# Greetings! Shameless plugging ahead.



## Naota (Jan 7, 2008)

Hi. Naota Minomura here, just stumbled upon this friendly writer's circle. A lot of talented peeps here, so I thought I'd say hi....swiftly followed by spineless begging for cirtique and exposure. I know there's already a thread for this, and this one will probably die quickly, but I guess I felt like introducing myself and laying out my current projects, try to build up some interest among my more talented peers.

http://www.furaffinity.net/user/naota

As far as critique goes, I think I'm learning the tricks for mood and pacing. What I'm worried about is technical things, like language and imagery, sentence length, that sort of thing. I rarely get any feed back, so it'd mean a great deal to me. Word of warning: My earliest writing has some fairly obvious amatuer mistakes and weird ideas I've since dropped(links to inspirational music, attempting different languages), so hopefully you can stomach the early stuff. You have to write your worst before you write your best. 

Current projects:

Baroque Symphony - What do you get when you take a lazy, apperantly superpowered fox, his buff ex's, a self-proclaimed master theif, a couple of awol supersoldiers, a gang of rambunctious orphans, a therapist, and a very suspicious hotel owner and send them on a epic journey across the surreal dreamworld they call home, packed with just about every weird idea, anime reference, and kooky premise packed into my tiny head?

Well, something that'll no doubt take me forever to complete. Ya know how some furry authors have this big, ambitious story/comic project they hope'll make them famous? :wink:

Well, this is mine. 20 continents, 750(!) characters, no yiff, language and lots of drama, comedy, action and general weirdness spread over three years of plot.

Wish me luck. 

Several chapters posted, plan to redo.

Enka- A very dark and depressing werewolf story. It is 1986 in the Altai Mountains, Russia. The mythical werewolf is a forlorn creature that was shunned into the shadows by humans eons ago, and their numbers have dwindled drastically, hunted to near-extinction over generations by the descendants of The Seven Knights, family lines that have inherited amazing abilities to give them the edge in the hunt.

A teenage werewolf, Zeppe, is on his way to a family reunion deep in the mountains, unaware that he and his clan, the last remaining pack, are being hunted. But the wolf is a proud beast, and Zeppe intends to fight back, with a little help from on high.

Can't spoil too much. Think Romeo and Juliet with werewolves, throw in some Snow White references, and make the star-crossed ex-lovers want to kill each other.

Prologue and first chapter posted.

Last Blue - A gift fanfiction for a beloved furry friend and his mate. 

Somewhere in a forsaken world, an arid world where all but the most resilient lifeforms have vanished from existence, there exists a paradise called Finatl, where verdant fields and forests mingle with pure waters and calm skies. The paradise is soon tainted by a group of invaders who drain a precious element from the radiant lands, leaving them to wither and die in their wake. A certain warrior from the paradise takes it upon himself to pursue them and undo the damge done to his world, but he may not be prepared for their's.

Prologue posted.


What's in the World? - The fennec-like Mamoru is returning to his beloved kindom from yet another journey, determined to carry on his family's legacy and chart out all the unknown lands and wonders of the flat world of Seteva, and now has his eye set on the ultimate legend, Arcadia, realm of the gods, rumored to be sleeping under neath the world.

The newly-crowned Queen Vivian, however, is overwhelmed with her new duties and is in no mood for his annoying enthusiam and hairbrained superstitions. His father charted most of the remaining lands, after all. Naturally, funding for another voyage, for an ancient myth no less, is out of the question. 

Things start to look up for poor Mamoru when he meets a human waif named Labi, who he believes holds the key to surviving the trip to Arcadia. And then things get sort of complicated...

Prologue posted.

Sickness Unto Death Note: A Death Note(anime/manga) fanfiction in which I blantantly insert myself as a hacker determined to defeat Kira after learning of L's death. The tricky part is, I have a Death Note as well, and of all the thirty names written in it, not a single one has actually died.

