# I think I might be gay D:



## oberstbart (Apr 27, 2008)

Seriously, I think I might be gay.

What to do!?
How to tell!?
How to be sure!?

Please help!


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## nurematsu (Apr 27, 2008)

I'm not an expert, but all I can suggest is to experiment


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## Takun (Apr 27, 2008)

Ok well checking your profile you're a bit younger.  I agree, just do what feels right.  I tried super hard to be straight lol...

Junior year I asked all sorts of girls out, went to dances, and just plain hung out.  I never felt attracted to any of them.  Senior year I just skipped those event and went by myself to stuff and made closer friendships with the girls I wasn't attracted to.

Hopefully there are more homosexuals near you, there was only one other in my tiny school and I really didn't like him at all so I just kept it to myself.


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## Ishnuvalok (Apr 27, 2008)

Step 1: come out to your family, unless their catholic/republicans or both

Step 2: Don't tell anyone in school unless you want to

Step 3: Go to college, meet up with some guys and a 12 pack

Step 4: ????

Step 5: Profit!


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## CheezWizTimeLord (Apr 27, 2008)

Ishnuvalok said:


> Step 1: come out to your family, unless their catholic/republicans or both



don't be hatin' on republicans, [redneck accent]WE GOT THE GUNS[/redneck accent]


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## oberstbart (Apr 27, 2008)

But I'm not completely sure yet, and I don't really want to tell anyone untill I know.




Money?? :O


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## Ishnuvalok (Apr 27, 2008)

oberstbart said:


> But I'm not completely sure yet, and I don't really want to tell anyone untill I know.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Experimenting is good. Try some gay porn.


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## nurematsu (Apr 27, 2008)

The only way you're going to know is if you try it. Some guys are willing to be discreet about it and keep a secret if you desire. I know I've run into a couple of guys that did not want any sort of outside attention to their sexuality, so I obliged and kept their secret. Hopefully you can find such a guy and explore your sexual desires, whatever they may be



Ishnuvalok said:


> Experimenting is good. Try some gay porn.



I agree with this. I know it has helped me determine that I am bisexual


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## LizardKing (Apr 27, 2008)

Watch some porn of various types. Note boner status throughout. Check results at the end.


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## Kipple (Apr 27, 2008)

OH NOES DDDDDD:

There's no reason to tell anyone until you have, at least, confirmed the fact and plan on introducing your new boyfriend to others. I didn't tell anyone unless they asked or it was particularly relevant; I didn't run into any huge drama-bombs. Of course, your results may vary. 

Go with the flow. If you run around telling everyone only to discover that you're really not gay at all, then all you've managed to do is stir up trouble. Truthfully, there is only one surefire way to know and that's to give it a shot.


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## Lumpy (Apr 27, 2008)

i think you should give it time


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## Ishnuvalok (Apr 27, 2008)

Lupercaleb said:


> give yourself some time without telling anyone, the urge to preach about it will fade.
> 
> do people REALLY need to know? it's not a big deal



Well, your right on statement 1, give yourself some time without telling anyone. Statement two is incorrect, it is important that IF your gay that you tell your family/friends. But only if your certain, otherwise it can endup really akward.


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## jcfynx (Apr 27, 2008)

Open up and say aaah


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## Azure (Apr 27, 2008)

Wow.  I was waiting for that one.


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## Aden (Apr 27, 2008)

Step 1: Do you like women? Y/N

Step 2: Do you like men? Y/N

If Y, N then straight. If N, Y then gay. If Y, Y then bi. If N, N then asexual.


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## Azure (Apr 27, 2008)

Ah, the original gay quiz.  Classic.  Lets all answer this one.

1. Y
2. Y

Easy.


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## Takun (Apr 27, 2008)

umm I didn't study, can I just copy off someone elses?


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## jcfynx (Apr 27, 2008)

Aden said:


> Step 1: Do you like women? Y/N
> 
> Step 2: Do you like men? Y/N
> 
> If Y, N then straight. If N, Y then gay. If Y, Y then bi. If N, N then asexual.



Actually, one is not necessarily asexual if one does not find human beings attractive


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## jcfynx (Apr 27, 2008)

One could for example enjoy various types of plants


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## Dyluck (Apr 27, 2008)

jcfynx said:


> One could for example enjoy various types of plants



And some people really do. It's kind of funny.

@ OP: If you're posting on FurAffinity, odds are pretty good that you're either gay or going to become gay. Sorry.


