# Psychological Advice? -long-



## sethisto (Jul 4, 2009)

Sorry if this is long, but I gave up on psychology forums lol.  Maybe a furry might know something more on what exactly is my crazyness?  


So I'll start off by saying i've always had low confidence.  I'm 21 years old.  From grade school to now I never had much self confidence at all. During P.E. I'd stand in places where I knew I wouldn't have to catch the ball, and avoid competition like the plague if I could help it. I quit when I'm winning, because I know I'm going to screw up eventually and prefer to leave a winner than a loser. 

I also have 0 confidence when it comes to talking to women, so I have never had a girlfriend, and never even gotten close to one. 

I also suck at talking to my family members. If they are around, it feels like im frozen or slowed or something. I can barely get full sentences off and talk really quiet. I can't help it, I just can't talk around them. I usually have my friends meet me elsewhere because I'm so silent here in my house. I think they know this, but never really mention it. When I'm in my room I blabber pretty calmly on voice programs with my friends playing video games online, so I'm sure they have heard the normal outside the house me. 

I also feel like I have to fake absolutely everything when it comes to social interactions. I have seperate "groups" of friends, that I hate introducing to one another because I'm a completely different person in each group. In one, i'm really quiet and sort of sit in the background minding my own business, in another, I'm known for never shutting up, and in the 3rd, I take more of a leadership role. I noticed that the longer I hang out with a group, the less social and more distant I get. 

I never actually try to make friends, they sort of just come to me. I don't even know how to approach random people unless I am completely alone and know that no one I know is around. 

---Issue 2--- 

So this one is really weird, and try not to laugh, but go ahead because I/all my friends usually do, though this is completely serious. Ever since middle school, I have had a huge obsession with female dragons. They have to be cute too, not just any female dragon, I'm picky. One of them I have been obsessed with since the beginning. Shes just some random one I found on the internet when I was like 13. I would think about her for hours! every night thats all I would think about, this lasted all the way up until... well last year, when I found another one who is in an actual video game. 

Cynder is her name. I've replayed her game 5-6 times, just because I'm so obsessed with her. It's even worst than the last dragon. Every day, thats all I think about! I hug my pillow pretending it's her! 

So these dragons have sort of replaced the whole need for a girlfriend, at least in my twisted little world. I have a big imagination, and zone out a lot which tends to make time go by pretty quickly when I'm bored. I've always been content with them though, they were my dragons. I'd put them on my binder because I thought it was entertaining when people would comment on how dumb they look. 

Now I know it's wrong. I'm pretty sure any obsession to this degree would be. But I can't resist! I love these dragons! I don't know what I would think about without them! The idea of not being obsessed with them is alien and strange to me. It's been what, 9 years? I spend a lot of time online, I always have. It's always been comfortable here. And I never shut up about my dragons online! I never sought help about it because I never wanted it! Everyone I know knows about this, at least I think they do. I only put Cynder everywhere, cell phone background, computer background, xbox background, pictures of her on my wall. You would think they would get the hint! 

---Issue 3--- 

And finally, issue 3. Now that I'm getting older, all of this seems like a bad idea. I don't have a job anymore, I quit that. No girlfriend obviously, and I usually try to avoid social contact, even with friends. Everyone seems to be out there drinking and having a good time, but I just can't do it. I've never tried alcohol, and really don't want to. It's almost like a hidden code in my head to avoid it. Everyone has girlfriends, which I am slightly jealous of whenever I hear about it. 

I don't really have any motivation to go do this stuff though. I hate parties, I usually end up not knowing what to say and just avoiding everyone until I can leave without making a scene. I'm lonely, and want a girlfriend, but just don't have the confidence to get one. It almost feels like I'm cheating on my invisible girl dragon obsession when I think about going for this. I really don't want to lose that. It's so engraved into my brain. 

Another problem was always the time commitment that comes with a girlfriend. I avoid my friends calls sometimes just because I don't feel like doing anything usually. It's like I'm waiting for some unknown thing to happen and just feel like sitting around bored. I can't imagine a girlfriend walking in randomly during the day, i hate having to do things unplanned like that. Though like most things, if I replace that with Cynder, I'd do anything for her. 

