2013)

Cans? _2L Bottles_ are required to judge the relative size of some of the things, apparently.


----------



## Schwimmwagen (Oct 16, 2013)

CoyoteCaliente said:


> In terms of the gender gap in toys, I'll go out on a limb and say that I have a toy or two myself. I guess the largest negative connotations of toys for men is either A) Is it phallus shaped and imply alternate sexuality? Or B) The sense of owning a rather sloppy and disgusting toy. The whole pocket-pussy/fleshlight spotlight is not focused on ones that have been found _squeaky clean._



I'll be honest and say that fleshlights actually look kinda off-putting.

There are ones without any "detail" though.


----------



## RedSavage (Oct 16, 2013)

Gibby said:


> I'll be honest and say that fleshlights actually look kinda off-putting.
> There are ones without any "detail" though.



We even have one that's a neon green foot. Comes with a vibrator. 
You can stick your whoopee-stick into a fleshlight shaped like a foot. 
Now ain't that somethin'?


----------



## Schwimmwagen (Oct 16, 2013)

CoyoteCaliente said:


> We even have one that's a neon green foot. Comes with a vibrator.
> You can stick your whoopee-stick into a fleshlight shaped like a foot.
> Now ain't that somethin'?



_innovation_


----------



## Inciatus (Oct 16, 2013)

CoyoteCaliente said:


> (interesting image...)


Dammit I was fine until you said that. Get that image out of my head!


----------



## Jabberwocky (Oct 16, 2013)

Kazooie said:


> Cans? _2L Bottles_ are required to judge the relative size of some of the things, apparently.



shit very bad image ABORT ABORT.


----------



## Inciatus (Oct 16, 2013)

Batsy said:


> shit very bad image ABORT ABORT.


It is too late it is stuck in there forever. On a side note the image in my head from CC talking about waving his junk is gone.


CoyoteCaliente said:


> We even have one that's a neon green foot. Comes with a vibrator.
> You can stick your whoopee-stick into a fleshlight shaped like a foot.
> Now ain't that somethin'?


I think that is taking a foot fetish a little far.


----------



## Alexxx-Returns (Oct 16, 2013)

CoyoteCaliente said:


> I guess the largest negative connotations of toys for men is either A) Is it phallus shaped and imply alternate sexuality?



This kind of thing really grinds my gears for some reason. This mini-rant isn't aimed at anyone here, but it really pisses me off when (after backdoor play is suggested to them) a lot of men respond with "No, I'm not gay". Well then... nice to know! But what the hell does enjoying/taking advantage of biological mechanics that all men have, have to do with being sexually attracted to men? No, use your head. Just because it's shaped a little like a dick, doesn't mean you aren't straight.

Do men get insecure about eating phallus-shaped foods as well?


----------



## Lobar (Oct 16, 2013)

CoyoteCaliente said:


> We even have one that's a neon green foot. Comes with a vibrator.
> You can stick your whoopee-stick into a fleshlight shaped like a foot.
> Now ain't that somethin'?



So are you supposed to visualize yourself fucking a gaping foot wound or something? D:


----------



## PastryOfApathy (Oct 16, 2013)

Kazooie said:


> Cans? _2L Bottles_ are required to judge the relative size of some of the things, apparently.



Well some people like to live _dangerously_...


----------



## Schwimmwagen (Oct 16, 2013)

AlexxxLupo said:


> Do men get insecure about eating phallus-shaped foods as well?



It happens.

Next time you're around with a manfriend while he eats a hotdog or something be as attentive as possible. Make sure he notices you watching him with a perverted-looking grin. Comment on things phallus-related and his oral consumption of them. See what happens.


----------



## Wither (Oct 16, 2013)

To be completely honest, because I have no self respect or dignity, I have a big floppy green dildo that's about a 1 and a half long. 

Now, it's not used because, frankly, I ain't taking anything up my ass, but instead I just sometimes flop it around, throw it about, and even whip around. It's fucking hilarious to me because I'm an immature little kid on the inside and it's just so fucking floppy. 

I did get it at a sexxx shop because I figured "this would be a funny gift"  and "The employees see worse daily.". And guess what? I paid for it and left without once feeling awkward (apart from the awkwardness of being around a bunch of wankers) 

What I'm saying is dildos and various other sex toys shouldn't be shameful but they're not a prideful item either. You really shouldn't put much of any thought into it.



Jesus fucking Christ. Looking back, I can say with certainty that I'm an idiot, but I think I like being one. It's fun.


----------



## Alexxx-Returns (Oct 16, 2013)

Gibby said:


> It happens.
> 
> Next time you're around with a manfriend while he eats a hotdog or something be as attentive as possible. Make sure he notices you watching him with a perverted-looking grin. Comment on things phallus-related and his oral consumption of them. See what happens.



The last time a male friend was eating a hotdog I already WAS staring at him with a perverted grin.


----------



## Punnchy (Oct 16, 2013)

Our society as a whole is rather prudish. We tend t6 wantto keep anything sexually offensive in nature behind a closed door, because we as a society are pretty afraid of the consequences of not doing so. A lot of people I know will talk about certain sexual things only in the privacy of small groups of company, and will have tons of tact in the company of other people.


----------



## Inciatus (Oct 16, 2013)

AlexxxLupo said:


> This kind of thing really grinds my gears for some reason. This mini-rant isn't aimed at anyone here, but it really pisses me off when (after backdoor play is suggested to them) a lot of men respond with "No, I'm not gay". Well then... nice to know! But what the hell does enjoying/taking advantage of biological mechanics that all men have, have to do with being sexually attracted to men? No, use your head. Just because it's shaped a little like a dick, doesn't mean you aren't straight.
> 
> Do men get insecure about eating phallus-shaped foods as well?


Some people do. Some people will eat Popsicles, bananas, full carrots, hot dogs, sausage and such differently if they are being watched so then the object looks less phallic.


----------



## Arshes Nei (Oct 16, 2013)

Wither said:


> To be completely honest, because I have no self respect or dignity, I have a big floppy green dildo that's about a 1 and a half long.
> 
> Now, it's not used because, frankly, I ain't taking anything up my ass, but instead I just sometimes flop it around, throw it about, and even whip around. It's fucking hilarious to me because I'm an immature little kid on the inside and it's just so fucking floppy.



Sounds like Saint's Row...


----------



## Ozriel (Oct 16, 2013)

People are less inclined to go into a sex store afraid of running into someone locally than ordering online anonymous since society shames sex as an immoral act. If someone walks into you ans sees that you've been to Leather and Lace...you'd become self-conscious about it. Unless you do not have any dignity.

The first time I went to a sex store, I never blushed so hard in my life before the whole idea of me walking inside and having a dildo talk with a friend lost its charm.


----------



## Schwimmwagen (Oct 16, 2013)

AlexxxLupo said:


> The last time a male friend was eating a hotdog I already WAS staring at him with a perverted grin.