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## Anubis16 (Apr 27, 2008)

IGNORE WHAT EVERYONE HAS BEEN SAYING!!!!!!

Many people have just been saying "if you watch gay porn and are turned on, then you're gay.  If it doesn't, then you're not."  Well, all I can say is that for many it's just not that simple.  
I understand what you're going through, cus I was totally there six months ago.  You have to understand that it's a bit more complicated than gay vs. straight.  Most people don't 100% fit in either category, but still don't like the other enough to call themselves bi.  Personally I am very slightly bi: not enough to make me want to fuck a girl but enough to thoroughly confuse the hell out of me.  
Also, keep in mind not all gay people act like the stereotypical gay dude.  Personally I'm a pretty masculine person, and most people around me would never guess that I'm gay.  
My suggestion is to give the question some time and try to think about it with a clear head.  You don't have to figure it all out at once.  Just know that it's a complicated question which has been simplified by society.


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## Acisej (Apr 27, 2008)

I have quite a few homosexual friends, andfrom what I know, they expirimented and kept their seual orientaion pretty descreet until they knew for sure. With the exception of two. One fell in love with someone of the same gender. Inher case, gender didn't matter.
The other...well...let's just say he thinks when he hits puberty he'll turn into Electra and is not shy about fan-girling over guys in public.


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## Swampwulf (Apr 27, 2008)

From a guy with a lot of hard-earned grey in his beard:
Don't stress it till you find someone you like enough to think about having a relationship with.
if it's a women, you're either straight or bi.
If it's a guy you're either gay or bi.
If you don't find anyone you're interested in, maybe you need to think about expanding your circle of friends/ associates.

Once you *do* find that someone, and they turn out into turning a friendship into something more, then just _relax_.
There is no 'right or wrong' way to do stuff, just whatever feels good to you both and makes you happy.


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## Grimfang (Apr 27, 2008)

In all seriousness here, the most important to do is not let it stress you out.

I think hit a crisis from teen years up until about 20. I was raised Catholic, under a republican family. I was going through intense self-denial, even while looking at gay porn (no joke). Somehow, I had become convinced, through conversations with a couple people I knew online at that time, that it was normal to look at gay porn, or to fantasize from the guy's point of view.

Over time, I realized that I was really just lusting over the guys, and I feel a guy can fulfill emotional needs that a girl just can't. I went out with 4 girls in my high school years. Guess who ended those 4 relationships?

I dumped all 4, never feeling any attachment.

Eventually, I admitted it to myself, and I broke it to my mom first (out of my family). I told all my friends before this, but I was expecting to get kicked out of the house and disowned.

Well, it didn't go so horribly. But I think you should just give yourself some time. It requires a lot of self-searching. Before telling anyone, make sure you've come to realize what you feel, and that you're comfortable with it.


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## Takun (Apr 28, 2008)

God Grim you have the same story I have pretty much.  Good knowing people have/had the same problems as you.


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## Grimfang (Apr 28, 2008)

Takumi_L said:


> God Grim you have the same story I have pretty much.  Good knowing people have/had the same problems as you.



I know, right? Can't tell you how much time I've spent thinking "God, is this normal?"

Contrary to the avatar, I'm not effeminate or anything, so I think that makes it difficult too. Many perceive gays as flamboyant, well-dressed individuals. I'm almost always scruffy. Barely motivated enough to just use clippers to trim my bear, haha. I can't stand wearing collared shirts. I buy cheap, solid-color, generic clothing, or band shirts.

But, to Oberstbart, it's all what you make of it. Just take time for yourself and explore your own attractions. Don't dive into anything, and don't stress. After all, you're going to figure out what you're happy with, and things tend not to turn out as bad as you expect them to.


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## greg-the-fox (Apr 28, 2008)

Sweeet, another one joins our army >:3


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## Takun (Apr 28, 2008)

Agreed.

First of all  "DEEP BREATH"
Second.  Don't do anything rash or stupid.  I uhh...embarrassingly enough sunk into a depression for a month and was damn near making a stupid choice.
I'm still holding off telling people into I've found someone.  I need the support.


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## Oni (Apr 28, 2008)

oberstbart said:


> Seriously, I think I might be gay.
> 
> What to do!?
> How to tell!?
> ...