First order of business, investigate the only firm suspects in the case's long history: Misa Amane and Light Yagami.

My Own Napple Tale - A charming little Dreamcast game only released in Japan that caught my attention by way of it's wonderfully evocative soundtrack, courtesy of my inspirational idol and musical goddess, Yoko Kanno. 

Having never played it myself, I decided to try crafting my own version of the story, imagining everything using only the music.

The story? Well, a family of artists, mother, father, and daughter, have a pleasant picnic in The Black Forest of Germany when they find themselves lured, by way of Frankensteinish patchwork dog, into the World of the Dead, a much more colorful, friendly place than one would expect from the afterlife. 

If they hope to get back to the World of the Living, they must travel across the four season-sides to reach the only known portal that leads there. Trouble is, one week in Dead land is a year in Life land, the seasons passing with each two netherworld days.

What else, what else? Well, with dancing flowers, malevolent wind-up rats, greedy water dragons, an odd take on the kitsune legend and enormous, insomniac serpents, expect a Wonderland vibe.

Lens of Truth - A group of short stories following a mystical artifact known as the Lens of Truth, an eyepiece traveling through time and space to appear among whomever it chooses, showing them the underlying truth beyond what they can see with the naked eye. Just what kind of truth the lens shows is different with each user, seemingly at it's whim, and it's abilities affect peoples' lives in all manner of ways.

Blessed Be - Somewhere, in the vast, empty void of space, it approaches. It looms, growing, thinking, studying. Though still very distant, it already has its sights set upon us, sending bits and pieces of itself to learn and observe. Helping it prepare for it's imminent arrival.

Sorry for the shameless advertising, and thank you for your time.


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## twilightiger (Jan 10, 2008)

Technical language? You mean like syntax? The form, function and use of a language's rules and application?


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## Naota (Jan 11, 2008)

twilightiger said:
			
		

> Technical language? You mean like syntax? The form, function and use of a language's rules and application?



Yeah, mostly that. I'd also like feedback on how I can establish moods and characters better.


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## twilightiger (Jan 12, 2008)

Well, for syntax. Knowing a bit about etymolgy will help. Modern english uses a lot of loan words. So if you understand where those words come from its easier to apply them to your writing.
Latin is multi-syllable words. 
German is hard short words. 
French is anything with soft accents where a vowel or consonant is sometimes omitted. The diffrence between "ma belle peche" and "you make me feel like such a Peche" for example. I can't exactly accent them but when pronounced properly one means 'sin' the other 'peach' (Sort of like when you drop the i and u from most japanese words)
There are a lot more languages blended in as well. So, if you want to increase your knowledge of the english syntax, it's good to know a lot of root words.
Since we've got a lot of foreign words. (and I hesitate to use the word foreign. We're borrowing from them not the other way round) all mixed in with modern english they've lost most of their original pronunciations anyway. Most words shouldn't even be pronounced phonetically, think tonal. All words start somewhere around the throat, tongue, mouth or nose. Old english is entirely different from modern english. Think shakespeare if you want an example. He wrote in iambic meter. Every sentence had five legs and five feet. Or ten syllables if you want to cheat.
That's some of the basics of linguistics. (When I'm not writing I'm studying to be a translator. Both active and passive in japanese. Now that language has a remarkable syntax)   