*ãƒ»Ï‰ãƒ»)ãƒŽâŒ’* u go gurl~~~~


----------



## Inciatus (Oct 16, 2013)

Wither said:


> To be completely honest, because I have no self respect or dignity, I have a big floppy green dildo that's about a 1 and a half long.
> 
> Now, it's not used because, frankly, I ain't taking anything up my ass, but instead I just sometimes flop it around, throw it about, and even whip around. It's fucking hilarious to me because I'm an immature little kid on the inside and it's just so fucking floppy.
> 
> ...


The image I have now is quite adorable.


----------



## Arshes Nei (Oct 16, 2013)

Ozriel said:


> The first time I went to a sex store, I never blushed so hard in my life before the whole idea of me walking inside and having a dildo talk with a friend lost its charm.



I remember being shooshed by my boyfriend at the time because I was laughing at the titles. I'm like the fuck, it's a sex shop, not a funeral. If people are upset that Pornos tend to use comedic references of their own stuff - maybe you shouldn't be shopping there.

Tho it is one thing to heckle another shopper... I mean that's rude - "oh you like it THAT big huh?"


----------



## RedSavage (Oct 16, 2013)

AlexxxLupo said:


> This kind of thing really grinds my gears for some reason. This mini-rant isn't aimed at anyone here, but it really pisses me off when (after backdoor play is suggested to them) a lot of men respond with "No, I'm not gay". Well then... nice to know! But what the hell does enjoying/taking advantage of biological mechanics that all men have, have to do with being sexually attracted to men? No, use your head. Just because it's shaped a little like a dick, doesn't mean you aren't straight.
> Do men get insecure about eating phallus-shaped foods as well?



This plays in with the whole preconceived gender roles. Males are still stuck in a lot of the old connotation. Be manly. Be straight. Get woman. Etc. A man with fabulous and dyed hair is questionable, but a woman with short hair is spunky. This is something that'll take time to shed, and is an argument in itself. 

That said, they do make toys that are male oriented, but not necessarily homosexually oriented. Plugs with vague round shapes. Prostate massagers with  esoteric shapes. (Aneros is a good example.). Others, on the other hand, do play the field. The dubiously named, 18 inch "Size Queen" (aka Ralph) is kind of a jab at the slang term for a certain group of... well, _enthusiasts_ within the gay communities. 

But in the end, Toys do not determine sexuality. You do. As my buddy once said, it's only gay if you break eye contact.



Lobar said:


> So are you supposed to visualize yourself fucking a gaping foot wound or something? D:



I have no idea. Fetish. That's my answer and I'm stickin to it.


----------



## Lobar (Oct 16, 2013)

Arshes Nei said:


> I remember being shooshed by my boyfriend at the time because I was laughing at the titles. I'm like the fuck, it's a sex shop, not a funeral. If people are upset that Pornos tend to use comedic references of their own stuff - maybe you shouldn't be shopping there.



"Gidget the Monster Midget"

There's no way you're _not_ laughing at something like that.


----------



## Alexxx-Returns (Oct 16, 2013)

CoyoteCaliente said:


> That said, they do make toys that are male oriented, but not necessarily homosexually oriented.



How do you make a male toy homosexually-oriented? 

Furthermore, what is the difference between how a straight guy uses a toy and how a gay guy uses one? :V


----------



## Inciatus (Oct 16, 2013)

CoyoteCaliente said:


> As my buddy once said, it's only gay if you break eye contact.


Please explain.


----------



## Jabberwocky (Oct 16, 2013)

walking to the back of a Spencer's store is hysterical. My friend was once messing around with sex position flash cards and she ended up dropping the deck all over the floor. Also, their creativity is so funny. A penis shaped baking pan. Lmao.


----------



## Ozriel (Oct 16, 2013)

Arshes Nei said:


> I remember being shooshed by my boyfriend at the time because I was laughing at the titles. I'm like the fuck, it's a sex shop, not a funeral. If people are upset that Pornos tend to use comedic references of their own stuff - maybe you shouldn't be shopping there.
> 
> Tho it is one thing to heckle another shopper... I mean that's rude - "oh you like it THAT big huh?"




But the fact that the local one sold Bad Dragon toys...I could not stop laughing.


----------



## Schwimmwagen (Oct 16, 2013)

CoyoteCaliente said:


> That said, they do make toys that are male oriented, but not necessarily homosexually oriented. Plugs with vague round shapes. Prostate massagers with  esoteric shapes.



I saw a thread on /k/ once where a guy pointed out how a rifle bolt can be used as a good prostate massager.

Hmmm.

It's certainly a good disguise to save your percieved masculinity.


----------



## Inciatus (Oct 16, 2013)

Gibby said:


> I saw a thread on /k/ once where a guy pointed out how a rifle bolt can be used as a good prostate massager.
> 
> Hmmm.
> 
> It's certainly a good disguise to save your percieved masculinity.


Why would you put that there?


----------



## Schwimmwagen (Oct 16, 2013)

Inciatus said:


> Why would you put that there?



The same could be asked of a lot of objects.

At least it's not the bayonet.


----------



## Arshes Nei (Oct 16, 2013)

Lobar said:


> "Gidget the Monster Midget"
> 
> There's no way you're _not_ laughing at something like that.



I need to find the packing list of sex toys one of the companies I worked for (it's logistics company) had going to Israel


----------



## RedSavage (Oct 16, 2013)

AlexxxLupo said:


> How do you make a male toy homosexually-oriented?
> Furthermore, what is the difference between how a straight guy uses a toy and how a gay guy uses one? :V



I gave a tongue in cheek example a bit after, but that line is a bit.... out of whack. Didn't realize how much you pointed it out to me. 

Basically what I saying is that a man does have an option to choose between a non-phallic shape and one that looks exactly like a male penis. The latter is marketed towards females, _who might prefer_ a phallic shape because they are into men. So, to get one shaped as such...

Well look there's implications. But that's not to say an utterly straight guy can't have a penis shaped dildo. Sexuality is a funny thing that can't be boiled down to sex-shop purchases. There's only surface assumption, and it can all be wrong.



Inciatus said:


> Please explain.



It's a joke. :B


----------



## Alexxx-Returns (Oct 16, 2013)

Gibby said:


> I saw a thread on /k/ once where a guy pointed out how a rifle bolt can be used as a good prostate massager.
> 
> Hmmm.



Experimental limit reached.

DO NOT WANT.


----------



## PastryOfApathy (Oct 16, 2013)

Inciatus said:


> Why would you put that there?



Because there's liking guns and then there's _liking_ guns.


----------



## Schwimmwagen (Oct 16, 2013)

AlexxxLupo said:


> Experimental limit reached.
> 
> DO NOT WANT.



If it's any comfort, the coke can is still intact.