It's funny, If i'm watching a movie, and some relationship breaks up or something involving 2 people, or one of them dies, i really don't care, and think the movie is boring. But if I put myself and one of my dragons in that picture, suddenly I can relate! I'd hate to lose them! 

I also have a lot of random medical issues that keep me from doing things sometimes. Everything from irritable bowel syndrome, to overactive bladder. I had plans to get a overnight stocking job during the summer, but ended up with a bunch of urology related issues that made me skip out on that. It almost feels like it's too far into the summer to go for not now, or maybe my motivation just waned. Some days I'm motivated, thats how I got my last job. Then a week or 3 straight of just not wanting to do anything but sleep and obsess over my dragons, posting them all over the internet and searching for more. 

I play a lot of video games, but can't even pick up any new ones after finishing Cynders game. That's all I ever want to play, everything else seems completely boring now. That's probably the worst part of all of this. I can't start anything. 

Theres a ton more... but I think I covered most of the important points.


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## Isen (Jul 4, 2009)

Listen.  You are asking a furry forum for psychological advice.  Go see a professional therapist who knows what he or she is talking about.


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## sethisto (Jul 4, 2009)

I really don't have the money for a professional.  I figured maybe there were some furrys out there that went through the same thing and could give me some pointers on it.


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## Isen (Jul 4, 2009)

"Folk wisdom" and anecdotal accounts are not what you need.  If you need medical advice, you see a doctor.  If you need psychological advice, you see a therapist.  I don't know what your financial situation is, but it seems like getting a good therapist should be a pretty high priority.


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## Thatch (Jul 4, 2009)

You are a scaliefag and are really socially awkward. Like half the people here. Cry me a river.



Isen said:


> "Folk wisdom" and anecdotal accounts are not what you need.  If you need medical advice, you see a doctor.  If you need psychological advice, you see a therapist.  I don't know what your financial situation is, but it seems like getting a good therapist should be a pretty high priority.



He's not mental, he's just pathetic like the rest of us.
Socially awkward, virgin, doesn't have a girlfriend, has a fetish for anthropomorphic animals. Doesn't that ring a fucking bell?


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## sethisto (Jul 4, 2009)

Well that is why i posted here ^^ I didn't want to be so blunt about it though.  Furrys are pretty well known for being socially weird.


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## Thatch (Jul 4, 2009)

sethisto said:


> Well that is why i posted here ^^ I didn't want to be so blunt about it though.  Furrys are pretty well known for being socially weird.



Yes. If you also spend too much time on masturbating, you fit into the stereotype perfectly.
If not, you can feel good about that at least.

And the only thing you can really do is to get a grip and put some effort into breaking your inhibitions. At least the most important one, like being too damn shy to finish even while you're winning. That's just BAD. Then gradually go for others. That's the only thing I can advice of right now - don't try to bite too much, you will not handle it.


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## ElizabethAlexandraMary (Jul 4, 2009)

I've been through the exact same shit.
Therapists are complete crap for that (always asking you questions, never providing answers), but normal people aren't much better.

The best thing to do would probably be to try some new stuff, for a change. A big project, anything, whatever. But at szopaw reminds us, don't overdo yourself.


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## Gavrill (Jul 4, 2009)

FrancisBlack said:


> I've been through the exact same shit.
> Therapists are complete crap for that (always asking you questions, never providing answers), but normal people aren't much better.


You obviously haven't seen a _good _therapist.


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## ElizabethAlexandraMary (Jul 4, 2009)

Shenzebo said:


> You obviously haven't seen a _good _therapist.


 He resigned.

Give me one.


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## sethisto (Jul 4, 2009)

szopaw said:


> Yes. If you also spend too much time on masturbating, you fit into the stereotype perfectly.
> If not, you can feel good about that at least.
> 
> And the only thing you can really do is to get a grip and put some effort into breaking your inhibitions. At least the most important one, like being too damn shy to finish even while you're winning. That's just BAD. Then gradually go for others. That's the only thing I can advice of right now - don't try to bite too much, you will not handle it.



See furaffinity did give some good advice ! better than those psychology boards.


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## Gavrill (Jul 4, 2009)

FrancisBlack said:


> He resigned.
> 
> Give me one.


My old psychiatrist. I miss her. She was always giving advice.


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## Thatch (Jul 4, 2009)

sethisto said:


> See furaffinity did give some good advice ! better than those psychology boards.



