# Convention conduct question?



## Kota-cub (Nov 27, 2011)

I'm thinking about attending a convention in the near future, once my suit gets done, but I have a couple questions regarding conduct of people there.

I'm autistic, and very high functioning, although I absolutely hate being touched by surprise or from behind. I've attended several anime conventions with my best friend, who acts like a sort of caretaker in those situations, by removing me, or talking to others when I'm unable to. However, when cosplaying, I'm generally very much alert and able to see when people are approaching me.

One of the cons I go to also has color coded badges as to whether one wants to be touched or not.

However, I've never worn a fursuit for a long period of time before, and I know from trying on a friend's head that vision is limited, along with hand movement. So it wouldn't really be possible for me to run off and hide in the hotel room like I would normally do at an anime con. Also, the restricted vision worries me, since I may not be able to see when people are approaching.

Is there any way to tell people that I just don't like to be touched without a warning?
Or should I just deal with it, and hope I don't have a meltdown?


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## Sar (Nov 27, 2011)

Kota-cub said:


> my best friend, who acts like a sort of caretaker in those situations, by removing me, or talking to others when I'm unable to. However, when cosplaying, I'm generally very much alert and able to see when people are approaching me.


Bring you friend with you. You can both have a good time and he can look after you.


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## Kota-cub (Nov 27, 2011)

Sarukai said:


> Bring you friend with you. You can both have a good time and he can look after you.



I am hopefully bringing her, along with her older brother and his mate.

Do you know how well sound transfers through fursuit heads?
From what I'm told, if I start getting freaked out, I start whining and she'll take me upstairs, but I never notice that I'm actually making sounds xD


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## Tezzereth (Nov 27, 2011)

The heads muffle sounds, some more depending on what they are made of. More foam, less sound. Hand movement depends on how the paw is made. In your situation, one that slips over your hands like a loose glove would probably be better so you can make hand signs to your friend, and to put your hand up to gesture "Stop" "to people coming up to you and such. Ad hand sign of sort to tell your friend that you need to go would be good too, as if you were trying to tell her something, she'd probably have to put her head up to your suits's head unless you were in a desolate area.

People are told to not surprise people in suits from behind or the sides, but there are a lot of people who don't listen and will try to hug one randomly from the side. Usually not from the back, but the side I see often. Can't see well to the sides, and a lot of others seem to forget that. From what I have seen, about 15% of people who approach a suiter do it the ninja way.


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## dinosaurdammit (Nov 27, 2011)

ALWAYS have a handler and use body language to tell your handler of your situation. Let the handler deal with crowd control.


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## Fay V (Nov 27, 2011)

It's common courtesy not to touch or hug suiters if they don't already agree to it, but people at cons can be rather uncoothe in terms of that. For the most part you shouldn't be snuck up on from behind and hugged but there are people that see no problem with giving suiters random scritches. That happened to me a few times at MFF, along with some surprised hugs, however I'm a fairly jovial suiter and try to be open. 
My best advice to you is to have two or three people that are ready to get serious when someone is approaching. someone to watch your back and side and is willing to put in that effort to just tell people to back off. 
Furries just assume that people want to be touched, hugged or scritched, so you won't get anyone running at you and just a firm hand should be enough to deter people. 

I also suggest just making up a badge that says "do not touch" on it, something people would be able to read. 

It's not a steadfast rule not to talk in suit, more a guideline, so if you feel it's better for you then just talk. As for sound, it depends on the suit. mine has a moveable jaw and I can't hear that well but sound transfers pretty well for me. Hand signals can be simple two big signs for "I am in distress" are crossing your arms over your chest and standing still, or holding your hands straight up and standing still. both of these are easy to do in any suit and are very visible


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## Dragonfurry (Nov 27, 2011)

Well When I get a suit I wont stop anyone from touching me. :3


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## Deo (Nov 27, 2011)

Have a handler to divert people to your front where you can see them and control how you interact with them.
Take breaks in your room or in the Headless Lounges.





Dragonfurry said:


> Well When I get a suit I wont stop anyone from touching me. :3


... Creepy.


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## Volkodav (Nov 27, 2011)

>Going to furry con




>Has any doubt people will touch them


lmao
HAH
AHAHAAHAHHA!!!!!


there is no fucking way you would get me to go to a fur con.I don't want no sweaty fuck "hugging" me from behind with a semi


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## OssumPawesome (Nov 27, 2011)

Kota-cub said:


> One of the cons I go to also has color coded badges as to whether one wants to be touched or not.



I honestly can't decide if this is an efficient shortcut for fostering positive social behavior or ridiculously stupid.


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## Volkodav (Nov 27, 2011)

OssumPawesome said:


> I honestly can't decide if this is an efficient shortcut for fostering positive social behavior or ridiculously stupid.