----------



## Alexxx-Returns (Oct 16, 2013)

CoyoteCaliente said:


> I gave a tongue in cheek example a bit after, but that line is a bit.... out of whack. Didn't realize how much you pointed it out to me.
> 
> Basically what I saying is that a man does have an option to choose between a non-phallic shape and one that looks exactly like a male penis. The latter is marketed towards females, _who might prefer_ a phallic shape because they are into men. So, to get one shaped as such...
> 
> Well look there's implications. But that's not to say an utterly straight guy can't have a penis shaped dildo. Sexuality is a funny thing that can't be boiled down to sex-shop purchases. There's only surface assumption, and it can all be wrong.



What you said was fine, I just get very passionate about this topic.

And as a straight girl, I actually find true-to-life veiny dildos/vibes with heads to be quite creepy.


----------



## Jags (Oct 16, 2013)

I will happily discuss other people's sex lives, make jokes, even listen to the TMI stuff without flinching.

But I can't talk about myself at all. Not even comfortably with my partner. I just get all flustered, then frustrated, then I just go 'Fuck it' and stop talking. 

But from a sociological point of view, sex is still considered pretty much private. TV refuses to show it, and even when it does there's thousands of complaints-despite the fact everyone got there by it. It's like complaining about seeing people eat. Everyone does it, how is it so bad? (Not that I'm advocating sex adverts on TV all day. Just, weird. Sex is a much a part of the human existence as eating and crapping.)


----------



## RedSavage (Oct 16, 2013)

AlexxxLupo said:


> What you said was fine, I just get very passionate about this topic.
> And as a straight girl, I actually find true-to-life veiny dildos/vibes with heads to be quite creepy.



See? It's all about what you're into. But it's all dependent on market. I bet you could take the same toy and market it to straight, gay, and lesbian people everywhere with enough money and time.


----------



## Inciatus (Oct 16, 2013)

Gibby said:


> If it's any comfort, the coke can is still intact.


Yay?


Rain-Wizard said:


> I will happily discuss other people's sex lives, make jokes, even listen to the TMI stuff without flinching.
> 
> But I can't talk about myself at all. Not even comfortably with my partner. I just get all flustered, then frustrated, then I just go 'Fuck it' and stop talking.
> 
> But from a sociological point of view, sex is still considered pretty much private. TV refuses to show it, and even when it does there's thousands of complaints-despite the fact everyone got there by it. It's like complaining about seeing people eat. Everyone does it, how is it so bad? (Not that I'm advocating sex adverts on TV all day. Just, weird. Sex is a much a part of the human existence as eating and crapping.)


For quite a bit of time even toilets couldn't be shown on television.


----------



## Athyr (Oct 16, 2013)

AlexxxLupo said:


> What you said was fine, I just get very passionate about this topic.
> 
> And as a straight girl, I actually find true-to-life veiny dildos/vibes with heads to be quite creepy.



dildo or actual appendages that have very prominent veins are "angry" in my book. Very intimidating and kinda scary looking.


----------



## Batty Krueger (Oct 16, 2013)

When I was younger I bought condoms for my friend cuz he was to scared to.  I don't mind, I frolic in sex shops all the time, it's of no concern to me.


----------



## Percy (Oct 16, 2013)

Dammit why did I have to take a college exam (that had nothing to do with sex in any way) and miss all the fun here? :C

Anyways, I'd be wary of entering a sex shop on my own. With a good friend it's be a lot less awkward.


----------



## Inciatus (Oct 16, 2013)

Percy said:


> Dammit why did I have to take a college exam (that had nothing to do with sex in any way) and miss all the fun here? :C
> 
> Anyways, I'd be wary of entering a sex shop on my own. With a good friend it's be a lot less awkward.


I feel like it would be more awkward with a friend.


----------



## Corto (Oct 16, 2013)

AlexxxLupo said:


> Do men get insecure about eating phallus-shaped foods as well?


I feel ya. I'm confident enough in my sexuality that when I eat phallic foods I suck it off first.



> I saw a thread on /k/ once where a guy pointed out how a rifle bolt can be used as a good prostate massager.


Well, all those pictures of "alternate uses for guns in the russian army" took on a whole new meaning.


----------



## Percy (Oct 16, 2013)

Inciatus said:


> I feel like it would be more awkward with a friend.


I have a friend who went to a sex shop with a friend of his, and they bought a massive black dildo as a gag gift. Not even lying.

Clearly it wasn't awkward to them. o-o


----------



## Alexxx-Returns (Oct 16, 2013)

Looking at sex toys in a shop with a friend is only really awkward if there is a lot of sexual tension between you and him/her.

I have a distinct memory of being in a NORMAL shop with a guy (where the sexual tension in the friendship was almost thick enough to see with the naked eye) and we both noticed a shelf laden with sex toys, and we both just instinctively skipped it (while looking at everything else in the shop) without saying anything.


----------



## Inciatus (Oct 16, 2013)

Percy said:


> I have a friend who went to a sex shop with a friend of his, and they bought a massive black dildo as a gag gift. Not even lying.
> 
> Clearly it wasn't awkward to them. o-o


Though I suppose there it is a matter of intent. They aren't planning to use the gag gift. Even so, it isn't the same for everyone. I have some friends who did a similar thing but found it rather awkward.


----------



## Schwimmwagen (Oct 16, 2013)

am I socially retarded for not understanding what anyone means when they say "sexual tension"?

a boner involves physical tension at least


----------



## Alexxx-Returns (Oct 16, 2013)

Gibby said:


> am I socially retarded for not understanding what anyone means when they say "sexual tension"?
> 
> a boner involves physical tension at least



Don't know about anyone else, but I use the term to describe when you strongly suspect that someone wants you, but haven't got the guts to ask. And you possibly want them, but they aren't brave enough to ask you. And sometimes it feels like you are both gonna get it on right there and then in the middle of the department store where you both work.

And it's really awkward when you accidentally brush hands.


----------



## Schwimmwagen (Oct 16, 2013)

AlexxxLupo said:


> Don't know about anyone else, but I use the term to describe when you strongly suspect that someone wants you, but haven't got the guts to ask. And you possibly want them, but they aren't brave enough to ask you. And sometimes it feels like you are both gonna get it on right there and then in the middle of the department store where you both work.
> 
> And it's really awkward when you accidentally brush hands.



far too advanced for me


----------



## Hinalle K. (Oct 16, 2013)

Percy said:


> I have a friend who went to a sex shop with a friend of his, and they bought a massive black dildo as a gag gift. Not even lying.
> 
> Clearly it wasn't awkward to them. o-o


Having friends like that must be great for a closeted gay guy!

"Oh yeah...that was a teeerrible gag gift... Terrible, terrible... I hate you guys!  "


----------



## RedSavage (Oct 16, 2013)

...And then the sneaking suspicion that you're completely imagining all the cues from the other.