It's because some people have to cope with their heads by themselves. It gives an opportunity to think about it :V


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## FluffyFloofFloof (Jul 4, 2009)

Shenzebo said:


> You obviously haven't seen a _good _therapist.



...I was going to say, lol.

To OP: I agree with the rest, go see therapist. I don't know your financial backing, but you just said you don't have a job and sit around and do nothing... yet you have the Internet and apparently the funds to spend on games about your invisible dragon girlfriend. I'm assuming a family member supports you? In which case, go to them and talk to them about it. Maybe they'll help out. I know it's a long stretch, since some parents/guardians aren't very understanding, but you never know. 

Also, I have IBS and still manage to be completely social. It *does* make life difficult but it can be handled, if given the chance.



sethisto said:


> See furaffinity did give some good advice ! better than those psychology boards.




...no offense, but it sounds like you're not looking for the right answer but an answer that pleases you. That isn't how seeking advice works.


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## sethisto (Jul 4, 2009)

Well I bought the game a year ago when I had a job, and my parents do pay for the internet, they would never go for a trip to the therapist though.


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## LizardKing (Jul 4, 2009)

*high-fives sethisto*

To hell with getting a girlfriend, just wank to dragoness porn \o.

(BTW you should ttly check out my FA page >_>)


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## sethisto (Jul 4, 2009)

LizardKing said:


> *high-fives sethisto*
> 
> To hell with getting a girlfriend, just wank to dragoness porn \o.
> 
> (BTW you should ttly check out my FA page >_>)



Woo dragons ^^ I shouldn't further my addiction though LoL


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## Thatch (Jul 4, 2009)

Vaporshi said:


> ...no offense, but it sounds like you're not looking for the right answer but an answer that pleases you. That isn't how seeking advice works.



That's the only real advice in this matter. Gather the guts and try to overcome the problem, which is already targeted.

But still, seeing a therapist is good to get directions on how to execute it, that's true.
Not everyone has that comfort, unfortunately.


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## Autolycus (Jul 4, 2009)

i can relate to a few of the topics. like i'm turning 22 in... well a few months and i've never had a girlfriend. my brother has one and to me it seems like he's showin off which tends to really piss me off. i am a fairly new fur but always loved krystal from starfox. about the confidence thing if ur like me you were picked on a lot as a kid which lead you to distrust people and cause paranoia amongst yourself. when it comes to hangin with friends or family i usually put music on and tune everyone out. the thing that has helped me gain a little more confidence than i came from a girl i used ro work with. she once told me i was cuter than her boyfriend and when they broke up and she was fired i asked her out and got stood up. but i still have that confidence she gave me. another thing that boosted that a little was an epiphany. now i'm still lookin for a girl but it's not so easy when you believe your voice is unpleasant. but i'm still optimistic i'll find her and i'm sure it'll happen to you. sorry if i wasn't much help.


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## sethisto (Jul 4, 2009)

Well I guess my main question would be.. What kind of mental illness is this?  Does it sound like assbergers? Am I depressed? I just don't know anything about psychology to even get started on figuring out what to do outside of dropping all of this slowly.  

I just want to give it a name ^^


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## sethisto (Jul 4, 2009)

Autolycus said:


> i can relate to a few of the topics. like i'm turning 22 in... well a few months and i've never had a girlfriend. my brother has one and to me it seems like he's showin off which tends to really piss me off. i am a fairly new fur but always loved krystal from starfox. about the confidence thing if ur like me you were picked on a lot as a kid which lead you to distrust people and cause paranoia amongst yourself. when it comes to hangin with friends or family i usually put music on and tune everyone out. the thing that has helped me gain a little more confidence than i came from a girl i used ro work with. she once told me i was cuter than her boyfriend and when they broke up and she was fired i asked her out and got stood up. but i still have that confidence she gave me. another thing that boosted that a little was an epiphany. now i'm still lookin for a girl but it's not so easy when you believe your voice is unpleasant. but i'm still optimistic i'll find her and i'm sure it'll happen to you. sorry if i wasn't much help.




