# You have two cows



## Digitalpotato (Nov 5, 2008)

*Second Life*
You have two cows, but then someone hacks them and turns them into a penis-storm.

*The World Ends With You*
You have two cows. Fail and face erasure.

*The World Ends With You - 2*
You have two cows, on both screens of the DS.

*Tales of the Abyss*
You have two cows, but one is really a replica of the other.

*The American Two-party system*
You have two cows but they are both very very moody, so you decide to milk the lesser of two evils.

*Cambodia*
You have two cows. The Government takes both and shoots you.

*l33t sp33k*
j00 h@\/ 2 c0\/\/$.

*World of Warcraft*
You have two cows, but the last patch nerfed them so badly you use a goat.

*communism*
You have two cows. Your neighbours all help you take care of them and everyone shares the milk.

*Capitalism*
You have two cows. you sell one and buy a bull.

*Furaffinity*
you have two anthro-cow-fursonae....


----------



## Tycho (Nov 5, 2008)

I lol'd a bit.

Nice.


----------



## Thatch (Nov 5, 2008)

it's not funny if it's not about economy


----------



## pheonix (Nov 5, 2008)

That was pretty funny, it made me smile.


----------



## mrredfox (Nov 5, 2008)

can has cow?


----------



## Nylak (Nov 5, 2008)

mrredfox said:


> can has cow?


 
*Lolcat*
i can has cowz?


----------



## ramsay_baggins (Nov 5, 2008)

I like this version ^_^
I've seen the massive four page long version.
I like the examples XD


----------



## Wreth (Nov 5, 2008)

I don't understand.


----------



## Gavrill (Nov 5, 2008)

*Russia: *You have two cows. And then four cows. Then six.

Then you stop drinking. There's two cows again!


----------



## Nylak (Nov 5, 2008)

Shenzi said:


> *Russia: *You have two cows. And then four cows. Then six.
> 
> Then you stop drinking. There's two cows again!


 

Hahahaha yesss.  X3


----------



## Art Vulpine (Nov 5, 2008)

Mc Donalds

There were two cows...
Until Ronald Mc Donald got his hands on them.


----------



## Teco (Nov 5, 2008)

*tips your cows*


----------



## Xero108 (Nov 5, 2008)

=/


----------



## ÃedÃ¡n (Nov 5, 2008)

this i plead is win


----------



## Art Vulpine (Nov 5, 2008)

Portal

You have two cows.

You exchange them for cake and a Weighted Companion Cube


----------



## LonelyFox (Nov 5, 2008)

Crisis:

You have two cows, but your game lags too much so you have to change the settings so that you cant see them


----------



## Digitalpotato (Nov 5, 2008)

*Gmod*
You have two cows. You make them smile and then light them on fire.

*Barack Obama*
You have two cows that you spent so much money on you could have bailed out the economy.

*South Park*
You have two co-OH MY GOD THEY KILLED KENNY! THOSE BASTARDS!

*The Angry Video Game nerds*
I have two cows, and I'd rather have them take a diarrhea dump in my ear than having to play this shitty game about having two cows! 

*The Irate Gamer*
See angry Video game nerd. Try that.

*Nostalgia critic*
I have two cows and I milk them so you don't have to.


----------



## Xaerun (Nov 5, 2008)

Keep it going, dude!

*EDIT*
*CounterStrike: Source*:
You have two cows, you shoot them. Money is lost, but at least you don't have to defend the fucking things anymore.

*Army of Two:*
You have two cows, one parachute. HOOAH!

*GTA IV:*
You have two c- COUSIN! WANT TO GO SEE SOME REAL AMERICAN TITTIES?

*Devil May Cry 4:*
You have two cows. They're totally different cows, but nobody that hasn't played thoroughly would realise that as you dress them near exactly the same and they behave in an extremely similar fashion.

*Zero Punctuation:*
youhavetwocowsbuttheyhavereallyquitenoticableerrorsapparentlythemultiplayerredeemsthisbutyoudontbuyagameforthemultiplayeranditshouldbeabletocarryitselfanyway


----------



## Shark_the_raptor (Nov 5, 2008)

Hmm.  I see your two cows, and raise you three.


----------



## Tycho (Nov 6, 2008)

blah.


----------



## Dyluck (Nov 6, 2008)

*You have two cows, one cup.*

[/thread]


----------



## Asmiro (Nov 6, 2008)

David M. Awesome said:


> *You have two cows, one cup.*
> 
> [/thread]




I was going to post something; then I saw this and now I want to kill a cow.


----------



## Kangamutt (Nov 6, 2008)

David M. Awesome said:


> *You have two cows, one cup.*
> 
> [/thread]



LMFAO.

You have two cows. How many are there? Show your work.


----------



## Nylak (Nov 6, 2008)

David M. Awesome said:


> *You have two cows, one cup.*
> 
> [/thread]


 

Thanks.  Let the nightmares begin.  *headkeyboard*  r678ij


----------



## LizardKing (Nov 6, 2008)

Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It's goes buggerit! millennium hand and shrimp! i _told_ 'em!
That's not my cow, that's Foul ol' Ron


----------



## Nickk (Nov 6, 2008)

Nylak said:


> *Lolcat*
> i can has cowz?


 
Yes you can:

*No NSFW images, please.*

Art and cow copyrighted to Strider: www.furaffinity.net/user/striderorion


----------



## LizardKing (Nov 6, 2008)

That is not my cow!


----------



## Teco (Nov 6, 2008)

David M. Awesome said:


> *You have two cows, one cup.*
> 
> [/thread]



...My miiiiiiiiiiindddd...dah. *shuts down *


----------



## Xaerun (Nov 6, 2008)

Nickk said:


> Yes you can:
> 
> <Snip>
> 
> Art and cow copyrighted to Strider: www.furaffinity.net/user/striderorion


Please keep forums PG-13. You may link to the art, if you mark it NSFW.



LizardKing said:


> That is not my cow!