I suggest that you purchase a sexy suit and then take a sexy lady friend out to dinner and a movie. ^.^


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## Azure (Apr 28, 2008)

Grimfang said:


> I know, right? Can't tell you how much time I've spent thinking "God, is this normal?"
> 
> Contrary to the avatar, I'm not effeminate or anything, so I think that makes it difficult too. Many perceive gays as flamboyant, well-dressed individuals. I'm almost always scruffy. Barely motivated enough to just use clippers to trim my bear, haha. I can't stand wearing collared shirts. I buy cheap, solid-color, generic clothing, or band shirts.
> 
> But, to Oberstbart, it's all what you make of it. Just take time for yourself and explore your own attractions. Don't dive into anything, and don't stress. After all, you're going to figure out what you're happy with, and things tend not to turn out as bad as you expect them to.



Same here.  I've never really understood the whole flamey homo routine, it just seems to stigmatize them even more.


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## Grimfang (Apr 28, 2008)

By the way, I just noticed I said I was barely motivated enough to trim my "bear". That was supposed to be "beard", and it was not a slip of any sort.. :/
.. er.. just in case you guys were wondering what I meant...


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## Takun (Apr 28, 2008)

*puts down the razor*

....ok now this is awkward, what am I going to do with a half-shaven grizzly bear in my bathroom.  I assumed I was the only one here without a shaved bear.


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## AlexInsane (Apr 28, 2008)

*is a bear*

*flees before they can shave him* ;_;


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## Grimfang (Apr 28, 2008)

Takumi_L said:


> *puts down the razor*
> 
> ....ok now this is awkward, what am I going to do with a half-shaven grizzly bear in my bathroom.  I assumed I was the only one here without a shaved bear.





AlexInsane said:


> *is a bear*
> 
> *flees before they can shave him* ;_;



Smartasses.

In most circumstances, it would be an understood typo. But we're on a furry forum. I just felt this need to correct it.. >_>

Not wanting to go terribly OT, just curious OP: Did any of the answers here help? This is an issue I take seriously, so I hope it helps.


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## Wait Wait (Apr 28, 2008)

haha i've often thought of whether i'm becoming gay

i justify it pretty easily

i'm just _that_ narcissistic


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## Bokracroc (Apr 28, 2008)

oberstbart said:


> Seriously, I think I might be gay.
> 
> What to do!?
> How to tell!?
> ...



According to ALICE, no, you are not gay.
http://www.alicebot.org/


> Human: Do you think oberstbart is gay?
> ALICE: Why would I think oberstbart is gay.
> Human: Do you think he is gay?
> ALICE: No I think he is straight.


[/thread]


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## Slayn (Apr 28, 2008)

there is a very easy way to figure that out.  

may I suggest: fchan.us male section.


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## oberstbart (Apr 28, 2008)

Slayn said:


> there is a very easy way to figure that out.
> 
> may I suggest: fchan.us male section.


 
Fun place ^^




Oh shit D:


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## Dyluck (Apr 28, 2008)

oberstbart said:


> Fun place ^^
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Actually you should try gay.com. Furry smut isn't a good indicator as to whether or not you're gay, but it will try to turn you.








*ARE YOU?*


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## tsenjinn (Apr 28, 2008)

I blame furry alot too Dx


Starting to get partial tendancies here.
~fistshake.


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## greg-the-fox (Apr 28, 2008)

David M. Awesome said:


> Actually you should try gay.com. Furry smut isn't a good indicator as to whether or not you're gay, but it will try to turn you.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



For some reason porn with real people turns me on when I'm horny, but once I've uhh, finished, it really looses it's appeal and I realize it's kinda gross. Yiff doesnt somehow  It always stays awesome XD

I don't look at either as much these days though. Maybe I'm maturing? Â¯\()/Â¯


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## Dyluck (Apr 28, 2008)

greg-the-fox said:


> For some reason porn with real people turns me on when I'm horny, but once I've uhh, finished, it really looses it's appeal and I realize it's kinda gross. Yiff doesnt somehow  It always stays awesome XD
> 
> I don't look at either as much these days though. Maybe I'm maturing? Â¯\()/Â¯



No, your penis is dying. Enjoy it while you can.


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## loczell3 (Apr 29, 2008)

greg-the-fox said:


> For some reason porn with real people turns me on when I'm horny, but once I've uhh, finished, it really looses it's appeal and I realize it's kinda gross. Yiff doesnt somehow  It always stays awesome XD
> 
> I don't look at either as much these days though. Maybe I'm maturing? Â¯\()/Â¯



I feel the same way.

But anyway, most guys go through some sort of [sexual] identity crisis.  I think it's better for people to decide for themselves what they identify as, instead of following other people's preconceptions of what their personalities/identities may be.  I strongly doubt that any person is truly 100% gay or straight.  Everyone falls somewhere in the spectrum (yay puns) and they can shift.  I do, at least.

