# To the Bi-Furs.



## happyhapp (Jul 8, 2015)

How did you come out to your friends and family? I've been wanting to come out as Bi for awhile, but have been scared to death because I'm afraid that I'll lose some friends, I'm not as worried about my family because they aren't the type that discriminate, but I'm worried that they will think that it's just a phase. But I'm definitly worrying about friends. Anyway enough rambling, I've come to terms with my sexuality, so I know I want to do this. Any feedback would be helpful. THANK YOU!


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## RedSavage (Jul 8, 2015)

Don't come out. 
Be on your own. Supportive of yourself. Bring home boyfriend. 

/end


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## FrostHusky81 (Jul 8, 2015)

I don't believe it's even necessary to come out to anyone. Live your life the way you want to, and don't let something as minor as your sexuality hold you back. Personally I'm not too keen on coming out anyways because I know that the way I am viewed by my friends and all the people that I know, will change as soon as I tell them. I don't want to be viewed as some weirdo that's bi, I want people to know  me as they always have.


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## Kinharia (Jul 8, 2015)

Well I'm asexual but really if I like someone enough be they Male, Female or transitioned to their proper gender then I'll be with them. I always thought I was Bisexual and really my way of "coming out" is just to speak casually about having a boyfriend. Act like it's nothing big and just something common and don't force your relationship down others throats. I'd be the same with a woman as well.


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## jtrekkie (Jul 8, 2015)

Didnt. I would like to get some advice from my brother, be he has a habit of not shutting up.


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## 1000bluntz (Jul 8, 2015)

Threads like these are so cute


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## happyhapp (Jul 8, 2015)

Why?


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## Horsefur (Jul 8, 2015)

Serious answer cause the others aren't that helpful to you:

I came out to my parents with a note, I was always too scared to tell them in person so just left a note for them to read. As for worrying if they think it's a phase, well tell them how long you have known about this, if it's over a year or so then I am sure they won't think it's a phase.

As for friends, only tell the people you are really really close to first, maybe the closest friend of yours and just go from there.


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## Amiir (Jul 8, 2015)

Don't do it. Don't come out. Think about it: what would you really earn from this?


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## Sylox (Jul 8, 2015)

why would you ever?


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## happyhapp (Jul 8, 2015)

Sylox said:


> why would you ever?



What does thou mean?


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## Distorted (Jul 8, 2015)

Don't come out. Even if they say they'll love you no matter what when really they would just go hysterical and yell at you all weekend about how gross and unholy your orientation is and then selfishly shove you back into the closet and pretend you never said a thing because they can't accept the thought of having a gay.....I mean bi child in their family....

But y'know it might end differently. Maybe...


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## happyhapp (Jul 8, 2015)

Some of you are making this harder than easier.


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## happyhapp (Jul 8, 2015)

Distorted said:


> Don't come out. Even if they say they'll love you no matter what when really they would just go hysterical and yell at you all weekend about how gross and unholy your orientation is and then selfishly shove you back into the closet and pretend you never said a thing because they can't accept the thought of having a gay.....I mean bi child in their family....
> 
> But y'know it might end differently. Maybe...



My parents aren't religious and are alright with same sex marriage.


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## happyhapp (Jul 8, 2015)

I wish that there would be someone who wouldn't just say "Don't do it!".


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## Ratical (Jul 8, 2015)

happyhapp said:


> Some of you are making this harder than easier.



Sorry about all that, Happy. They're just voicing the realistic concern of how bad it can go even under good circumstances. 

The jist of the suggestions so far seem to be "wait 'til you move out". That's a thought, but what happens when the subject comes up earlier? What if you feel like your ready to take on that life now and don't want to keep it a secret?

You know your parents better than anyone. How do they react to gay topics? Are they hateful? Neutral? Supportive? Do you have any gay family members? How are they treated? You have to feel these things out first if it's something you really wanna do.


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## ShioBear (Jul 8, 2015)

its not really necessary. but if you deem in necessary. make sure they aren't christian, muslim or any type backwards thinking theologists.
to many of my friends have been completely disowned by their parents. honestly having your parents know isn't worth not having a home. but if your sure they will accept you. than its your prerogative.


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## Horsefur (Jul 8, 2015)

happyhapp said:


> I wish that there would be someone who wouldn't just say "Don't do it!".



I gave a serious answer, if you saw it


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## happyhapp (Jul 8, 2015)

Sorry, didn't mean to, I've been thinking hardly about this. And also thank you for the advise!


