# Furry Jokes



## gunnerboy (May 14, 2008)

i want to see how many of you out there know a good furry joke.
ill start.
What do you call a vixen with a runny nose?
Full.


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## ExTo (May 14, 2008)

XD


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## CheezWizTimeLord (May 14, 2008)

NERD TIME

We are Vixens of Borg. Resistance is futile, but we like it when you struggle!


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## Dyluck (May 14, 2008)

Furries _are_ a joke.


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## LizardKing (May 14, 2008)

Why did the furry cross the road?


FUCK YOU I'M A CHICKEN


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## Ne0nie (May 14, 2008)




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## gunnerboy (May 14, 2008)

Ne0nie said:


>




*facepalm*


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## Slayn (May 15, 2008)

The reason why furries should only talk to furries:

6 furries walk into a bar

one walks up to a redneck and says "nice ass"! and gets his head blown off
second walks up to a jew and says "bak shalom"! and gets his head blown off
third walks up to an asian and says "so do you guys really have 4 penises because of hiroshima"!? and gets his head blown off
fourth walks up to a black guy and says "hey man I heard you were selling weed".  and gets his head blown off 
The 5th furry walks up to the 6th and says "YIFF"! and he gets yiffed 

that is why furries only talk to furries


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## Bokracroc (May 15, 2008)

FURRIES


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## themocaw (May 15, 2008)

Sibe.


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## Stryke (May 15, 2008)

A penguin was driving down the road one night, when all of the sudden he heard a "bang!" come from his car.  The car stopped and wouldn't start again, so the poor little penguin had to push it all the way to the nearest gas station.  A car maintenance crew member comes over and tells the penguin "I have to do an inspection of the car so I can tell what went wrong.  It'll take about half an hour, so come back then and I'll tell you what needs to be fixed."

So the penguin went over to a nearby shop and bought a big quadruple-scoop vanilla ice cream cone.  But as he was a penguin, the little thing with his tiny finned arms had trouble holding the ice cream cone, and he managed to get more ice cream on himself than in his mouth.  By this time, it had been half an hour and the penguin walked back to the gas station, where the attendant was waiting for him.

The maintenance guy looks at him regretfully. "Well, It looks like you blew a seal." said the attendant.

The penguin stared at the maintenance man for a second, and then smiled. "Oh, no, that's just ice cream." replied the penguin, licking his lips.



^ That's my favorite furry joke of all time XD  It took me a while to type it all out though.


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## Shark_the_raptor (May 15, 2008)

Sorry.  Don't know any.


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## Kimmerset (May 15, 2008)

I have a feeling many of these 'furry jokes' will also qualify as furry pick up lines.


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## gunnerboy (May 15, 2008)

what does a Vixen and a hardware store have in common?
there both 10 cents a screw


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## Jack (May 15, 2008)

you want vixen jokes here you go.

We are Vixens of Borg. Resistance is futile, but we like it when you struggle! 

Some vixens may be recyclable. 

A good vixen never gets all the way filled up. 

Vixens should be fresh... and served on ice. 

If their eyes get white you should quit to avoid explosion. 

Most vixens are plug-and-play compatible. 

What's the one thing in the air that can get a vixen pregnant? Her ankles. 

Why did the vixen have lipstick on her steering wheel? She was trying to blow the horn. 

What does a vixen say after sex? Thanks guys! 

Why did the vixen wear condoms on her ears? So she wouldn't get Hearing Aides. 

A vixen walks into a yiff shop, and asks the shopkeeper, "How much is everything in the shop?" The shopkeeper says, "$5,000. Do you have the money?" The vixen says, "No, but I'm willing to work off my debt."


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## Stratelier (May 15, 2008)

I know a better question.

Anybody know some furry jokes that _don't_ involve some type of yiff or sex?


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## ExTo (May 16, 2008)

Stratadrake said:


> I know a better question.
> 
> Anybody know some furry jokes that _don't_ involve some type of yiff or sex?



HAHAHAHA that's the best one yet.


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## Ember (May 16, 2008)

I came into this thread expecting rubbish jokes and fail.

waddaya know, I wasn't disappointed!


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## coffinberry (May 16, 2008)

so we're taking blond jokes and replacing 'blond' with a female animal?


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## Ne0nie (May 16, 2008)

coffinberry said:


> so we're taking blond jokes and replacing 'blond' with a female animal?



That seems to be what happend. Yes.


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## darkdoomer (May 16, 2008)

my fav. is still that CSI episode.


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## Shrap (May 16, 2008)

Favorite furry joke?

Otherkin. Most definitely otherkin.

Oh, right, before drama, I would like to state the the above was also a joke.


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## Beastcub (May 16, 2008)

when i first heard the term "yiff stick" i just about died lauging

also i found this and thought i'd share since there are so many vixen jokes


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## Arc (May 16, 2008)

Not sure if this counts:


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## ExTo (May 16, 2008)

Bwahahahaha, okay now I lauged at that one.