Give it back, you are a furry.
It doesn't even fit.


----------



## Blondi (Nov 6, 2008)

In finland i have 50 cows, i dont need two


----------



## Shark_the_raptor (Nov 6, 2008)

*In Soviet Russia*
Two cows have YOU.

Lame I know.


----------



## LizardKing (Nov 6, 2008)

Shark_the_raptor said:


> *In Soviet Russia*
> Two cows have YOU.
> 
> Lame I know.



In Soviet Russia, cow milks you!

I would add an entirely appropriate yet horrible link here but it'd probably get me banned.


----------



## mrredfox (Nov 6, 2008)

jack and the bean stalk: you have 2 cows, you trade them for magical beens


----------



## Gavrill (Nov 6, 2008)

LizardKing said:


> In Soviet Russia, cow milks you!
> 
> I would add an entirely appropriate yet horrible link here but it'd probably get me banned.


On a furry forum? You're quite safe.


----------



## Verin Asper (Nov 6, 2008)

*Super Mario*
You have two cows, and bowser keeps on taking them

*Havest Moon*
You have two cows, for you stupidly accidently bought a second one
*
Havest Moon-Emulator*
You have two cows, realizing your mistake you go back a save and buy a cow and a Bull


----------



## Gavrill (Nov 6, 2008)

Desume Crysis Kaiser said:


> *Havest Moon*
> You have two cows, for you stupidly accidently bought a second one



 I do that all the drat time.


----------



## Verin Asper (Nov 6, 2008)

Shenzi said:


> I do that all the drat time.


Earlier Harvest moon you could have 2 cows and both will give milk...newer ones...now ya gotta get a bull, its why I dun play the newer Havest moons =3


----------



## Gavrill (Nov 6, 2008)

Desume Crysis Kaiser said:


> Earlier Harvest moon you could have 2 cows and both will give milk...newer ones...now ya gotta get a bull, its why I dun play the newer Havest moons =3


I play em anyways cause the bulls are adorable.


----------



## Verin Asper (Nov 6, 2008)

Shenzi said:


> I play em anyways cause the bulls are adorable.


Older sister got the newest Harvest moon, but I still miss those days where you can get teh Harvest spirts to help ya out on the farm.


----------



## Uro (Nov 6, 2008)

Digitalpotato said:


> *Tales of the Abyss*
> You have two cows, but one is really a replica of the other.



Twas a good game.
Gogo tales of series!!


----------



## Enigmaticat (Nov 6, 2008)

Shark_the_raptor said:


> *In Soviet Russia*
> Two cows *Milk *YOU.
> 
> Lame I know.


Fix'd


----------



## Uro (Nov 6, 2008)

This thread makes me go "wtf?"


----------



## Midi Bear (Nov 6, 2008)

*Australia:*
You have two cows. Both get eaten by a single huntsman spider.


----------



## mrredfox (Nov 6, 2008)

american: iraq has two cows, both get taken by the US. 
xD


----------



## Midi Bear (Nov 6, 2008)

*Terrorism:*
There are two cows on a train. BOOM!


----------



## mrredfox (Nov 6, 2008)

Midi Bear said:


> *Terrorism:*
> There are two cows on a train. BOOM!


ha lol

christian: There are two cows, lets hold a fate.


----------



## Art Vulpine (Nov 6, 2008)

Two cows walk into a bar.

The bar tender says "What is this? Some kind of a joke?"

Two cows + forcefed tons of chocolate syrup + Shaking them = chocolate milk!!!

Two cows walk into a steak house. They were never heard from again.


----------



## Thatch (Nov 6, 2008)

Politics:
You were promised two cows, instead you get two cow-skins and a bottle of milk.


----------



## LizardKing (Nov 6, 2008)

*The Simpsons:*
You have 2 cows. Bart is jealous.

*Diablo 2:
*You have 2 cows. They pick up halberds and attack you.

*Amateur Animal Porn Maker:
*You have 2 cows. Why aren't they fucking yet?

*Fallout 2:*
You have two cows, totalling 4 heads.


----------



## Tycho (Nov 6, 2008)

That pic is probably gonna earn you an infraction.

But DAMN it is hot.


----------



## ramsay_baggins (Nov 6, 2008)

LizardKing said:


> Where's my cow?
> Is that my cow?
> It's goes buggerit! millennium hand and shrimp! i _told_ 'em!
> That's not my cow, that's Foul ol' Ron



<3


----------



## Xaerun (Nov 7, 2008)

Midi Bear said:


> *Australia:*
> You have two cows. Both get eaten by a single huntsman spider.



*giggles, and draws his revolver*

*Australia*
Ya have two cows. Struth, why the bloody hell arn't they on the barbie yet, ya drongo?

^fix'd.

And it'd be funnel webs, not huntsmans, imo.


----------



## Enigmaticat (Nov 7, 2008)

I had two cows. 





And now I have one.


----------



## Xaerun (Nov 7, 2008)

Silibus said:


> I had two cows.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Son, there ain't no cow in that shit.


----------



## Dyluck (Nov 7, 2008)

Xaerun said:


> Son, there ain't no cow in that shit.



Hey

There's meat in the advertisement photos


----------



## Digitalpotato (Nov 7, 2008)

*Text Adventure games*
You have two cows. What do you do?
>Walk to them
Don't know what WALK means. What do you do?
>Milk Cows.
Milk which one?
>Milk one
You're not close enough
>Go south
Okay
>Go south again
Don't know what AGAIN means
>Look cows
You see two cows that are yours. one of them is black and the other is a roany shade. They are both eating grass in their pasture. The gate is currently closed
>Open gate
You're not close enough!

*Zork*
You have two cows but they are likely to be eaten by a grue.

*Dungeons and dragons*
You have two cows and in order to milk them you need to make a skill check.

*Fallout fanboys*
You have two cows. They are getting very old and you want a new one, but then you finally get a new on-WAIT! THIS ISN'T THE SAME AS THE FIRST TWO IT SUCKS! BAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!

