# Strangest way you ever injured yourself?



## Jw (Nov 13, 2010)

If any of you knew me, you'd find out I'm pretty clumsy or accident-prone. I don't necessarily fall all the time, but I find ironic ways to get cuts, scrapes, bruises, etc. Well, I got inspired to make this thread after remembering how I broke a couple toes on a vacuum cleaner.

Other things I've done:
*cut my hand with a plastic orange skin peeler
*got a papercut from a band-aid
*cut my hand with a bagel (seriously)
*getting a massive bruise on my foot after dropping an icepack out of my freezer.
* broke 2 toes on a shop-vac in my basement


So basically, post your funny story of getting injured on something that shouldn't be so dangerous. 

Or you can just laugh at me, that's cool too. And believe me, those aren't all the stories about myself.


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## Xenke (Nov 13, 2010)

I got a papercut from a cardboard box.

Also, I tripped and somehow managed to scrape the skin off the top of two of my toes.

Also, I cut my finger with a hatchet.

Also, today I cut my hand with MY OWN FINGERNAIL.


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## Willow (Nov 13, 2010)

During marching band practice one time as I was walking past a bass drum, I brushed up against a piece of metal sticking out on one side of it and it cut me pretty deep. I was walking around school for about a week or two with gauze wrapped around my arm. 


jwmcd2 said:


> *got a papercut from a band-aid


 This is some really sad irony.


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## Zenia (Nov 13, 2010)

Once when I was about 8, it was Halloween. I ran out to the gate (as that is where we were handing out candy in the townhouse) to hand out some candy. I wanted to feel grown up and do that chore until it was time to go out myself. I left the sliding glass door open and when I was out, my stepdad closed it. I didn't realize that and the door still looked open so I went running into it at full tilt. Knocked myself out for a half hour. I came too and everyone was STILL laughing at me.

I have a bruise on my leg right now, and I have no idea what happened.


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## Jude (Nov 13, 2010)

One time, my drumstick flew into my eye and I swear it was tearing up so badly I couldn't see for like 15 minutes.


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## Jw (Nov 13, 2010)

Willow said:


> During marching band practice one time as I was walking past a bass drum, I brushed up against a piece of metal sticking out on one side of it and it cut me pretty deep. I was walking around school for about a week or two with gauze wrapped around my arm.
> 
> This is some really sad irony.


 Yeah, I got a scrape like that from a wheelchair I had to use temporarily as a kid. Turns out I got a freakish allergic reaction to penicillin that took away my ability to walk and caused my kidneys to shut down for a time. Got the wheelchair so I could still go out in public, then I got a deep scrape on my leg from the foot support. I win at life :V

And that bandaid was actually for another person, but it's still full of lovely irony.



Xenke said:


> Also, today I cut my hand with MY OWN FINGERNAIL.


 That takes skill.



Zenia said:


> Once when I was about 8, it was Halloween. I ran out to the gate (as that is where we were handing out candy in the townhouse) to hand out some candy. I wanted to feel grown up and do that chore until it was time to go out myself. I left the sliding glass door open and when I was out, my stepdad closed it. I didn't realize that and the door still looked open so I went running into it at full tilt. Knocked myself out for a half hour. I came too and everyone was STILL laughing at me.
> 
> I have a bruise on my leg right now, and I have no idea what happened.


 
Lol, I ran into a door like that too, but I didn't get knocked out. You must have had some good momentum going.


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## The DK (Nov 13, 2010)

Yeah ...Paper cut on a box
Papercut in between the nails for going into a box for something
I nailed my toe and the nail came off when i was running up stairs
Brushed across a shelf at work and go stabbed by a nail


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## Aden (Nov 13, 2010)

I broke my ankle

while golfing

\But I can truthfully say I have a sports injury which is manly as fuck


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## Xenke (Nov 13, 2010)

Aden said:


> I broke my ankle
> 
> while golfing
> 
> \But I can truthfully say I have a sports injury which is manly as fuck


 
Wow.

How did you manage that?

Did you step in the hole?


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## Willow (Nov 13, 2010)

Xenke said:


> Wow.
> 
> How did you manage that?
> 
> Did you step in the hole?


 No no no, he obviously hit himself with his own club.


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## Jw (Nov 13, 2010)

Willow said:


> No no no, he obviously hit himself with his own club.


 
Correction: attacked by a renegade caddy with nothing to lose


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## Zenia (Nov 13, 2010)

jwmcd2 said:


> You must have had some good momentum going.


Yep. I was running as fast as an 8 year old could with no knowledge the door was really closed. >__<


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## Schwimmwagen (Nov 13, 2010)

I broke my foot sitting down on a picnic mat when drunk.


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## CaptainCool (Nov 13, 2010)

i dont really injure myself very often...
the strangest thing was probably cutting off an about 3 mm thick piece of the top of my thumb with an electric bread cutter. thats not that bad but the funny part is that i managed to do that again on the same thumb after it was healed :V
like i said in my hobbies thread, ive always been a huge klutz^^


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## Heliophobic (Nov 13, 2010)

Sprained my foot by tripping on my other foot.


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## Aden (Nov 13, 2010)

Xenke said:


> Wow.
> 
> How did you manage that?
> 
> Did you step in the hole?


 


Willow said:


> No no no, he obviously hit himself with his own club.


 


jwmcd2 said:


> Correction: attacked by a renegade caddy with nothing to lose


 
It was early morning, sun has barely risen. Was walking down a steep hill from a green, slipped on the dew. Woo


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## slydude851 (Nov 13, 2010)

threw down a game controller out of RAEG and it bounced up and hit me in my groin and hurt for 15 minutes
cut my hand on an invisible string... however that is possible
a friend of mine did this one: slammed right into the wall because they took too sharp of a turn while having their face burried in their phone texting


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## Smelge (Nov 13, 2010)

Cracked several ribs, sprained muscles in my neck, broke a small bone in my hand and got concussion by crashing on practice day at a downhill race. I then drugged myself up on painkillers and raced the next day regardless. It cost Â£30 to enter, and if I went to hospital, I wouldn't have been able to race.

Or, had an odd accident with a wet root, where my front wheel slid out on the root, and I fell on to the end of the handlebars, so it went right in to my gut. Tore a muscle in there, which ended up with a big knot of scarred muscle under the skin and an inability to lift stuff for a few months.

Or the time I broke two bones in my right hand while dealing with an Easyjet 'Helpdesk'. They were not helpful, the desk is not a softwood, and when they are filming their reality tv show, they sneak the release forms in with the rebooking forms, so you get your flight, having paid double again, plus they trick you into appearing on their show as yet another angry customer.

Or, there's the bone I broke a few months ago while just cycling, without crashing. I chipped my left middle finger bone at the base, so there's a lump of free-floating bone which has trapped itself under some nerves.

Or, there was the time I was doing an Urban DH race in Wales, slipped out on some cobbles, put my foot down to maintain balance, and compressed my knee, so I had to stop at every service area on the way home, because driving was agony.

I'm good with weird injuries.


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## 00vapour (Nov 13, 2010)

cutting my head after doing a kramer-slide into a wall-corner and requiring stitches

being woken up by my dry-erase board falling on my face and then straining my right hamstring


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## rainingdarkness (Nov 13, 2010)

Hmm.
I sliced my wrist open to the muscle when I smacked a non-tempered window to scare a friend's dog inside. Luckily I managed to miss the tendons and any important veins, I fucking write with that hand. >:U Still have the scar. That one took eight stitches.
I scratched my cornea in my sleep, and had to wear an eye patch for a week afterward.
I sliced my finger open because the tab fell into the pop can after I bent it off, and I tried to reach in for it. Almost needed stitches for that. |D


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## Pine (Nov 13, 2010)

When I was little, I started playing the Gamecube they had in the game section of KMart. Of course, the controllers are always damaged at stores and the rubber wasn't on the left control stick, so I cut my thumb.

Another time I was caught passing a note in class and the teacher took it. I thought she was going to read it out loud and I was so nervous that I bit my tongue until it bled.


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## Randy-Darkshade (Nov 13, 2010)

1: cut my finger with a knife while cutting cable when I was about ten.

2: Cut my finger wide open with a Stanly knife, up the side of my finger, across the top at an angle and through the finger nail into the nail bed, took me two hours to get that bastard to stop bleeding.

3: messing around with a stapler. I had my thumb over where the stapes come out while lightly clicking the stapler but not hard enough to press a staple through, then I got sidetracked and clicked the stapler hard putting a staple in the end of my thumb. Then I sat there in class and just pulled it out.


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## Xenke (Nov 13, 2010)

I forgot.

Ever so often I'll stretch to intensely to the point where my legs buckle from pain. Fuck you leg muscles, I'm tired, fucking make sure I don't hurt myself by yourselves.


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## Kit H. Ruppell (Nov 13, 2010)

When I was 8, I was firing some weird gun in Maine that combined a wooden rifle stock with a pistol grip. I aimed through the scope and took the shot. I guess I wasn't holding onto it very tightly, because the eyepiece came back and hit me in the eye socket. That was painful.


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## Smelge (Nov 13, 2010)

RandyDarkshade said:


> 1: cut my finger with a knife while cutting cable when I was about ten.