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## Distorted (Jul 8, 2015)

happyhapp said:


> My parents aren't religious and are alright with same sex marriage.



That's...fortunate. You'll have to forgive my post then. I haven't had the nicest time coming out. I wish I had parents like yours. If they're open minded then maybe you should. 

Most people say not to say so since it's really no need to. It's just you sharing a part of yourself with your folks. And well sometimes people aren't so understanding about certain things. But you should be fine....I think.


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## happyhapp (Jul 8, 2015)

Distorted said:


> That's...fortunate. You'll have to forgive my post then. I haven't had the nicest time coming out. I wish I had parents like yours. If they're open minded then maybe you should.
> 
> Most people say not to say so since it's really no need to. It's just you sharing a part of yourself with your folks. And well sometimes people aren't so understanding about certain things. But you should be fine....I think.



Nah, your post was fine, Sorry that your coming out didn't go so well for you. *hugs*


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## Sylox (Jul 8, 2015)

If you feel comfortable doing it, by all means do it, BUT be prepared to deal with the ramifications of your decision.


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## Astrium (Jul 8, 2015)

I came out to my mom as bi probably about a month back and things went fairly well, I think. I actually had a few reasons for doing. My main concern was that I didn't want it to be a shock to her if I come home from college or something to visit and bringing a boyfriend/husband along with me. I also figured that as the oldest child, I should set a precedent just in case one of my younger brothers comes out as gay/bi/whatever later so that they'd have a general idea of how she would take it. So to the OP, I think that if you really trust your parents not to immediately lose their shit, try just sitting them down and talking about it.


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## Amiir (Jul 9, 2015)

Astrium said:


> I also figured that as the oldest child, I should set a precedent just in case one of my younger brothers comes out as gay/bi/whatever later so that they'd have a general idea of how she would take it



You're such a good brother for having thought of that. All of the props


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## TrishaCat (Jul 9, 2015)

Well my mom has been talking with an annoying aunt who's been angry ever since the same sex marriage ruling, so I've been considering one day after her talks with the aunt to say "Oh, by the way mom. I'm bi" as I've been quite annoyed with my aunt of late. My parents really wouldn't mind. They would be a little surprised and that's it. But I haven't. I don't see a need to come out just yet. My parents are annoyed with my aunt as well, hehe.


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## happyhapp (Jul 9, 2015)

So I've decided that I'm going to come out to just my Parents, brothers and my close friend. I still don't know when I'll do it but I will, Wish me luck!


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## Astrium (Jul 9, 2015)

happyhapp said:


> So I've decided that I'm going to come out to just my Parents, brothers and my close friend. I still don't know when I'll do it but I will, Wish me luck!



Okay, but you need to do it carefully. I'd advise telling your whole family at once. Wait until everyone is in a good mood, then sit them down and simply tell them that you're bisexual. Don't get defensive, don't try to justify or make arguments, and remember that things might not go so well, so have a backup plan in mind.

As for your friend, I'd say same deal, just do it separately from telling your family.


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## happyhapp (Jul 9, 2015)

This has to be the most terrifying, or at least one of, days of my life. Every time I'm like "Gonna do it!", I end up walking downstairs and instead of calling down my family, I end up getting a glass of diet coke. I'm probably on my 100th glass of coke (Or at least I believe I'm on my 100th glass of diet coke). Either way I might end up doing it tomorrow or when my brother gets back from his trip to Israel, but then I'll have this feeling for 2 more weeks, I can't decide if I should do it Today, Tomorrow, or when my brother gets back. Anyway enough rambling, If I end up doing it You'll probably see a new thread about the outcome, once again wish me luck!


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## DevilishlyHandsome49 (Jul 9, 2015)

I haven't told anyone I'm bi except a few friends...don't really know if I need to to be honest. My family isn't homophobic, neither are the rest of my friends. I guess I just dont feel its their business. Guess they'll find out by who I spend my time with


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## happyhapp (Jul 9, 2015)

I've finaly decided that I'm not coming out today or tomorrow, but when my brother gets home.


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## Ratical (Jul 9, 2015)

I _do_ wish you luck, Happy. Maybe waiting for your bro will be good, especially if you think he'll stick up for you. 

Just remember that being bi means you have the opportunity to still go out with girls. You can always fall back on that. You're the same person everyone thought you were, but maybe you just find guys cute too. 

