# Most ridiculous Final Fantasy weapon?



## Koray (Aug 10, 2010)

Which one do you think it is? 

I think it's Cloud's buster sword in the Advent Children movie 






Seperates to:





and just for measurement:


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## Xenke (Aug 10, 2010)

Totally Vanille's weapon.


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## Tycho (Aug 10, 2010)

Hi, my name is Luso Clemens and what the FUCK am I holding?





Bullet goes whar?

What the shit?


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## SirRob (Aug 10, 2010)

The Hurdy-Gurdy in Final Fantasy Tactics Advance 2. It has attack comparable to a sword, too...


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## Evandeskunk (Aug 10, 2010)

Don't be ridiculous :3


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## Lobar (Aug 10, 2010)

Gunblades really should have been more like a rifle, with a barrel along the entire back edge.

not that they make much sense in any case


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## Tycho (Aug 10, 2010)

SirRob said:


> The Hurdy-Gurdy in Final Fantasy Tactics Advance 2. It has attack comparable to a sword, too...


 
Well, it WAS some kind of crazy ancient Moogle-tech instrument anyway.  The Moogles are the kind of people who would come up with a weaponized string instrument.



Lobar said:


> Gunblades really should have been more like a rifle, with a barrel along the entire back edge.
> 
> not that they make much sense in any case


 
Should have been a rifle with a bayonet, basically.


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## 8-bit (Aug 10, 2010)

All the FF weapons are ridiculous


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## SirRob (Aug 10, 2010)

Tycho said:


> Well, it WAS some kind of crazy ancient Moogle-tech instrument anyway.  The Moogles are the kind of people who would come up with a weaponized string instrument.


It doesn't seem much like crazy ancient Moogle-tech when they're bashing it on the heads of their enemies...


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## Tycho (Aug 10, 2010)

8-bit said:


> All the FF weapons are ridiculous


 
I dunno, at least Irvine in FF8 had the brains to bring a gun to a sword fight.  It's a shame that all the guns in FF8 are apparently Airsoft guns.

Also, does Cloud turn into Shiva the Hindu multi-armed deity of destruction in the Advent Children movie? Because otherwise I'm thinking he takes the whole idea of "bring a spare just in case" a wee bit too seriously.


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## Captain Howdy (Aug 10, 2010)

Sephiroths basic sword is ridiculous, as far as possible swords go. It's what, 6-8 feet long?


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## DragonRift (Aug 10, 2010)

Nothing is more ridiculous than tossing a fucking BALL at a monster...


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## CannonFodder (Aug 10, 2010)

Tycho said:


> I dunno, at least Irvine in FF8 had the brains to bring a gun to a sword fight.  It's a shame that all the guns in FF8 are apparently Airsoft guns.
> 
> Also, does Cloud turn into Shiva the Hindu multi-armed deity of destruction in the Advent Children movie? Because otherwise I'm thinking he takes the whole idea of "bring a spare just in case" a wee bit too seriously.


 Yeah, why is it that in all final fantasy games guns don't do alot of damage, atleast Sazh made sense in ffxiii cause they were fighting machines and the army with bullet proof armour.

Yeah wtf is up with advent children?


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## Koronikov (Aug 10, 2010)

DragonRift said:


> Nothing is more ridiculous than tossing a fucking BALL at a monster...


 
but he was a professional ball tosser :V


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## Runefox (Aug 10, 2010)

Lastdirewolf said:


> Sephiroths basic sword is ridiculous, as far as possible swords go. It's what, 6-8 feet long?


 
Actually, there are (were) swords that long. Here's an example - The Norimitsu Odachi - A bit over twelve and a quarter feet long in total.

Gunblades are also real.


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## dogski (Aug 10, 2010)

If I'm not mistaken from what I've read back in the day, the bullets on Squall's gunblade were more-or-less used for heavy damage impact during his limit break, Renzokuken. Every time you used the R1 trigger you pulled the trigger on the gun and etc.


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## Captain Howdy (Aug 10, 2010)

Runefox said:


> Actually, there are (were) swords that long. Here's an example - The Norimitsu Odachi - A bit over twelve and a quarter feet long in total.
> 
> Gunblades are also real.


 
But was it _used_ or was it just for decoration? I know it's possible to _make_ a sword as long as you want, but I meant 'ridiculous' in the fact that it was actually wielded.


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## Runefox (Aug 10, 2010)

Lastdirewolf said:


> But was it _used_ or was it just for decoration? I know it's possible to _make_ a sword as long as you want, but I meant 'ridiculous' in the fact that it was actually wielded.


