# You guys feel like stopping Uwe Boll?



## kitetsu (Apr 9, 2008)

Here's your chance!

Over 100,000 strong.


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## Tycho (Apr 9, 2008)

Signed.

If we reach 250,000 do we go into a Bonus Round where we beat the shit out of Boll in a boxing ring?


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## Esplender (Apr 9, 2008)

He's one of the greatest trolls I've ever seen, besides from Dick Masterson.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T0xoKiH8JJM[/youtube]


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## Ty Vulpine (Apr 9, 2008)

Internet petitiions are about as valid as an unsigned check.


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## Tycho (Apr 10, 2008)

TyVulpine said:
			
		

> Internet petitiions are about as valid as an unsigned check.



DON'T KILL OUR DREAM, DAMN YOU!!! :cry:


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## kitetsu (Apr 10, 2008)

http://www.1up.com/do/newsStory?cId=3167315



> "Hi, here's Uwe Boll, and I have a statement to make about that internet petition. There's a petition out, 'Stop Uwe Boll,' and I said like 1 million people on the petition, I stop actually making movies. I want that there's a petition out there, like a pro-Boll petition, and I expect a million votes pro-Boll. I hope somebody would set it up and you all start signing it, because look: I'm not a fucking retard like Michael Bay or other people running around in the business, or Eli Roth making the same shitty movies over and over again. If you really look at my movies, you will see my real genius, you know? And if you go on May 23 and Postal, you will see that I deliver a movie what nobody else delivered in the last 10 years -- what is way better as all that social critic George Clooney bullshit what you get every fucking weekend. So you have to really wake up and you have to see me what I am. I'm the only genius in the whole fucking business. Goodbye."



Boll can't help acting like a blazing Snapesnogger in response to the petition.

btw, the pro-Boll petition stands at 14 signatures as of 2 days ago.


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## Tycho (Apr 10, 2008)

kitetsu said:
			
		

> btw, the pro-Boll petition stands at 14 signatures as of 2 days ago.



probably trolls and Boll himself contributing to that staggering total.

I just know someone's gonna make an "OVER 9000!!!" joke if and when the pro-Boll votes get that high (lolyarite)


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## Meliz (Apr 10, 2008)

hey, dudes.


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## Tycho (Apr 10, 2008)

Meliz said:
			
		

> hey, dudes.



lol.  O hai Boll-troll.

Funny.  Kinda nice work on that banner too.


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## Meliz (Apr 10, 2008)

thanks. 

but i'm not here to troll, just wanted to let you guys know that there's people rooting for Boll, too. even on FA forums.

I loved Alone in the Dark and i hope from the bottom of my heart that he gets to do a Halo Trilogy and a ****load of Splinter Cell movies.

oh and for the record, Boll is a tosser but i think his movies are teh shit (in the positive way, not in the brown aromatic sense).


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## Tycho (Apr 10, 2008)

Meliz said:
			
		

> oh and for the record, Boll is a tosser but i think his movies are teh shit (in the positive way, not in the brown aromatic sense).



To each their own.  If he somehow gets the nod for a Halo movie (watch Pinkuh go critical mass if that happens :neutral: ) he has an opportunity to vindicate himself by turning out a watchable film.  His track record in most of the world's eyes is pretty piss poor so far though.  House of the Dead, Alone in the Dark, BloodRayne... considered to be crap by most.


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## Meliz (Apr 10, 2008)

Alone in the Dark is awesome. period. You can't discuss it with me, i'm totally biased because it has Christian Slater in it. And he has a gun.

Alone in the Dark, hot mutherfocking damn. Uwe Boll AND Christian Slater AND Tara Reid AND fuckin' that vampire dude from blade whatever his name was 

freakin' awesome. first time i saw it (on dvd, random buy) i just watched it again. and again after that.

i watched Alone in the Dark 5 times the first day i saw it. i liked it THAT much.


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## Fou-lu (Apr 10, 2008)

I like Uwe Boll. He's got guts for appearing at PAX and the whole boxing challenge thing was fun 

But his movies are just awful.


