# Corrupt-A-Wish Resurrected



## JynxLynx (May 12, 2016)

Since we don't have a forum games board anymore (coughcough) I'm sure it's not completely unreasonable to have at least one game in General Discussions. I remember the old post having probably 50-70 pages. :'^)
Most of you know how to play, but I'll describe it anyway:
The user above you makes a wish. It is your job to grant it but to twist it so it has a negative impact. Then, you make a wish and the person below corrupts it, and so on. For example,
"I wish for ice cream."
"Granted. Your ice cream is melted and poisoned."
I'll start us off!~
I wish I could fly.


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## reptile logic (May 12, 2016)

Granted. Your flight ceiling leaves your toes dragging on the ground.

I wish I had time, and money.

Edit: Phone call...too slow on the wish!


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## Mercuss (May 12, 2016)

Your wish is granted! Your wings are made out of paper.

My wish is to have a new mattress.


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## JynxLynx (May 12, 2016)

Mercuss said:


> Your wish is granted! Your wings are made out of paper.
> 
> My wish is to have a new mattress.


Granted. It's stone.
I wish for a puppy.


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## Mercuss (May 12, 2016)

JynxLynx said:


> Granted. It's stone.
> I wish for a puppy.



Granted! It is hairless.
My wish: to never get exhausted from heat. (Then I could fursuit everywhere! If I HAD a fursuit...)


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## reptile logic (May 12, 2016)

Granted. Welcome to the new ice age.

I wish for a new pair of boots.


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## Azrion/Zhalo (May 12, 2016)

reptile logic said:


> Granted. Welcome to the new ice age.
> 
> I wish for a new pair of boots.


Granted. Your boots are the bloody corpses of dead fuzzy bunnies.

I wish for lots of monie


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## All#the#fuR (May 12, 2016)

Azrion/Zhalo said:


> Granted. Your boots are the bloody corpses of dead fuzzy bunnies.
> 
> I wish for lots of monie



You get that... A uhhh... A chiefly Scottish variant of many(?)

I wish I could play Overwatch now instead of waiting.


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## JynxLynx (May 12, 2016)

Granted. It crashes every time you try to load it.
I wish for talent.


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## Maximus B. Panda (May 12, 2016)

JynxLynx said:


> Granted. It crashes every time you try to load it.
> I wish for talent.


You become talented......at working as a prostitute.

I wish to be immortal, the kind where I don't ever physically age.


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## Azrion/Zhalo (May 12, 2016)

Maximor_Bloodpanda said:


> You become talented......at working as a prostitute.
> 
> I wish to be immortal, the kind where I don't ever physically age.


Granted. You will have a coma for the rest of your life.

I wish for a guitar.


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## Maximus B. Panda (May 12, 2016)

Azrion/Zhalo said:


> Granted. You will have a coma for the rest of your life.


(Holy shit, that is brutal! I was expecting something like outliving loved ones and working for the rest of my life, but this is even better. I like your style!)


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## Mercuss (May 12, 2016)

Azrion/Zhalo said:


> I wish for a guitar.



Granted! Your guitar's strings are made with barbed wire 

My wish is to have free unlimited first class airline flights.


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## Simo (May 12, 2016)

Granted! But only to Syria and North Korea. One Way.

I wish skunks like me ruled the world!


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## reptile logic (May 13, 2016)

Granted. Your sense of smell has increased tenfold.

I wish for a tropical island.


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## Azrion/Zhalo (May 13, 2016)

reptile logic said:


> Granted. Your sense of smell has increased tenfold.
> 
> I wish for a tropical island.


Granted. Tropical Island has cannibalistic midgets.

I wish for a unopened can of Mountain Dew.


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## reptile logic (May 13, 2016)

Granted. You open your can and out comes a mountain of doo.

I wish for a bucket of fried chicken.


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## Kitsune633 (May 13, 2016)

reptile logic said:


> Granted. You open your can and out comes a mountain of doo.
> 
> I wish for a bucket of fried chicken.




Granted. The meat is infected with all the diseases known to man.

I wish I were a Probation Officer.


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## ZacAttackk (May 13, 2016)

Kitsune633 said:


> Granted. The meat is infected with all the diseases known to man.
> 
> I wish I were a Probation Officer.