 
It was meant as a "field sword", for taking on many opponents at once at a distance. Its function was largely replaced by the naginata, but swords like that were in fact used in battle. I'm not sure if that one specifically was used in battle, but later on when swords of a certain length were banned, they were used as ceremonial and religious pieces.

EDIT: It's strange and maybe somewhat inaccurate to say that the naginata replaced it since that weapon was around for far longer; However, the difficulty in using an odachi meant that fewer men could be adequately trained to use it. After the early 1600's, field battles no longer occurred in Japan, and they were finally relegated de-facto to ceremonial purposes.


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## Captain Howdy (Aug 10, 2010)

Runefox said:


> It was meant as a "field sword", for taking on many opponents at once at a distance. Its function was largely replaced by the naginata, but swords like that were in fact used in battle. I'm not sure if that one specifically was used in battle, but later on when swords of a certain length were banned, they were used as ceremonial and religious pieces.


 
Yeah that's the important factor. You could make a sword 20, 30 feet long, but it wouldn't be usable - But if it was actually used, then it gets respect 

that is pretty neat though, albeit _fucking ridiculous_ in size.


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## Sigma (Aug 11, 2010)

Punching the monsters (snow btw)
And his weapon is his jacket? (dont the emblems change when new weapons are equipped)
The original buster sword from ff7 must have weighed a ton as well


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## Anon1 (Aug 11, 2010)

Do keyblades count?


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## Tycho (Aug 11, 2010)

Anon1 said:


> Do keyblades count?


 
That's KH, I don't think they should really count (however retarded they are and however entangled with the Final Fantasy franchise KH is)


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## foxmusk (Aug 11, 2010)

disregarding Quina and his/her use of a large fork...





most eccentric weapon is probably that large sword from FFtactics that Tycho pointed out, seeing as it is obviously massive and no one on FFtactics has any muscle definition. at least cloud was toned.


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## Tycho (Aug 11, 2010)

HarleyRoadkill said:


> most eccentric weapon is probably that large sword from FFtactics that Tycho pointed out, seeing as it is obviously massive and no one on FFtactics has any muscle definition. at least cloud was toned.


 
Well, the Bangaa were fairly burly.


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## Joeyyy (Aug 11, 2010)

its been posted, but the gun blade.  its awesome... but wierd


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## Runefox (Aug 11, 2010)

Joeyyy said:


> its been posted, but the gun blade.  its awesome... but wierd


 
They're also real.


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## 8-bit (Aug 11, 2010)

Friendship is the weirdest weapon I've seen used in FF


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## Digitalpotato (Aug 11, 2010)

Sorry, in Final Fantasy Tactics, there are characters who attack with dictionaries. Instead of thinking of the obvious uses (Ie, clubbing. Even Quina's forks can inflict some damage.), they read from them and it somehow causes damage. Maybe they're actually reading from terrible books like The Giver or Left Behind, or incredibly boring books like Moby Dick and War and Peace. You think the Buster Sword is ridiculous? Ahahaha - That's at least based off of a *REAL* weapon and you at least KNOW how it could hurt despite having a rather silly design. 




8-bit said:


> All the FF weapons are ridiculous


 
Uhm..... you *do* know they have weapons based off of real life stuff, right? You just don't hear about them because they're so boring the artists never show 'em and most of the haters only see the ornate/unusual weapons. 

and btw, Tales of has weirder weapons. Until you see a Final Fantasy character attacking by blowing bubbles out of a straw, using their broom they're flying on, or shooting bullets out of their hand...


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## Jashwa (Aug 11, 2010)

I liked Left Behind ;~;


Cloud's sword has to be the most ridiculous.


Edit: Or using the souls of monsters you've captured. That's pretty ridiculous.


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## 8-bit (Aug 11, 2010)

Digitalpotato said:


> Uhm..... you *do* know they have weapons based off of real life stuff, right? You just don't hear about them because they're so boring the artists never show 'em and most of the haters only see the ornate/unusual weapons.
> 
> and btw, Tales of has weirder weapons. Until you see a Final Fantasy character attacking by blowing bubbles out of a straw, using their broom they're flying on, or shooting bullets out of their hand...



Uhh, you're getting butthurt over a video game? :V  And I hope you aren't insinuating that I be a hater. Because I'm not. Also, I haven't played Tales.


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## SirRob (Aug 11, 2010)

8-bit said:


> I haven't played Tales.


You HEATHEN!


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## 8-bit (Aug 11, 2010)

SirRob said:


> You HEATHEN!