 
Aha. I did that with a penknife. Cutting cardboard, need a bit of pressure, to cut it, so using my thumb to exert force. Wait a second, I'm trying to cut with the blunt side, and I'm pushing the sharp side. Fuck.

In my defence, I was young.


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## Randy-Darkshade (Nov 13, 2010)

Xenke said:


> I forgot.
> 
> Ever so often I'll stretch to intensely to the point where my legs buckle from pain. Fuck you leg muscles, I'm tired, fucking make sure I don't hurt myself by yourselves.



the only body part on me that gives me issues is my right knee. it plays up on an as and when basis, as and when it feels like it. Last week while I was at dads I knelt down on the floor and obviously knelt on my right knee wrong (the bad one) cause I felt it go "click" and then a short pain. My right knee does that a lot if I don't kneel on it in a specific way.



Smelge said:


> Aha. I did that with a penknife. Cutting  cardboard, need a bit of pressure, to cut it, so using my thumb to exert  force. Wait a second, I'm trying to cut with the blunt side, and I'm  pushing the sharp side. Fuck.
> 
> In my defence, I was young.



I was young and didn't know how to use a knife safely, not wise to cut towards you and always keep fingers clear of cutting area.


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## Xenke (Nov 13, 2010)

RandyDarkshade said:


> the only body part on me that gives me issues is my right knee. it plays up on an as and when basis, as and when it feels like it. Last week while I was at dads I knelt down on the floor and obviously knelt on my right knee wrong (the bad one) cause I felt it go "click" and then a short pain. My right knee does that a lot if I don't kneel on it in a specific way.


 
My left hip likes to cramp up when my leg is in certain positions.

Makes me feel old...


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## Jw (Nov 13, 2010)

Oh yeah, just thought about this one. The other day, I sneezed and felt my shoulder come out of joint. Stupid joint problems...

I was also hiking beside a river/stream one time in the Appalachian mountains of NC. Came to a place with a steep step-up. So I took it and afterwards found out I had pulled a pelvic muscle. (I realize I'm leaving myself open for ridicule for sharing this one). That was an awkward and difficult walk for the rest of the day. The following day, I pulled the opposite muscle on my left side.

Also, (not exactly an injury), I once had my knee give out on me while walking downhill on a sidewalk at middle school. Did a complete somersault, and rose immediately back to standing position and kept walking nonchalantly. Noone saw me except a friend. I thought it was hilarious, and so did he.


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## Cam (Nov 13, 2010)

I once sliced open my fingers trying to cut off a wire-tie with a steak knife ._.

Whats good, intelligence


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## Catilda Lily (Nov 13, 2010)

I rode my bike down a steep hill with a 4 or 5 foot drop at the bottom...I forgot my brakes didn't work.
When I was young I was cutting string with safty scissors and cut my thumb.
I ripped part of my pinky fingernail off jumping off a swing.


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## pakthewosky (Nov 13, 2010)

Dropped a shovel on my toe. XD


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## Kreevox (Nov 13, 2010)

paper cut on from cardboard, hit myself in the upper jaw with a rather large wrench, pinched a nut while adjusting myself (happens all the time)


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## MisterJay124 (Nov 14, 2010)

While I was "exploring" the automotive trade at my school, out of all of the things I could have hurt myself with, I wound up pinching my finger on a stapler causing it to bleed.


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## Commiecomrade (Nov 14, 2010)

Willow said:


> This is some really sad irony.


 
At least he has the thing he needs instantly.

I bought those heelies some time ago. My very first push off ended in wrist fracture.
I was running in socks up a minipipe. It was the only time I wasn't on a scooter or skateboard. Wrist fracture (on the other hand).


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## 00vapour (Nov 14, 2010)

Commiecomrade said:


> I bought those heelies some time ago. My very first push off ended in wrist fracture.
> I was running in socks up a minipipe. It was the only time I wasn't on a scooter or skateboard. Wrist fracture (on the other hand).


 
I hate those things, I'm sure you are one of a vast amount of people that ended up with horrible wrist injuries form wearing them.

...Imagine though, what would happen if you wore them on a scooter.


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## Jude (Nov 14, 2010)

I stapled my arm once, thinking it wouldn't actually staple.


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## Xavan (Nov 14, 2010)

I actually was screwing around on my trampoline at the age of 9, and I made one huge jump and expected to fall on the ground, but instead a huge exercise ball comes out no where and rams me into a tree in mid-air.


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## RockTheFur (Nov 14, 2010)

I tripped on an ice cube that my friend through at me. I ended up cutting my leg open on the edge of my in-ground pool.


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## zallens177 (Nov 14, 2010)

Had a pencil in my armpit and I sorta squat/bented over to pick something up and it jabbed my leg and now I gotta piece of graphite stuck in my lower thigh. Also I got graphite stuck in both my hands at some point (all accidents)


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## rainingdarkness (Nov 14, 2010)

Ah, Xavan's post made me remember. I was jumping on a trampoline when I was in middle school at a friend's house, and landed with both legs through the springs (spring, leg, spring, leg, spring). I'm sure it would have hurt a hell of a lot more if I were a guy. As it was, I think I only got a few scrapes.


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## Xavan (Nov 14, 2010)

Rainingdarkness's post reminded of another one too. I was doing a ropes obstacle course, and I had this ladder on steroids. It swung, the bars were 6ft wooden planks set at least 5 feet apart, going up to about 30 ft into the air. So I get on the last one, and at this point I have to hang upside down and the swing over. Not thinking this over very well, I swing so I'm about at 15 degrees, trying to get to 0 degrees, and I swing slide up and land with all my wieght on my *CRUNCH* *POP*. Then I fall 30 feet.


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## Fenrari (Nov 14, 2010)

I've gashed open the inside of my lip on a particularly hard fortune cookie?


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## Folgrimeo (Nov 14, 2010)

Had my teeth chatter (or an involuntary mouth-close) right when my tongue was sticking out, resulting in biting my tongue so hard it bled.

Or the two times I banged one of my toes on a door frame (I was rushing outside to tell the dog to shut up) so hard that it broke skin and bled.

And I've had a few incidents where I'd be walking down a hallway and didn't notice I was off center enough to bang into the side of a wall. So yes, I've walked into walls even when I could see them.


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## moonchylde (Nov 14, 2010)

Pissed on an electric fence transformer box... twice... in the same night. The second time I was knee-deep in water. 

This was the same night I fell down a twenty-foot embankment, set my leg on fire, was stomped on by my drunk friends in an attempt to put out said leg, was pushed into a half-frozen river in early March, and was nearly decapitated by the flying lid of a quarter-barrel beer keg that someone decided to throw on the ashes of our bonfire. I learned two things that night; the gods really do protect drunks, and I needed a better class of friends to drink with.


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## Qoph (Nov 14, 2010)

Oh boy 

Wedding rehearsal for my aunt, I'm bored because I'm a little kid, so I start playing with forks.  I'm mashing the ends together and suddenly one of them slips and I get a big hole in my thumb.  

Years later, I was playing a handheld Yahtzee game and it pissed me the fuck off, so I took out my pocket knife and stabbed at one of the rubber buttons.  Ended up with a huge gash in my thumb.  Had to lie to my parents about how I got it.

And I still have that Yahtzee game...

EDIT: Remembered when I was real little, reached into a mailbox to grab a 'stick', as some asshole kid told me.  It turned out to be a wasp nest.


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## Valery91Thunder (Nov 14, 2010)

I was little and I was at home trying to learn how to sew. I started sewing on a piece of ragged cloth, then I realized I was sewing the cloth to my fingertip (wasn't even bleeding or feeling paing because I caught only the outer skin).

Another thing, it was Easter, I was at my uncle's house playing with my cousins. We decide to go out and play so we go down the stairs. While going down, I slip on a piece of melted chocolate egg that was on the stairs and I fall off :/ I broke the last bone of my spine this way.

Oh! And recently, I was at school, drawing something on my desk with a marker. The marker didn't dry out so I decided to put on the drawing some transparent tape so I wouldn't ruin the drawing. I start putting tape on it by cutting little pieces with my teeth, when a piece of tape gets stuck to my lip. I rip it away, ripping the lip's skin as well. I didn't realize it at the beginning, but only when I saw that the tape I had just put on the drawing was bleeding.


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## greg-the-fox (Nov 14, 2010)

I was running down the stairs, reached into my pocket to get some gum and slammed my forehead into a pipe. It was a nozzle thing, the end of which was about the thickness of my thumb. Very lucky it didn't put my eye out lol, good thing I wear glasses I guess. Yes, it bled. ._. Took a week for the scratches on my face to go away.

Moral of the story, look where you're going


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## Silverfox2007 (Nov 14, 2010)

Recently, I had a box of film stock break open, dropping six cans of developed film on my left leg and foot. Each can weighed ten pounds, and I ended up with several bruises. I also had to save a $17,000 camera body (the Sony Red One) with $10,000 of equipment and lenses attached when a careless 2nd AC knocked it over while on set. The whole rig, plus tripod, weighed fifteen pounds, and I jammed two fingers on my right hand.