...and:  oh fchan...


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## Kimmerset (Apr 29, 2008)

Furry porn isn't a good way to determine your sexuality.  Try real porn, and if you're so bold, (safe) sex.


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## HiroJudgement (Apr 29, 2008)

I don't see the obsession with telling everyone that you've ever known ever about your sexual orientation. It's not like they NEED to know.


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## Kaiva (Apr 29, 2008)

Well thats pretty easy

watch lesbian porn (no males involved) : got a boner? yes = +6 | no = 0
watch gay porn (no females involved) : got a boner? yes = +4 | no = 0

0 = Porn isn't your thing
4 = your probably gay
6 = your probably straight
10 = Your Bi, and thats awesome!

if your stuck with 0 try actual full on sexual encounters (USE PROTECTION!) and try your score again, and by "full on sexual encounters" i mean penetration of some kind, or it doesn't count.

this is not by any means a reliable test of sexuality, you have to find it on your own, but tis might help get you started.


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## Kimmerset (Apr 29, 2008)

Agreed with Hiro's post.


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## cataractorange (Apr 29, 2008)

There is always the possibility that you aren't gay too.

Males are naturally attracted to some other males; something I'm going to call, more or less, 'jock-syndrome'.  Especially in locker rooms, men are very curious about other men and their bodies or will get awfully friendly towards one another.  This, however, doesn't make them necessarily gay.

But again, you will really never really know until you experiment or actually develop a relationship.


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## Rilvor (Apr 29, 2008)

HiroJudgement said:


> I don't see the obsession with telling everyone that you've ever known ever about your sexual orientation. It's not like they NEED to know.



You waste your time, logic is not allowed on a furry forum.


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## Arc (Apr 29, 2008)

Rilvor said:


> You waste your time, logic is not allowed on the interwebs.


fixed it


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## Takun (Apr 29, 2008)

Rilvor said:


> You waste your time, logic is not allowed on a furry forum.


What was that?  I was too busy yelling, "I'M REALLY GAY!" through a megaphone.


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## eternal_flare (Apr 29, 2008)

Rilvor said:


> You waste your time, your logic is not allowed on my furry forum.



Fixed twice.


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## sgolem (Apr 29, 2008)

It's not gay until the balls touch.

There is nothing wrong with being gay, so don't treat it like that.  It's only viewed as a deviance because people treat it as one, if you can understand what I mean.


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## oberstbart (Apr 29, 2008)

sgolem said:


> It's not gay until the balls touch.
> 
> There is nothing wrong with being gay, so don't treat it like that. It's only viewed as a deviance because people treat it as one, if you can understand what I mean.


 
I know theres nothing wrong with being gay, and I wouldn't die if I turned out to be. It's just that I'm so unsure, wich makes me kinda frustrated.


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## AlexInsane (Apr 29, 2008)

Alicebot kills me.

Human: I don't care.
ALICE: Tell me what you care about.
Human: Penises.
ALICE: Do you believe the strong protect the weak? 

LOL.

EDIT: This too.

ALICE: Are you a man or a woman?
Human: I am a potato.
ALICE: You are a potato? Does it pay well?


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## Azure (Apr 29, 2008)

Yeah, it cant seem to answer a simple question, but it can tell you all about it creator, even where he lives.


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## ferretsage (Apr 29, 2008)

At OP:

Being gay is more than just external. Your orientation is more detailed than just the porn you get off to.

When not looking at porn, who do you sexually fantasize about? A guy or a gal?

If you wanted to spend the rest of you life with someone, would it be a guy or a gal -- ideally?

Furthermore, sexual orientation is more than just gay vs bi vs straight. Here -- visit this URL http://www.youthnetsouthampton.org.uk/breakout/kleingrid.php and follow the instructions. It will give you a basic skeletal outline of your orientation.


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## Azure (Apr 29, 2008)

Hmm, 3.38, not too bad.


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## Takun (Apr 29, 2008)

4.52....yep gay.


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## oberstbart (Apr 30, 2008)

3.50
Surprising actually, I was thinking it would be higher.


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## Bokracroc (Apr 30, 2008)

AlexInsane said:


> Alicebot kills me.
> 
> Human: I don't care.
> ALICE: Tell me what you care about.
> ...



 Human: Are you high?
ALICE: Being high is my total existence.