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## Madness (Apr 10, 2008)

I think i remember reading somewhere once that Uwe Boll said that the only reason his movies are bad is because he has to make do with the material he has got. Which really confuses me because if thats the case why doesent he stop making awful Computer Game movies and try his hand at something different?


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## Meliz (Apr 11, 2008)

I think about it this way.

I like his movies. But the general public doesn't.

I like Furdom. Does the general public?

Do furries have more right to be than a Boll movie? There's a public for both.

Just, let me enjoy the Boll movies and if you don't like them, ignore them. Don't watch them. I just want to sit back, slip in a DVD and watch Uwe Boll's Halo Trilogy Special Autographed Director's Edition in a non stop movie marathon and enjoy myself to death with it.

Would you grant me that? Or would you rather rip that joy from my heart?


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## kitetsu (Apr 11, 2008)

You know, if i knew somebody who claims to be "the only fucking genius" in the movie industry, and throw childish bitchfits because the writers he hired (and fired in record times) wrote a script that isn't to his liking, then i'll see to it that i wouldn't so much as even breathe his oxygen when my shoulder kisses his. Boll's movies may be shit, but it's his mental flaws that gave me more reason why i signed the petition. He's wasting valuable monetary resources that could've been used to further multiply box office numbers and hopefully earn more positive reception from viewers.

Until he learns to be more mature and professional in his line of work, he'll never get his detractors to up the fuck shut permanently. He'll just end up as the #1 Snapesnogger of filmmaking until the day he dies.


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## Arbiter (Apr 11, 2008)

Tycho The Itinerant said:
			
		

> Signed.
> 
> If we reach 250,000 do we go into a Bonus Round where we beat the shit out of Boll in a boxing ring?



i call first dibs


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## Tycho (Apr 11, 2008)

Meliz said:
			
		

> Would you grant me that? Or would you rather rip that joy from my heart?



There has got to be someone else who will do what he does, better, and without Boll's "issues".

To each their own, like I said, but the man is a total ass.


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## Fou-lu (Apr 11, 2008)

Uwe Boll said:
			
		

> If you write me, then donâ€™t write me with some bullshit nicknames from the internet. Write me with your name and address so I can track you down and rip you apart.



 I dare you guys to write him! I dare you! He'll rip you apart!


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## Azure (Apr 11, 2008)

Just an idle question, but what did Uwe Boll do to piss of the fandom?  I know hes a craptastic movie maker, but why a petition?
Who really cares?


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## Fou-lu (Apr 11, 2008)

AzurePhoenix said:
			
		

> Just an idle question, but what did Uwe Boll do to piss of the fandom?  I know hes a craptastic movie maker, but why a petition?
> Who really cares?



I guess people feel like he's brutally mutilating and raping the games his movies are based on.

Personally I don't get it either. I mean have you ever seen a good video game movie? Mario Bros? Doom? Street fighter? Why haven't I seen any petitions against the directors of those movies?


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## Tycho (Apr 11, 2008)

Fou-lu said:
			
		

> Personally I don't get it either. I mean have you ever seen a good video game movie? Mario Bros? Doom? Street fighter? Why haven't I seen any petitions against the directors of those movies?



Because I think the people responsible for each of those movies respectively realized how badly they had fucked up and didn't make the same mistake twice.

Mario Bros. was so weird I feel the need to differentiate it from the others there.  I mean, it wasn't a great movie by ANY stretch of the imagination, but it was so mindbogglingly weird that I can't completely dismiss it like I can Doom or Street Fighter.  Like the Freejack of video-game movies.


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## foxhunter (Apr 11, 2008)

so how can i get bolls address so i can write him and have him rip me apart?


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## Fou-lu (Apr 11, 2008)

Tycho The Itinerant said:
			
		

> Fou-lu said:
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Paul Anderson worked on Street Fighter, the Resident Evil movies and Dead or Alive. All of which were trash. He's also working on a Castlevania movie I believe. There are also others who have worked on multiple video game movies.