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## Isen (Nov 14, 2010)

Aden said:


> I broke my ankle
> 
> while golfing
> 
> \But I can truthfully say I have a sports injury which is manly as fuck



A friend of mine broke his ankle because of football.

Watching football.  In his living room.  There was an interception and he jumped out of his chair, somehow landing on his ankle weirdly enough to fuck it up.


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## Fenrari (Nov 14, 2010)

Stupid baby time!

When I was two years old I broke out of my playpen got in the kitchen and tipped a pot of boiling water onto my arms  Scalded a lot!


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## Stargazer Bleu (Nov 14, 2010)

I was going to share a jolly rancher stick with someone.

With wrapper still on I snapped it in half and cut my self. Wasn't major but 
I did bleed a little bit. 
Was sore for about half a hour.


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## LLiz (Nov 14, 2010)

> Strangest way you ever injured yourself?



Wankers cramp :S


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## Flurrypaw (Nov 14, 2010)

i would hear a grinding creak whenever I took a step and i thought my hip was messed up for about an hour... I was on a ferry and I would walk back and forth across the deck trying to figure out what was wrong with my hip joint.  Turns out I just had a reversible belt on and the hinge on the buckle would squeak every time i took a step. lol


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## Gavrill (Nov 14, 2010)

Stepping on a zipper and slicing my foot open :1


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## Ibuuyk (Nov 14, 2010)

Being attacked by a ghost.  I guess that's strange enough.


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## Lapdog (Nov 14, 2010)

Falling while walking, and breaking my arm.


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## medjai (Nov 14, 2010)

I have a really bad habit of cutting my knuckle to shit while doing a chiffonade. I really need to work on that...


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## Xavan (Nov 14, 2010)

Ibuuyk said:


> Being attacked by a ghost. I guess that's strange enough.



Ghost's don't attack, only demons.
God, didn't anyone watch paranormal activity? It's completely true. :V


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## Gavrill (Nov 14, 2010)

Xavan said:


> Ghost's don't attack, only demons.
> God, didn't anyone watch paranormal activity? It's completely true. :V


 
No you dummy only poltergeists can hurt you irl gawd


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## Xenke (Nov 14, 2010)

Xavan said:


> Ghost's don't attack, only demons.
> God, didn't anyone watch paranormal activity? It's completely true. :V


 
Panty and Stocking with Garterbelt begs to differ. :V

Also, like, every stupid ghost hunter show on TV.


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## Riley (Nov 14, 2010)

Got my arm torn open by the child safety lock on a van.  That little tab of metal that makes it work?  Turns out those are sharp.  Got a nice, jagged scar from that.  Small cut, though, but it looked really ugly when it happened, what with a big juicy chunk of skin flapping around.  

Just a few weeks ago I cut my toe with a butterknife that was covered in butter.  I'm not even too sure how that happened other than it fell off a plate I was carrying.


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## Randy-Darkshade (Nov 14, 2010)

Lapdog said:


> Falling while walking, and breaking my arm.



I have never broken a bone in my body. Some guy deliberately tried to bust my legs with a baseball bat, well I assumed that was his intentions as most of his swings were concentrated on my legs.



Xenke said:


> Panty and Stocking with Garterbelt begs to differ. :V
> 
> Also, like, every stupid ghost hunter show on TV.



Paranormal Activity was a movie, not a show. :v


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## Xenke (Nov 14, 2010)

RandyDarkshade said:


> Paranormal Activity was a movie, not a show. :v


 
I know, PSG is infinitely better though, and therefor more trustworthy. :V


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## Gavrill (Nov 14, 2010)

RandyDarkshade said:


> I have never broken a bone in my body. Some guy deliberately tried to bust my legs with a baseball bat, well I assumed that was his intentions as most of his swings were concentrated on my legs.


 THIS THREAD IS NOW ABOUT FIGHTS

This one time I got punched so hard by some dude I had a concussion 

I can't blame him though, I was being an idiot and flirting with his girlfriend.


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## Ikrit (Nov 14, 2010)

broke my wrist wrestling with my great grandfather
(he's fucking strong, he used to play baseball and broke bats doing it.)


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## NA3LKER (Nov 14, 2010)

nearly every time ive injured myself its been doing something stupid. i cut the corner off a finger on my right hand with a chisel, i cut my head open on a metal curtain rail (it was fun walking into A and E with my paws coated in congealed blood and my hair matted with it).
what am i missing? oh yeah, stood on an open ring binder, and all 4 claws sank into my sole, and i didnt have any shoes or socks on


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## Randy-Darkshade (Nov 14, 2010)

NA3LKER said:


> nearly every time ive injured myself its been doing something stupid. i cut the corner off a finger on my right hand with a chisel, i cut my head open on a metal curtain rail (it was fun walking into A and E with my _*paws *_coated in congealed blood and my hair matted with it).
> what am i missing? oh yeah, i injured my right wrist quite badly when i jumped off a couch and tried to land on my paws when i was about 10
> and i also sliced my palm on a frikking blister pack when i was 6



Please tell me you didn't just fucking say that.


You are human, you have hands. :v


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## NA3LKER (Nov 14, 2010)

RandyDarkshade said:


> Please tell me you didn't just fucking say that.
> 
> 
> You are human, you have hands. :v



paw can be used to describe hands you know


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## Xenke (Nov 14, 2010)

NA3LKER said:


> nearly every time ive injured myself its been doing something stupid. i cut the corner off a finger on my right hand with a chisel, i cut my head open on a metal curtain rail (it was fun walking into A and E with my paws coated in congealed blood and my hair matted with it).
> what am i missing? oh yeah, stood on an open ring binder, and all 4 claws sank into my sole, and i didnt have any shoes or socks on


 
I used to get slit-your-wrists cuts on my left wrist from crappy three ring binders.

Kids, that's one of the very few reason being left-handed sucks.


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## Randy-Darkshade (Nov 14, 2010)

NA3LKER said:


> paw can be used to describe hands you know



Doesn't change the fact we as humans don't have paws. As far as I know paws don't have palms either. :v

Sorry, I'm just nit picking. A friend of mine and my half sister just pissed me right off and I have noticed I get nit picky when pissed off. v.v

As far as I was aware paw is only a term a furry uses. (Wait, having said that mom used to say "get ya dirty fucking paws off my windows!" when I was kid XD)



Xenke said:


> I used to get slit-your-wrists cuts on my left wrist from crappy three ring binders.
> 
> Kids, that's one of the very few reason being left-handed sucks.



This makes me glad I can be ambidextrous with certain things. I am ambidextrous with my tools, I can use a screw driver or wrench in either hand.


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## Gavrill (Nov 14, 2010)

Don't worry Randy, people saying paws pisses me off if they're furries. Normal people saying it make me giggle, but furries should know better. :1


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## Xenke (Nov 14, 2010)

RandyDarkshade said:


> This makes me glad I can be ambidextrous with certain things. I am ambidextrous with my tools, I can use a screw driver or wrench in either hand.


 
I'm somewhat ambidextrous.

Writing and such is left-handed.
Sports, carrying stuff, anything that needs strength is right-handed.

Exceptions are bowling and tennis.
Bowling feels right in either hand (though they produce different results), and I can play tennis with either hand (helps since I can't backhand to save my life).


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## anotherbloodywolf (Nov 14, 2010)

I got caught up and dragged behind a fisherman whilst in my kayak after I got caught up in some ill-placed mackerel feathers.

I didn't really get injured, I only got a few cuts and tears (which weren't helped by the fact that the sea is so goddamn salty!) but it was pretty unexpected.


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## Gavrill (Nov 14, 2010)

I got my finger caught in one of those child-size plastic rings

I had to get my uncle to get it off with wirecutters

it left a badly bruised part around my finger


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## VoidBat (Nov 14, 2010)

Can't remember.

Though my friend recently got a cut in his right index finger from a sharp piece of dark chocolate. You read it right.


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## NA3LKER (Nov 14, 2010)

VoidBat said:


> Can't remember.
> 
> Though my friend recently got a cut in his right index finger from a sharp piece of dark chocolate. You read it right.



chocolate?


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## Lapdog (Nov 14, 2010)

VoidBat said:


> Can't remember.
> 
> Though my friend recently got a cut in his right index finger from a sharp piece of dark chocolate. You read it right.


 
I heard that dark chocolate is the ultimate laxative.


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## Xenke (Nov 14, 2010)

Lapdog said:


> I heard that dark chocolate is the ultimate laxative.


 
I have never experienced this.

And I've eaten _a lot_ of dark chocolate in one sitting before.


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## Shark_the_raptor (Nov 14, 2010)

Jumped a concrete bump on a bike only to land in gravel and have the bike slide out from under me.  Worst way to land with your butt sliding across gravel.


----------



## Citrakayah (Nov 14, 2010)

Slipped on wet tile while playing frisbee with a tortilla. Bruised my tail bone.


----------



## CynicalCirno (Nov 14, 2010)

I ran into a wall


That hurted my face


Well, actually I ran and stopped at the wall, but I stepped on my shoe and I fell and smashed my face


----------



## The_Lightning_Fox (Nov 14, 2010)

Oh do I have one,  while I was drawing with a ultra fine point pen I sneezed and stabbed my hand with the pen. then I face plated on my desk smearing the drawing. Hurt like hell. >:/


----------



## zallens177 (Nov 14, 2010)

Tore off the taste buds on my tongue with a really cold Icey bar like thing... Hurt pretty bad and bled some ._.