It's a good idea. I wouldn't wanna be touched by those people there either. dirrrrty
fursuiters believe that because they're dressed as a yiffy snuggly scritchy murry wolf suit, that everybody wants to hug them and be hugged by them
no way jose. laeve that shit inn the bedroom


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## OssumPawesome (Nov 27, 2011)

Clayton said:


> It's a good idea. I wouldn't wanna be touched by those people there either. dirrrrty



The fact that a sticker is required is the problem though.


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## Kota-cub (Nov 28, 2011)

Fay V said:


> It's common courtesy not to touch or hug suiters if they don't already agree to it, but people at cons can be rather uncoothe in terms of that. For the most part you shouldn't be snuck up on from behind and hugged but there are people that see no problem with giving suiters random scritches. That happened to me a few times at MFF, along with some surprised hugs, however I'm a fairly jovial suiter and try to be open.
> My best advice to you is to have two or three people that are ready to get serious when someone is approaching. someone to watch your back and side and is willing to put in that effort to just tell people to back off.
> Furries just assume that people want to be touched, hugged or scritched, so you won't get anyone running at you and just a firm hand should be enough to deter people.
> 
> ...



Thank you so much ;o;
This has been incredibly helpful, and I feel a little bit better now~

Do you think it would be a wise idea to inform some of the con staff about this, in case something does happen to go wrong and triggers one of my meltdowns? I wouldn't want me or anyone else to get into any trouble because of this


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## Kota-cub (Nov 28, 2011)

OssumPawesome said:


> I honestly can't decide if this is an efficient shortcut for fostering positive social behavior or ridiculously stupid.



It worked well for me, since I could decide whether I wanted hugs or not, and I wasn't as panicy
It also allowed my friend and I to spend some time apart without us worrying that something would happen

I'm sure the color coded badges wouldn't work for some people though, which I can understand


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## Kota-cub (Nov 28, 2011)

Tezzereth said:


> The heads muffle sounds, some more depending on what they are made of. More foam, less sound. Hand movement depends on how the paw is made. In your situation, one that slips over your hands like a loose glove would probably be better so you can make hand signs to your friend, and to put your hand up to gesture "Stop" "to people coming up to you and such. Ad hand sign of sort to tell your friend that you need to go would be good too, as if you were trying to tell her something, she'd probably have to put her head up to your suits's head unless you were in a desolate area.
> 
> People are told to not surprise people in suits from behind or the sides, but there are a lot of people who don't listen and will try to hug one randomly from the side. Usually not from the back, but the side I see often. Can't see well to the sides, and a lot of others seem to forget that. From what I have seen, about 15% of people who approach a suiter do it the ninja way.



From what I've been told, mine's being made with foam, and the ninja hood, with foam paws that don't allow finger movements.
But thank you for the advice~ We're trying to figure out some good hand signs, although we're not sure what will work until I actually get my suit ^^

So hugging/touching people from the back is more uncommon?
I think I could handle side, if it's not too common, but people touching my back by surprise can get very bad, very fast x.x


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## Ad Hoc (Nov 29, 2011)

Clayton said:


> >Going to furry con
> 
> 
> 
> ...


It's actually not that hard to avoid. I only got one hug from a complete stranger at MFF--a suiter who stumbled into me and was trying to apologize. Every other instance was with a FAFer who probably would have been very understanding if I'd expressed discomfort with it. I imagine it's harder to avoid for a suiter, though.

On that note, though: OP, maybe you could spend the first day or two out of suit to get more comfortable with the situation and the crowd?


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## PanzerYote (Nov 29, 2011)

Hmmm, I got it!

Change your fursona to a porcupine! Then your awful personality can be transferred authentically to your character!

JOKING!

Really though, as someone who is also a highly functioning autistic, I find that I can overcome my issues with advanced sensory perception if I'm exposed to it for a while. I am terrified of load noises, yet I still compete in 3 gun firearm matches. What I do is I stand for a couple of minutes at the firing line and get used to the sound of gunshots. After that I'm calm and relaxed and ready to compete. Maybe if you can get a couple of close friends to surprisingly hit your back for a few times you can get comfortable to the point you can go out. And as I hate to recommend it, alcohol has always helped in these situations. Just a couple of shots, no need to get trashed.

Lets face it, this is a community based off of cute soft fuzziness. There will be people who will try to touch you in suit; there is no helping that. You have to find a way to deal with it.


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## Fay V (Nov 29, 2011)

Kota-cub said:


> Thank you so much ;o;
> This has been incredibly helpful, and I feel a little bit better now~
> 
> Do you think it would be a wise idea to inform some of the con staff about this, in case something does happen to go wrong and triggers one of my meltdowns? I wouldn't want me or anyone else to get into any trouble because of this


I actually have no idea. I know staff have helped autistics in the past but I'm not sure how helpful a forewarning would be, particularly at a large convention. There isn't the man power to follow you around in case of trouble. 
I haven't been staff at a con though so it could be something they wanna know, I dunno. 