 
FILTH AND LIES! D:<


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## Azure (Aug 11, 2010)

Well, since everyone covered the ridiculous looking shit, I'll just go for pure damage. Let's take Terra from FFIV, and give her Illumina and Atma Weapon, and then equip the offering. 99% of shit just dissolves in your face except for the highest level bosses. I think I dickslapped Kefka with just a single round of attacks. Not that he cares about that fight much anyway.


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## Attaman (Aug 11, 2010)

Tycho said:


> I dunno, at least Irvine in FF8 had the brains to bring a gun to a sword fight.  It's a shame that all the guns in FF8 are apparently Airsoft guns.


  Actually, a bunch of FF games (At least Tactics, I think Tactics Advanced, and FFVII) all had guns (and heck, those are only the ones I played).  I'll admit however that, barring FFT, most guns aren't exactly practical (How does Barret reload his gun arm?  Are his munitions caseless?  Is that where all the watermellon seeds go?).



Tycho said:


> Also, does Cloud turn into Shiva the Hindu multi-armed deity of destruction in the Advent Children movie? Because otherwise I'm thinking he takes the whole idea of "bring a spare just in case" a wee bit too seriously.


  He only ever uses two at a time, to my understanding (due to physical limitations, most likely).  Apparently it was caused due to jokes some creative design team members heard earlier about how since he has such a huge sword, why not replace it with quantity in the film while still giving the trademark BFS.  



Runefox said:


> They're also real.


If you note, they were also horribly impractical in most designs.  Theoretically, it's awesome:  You can shoot and stab.  Practically, they're horrible as often times you wind up sacrificing use in each for the final product, which leaves you with a sub-par weapon that can't really specialize in anything:  The gun has no accuracy since you can only aim by pointing it in a general direction, the sword has to worry about trigger-discipline now and often times is being held in a very awkward position compared to a regular sword.

Anyways, the main victor here is still XIII's weapon:


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## Tycho (Aug 11, 2010)

Digitalpotato said:


> Sorry, in Final Fantasy Tactics, there are characters who attack with dictionaries. Instead of thinking of the obvious uses (Ie, clubbing. Even Quina's forks can inflict some damage.), they read from them and it somehow causes damage. Maybe they're actually reading from terrible books like The Giver or Left Behind, or incredibly boring books like Moby Dick and War and Peace. You think the Buster Sword is ridiculous? Ahahaha - That's at least based off of a *REAL* weapon and you at least KNOW how it could hurt despite having a rather silly design.



In FFTA2 they smack enemies with the books.



Digitalpotato said:


> Uhm..... you *do* know they have weapons based off of real life stuff, right? You just don't hear about them because they're so boring the artists never show 'em and most of the haters only see the ornate/unusual weapons.
> 
> and btw, Tales of has weirder weapons. Until you see a Final Fantasy character attacking by blowing bubbles out of a straw, using their broom they're flying on, *or shooting bullets out of their hand*...


 
Does Barrett count?

Also, Super Mario RPG - one character uses cymbals to attack.  Another character attacks by hurling one of the other characters at opponents.  Oh, and of course, a kicked Koopa shell is one of the weapons.  SMRPG is pretty silly to begin with, though, so... yeah.

I personally think Rinoa's weapon in FFVIII is pretty damn dumb.  It looks like one of those toy plane launcher things.  And Tifa's giant ninja star, WTF?


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## Digitalpotato (Aug 11, 2010)

^ Don't you mean Yuffie? 

Course she can already use some pretty crazy weapons as is.  You can equip her with a pinwheel. (Paper cut, anyone?) 

Also Barret doesnt' count because they're physical bullets. I think like...Kohak's brother or whoever it is shoots laser bullets out of his fingertips.


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## Kajet (Aug 11, 2010)

Yeah... I'm gonna go with using a freaking ball as a weapon... Wakka must have been a total dick in P.E. during dodgeball...


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## Attaman (Aug 11, 2010)

Kajet said:


> Yeah... I'm gonna go with using a freaking ball as a weapon... Wakka must have been a total dick in P.E. during dodgeball...


 "Behind a corner, eighty yards away, between a bunch of other people... I can make this shot."


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## Willow (Aug 11, 2010)

Tycho said:


> That's KH, I don't think they should really count (however retarded they are and however entangled with the Final Fantasy franchise KH is)


 Yes and no I guess. I would just count that as a general squeenix weapon.


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## Jashwa (Aug 12, 2010)

No one else thinks that catching a monster and using its soul as your weapon is ridiculous? You have its soul in your hand and you punch people with it.


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## Fenrari (Aug 12, 2010)

You forgot any of lulu's dolls...


