# Funniest Movie Lines!



## Ffzzynxnynxxyninx (Aug 21, 2010)

I'm watching Mr. Woodcock right now and I just heard one of the funniest lines I've heard in a while. It was in the beginning scene where everyone is in the gym, and one of the kids is having an asthma attack, so he's breathing heavily. Mr. Woodcock looks over at him and says,

"Oats, I can hear you wheezing from here. Take a lap. Lose the asthma." 

X3 maybe it's not as funny when it's typed 

Neway, post your favorite funny movie lines!


----------



## Jw (Aug 21, 2010)

"It did sound a little wet, there didn't it? Right at the end! Oooh! Heh heh heh. Let's have a smell, all right? Oh, everyone likes their own brand, don't they? Oh, this is magic! Hmmm, wafting, wafting. Ok, analysis. Ooh, smells like carrots in throw-up! Oh that could gag a maggot! It smells like hot sick ass in a dead carcass! Even stink would say that stinks! You know when you go into an apartment building and you smell the other people's cooking on each floor and you go "What are they cookin'?" That, plus crap!"
--Austin Powers in Goldmember

"Mr. Wonka, they won't really be burned in the furnace, will they?"
 "Well, I think that furnace is only lit every other day, so they have a good sporting chance, haven't they?"
--Willy Wonka


----------



## Joeyyy (Aug 21, 2010)

All of Stepbrothers.  enough said.


----------



## ArielMT (Aug 21, 2010)

Policeman: "Sir, are you classified as human?"
Korben Dallas: "Uh, negative, I am a meat Popsicle."

-- The Fifth Element


----------



## Cam (Aug 21, 2010)

Basically anything said in Airplane!


----------



## Blue Cup (Aug 22, 2010)

_"One time, we successfully mated a bulldog with a Shih-Tzu.  Yeah, we called it a bullshit"
_-Harry Dunne, Dumb & Dumber

Me and my nephew can basically recite the entire movie. XD


----------



## ArielMT (Aug 22, 2010)

Roy: "Hey, I hope you don't mind, I got up a little early, so I took the liberty of milking your cow for you. Yeah, it took a little while to get her warmed up, she sure is a stubborn one, then pow all at once."
Roy drinks some more from the bucket.  The Amish are disgusted by the sight.
Mr. Boorg: "We don't have a cow.  We have a bull."
Roy (realizing what he's drinking): "I'm gonna brush my teeth."

-- Kingpin


----------



## A10pex (Aug 22, 2010)

GET TO THE CHOPPA!!!


----------



## Minuet (Aug 22, 2010)

Mal's "What was that?" at the very end of _Serenity_ was priceless.


----------



## Nineteen-TwentySeven (Aug 22, 2010)

"It's 106 miles to Chicago, we've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses." "Hit it."
-The Blues Brothers

It may not be legitimately funny, but it always makes me laugh.

Also, although it may not be a _movie_ line, The Doctors "wat?" at the beginning of "Voyage of the Damned" was priceless.
See this video.


----------



## Gavrill (Aug 22, 2010)

ArielMT said:


> Policeman: "Sir, are you classified as human?"
> Korben Dallas: "Uh, negative, I am a meat Popsicle."
> 
> -- The Fifth Element


 You are the best mod


----------



## Jw (Aug 22, 2010)

cmrnmrphy said:


> Basically anything said in Airplane!


 This, deadpan humor is great.

"You ever been in a Turkish Prison?"

It's an entirely different kind of funny all together
It's an entirely different kind of funny


----------



## Twylyght (Aug 22, 2010)

cmrnmrphy said:


> Basically anything said in Airplane!



^ This.  This movie still makes me laugh.

"You'd better tell the captain to land as soon as we can.  This woman has to be gotten to a hospital."
"A hospital!? What is it?"
"It's a big building with patients, but that's not important right now."


----------



## Aleu (Aug 22, 2010)

"I have nipples Focker, can you milk me?"
-Meet the Parents


----------



## DarkAssassinFurry (Aug 23, 2010)

Any phrase from Ace Ventura. Hell, from any comedy with Jim Carrey.


----------