*PC and Mac*
You have two cows. One is a PC and one is a Mac.

*Math*
You have _x_ cows. Let _x_ = 2.

*Stupid math questions.*
You have two cows. how many cows do you have?
2.
Please explain your answer.


----------



## ArielMT (Nov 7, 2008)

Digitalpotato said:


> *PC and Mac*
> You have two cows. One is a PC and one is a Mac.



The PC cow crashes into things and tips herself over frequently and without reason.  This is promised to be fixed in the next version of cow.

The Mac cow fetches a nice price, but she can't be milked except by special and expensive Apple milking machines that will be obsolete when the next cow update comes out.


----------



## Irreverent (Nov 7, 2008)

Inari85 said:


> Two cows walk into a bar.




Cows have bad eyesight.....you think one of them would have seen it.


----------



## Digitalpotato (Nov 7, 2008)

*Internet Explorer*
You have to cows that constantly tip over. 

*Mozilla Firefox*
You have two cows that you can spiff the hell out of with AddOns, even though you really don't need them. adding too many AddOns at once causes them to tip over and run into walls while the other one tips over and constantly falls down like they're super drunk off their ass. 

They're also the only two cows that actually manage to wreck the Apple milking machines. (True story...Firefox is the only program that crashed my Mac)

*Opera*
You have two cows and they stop working. Shame that everything's now made with Idiot Exploder and Firefux and won't work best with Opera....

*Google Chrome*
You became so dependent on AddOns you can't stand using these two cows.

*Linksys Wireless Network*
You have two cows and you try to hook them up to a machine that milks two cows at once. It works fine with one but the other one doesn't seem to even pick up that it's even hooked up. You set it right next to them and hook them up with a chord and then that doesn't work. You unplug the main one and then plug it back in and that doesn't work. You finally get the second machine to work only for it to decide to crap out at random intervals. By now the first cow's done milking so in order to save on electricity you restart the milking station only for it to suddenly shut off the SECOND station. You get it back on only for it to randomly crap out AGAIN, and this time you realize that Farmer Ben was mooching off your milking machine and when he shut his off it took down EVERYTHING. Finally you get it to work and then place one of them under a Metal Chair, which shouldn't be doing any good yet surprisingly it works better and finally milks the second cow. And this is supposed to be one of the best quality products there are in this field....

*AirPort*
You hook AirPort up to the milking machine described and it actually connects and works better than the Linksys products. 

*AT&T*
You have two cows, and you hire someone to help milk them for you but you're being charged to have TWO people come over. You don't pay the bill for one of them and eventually, AT&T sends you a letter saying they'll cut off that person if you don't pay. You still refuse to pay for someone who never shows up but they still charge you for that person to come over and help milk the cows.

*Comcast*
You have two cows. You hire someone to help take care of them while you work on your other farm animals but then he suddenly stops showing up. You call the union to ask why he's not there only for them to put you on hold for four hours. You wait and then he comes back three weeks later. And he charges you for the entire month of work he's doing for you.

*Comcast - 2*
You have two cows. They suddenly get sick and you call a vet. They put you on hold for four hours. They say they'll come look at the two cows on Tuesday. Wednesday rolls around and they still haven't shown up. Then on Friday they show up and say that there's nothing wrong with them despite that anyone can see that they clearly are SICK AS A DOG.

*Otakus*
Kawaaaaiiiii, Japanese cows are so much better than American cows foolish inuyashafangirl-chan. DESU!


----------



## mrredfox (Nov 7, 2008)

007 :
you have two cows, you have sex with them both within 5 minuites of meeting.


----------



## Aden (Nov 7, 2008)

*Les Paul*:
You have two cows. They're worth a lot of money and considered to be some of the greatest cows ever made, but they don't actually perform better than other, cheaper cows. However, cow snobs around the world swear by them.

\Flame on.


----------



## ArielMT (Nov 7, 2008)

*Mission Impossible:*
Good morning, Mr. Hunt.  The enemy has two cows.  This mission, should you choose to accept it, is to milk the cows. If you are caught or killed, the secretary will disavow any knowledge of your actions.  This cow will self-destruct in five seconds.


----------



## Short-snout (Nov 7, 2008)

*Energy crisis:*you have 2 cows

Create a mooclear powerstation that burns cow shit, to boil water, to turn a turbine to make electricity!! 

World energy crisis solved- Fuck Oil barrons get cow Barrons!!


----------



## Verin Asper (Nov 7, 2008)

*Metal Gear*
You see two cows...you swore you only saw one a few seconds ago


----------



## Aden (Nov 7, 2008)

Desume Crysis Kaiser said:


> *Metal Gear*
> You see two cows...you swore you only saw one a few seconds ago



*Metal Gear*:
You see two Gateway computer boxes.


----------



## Midi Bear (Nov 7, 2008)

Teens:
There are two cows sleeping in a field. TIP AND RUN!!


----------



## Dyluck (Nov 7, 2008)

*Teenagers*:

You have two cows, but neither of them understands what you're going through.


----------



## Takun (Nov 7, 2008)

*/b/: *You have two cows and those two cows will be reposted everyday until you like them

They also probably have shitting dick nipples.


----------



## ArielMT (Nov 7, 2008)

Takumi_L said:


> */b/: *You have two cows and those two cows will be reposted everyday until you like them
> 
> They also probably have shitting dick nipples.



*/b/:*
Two cows is not a meme.


----------



## Enigmaticat (Nov 7, 2008)

*Monopoly: *
You have two cows; one owns the board, the other goes to jail, and does not pass go.


----------



## Takun (Nov 7, 2008)

ArielMT said:


> */b/:*
> Two cows is not a meme.


 
*/b/:*
Two cows is not a meme is a meme.


----------



## Xaerun (Nov 7, 2008)

*Pot:*
You have two cows... but what'll you do with em, dude... do with what? I don't fuckin' know, man! Shit dude, let's just... I dunno.

