# For Nuerodivergant People- Hope do you cope?



## LILY_DEER (Jan 25, 2021)

Hi I have Autism and ADHD- I find furry stuff calms me down a lot because its a community with a lot of cool people and fur is a good sensory texture thingy lol 
(and of course therapy is good too!)
for other people like me how do you cope/ make friends?


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## ben909 (Jan 25, 2021)

Um... just tried different things untill one worked... may not be best path though


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## the sleepiest kitty (Jan 25, 2021)

I have a mood disorder and C-PTSD, what calms me down is music, playing Animal Crossing and looking up funny videos on Youtube!


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## Parabellum3 (Jan 25, 2021)

I put myself on temporary SSDI so that I can at least get compensated for living with illnesses. I also take a whole bunch of meds and smoke weed, but only when I need to. And basically I do the other generic things that other normal folks do that can calm you down.


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## Yakamaru (Jan 25, 2021)

Cope? Cope with what? Having Autism?


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## JuniperW (Jan 25, 2021)

Most of the time, practicing my hobbies or watching some Youtube videos about stuff I'm interested in.


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## LILY_DEER (Jan 25, 2021)

Yakamaru said:


> Cope? Cope with what? Having Autism?


things that come with having having autism like not being great in social settings and sensory overload and hyperfixation and/or inattentiveness


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## Casey Fluffbat (Jan 25, 2021)

I have ADHD and take anti-anxiety and anti-depressants for the problems I face. I try to avoid or take breaks from frustrating things often, as it can set me up to be more sensitive to other disturbances, even minor ones, and overload me. My work flow also gets interrupted pretty easily and it's hard to get back into it what I was doing once I'm taken out of it once or twice. It's a struggle trying to find consistent focus on things which swings my mood wildly as I feel the best when I can focus for extended periods of time.


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## The_biscuits_532 (Jan 25, 2021)

I have trichotillomania, a form of OCD. Fortunately it was mostly caused by my anxiety when it was at it's worst so my therapist basically just got me socialising more. 

Otherwise I need to be doing something with my hands. 

If it does get really bad, I have to go for the skinhead look until it gets better. 

Which may be the reason why I prefer to grow my hair out when I can, and why my fursona has long hair.


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## Yakamaru (Jan 25, 2021)

Hmm. I don't really have any need of coping with having Autism because I don't really consider it a negative aspect of my life. Sure my understanding of social cues and aspects take a punch in the face the same way I end up being more direct and blunt, something of which some people don't take too kindly to, but it is what it is I suppose. Give and take, pros and cons. No one's perfect, and you have to give up something in order to gain something else. It's a con at times, but generally speaking I find it a huge boon to other aspects such as my intelligence, self-awareness and being able to properly focus at the tasks at hand. Depending on how your Autism is used, it can be channeled properly into something useful for not just you but also your employer.

There are several companies over here that in some instances much prefer to hire people with Autism due to the focus we can have compared to people who don't have it. No clue on if it's illegal to only hire people with Autism though.

On the topic of sensory overload.. I drive forklifts for a living, so having focus on the tasks at hand isn't an issue, in fact, it helps immeasurably to be able to focus uninterrupted on said tasks. Both my boss as well as most of my coworkers know I have Autism, so there aren't really any issues. I am happy to share my experiences as well as my understanding of having Autism with people. Tying into my social anxiety as well as my introverted nature, I do on occasion get overloaded though. So far I've only needed to take half a day off due to a mixture of a panic attack/social anxiety attack, so I've come rather far on being able to handle and deal with the more.. unique and at times less agreeable part of myself.

Being hyperfixated isn't necessarily a bad thing. Depending on how it's used/channeled it can be incredibly positive/useful.


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## MaelstromEyre (Feb 9, 2021)

ADHD here, not diagnosed until I was in my thirties, so I had the added benefit of developing severe anxiety and depression along the way.  To add to that, my therapist thought I also could have BPD but we never really pursued testing for that.
As a kid, the thing that helped me most was being around horses.  My family didn't own them, I took riding lessons at a local stable and, as I got older, found local barns where I did barn work in exchange for being allowed to ride their horses.  
The barn was a safe haven for me, as I was socially awkward, stuttered, scatterbrained.  Horses just "made sense" to me.  There was a routine to them.  I didn't have to figure out social cues when working with them.  They satisfied all of my brain's craving for stimulation - the noises they made, the way they felt, the way they sounded, even the smells of the barn (not the poo, but the smell of the animals themselves, the smell of the feed and the bedding and the hay).  
I've been riding and working around horses for thirty years now and still feel the same way about it.  It's given me the confidence that I never had anywhere else, it helps me focus more than anything else, and it just makes my brain chatter slow down when I'm at the barn.


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## Stray Cat Terry (Feb 9, 2021)

Gender dysphoria and bipolar disorder.

Gender dysphoria.