----------



## Schwimmwagen (Oct 16, 2013)

CoyoteCaliente said:


> ...And then the sneaking suspicion that you're completely imagining all the cues from the other.



oh, this I know


----------



## Percy (Oct 16, 2013)

Hinalle K. said:


> Having friends like that must be great for a closeted gay guy!
> 
> "Oh yeah...that was a teeerrible gag gift... Terrible, terrible... I hate you guys!  "


The gag dildo-gift was for my friend's girlfriend. He made sure everyone knew about it, though, despite the discomfort some felt seeing it.


----------



## BRN (Oct 16, 2013)

Percy said:


> The gag dildo-gift was for my friend's girlfriend. He made sure everyone knew about it, though, despite the discomfort some felt seeing it.


http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5003911/


----------



## Percy (Oct 16, 2013)

BRN said:


> http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/5003911/


Free dildo? I wouldn't be mad at all.
Either use it or sell it. Or both. Nobody has to know~


----------



## Scath-mac-tire (Oct 16, 2013)

I'm probably an anomaly here but topics like this always makes me feel awkward, which is a little ironic because my high school class wasn't. If 
I had to guess then I'd say that some people prefer this to be more of a private matter, whereas I think others wouldn't really even care about the topic one way or the other, depending on the person.


----------



## Willow (Oct 16, 2013)

The sex shops around here look so shady and uninviting. They're either tucked off in some little empty lot or they're sitting of to the side of a highway. Buying online though, offers some level of anonymity and like others have said, sex is still considered a private matter as far as strangers are concerned.

It's kind of the same way with buying other things like condoms or things that aren't even really sex related like tampons and stuff like that. 

And to be fair, just because everyone does it doesn't necessarily mean everyone wants to know or share that information.


----------



## Saga (Oct 16, 2013)

BRN said:


> I'm pretty sure you remember the first time you bought condoms - and you were probably a giggly fucker, you 17yr old you.


LOLOLOOL YES
After I finished giggling I said it was "for a prank"
The cashier just gave me the BS look


----------



## Dreaming (Oct 16, 2013)

Oh huh, there's no sex shops in this town. It's probably a judgement thing... I mean like, the cashiers at the local liqour store are fucking awful and give you dirty looks as you walk around their shop, but somehow doubt that a cashier in the sex shop will laugh at you for buying lube and bondage gear or whatever crap I dunno


----------



## Arshes Nei (Oct 16, 2013)

I love how conspicuously inconspicuous Sex shop buildings usually are.  BRIGHTLY COLORED (cover everything up - I know why but still).


----------



## Conker (Oct 16, 2013)

I listen to a podcast called Sex Nerd Sandra where the talk is about sex and sexual accessories. It's a fun show for those interested in the topic. Plus, one of the hosts is a comedian.

It's kind of a shame how underground some of the sexual talk can be, since wanting to orgasm is a healthy thing and toys just bring some variety to that. 

If a toy can make a pleasurable act more pleasurable, then I see no reason for it to be stigmatized. Shame that's not the case.


----------



## Tailmon1 (Oct 16, 2013)

Here Sex shops are usually found with the XXX book stores. They do have a couple 
of really good shops and have a nice selection of items and gear. I have never 
been worried about being seen in them. I like to shop the gear that I might buy 
or order on line. 

When I grew up sex and the accessories were kept in the bedroom and none of us
knew where they got them. Still as you grew up you found your friends that had
the books with the pictures and you wondered where they got the stuff from. 
No one talked or knew where.


----------



## Monocled Unicorn (Oct 16, 2013)

Honestly, I've never bought condoms before--my girlfriend has always bought them for us. 

That didn't dawn on me until I read this thread.

Edit: My only experience with a sex shop was going in with my best friend and his now-ex girlfriend "for teh lulz". All you could hear as you walked in the door was the sound of porn blaring.


----------



## Kosdu (Oct 16, 2013)

I seem so straight I'll amaze the cashier when one day I buy one, a rather small one since I am freaky about these things but still. I'll make my voice ridiculously deep and act natural while I ask which type of lube goes with the toy.

It's hilarious, a grandaughter in law of my grandma had some sort of party (prob wedding) and her friends gave her a bunch of "gifts", so I walked out on my grandma's porch and found a flyswatter in the shape of a giant pink dong.

It was hilarious, my little old grandma got that as a gift.


----------



## Willow (Oct 16, 2013)

Conker said:


> It's kind of a shame how underground some of the sexual talk can be, since wanting to orgasm is a healthy thing and toys just bring some variety to that.


I really can't say I blame anyone for wanting to keep such things confidential. It's kind of one of those don't ask don't tell type deals in that unless someone brings it up, not many people are going to freely disclose that to just anyone. 

Close friends are a different story however.


----------



## Arshes Nei (Oct 16, 2013)

Willow said:


> I really can't say I blame anyone for wanting to keep such things confidential. It's kind of one of those don't ask don't tell type deals in that unless someone brings it up, not many people are going to freely disclose that to just anyone.
> 
> Close friends are a different story however.



Yeah exactly, because some people don't understand boundaries and will always cross the line or misinterpret talks like that as invitations. Then the slut shaming happens.


----------



## Conker (Oct 16, 2013)

Willow said:


> I really can't say I blame anyone for wanting to keep such things confidential. It's kind of one of those don't ask don't tell type deals in that unless someone brings it up, not many people are going to freely disclose that to just anyone.
> 
> Close friends are a different story however.


Oh for sure. I'm firmly in the category of "don't ask, don't tell, and if you ask I probably won't tell anyways" because I'm both a prude and just really awkward about that stuff. My business. 

Time and place for everything, but it also seems like most people dont' want to make time or find the place when it comes to sex and what sex can entail, which I do find a shame since there's a lot more to sex than just bumping uglies. 

I guess what I'm trying to say is that the average person is too afraid to look into what's out there and what options are available, and that might be fine, but a life without variety is a life that's boring.


----------



## Judge Spear (Oct 16, 2013)

Got my rubbers from the clinic. :<
And I saw enough creepy feral art on the banners of FA (you do us NO favors Dragoneer) to AVOID Bad Dragon all these years. Wasn't until I came here I learned they sold nasty ass animal themed dildos.


----------



## Willow (Oct 17, 2013)

Conker said:


> Oh for sure. I'm firmly in the category of "don't ask, don't tell, and if you ask I probably won't tell anyways" because I'm both a prude and just really awkward about that stuff. My business.
> 
> Time and place for everything, but it also seems like most people dont' want to make time or find the place when it comes to sex and what sex can entail, which I do find a shame since there's a lot more to sex than just bumping uglies.
> 
> I guess what I'm trying to say is that the average person is too afraid to look into what's out there and what options are available, and that might be fine, but a life without variety is a life that's boring.


Oh! Okay. At first it sounded more like you found it a shame no one really talks about it because it's considered shameful and all that. 

Unfortunately no one really teaches how to safely explore sexuality, especially not in high school, and the only time you'll probably get that talk in college is if you happen to take a class on it or someone speaks about it. And so I guess many people really don't know how to talk about it. So the only information people really have is "sex makes babies" or some other really basic idea. 