Granted, but you have 35 hour shifts.

I wish for a hug.


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## Luku_Zuku (May 13, 2016)

Granted, but the hugger has several spines, like a cactus.

I wish for a better phone


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## TheMintyBun (May 13, 2016)

Granted, however the screen's colors are always in negative.

I wish for better eyesight.


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## Azrion/Zhalo (May 13, 2016)

TheMintyBun said:


> Granted, however the screen's colors are always in negative.
> 
> I wish for better eyesight.


Granted. You can now witness your loved ones be murdered in front of you...

I wish for peace.


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## Mercuss (May 13, 2016)

Luku_Zuku said:


> Granted, but the hugger has several spines, like a cactus.
> 
> I wish for a better phone



Granted. Your old phone was a rock so now you get a potato.

My wish is to have incredible drawing and painting skills.


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## Luku_Zuku (May 13, 2016)

Mercuss said:


> Granted. Your old phone was a rock so now you get a potato.
> 
> My wish is to have incredible drawing and painting skills.


Granted. You can only use your skills to draw sparkledogs 

I wish I can stab people who piss me off without lawful consequence.


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## Simo (May 13, 2016)

Granted! But only with a butter-knife, and they get really angry, and give you two black eyes, and a fat lip-without lawful consequences.

I wish all dogs, foxes and wolves were transformed into prancing, dancing, sparkle-dogs, who peed rainbows.


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## Mercuss (May 13, 2016)

Simo said:


> Granted! But only with a butter-knife, and they get really angry, and give you two black eyes, and a fat lip-without lawful consequences.
> 
> I wish all dogs, foxes and wolves were transformed into prancing, dancing, sparkle-dogs, who peed rainbows.



Granted. They will all be diagnosed with rabies.

My wish is to have a bunch of gold ore veins in my backyard.


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## Simo (May 13, 2016)

Granted! But at the same time, so does everybody else on earth, so that gold is no more valuable than a common stone.

I wish I could take a month long vacation to Madagascar.


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## Mercuss (May 13, 2016)

Simo said:


> Granted! But at the same time, so does everybody else on earth, so that gold is no more valuable than a common stone.
> 
> I wish I could take a month long vacation to Madagascar.



You have a inner-tube to return home.

I wish i had unlimited 1tbps internet that never goes down.


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## Yukkie (May 13, 2016)

Simo said:


> Granted! But at the same time, so does everybody else on earth, so that gold is no more valuable than a common stone.
> 
> I wish I could take a month long vacation to Madagascar.



Granted. But your vacation consists of camping in the middle of nowhere, and eating bugs to survive.

I wish I could eat endlessly without gaining any weight.


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## Yukkie (May 13, 2016)

( Oh. )
( Hooray for being late. \o/ )


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## Simo (May 13, 2016)

Edit:

Oooops!

Granted! But a weird new virus from space makes all food become moldy as soon as you ut it in your mouth.

I wish I could go on a long dog-sledding/camping trip, up in Alaska.


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## RinkuTheRuffian (May 13, 2016)

Granted, but you end up landing yourself on Shadow Moses Island, surrounded by guards. (Please get the reference.)
I wish I had a house on a nice lake.


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## Mercuss (May 13, 2016)

Simo said:


> Granted! But electricity suddenly costs a minimum of $100/day to use.



(*buys solar panels* THUG LYFE)


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## Yukkie (May 13, 2016)

RinkuTheRuffian said:


> Granted, but you end up landing yourself on Shadow Moses Island, surrounded by guards. (Please get the reference.)
> I wish I had a house on a nice lake.



Granted. The lake is a salt lake infested with sharks.

I wish for a toilet made of gold.


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## Simo (May 13, 2016)

Yukkie said:


> Granted. The lake is a salt lake infested with sharks.
> 
> I wish for a toilet made of gold.




Granted. But Donald Trump is always seated upon it, bossing you around, in a frumpy bathrobe.

I wish everyone had to wear fursuits as school uniforms.


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## RinkuTheRuffian (May 13, 2016)

Simo said:


> Granted. But Donald Trump is always seated upon it, bossing you around, in a frumpy bathrobe.
> 
> I wish everyone had to wear fursuits as school uniforms.


Granted, but everyone's still pissed about it.