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## WOLFIE DA FOX (May 1, 2008)

your probly bi
try the renalds wrap test and if you can rip it off perfectly without messing it up your gay


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## Nocturne (May 1, 2008)

I really doubt anyone in the world is 100% straight, its really more of a spectrum than a switch.

One thing thats been hinted at, but not said, is that your orientation is a part of you, but it doesn't define you.  It is just one detail of an amazingly complex human personality.


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## capthavoc123 (May 1, 2008)

If you have to ask other people if you're gay...then you probably are. You're just asking for validation.


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## Kimmerset (May 1, 2008)

Do a hip check and then giggle. If you can do that, you're gay.


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## Ishnuvalok (May 1, 2008)

Kimmerset said:


> Do a hip check and then giggle. If you can do that, you're gay.


I am guilty of doing that...several times.


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## Kimmerset (May 1, 2008)

I have a friend with a video of me hip checking while I palm the mic for Rock Band. It's near one of the gayest things ever.


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## Takun (May 1, 2008)

Define that exactly for me...

...however I am guilty of fixing my hair in my car mirror while driving...like 30% of the time.


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## Grimfang (May 1, 2008)

Kimmerset said:


> I have a friend with a video of me hip checking while I palm the mic for Rock Band. It's near one of the gayest things ever.



Haha.. this, I would love to see xD
You know how when bands perform, the guitarist or vocalist may get up in each other's face, or lean into the drummer or something along those lines... we could make a really sexy show, you know..



Takumi_L said:


> Define that exactly for me...
> 
> ...however I am guilty of fixing my hair in my car mirror while driving...like 30% of the time.



Ya.. about that. I have a habit of "Oh damn.. is my hair messed up?" *check mirror*
Usually not while driving though. After parking, this is a mandatory step in turning my car off.


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## Takun (May 2, 2008)

Oh no.  I do it for at least 30% of the drive.  Like anyone cares...I'm like.  Bah my hair looks bad *mess mess mes*....2 minutes later

God again  *fix fix fix*

And then when I park.  I guess I just like playing with my long hair.


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## Azure (May 2, 2008)

Lucky, you have long hair.  Mine is not that short, not too long, and I usually let it wind dry in the car, so I'm fixing my hair almost the entire drive.  i can make it into any form I wish.


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## Dyluck (May 2, 2008)

I used to have somewhat long hair, but I found myself messing with it constantly as well. So I cut it all off. Now it's like three inches long. D:


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## Arc (May 2, 2008)

David M. Awesome said:


> I used to have somewhat long hair, but I found myself messing with it constantly as well. So I cut it all off. Now it's like three inches long. D:



I think I should write something about me having a fur and no hair.
But I already annoyed enough people for today. 
I spent the whole day in the German "World of Warcraft" Off-Topic Forum referring to myself as a Wolf, using the third person.

"The Wolf is tired now."


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## Dyluck (May 2, 2008)

*SIGH*


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## Takun (May 2, 2008)

ArcticWolf said:


> I think I should write something about me having a fur and no hair.
> But I already annoyed enough people for today.
> I spent the whole day in the German "World of Warcraft" Off-Topic Forum referring to myself as a Wolf, using the third person.
> 
> "The Wolf is tired now."



Are you the germen version of the US general boards "Zmue?"

Haha, I miss talking with Zmue  He was a funny guy.


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## Ishnuvalok (May 2, 2008)

Blah, I hate it when my hair gets to long. It's all curly and poofy. Like the pop-star Mika's hair. Exactly like that. And if I use a blow-dryer....you don't want to know.


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## Takun (May 2, 2008)

I love when my hair gets poofy!!!  I wear a hat to smush it down and then it poofs out from it.


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## Ishnuvalok (May 2, 2008)

Bah, my hair is getting longer now, Next month I'm getting a hair cut. Really short, just in time for the summer.


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## FourLetterWord (May 2, 2008)

Try jerking off to a picture of a dude--furry first, then just plain human.

If both work for you then you are probably gay to the degree they work for you.

Its not really complicated and, despite the advice i just gave, I can't really recommend asking the internet about it.


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## Nebuk (May 2, 2008)

I tried so hard to be straight, but I learned that if you have to doubt yourself, you are most likely gay.
I don't know what type of person you are, but from my own experience, there'll be a lot of denial. At some points for me, I was watching gay porn and still trying to tell myself I was straight. The only thing that can fix it all is time. Eventually, if you find yourself to be gay, you'll be cool with it. It won't be easy, and it won't happen in a week.


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