----------



## CrazedPorcupine (Nov 14, 2010)

I cut the top part of my finger off while I was mowing my lawn.
I stopped to unclog the mower before the blades had stopped moving and reached down too far.


----------



## ElizabethAlexandraMary (Nov 14, 2010)

Fenrari said:


> I've gashed open the inside of my lip on a particularly hard fortune cookie?


 No, you haven't.
Or have you? Why are you asking us?


----------



## rainingdarkness (Nov 14, 2010)

My boyfriend got hit in the head with a basketball when he was younger, and it knocked him out for a few seconds. Haha.


----------



## Gavrill (Nov 14, 2010)

rainingdarkness said:


> My boyfriend got hit in the head with a basketball when he was younger, and it knocked him out for a few seconds. Haha.


 
Oh jeez. I swear, my head is magnetized to balls used for sports. Soccer balls, basketballs, softballs - all attracted to my head/face area.


----------



## Aleu (Nov 14, 2010)

I cut myself with my nail while I was sleeping.


----------



## Xenke (Nov 14, 2010)

I injured a wall once.

I was at the doctors, they gave me a shot in both arms.

I felt fine, so I stood up.

Then all of a sudden I was on the floor and people were dragging me out from behind the doctors table.

I fainted and broke the electrical outlet with my head. c:


----------



## Commiecomrade (Nov 14, 2010)

This is a mental injury so shut up.

I threw my plushie horse thing my aunt made me up onto the chandelier lights. After about five minutes of watching it smoke, it caught fire and fell in two. I nearly killed myself from sadness, man. That thing was my best friend :<


----------



## Deo (Nov 14, 2010)

Climbing over a chain link fence with three prong spikes on top. One spike pierced through my left wrist and my right leg was shredded and caught. I hung there for a bit and just bled wile I tied to take the pressure of my hanging weight off of my pierced wrist. Finally I was able to use my right hand to pull myself up enough to get the spikes out of my leg and out of my wrist. Hurt like a sonnuvabitch.


----------



## ShardPrime (Nov 14, 2010)

Hoboy. Ironic stab wounds, here we go: I stabbed myself in the muscle that joins my index finger to my thumb while trying to open the sealed plastic case of a guitar pedal. I couldn't play my guitar for nearly three weeks. And just a couple of days ago, I, Squirrel, leapt into a tree to test its stability. I didn't see the top of the rather high branch I had jumped up to grab. But I felt something enter my hand, so I removed that hand and dropped from the tree. There was a pointy little bastard knot on that particular limb. :[  Those are the only two ironic wounds I think I have sustained.

As a child, though, I ran headfirst into a Mcdonald's table. And I also fell chin-first onto a big Juicy Juice can. Both left scars, but neither are visible. :3

On numerous occasions, though this isn't really a "strange" injury, I whacked my funny bone with nunchaku. I never was very good with them.


----------



## Xaerun (Nov 15, 2010)

I once rode into a parked, empty car on my bike completely by accident. Didn't badly injure myself, just got a bit bruised.


----------



## Xenke (Nov 15, 2010)

Xaerun said:


> I once rode into a parked, empty car on my bike completely by accident. Didn't badly injure myself, just got a bit bruised.


 
I once watched someone run into a car.

It was moving, like, 1 mph, and ran straight into it.

Priceless.


----------



## Holsety (Nov 15, 2010)

I sprinted into a car and gave myself a concussion.


i will never look behind me while running again


----------



## Catilda Lily (Nov 15, 2010)

I have a scar from a picture of Jesus on my right hand.


----------



## Jw (Nov 15, 2010)

Another injury set I just thought of:

*being tall enough to hit my head on multiple light fixtures.
*stepping on a hanger that stabbed into my foot roughly half an inch.
*Jumped/swung/fell off a set of monkey bars went backwards and hit the back of my head on the ground when I was 6 or 7
*in high school I scraped the skin off a couple of my knuckles putting back some dissection boards on a high shelf in biology class.


----------



## VoidBat (Nov 15, 2010)

NA3LKER said:


> chocolate?


Yes, Lindt 85% dark chocolate bars. 



Lapdog said:


> I heard that dark chocolate is the ultimate laxative.


 
In copious amounts it's most likely that it will make your stomach hulkraeg, yes.

Otherwise I wouldn't know, I only eat one tiny square now and then since the bitterness that follows prevents me from grabbing a second piece.


----------



## sabbyagnese (Nov 15, 2010)

when i was small I had this old powder box, i was playing with it. and as it was old as i was pressing it, it burst letting all the powder fall into my eyes. I was so afraid i thought i have gone blind could not see for 10 minutes or so even though i washed my eyes


----------



## Yrr (Nov 15, 2010)

I broke a chair with my dick

don't ask how


----------



## aiden749 (Nov 15, 2010)

Was carving a bit of wood back when I was boy scouts with a u-shaped tool used to dig out lines

I slipped and sliced my left index finger wide open to the bone

the fuckers gave me band-aids and said it was nothing so they weren't liable and it wasn't 'til I got home I received proper treatment

felt bad man


----------



## Deo (Nov 15, 2010)

jwmcd2 said:


> *stepping on a hanger that stabbed into my foot roughly half an inch.


Ouch. I feel your pain, I've had that happen. When my dad was fixing up the house I stepped on a 12d nail that went through my foot. Felt bad man.


----------



## Ozriel (Nov 15, 2010)

Opening a dog food can and sliced through my middle finger.


----------



## Jw (Nov 15, 2010)

Deovacuus said:


> Ouch. I feel your pain, I've had that happen. When my dad was fixing up the house I stepped on a 12d nail that went through my foot. Felt bad man.


 
Yea, it didst verily suck. Nothing like blunt objects sticking into your soul. 
Still, a nail? IMO that sounds a little worse to me.


----------



## Deo (Nov 15, 2010)

jwmcd2 said:


> Yea, it didst verily suck. Nothing like blunt objects sticking into your soul.
> Still, a nail? IMO that sounds a little worse to me.


Nah, same concept. Point peirce foot.


----------



## LLiz (Nov 15, 2010)

I once slammed my knee into the corner of a table, it was a blunt corner, and the force of the bash ripped my skin open and left this HUGE scar on my knee that took years to heal (it still hasn't completely healed and its 15 years since it happened). 



Yrr said:


> I broke a chair with my dick
> 
> don't ask how


 
Dude, you can't make a statement like that and expect not to be asked how you did it. 
So how did you do it?


----------



## Machine (Nov 15, 2010)

As I was laying down in a bed, I was stabbed in the elbow by a needle. It left a little scar there.


----------



## Riley (Nov 16, 2010)

I'm sure it's not the strangest here but I'll toss in "Bitten by a rabbit."


----------



## Vriska (Nov 16, 2010)

I once twisted my ankle in deep tire tracks, strangest thing was IT WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE.

Papercut on a box, foil cutted myself on a miniature Reese's cup wrapper.


----------



## Maraxk Montale (Nov 16, 2010)

I don't remember this actually happening to me, but my parents relayed the story to me several times. When I was like 2 I think, I was playing with my older bother and sister. We were running through the house like crazy kids do and my brother and sister ran into a room and me in my infinite 2 year old mind thought it was okay to stick my thumb between the part of the door where the hinge is to stop the door and just as I did my brother slammed the door on my thumb. In pain I recoiled my thumb and ripped the nail off of it. From what my parents said I came running holding my thumb and it was bleeding pretty bad. How I could not remember something like that I don't know, but my right thumbnail is different from my left and theres a slight indention in the skin about 2cm from the tip.


----------



## Russ (Nov 16, 2010)

Was walking down some stairs in a garden. Part of the railing was covered in some bushes. As my hand passed through the bush, this burning pain hit me. I looked at my hand and there was whats left of a black stinger. From what I could tell it was a scorpion, though I never saw it. *shrug* My hand swell up and hurt like hell for days though.


----------



## israfur (Nov 16, 2010)

I broke my toe running into my sister, no joke. D:
And I tripped on my friend's leg and face-planted a wall, though I don't think I'd call that one and _injury_.. xD


----------



## Yrr (Nov 16, 2010)

LLiz said:


> Dude, you can't make a statement like that and expect not to be asked how you did it.
> So how did you do it?


Jumped off a table to get something off the ceiling

Did not notice chair

Landed one leg either side

Chair came off worse (it was shitty cheap wood)


----------



## zallens177 (Nov 16, 2010)

I was messing around on a kid playground and went to jump over a wall type thing and it caught my back foot and I landed on the ledge infront of me on my front right tooth, I believe. I suffered no noticeable marks from the fall, didn't even chip my tooth.


----------



## greg-the-fox (Nov 16, 2010)

Oh I got 2 more from when I was a kid
I think it was the first tooth I lost, I was showing how it was loose and my brother (who was a toddler) jumped up into my jaw and knocked it out. Ended up bleeding all over my dad lol
And then one time I jumped off a swing and stabbed my knee with my tooth. I don't think it fell out, I can't really remember.