I wish I could understand animals.


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## Yukkie (May 13, 2016)

RinkuTheRuffian said:


> Granted, but everyone's still pissed about it.
> 
> I wish I could understand animals.



Granted. They all hate you.

I wish I had an endless supply of chocolate.


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## Simo (May 13, 2016)

Granted, but you gain 1,000 pounds, and need to be removed from your house with a crane.

I wish I had a watermelon farm.


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## shapeless0ne (May 13, 2016)

granted but all the watermelons are toxic due to soil pollution. 

I wish I could shape shift into any anthro animal I want.


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## Mercuss (May 13, 2016)

shapeless0ne said:


> granted but all the watermelons are toxic due to soil pollution.
> 
> I wish I could shape shift into any anthro animal I want.


Granted. You would be at area 51 for the rest of you life for testing.

My wish is to have immunity to disease


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## shapeless0ne (May 13, 2016)

Mercuss said:


> Granted. You would be at area 51 for the rest of you life for testing.
> 
> My wish is to have immunity to disease


granted but now everything tastes sour to you.

I wish that all foxes in the fandom to become avians.


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## Yukkie (May 13, 2016)

shapeless0ne said:


> granted but now everything tastes sour to you.
> 
> I wish that all foxes in the fandom to become avians.



Granted. Avians take over the world.

I wish I had long hair.


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## reptile logic (May 13, 2016)

Granted, dumpster diving is free!

I wish for a cabin in the woods.


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## shapeless0ne (May 13, 2016)

Yukkie said:


> Granted. Avians take over the world.
> 
> I wish I had long hair.


but, I wouldn't see avians taking over world as a bad thing.....


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## shapeless0ne (May 13, 2016)

reptile logic said:


> Granted, dumpster diving is free!
> 
> I wish for a cabin in the woods.


granted. but the cabin is hunted and every night you hear the screams of an entire family being butchered over and over again.
I wish for the next elder scrolls game to come out next month.


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## Yukkie (May 13, 2016)

shapeless0ne said:


> granted. but the cabin is hunted and every night you hear the screams of an entire family being butchered over and over again.
> I wish for the next elder scrolls game to come out next month.



Granted. It comes out, but gives everyone viruses. 

I wish I owned a mansion.


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## shapeless0ne (May 13, 2016)

granted, but it's a old mansion on a island , right next to a petroleum refinery.

I wish I could stop changing fursonas.


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## shapeless0ne (May 13, 2016)

hmm, better fix this one.
granted, but now I'm stuck with a gloom dog fursona.
I wish I had a coffee farm, so I can have my coffee for free.


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## Yukkie (May 13, 2016)

shapeless0ne said:


> hmm, better fix this one.
> granted, but now I'm stuck with a gloom dog fursona.
> I wish I had a coffee farm, so I can have my coffee for free.



The farm is filled with your most hated coffee.

I wish I could read minds.


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## Kioskask (May 13, 2016)

Yukkie said:


> The farm is filled with your most hated coffee.
> 
> I wish I could read minds.


Granted. You read someones mind and see something you really didn't want to see.

I wish I could breath underwater.


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## Mercuss (May 13, 2016)

Wish granted. You can ONLY breathe underwater now. Only freshwater.

My wish is to have my house remodeled.


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## Simo (May 13, 2016)

Mercuss said:


> Wish granted. You can ONLY breathe underwater now. Only freshwater.
> 
> My wish is to have my house remodeled.



Granted! It gets remodeled such that all the rooms are now only half their former size, and all the walls are day-glo colors, and the ceilings are all glitter, with dirt floors, and no windows.

I wish anyone who played any team sport in the US: in school, college, or professionally, had to wear curetsy My Little Pony themed uniforms, and strong. perfumes that smelled like flowers.


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## shapeless0ne (May 14, 2016)

Simo said:


> Granted! It gets remodeled such that all the rooms are now only half their former size, and all the walls are day-glo colors, and the ceilings are all glitter, with dirt floors, and no windows.
> 
> I wish anyone who played any team sport in the US: in school, college, or professionally, had to wear curetsy My Little Pony themed uniforms, and strong. perfumes that smelled like flowers.


granted, but all those people become bronies, and all come to this this fandom bringing with them with crappy art, (that mostly looks like it was done on windows paint) creepy fursonas, and worse yet MLP porn.