I should start a petition against him.



			
				foxhunter said:
			
		

> so how can i get bolls address so i can write him and have him rip me apart?



hehe, try this one:

BOLU - Filmproduktions- und Verleih GmbH
Schweinfurter Strasse 82
97493 Bergrheinfeld
Telefon: +49 97 21 / 5 41 15 - 0
Telefax: +49 97 21 / 5 41 15 â€“ 11
GeschÃ¤ftsfÃ¼hrer: Dr. Uwe Boll


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## Tycho (Apr 11, 2008)

Fou-lu said:
			
		

> Paul Anderson worked on Street Fighter, the Resident Evil movies and Dead or Alive. All of which were trash. He's also working on a Castlevania movie I believe. There are also others who have worked on multiple video game movies.
> 
> I should start a petition against him.



fuck yes.  Holy fuck, keep him away from Castlevania.  That game has potential as a to-film translation.


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## AlexInsane (Apr 11, 2008)

I'd like to say something really witty, but I fail.

How about...Uwe Boll: Serious Motherfucking Business.


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## Fou-lu (Apr 11, 2008)

Tycho The Itinerant said:
			
		

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hehe, yeah maybe I should, but not today though. It's 4:30 am here, I'm going to bed now.


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## foxhunter (Apr 11, 2008)

ima ganna write this guy and it will be total lulz for all. and if he dose come to rip me apart i shall video tape it and give y'all the the first showing b4 youtube


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## Get-dancing (Apr 12, 2008)

Well I know its gay, but as long as his films keep on making money then the producers will like him still, so you better get used to him.


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## Meliz (Apr 12, 2008)

his movies make losses. never profit. i can't think of ONE film of his that earned back HALF of what it cost to make.

and i'm a Boll fan ^^.


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## kitetsu (Apr 12, 2008)

That's some serious lemming talk right there. Watch out for the pied piper. :I


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## Ty Vulpine (Apr 13, 2008)

Tycho The Itinerant said:
			
		

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Sorry, but it's true. Internet petitions are not considered legally valid, as they do not contain authentic signatures, real names nor addresses.


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## Meliz (Apr 13, 2008)

TyVulpine said:
			
		

> Tycho The Itinerant said:
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does this mean Uwe will not have to stop making movies?

^^

i is appi nau


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## Ty Vulpine (Apr 13, 2008)

Meliz said:
			
		

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Well, if people do want to stop him, they'll have to do it the old-fashioned way. With pen and paper petitions.


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## Ishnuvalok (Apr 18, 2008)

TyVulpine said:
			
		

> Well, if people do want to stop him, they'll have to do it the old-fashioned way. With pen and paper petitions.



I was going to go midevil-style witch hunt but ok, pen and paper petitions would work. But this would mean a mass-orginisation of the tubes.


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## kitetsu (Apr 18, 2008)

Pen and paper? Are you serious? That's the petitions of the 90s. If you want old fashioned, you're looking at billy clubs and cold water tortures.


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## Armaetus (Apr 18, 2008)

Fou-lu said:
			
		

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Silent Hill was the one that was good to me.


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## kitetsu (Apr 29, 2008)

Boll is now challenging Michael Bay to the same boxing match as last time.

I'm sorry, but this is just insane. More insane than usual.


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## Ishnuvalok (Apr 29, 2008)

kitetsu said:


> Boll is now challenging Michael Bay to the same boxing match as last time.
> 
> I'm sorry, but this is just insane. More insane than usual.



Wow....just....wow....


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## AnarchicQ (Apr 29, 2008)

heh, I just made a video about this a few days ago.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=nK_Rc3MK84s


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## Hanzo (Apr 30, 2008)

he is just a director....who's films I never seen.


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## Rhainor (Apr 30, 2008)

Hanzo said:


> he is just a director....who's films I never seen.



He's the most stuck-up director on Earth, whose films are largely regarded as absolute crap (and insults to the franchises they're based on).

I haven't seen any of his movies either, and I don't want to.


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## Hanzo (Apr 30, 2008)

Rhainor said:


> He's the most stuck-up director on Earth, whose films are largely regarded as absolute crap (and insults to the franchises they're based on).
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> I haven't seen any of his movies either, and I don't want to.



I saw some parts of house of the dead, was dumb they put scenes of the video games in it. And the Cake is a lie!? *gasps as i stop eating it*


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