Oh yah, I do have a really high voice.  Always bugged me.... everyone makes fun of it on ventrilo


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## Autolycus (Jul 4, 2009)

well i studied a little psychology in high school but i really can't give a diagnoses. all i can say is that i study the subject quite often and it doesn't seem like you have a disorder. you don't seem depressed just under confident. and about the voice like i say my voice is unpleasant and my singing is torture . and sorry again if i couldn't help


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## LizardKing (Jul 4, 2009)

sethisto said:


> Well I guess my main question would be.. What kind of mental illness is this?  Does it sound like assbergers? Am I depressed? I just don't know anything about psychology to even get started on figuring out what to do outside of dropping all of this slowly.
> 
> I just want to give it a name ^^



You're a furry.

Sorry.

Now go enjoy some delicious dragoness porn.


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## Autolycus (Jul 4, 2009)

LizardKing said:


> You're a furry.
> 
> Sorry.
> 
> Now go enjoy some delicious dragoness porn.


technically since he has an affinity for a dragon he'd be classified as a scalie. of course i believe we're all the same just have some different tastes.


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## sethisto (Jul 4, 2009)

Well she isn't anthropomorphic ;3


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## LizardKing (Jul 4, 2009)

sethisto said:


> Well she isn't anthropomorphic ;3



Herpetophile then?


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## Autolycus (Jul 4, 2009)

hmmm... so she isn't humanoid? i beleive the term scalie would apply still but i'm not 100% sure on it


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## Autolycus (Jul 4, 2009)

LizardKing said:


> Herpetophile then?


or possibly that


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## FluffyFloofFloof (Jul 4, 2009)

sethisto said:


> Well I guess my main question would be.. What kind of mental illness is this?  Does it sound like assbergers? Am I depressed? I just don't know anything about psychology to even get started on figuring out what to do outside of dropping all of this slowly.
> 
> I just want to give it a name ^^



Noooooo... You can't even _begin_ to speculate on a disorder without getting it checked by a professional who has years of experience behind them. Don't even try. It's just a bad idea all around. Seriously. 

You have done one thing right: You've recognized and accepted that you have a problem and that you're unhappy. Some people don't even reach this stage and just continue to live in some fantasy world in complete and utter denial, even if they're miserable. So kudos to you for that.


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## Autolycus (Jul 4, 2009)

that's what my psych teacher said. we can listen and learn but not offer advice. i try to help out as best as i can without tryin to screw things up


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## sethisto (Jul 4, 2009)

Well I can't upload images for some reason (Keep getting upload failed)

But this would be Cynder

http://i247.photobucket.com/albums/gg156/Sethisto/Cynder2.jpg

Anyway, I guess I will try to see a therapist eventually then.  It's just nice to have others that somewhat relate to me.


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## Autolycus (Jul 4, 2009)

no prollem. seeking some professional help will be a good idea. it is good to find people who you can relate to. hope it all works out and if you need to talk you can contact a lot of us on our FA pages and whatever other contact info we provide.


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## sethisto (Jul 4, 2009)

Thanks ^^

I'll probably keep this alive just because It's nice to find more people to relate to.  I don't really like being alone in being crazy ;p


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## gray_foxor (Jul 4, 2009)

Sorry. I only study psychology as a hobby. Personally I enjoy Freud. He would try to cure you of your furriness.

I would personally say that you need to get out more. Try to relate to people more and interact with them as YOU. Seeing as there are no anthropomorphic dragons in real life, you are fooling yourself into pretending you're something else, or _displacement._ You are afraid of real commitment to a person so you project it onto anthropomorphic dragons. By ridding yourself of any reality in a relationship you are keeping yourself in a permanent state of regression because of your fear of a relationship. For you it may be a bad thing you are a furry as it places you in a position to continue living in a fantasy.

Try not to take the fandom so seriously.


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## sethisto (Jul 4, 2009)

Sorry I went to sleep!

I'm not too into the furry fandom really, Cynder isnt even furry!


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## Kanye East (Jul 4, 2009)

Many local colleges/hospitals may have free psychological counseling you may want to look into. Then all you gotta do is get your tail there. 

I enjoyed psychology in college before I had to drop out temporarily (protip: get health insurance!), but because I'm not a shrink, it would not be appropriate to give advice.  

Comedy option: 1-800 LOVE191. Dr. Drew knows all! Maybe give him a call?


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## Curagnaste (Jul 4, 2009)

Cut your nads off, if you want a less painful solution, I don't have one. I'm studying to be an animal behavioralist, not a human psychologist.