Spoiler



Hanging around in virtual space kinda ease my gender dysphoria, cuz A) I meet good people or otherwise B) I conceal (or even fake my gender when necessary) when I have to keep facing stereotypes.

But I'm actually living in the real world and I have problems. I know it's just being me rather than a problem but what I mean is the fact that I have to suffer. It can't be solved and that's my personal 'curse' to carry on by myself... Transgender surgery? I'm not guarantted to live without further dramas as long as my understandings of the society and morals around my culture serve right, so I'm not doing it.

It's good to have people who understand me, and this is the best I can ask for in this world.



Bipolar disorder.


Spoiler



Bipolar disorder, on the other hand, is not inborn like the GD. I somehow went through some series  screwed experiences that ultimately lead me into traumas, I suppose. 

No matter how it actually began, one thing for sure is that I have it, and doctors know it. Yet, all I can do now is to control, to make myself happy when depressed, no matter the cost, so that I don't go off the rails; and to keep my behaviors the best I can when hyped, to prevent doing regretful actions like dumping my money on a friend.

Yes, I have been into various treatments about BD, like meds or even locking myself in a special ward. But they won't work and just waste my money and time. Well... at least I harmed no one so.....



Other stuffs... are not confirmed by the professionals, nor I have went through tests. So I'm not gonna mention them now.

All I can say is... Well, I admire those people without such issues. 

But sometimes, it feels kinda heartwarming to know I'm not alone. UwU... (Never mean that I enjoy people suffering) 
Plus, when available, it feels great to be acknowledged and be treated as who I am(soul), not who I am(body). And I'm very grateful to those who embrace me as who I am! >w<


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## Firuthi Dragovic (Feb 9, 2021)

LILY_DEER said:


> things that come with having having autism like not being great in social settings and sensory overload and hyperfixation and/or inattentiveness


Hmmm.... Autism (the part of the spectrum that used to be called Asperger's, to be exact) here.

Social settings, I tend to have strict places where I go and often have a need to evacuate early from social gatherings.  Or I bring some item that I can divert to when I'm really overloaded.  Now that I'm in my mid-30s no one can force me to go to gatherings where none of these are an option.

Sensory overload?  For the longest time I just chose to grin and bear it.  I've actually got several sets of earplugs and headphones I can use now, plus sunglasses (that I still need to get used to using for long periods).

Hyperfixation... not in a situation just yet where I can just let it happen while I'm at home, and to be honest that does cause me some significant stress.  If I REALLY have to have something done at a specific time, I set a timer and don't get into anything where I CAN hyperfixate.

Not sure what I can say about inattentiveness as no one's ever commented on that with me.  If anything, I'm too attentive, and often to the wrong things.

If you want to know any others just go ahead and ask - I tend to have an easier time jogging my memory if given an exact question.


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## Pomorek (Feb 9, 2021)

I don't... cope too well at all.

The society around me doesn't tolerate any "strangeness". And on the work market I'm a complete pariah, treated as if I had leprosy or something. Until after 30, when I finally learned to *kind of* pretend to be a normie, I was being rejected by almost anyone and anything you can think of. Now at least there can be exceptions... No idea about making friends, I'm horrible at keeping in contact. There are literally three people I care about; they care about me in return and that's enough.


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## Jaredthefox92 (Feb 10, 2021)

I have high functioning autism, and I cope by just getting over it. Truth be told with my tinnitus and other issues, my autism isn't really something I worry about anymore. The best thing you can do is try to fight your fears and try to fit in as best as you can.


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## Grimfang (Feb 10, 2021)

Pomorek said:


> I don't... cope too well at all.
> 
> The society around me doesn't tolerate any "strangeness". And on the work market I'm a complete pariah, treated as if I had leprosy or something. Until after 30, when I finally learned to *kind of* pretend to be a normie, I was being rejected by almost anyone and anything you can think of. Now at least there can be exceptions... No idea about making friends, I'm horrible at keeping in contact. There are literally three people I care about; they care about me in return and that's enough.



This sounds familiar. I expected to kind of "transform" with age into a normal person. I've just found I have a few important people in my life, and then I've grown in my own ways to get along. My 20s were a bad trip of mental issues. Only at 30 did I start finding my own ways to understand and manage it all.

If you're (in general, not at Pomorek) really "off" or whatever, you will have to grow some thick skin as well as self-acceptance. Give yourself time for that. Like I am a seriously sensitive dude, for example, and I had to learn to stop beating myself up just for that. There's enough people out there who will do that for you.

Coping: Hobbies help. I've also taken a lot from various psych and philosophy sources, used it in my own way. Meditation helps -- practice understanding your emotional thinking, just one aspect of your mind that shouldn't always be behind the wheel.