Whatever happens, keep us informed and we'll try and be there for you.


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## -Sliqq- (Jul 9, 2015)

If you think you've been beaten,  you are.


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## happyhapp (Jul 10, 2015)

So I've decided that I'm gonna come out to my family when my older brother gets back from Israel. I just feel like if anything goes wrong I'll have him there to stick up for me, even though my parents will probably be alright with my sexual orientation, you never know what will happen. Welp, like I said in my last post, when I come out you will see a new thread about how it went. Oh and one last thing, THANK YOU ALL!, well most of you, for all the, assistance, if you will, alot of you in this thread have definitely taken some stress away from the situation! This will be my last post in this thread. WISH ME LUCK! !


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## dischimera (Jul 10, 2015)

Some people don't believe "bi" exists. My parents for example.
Can't blame them since so many people only pretend (or are unsure and think) they're bi before they either admit being outright homossexual or hetero. I used to think I was bi, before I found out how uncomfortable I was with other guys and penises.
I do believe in bissexuality though.


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## DevilishlyHandsome49 (Jul 10, 2015)

dischimera said:


> Some people don't believe "bi" exists. My parents for example.
> Can't blame them since so many people only pretend (or are unsure and think) they're bi before they either admit being outright homossexual or hetero. I used to think I was bi, before I found out how uncomfortable I was with other guys and penises.
> I do believe in bissexuality though.



Sometimes you can bi, but still lean to one gender over another or you could have an equal liking to both genders


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## happyhapp (Jul 10, 2015)

DevilishlyHandsome49 said:


> Sometimes you can bi, but still lean to one gender over another or you could have an equal liking to both genders


Exactly.


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## happyhapp (Jul 10, 2015)

Ya know how I said that I'm done posting here, I was wrong. Tomorrow my friend is coming over and I was thinking if I should tell him that I'm bi before I tell my family because if anything goes wrong, he could possibly back me up. Maybe I should probably tell him because Sunday I'll be leaving for a cruise and the week I'll be gone is when he goes to Maine for the rest of the summer, so I can't bring it up til he's back. What should I do, tell him tomorrow or wait til he's back and I've already told my family. Once again THANK YOU ALL! For the help I've been getting!:grin:!!!!!


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## Astrium (Jul 10, 2015)

happyhapp said:


> Ya know how I said that I'm done posting here, I was wrong. Tomorrow my friend is coming over and I was thinking if I should tell him that I'm bi before I tell my family because if anything goes wrong, he could possibly back me up. Maybe I should probably tell him because Sunday I'll be leaving for a cruise and the week I'll be gone is when he goes to Maine for the rest of the summer, so I can't bring it up til he's back. What should I do, tell him tomorrow or wait til he's back and I've already told my family. Once again THANK YOU ALL! For the help I've been getting!:grin:!!!!!



I would say you should tell him first. Just pull him aside and kinda casually mention it. And be careful not to make it sound like it's about to go into the "...and I'm telling you all this because I love you," speech.


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## happyhapp (Jul 11, 2015)

So I have decided that I'll tell my friend tomorrow. Now for this I'm not gonna make a new thread for, I'm gonna post what happened here, so if there is anyone cares to know what happened, check here. When I don't know?  Which is kind of the problem, I don't know how or when to tell him, should I tell him before he leaves or when he gets here. Anyone have any suggestions? Anyway your probably annoyed by me saying this but, WISH ME LUCK!!!!!


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## Amiir (Jul 11, 2015)

You're making a terrible mistake


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## JavaLeen (Jul 11, 2015)

I'm a panromantic demisexual myself. I was only raised by my mother so i would just have one person to focus on on coming out... I started by talking to her about homosexuals in general and getting her used to the subject itself. You'd be surprised but most people don't think of sexual orientations unless running into the subject...

That given, she took it relativelly well, telling me that whomever I choose as mate, i should keep the pdas to none cuz she personally still finds it disgusting. Can't say that was a nice thing to say but she kept to our honesty truce so I wouldn't hold it against her. Then she reverted to the idea that it was a phase, even with the reminder of that one time in my early teens i kissed a gal on my own suggestion and will (I'm sorta female )) and  her idea gained roots when i ended up falling inlove with a male with whom I am still happily mated with. 

I sometimes still pester her by bringing related subjects to mind but she won't give in and i won't care much so we're peaceful on the subject.