If that makes sense.


----------



## Inciatus (Oct 17, 2013)

Willow said:


> Oh! Okay. At first it sounded more like you found it a shame no one really talks about it because it's considered shameful and all that.
> 
> Unfortunately no one really teaches how to safely explore sexuality, especially not in high school, and the only time you'll probably get that talk in college is if you happen to take a class on it or someone speaks about it. And so I guess many people really don't know how to talk about it. So the only information people really have is "sex makes babies" or some other really basic idea.
> 
> If that makes sense.


And usually during those classes there is the stereotypical stuff about all the terrible things that come from sex (no doubt there are certainly many) while everyone is giggling about the parts. The jokes in the movies about the teacher saying your penis will fall off and what not if you have sex in movies are there for a reason.


----------



## powderhound (Oct 17, 2013)

Gibby said:


> I've heard about those. They seem to be really common. If I'm ever going to go to the ER for having stuff in my ass, it's going to have to be the most unique object I can find. Like a small model of Winston Churchill, for example.


 See #4 below.

Like any activity that people commonly partake in, accidents are the rule rather than the exception. The victim of a sex accident often starts out very embarrassed but is almost immediately put at ease when they see no one really gives a fuck because its just business as usual in the ER.

10 General rules to keep you out if the ER:

1) Avoid penetration with dildos or other objects that aren't large enough at the base to keep them from disappearing inside you. People are usually caught off guard by how fast stuff "just suddenly disappears." I don't know why they make toys like that. They're probably the number one offender.

2) No glass. Please for the love of god, NO GLASS. Light bulbs, jam jars, bottles... If they break it's a fucking mess and a disaster. They always get lost and removing them is high risk for all parties. Guys don't put it in anything glass either.


3) Avoid metal cock rings. Particularly the thick case hardened steel ones. Diamond saws and hydraulic equipment are very unforgiving down there when your swole up to the size of a cantaloupe and sensitive. Even if the doc has a good system figured out for these, you won't like it. Plus your junk prob will never work again cuz of how long everyone lets it go before seeking help.

4) If you develop abdominal pain/tenderness after putting anything up the butt get it to the hospital IMMEDIATELY *AND* tell them what you did or you might die. Don't wait. Please. The hardness/pointyness of the object seems to be the biggest factor in bowel perforations. Your "Winston Churchhill model would be a very poor choice." Pencils seem to have the poorest track record. Although getting agressive with very large toys/ animals is bad news too. Time is not on your side, people get septic shock and die fast even with the best care. If you waited and survive your abdomen may be one giant abscess that has to be left wide open to heal from the inside out over months while your bowels are diverted into a bag. It's a living nightmare. 

5) Know your limits and don't tare your rectum. It's a pain in the ass to fix and getting numbed up for the repair will likely be the worst experience of your young life.

6-10) not really on topic.

Everyone's been through enough rodeo's in an ER to know you didn't accidentally fall on that shot glass (saying you we're trying to do a rectal shot so the alcohol is absorbed faster... Better, but still no). Just be honest, it's refreshing and withholding details could be dangerous. Whatever you did, your probably not the first one they've seen... this month.


----------



## Tailmon1 (Oct 17, 2013)

powderhound said:


> See #4 below.
> 
> Like any activity that people commonly partake in, accidents are the rule rather than the exception. The victim of a sex accident often starts out very embarrassed but is almost immediately put at ease when they see no one really gives a fuck because its just business as usual in the ER.
> 
> ...



Nice post I forgot to talk about it. Having had to take Umm... Friends to the ER and pick them up in 
the ambulance when I used to work as an ECA you get some rather interesting accidents and a few 
actually nasty assaults that need attention.


----------



## Deo (Oct 17, 2013)

Makes me nervous. I'm rather frazzled by all that and anonymity soothes me. Nobody will known it's me, nobody will know what I'm into, it's personal and I'm rather shy about it. I'm like Alue, even things like feminine products I wait until they open the self-check so there's no clerk to look at me.


----------



## Arshes Nei (Oct 17, 2013)

powderhound said:


> 5) Know your limits and don't tare your rectum. It's a pain in the ass to fix and getting numbed up for the repair will likely be the worst experience of your young life.



*rimshot*


----------



## Schwimmwagen (Oct 17, 2013)

Arshes Nei said:


> *rimshot*



hot


----------



## Fay V (Oct 17, 2013)

Deo said:


> Makes me nervous. I'm rather frazzled by all that and anonymity soothes me. Nobody will known it's me, nobody will know what I'm into, it's personal and I'm rather shy about it. I'm like Alue, even things like feminine products I wait until they open the self-check so there's no clerk to look at me.



my local store doesnt have one anymore (anti theft maybe?) so I buy tampons, and chocolate and look them dead in the eye while whispering "The apocalypse is coming and only this will stem the tide"


----------



## Deo (Oct 17, 2013)

Fay V said:


> my local store doesnt have one anymore (anti theft maybe?) so I buy tampons, and chocolate and look them dead in the eye while whispering "The apocalypse is coming and only this will stem the tide"


Oh god. 



CoyoteCaliente said:


> This plays in with the whole preconceived  gender roles. Males are still stuck in a lot of the old connotation. Be  manly. Be straight. Get woman. Etc. A man with fabulous and dyed hair is  questionable, but a woman with short hair is spunky. This is something  that'll take time to shed, and is an argument in itself.


I wish this was true. I've always wanted short hair. But if I even so much as mention _thinking _about  cutting my hair shorter I hear things like "Are you trying to look like  a dyke?", "People will think you are a man", "This is why men aren't  attracted to you/this is why no one will ever love you". So no, the  "spunky with short hair" is only applicable to petite, thin, ultra  feminine looking women with sharp angular features. The rest of us are  seen as cross dressing fat fucks. I got so much shit when I cut my hair a  little shorter than the tops of my shoulders when I donated my hair for  cancer wigs. For months people would dramatically sigh, flick it, and  say things like "Thank God you're growing it back!"


----------



## Hinalle K. (Oct 17, 2013)

funny thing, most workplaces in the western world forbid men from having long hair, right?


----------



## Deo (Oct 17, 2013)

Hinalle K. said:


> funny thing, most workplaces in the western world forbid men from having long hair, right?


Yes, and facial hair is frowned upon and seen as dirty and lazy. (Don't know why, a guy's hair isn't something that anyone else should have any say about. Though I gotta say I like facial hair on guys. You all look so rugged when you let it grow. But you're totally allowed to shave, I won't try to force any of you into looking a certain way.)