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## Itsuya (Jul 4, 2009)

I'd say do the following. All or maybe even just one. They help.
1) See a therapist
2) See a hyponotist. Sounds weird I know but my mom got me into some weird stuff that helps a persons self esteem and being more talkitive and such.
3) Go to a furcon. Also sounds weird but I was really awkward around people somewhat until I went to a few and really was able to open to to just about anyone eventually and have fun.


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## LucienLupus (Jul 4, 2009)

You just really need to push yourself to be social, humans are social animals, that's half of your problems. If you become social, that might solve the girlfriend problem. I have no clue about the dragon thing though. I would try to stop the dragon obsession little by little. But don't do it cold turkey, or you might wig out,


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## sethisto (Jul 5, 2009)

Yes, I agree that slowly dropping Cynder would be a good plan, seems most people tell me that.


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## Neek0 (Jul 5, 2009)

Im gonna be a big 'ol load of no help, since I myself have MPD [or my school shrink said so] I also cant see real help due to money issues, and i cant get health care because my mother owns too much property. Im anti-social, virgin, and have a strange [well not so much since i found the fandom] obsession with balto and wolves in genral. Best advice I can give is try to go to a furcon, you wont know anyone so you can be yourself, and you may make new friends or even meet a female to, well not replace but share cynders spot in your life.


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## sethisto (Jul 5, 2009)

Neek0 said:


> Im gonna be a big 'ol load of no help, since I myself have MPD [or my school shrink said so] I also cant see real help due to money issues, and i cant get health care because my mother owns too much property. Im anti-social, virgin, and have a strange [well not so much since i found the fandom] obsession with balto and wolves in genral. Best advice I can give is try to go to a furcon, you wont know anyone so you can be yourself, and you may make new friends or even meet a female to, well not replace but share cynders spot in your life.




That would be nice ^^


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## Carenath (Jul 5, 2009)

sethisto said:


> Well she isn't anthropomorphic ;3


Even better :3

I know a number of people that are probably in the same boat as you, but they ended up finding others like themselves and socialise among their own types so to speak.



LizardKing said:


> Herpetophile then?


Dracophile probably..


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## LucienLupus (Jul 5, 2009)

sethisto said:


> Yes, I agree that slowly dropping Cynder would be a good plan, seems most people tell me that.



That's where I would start. And you should really push yourself to become more social, that would be good for you too!


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## Thatch (Jul 5, 2009)

Carenath said:


> I know a number of people that are probably in the same boat as you, but they ended up finding others like themselves and socialise among their own types so to speak.



That certianly doesn't take care of the problem, but allows for at least a little feeling of normality in the meantime.


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## Gnome (Jul 5, 2009)

Issue 1-
accept your not suave and cool. I believe you have social phobias because you see a stereotype of how people are supposed to act/react...cool suave ect. Your trying to fit a mold that you wernt cast from. Act the way you normally would, and if thats shake-y and sweaty so be it, if some one is offend, who cares? And with time you will become used to and numb to social interaction...thus feeling more comfortable and collected.
Also i big step is to try and stop caring what others think of you.
that is important to be happy.

Issue 2-
sorry, your a furry....only lobotomy and shock therapy would help.

Issue 3-
"*Everyone* seems to be out there drinking and having a good time" , refer to issue one, who gives a flying mongoose turd if you not doing what everyone else is.
Be your own man, and have a good time knowing your not a clone.
" I hate parties  (me too, i like small gathering...nothing wrong with that) 
 I usually end up not knowing what to say and just avoiding everyone until I can leave without making a scene
 (again refer to issue 1)". "I'm lonely, and want a girlfriend" , Ah...well there are other places to look.
 "It almost feels like I'm cheating on my invisible girl dragon obsession when I think about going for this" ..........well, image she subordinate to you. IDK that ones got me.
"It's funny, If i'm watching a movie, and some relationship breaks up or something involving 2 people, or one of them dies, i really don't care, and think the movie is boring. But if I put myself and one of my dragons in that picture, suddenly I can relate! I'd hate to lose them! " ....refer to issue 2
"I also have a lot of random medical issues that keep me from doing things sometimes. Everything from irritable bowel syndrome, to overactive bladder. "...your a bundle of nerves beacuse of issue 1 and wanting to be a thing/stereotype/person/ect that your not.