My partner, now fiance, knows about this since the early stages of our relationship and has been more than okay with it, which is why we've stayed together this long anyway (and no, it's not because of the prospects of a threesome). I'm very lucky to have found him.

bottom line

*Better bring out the subject neutrally 1st and see where it goes in order to be better prepared fot the great coming out moment. XD Good luck!*


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## JavaLeen (Jul 11, 2015)

oh... as for friends, I did the same neutral testing 1st... 

sadly one took it okay at the moment then later in time, when she got a boyfriend, I had to go through a whole shitload of territory marking from her man because she somehow told him I'm a lesbian and sometime in the past I tried to hit on her (which I didn't) <.< even later on those two ended up as really disgusting homophobes to the point I am no longer in speaking terms with either. <.<

another one just raised her shoulders and didn't care shit, but it was expected since she was basically my main supply of gay comics/fanfics/etc )

aand the last but not least asked me if I found her attractive and when I apologized and said she looks nice but not really my type she too just shook it off and we're still great friends to this day.

so expect the unexpected )


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## Butters Shikkon (Jul 11, 2015)

Panromantic demisexual...

 Honestly.


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## JavaLeen (Jul 11, 2015)

Butters Shikkon said:


> Panromantic demisexual...
> 
> Honestly.



bisexual... 

honestly.


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## happyhapp (Jul 11, 2015)

Okay question time, So in my last post I said that I'm going to tell my best friend, but there is one problem, I really don't know what to say, how to say and when to say. Any suggestions?


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## Gator (Jul 11, 2015)

if it were me, i wouldn't bother mentioning it at all unless it was relevant.  otherwise, it's just pointlessly awkward.  not the kind of thing i'd recommend trying to force into discussion, tbh.


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## happyhapp (Jul 11, 2015)

In a sense this is a good and bad thing, my friend wasn't able to come over today, of course, the bad thing is, is that I will have the feeling of keeping a secret on my chest until my bro gets back from Israel. Oh well. This is definitely going to be the last post I make on this thread. Once again, THANK YOU ALL FOR THE HELP! When I finally come out to my family and my best friend I'll create a new thread about my experience. So if anyone cares to, in the next following weeks, you can check for a new thread! Once again, Thank you for the help! WISH ME LUCK!


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## SodaBubbles (Jul 12, 2015)

Good luck dude. 

I didn't come out to my parents, but I knew they wouldn't accept it. They've been violently (that I know of only verbally) opposed to anything not heterosexual since I was young. Frankly I'm surprised I'm as open-minded about sexuality as I am. (pansexual (though currently physically asexual for stress/anxiety reasons) and poly here).


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## Astrium (Jul 12, 2015)

SodaBubbles said:


> Good luck dude.
> 
> I didn't come out to my parents, but I knew they wouldn't accept it. They've been violently (that I know of only verbally) opposed to anything not heterosexual since I was young. Frankly I'm surprised I'm as open-minded about sexuality as I am. (pansexual (though currently physically asexual for stress/anxiety reasons) and poly here).



When you say "poly", do you mean polygamous, polyamorous, or something else I'm not familiar with?


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## happyhapp (Feb 28, 2016)

So since the forums are back up I can tell you about what has happened... I FINALLY TOLD SOMEONE!!! So I finally did it! (Sorta) the only person that knows is my best friend, so I haven't fully told everyone. But here's how it went. Some times there is those days that you want to get stuff done and over with and luckily that day (oct. 8) was the day, so all I did was send him the text "hey have I told you I'm bi?" The response I got was "you are? No you haven't" then I called him on the phone instead of texting him back and to make a long story short, he was ok that I was bi! I kinda knew he would be alright that I was bi, but I explained myself and said that I was the same person but now you know I am bi, he responded with " I don't care what you are we're best friends and always will be". Then for the rest of the day we just texted each other about my sexuality, and at the end of the day I thanked him for being a good friend and this is what he texted me "I am your best friend, I don't care if you are straight, bi, gay, super gay or whatever other sexuality there is out there because I will help and support you because that's what friends do." And that's pretty much it, until I tell some more people that's when Ill post some more, does anyone have anymore ideas on how I should come out?


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## ParamountYak (Feb 28, 2016)

I came out awkwardly to my fiance first, mostly because her opinion was the only one that actually mattered to me. In a committed relationship for years, never had any same sex partners. I didn't want to feel like I wanted to make a change in my life, only that I wanted to just be honest regarding my orientation.