*FurAffinity:*
You have two cows, but they're down due to technical difficulty. You hammer the shit out of F5 for a few hours.


----------



## Enigmaticat (Nov 7, 2008)

*FAF:* 
You have two cows, both are trolls. In disguise.


----------



## Takun (Nov 7, 2008)

Philosphy: You have two cows, or do you?  Do any of us?


----------



## Xaerun (Nov 7, 2008)

Takumi_L said:


> Philosphy: You have two cows, or do you?  Do any of us?



*Rilvor:*
You have two cows. Discuss.


----------



## Takun (Nov 7, 2008)

Pokemon:
_Two wild cows appear!_


----------



## Bokracroc (Nov 7, 2008)

www.tucows.com/


----------



## Enigmaticat (Nov 7, 2008)

*Twister:*
Flying cows.


----------



## Gavrill (Nov 7, 2008)

Takumi_L said:


> Pokemon:
> _Two wild cows appear!_


Damn it I hate double battles


----------



## Verin Asper (Nov 8, 2008)

*Blizzard*
There is no two cow level


----------



## Xaerun (Nov 8, 2008)

*Herpes*
You have two cows, and they'll NEVER go away. NEVER.


----------



## Takun (Nov 8, 2008)

*Divorce:*

You had two cows, now you only get to see them every other weekend and on a few holidays.


----------



## Tungen (Nov 8, 2008)

*Meatloaf*

You would do anything for your cows, but you wouldn't do THAT. That would just be sick.


----------



## Verin Asper (Nov 8, 2008)

*Medieval Times*
You have two Dead cows, you hurl them at your enemies using a catapult.


----------



## Takun (Nov 8, 2008)

*Medieval Times:*
Thou doth haveth II bovine


----------



## Tungen (Nov 8, 2008)

*DragonBallZ:*

You have over 9000 cows!

It is, however, entirely possible that their balls are inert.


----------



## Takun (Nov 8, 2008)

*Hipster:*
You don't have two cows.  Cows are full of corporate pushed bullshit.


----------



## Xaerun (Nov 8, 2008)

*So Cash*
Hey Furfags, 
My name is cow, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day eating burgers. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any chicken? I mean, I guess it's fun eating animals because of your fast-food chains, but you all take it to a whole new level. This is even worse than eating frozen McDonalds 'beef'. 
Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I won 1st prize at the Melbourne Show, and star in many nursery rhymes. What do you do, other than "Kill hundreds of relatively defenseless animals"? I also produce motherfucking milk, and have a banging hot second cow (She just milked me; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening. 
Pic Related: It's me and my second cow.


----------



## mrredfox (Nov 8, 2008)

conspiracy:
You have two cows. No you dont.


----------



## Takun (Nov 8, 2008)

*Livejournal:
*You have two cows, omg r they teen prego?!


----------



## Aden (Nov 8, 2008)

*wtf_fa*:
You have two cows, and they both have macro shitting dick udders that vore things. And they're wearing diapers. With stains in them.


----------



## Art Vulpine (Nov 8, 2008)

Myspace...

Come see my two cows page.

Wait a mintute...

Why is this a spam link to a porno site?

Microsoft

You had two cows.

But they crashed due to a virus.

Star Fox

Peppy tells the cows to "Do a Barrel Roll."

Anthrocon

Two cows were let into the con because they were mistakened for being a fursuit couple.

Until Uncle Kage found them.

Army of Darkness

There were tow cows... until they were killed by Ash's "Boomstick"

Star Wars.

Luke Skywalker used two cows and with the power of the Force threw them into the exhaust port, thus blowing up the death star.


----------



## Digitalpotato (Nov 8, 2008)

Aden said:


> *wtf_fa*:
> You have two cows, and they both have macro shitting dick udders that vore things. And they're wearing diapers. With stains in them.



You forgot to work in fat. 

*Cyoc*
You have two cows. One is a werewolf, the other is a gay werewolf, and there is the potential that the other is gay.


----------



## Aden (Nov 8, 2008)

Digitalpotato said:


> You forgot to work in fat.



FUCK, I always forget fat. It's one of the things that annoys me most, too.


----------



## Verin Asper (Nov 8, 2008)

Unreal Tournament
You have See Two Nali Cows, both with Miniguns and you with 5 health


----------



## Tungen (Nov 8, 2008)

*World of Warcraft:*
You have two cows. The guy with ten cows calls you a noob and ganks your cows, then tells you to "QQ less" when you attempt to protest.


----------



## runner (Nov 8, 2008)

*Dawn of war*
You have 2 cows, 1 space marine squad, and no requisition 
*Gears of war 2*
You have 2 cows, no ammo, and 4500 tickers heading your way


----------



## Verin Asper (Nov 8, 2008)

C&C Generals
You build two cows, you send those two cows towards the enemy, minutes later those two Cows finish destroying the Enemy base.


----------



## Takun (Nov 9, 2008)

*Mexico:*
Tienes dos vaca.


----------



## Tungen (Nov 9, 2008)

*The Electoral College*
You have two cows and two goats. The cows produce more milk, so you mix all of the milk together and sell it as Cow milk.


----------



## Ð˜Ð²Ð°Ð½ (Nov 9, 2008)

*Quebec*
Tu as deux vaches.


----------



## Kangamutt (Nov 9, 2008)

*Katamri Damacy*
You have two cows. You roll them up and add a good two extra meters to the ball.


----------



## Azure (Nov 9, 2008)

Pulp Fiction:
You have 2 cows, and they both make a tasty burger.


----------



## Tungen (Nov 9, 2008)

*Overused internet jokes*
In Soviet Russia, over 9000 cows have your mom in Chuck Norris' pants.


----------



## lilEmber (Nov 9, 2008)

Pink, too much or not enough?