----------



## Roose Hurro (Nov 16, 2010)

Xenke said:


> I got a papercut from a cardboard box.
> 
> Also, I tripped and somehow managed to scrape the skin off the top of two of my toes.
> 
> ...


 
I've done that a couple times, myself.  But the weirdest "injury" was the time, way back in my highschool gym class, when I was standing in the lineup, and felt something trickle down my leg... looked, and the top of my gym sock was soaked in blood.  Looked closer, and found my leg was literally "spirting" blood from what appeared to be a very tiny pinprick, but when I wiped away the blood, so I could see what the hell had happened, THE BLOOD NOT ONLY STOPPED FLOWING, BUT THERE WASN'T A SIGN OF ANY INJURY.  Except, I now have a scar where the blood flowed (can't remember whether it showed up days or weeks after).  And no idea what caused the whole incident, though I suspect in may have been some insect bite, perhaps a spider?  Still a mystery, even after all these years.


----------



## SilverKarja (Nov 16, 2010)

Barn manager and I were trying to medicate a camel...without him being in the chute.  He threw his head enough hard to send my arm flying into a pipe iron fence.  Broke my pinkie finger.  -.-


----------



## Roose Hurro (Nov 16, 2010)

Liar said:


> Stepping on a zipper and slicing my foot open :1


 
This reminds me... my uncle's pond was drying up, and I was trying to save the fish by transfering them from the almost mud section to the only place with water.  Barefoot in the mud, I didn't realize I'd cut my feet up till I saw the trail of blood on my way back to retrieve another fish.  Seems lots of broken glass or other sharp debris had been buried in the mud, after having been tossed into the pond.




Ikrit said:


> broke my wrist wrestling with my great grandfather
> (he's fucking strong, he used to play baseball *and broke bats doing it*.)


 
During a fencing match, I once broke my foil into three pieces.




Liar said:


> Oh jeez. I swear, my head is magnetized to balls used for sports. Soccer balls, basketballs, softballs - all attracted to my head/face area.


 
Playing dodgeball must have sucked.




Xaerun said:


> *I once rode into a parked, empty car on my bike completely by accident.* Didn't badly injure myself, just got a bit bruised.


 
Heh... did that, myself, way back.  Broke the fork-stem on my bike, lost the front wheel/tire, scattered head-bearings everywhere, and split my right cheek open when my face wiped down the side of that car's fender.  No damage to the car, though, thank goodness.




jwmcd2 said:


> Another injury set I just thought of:
> 
> *being tall enough to hit my head on multiple light fixtures.
> *stepping on a hanger that stabbed into my foot roughly half an inch.
> ...


 
Had the same thing happen, though it happened because some punk kid was goofing off, and pulled me off the bars, despite my shouted warning that I was slipping... can't remember how old I was, probably still in kindergarten.  Only time I've ever hit my head hard enough to be knocked out.




Riley said:


> I'm sure it's not the strangest here but I'll toss in "Bitten by a rabbit."


 
I've got one even stranger:  Bitten by a wild mouse... that somehow got himself caught in my tub.  Didn't grab the bugger close enough to his ears, so he was able to turn his head and bite.


----------



## Randy-Darkshade (Nov 16, 2010)

Roose Hurro said:


> Heh... did that, myself, way back.  Broke the fork-stem on my bike, lost the front wheel/tire, scattered head-bearings everywhere, and split my right cheek open when my face wiped down the side of that car's fender.  No damage to the car, though, thank goodness.



Stupidest thing I have ever done on a bike is crash head on into a solid brick wall, I didn't realise the brakes had stopped working as I had not ridden the bike in awhile and it had sat outside in all weathers. I hit the wall, slid of the seat and cracked my nuts on the stem.




> I've got one even stranger:  Bitten by a wild mouse... that somehow got himself caught in my tub.  Didn't grab the bugger close enough to his ears, so he was able to turn his head and bite.



Now, I have held a wild mouse in my hand and it never bit me, it just sat there washing it's face. Well, I had just saved it from our cat using a traffic cone.


----------



## Sauvignon (Nov 16, 2010)

I punched a valve cover and now my knuckles are really bruised.


----------



## Qoph (Nov 16, 2010)

I felt sick imagining some of this stuff  D:


----------



## Trance (Nov 17, 2010)

Cut my leg with a breath-mint.  Yeah...
Accidently snipped off a piece of skin on my arm with scissors.
Cut my hand on a section of carbon fiber.
>.>


----------



## CAThulu (Nov 17, 2010)

I've dislocated my shoulder playing teatherball
I also sprained my middle finger when a basketball bounced off it as I tried to catch the thing when it was passed to me from across the gym.

I suck at sports.


----------



## moonchylde (Nov 17, 2010)

Had a wooden crate of .44 hollow point ammunition fall on my head from eight feet up once. Gods how I hated working for Fed-Ex. 

Amazingly, I managed to walk away without getting knocked out or a concussion, but that's probably because something heavy usually fell on me about twice an hour at that job.


----------



## Maraxk Montale (Nov 17, 2010)

Oh, now I remember another one. About 7 or 8 I was at the public pool with my dad. He wasn't swimming though. In the shallow end of the of the pool, there is this playground kind of looking slide, except it curves and drops you down into the pool. Well I had been on this thing a few times before and wanted to try something new.

So again in my infinite wisdom thought it would be awesome if I went down this slide backwards. So I get to the top and wave to my dad who is talking to the pool owner and tell him "Hey Dad watch this!" and I push myself off and instead of staying upright like I had thought, my body twisted to the left and I slammed my chin down on the lip of the slide and cut it open.

I didn't notice till my dad told me to come to him and he grabbed the under part of my chin to look at me. "Son are allright? You're bleeding pretty bad." "I am?" 

So the owner of the pool took me to his office and gave me some bandages to patch it up, evidently it was nearly bad enough for stiches but I never got any.

The weird shit you get yourself into when you're a kid eh?


----------



## israfur (Nov 17, 2010)

Maraxk Montale said:


> Oh, now I remember another one. About 7 or 8 I was at the public pool with my dad. He wasn't swimming though. In the shallow end of the of the pool, there is this playground kind of looking slide, except it curves and drops you down into the pool. Well I had been on this thing a few times before and wanted to try something new.
> 
> So again in my infinite wisdom thought it would be awesome if I went down this slide backwards. So I get to the top and wave to my dad who is talking to the pool owner and tell him "Hey Dad watch this!" and I push myself off and instead of staying upright like I had thought, my body twisted to the left and I slammed my chin down on the lip of the slide and cut it open.
> 
> ...


   yeah that's pretty messed up, my injuries where funny lol.
*points to my my post on the previous page*


----------



## Atona (Nov 17, 2010)

Probably my worst injury. 

When I was little, I was tackled by a large Chow Chow. He pushed me into a moving rocking chair that almost completely sliced my ear off.
It was pretty gross, it was like hanging on by the lobe of my ear.



_I fucking hate those dogs._​


----------



## Kimosky (Nov 17, 2010)

Was playing with my brother on the typical three-piece swingset in the back garden. Pushing him up really high then jumping out the way to let him go.

One time, obviously, things didn't go so well and I ended up underneath it with my foot by my head....... really wasn't the best thing ever if I'm honest.

I'm fine now though! Yay for bendy children bones! <3


----------



## Fiendly (Nov 17, 2010)

working at an overnight stocking job, i managed to maneuver a cardboard box i was breaking down around my glasses and into my eye at an angle and velocity sufficient to peel maybe an eight of an inch of the cornea. worst part is, about once a year, the damaged area of the cornea fuses to my eyelid while i'm sleeping and tears back open when i wake up

also, i once intentionally squeezed a staple into my finger while at work because i was so bored

OH OH, and my friend once nearly gave me a concussion by accidentally hitting me in the face with a foam dollar store bat that was tied to his wrist (he tossed and flicked it in such a way that the only part not covered in foam hit me just as the bat was snapping back; kinda awesome)


----------



## Andy Dingo Wolf (Nov 17, 2010)

Cut my gums to shreds... wait for it... with popcorn...


----------



## israfur (Nov 17, 2010)

DingoWolfAU said:


> Cut my gums to shreds... wait for it... with popcorn...


 
When I eat capt. crunch it feels like razorblades against the roof of my mouth.


----------



## Branch (Nov 17, 2010)

skewered an apple with a fondue stick. i wasnt holding the apple correctly. the rest is pretty straight-forward.


----------



## Fiendly (Nov 17, 2010)

i remembered another one: i discovered that if you place a sour skittle in the center of your tongue, leave it there until it isn't sour anymore, then repeat with every skittle in the bag, you get a horrible burning white spot on your tongue that tastes like blood for a couple of weeks and eventually peels off. i've done this a few times, and once immediately followed doing this by eating an entire pizza smothered with tabasco. it was, at the time, the most severe pain i'd ever experienced.


----------



## Maraxk Montale (Nov 18, 2010)

Fiendly said:


> i remembered another one: i discovered that if you place a sour skittle in the center of your tongue, leave it there until it isn't sour anymore, then repeat with every skittle in the bag, you get a horrible burning white spot on your tongue that tastes like blood for a couple of weeks and eventually peels off. i've done this a few times, and once immediately followed doing this by eating an entire pizza smothered with tabasco. it was, at the time, the most severe pain i'd ever experienced.