Then I just stopped hiding it. Never really came out to my family. I don't like the idea of coming out, like it's some sort of LGBT ritual. Too much of an emphasis on it as like a coming of age ritual. Instead I rather just be a bisexual man. My family knows, I've commented on it, but no more.


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## Strangeguy32000 (Mar 2, 2016)

I haven't and won't
It's my business and mine alone

To be honest, though, I was completely unaware of my being a bisexual until recently


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## malibu (Mar 2, 2016)

I never formally came out, but my mom kind of figured it out on her own by how close I was getting to a male friend.


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## Wakor (Mar 4, 2016)

While I was technically supported when I came out to my parents, they just kinda swept it under the rug and ignored it like it would disappear if they pretended it didn't exist. So, be prepared to have to come out 2, 3, 10 times. 

But like others have said before me,  you do _not have to come out_. You have no obligation to tell the people around you. Your safety is your #1 priority, okay?


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## Strangeguy32000 (Mar 4, 2016)

So earlier, my mom was reading out loud some Facebook post about giving the ex of one's son (after the son cheated on said ex girlfriend) a Sephora gift card and I casually redponded
(And I'm quoting myself word-for-word here)
"In my case, that might actually be a guy. I'm bisexual, by the way"
"You are?"
"Yep"

No lie. Couldn't have come out of THAT closet any more smoothly.


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## FoxieWoxie (Mar 5, 2016)

I went to pride one year and brought back a few rainbow stickers that said "Bi" on them and put one in my room, they saw it but didn't make any mention of it. Which is good, cause it's really nbd. I think I got more reactions from my old friends from elementary school/high school, and even then it was like "Oh okay that's cool"

To be honest if they made it a huge deal and tried giving me this huge speech about acceptance and support like I've heard a lot of my gay friends get, I'd get _waaaay_ uncomfortable.


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## 8BitPandaStrike (Mar 5, 2016)

To be honest I came out only last year. I mean I had suspicions that I was bi in the past but I needed confirmation. Anyway I am guessing you are a teenager or a young adult OP so I tell you this: If and when you come out to your friends and they are repulsed by it then they are not truly are your friends. True friends accept you for you. As for family, well if they truly love you then being bi is really not an issue. Just my thoughts.


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## Zrcalo (Mar 5, 2016)

I found it harder to come out to my parents that I liked heavy metal than I did liking chicks or being trans. 
It was like.... 
hi mom, I'm gay. Not a lesbian though, because I'm not a girl.
mom: ...okay? here. have a package of chicken legs.
hi mom, I'm trans because I didnt know that existed so nix what I said previously.
mom: okay? here. have a package of chicken legs.
hi mom, I listen to slayer and system of a down.
mom *doesnt talk to me for a month and tells me to get out of her house*

SERIOUSLY?!?!?!?


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## Sforzie (Mar 6, 2016)

I suppose I'm lucky I'm just a...uh... 'homoromantic asexual'. My mother thinks I'm a lesbian, though. I never actually came out to her; she just decided one day that I was one. Like others have said, you don't *have* to tell your parents about your sexuality, but you probably will eventually if you feel a need. 
To half-quote good old Dan Savage: if you're still at home and dependent on your parents and worried they'll freak out about it and kick you out, then you're probably better off keeping your mouth shut about it until you're out of the house. Once you're out of the house, you can tell them. If they freak out--give them an ultimatum: they have a year to get over it, or you're out of their lives. Them disliking your sexuality is their problem. It shouldn't have to be yours, too.

You can also try yelling "I don't think about you two having sex why do you keep thinking about me having sex" at them, and see how that goes.


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## Forte (Mar 17, 2016)

When I came out as bi I waited until it was just me and my Mother and as calmy as I could I told her. Exactly at the the same time I hold her that I'm a furry and she looked at me, gave me the biggest hug and said that nothing will change no matter what because you'll always be my son ^_^


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## sarnarus (Mar 17, 2016)

lol its been a few years and these conversations keep coming up

"..are you still gay?"
"yeah.."
"oh okay.....Are you sure?!"


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## Moondoggy (Mar 18, 2016)

I found out about myself with Fox McCloud and mostly Garrus From Mass Effect but I've kept it hidden very well until college.