----------



## Enigmaticat (Nov 9, 2008)

*Rule 22 & 23:
*You have two cows.
*Rule 22 & 23:
*You have two cows.
*Rule 22 & 23:
*You have two cows.
*Rule 22 & 23:
*You have two cows.
*Rule 22 & 23:
*You have two cows.
*Rule 22 & 23:
*You have two cows.
*Rule 22 & 23:
*You have two cows.
*Rule 22 & 23:
*You have two cows.
*Rule 22 & 23:
*You have two cows.
*Rule 22 & 23:
*You have two cows.
*Rule 22 & 23:
*You have two cows.


----------



## Xaerun (Nov 9, 2008)

LemurBoi said:


> Pulp Fiction:
> You have 2 cows, and they both make a tasty burger.



*Pulp Fiction*
You have two cows.
DO THEY LOOK LIKE A BITCH?


----------



## Enigmaticat (Nov 9, 2008)

*Rule 22 & 23:
*You have two cows.
*Rule 22 & 23:
*You have two cows.
*Rule 22 & 23:
*You have two cows.
*Rule 22 & 23:
*You have two cows.
*Rule 22 & 23:
*You have two cows.
*Rule 22 & 23:
*You have two cows.
*Rule 22 & 23:
*You have two cows.
*Rule 22 & 23:
*You have two cows.
*Rule 22 & 23:
*You have two cows.
*Rule 22 & 23:
*You have two cows.
*Rule 22 & 23:
*You have two cows.
*Rule 22 & 23:
*You have two cows.
*Rule 22 & 23:
*You have two cows.
*Rule 22 & 23:
*You have two cows.
*Rule 22 & 23:
*You have two cows.
*Rule 22 & 23:
*You have two cows.
*Rule 22 & 23:
*You have two cows.
*Rule 22 & 23:
*You have two cows.
*Rule 22 & 23:
*You have two cows.
*Rule 22 & 23:
*You have two cows.
*Rule 22 & 23:
*You have two cows.
*Rule 22 & 23:
*You have two cows.
*Rule 22 & 23:
*You have two cows.
*Rule 22 & 23:
*You have two cows.
*Rule 22 & 23:
*You have two cows.
*Rule 22 & 23:
*You have two cows.
*Rule 22 & 23:
*You have two cows.
*Rule 22 & 23:
*You have two cows.
*Rule 22 & 23:
*You have two cows.
*Rule 22 & 23:
*You have two cows.
*Rule 22 & 23:
*You have two cows.
*Rule 22 & 23:
*You have two cows.
*Rule 22 & 23:
*You have two cows.
*Rule 22 & 23:
*You have two cows.
*Rule 22 & 23:
*You have two cows.
*Rule 22 & 23:
*You have two cows.
*Rule 22 & 23:
*You have two cows.
*Rule 22 & 23:
*You have two cows.
*Rule 22 & 23:
*You have two cows.
*Rule 22 & 23:
*You have two cows.
*Rule 22 & 23:
*You have two cows.
*Rule 22 & 23:
*You have two cows.
*Rule 22 & 23:
*You have two cows.
*Rule 22 & 23:
*You have two cows.


----------



## mrredfox (Nov 9, 2008)

*Rule 1&2:*


----------



## Enigmaticat (Nov 9, 2008)

mrredfox said:


> *Rule 1&2:*
> We do not talk about cows.
> We do NOT talk about cows.


Fix'd


----------



## Xaerun (Nov 9, 2008)

*Rule 34*
Aw, fuck no. Seriously. Dude.


----------



## Midi Bear (Nov 9, 2008)

Rule 35:
You can't find porn of two cows.. now go forth and make some.


----------



## Verin Asper (Nov 9, 2008)

Playing Video Games
You just got two cows you go to save and *Power outage* FFFFFFF *power comes back on* This file is corrupted


----------



## Takun (Nov 9, 2008)

*Fight Club*

You have two cows, but they are really one insane cow.


----------



## mrredfox (Nov 9, 2008)

Silibus said:


> Fix'd


no because your not allowed to talk about it


----------



## Enigmaticat (Nov 9, 2008)

*Rule 45:
*Cow goes here.


----------



## Verin Asper (Nov 9, 2008)

The Internet
Out there...there is a picture of Two cows, what kinds of pictures...I fearful of it


----------



## Azure (Nov 9, 2008)

Takumi_L said:


> *Fight Club*
> 
> You have two cows, but they are really one insane cow.


You had two cows.

Their names were Robert Paulson.


----------



## Enigmaticat (Nov 9, 2008)

*Two cows thread:
*Two cows will keep posting about two cows, until the thread is locked.


----------



## Verin Asper (Nov 9, 2008)

Dragon Ball Z
Takes 5 episodes to find one cow, 5 to find the other, 3 to save the cows when they were stolen, 10 to milk both cows and 3 to sell the milk.


----------



## Takun (Nov 9, 2008)

LemurBoi said:


> You had two cows.
> 
> Their names were Robert Paulson.


 
HIS NAME WAS ROBERT PAULSON.
HIS NAME WAS ROBERT PAULSON.
HIS NAME WAS ROBERT PAULSON.


----------



## mrredfox (Nov 9, 2008)

Two cows thread:
You have two cows.


----------



## Tycho (Nov 9, 2008)

*NetHack:*

You have two tins of cow meat.  Eat one? (y/n)


----------



## Tungen (Nov 9, 2008)

*Kingdom of Loathing.*
You have two cows. You grind them into meat paste. And people actually accept this as money. Then a bad pun attacks you at random.


----------



## Digitalpotato (Nov 10, 2008)

Tungen said:


> *Overused internet jokes*
> In Soviet Russia, over 9000 cows have your mom in Chuck Norris' pants.




In Soviet Russia, Over 90000 cows rickroll your mom in Chuck Norris' pants. FOOL, you activated my trap card! 


Fixed. 


*Rilvor*
You troll two cows....

*Twilight*
you have two cows...until that stupid Vegan Vampire bled them dry.  