 
Wow, that sucks, because I remember I had like a whole container full of candy fireballs, and after eating maybe 10 of them, I found out I'm allergic to an excess amount of artificial cinnamon flavoring, my mouth broke out in sores and it was extrememly hard to eat for about a week and a half. Worst misery I've ever been through.


----------



## Commiecomrade (Nov 18, 2010)

Fiendly said:


> i remembered another one: i discovered that if you place a sour skittle in the center of your tongue, leave it there until it isn't sour anymore, then repeat with every skittle in the bag, you get a horrible burning white spot on your tongue that tastes like blood for a couple of weeks and eventually peels off. i've done this a few times, and once immediately followed doing this by eating an entire pizza smothered with tabasco. it was, at the time, the most severe pain i'd ever experienced.


 
Why did you do that "a few times"?


----------



## Nineteen-TwentySeven (Nov 20, 2010)

I shot myself through my index finger with a nail gun. Go me. Went to the emergency room, and they said it had missed everything. Bone, cartilage, everything important. Hurt like a bitch for days though.
Also, we had just finished working on our old Mercedes convertible, and I was taking it for a test drive, and it was making this weird knocking noise. I pull over and open the hood to find a disconnected wire. In reaching for it, I didn't realize how close the fan was to the swinging wire, and pretty much stuck my hand right in it. Didn't break the skin, but also hurt like a bitch for hours.


----------



## Xenke (Nov 20, 2010)

I'm probably going to hurt myself in a second scraping dead skin off my feet with scissors.


----------



## Aden (Nov 20, 2010)

Xenke said:


> I'm probably going to hurt myself in a second scraping dead skin off my feet with scissors.


 
http://www.amazon.com/Pedicure-Foot-File-Colors-vary/dp/B00113FENI
oh yes


----------



## Xenke (Nov 20, 2010)

Aden said:


> http://www.amazon.com/Pedicure-Foot-File-Colors-vary/dp/B00113FENI
> oh yes


 
I'm not _that_ gay.

I still have SOME dignity.


----------



## ShadowWhiteWolf (Nov 20, 2010)

When I was 14 or so, I accidentally gashed my leg by playing with a knife.

Oh wait, that's not strange, it's just stupid.

My damn leg hasn't been right ever since.....


----------



## Milo (Nov 20, 2010)

strangest way? I was on one of those moonbounce thingies (popular in the early 90's) and I bounced into the doorway and SOMEHOW ended up crushing my own fingers in the door.... in other words, I broke my own fingers... with my other hand



Aden said:


> http://www.amazon.com/Pedicure-Foot-File-Colors-vary/dp/B00113FENI
> oh yes


 
Wait a minute Aden, are you telling me the "Ped Egg Pedicure Foot File colors may vary" uses precision micro-files that gently remove calluses and dead skin AND Traps shavings inside?

ohoho, well THIS is something that practically pays for itself! 

just purchase our fucking product already...


----------



## Aden (Nov 20, 2010)

Milo said:


> Wait a minute Aden, are you telling me the "Ped Egg Pedicure Foot File colors may vary" uses precision micro-files that gently remove calluses and dead skin AND Traps shavings inside?
> 
> ohoho, well THIS is something that practically pays for itself!
> 
> just purchase our fucking product already...


 
Exactly! And order now and we'll throw in a second Ped Egg _FREE_! just kill me now


----------



## yiffytimesnews (Nov 20, 2010)

I was a dumb kid then I had 2 accidents that should of killed me...on second thought make that 3. First up I was playing up near a plate glass window and I fell through. I only cut my finger. I was chasing a squirrel up on this cliff side when I fell off...I fell at least 30 feet and landed in nettles. The nettles saved my life, but it took weeks to recover from the nettle stings. Number 3, and I still don't know why I did not break anything. I was playing around on the top of this slide when I fell off. All I did was sprain my left knee. I fell on sand btw, when another kid had the same accident around the same time he broke his leg.


----------



## Trichloromethane (Nov 20, 2010)

I was mowing the grass beside a hedge and forgot it was on forward. I pulled back and it pulled me into the hedge dragging me through fuck tonnes of briers. 
I literally kept finding new thorns in my body for weeks.


----------



## Shay Feral (Nov 20, 2010)

I once tore a good piece of skin off my left ring finger while playing "Hide and seek" as a kid. I was running in between my dads truck and his girlfriends car when I scrapped my hand against the mirror of my dads truck. Sad thing is, it was plastic, and had no edges... Dunno how I did it, but, it happened.

And I tore a fingernail completely off while just opening a wooden gate, my finger nail dug into the flaking wood and tore it off... Hurt like hell.


----------



## Folflet (Nov 20, 2010)

Xenke said:


> I'm probably going to hurt myself in a second scraping dead skin off my feet with scissors.


 
I actually use a razor blade.


----------



## Deyna (Nov 20, 2010)

Fell of a retaining wall when I was in middle school. I was standing on top and the brick I was standing on gave way (wasn't cemented or anything), and next thing I know, I'm looking at the sky from the flat of my back. Good thing I had my bike helmet on, otherwise it could have been much worse (concussion/broken skull/broken neck).


----------



## Velystord (Nov 20, 2010)

At a water park in the steepest slide there i decided to subbenly stick my feet and hands out against the fiberglass tube hurt like hell for a couple days 

In my back yard i wad getting wood for a fire and had a porpain lantern fall against my leg and left a LONG burn mark.I was at a friends and he got me a water and then threw it across his backward to me and some how hit the burn mark dead center.

Stuck my finger in a very fast metal computer fan.

Attach a bungie cord to my friends cargo pants and strech it across the room and let it go.

Thats all the ones I can think of now.


----------



## Spawtsie Paws (Nov 22, 2010)

Pulled a muscle while wiping my ass.


----------



## Sauvignon (Nov 22, 2010)

HAXX said:


> Pulled a muscle while wiping my ass.


 
Pulled a muscle while taking a shit.


----------



## Tycho (Nov 22, 2010)

ShadowWhiteWolf said:


> When I was 14 or so, I accidentally gashed my leg by playing with a knife.
> 
> Oh wait, that's not strange, it's just stupid.
> 
> My damn leg hasn't been right ever since.....


 
So it's your left leg then?

I don't think I've ever injured myself in a bizarre fashion, though I have an uncanny ability to smack my head on undersides of shelves, cabinets, etc. and collide with opened cabinet doors.


----------



## Xavan (Nov 22, 2010)

I faked breaking my hand. I ended up not faking.


----------



## Gr8fulFox (Nov 22, 2010)

I think the strangest ways I injure myself is when I don't even know I've done something, then I just look and go "Huh, I'm bleeding; how'd that happen?"


----------



## Ames (Nov 22, 2010)

I tried to jump one of those spiky metal fences.

My body actually made it over, but my shirt got caught and I sorta got partially impaled on the fence. :C


----------



## rainingdarkness (Nov 23, 2010)

My dad's old house had those T shaped metal laundry poles, like these:
http://images.nationalgeographic.co...cache/hanging-laundry-turner_3689_990x742.jpg
One along the edge of the driveway by the garage, and the other about 20 feet away across the yard.
Anyhow, a few different accidents happened revolving around them. My brother lost a tooth by biting the string hanging between them and letting go; it effectively ripped it out of his mouth. 
I was trying to climb up it by swinging a towel over the top and climbing up it like a rope once, and let go of one side. I fell on my back and slammed my head into the concrete. (We used to climb up and sit on the top of them all the time.)
The most notable accident was when my dad's ex's daughter climbed to the top, began to lose her balance, and grabbed the electric wire that ran from the house to the garage. Watching someone get electrocuted at the age of ten is fucking terrifying, man. o.o


----------



## Phirae (Nov 23, 2010)

Do not try to jump over slightly-higher-than-groin-level railings at high speed on a wet day.
Need I say more?
Manged to pull off a full rotation with the momentum, before I lay on the ground, unable to feel my grion.


----------



## Skittle (Nov 23, 2010)

When I was little, I stepped on a live wire after getting out of the pool.


----------



## Nex (Nov 23, 2010)

During a training exercise back when I was in the military, I jumped over a ditch to get to cover behind a building. The opposite side of the ditch only had about 3 feet of landing space and the building was right freaking there. I hit the building head first and knocked myself out for about 30 seconds. DERP!

The next day we did convoy training. I was riding in the ring mount of a 5-ton truck and my LT was sitting shotgun, working the radio. The truck came "under fire" (it was training, so we were using MILES gear which is pretty much laser tag with real guns and blanks) and I dumped about eighty rounds rounds of burning hot brass all over him. 

Also, the same day at the M16 range, a casing bounced off a piece of wood and somehow lodged its self between my head, and my helmet. I had a shell shaped burn on my forehead for about two weeks.


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## Ames (Nov 23, 2010)

skittle said:


> When I was little, I stepped on a live wire after getting out of the pool.


 
A live wire... near a pool.

Hmm...


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## Skittle (Nov 23, 2010)

JamesB said:


> A live wire... near a pool.
> 
> Hmm...