I recommend going on a trip of personal self discovery.
get enough funds to do a road trip for at leas 3 weeks and just go
no directions no expectations, just go and see what comes up


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## sethisto (Jul 5, 2009)

Gnome said:


> I recommend going on a trip of personal self discovery.
> get enough funds to do a road trip for at leas 3 weeks and just go
> no directions no expectations, just go and see what comes up



I've always considered that.  It sounds like it would be an interesting experience.  I always hear of people driving from arizona to the edge of south america, and having amazing experiences with it (and dangerous ones, I probably wouldn't do that lol).


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## blackfuredfox (Jul 5, 2009)

you are not alone, tell me about when you were 15, my age so i know what to expect or if i am rapidly advancing in the same situation as you. i myself used to obssed with Krystal but gradually made my own character and now obsses over her in my mind, same as you except anthro. and if you do road trip and need a traveling companion look me up.


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## sethisto (Jul 6, 2009)

Hmm, I'd run while you can ;3  At least you have some warning!


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## blackfuredfox (Jul 6, 2009)

sethisto said:


> Hmm, I'd run while you can ;3  At least you have some warning!



where to?


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## sethisto (Jul 6, 2009)

Thats what im trying to figure out!


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## blackfuredfox (Jul 6, 2009)

sethisto said:


> Thats what im trying to figure out!



why run then? why not deal with it, its only a problem if you see it as one, you are your own person i have burned into my mind i cant lead, hopefully you havent.


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## sethisto (Jul 7, 2009)

It turns into a problem eventually.  I really didnt care when I was 15 either, but once you hit 20.. its starts to eat at yah.


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## LizardKing (Jul 7, 2009)

sethisto said:


> It turns into a problem eventually.  I really didnt care when I was 15 either, but once you hit 20.. its starts to eat at yah.



Try 26.

Apathy, I choose you!


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## Sparticle (Jul 7, 2009)

Im 16 and its like looking in a mirror except for the dragon bit.


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## sethisto (Jul 8, 2009)

Sorry I've been gone ;p 

Well it's good to know there are others out there like me, but i'd still try to fix it before you hit 20 ;p


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## Torrijos-sama (Jul 9, 2009)

You suffer from Social Ineptitude, and the Internet.


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## Bacu (Jul 9, 2009)

jesusfish2007 said:


> You suffer from Social Ineptitude, and the Internet.


I read about the internet on Wikipedia. I think I might have it.


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## sethisto (Jul 9, 2009)

The internet caused all my problems, I actually believe it :3


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## Mojotaian (Jan 17, 2010)

You've spent too much time dreaming about things that don't exist
You've spent too much time playing games
You've spent too much time fawning over things you can't have
You've spent too much time on the internet
You've spent too much time without a job, get one
You've spent too much time away from other people, be with people
You've spent too much time on this post


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## Thatch (Jan 17, 2010)

WOO NECRO! LET'S PARTY!


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## LizardKing (Jan 17, 2010)

SING THE BUMP SONG

I SAID A BUMP BUMP BUMP

NECRO TO THE MAX


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## Thatch (Jan 17, 2010)

LizardKing said:


> NECRO TO THE MAX



THIS IS APPROPRIATE!


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## Sparticle (Jan 17, 2010)

sethisto said:


> Sorry if this is long, but I gave up on psychology forums lol.  Maybe a furry might know something more on what exactly is my crazyness?
> 
> 
> So I'll start off by saying i've always had low confidence.  I'm 21 years old.  From grade school to now I never had much self confidence at all. During P.E. I'd stand in places where I knew I wouldn't have to catch the ball, and avoid competition like the plague if I could help it. I quit when I'm winning, because I know I'm going to screw up eventually and prefer to leave a winner than a loser.
> ...



I have the same problem and i'm currently getting help. Look up cognitive behavior therapy and graded exposure, they're currently working well with me maybe they could help you too. 
Can't say much about the other issues though. + Wow I posted on this months ago.... it's like a time capsule.


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## Foxstar (Jan 17, 2010)

OP needs to get off the internet, get a job and go pay for a shrink and stop seeking advice from furries.


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## ElizabethAlexandraMary (Jan 17, 2010)

Whoa I really don't remember posting on here.
At least I'm pretty sure I never had a crush on imaginary characters so. (Jasper still does not count.)