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## Jaredthefox92 (Feb 10, 2021)

Grimfang said:


> This sounds familiar. I expected to kind of "transform" with age into a normal person. I've just found I have a few important people in my life, and then I've grown in my own ways to get along. My 20s were a bad trip of mental issues. Only at 30 did I start finding my own ways to understand and manage it all.
> 
> If you're (in general, not at Pomorek) really "off" or whatever, you will have to grow some thick skin as well as self-acceptance. Give yourself time for that. Like I am a seriously sensitive dude, for example, and I had to learn to stop beating myself up just for that. There's enough people out there who will do that for you.
> 
> Coping: Hobbies help. I've also taken a lot from various psych and philosophy sources, used it in my own way. Meditation helps -- practice understanding your emotional thinking, just one aspect of your mind that shouldn't always be behind the wheel.



I agree, there's a lot of autistic people in the Sonic fandom and in the Warhammer 40,000 fandom. Finding a good discord to people to talk to you goes a long way. I game with the lads and we're all autistic, which is funny when you see us bickering about playing Gladius: Relics of War, but yeah trying to find support groups is nothing to be ashamed of. Everyone needs help out there.


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## Zehlua (Mar 24, 2021)

I have autism that varies from high to low functioning (which is why I don't like functioning labels!) Basically, this means that I'm a Proper Adult Slightly to the Left most of the time, but under certain stresses, I have terrible brain fogs and panic attacks that can disable me for minutes to hours, and once, ~5 years.

I cope with therapy and adjusting aspects of my life such as job, friends, living space, clothes, diet, movement, and significant other. It has taken me almost a decade to put my world right, and I'm still not quite done! If one thing causes you distress or doesn't work for you, change it! Never settle for misery. Life is not supposed to be miserable.


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## Bigjackaal48 (Mar 27, 2021)

Having moderate autism(I need constant support), Can get hard when people just get weird when I can just shut down with no warning.


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## Deleted member 134556 (Mar 27, 2021)

I need time to myself

And atmosphere that is quiet 

Stimulation such as video games 

Sunshine every day, and a walk 

Lots of protein for mental health 

And more things I'm discovering every day


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## Troj (Mar 27, 2021)

I need quiet alone time or time with family in order to recharge. 

I make friends through online communities, conventions, furmeets, autism groups, and other gatherings related to political causes I care about or hobbies I enjoy.


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## Firuthi Dragovic (Mar 28, 2021)

Okay, I've got a few more to add at this point.  Mainly because I'm not functioning nearly as much as the original diagnosis I had would imply.  Mine is still a case where I could attempt independence though.

First, I quite legitimately cannot handle any sort of surprise in a sane fashion.  ANY sort of surprise.  I react HARD.  At this point I'm just accepting that this is a fact of my life.

Second, it's almost like I absorb ANY hostility near me.  Like, way worse than most people.  I could be riled up for an hour from one nasty conversation.  (And forget politics entirely at this point, that can leave me on edge the whole day.)

Third.... well we'll see if this still holds when I go low-carb for a while, but I'm a HUGE stress eater.

Fourth, I seem to have a VERY hard limit on how many instructions I can take.  I found it impossible to handle doctor's instructions while also juggling tax prep and maintaining a house all by myself - my brain just didn't have the energy to follow through.

Fifth, I have been basically going friendless for a while now because I simply have no energy to handle being around anyone even virtually for more than a few minutes at a time.  It's possible I've been in burnout for an extended period and never resolved it.

That's about all I'm aware of at the moment.


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## Netanye Dakabi (Mar 30, 2021)

LILY_DEER said:


> For Nuerodivergant People- Hope do you cope?​


I've yet to find any neurotypical people I respect the opinion of frankly.


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## MemphisHyena (Apr 1, 2021)

I have diagnosed autism and adhd, possibly BPD too. Lately, my focus  has been staying true to myself and what makes me happy, which has helped a ton.

Part of that is addressing my sensory issues. I keep fidget toys in my pocket, use a baby toothbrush when regular brushing hurts my teeth, and have a variety of playlists with different moods to help me block out the world when I need to. I struggle with healthy eating so I keep a stock of vitamin gummies to supplement my diet.

I've been working on meditation too, and I find it helps a lot. I'll set a timer for ten minutes, light some incense and put on a relaxing playlist. When my mind wanders (which is a lot), I focus on my breathing to return to the moment.

Right now, I'm struggling with my desire for independence but inability to hold a job. I haven't found the answer yet, but I'm hoping that if I keep practicing my art I might be able to make money from commissions one day.


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## Netanye Dakabi (Apr 13, 2021)

MemphisHyena said:


> I have diagnosed autism and adhd, possibly BPD too. Lately, my focus  has been staying true to myself and what makes me happy, which has helped a ton.
> 
> Part of that is addressing my sensory issues. I keep fidget toys in my pocket, use a baby toothbrush when regular brushing hurts my teeth, and have a variety of playlists with different moods to help me block out the world when I need to. I struggle with healthy eating so I keep a stock of vitamin gummies to supplement my diet.
> 
> ...


word of advice.

selfishness and selflessness should each be taken in moderation.


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