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## Stryke (May 18, 2008)

A duck walks into a restaurant one day, walks up to a waiter and asks, â€œDo you have any Duck food?â€ The waiter looks down at the duck and says â€œNo, we have no duck food.  You need to leave.â€ So the duck leaves.

The next day the duck comes back to the restaurant, walks up to the same waiter and asks â€œDo you have any duck food?â€ The waiter looks down at the duck and says â€œI told you yesterday we donâ€™t have any duck food.  You need to leave!â€ So the duck leaves.

The next day the duck comes back to the restaurant, walks up to the same waiter and asks â€œDo you have any duck food?â€ The waiter looks down at the duck and says â€œAre you stupid? Iâ€™ve already told you; WE DONT HAVE ANY DUCK FOOD!  You need to leave AND DONâ€™T COME BACK!â€ So the duck leaves.

The next day the duck comes back to the restaurant, walks up to the same waiter and asks â€œDo you have any duck food?â€ The waiter looks down at the duck and says â€œI canâ€™t believe you came back. WE DONT HAVE ANY GODDAMN DUCK FOOD!  DONâ€™T YOU UNDERSTAND?! Look, if you come back and ask me again Iâ€™m going to nail your beak to the floor! NOW LEAVE!!â€ So the duck leaves.

The next day the duck come back to the restaurant, walks up to the same waiter and asks â€œDo you have any nails?â€ The waiter looks down at the duck and says â€œWhat theâ€¦?   No, I donâ€™t have any damn nails! What the hell kind of question is that?â€

The duck asks â€œDo you have any duck food?â€


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## Dyluck (May 18, 2008)

Stryke said:


> A joke



I've heard that one before, except it was a kid and he was asking for poranges.


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## ExTo (May 18, 2008)

Ditto, except a hobo and toothpicks.


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## jcfynx (May 18, 2008)

So a furry walks into a bar and says "ouch!"


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## Dyluck (May 18, 2008)

Two furries walk into a bar. You'd think that one of them would have seen it or something.


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## Azure (May 18, 2008)

Two furries walk into a bar, then they Yiff each other in the butt.  I dunno where I was goin with this to begin with.


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## Ne0nie (May 18, 2008)

AzurePhoenix said:


> Two furries walk into a bar, then they Yiff each other in the butt.



If they yiffed each other in the butt at the same time, then that's quite comical


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## Dyluck (May 18, 2008)

AzurePhoenix said:


> Two furries walk into a bar, then they Yiff each other in the butt.  I dunno where I was goin with this to begin with.



A GAY BAR GAY BAR

LET'S START A _WAR_!


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## ChouKuma (May 19, 2008)

I could tell the one about the bear who wants beer from the Boulder Bear Beer Bar, but... It's explicit... *sighs* Lots of need to be censored words.


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## Beastcub (May 19, 2008)

a polar bear walks into a bar and the bartender asks "what will you have?" the bear says "i'll have........................ah just give me a beer" the bartender asks "why the huge pause?" and the bear replies "i dunno my dad had em too"


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## gunnerboy (Aug 7, 2008)

*facepalm*


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## Nalo (Aug 7, 2008)

gunnerboy said:


> *facepalm*


*facepaw*


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## makmakmob (Aug 7, 2008)

Nalo said:


> *facepaw*



*Gunshot*


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## iBurro (Aug 7, 2008)

Two furries walk into a bar. One turns to the other and says, "You didn't see it either?"

x3 Count how long it takes you to get that one.


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## gunnerboy (Aug 7, 2008)

that was sad


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## Shadee (Apr 30, 2009)

Its the second day of a big con and a furry wakes up, has a snack and goes downstairs. After 20 minutes or so of wandering aimlessly he bumps into the first other furry that hes seen and asks "Where is everyone?" and the other furry replies "Dude its 7 am, they're sleeping! why aren't you?"



Since this was going mostly nowhere, thought i'd try my paw at it... ^^


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## Beta Link (Apr 30, 2009)

So a couple of furries go out hunting one day...


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## Attaman (Apr 30, 2009)

Does that joke happen to end with the Furry apologizing to Dick Cheney after it's been shot in the face?


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## FurForCameron (Apr 30, 2009)

Attaman said:


> Does that joke happen to end with the Furry apologizing to Dick Cheney after it's been shot in the face?



LOL.


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## Shadow (Apr 30, 2009)

I'd like to say a bar joke, but they've been overused.

Ah, hell, here's a little dry humor:

A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse answers, "My wife was diagnosed with cancer."


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## Bellini Tabloid (Apr 30, 2009)

lol, necro'd thread.


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## Jashwa (May 1, 2009)

Attaman said:


> Does that joke happen to end with the Furry apologizing to Dick Cheney after it's been shot in the face?


 ^best joke of the thread.


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## Grimfang (May 1, 2009)

Yeah, this is too necroey for me to ignore.


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