Kota-cub said:


> From what I've been told, mine's being made with foam, and the ninja hood, with foam paws that don't allow finger movements.
> But thank you for the advice~ We're trying to figure out some good hand signs, although we're not sure what will work until I actually get my suit ^^
> 
> So hugging/touching people from the back is more uncommon?
> I think I could handle side, if it's not too common, but people touching my back by surprise can get very bad, very fast x.x



It is severely frowned upon to touch a suiter from behind and you can show a lot more with your body language. If a suiter is stepping back and not hugging people will get the idea generally. If they're hopping in a crowd and laughing, hugging, playing then people will play and touch.
keep a handler to guard your back.

remember around other suiters, they also cant see, so if you're in a group you might get bumped. I dunno how much it takes to set you off but just be warned that happns even when a bunc of suiters are standing around. I don't mean bumped hard, but like brushed by an ear or tail.

Please remember to practice alone (or in private at least) at first. get used to the suit, the size, the feel and all that before you go out. especially if you have touch issues.


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## Sar (Nov 29, 2011)

Kota-cub said:


> Do you know how well sound transfers through fursuit heads?
> From what I'm told, if I start getting freaked out, I start whining and she'll take me upstairs, but I never notice that I'm actually making sounds xD


Sounds would be a bit more muffled. That is why some fursuiters use sign language to communicate.


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## Fay V (Nov 29, 2011)

Sarukai said:


> Sounds would be a bit more muffled. That is why some fursuiters use sign language to communicate.



That and they don't talk.


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## IronSquid (Dec 6, 2011)

You may find it useful to check out renowned autism advocate Temple Grandin's work on the "hug machine". Essentially, she witnessed the calming effect of tight cattle chutes on the animals and adapted this to benefit herself and other individuals with tactile hypersensitivity. I bring this up because I'm wondering if the encompassing weight and insulation of a suit could have a soothing affect that might help ameliorate the physical contact that it may attract.


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## Kota-cub (Dec 15, 2011)

Ad Hoc said:


> On that note, though: OP, maybe you could spend the first day or two out of suit to get more comfortable with the situation and the crowd?



I'm actually hoping to test the suit out at a small local anime convention before making my way to a furry one, just because I'm more familiar with that certain con ^^
I may try that though~


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## Kota-cub (Dec 15, 2011)

PanzerYote said:


> Hmmm, I got it!
> 
> Change your fursona to a porcupine! Then your awful personality can be transferred authentically to your character!
> 
> ...




Lol c:

Thank you so much for your reply, it's given me a boost of confidence~
I'll try having a couple of my friends do that with the suit on, just to see what the result is, and I'll talk to someone who helps me with sensory integration on occasion. And I'm still actually a bitttt too young for drinking xD


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## Kota-cub (Dec 15, 2011)

Fay V said:


> I actually have no idea. I know staff have helped autistics in the past but I'm not sure how helpful a forewarning would be, particularly at a large convention. There isn't the man power to follow you around in case of trouble.
> I haven't been staff at a con though so it could be something they wanna know, I dunno.



I wouldn't need someone to follow me around, I just wouldn't want myself or someone else to get in trouble for something that happened if I happened to have a meltdown on the floor. For example, I've accidently hit my friend (who would be my handler) a couple times when she was trying to get me away from people, simply because I don't like being touched when I'm upset ;o;

I'm just not too sure how the staff handles certain things like that, so I was curious if it might be helpful to them ^^

As for what sets me off, it does take something bothering me for a little while for me to really get nervous, so I could definately handle being bumped into or something of the like ^^


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## Kota-cub (Dec 15, 2011)

IronSquid said:


> You may find it useful to check out renowned autism advocate Temple Grandin's work on the "hug machine". Essentially, she witnessed the calming effect of tight cattle chutes on the animals and adapted this to benefit herself and other individuals with tactile hypersensitivity. I bring this up because I'm wondering if the encompassing weight and insulation of a suit could have a soothing affect that might help ameliorate the physical contact that it may attract.



I have seen a few things on that, and have been trying to get the movie for a little while with no luck xD
It's very interesting though~

I actually have something similar that that I use at anime conventions, a chest binding shirt that applies pressure around the majority of my torso, and calms me down somewhat. 

I'll probably be using that when I'm wearing the partial suit, although it would be interesting to find out if the bodysuit would have enough weight to soothe my nerves a little bit, since I really wouldn't want to wear the binder along with the full suit. Wayyy too hot ;o;


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