I only told my high school girlfriend because I felt like she deserved to know, she was totally fine with it and it didn't phase her. But eventually in college my group of friends were all in the car coming back from a trip and we had a major heart to heart talk. Tears and secrets galore. I told them all I'm pansexual (with sorta a preference for men? Idk what I am. I like all genders but a preference for men but overall personality is the important thing to me) anyway they were all happy that we all shared secrets and bonded. Fast forward a week later my mom came up to my school to take me to dinner and the trip/the talk on the way back came up. Being a mother, of course she wanted to know what my secret was if I was willing to tell. (She thought I robbed a bank? Playing too much Payday 2 I guess lol) I did tell her I was pansexual... Ever since then she has kind of been in denial about it. I regret telling her. But to be fair she still has kept it a secret, not sure if it's because I asked her to or that she doesn't want people to know.

Don't think this will help anyone but there you go, friends seem to understand and accept it more than family. (Even my friend who is very heterosexual and sorta a homophobe said it doesn't matter to him and we are still like brothers)


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## Somnium (Mar 18, 2016)

My parents wouldn't be happy knowing it. They said they want a manly son and sucking dicks is not very manly according to them. yea, i kinda agree..


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## Moondoggy (Mar 18, 2016)

Somnium said:


> My parents wouldn't be happy knowing it. They said they want a manly son and sucking dicks is not very manly according to them. yea, i kinda agree..


You kidding? You can be very manly and suck dick, and have sex with guys. Besides, you don't have to be the "manly" to be a man, just be you


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## Somnium (Mar 18, 2016)

Moondoggy said:


> You kidding? You can be very manly and suck dick, and have sex with guys. Besides, you don't have to be the "manly" to be a man, just be you



I didn't say I obey them. I just secretly enjoy dicks while pretending to be straight. And I don't really care about social norms, I mean I wouldn't be a furry if I did.
Btw, your avi is fabulous ^^


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## Moondoggy (Mar 19, 2016)

Somnium said:


> I didn't say I obey them. I just secretly enjoy dicks while pretending to be straight. And I don't really care about social norms, I mean I wouldn't be a furry if it did.
> Btw, your avi is fabulous ^^


Thank you! :3 I'm just saying you shouldn't have to secretly enjoy dicks or you can't be manly if you do, I consider myself manly and I enjoy dicks very much lol but I get were you come from, I've pretended to be straight my whole life. But what ever you do, as long as you are you, it's cool ^^


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## Nicky The Husky (Mar 19, 2016)

See this is a problem I am facing really harshly right now. Most of my family who I see every other day (we constantly invite eachother to come over and eat dinner) is really homophobic. I can't go a day without hearing them bash on people who are gay, bi, lesbian or whatever. It really hurts my feelings every time too because of how harsh the things they say can be. I also can't tell them how I feel because my mother is bisexual and I haven't seen her since I was a baby and they would blame her even though I don't think she has anything to do about it. This sucks ;-;


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## Moondoggy (Mar 19, 2016)

Nicky The Husky said:


> See this is a problem I am facing really harshly right now. Most of my family who I see every other day (we constantly invite eachother to come over and eat dinner) is really homophobic. I can't go a day without hearing them bash on people who are gay, bi, lesbian or whatever. It really hurts my feelings every time too because of how harsh the things they say can be. I also can't tell them how I feel because my mother is bisexual and I haven't seen her since I was a baby and they would blame her even though I don't think she has anything to do about it. This sucks ;-;


I'm sorry to hear that my friend, that's a really tough spot to be in. I'd say you don't have to tell them but you shouldn't be afraid to find someone to be with if you want. But either way, you'll always have your furry friends to cheer you up ^^


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## Nicky The Husky (Mar 19, 2016)

Moondoggy said:


> I'm sorry to hear that my friend, that's a really tough spot to be in. I'd say you don't have to tell them but you shouldn't be afraid to find someone to be with if you want. But either way, you'll always have your furry friends to cheer you up ^^


See this is why I love this place. People like you are awesome


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## Moondoggy (Mar 19, 2016)

Nicky The Husky said:


> See this is why I love this place. People like you are awesome


Aww thanks ^\\\^


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## animalseeker (Mar 20, 2016)

If people can't like you because you're bisexual or anything then the hard truth is that are they even worth your time. If they love & care about you they'll deal with it because it's who you are. They might think it's a phase but it doesn't really matter what they think. I've known I like girls since I was 6 & that I was pansexual & I told my dad & he still thinks it's a phase, I'm turning 20.
Still, come out to people you're closest to first you can also go for people who you know will be okay with it. They will support you.