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## Tycho (Aug 12, 2010)

Digitalpotato said:


> ^ Don't you mean Yuffie?
> 
> Course she can already use some pretty crazy weapons as is.  You can equip her with a pinwheel. (Paper cut, anyone?)
> 
> Also Barret doesnt' count because they're physical bullets. I think like...Kohak's brother or whoever it is shoots laser bullets out of his fingertips.


 
I thought Tifa Lockhart was the one with the HYOOJ ninja star.  My bad :V not really a serious FFFag myself.



Willow said:


> Yes and no I guess. I would just count that as a general squeenix weapon.


 
Point taken.  Square/Squeenix has a knack for crazy implements of pain in nearly all of its games.



Jashwa said:


> No one else thinks that catching a monster and using its soul as your weapon is ridiculous? You have its soul in your hand and you punch people with it.


 
It's kinda silly but personally I think it looks almost mundane compared with the other crap they've come up with.

EDIT: Thought of another one, though technically it can't be used as a weapon per se without utilizing a special skill like Mug - the Songstress' microphone in FFX-2.  You can smack enemies with it via Mug or another specialized attack move.


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## Willow (Aug 12, 2010)

Tycho said:


> Point taken.  Square/Squeenix has a knack for crazy implements of pain in nearly all of its games.


 TWEWY pins. That is all.


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## Tycho (Aug 12, 2010)

Willow said:


> TWEWY pins. That is all.


 
Tacky little buttons that let you set stuff on fire and toss motorcycles at things NOISE.  (Yes, that cute little painted frog is going to fucking kill you if you don't do something.) Woooo!


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## Smelge (Aug 12, 2010)

Oh come on. Rinoa, FFVIII, she fires her fucking dog at the bad guys.

For bonus points, when you get Rinoa, name her A whore, and name the dog Anal.

"A whore uses Anal Rush"


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## Tycho (Aug 12, 2010)

Smelge said:


> Oh come on. Rinoa, FFVIII, she fires her fucking dog at the bad guys.
> 
> For bonus points, when you get Rinoa, name her A whore, and name the dog Anal.
> 
> "A whore uses Anal Rush"


 
Where's that LP where they name her that? That one was funny as fuck.  Anal Cannon > Anal Rush.

Also, that's her Limit Break, not her weapon per se.  Hell, in FF6 Shadow's dog would occasionally show up and bite an enemy on the nads or something for lots of damage.


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## Smelge (Aug 12, 2010)

She still loads her pet onto an arm-mounted razordisc launcher and fires him at the enemies faces.

I assume they don't have any animal rights on that planet, seeing as a major passtime seems to be leaving town and fucking up the wildlife.


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## Tycho (Aug 12, 2010)

Smelge said:


> She still loads her pet onto an arm-mounted razordisc launcher and fires him at the enemies faces.



PEW PEW LASERCATS GOT NOTHING ON ANGELO ANAL CANNON



Smelge said:


> I assume they don't have any animal rights on that planet, seeing as a major passtime seems to be leaving town and fucking up the wildlife.


 
And turning them into playing cards.

EDIT:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ts4sMQA4zqA

Anal Cannon in the car.


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## Attaman (Aug 12, 2010)

Tycho said:


> Where's that LP where they name her that? That one was funny as fuck.  Anal Cannon > Anal Rush.


  It likely wasn't the first, but Spoony does it in his Final Fantasy VIII Let's Play / Review.

And I would have thought clamp-sword-pistol-club would trump in the most ridiculous weapon category.  Well, maybe excluding Barret's Scissor Arm.


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## lupinealchemist (Aug 13, 2010)

Cait Sith's megaphone.


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## Attaman (Aug 13, 2010)

lupinealchemist said:


> Cait Sith's megaphone.


 Technically, it isn't even a weapon.  It's being used to order the giant Mog, not to actually fight with.


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## The DK (Aug 14, 2010)

Lulus dolls for sure


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## Fenrari (Aug 14, 2010)

I might actually have to change my vote to the souls the Morpher Class in FFTA had.


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## Azure (Aug 14, 2010)

Tycho said:


> Where's that LP where they name her that? That one was funny as fuck.  Anal Cannon > Anal Rush.
> 
> Also, that's her Limit Break, not her weapon per se.  Hell, in FF6 Shadow's dog would occasionally show up and bite an enemy on the nads or something for lots of damage.


 Interceptor is the shit. He even comes and blocks damage.


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## Calemeyr (Aug 15, 2010)

Wakka's blitzballs, the gunblade, and Rinoa's dog, Angelo.


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