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## Thatch (Jan 17, 2010)

ITT: People who can't read post dates despite former posters' CAPS NECRO SHOUTOUTS.


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## ElizabethAlexandraMary (Jan 17, 2010)

szopaw said:


> ITT: People who can't read post dates despite former posters' CAPS NECRO SHOUTOUTS.


 Yeah but I mean, we can still discuss the thing.
And lol.
Shit idk.


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## PheonixStar (Jan 17, 2010)

Go get a job. You have no business thinking about having a girlfriend until you've got a job anyway. What would you do with a girlfriend, anyway? "Oh, hai honey, come look at my Cynder pics with moi! She's so hawt!"?

So getting a girlfriend right now is the least of your worries, you've not only not got the mental time for one, but you also can't afford one.


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## ChickO'Dee (Jan 17, 2010)

sethisto said:


> Sorry if this is long, but I gave up on psychology forums lol.  Maybe a furry might know something more on what exactly is my crazyness?
> 
> 
> So I'll start off by saying i've always had low confidence.  I'm 21 years old.  From grade school to now I never had much self confidence at all. During P.E. I'd stand in places where I knew I wouldn't have to catch the ball, and avoid competition like the plague if I could help it. I quit when I'm winning, because I know I'm going to screw up eventually and prefer to leave a winner than a loser.
> ...



im going to start of by saying, if you're over 18, there are places you can get a few free therapy sessions if you go there. 

but, the way i see this is, you do need professional help. but ive kinda been in your shoes. you have no confidence, therefor you push yourself into your little fantasy world were everything you do is right, and everything is perfect, were you dont need confidence and all that. im actually a bit at a loss for this one, but i have a suggestion. take away all the pictures on your wall, your computer, all of that. start replacing those with other things you like. you say you play video games, start putting up pictures of halo or whatever games it is you play instead. try to focus on the day to day things, in reality. "the sun is bright today...i have to feed my dog.. ok. work. push button...file papers" ect. hang out with your friends more. i know, im the same way, i hate talking on the phone, and im too goddamn lazy or just dont feel like going out anywhere, but once you finnally get out, you'll have fun. trust me  i hope that helps at least a little.


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## Thatch (Jan 17, 2010)

Sparticle said:


> Subject 1.





PheonixStar said:


> Subject 2.





Sparticle said:


> Subject 3.



You all of course realise this is over 6 months old, and even if the OP reads it, it's no longer valid?


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## Nargle (Jan 17, 2010)

Am I allowed to post even though this is a necro thread? I have advice, lol! X3 I think this guy is still hanging around these forums, so maybe he'll see it if he wants my advice.

I'm not going to suggest that you go get a job (Though it would be a good idea) or keep socializing with your friends because that's obviously not working. I also don't see how having some crappy job to dread is going to make you any more confident, either.

I have a question, though. Do you have any artistic talent? The first thing I thought of, was that you should channel your obsession into something useful. Like making and selling dragon-related artwork. If you can make things like candle holders and incense burners, that's excellent. Channel all of that obsession into making cute female dragon crafts. Trust me, crafts aren't hard to make if you just keep it simple and be creative. Keep them clean and family friendly, though, because now you need to take that new hobby, and start going to craft shows, ren faires, cons, flea markets etc. and become a merchant. That way, you'll have a little bit of money coming in (People love dragon nic-nacks, trust me. Especially cute ones.) and you'll have an opportunity to go to a busy place and socialize with others that have similar interests with you. Personally, I think going to parties with alcohol and friends you have nothing in common with making out with their girlfriends.. is a very negative form of socialization. At least for you. I personally wouldn't be too interested either. I go to places like dog parks to socialize, and I'm not a big drinker. Also, I think you should stop worrying about getting a girlfriend. Personally, I think worrying about getting into a relationship is the LAST thing you should do if you actually want to get into a relationship. Just focus on socializing and building up your confidence, and worrying about making YOURSELF whole and content, and love will happen! That's exactly what love does, it _just happens_. Like a butterfly fluttering away when you chase it, and landing on your hand while you're not looking (lol cliche). And trust me, one of these days a girl will come along that'll make you think "Cynder who?"


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## Irreverent (Jan 17, 2010)

massive necro lock!


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