----------



## Corto (Oct 17, 2013)

Deo said:


> I wish this was true. I've always wanted short hair. But if I even so much as mention _thinking _about  cutting my hair shorter I hear things like "Are you trying to look like  a dyke?", "People will think you are a man", "This is why men aren't  attracted to you/this is why no one will ever love you". So no, the  "spunky with short hair" is only applicable to petite, thin, ultra  feminine looking women with sharp angular features. The rest of us are  seen as cross dressing fat fucks. I got so much shit when I cut my hair a  little shorter than the tops of my shoulders when I donated my hair for  cancer wigs. For months people would dramatically sigh, flick it, and  say things like "Thank God you're growing it back!"


Whoever says that is the most idiotic, shit eating, ass lending, cock munching, blind and possibly deaf asshat in the planet. When I become World President For Life, I'll require by law that every girl shall have short hair. 
I dunno, I suppose it may  be just me, but I've always loved girls with short hair, and body type never really factored into it. Obviously some may look bad with short hair, nothing fits everyone, but I wouldn't venture to say that only some specific kind of girl looks good in it.

Also, I suppose ITT I slowly and backhandedly reveal my (comparatively) really lame and down to Earth fetishes.


----------



## Hinalle K. (Oct 17, 2013)

Deo said:


> Yes, and facial hair is frowned upon and seen as dirty and lazy.


I wonder if one can get away with keeping it by claiming Jesus had long hair or something, lol.
You'd think in a society where most of their male divine figures are depicted with long hair and beards, people would be more accepting of it


----------



## RedSavage (Oct 17, 2013)

Deo said:


> I'm rather shy about it.



I always figured you would be the type to be unable to decide which one you would want, closely examining both until you get to the counter, tossing the oblong shape you didn't want into the bucket display of lube while loudly proclaiming, "Yeah, I guess this one will get the job done tonight."

Well we're all wrong about something. 



Deo said:


> I wish this was true. I've always wanted short hair. But if I even so much as mention _thinking _about  cutting my hair shorter I hear things like "Are you trying to look like  a dyke?", "People will think you are a man", "This is why men aren't  attracted to you/this is why no one will ever love you". So no, the  "spunky with short hair" is only applicable to petite, thin, ultra  feminine looking women with sharp angular features. The rest of us are  seen as cross dressing fat fucks. I got so much shit when I cut my hair a  little shorter than the tops of my shoulders when I donated my hair for  cancer wigs. For months people would dramatically sigh, flick it, and  say things like "Thank God you're growing it back!"



Aaaaa damn that fucking sucks. Yeah I guess there's always that double standard--only if you're part of the _super sexy Maxim/Playboy club_. Guys can only go without shirts if they're fit and trim. Only sexy girls should wear booty shorts. Etc. 

See, I find people who defy gender roles attractive, mentally and physically. Or, at the very least, I admire guy who isn't afraid to flip his hair or a girl that isn't afraid to flex her wrench muscles. It pisses me off greatly to see someone put down for being manly/girly in a way that turns off admirers since all you ever hear about is _how we're supposed to be above miniscule shit like that anyways. _



Corto said:


> I dunno, I suppose it may  be just me, but I've always loved girls with short hair, and body type never really factored into it.



Amen brother, but thou doth not ...walketh alone-th....?


----------



## Corto (Oct 17, 2013)

"Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall have no fear, for thou art a sexy short haired girl and art kinda distracting me from the shadows and the deaths."


----------



## Tailmon1 (Oct 17, 2013)

Digs through her purse. Hum.....
Well its official I don't have any Condoms in it. I used to carry a few for that just 
in case situation because men rarely have protection. Still I guess I'll have to buy
some again. The last ones were given to me at the bar as part of a national Safe 
Sex campaign and Believe me I practice it. Considering my crazy past and what I have
done I would have died if I had not.


----------



## Inciatus (Oct 17, 2013)

We can have a people who like short haired women party!


Hinalle K. said:


> I wonder if one can get away with keeping it by claiming Jesus had long hair or something, lol.
> You'd think in a society where most of their male divine figures are depicted with long hair and beards, people would be more accepting of it


That is an interesting point. I suppose then it depends on who you are working for. Even then I think most people are still a no on that. Though not emulating a religious figure, many people I've seen grow their hair out for charity have been forced to cut it to have shorter hair. Many places are much stricter on the hair regulations of males. 

However, there are certain times that it could be a safety issue but they could just pull their hair back.

Your comments reminded me of a student we had on campus that was known as Segway Jesus because he looked how Jesus is commonly depicted and rode a Segway.


----------



## Arshes Nei (Oct 17, 2013)

Actually if you're of a certain ethnicity, if you have long hair it's obviously fake or a weave.


----------



## Fay V (Oct 17, 2013)

Deo said:


> Oh god.
> 
> 
> I wish this was true. I've always wanted short hair. But if I even so much as mention _thinking _about  cutting my hair shorter I hear things like "Are you trying to look like  a dyke?", "People will think you are a man", "This is why men aren't  attracted to you/this is why no one will ever love you". So no, the  "spunky with short hair" is only applicable to petite, thin, ultra  feminine looking women with sharp angular features. The rest of us are  seen as cross dressing fat fucks. I got so much shit when I cut my hair a  little shorter than the tops of my shoulders when I donated my hair for  cancer wigs. For months people would dramatically sigh, flick it, and  say things like "Thank God you're growing it back!"


When I cute my hair short I got much the same reaction from people "it looks ugly, why would you do that, you look gay, I wish you would grow it out"
I said fuck it, I like my short hair, I like showing off my ear piercing, if people think it makes me look like a lesbian all the better for me, i'm not looking for random fuck dudes anyway. 

but no, if it doesn't fall into the playboy/maxim/celeb style it isn't good enough for anyone. male or female. 



Hinalle K. said:


> funny thing, most workplaces in the western world forbid men from having long hair, right?



Except the humanities! ponytails and beard errywhere!


----------



## Inciatus (Oct 17, 2013)

Fay V said:


> Except the humanities! ponytails and beard errywhere!


I forgot about them.


----------



## Schwimmwagen (Oct 17, 2013)

Deo said:


> I wish this was true. I've always wanted short hair. But if I even so much as mention _thinking _about  cutting my hair shorter I hear things like "Are you trying to look like  a dyke?", "People will think you are a man", "This is why men aren't  attracted to you/this is why no one will ever love you". So no, the  "spunky with short hair" is only applicable to petite, thin, ultra  feminine looking women with sharp angular features. The rest of us are  seen as cross dressing fat fucks. I got so much shit when I cut my hair a  little shorter than the tops of my shoulders when I donated my hair for  cancer wigs. For months people would dramatically sigh, flick it, and  say things like "Thank God you're growing it back!"



Fuck them, I say go for it. Chicks with short hair are the best things since sliced bread.

Yes it is a thing that I have a funny personal preference for, like Corto, but that matters not. Same with the opinions of others.



Inciatus said:


> We can have a people who like short haired women party!



This is now a shorthair thread

Observe this specimen. One fails to spot lesbianism, but instead a beautiful comrade in arms.


