# Does this sound like a good story?



## Nekokami (Jun 19, 2014)

So, I've been thinking of writing a series of stories about robots in space. 
There are three main characters: Jet, the eldest, had his memory deleted. When wandering an abandoned planet, he built himself a 'daughter'. He is a grey humanoid with a blue lightning bolt on his head and a blue power core which he can fire beams from.
Alpha, Jet's 'daughter', was built to look slightly feminine. She helped Jet create a spacecraft to visit other planets. She is a pink humanoid with some black sections and a pink lightning bolt on her head. Her power core is also pink. Alpha's only ability is pretending to be cute so she can fool other robots.
Ram, the smartest, is as old as Alpha and lived on the planet Vulcanus until he joined the others. He is yellow, with a red belt wrapped around his head. He has a square-root symbol instead of eyes. Ram's intelligent isn't all he has: He is also very physical in combat.

The trio travel to different planets in search of a destructive robot named Pyro, who turns robots evil, so they can destroy him. The planets they visit are in a solar system inhabited by anthropomorphic animals (I couldn't resist including them) and robots that an ancient race left behind.
I'm planning on having maybe five or six stories in this series. Its genre is going to be adventure and humour, and there are a few darker parts in it as well.

So, what do you guys think of this concept? Is it good, or is it awful? Should I change some elements to make it better or scrap it completely? Let me know!


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## VintageLynx (Jun 19, 2014)

Sounds like a good concept. Just some ideas, it may be interesting to have Jet's memory being salvaged or restored as a running theme. Maybe some sort of half memories that helps with the trail. Maybe have his and Pyro's lives linked in some way - but not in an obvious way.  As to the anthropomorphic animals, they can work to Jets advantage - maybe one or two can tag along for some of the adventures? Don't make them too yiffy though!


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## Nekokami (Jun 19, 2014)

VintageLynx said:


> Sounds like a good concept. Just some ideas, it may be interesting to have Jet's memory being salvaged or restored as a running theme. Maybe some sort of half memories that helps with the trail. Maybe have his and Pyro's lives linked in some way - but not in an obvious way.  As to the anthropomorphic animals, they can work to Jets advantage - maybe one or two can tag along for some of the adventures? Don't make them too yiffy though!


You just gave me some pretty good ideas! Thanks!
And theres no need to worry, I don't think I'll make the anthros even a bit yiffy, because I wanna be family-friendly.


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## Conker (Jun 19, 2014)

I feel like you've given your female lead the shaft in terms of power/use. 

SHE CAN TRICK PEOPLE BY BEING SUPER CUTE

Really? That's just...ugh


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## Nekokami (Jun 19, 2014)

Conker said:


> I feel like you've given your female lead the shaft in terms of power/use.
> 
> SHE CAN TRICK PEOPLE BY BEING SUPER CUTE
> 
> Really? That's just...ugh


Don't fret, she can hit hard when she's fighting! The cuteness thing is more for bargaining.
Besides, other books/shows have done similar things; sometimes much worse.


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## Nekokami (Jun 29, 2014)

http://ninten199x.deviantart.com/art/ROBOTS-464309775
^ This is what I've made the robots look like.


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## GarthTheWereWolf (Jun 29, 2014)

It kind of sounds like an 80's saturday morning cartoon special.


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## Nekokami (Jun 29, 2014)

GarthTheWereWolf said:


> It kind of sounds like an 80's saturday morning cartoon special.


I wasn't around in the 80's, so I wouldn't know.


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## tiggu (Jun 29, 2014)

Somehow it reminds me of Sonic the Hedgehog! only with robot heroes replacing Sonic team.
Lol. Just saying. But it sounds like it could be fun for kids ^ ^


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## Nekokami (Jun 29, 2014)

tiggu said:


> Somehow it reminds me of Sonic the Hedgehog! only with robot heroes replacing Sonic team.
> Lol. Just saying. But it sounds like it could be fun for kids ^ ^


I'm planning on making it for kids aged 12 and over, because there's some bits little kids may be scared of.


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## tiggu (Jun 29, 2014)

Yes I understand, I still think it would be fine for that age range.


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## Nekokami (Jul 9, 2014)

I've started writing the story, so wish me luck.
I'm only 14.


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## Hikaru Okami (Jul 9, 2014)

Whenever I see robots I instantly think power rangers. Also I thought of megaman when you mentioned pyro turning robots evil.

I don't read much on robot stuff, but this seems pretty interesting. I would love to see more from alpha than just cuteness. Maybe give her an awesome ability that no one else can do. I'm not sure what ability I would suggest I don't want to steal other ideas. I was thinking she can "purify" evil robots, but that's taking away from megaman directly.


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## Nekokami (Jul 10, 2014)

Hikaru Okami said:


> Whenever I see robots I instantly think power rangers. Also I thought of megaman when you mentioned pyro turning robots evil.
> 
> I don't read much on robot stuff, but this seems pretty interesting. I would love to see more from alpha than just cuteness. Maybe give her an awesome ability that no one else can do. I'm not sure what ability I would suggest I don't want to steal other ideas. I was thinking she can "purify" evil robots, but that's taking away from megaman directly.


I have drawn inspiration from Mega Man (robots becoming evil) and Zelda (Ancient robots).
I do think I'll give Alpha a special ability exclusive to her. Not sure what it'll be, but I'm making her the spaceship pilot to give her some more skills.


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