 Yea. My uncle isn't toooo smart.


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## Xenke (Nov 23, 2010)

I just stuck my tongue on my macbook pro charger.

Why the fuck did I do that.

It hurt. :c


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## Randy-Darkshade (Nov 24, 2010)

Xenke said:


> I just stuck my tongue on my macbook pro charger.
> 
> Why the fuck did I do that.
> 
> It hurt. :c



I'm not sure what the output is on a macbook adapter but on most laptops it is between 12 and 20/22 volts (most common I have seen are either 15 or 20/22 volts. So yeah, not surprised it hurt, a little 9volt battery is bad enough.


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## Xenke (Nov 24, 2010)

RandyDarkshade said:


> I'm not sure what the output is on a macbook adapter but on most laptops it is between 12 and 20/22 volts (most common I have seen are either 15 or 20/22 volts. So yeah, not surprised it hurt, a little 9volt battery is bad enough.


 
16.5 to 18.5 volts, maximum 4.6 amps.

I have a feeling that the current got no where near 4.6amps, because then I would be dead. :I


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## Tycho (Nov 24, 2010)

Xenke said:


> 16.5 to 18.5 volts, maximum 4.6 amps.
> 
> I have a feeling that the current got no where near 4.6amps, because then I would be dead. :I


 
Takes a little under an amp to kill a person.  4.6 would do it for sure.


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## NA3LKER (Nov 24, 2010)

thought of a few more
i got an electric shock when pulling a plug out of the socket
i sliced my hand open when trying to open one of those stupid blister clamshell packaging things
when i was 5 i pulled the cigarette lighter out of my moms car and put it on my thumb. the stupid part was i did it again a while later in my dads car


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## Silvana (Nov 24, 2010)

I was running with a piece of paper outside on a windy day only to be paper-cutted in the eyeball.


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## SuddenlySanity (Nov 24, 2010)

I cut off part of my thumb while rasping cheese... It was just a flesh wound. <_<

No really, that rasp-thingy seemed foolproof, I still don't know how I managed to fail there...


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## Schwimmwagen (Nov 24, 2010)

I always get electrocuted on shopping trolleys...

Oh, and I licked a battery for the lulz. It wasn't lulzy after all.


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## Xavan (Nov 24, 2010)

While I was in Grand Turk, I was just cooking some spam and hotdog in a pan on an electric stove in the rented out condo. I thought hot grease was platting on my wrist, so occasionly I pulled away. Turned out I was being electrocuted.


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## Nineteen-TwentySeven (Nov 24, 2010)

NA3LKER said:


> i sliced my hand open when trying to open one of those stupid blister clamshell packaging things


 
Everybody's done that/will do that at least 14 times in their life. That shit's the devil.



SuddenlySanity said:


> I cut off part of my thumb while rasping cheese... *It was just a flesh wound.* <_<


 
I'm sorry, it must be done.



Gibby said:


> Oh, and I licked a battery for the lulz. It wasn't lulzy after all.


 
That's how we used to test 9-volt batteries.


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## Roose Hurro (Nov 24, 2010)

Xenke said:


> 16.5 to 18.5 volts, maximum 4.6 amps.
> 
> I have a feeling that the current got no where near 4.6amps, *because then I would be dead*. :I


 
http://www.history.com/shows/stan-lees-superhumans/bios/

Actually, if you're like the guy above, you wouldn't have a problem with 4.6 amps... I certainly don't.  Oh, if you want to check yourself, get a multimeter, and measure your skin resistance.  If you get ten million ohms (or a bit under, mine tended to fluctuate), then you have the same "power" I and the man above possess.


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## BlueEevee (Nov 24, 2010)

Stuck a key in a electric outlet
Fell on a military boot and had to get stitches on my eyebrow


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## Foxridley (Nov 25, 2010)

Let's see.

When I was 3 I got into the kennel with the puppy and too a puppy tooth to the eyelid for it. Still have the scar.

Though I wasn't actually hurt I once got pinned by a revolving door.

I have cut my ankles with my toenails on multiple occasions.

I knocked a tooth out on a counter from laughing too hard.

I leaned back in while in school, hit head on the whiteboard ledge, then overextended my jaw trying to say "ow."

I twisted my hip  in school when my friend pushed my desk forward and I got my legs stuck against the desk in front of.

Not my injury:
  A friend of got a nasty burn from a piece of meat.

EDIT: I also once stapled my index finger.


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## Chibinight13 (Nov 25, 2010)

A saws all to the top of my left hand...


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## Airborne_Piggy (Nov 25, 2010)

My brain.
Reading the Den.


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## Eligos (Nov 25, 2010)

I was standing to close to a dartboard, my dart bounced off the metal rim and stuck in my shin.

I used to own a bunk bed, and I made the mistake of putting it near my ceiling fan. Went two years without any problems, then one night I forgot, and took a wooden fan blade to the face climbing up. Lost my grip in surprise and bounced my ass off the floor. Thankfully, carpet.


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## Jw (Nov 25, 2010)

Airborne_Piggy said:


> My brain.
> Reading the Den.


 Reading this at first, I was like "wtf?"
And then, I went to see what the den was for the first time.
Damn. DAYUMM.
What you said should have been warning enough.


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## Garrus (Nov 25, 2010)

Probably my strangest injury is when I was in my garden, I bent down to pick up some money I dropped and a dead, dry plant stem around 2-3mm wide went into my eye socket, rammed between the wall of my socket and between my left eye ball.

Second strangest has got to be when my brother threw a dog toy to me when playing with the dog, the sharp edge somehow cut deep underneath my fingernail. There wasn't much of an injury but the pain was unbearable for 2 weeks. Something happened, still not entirely sure but it healed up and the pain went.


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## J-Neko (Nov 26, 2010)

I've hurt myself in _many_ odd and/or creative ways over the years.

For instance, I once hurt my right leg by getting it stuck in an 18th-century cannon.


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## Roose Hurro (Nov 26, 2010)

J-Neko said:


> I've hurt myself in _many_ odd and/or creative ways over the years.
> 
> For instance, *I once hurt my right leg by getting it stuck in an 18th-century cannon*.


 
Ahhh, a failed "human cannonball" attempt!


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## lobosabio (Nov 26, 2010)

I managed to stab myself with my own fingernail.  

Another time I jumped down a flight of stairs and landed on the edge of a table.  That gave me eight inch long bruise on my leg.  

But the strangest injury I've ever sustained was when I suffered a cervical strain trying to fall asleep.


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## Nail_bunny (Nov 26, 2010)

Yesterday after I got done cleaning my room I decided to lay on my back for a while and somehow pulled a muscle in my ass and thigh, I couldn't move for about 40 mins.
The whole time I was wondering what the fuck and how the fuck it happened.


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## Nineteen-TwentySeven (Nov 26, 2010)

J-Neko said:


> For instance, *I once hurt my right leg by getting it stuck in an 18th-century cannon.*


 
You just won the thread.


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## Werevixen (Nov 26, 2010)

Putting up a plastic BIC ballpoint between two rocks, and stamping on it with the intent of shattering it. However, the ballpoint had an entirely different mind and decided to just penetrate the bottom of my foot, pushing the skin on top out like a little fleshy circus tent. The actual ballpoint and filling were pushed out the back, severely twisted, because the little hole at the top was filled with a whole lot of flesh. And I had to limp to the hospital.

Yes, I'm a dumbass, I'm sorry I gave so much detail, and where do I collect my prize?


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## Chilla (Nov 30, 2010)

i was trying to open a can of spam and the metal cut like 3 of my  fingers! and i was on my own, it was extreemly bloody and hard to put  bandaids on D:< 

lucky i didnt pass out and die.


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## Volkodav (Nov 30, 2010)

Had my cat on my shoulder, sitting like a hy00mun and he fell backwards and ripped a chunk out f my ear

Was making a skateboard ramp, dropped the board and a nail wnt through my toe


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## Tycho (Nov 30, 2010)

Kicked another wall in my sleep last night.


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## Zoetrope (Nov 30, 2010)

1) When I was little my baby sitter opened up a mall door and smacked the sharp part of the underside of the handle right along my eyebrow. Split my head open. The event is quite vivid. All I remember was my vision being awash with blood. I kept blinking to get the blood out and I was screaming. These little old ladies with tissues in their purses tried to dab it away but I told them not to touch me and ran off. They caught me. Somehow. And then I think I lost consciousness. They woke me up for the stitches, I have no idea why, and tried to get me to stop crying again by using a plastic syringe to squirt my mother with. I think I laughed. Maybe.

2) Opening a sardine can. I had my left hand wrapped around it and my thumb hovering over the lid. With my right hand I opened them up fast enough to slice open the webbing between my thumb and index finger on my left hand. Opened it right up. Could see inside and it didn't really bleed. It was actually one of the cooler injuries I've had.

I probably have more. I definitely have been injured because of sheer stupidity on more than one occasion. That's for another topic I guess.


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## Bir (Nov 30, 2010)

Hmmm. Not entirely a strange way I've injured myself, but here you are.

Once, I tried to pull on a sock a way that I normally don't pull my socks on, and my toes cramped so badly they stayed in that position for several hours. 