----------



## Inciatus (Oct 17, 2013)

Gibby said:


> Fuck them, I say go for it. Chicks with short hair are the best things since sliced bread.
> 
> Yes it is a thing that I have a funny personal preference for, like Corto, but that matters not. Same with the opinions of others.


I don't think I would go that far. Sliced bread is pretty damn sexy.


----------



## Schwimmwagen (Oct 17, 2013)

Inciatus said:


> I don't think I would go that far. Sliced bread is pretty damn sexy.



*sliced hair


----------



## Corto (Oct 17, 2013)

Inciatus said:


> I don't think I would go that far. Sliced bread is pretty damn sexy.


Bloody pansexuals and their dirty perversions.


----------



## Inciatus (Oct 17, 2013)

Gibby said:


> *sliced hair


No. Sliced hair is great but doesn't compare to sliced bread.


----------



## Schwimmwagen (Oct 17, 2013)

Inciatus said:


> No. Sliced hair is great but doesn't compare to sliced bread.



I always preferred long bread, tbh.


----------



## Aleu (Oct 17, 2013)

I feel the odd one out. My mom constantly bitches about how my hair is too long and that it needs to be this ridiculously short-haired celebrity style and fails to understand that Florida's humidity does not do well with my hair. I don't want to look like a poodle.


----------



## Schwimmwagen (Oct 17, 2013)

Aleu said:


> I feel the odd one out. My mom constantly bitches about how my hair is too long and that it needs to be this ridiculously short-haired celebrity style and fails to understand that Florida's humidity does not do well with my hair. I don't want to look like a poodle.



I have a similar problem. For some reason, my hair tends to look better when it goes slightly oily after it's been straightened which tends to make it bypass the poofiness problems.

My disgusting secret.


----------



## Inciatus (Oct 17, 2013)

Gibby said:


> I always preferred long bread, tbh.


That is true those are great too. Still better than short hair.


Aleu said:


> I feel the odd one out. My mom constantly bitches about how my hair is too long and that it needs to be this ridiculously short-haired celebrity style and fails to understand that Florida's humidity does not do well with my hair.


Well then it also depends on how short it is. My mother and sister have similar problems with the humidity making their hair all frazzley. Though their hair is usually around shoulder length +_ a couple inches. If the hair is shorter (like pixie cuts I think they're called) it doesn't seem to be as much an issue.


> I don't want to look like a poodle.


but that sounds adorable


----------



## Aleu (Oct 17, 2013)

Inciatus said:


> Well then it also depends on how short it is. My mother and sister have similar problems with the humidity making their hair all frazzley. Though their hair is usually around shoulder length +_ a couple inches. If the hair is shorter (like pixie cuts I think they're called) it doesn't seem to be as much an issue.


It's like, just below my ears type of short. Shit drives me crazy. I can't put it in a pony-tail and I can't straighten it that well.



Inciatus said:


> but that sounds adorable



No, poodles are awful and ugly.


----------



## Inciatus (Oct 17, 2013)

Aleu said:


> It's like, just below my ears type of short. Shit drives me crazy. I can't put it in a pony-tail and I can't straighten it that well.


I can see how that would be an issue.


----------



## Dire Newt (Oct 17, 2013)

Aleu said:


> No, poodles are awful and ugly.



But they're smart, so it's a decent trade-off. They're like the college professors of the dog world.


----------



## BRN (Oct 17, 2013)

Somehow I feel that hair treatment products are less embarrassing to buy than lube, unless they're one and the same.


----------



## Aleu (Oct 17, 2013)

BRN said:


> Somehow I feel that hair treatment products are less embarrassing to buy than lube, unless they're one and the same.



Does it count if the male is buying "female" hair treatment products and/or vice versa?


----------



## Schwimmwagen (Oct 17, 2013)

BRN said:


> Somehow I feel that hair treatment products are less embarrassing to buy than lube, unless they're one and the same.



What about the ones that come in phallic tubes


----------



## Inciatus (Oct 17, 2013)

Aleu said:


> Does it count if the male is buying "female" hair treatment products and/or vice versa?


Even that I don't nearly being as awkward as what we were discussing earlier.


Gibby said:


> What about the ones that come in phallic tubes


Well if you remember a while back we had a discussion about weapons being phallic and we were trying to find something that couldn't be construed as phallic. A vagina was the closest thing we got to that wasn't phallic. Everything else we could argue was (just sometimes it was a phallus that was hit with a hammer repeatedly).


----------



## BRN (Oct 17, 2013)

Gibby said:


> What about the ones that come in phallic tubes


I shit you not, I have yet to see a dildo-shaped shampoo bottle.

I have only seen 'dildo-shaped shampoo bottle'-shaped dildos.



Aleu said:


> Does it count if the male is buying "female" hair treatment products and/or vice versa?


I guess that could just be the whole gender roles thing? I don't really ever suffer from embarrassment when buying these sorts of things, myself. I wouldn't know even how to talk about it. x3
Especially in an adolescent demographic, males treating their hair is pretty much an accepted norm, here.


----------



## Aleu (Oct 17, 2013)

BRN said:


> I shit you not, I have yet to see a dildo-shaped shampoo bottle.
> 
> I have only seen 'dildo-shaped shampoo bottle'-shaped dildos.


...whaa?




BRN said:


> I guess that could just be the whole gender roles thing? I don't really ever suffer from embarrassment when buying these sorts of things, myself. I wouldn't know even how to talk about it. x3
> Especially in an adolescent demographic, males treating their hair is pretty much an accepted norm, here.



There was gender role talk about guys buying dildos and such like that. Fuck if I know I'm lost because this thread got big too fast.
Plus I think it proves the point that some people are just not comfortable talking about their sexual adventures.

that and i hate feeling like the only person who has never bought a dildo or used one.


----------



## Corto (Oct 17, 2013)

> Especially in an adolescent demographic, males treating their hair is pretty much an accepted norm, here.


Yeah, and even if it wasn't, "buying it for my girlfriend/sister/woman I have in the trunk of my car" is a pretty acceptable excuse. If someone seriously thinks that buying shampoo is as embarrasing as buying a dildo, I'll just assume they have never left their house.


----------



## Schwimmwagen (Oct 17, 2013)

Aleu said:


> that and i hate feeling like the only person who has never bought a dildo or used one.



are you insinuating that I have a dildo


----------



## Inciatus (Oct 17, 2013)

Aleu said:


> that and i hate feeling like the only person who has never bought a dildo or used one.


I have not.


Gibby said:


> are you insinuating that I have a dildo


Yes.


----------



## Corto (Oct 17, 2013)

I'll throw my lot with the "I don't have a dildo what the hell dude" crowd.


----------



## Kazooie (Oct 17, 2013)

Corto said:


> Yeah, and even if it wasn't, "buying it for my girlfriend/sister/woman I have in the trunk of my car" is a pretty acceptable excuse. If someone seriously thinks that buying shampoo is as embarrasing as buying a dildo, I'll just assume they have never left their house.