*Twilight - 2*
You have two bulls, one of them is sparkly and the other you think is cannibalistic since it likes meat. They both want the cow but the cow only wants the sparkly one.

*Harry Potter*
You have two cows, but neither can live while the other survives.

*Yu-Gi-oh!*
You have activated my Two Cows card!

*Yu-Gi-Oh the abridged series*
Screw the rules - I have two cows.

*Yu-Gi-Oh the abridged series -2*
ATTENTION DUELISTS - My hair has two cows.

*yu-Gi-Oh the abrided series -3*
MY VOICE GIVES ME TWO COWS!

*Yu-Gi-Oh the abridged series -4*
You have two cows but one of them is a LittleKuriboh imposter.

*____ the abridged series*
You have two cows and their jokes all appeared in LittleKuriboh's films.

*ytmnd*
You make a page about two cows but then it's downvoted by someone who hates two cows.


----------



## LonelyFox (Nov 10, 2008)

Tungen said:


> *Kingdom of Loathing.*
> You have two cows. You grind them into meat paste. And people actually accept this as money. Then a bad pun attacks you at random.



hey I LOVE THAT GAME! >:3

and its so true =D


----------



## Tycho (Nov 10, 2008)

*Aliens:*

You have two cows.  You mutilate them horribly and leave them in old Farmer Cleatus' pasture, where they are discovered and are later sensationalized in tabloids and on alien conspiracy websites.


----------



## Verin Asper (Nov 10, 2008)

*Terrorist*
Are you sure those are just two dead cows in the road or waiting bomb traps.


----------



## Ð˜Ð²Ð°Ð½ (Nov 10, 2008)

*Canada
*You have two cows, eh?

*AzurePhoenix*
If you chew slowly and thoughtfully enough, you almost can taste the two cows' souls.

*Bill O'Reilly*
Shut up! Shut up! SHUT UP! Okay, cut that cow's mic!

*Encylcopedia Dramatica
*You have two cows. One posted a butthurt livejournal entry about the other. Lulz ensued.

*Jerry Falwell*
If your two cows are allowed to get married, it'll be 9/11 all over again.


----------



## ArielMT (Nov 10, 2008)

Easog said:


> *Bill O'Reilly*
> Shut up! Shut up! SHUT UP! Okay, cut that cow's mic!



*Bill O'Reilly*
What does that mean, "You have two cows"?  I can't read it!  There's no words on it!  &%#$ing thing SUCKS!


----------



## Azure (Nov 11, 2008)

Starcraft

You've not enough minerals for two cows.  Also good with pylons, vespene gas, and overlords.  Fuck you Aldaris, I'll put my pylon up your alien ass.  SHOW ME THE MONEY, OPERATION CWAL, POWER OVERWHELMING!  Fuck Starcraft.


----------



## AlexInsane (Nov 11, 2008)

*The French*

After being challenged by the English, mutter 'feche le vache' and then catapult the poor things over the wall of your castle onto the unknowing English below.


----------



## Tycho (Nov 11, 2008)

*Bill Clinton*

I did not have sex with those two cows.


----------



## Azure (Nov 11, 2008)

AlexInsane said:


> *The French*
> 
> After being challenged by the English, mutter 'feche le vache' and then catapult the poor things over the wall of your castle onto the unknowing English below.


----------



## Lister22 (Nov 11, 2008)

Digitalpotato said:


> *Gmod*
> You have two cows. You make them smile and then light them on fire.
> 
> *Barack Obama*
> ...



the irate gamer one was so funny i crapped my pants


----------



## AlexInsane (Nov 11, 2008)

Kingdom Hearts

You have two cows which are really two heartless which are really two cows without hearts which is a physical impossibility not to mention incredibly sappy sounding and anyway why the hell am I playing this stupid piece of shit.

Potter Puppet Pals

Your mother is a *censored* *censored*tragulaf *censored censored censored*with a bucket of*censored* soup *censored* *censored censored* cows.

BLEACH

One of the cows plots to overthrow a regimented version of heaven while the other one is inexplicably orange and goes around killing ghosts and things.

Youtube Poop

"Great! I'll get YOUR FACE!"
"There is no time! Your TWO COWS is enough."
COMExinfinity


----------



## Rilvor (Nov 11, 2008)

You have two cows. Furries raped them to death.


----------



## AlexInsane (Nov 11, 2008)

Rilvor said:


> You have two cows. Furries raped them to death.



*Cows*

You have two Rilvors. 

OH SHI


----------



## Kajet (Nov 11, 2008)

*The US south*
You have two cows that you have screwed more than your sister.

*Iowa/Nebraska*
You have two cows... that's about all that's interesting in either state.

*Religion*
You have two cows, both gave birth to each other in some kind of infinite loop... you're going to hell anyway.


----------



## Rilvor (Nov 11, 2008)

Metal Gear Awesome:
You have two cows. Both of them died of a heart attack that looks more like a bullet wound to-


----------



## Tycho (Nov 11, 2008)

*Online PvP MMORPGs:*

You have two cows.  Even though they're exactly the same people keep whining that Cow 1 is OP'ed and needs a nerf and Cow 2 is gimped and needs a buff in the next patch.


----------



## Enigmaticat (Nov 11, 2008)

Rilvor said:


> Metal Gear Awesome:
> You have two cows. Both of them died of a heart attack that looks more like a bullet wound to-


Sweet. XD

.Hack:
Two cows, comatose.


----------



## Lister22 (Nov 11, 2008)

star wars
two cows, you have

old videogames
all your 2 cows are belong to us

xbox live
you have two cows and they're both noobs

fairytale
once apon a time you had two cows, and they lived happily ever after

xbox 360 console
you had one cow for less then a year it got the red rings of death
you go and buy another cow to replace it now you have 2 cows one that works and one that doesnt
your newer cow gets the red rings of death
now you have two broken cows

nintendo wii
you have two wiicows but no good games for them... so you just surf the internet on your cows instead


----------



## Enigmaticat (Nov 11, 2008)

Shakespeare:
Two cows, or not two cows.