One time I went camping with my family, we had just arrived, and I had to move the picnic table so that we could park in the appropriate place. I picked up the edge of the table, began to pull it out of the way, and I guess I didn't move my foot in time. A screw on the bottom of the table lifed up my big toe nail like a page of a book. That same day, I went swimming and something on the bottom of the pool scraped a huge chunk of skin from the bottom of that same toe. 

At a family picnic my aunt got seriously worried that I was sitting in the car with my cousins, and freaked out over it. She screamed that I'm a lady and shouldn't talk to men in private until I'm married, and literally pulled me out of the car. I fell onto the ground and ripped off the top half of my pinky's skin.

The first time I ever shaved, the razor got caught on my skin and ripped about four inches of skin off my leg. I still have the scar.

And it didn't actually injur me, but I do have one crazy story to tell about a weird accident saving my life.

So I had to pee, right?
And I was outside, having a barbeque with my family.
I was lazy, and didn't feel like going in the house.
About ten seconds later, my house shakes violently.
We all run inside to see if the stove finally blew up, but it was fine.
Later on, I decided it was time to pee.
Went into the bathroom,
and there was a van in my bathroom.
A VAN. Some idiot in the middle of Chicago drove accross the raised, empty parking lot next to our house, somehow jumped it over the two-foot cement wall, accross the three foot walkway, and straight into my bathroom.
There were sticks everywhere, and let's just say... that if I wasn't lazy, I would have been speared right in my gut while peeing, by a stick.


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## dinosaurdammit (Nov 30, 2010)

My step brother and I were playing with a model rocket when the rocket was about to launch it fell over sideways and launched into my neck. I held my neck and felt like it was bleeding though it was not. I looked like I had rolled in soot all over the side of my face. I am now afraid of model rockets though.


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## HappyBunny (Nov 30, 2010)

I was...8? Riding my bike. One of my friends got my attention and I rode it straight into the back of my dad's car. Plowed right into it, split my lip. My friend was laughing at me, so In a huff i got my bike up and rode it down the street. Then I came back around down the street, riding full-tilt. Hopped up onto the sidewalk to avoid my dad's car. Hit the mailbox. I had a short flight of about 2 seconds. I guess I only really injured my pride. and my lip. And  i think I scraped my knee on the little red flag for indicating mail is to be sent out as I sailed over the mailbox.


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## HotterOtter (Nov 30, 2010)

Let's see. Skateboarding, probably. 

Either the time my board flung up and hit me just below the eye, or the time my board flipped and hit the rail under me, flipping the board upwards and nutting myself on the sharp tail. Gah.


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## Tycho (Nov 30, 2010)

Bir said:


> At a family picnic my aunt got seriously worried that I was sitting in the car with my cousins, and freaked out over it. She screamed that I'm a lady and shouldn't talk to men in private until I'm married, and literally pulled me out of the car. I fell onto the ground and ripped off the top half of my pinky's skin.


 
What the hell? Psycho thinks she's living in the 18th century or something.  I hope your parents chewed her out for that stunt.


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## xiath (Nov 30, 2010)

I was shooting a muzzle-loader with my uncle and I didn't press my face against the stock hard enough.  When I fired the gun the stock hit my cheek.  The inside of my cheek got sliced up because I had braces at the time.

Oh, and then there was that time that my friends and myself decided that it was a good idea to tie a rope around my waist, attach the other end to a bike seat, and pull me behind it while I was on rollerblades...  It also didn't help that I only learned how to skate a week before.  I still have a scar on my elbow from that one.


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## greg-the-fox (Dec 1, 2010)

Yesterday I stabbed myself with an Airhead trying to unwrap it, and yeah it actually drew blood
It was the actual candy, not the packaging
this is an Airhead. It has sharp corners apparently :V


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## Xenke (Dec 1, 2010)

...The fuck?

Dod you freeze it first or something?


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## Philote (Dec 1, 2010)

my sub-conscience blew up my appendix and got me stuck in the hospital for a week to avoid the pain of my mom dying. only way i got through it was the med's they gave me. that's got to be one of the strangest ways ive injured myself.


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## Shico (Dec 1, 2010)

I lost my last baby tooth by breaking it on a sweet tart....A SWEET TART!
I had to see the dentist because it only broke off the crown and we could not get the root to come out.

When I was little I slipped grabbing the first rung of the monkey bars and landed, spread eagle, on the top bar of the ladder part and, well I am glad I was not a guy because lets just say that where I was bleeding made it looked like I had hit puberty at the age of 8...I'd hate to know how much more that would have hurt if I was a dude.


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## Conker (Dec 1, 2010)

Curious: without reading a post in this thread. Has anyone said "auto fellatio?"


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## greg-the-fox (Dec 1, 2010)

Shico said:


> I lost my last baby tooth by breaking it on a sweet tart....A SWEET TART!
> I had to see the dentist because it only broke off the crown and we could not get the root to come out.


 
Once I was eating a bunch of really spicy halloween candy and put the whole package in my mouth, and I freaked out at how spicy it was so I chewed too hard and ended up shattering several baby teeth. They were on their way out I guess so it didn't hurt. I shed little shards of them every now and then but eventually had to get the parts that were left stuck in my gums pulled out at the dentist.

Another tooth story, I had a loose tooth hanging by a thread and it didn't want to come out. I was too much of a wimp to yank it so I tied a piece of floss around the thin piece of gum to try to break it. It did, but then there was a lump of my gum attached to the tooth I was holding in my hand... I poked it and it made a squelching noise and oozed blood D: EWWWW It freaked me out so much lol


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## ~secret~ (Dec 1, 2010)

Tripped over a kettle, smashed face off microwave.


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## Littlerock (Dec 6, 2010)

In the third grade, I was playing outside for recess with my friends. Tag, always tag. I had my hair loose from the nape of my neck (it came down to about my hips) and I encountered a bee, which proceeded to get itself tangled in my hair. No, before you ask I am not afraid of bees at all, nor am I allergic to their stings. Naturally, I stopped running around, called a time out, and started untangling the insect. Some ass runs over to me screaming the private schooler's version of "*HOLY FUCKING SHIT, IT'S A BEE*" and starts blindly hitting at my face for some reason. I tried running away, "_I'm fixing it D:_" but not before the bee got further tangled. It ended up getting free, but in it's desperation it bit me on the cheek. 
_Not stung_. *Bit*. As in with those little pincers they've got on their faces. 
"_It only bit me_." Teacher freaks out, "_YOU GOT STUNG OMG_"
So I yelled at the dumb bitch "_NO, IT *BIT* ME_."

I argued with her for ten minutes about how it didn't sting me. 
Moral anguish at the time; I might be a young little kid, but I'm _not_ a fucking retard, dammit.

--

Last year, I was helping some underclassmen make a tile mural in art class, (I absolutely lived in that room), and I was moving big boxes of broken tile chunks and nippers. Turns out, pottery shards are pretty sharp. I slid my fingers under a particularly heavy box, and a tiny little spoon-shape shard wedged itself in my finger. I moved the box to it's destination, then looked at my finger. 

It wasn't as tiny as it had felt. It was about a half-inch square, and had neatly wedged itself into one of those big ol' veins in there, and severed a nerve. I pulled it out, said 'whatever', washed it off and bandaged it. I found out that day that when you cut a nerve, it's easy to pass out. 
I felt it coming on, so I sat on the floor, right where I stood, and enjoyed the color show that followed. Class is going on at this point, by the way. Ten minutes later, I come round, and stand up slowly from my now laying-down position, dust myself off, and go about my business.
I was totally unconscious on a public classroom floor, during a class for a full ten minutes, and nobody noticed, _not even the substitute_ _teacher_.

--
TL;DR
Effortpost :V


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## Xenke (Dec 6, 2010)

Last night I cut thumb with my own fingernail again.

I'm beginning to suspect this is normal for me.


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## BlueEevee (Dec 6, 2010)

Xenke said:


> Last night I cut thumb with my own fingernail again.
> 
> I'm beginning to suspect this is normal for me.


Your nails are conspiring against you


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## ~secret~ (Dec 6, 2010)

Xenke said:


> Last night I cut thumb with my own fingernail again.
> 
> I'm beginning to suspect this is normal for me.


 
Weaponise it.


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## Trance (Dec 7, 2010)

This morning, I cut my thumb on the metal zipper of one of those American Eagle hoodies.
Maybe if I didn't fall asleep in it...


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## Steel the Wolf (Dec 7, 2010)

I don't know. I've been know to slam my head against really clean panes of glass. Not as bad a my mate though. She manages to do the oddest things, like close a door on her head for instance.


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## CelestiusNexus (Dec 8, 2010)

It's like, I NEVER injure myself.  I obviously don't consider this self-mortification, but earlier today, I got hit in the back of the head by a tennis ball, and my friend was all, "Omg sorry"


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## garaak (Feb 21, 2011)

The stupidest self-inflicted injury I've ever had is probably when I threw a golf-ball at a tree and it ricocheted into my face. And every so often I hurt myself without feeling anything (I actually lost part of a toe without noticing). And then there's the half dozen scars running across my back that came out of nowhere. My body is seriously f-ed up.


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