I wish I could understand animals.


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## TheMintyBun (May 14, 2016)

shapeless0ne said:


> granted, but all those people become bronies, and flood this fandom with crappy art, (that mostly looks like it was done on windows paint) creepy fursonas, and worse yet MLP porn.
> 
> I wish I could understand animals.



Granted, You can only understand them, they cant understand you.

I wish I was a cyborg


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## shapeless0ne (May 14, 2016)

TheMintyBun said:


> Granted, You can only understand them, they cant understand you.
> 
> I wish I was a cyborg


granted. but you overheat within 2 hours of being online, and have to power off for 22 hours in order to cool off.

I wish I had a burrito.


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## Yukkie (May 14, 2016)

shapeless0ne said:


> granted. but you overheat within 2 hours of being online, and have to power off for 22 hours in order to cool off.
> 
> I wish I had a burrito.



Granted, and your burrito is filled with bugs. 

I wish I could catch _all _the pokemons.


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## Luku_Zuku (May 14, 2016)

Yukkie said:


> Granted, and your burrito is filled with bugs.
> 
> I wish I could catch _all _the pokemons.


Granted. They all can only learn the move splash, regardless of their type.

I wish I could talk to my friends more.


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## Yukkie (May 14, 2016)

Luku_Zuku said:


> Granted. They all can only learn the move splash, regardless of their type.



((THE HORRORRRR))


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## TheMintyBun (May 14, 2016)

Luku_Zuku said:


> Granted. They all can only learn the move splash, regardless of their type.
> 
> I wish I could talk to my friends more.



Granted, however they all speak only in  russian now.

I wish that I had a better computer.


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## Yukkie (May 14, 2016)

TheMintyBun said:


> Granted, however they all speak only in  russian now.
> 
> I wish that I had a better computer.



Granted. It looks nicer, but it takes at least an hour to open up a small jpg file. 

I wish for a cleaning lady.


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## Simo (May 14, 2016)

Granted! She cleans you out of everything you own, then disappears.

I wish that an army of 1,000,000 cute, fluffy fox fursuiters would run around, constantly hugging everyone in the US.


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## Mercuss (May 14, 2016)

Simo said:


> Granted! She cleans you out of everything you own, then disappears.
> 
> I wish that an army of 1,000,000 cute, fluffy fox fursuiters would run around, constantly hugging everyone in the US.



Little did you know, they hugged too strongly, thus destroying America like a zombie apocalypse.

I wish my vacation would start sooner.


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## TheMintyBun (May 14, 2016)

Mercuss said:


> Little did you know, they hugged too strongly, thus destroying America like a zombie apocalypse.
> 
> I wish my vacation would start sooner.




Granted, however you must spend it playing superman 64

I wish that jontron would make more videos.


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## Jin-Lust-4-Sin (May 14, 2016)

TheMintyBun said:


> Granted, however you must spend it playing superman 64
> 
> I wish that jontron would make more videos.


Granted, but his videos are restricted from your country.

I wish I were an anthro~


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## Yukkie (May 14, 2016)

Jin-Lust-4-Sin said:


> Granted, but his videos are restricted from your country.
> 
> I wish I were an anthro~



Granted. You had to go through intense torture and surgery to become one.

I wish I could have some chocolate cake.


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## Yukkie (May 14, 2016)

Jin-Lust-4-Sin said:


> it's soft, and literally looks like a pile of sh** (so sorry XD )



(( (  ಠ_ಠ) ))


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## Jin-Lust-4-Sin (May 14, 2016)

Yukkie said:


> (( (  ಠ_ಠ) ))


(I'm so sorry...)


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## Jin-Lust-4-Sin (May 14, 2016)

Yukkie said:


> (( (  ಠ_ಠ) ))


((Hope you're not mad of me...))


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## Yukkie (May 14, 2016)

Jin-Lust-4-Sin said:


> ((Hope you're not mad of me...))



(( xD it's fine. Dw. ))


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## Jin-Lust-4-Sin (May 14, 2016)

Yukkie said:


> (( xD it's fine. Dw. ))


((You had me worried sick there until I got your reply... goodness me, I'm an @$$hole))


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## shapeless0ne (May 14, 2016)

Yukkie said:


> Granted. You had to go through intense torture and surgery to become one.
> 
> I wish I could have some chocolate cake.


granted, but your cake tastes like plastic and some cheep icing.