----------



## Rilvor (Nov 11, 2008)

Metal Gear Awesome 2:

You have two cows. OH GEEZE A TANK COMES OUT OF NOWHERE AND OWNS THEM BOTH.


----------



## Enigmaticat (Nov 11, 2008)

Rilvor said:


> Metal Gear Awesome 2:
> 
> You have two cows. OH GEEZE A TANK COMES OUT OF NOWHERE AND OWNS THEM BOTH.


XD

Awesome Gaiden:
Two cows. COWS CANT SAVE YOU NOW!


----------



## Kangamutt (Nov 11, 2008)

India:
You have two cows. Worship them.


----------



## Kajet (Nov 11, 2008)

Awesome Dug:
You have two cows that make music whenever they walk.


----------



## Enigmaticat (Nov 11, 2008)

Awesome Racer:
Two cows, can I have some of your milk cows?


----------



## Rilvor (Nov 11, 2008)

Goth:

You have two cows but neither one knows what goth truly is and are posers.


----------



## Azure (Nov 11, 2008)

*Black People*

You have 2 cows, and you make fried chicken with them.


----------



## Kajet (Nov 11, 2008)

Youtube Poop:
Two cowstwo cowstwo cowstwo cowstwo cowstwo cowstwo cowstwo cowstwo cowstwo cows Mama Luigi.


----------



## Lister22 (Nov 11, 2008)

metal gear solid:
*your two cows get shot*
otagon: "cows come in... cows?.... cooowws?... cooooooooooows!
GAME OVER  continue?   yes no


----------



## Enigmaticat (Nov 11, 2008)

LemurBoi said:


> *Black People*
> 
> You have 2 cows, and you make fried chicken with them.


Wow...thats just wrong... o_o"

Trigun: 
Two cows. One's a pacifist, the other a homicidal psychopath.


----------



## Tungen (Nov 11, 2008)

*Politics*
You have two cows. They both insist that they are superior to the other cow because the other cow defecates a lot. They then both defecate a lot. If you attempt to get a goat, the two cows insult you.


----------



## Takun (Nov 11, 2008)

Kajet said:


> *Iowa/Nebraska*
> You have two cows... that's about all that's interesting in either state.


*Iowa:* You have two pet cows, they are out by your corn and you are raising them for the state fair.

;__;


----------



## Digitalpotato (Nov 11, 2008)

Kajet said:


> Youtube Poop:
> Two cowstwo cowstwo cowstwo cowstwo cowstwo cowstwo cowstwo cowstwo cowstwo cows Mama Luigi.



nonono more like this.

Youtube Poop: Two cows two cows COME two cows *TWO COWS* swoc owt MAMA LUIGI *BEEEEP* two cows COME COME COME COME!

...DICKIE mah boooooiiii.



*Zelda CD-i*
Gee, my two cows sure are boring around here.
Mah boooiii, thse two cows are what ALL True farmers strive for!
I just wonder what Ganon is up to!

*Texas*
You had two cows, now they are steaks.

*Lust*
You want two cows.

*Greed*
You have two cows but you want MROE!

*Sloth*
You have two cows but you're too lazy to take care of them.

*Envy*
You have two cows and wish you could live their simple lives.

*Gluttony*
You had two cows. *Burp!*

*Wrath*
You have two cows and are quite draconian when they aren't obedient.

*Pride*
I am so proud of my two cows, they are so much better than everybody else. 

*Encyclopedia Dramatica*
You have two cows, and you write about all the lulzy stuff they do while a bunch of porn keeps showing up on your page and there is an advertisement from some girl that conveniently lives on your state constantly popping up in the corner. 

*Wikipedia*
You have two cows that love to suck each other. 
*Revert*
You have two cows.

*Transfur* (this one is for you, KitsuneKit!)
You have two cows and you want to enter your milk into the market. But unfortunately, they require that your milk has to be of a specific "Quality" before it is accepted into the market, and they happen to have very high standards for what is "Good" and single out the new cow farmers while accepting rather dull looking sketches, and the Dr. Moreau -brand of milk takes up about half the market. 

*Second Life*
You have two cows. when you try to milk them...the sim crashes.

*Xbox 360*
You have two cows but they keep dying whenever you try to milk them. That stupid Red Ring of Death virus...

*Playstation3*
You have two cows but since all the games you can get for it are on the 360 or PC you watch Blu-Ray movies on them.


----------



## Shark_the_raptor (Nov 11, 2008)

*Irony-*
You have two cows, but they are really two bulls.


----------



## ArielMT (Nov 11, 2008)

*Kingpin:*
We don't have two cows.  We have two bulls...


----------



## Nargle (Nov 11, 2008)

*Nargle:*
Has a corgi that's herding two cows.


----------



## Verin Asper (Nov 11, 2008)

Planet of the Cows
You have two Humans


----------



## Shark_the_raptor (Nov 11, 2008)

*Chik-Fil-A-*
U hav 2 chikinz.


----------



## Digitalpotato (Nov 12, 2008)

ooooh that's a good one Shark. XD


----------



## AlexInsane (Nov 12, 2008)

Burger King. 

You have two cows, which can feed one person a piece. Obesity and heart attacks ensue.

Nick at Nite.

You have two cows which are the postercows for good clean family fun and gosh-darn good Christian morals, all presented with snappy and memorable theme music.


----------



## Tycho (Nov 12, 2008)

I didn't even know what Chik-Fil-A was until I googled it a min. ago.

*Google*

You have two cows.  We have over 1000000000 search results for "two cows".


----------



## Digitalpotato (Nov 12, 2008)

*Fire Emblem: Sacred Stones*
You have one bull and one cow, and their pasture is invaded by the neighbouring bull.

*Fire Emblem*
You have two cows and you level them up using Arena Abuse. 