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## Nicky The Husky (Mar 20, 2016)

I am my father's favorite son out of all his 10 children. I am also the oldest. If he knew how I really feel I know for a fact he would disown me or not talk to me its just the way he is. No one really knows how I really feel outside of the internet :x


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## Moondoggy (Mar 20, 2016)

animalseeker said:


> If people can't like you because you're bisexual or anything then the hard truth is that are they even worth your time. If they love & care about you they'll deal with it because it's who you are. They might think it's a phase but it doesn't really matter what they think. I've known I like girls since I was 6 & that I was pansexual & I told my dad & he still thinks it's a phase, I'm turning 20.
> Still, come out to people you're closest to first you can also go for people who you know will be okay with it. They will support you.


Preach my friend



Nicky The Husky said:


> I am my father's favorite son out of all his 10 children. I am also the oldest. If he knew how I really feel I know for a fact he would disown me or not talk to me its just the way he is. No one really knows how I really feel outside of the internet :x


Don't get hung up on negatives like that, you have to be you or else you won't be happy. If it comes to it, family doesn't have to mean blood, family are those you bond with on the highest levels with in my opinion. Just be you and do not be afraid to be who you are (Mufasa's advice yo). 

Besides, anyone going through stuff like this will always have your fellow furs to rely on ;3


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## Nicky The Husky (Mar 20, 2016)

Moondoggy said:


> Preach my friend
> 
> 
> Don't get hung up on negatives like that, you have to be you or else you won't be happy. If it comes to it, family doesn't have to mean blood, family are those you bond with on the highest levels with in my opinion. Just be you and do not be afraid to be who you are (Mufasa's advice yo).
> ...


Just reading this made me feel so much better about everything. Thank you for all the things you have said about this subject. You have become my favorite person here so far lol


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## Moondoggy (Mar 20, 2016)

Nicky The Husky said:


> Just reading this made me feel so much better about everything. Thank you for all the things you have said about this subject. You have become my favorite person here so far lol


Aww thank you so much ^\\\^ you are awesome! I'm glad you feel better!


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## MAGIKzMushroom (Mar 22, 2016)

Well I just "come out" to my dad by kinda randomly mentioning "oh I think I'm gay" to be honest, it went pretty smoothly, I knew my dad supported homosexuality. I did cry, but it was all fine. He seemed to think it was a phase but a year later and I think I'm bisexual, I always had attraction to girls but only recently did my interest in men come back (I experimented a lot when I was younger). He knows I'm questioning at the moment and he's fine with it!


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## Somnium (Mar 22, 2016)

i don't think it's necessary for bi people to come out. it's not like something is gonna change after they know, you still like what normal people do, except a few, or many, depends where you live, will be grossed out by your other side.


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## Z-Mizz (Apr 5, 2016)

[Insert your god, or lack there of, here] knows what happened to the OP of this thread, but hopefully everything works out for them. It seems now that this thread has become a nice place for any Bi fur to seek some type of assistance in coming out or just to see that they're not alone <3

Coming out to your loved ones isn't something anyone should feel compelled to do because you think you have to. But if it's something that weighs on your heart and mind I advise doing it: For you! You can be a lot happier when you're not worried about what your family or friends think of what you like doing in the dark. Once you get it off your chest you can move on to finding people who will accept you for you regardless of who you do. I told my family and friends about me being bi forever ago, but reading through this thread makes me want to revisit the topic. At the time I came out there were a lot of... dangerous or nonchalant reactions to my revelation, and then it was never talked about again. I need to make sure it didn't just get swept under the rug  I don't want to show up at home with a boyfriend and have to have the conversation then XD


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## ZacAttackk (Apr 5, 2016)

I still haven't come out yet, but I sure don't have it as hard as everyone else (however coming out is very hard for 99% of people), and I so long to be in a relationship. I know of absolutely nobody in real life nearby who is gay and/or a furry. Just take me to California already xC!


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## Ricky (Apr 5, 2016)

ZacAttackk said:


> I still haven't come out yet, but I sure don't have it as hard as everyone else (however coming out is very hard for 99% of people), and I so long to be in a relationship. I know of absolutely nobody in real life nearby who is gay and/or a furry. Just take me to California already xC!



Ugh... I lived in the Castro, the gay part in San Francisco, for 6 years. I could not relate to anyone there, and witnessed first-hand the "LGBT community" during that time, in various street parties including Pride, the Folsom Street Fair, the Castro Street Fair and Halloween, which got shut down once it got too rowdy. This caused me to have a rather bitter and jaded reaction to that "subculture" or "support group", the later of which describes it better.

