# Looking for Feedback



## kitreshawn (Feb 24, 2008)

Recently just posted some writing that took about 2 months to fully write and edit.  Because of all the work poured into it I would appreciate anyone who could look it over and tell me what they think.

I am not sure if this is final draft or not.  Mostly because after looking at the same pages for about 2 weeks straight it is quite possible I need a break before catching any remaining flaws.

Here are the links to each chapter:


Chapter 1: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/1100002/


> Robin, the commander of a small group of mercenaries that have returned from the Crusade, has a problem. Winter is coming and he must find shelter for himself and the other men under his command.
> 
> He pins his hopes on the small trade hub Brin, unwittingly placing himself in a position for great gain or total ruin.



Chapter 2: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/1100012/


> Katherine is (barely) the eldest child of the King and by all rights should be first in line for the throne. At least, that is what she believes. Unfortunately her twin brother, being a male, is in line before her. In a desperate attempt to regain what should be her birthright she travels to the Winter Court in a bid to convince her father to name her his heir.



Chapter 3: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/1100021/


> The first snow of winter has recently fallen but Albin and his mercenary company cannot rest if they wish to be paid. Building simple fortifications and keeping up patrols is hard work, but complications soon show themselves.



Chapter 4: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/1100036/


> The captain of the militia is hiding something from the mercenaries and Albin is not pleased. Apparent help from an unknown source arrives at the same time, however there is no way to be sure if the information is true. It is up to Mahail to discover if their benefactor can be trusted.



Chapter 5: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/1100040/


> Mairin's people have been hit with an unusually harsh winter. While she tries to discover why the spirits have warned them she discovers a disturbing threat on its way to crush her people in the name of conquest.



Also, for those of you who would like a single file look here:
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/1100047/

For everyone who finds time to read any of this thank you.  And if you leave feedback thank you VERY much.


----------



## Anubis16 (Feb 24, 2008)

Technically you're supposed to put this in the crits wanted thread.  Also, it would help to know specifically what you want us to look out for.  Do you just want someone to look over spelling/grammar, or do you want someone to take a closer look at the structure and flow.  It's hard to just read a bunch of chapters and give feedback if you don't know what to look for.  

I do intend to read what you've done so far, but I doubt I'll be able to any time soon.  You've put way too much time into this for it to be ignored.  I'm already behind on some other people's stories, but yours is definitely on the waiting list.


----------



## kitreshawn (Feb 24, 2008)

Anubis16 said:
			
		

> Technically you're supposed to put this in the crits wanted thread.  Also, it would help to know specifically what you want us to look out for.  Do you just want someone to look over spelling/grammar, or do you want someone to take a closer look at the structure and flow.  It's hard to just read a bunch of chapters and give feedback if you don't know what to look for.
> 
> I do intend to read what you've done so far, but I doubt I'll be able to any time soon.  You've put way too much time into this for it to be ignored.  I'm already behind on some other people's stories, but yours is definitely on the waiting list.



Ah, seems I did put it in the wrong place.  I'll keep that in mind for the future.  

As far as what I am looking for, I don't really tend to care what type of feedback any one person gives me so long as I get it.  I find that different people are good at critiquing different aspects and asking specifically about some specific thing doesn't help much.  So whatever you feel like commenting on is fine.

As far as time, take as much as you like.  According to my PDF this is around 37 pages so I hardly expect to hear anything back immediately.


----------



## M. LeRenard (Feb 24, 2008)

It took you two months to write 37 pages?  Gads... you write as slowly as I do.  It took me something like one and a half years to write the second rough draft of my novel.  324 pages, or thereabouts.  Not even a page a day.  I guess.. get used to long-term projects.
I don't think I'll do the whole thing, but I might get around to critiquing the first couple of chapters one of these days.  And I'm only doing it because your avatar is cute.  :wink:


----------