As for establishing mood. Hmm, what are some good ways to do that. . .
Objects have personalities as well. We ascribe all sorts of emotions to everyday things like.
The rain beat down with a steady staccato rythm, its sad pace belied the warmth of the sun just beyond the horizon.
I've made the point of view the 'rain' now I just need to add a character and how they feel about it.
A character's emotions also work well.
Hating his own weakness, he viewed the world through a hazy veil of tears. As something infinitely precious, and irreplaceable. Broke. (I used that in king me. sorry for the plug but I know my own work better than anyone else's)
Even picking a setting can help. Take a mall for example. Be a passive observer for a moment and watch people going about their business. Are they in a rush, are they taking time to enjoy the scenery. Say for example, narrative voice: It was only five minutes untill closing. Everyone was in a rush to get home. 
The general mood in the store might be down right frantic. But you could have a character moving at their own sedate pace, oblivious to the hectic mayhem occuring around them. Course, it helps to give them a reason for acting contrary to everyone else.  
There are tons of excersises for developing characters. People even pay to go to workshops to learn how to create convincing ones. That fact alone baffles me. All you really need to do is create a pyschological profile. Yeah, pysch profiling, that's some FBI style thinking right there, but trust me, it works.
Most writer's create a bio for their characters. A handy guide that keeps the little details in check. Eye color, height, stuff like that. Now take it a step further. Favorite food, common gestures, ticks, quirk, idiosyncracies. Now were getting into a character's head. Since this is a furry site most gestures common to animals are often observed. His tail twitched, his ears lay back. Simple stuff like, do they chew their nails, add a dimension of depth to a character. No one stands like a statue while they talk. Well, they can. But at least make it sound interesting. Posture is often observed when adding context to a conversation.
This is all exterior though. To help create convincing characters interior knowledge of their personality is key. 
You need to ask them a few simple questions in order to achieve this.
What do they love?
What do they hate?
What do they fear?
These are just the basics. Character motivation is a complex series of interwoven responses to these three questions. There are a lot more but it would take hours just to list them all.
My personal favorite. Why do they fight? Since conflict is the heart of any great story knowing the answer is like having a re son detre.
Hope that helps.


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## Naota (Jan 14, 2008)

twilightiger said:
			
		

> Well, for syntax. Knowing a bit about etymolgy will help. Modern english uses a lot of loan words. So if you understand where those words come from its easier to apply them to your writing.
> Latin is multi-syllable words.
> German is hard short words.
> French is anything with soft accents where a vowel or consonant is sometimes omitted. The diffrence between "ma belle peche" and "you make me feel like such a Peche" for example. I can't exactly accent them but when pronounced properly one means 'sin' the other 'peach' (Sort of like when you drop the i and u from most japanese words)
> ...




Thanks, though I had more hands-on crits from actually reviewing my work in mind.


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## twilightiger (Jan 15, 2008)

Well, if you wanted me to do that, why didn't you say so? But seeing as you just did. I think I can take some time to read through a few. 
I'll warn you in advance, (And here's where I begin to shatter the illusion of my mystique)I've never actually critiqued something before. I prefer to enjoy a story rather than pull it apart. See where it works and learn from it. Hence the reason why I offered advice. I would never dream of walking up to another author and saying 'You should have writen it this way' I can't do that because style is something as unique as a fingerprint. Everyone's is diffrent. 
Since writing follows its own rules, its own patterns. There's no magic formula that makes it good. I wish there was. It would make my life a hell of a lot easier. 
But If you're interested in the technical side of things i.e. Iceberg writing, escalation effect, statement of fact. Some of the rules all "technically" good writing follows that I can help you with. Those I know. 
The 'art' of it, the passion to create, that gives rise to heros, their myths and their legends. The essential something that turns mere words on a page into a masterpeice of art and literature. That's something only you can decide for yourself. No one else can tell you whether something is 'good' or not. Consensus isn't fact. It's merely a group of people (usually idiots) agreeing with each other. I ask people all the time 'What do you think of this paragraph?' The usual response 'Sounds good' Makes me want to scream. But thats context for you. They're only seeing a small piece of a much larger puzzle. I get to peek at the box.
Great, now I'm a believer in that stupid 'never show someone anything until its done' rule. 
Still, remember the prime rule: Write for yourself first. For everyone else, they get the privilege of reading your work. Aren't they lucky?
(Plus, lots of mind numbing practice helps. The only way to learn what does work is by learning what doesn't. I write a minimum of 2000 words a day. Just like stephen king does. Sometimes its 5000 but then I'm just going nuts on multiple projects)
I think that was my first rant. spooky.


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