*Shining Force*
you have two cows. When you think you have enough experience for now, you cast Egress and then come back again, giving them more experience.


----------



## Dyluck (Nov 12, 2008)

Digitalpotato said:


> *Fire Emblem: Sacred Stones*
> You have one bull and one cow, and they defeat all of the enemies' forces by themselves.



fix'd


----------



## AlexInsane (Nov 12, 2008)

David M. Awesome.

You have two cows, but compared to David they are utterly insignificant.

GatodeCafe

You have two cows, and you penis them all the way to the store and then back again. You then drench them in dicksnot.


----------



## Dyluck (Nov 12, 2008)

AlexInsane said:


> David M. Awesome.
> 
> You have two cows, but compared to David they are utterly insignificant.



That is nice to say.


----------



## AlexInsane (Nov 12, 2008)

Wii

You have two cows, and now have to figure out how the fuck to make them run around a track with a little fucked up control stick.

College

You have two bulls, both of which are freshmen frat pricks who act like wiggers. You trick the bulls into walking into a massive meat grinder and everyone rejoices.


----------



## Digitalpotato (Nov 12, 2008)

David M. Awesome said:


> fix'd



ooooh very good one, but how about how I play the game? 

*Fire Emblem 6 and up*
You have two cows. You make them stand next to each other for god-kdnows-how-many rounds so they become friends.


----------



## Dyluck (Nov 12, 2008)

Digitalpotato said:


> ooooh very good one, but how about how I play the game?
> 
> *Fire Emblem 6 and up*
> You have two cows. You make them stand next to each other for god-kdnows-how-many rounds so they become friends.



But then you cry when some of them end up falling in love.


----------



## Emil (Nov 12, 2008)

Dont know how many of these have been said, but...

Rome
You have two cows. They argue with each other where to graze. One kills the other and founds the pasture.

The Matrix
There are no cows

Monty Python
You have two shots

Drawing
You have two cows. They can be broken down into many circles, squares, and triangles.

Prop 8
You have two cows. They cant get married. 

England
You have two mad cows

Internet
2 cows 1 cup


----------



## AlexInsane (Nov 12, 2008)

FA

You have two cows that just can't stop fucking each other in numerous graphic and nasty ways.


----------



## Digitalpotato (Nov 12, 2008)

David M. Awesome said:


> But then you cry when some of them end up falling in love.



And can't help but laugh when one cow faints because the other forgot to eat breakfast or freaked because she saw a naked shoulder.


----------



## AlexInsane (Nov 12, 2008)

Cows

The two cows have more cows. Cows are pimps.


----------



## Nargle (Nov 12, 2008)

*Nargle:*
Nargle nargle two cows nargle nargle nargle.

Because that's now Nargle speaks.


----------



## Dyluck (Nov 12, 2008)

Nargle said:


> *Nargle:*
> Nargle nargle two cows nargle nargle nargle.
> 
> Because that's now Nargle speaks.



Is Nargle a pokemon

Or maybe just fucking adorable


----------



## Nargle (Nov 12, 2008)

David M. Awesome said:


> Is Nargle a pokemon
> 
> Or maybe just fucking adorable



Nargle naaaarrrgle. =3


----------



## Dyluck (Nov 12, 2008)

I am going to cuddle the shit out of you


----------



## Nargle (Nov 12, 2008)

o.o! Oh my nargle!


----------



## AlexInsane (Nov 12, 2008)

Nargle as a pokemon?

GOTTA STUFF HER IN MAH POKEBALLS.


----------



## Verin Asper (Nov 12, 2008)

GDI
you have orbital Cannons that Fire Cows


----------



## Enigmaticat (Nov 12, 2008)

*NOD:*
We serve for cows! Cows Live!


----------



## Verin Asper (Nov 12, 2008)

C&C Generals
you got Cows with Better Tech, we got Cows that Swarm, then we got those sneaky cows that tip over the other cows


----------



## Digitalpotato (Nov 12, 2008)

*Digitalpotato*
You have two cows but are made so cynical after having to raise the damned things and clean up after them.


----------



## Tycho (Nov 12, 2008)

*CyberFox*

You have two cows.  They've been brainwashed by the liberals and they're going to destroy the country! CONSPIRACY!! SAVE ME JOHN MCCAIN!! *incoherent reactionary rhetoric-babble*

*Shadow-Nazi*

You have two cows.  You use your alchemical powarz and create a massive Nazi golem with big titties by destroying the two cows in a mad experiment in your German castle.  You then watch more FMA with your new Nazi golem friend.  Sieg heil!


----------



## LoinRockerForever (Nov 12, 2008)

Digitalpotato said:


> *World of Warcraft*
> You have two cows, but the last patch nerfed them so badly you use a goat.



Correction, use a llama.


----------



## mrredfox (Nov 12, 2008)

Running out of ideas:
You have


----------



## Kajet (Nov 12, 2008)

News Media
"And in other news there are two cows that are assumed to be terrorists."

Vidya games
You have two cows, go collect more.


----------



## Verin Asper (Nov 12, 2008)

FPS games
You hide behind two cows for they dont get killed from gunshots


----------



## Kukilunestar (Nov 12, 2008)

Tycho The Itinerant said:


> *CyberFox*
> 
> You have two cows.  They've been brainwashed by the liberals and they're going to destroy the country! CONSPIRACY!! SAVE ME JOHN MCCAIN!! *incoherent reactionary rhetoric-babble*



You forgot the requesting art part.


----------



## Digitalpotato (Nov 12, 2008)

Deviantart

: icontwocowsplz :


----------



## Verin Asper (Nov 12, 2008)

Apocalypse 
The 4 Cows of the Apocalypse appear


----------



## Silverstreak (Nov 12, 2008)

*Macroville*

I come along and eat both of the cows.


----------



## Digitalpotato (Nov 14, 2008)

Resident Evil
You have two flesh-eating zombie-cows.

Silent Hill
you have two big-uddered nurse-zombie cows.


----------