I guess a sexual preference necessitates a frickin' subculture, where the guys start speaking like a southern black woman and prance instead of walk, acting in the most flamboyant and theatrical way possible, probably to act like an idiot, which is a common trait of many subcultures. Since nobody in their right mind would choose this rather dystonic identity, it was probably forced identity assumption from outside pressure that led to it and not choice.

I just don't get it... Well, that's not true, _*I do get it*_ and that's what annoys me the most. Like most subcultures it spawned as a result of persecution and oppression, which I guess would kinda make sense, if it were still the 1980's for example. There isn't any persecution -or- oppression anymore in a city like San Francisco. Nobody cares anymore, and the few that do are probably latent homosexuals, themselves. The same is not true for backwater towns i.e. in the South, and in extreme religious groups. There is still homophobia in these populations since they aren't around such people and IME it seems like people from these areas are more apt to adopt the flamboyant idiocy associated with the sexuality subculture.

That's one of the things I like about this scene, as most people don't seem to care about their preference enough to turn it into an entire identity and let it completely absorb their existence.

To add to this, I also don't buy into the idea that most people, or even a significant amount, are completely gay or straight. Unless someone is attracted to the actual sex organ itself, which would be considered a fetish rather than sexual preference, that person is attracted to things like behaviors, looks and personality and given the number of effeminate males in the younger generation from the Justin Beiber _et al._ fallout, I have a hard time believing more and more people won't be open to the idea. After all, most of our preferences come from things like media portrayal of societal ideals or in this case, shitty music. Other societies for example, many of which find a larger body type more aesthetically pleasing, reflect the impact of society on these preferences, always seeing the thin, athletic body type idealized by the media.

TL;DR: Everyone is bi so you don't need to come out

Once everyone starts sleeping with everyone, give an "I told you so" to anyone who found out anyway.


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## Z-Mizz (Apr 5, 2016)

ZacAttackk said:


> I still haven't come out yet, but I sure don't have it as hard as everyone else (however coming out is very hard for 99% of people), and I so long to be in a relationship. I know of absolutely nobody in real life nearby who is gay and/or a furry. Just take me to California already xC!



You'd be surprised. I didn't know, until a week ago, that the state of Alabama has furry conventions (@_@)

If you keep looking I'm sure you'll find a cool personnear you to start getting close with <3


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## Ricky (Apr 5, 2016)

I know several furs from Alabama, including some from "way back in the day." The first boy I was with was also from Taccoa, GA too where latent homosexuality also runs wild. We met at FWA in Atlanta, which is not too far off, when he was 16 and I was 24, I think. (This actually turned out to be legal, which surprised me, as the age of consent there was 16).

Unrelated, this whole relationship was rather amusing given the number of guns his parents had, the idle threats his brother made to me that I didn't care about, his other younger brother I kept giving weed to and the fact that his mother walked in on us in nothing but boxers. His parents were both in complete denial; we were sleeping in a locked room with one bed and no sleeping bag FFS :/

I didn't know there is a con in AL, or else I forgot it.


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## Z-Mizz (Apr 5, 2016)

Ricky said:


> I know several furs from Alabama, including some from "way back in the day." The first boy I was with was also from Taccoa, GA too where latent homosexuality also runs wild. We met at FWA in Atlanta, which is not too far off, when he was 16 and I was 24, I think. (This actually turned out to be legal, which surprised me, as the age of consent there was 16).



Welcome to the South :B Where we like em young and closeted! The Southern states are really bad about openly accepting homosexuals, which leads to a lot of confused and repressed youngsters (myself included). Couple that with the fact that the majority of these states are highly religious (I'll refrain from using the word "fanatics"), makes it even harder for a person to come to terms with themselves, let alone come out to others.

I researched that con and it was pretty small so maybe it's not an actual con. I think Fur-Meet is the correct name for it.


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## marisgard (Apr 6, 2016)

I haven't come out yet, and I don't see a need to do so, until I get a couple of course, then if I want to make it official I'd obviously tell my friends first, see their reactions... Then move onto my parents, and drop the bomb... But I doubt it'll ever happen so I'm happy living a wild internet life, which has been sufficing me for a whiiile. (I think they have some suspicions about my sexual orientation but they have never bothered to talk about it, even when they saw my whole nsfw folder with some fur stuff on my computer)


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