"Yeah, I'm buying this dildo for my sister; you know how it is, eh?"
I guess it just isn't the same, huh.

I have never bought a dildo myself, but I have crocheted one, so I sort of own one (?)


----------



## Aleu (Oct 17, 2013)

Corto said:


> Yeah, and even if it wasn't, "buying it for my girlfriend/sister/woman I have in the trunk of my car" is a pretty acceptable excuse. If someone seriously thinks that buying shampoo is as embarrasing as buying a dildo, I'll just assume they have never left their house.


I never said it was just as embarrassing :/



Gibby said:


> are you insinuating that I have a dildo



just because it's bought doesn't mean you have one. It could be for a friend as a gag gift or whatever.


----------



## Schwimmwagen (Oct 17, 2013)

Kazooie said:


> "Yeah, I'm buying this dildo for my sister; you know how it is, eh?"
> I guess it just isn't the same, huh.



I had to pick up and look after a package containing my sister's dildo.

I'm a good brother.


----------



## Arshes Nei (Oct 17, 2013)

Aleu said:


> I feel the odd one out. My mom constantly bitches about how my hair is too long and that it needs to be this ridiculously short-haired celebrity style and fails to understand that Florida's humidity does not do well with my hair. I don't want to look like a poodle.



I dunno, my mom tries to cut mine short, or straighten it because it's very curly. Fuck that. I'm tired of how people can't leave Blacks hair alone, it's bad being kinky curly or whatnot (and to me it's not, it's cool and different). I don't go around telling other groups to go curl their hair and get perms. If a white person has curly hair they must be part Black


----------



## Corto (Oct 17, 2013)

I used to have curly hair and I fucking hated it. Now I'm old and hairless and I miss it.


----------



## PastryOfApathy (Oct 17, 2013)

Corto said:


> I used to have curly hair and I fucking hated it. Now I'm old and hairless and I miss it.



May I propose a moment of silence in honor of Corto's hair?


----------



## Dire Newt (Oct 17, 2013)

PastryOfApathy said:


> May I propose a moment of silence in honor of Corto's hair?



Agreed. We all need time to mourn this tragic loss.

...

...so uh... can we still post?


----------



## Hinalle K. (Oct 17, 2013)

Corto said:


> I used to have curly hair and I fucking hated it. Now I'm old and hairless and I miss it.



Ahahaha, pubehead!


----------



## PastryOfApathy (Oct 17, 2013)

Dire Newt said:


> Agreed. We all need time to mourn this tragic loss.
> 
> ...
> 
> ...so uh... can we still post?



Only if it's in comically tiny font.


----------



## Hinalle K. (Oct 17, 2013)

PastryOfApathy said:


> Only if it's in comically tiny font.



Oh, my bad.

Ahahaha, pubehead!


----------



## KlassBeta (Oct 17, 2013)

Arshes Nei said:


> Blow up dolls look pretty creepy though lol. At least the replica of the phallus has a little smiley face like a more friendly goomba



Not to take any seriousness away from the topic on hand, but uh... Yeah. I agree. Especially when my brother bought one as a joke. That thing gave me nightmares for two days.

To contribute -- sex was really never a big deal unless it was homosexual things. It's not really something people care about here. Employees just want to leave, they don't care whoever you're knocking up. However, from what I heard from pals in other parts of the world, the 'talk' is a pretty big thing.

I can't say from experience mainly because I haven't been 'out' to my parents. But. I understand that buying condoms could be weird for people who are doing it for the first time. But after that time -- and when you come to realize that it's not a big deal -- people just thing 'oh, I have to go do that again' and act completely normal about it.

EDIT: So I came to realize I replied to a post on the FIRST PAGE. MY BAD.


----------



## Percy (Oct 17, 2013)

Kazooie said:


> I have never bought a dildo myself, but I have crocheted one, so I sort of own one (?)


I uh
How does that even work


----------



## PastryOfApathy (Oct 17, 2013)

Percy said:


> I uh
> How does that even work



Well you see, you take some yarn and some sticks...


----------



## Kazooie (Oct 17, 2013)

Percy said:


> I uh
> How does that even work


Pick a thin, slightly flexible base, then create a couple layers of (start with a magic ring):

6sc, 2in1 to 12, 2in1 to 18, 1in2 to 12, [...12sc until desired length is reached] 

I had a bunch of spare condoms that didn't fit around, so I just used up those over time vOv


----------



## Percy (Oct 17, 2013)

Kazooie said:


> Pick a thin, slightly flexible base, then create a couple layers of (start with a magic ring):
> 
> 6sc, 2in1 to 12, 2in1 to 18, 1in2 to 12, [...12sc until desired length is reached]
> 
> I had a bunch of spare condoms that didn't fit around, so I just used up those over time vOv


Now I know how to crotchet a dildo.

Except I don't know how to crotchet. Nor have any condoms.
oh my god I've become more perverted than usual somebody help me


----------



## Kazooie (Oct 17, 2013)

Percy said:


> Now I know how to crotchet a dildo.
> 
> Except I don't know how to crotchet. Nor have any condoms.
> oh my god I've become more perverted than usual somebody help me


It's seriously not worth it unless you have a bunch of murderous rubbers lying around, ahahaha

But you *can* get some pretty neat shapes if you do some fancy hookwork.


----------



## Jags (Oct 17, 2013)

Just the image of an old biddy sitting there knitting

'Watcha knitting Gran?'
'A dildo dear'

You'd be scarred for life if it were your grandmother.


----------



## Kosdu (Oct 17, 2013)

Kazooie said:


> It's seriously not worth it unless you have a bunch of murderous rubbers lying around, ahahaha
> 
> But you *can* get some pretty neat shapes if you do some fancy hookwork.



I actually really want to see this, could you post a pic of it?


----------



## Aggybyte (Oct 17, 2013)

My stepmother knows what gets me off... EMBARRASSMENT!!!!!! Although having some store clerk that you don't know find out... eh I can deal with that.


----------



## Conker (Oct 17, 2013)

Short hair on women can be super sexy. I know that's a few pages ago, but I want to chime that in.


----------



## Jabberwocky (Oct 17, 2013)

Conker said:


> Short hair on women can be super sexy. I know that's a few pages ago, but I want to chime that in.



hell yes it is 0w0


----------



## Kazooie (Oct 17, 2013)

Kosdu said:


> I actually really want to see this, could you post a pic of it?


SSJ1 form. Not really much to write home about, but eh. It was pretty formidable after it powered up a couple times. Got a proper replacement for it today, thanks to this thread. God damnit.


----------



## Wither (Oct 18, 2013)

Arshes Nei said:


> Sounds like Saint's Row...


It may have been used to slap people. 
I find it to be so goddamn hilarious. I am a terribly immature idiot. But like I said, being an idiot can be so much fun. 


Inciatus said:


> The image I have now is quite adorable.


Floppy dildos and waffles? 
That's, like, a normal monday.


----------