I wish I could become an anthro too.


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## shapeless0ne (May 14, 2016)

Kioskask said:


> Granted, but you now have a life span of 6 months.
> 
> I wish houses were not so damn expensive around here (London).


granted, but now all houses only have one small room where you eat sleep and even well.... you get the point.

I wish there was less people with wolf fursonas.


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## Luku_Zuku (May 14, 2016)

Kioskask said:


> Granted, but you still haven't gotten rid of me
> 
> I wish there was no rude people on this planet.


Granted, but now everyone is annoyingly nice to everyone, and you want to stab them because of it.

I wish I had more time in the day


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## shapeless0ne (May 14, 2016)

Luku_Zuku said:


> Granted, but now everyone is annoyingly nice to everyone, and you want to stab them because of it.
> 
> I wish I had more time in the day


granted, but now your stuck in a time paradox forever repeating your day.

I wish we could stop destroying nature.


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## Azrion/Zhalo (May 14, 2016)

Kioskask said:


> Granted, now nature destroys us.
> 
> I wish I had more stuff to do, so I am not so bored.


Granted. You are now my slave.

I wish for a pair of pants.


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## shapeless0ne (May 14, 2016)

Kioskask said:


> Granted, they have a massive tear on the rear.
> 
> I wish for my cat to talk.


granted. but the only words you cat know are fuck and twit.

I wish we could all be anthros.


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## Azrion/Zhalo (May 14, 2016)

shapeless0ne said:


> granted. but the only words you cat know are fuck and twit.
> 
> I wish we could all be anthros.


Granted. Everybody is now a wolf.

I wish for a bottle of purified water.


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## shapeless0ne (May 14, 2016)

Azrion/Zhalo said:


> Granted. Everybody is now a wolf.
> 
> I wish for a bottle of purified water.


Granted, but it's actually a bottle of purified piss.

I wish I had some coffee.


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## Azrion/Zhalo (May 14, 2016)

shapeless0ne said:


> Granted, but it's actually a bottle of purified piss.
> 
> I wish I had some coffee.


Granted. Your coffee has some sort of "cream" in it. *winks*

I wish for bike.


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## Azrion/Zhalo (May 14, 2016)

Kioskask said:


> Granted, the bike has no wheels.
> 
> I wish for my own private jet.


Granted. Your jet lacks any functional parts.

I wish for a cloudy day.


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## Azrion/Zhalo (May 14, 2016)

Granted. You get a free "money"shot.

I wish for a piece of scrap metal.


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## shapeless0ne (May 14, 2016)

Kioskask said:


> Granted. Someone uses the metal to try and kill you.
> 
> I wish for immortality!


granted, but you can't interact with anything of this world.

I wish for some forest magic.


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## Yukkie (May 14, 2016)

shapeless0ne said:


> granted, but you can't interact with anything of this world.
> 
> I wish for some forest magic.



Granted. You're a tree now.

I wish for love.


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## Luku_Zuku (May 14, 2016)

Yukkie said:


> Granted. You're a tree now.
> 
> I wish for love.


Granted. It's star-crossed.

I wish for a decent wish


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## TheMintyBun (May 15, 2016)

Kioskask said:


> Granted, but you don't get it for another 100 years.
> 
> I wish I was older, in my late teen years.



Granted, you are in your late teens, but you _look_ like your 60.

I wish I could grow a nicer beard.


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## Yukkie (May 15, 2016)

TheMintyBun said:


> Granted, you are in your late teens, but you _look_ like your 60.
> 
> I wish I could grow a nicer beard.



Your beard has been upgraded. It's filled with raw fish. Eat all you want!

I wish I knew algebra.


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## Strangeguy32000 (May 15, 2016)

Yukkie said:


> Your beard has been upgraded. It's filled with raw fish. Eat all you want!
> 
> I wish I knew algebra.


Granted, it's first year algebra

I wish  I could direct a movie


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## Strangeguy32000 (May 15, 2016)

Kioskask said:


> Granted, nobody likes the movie and it has a 1* rating.
> 
> I wish for no animals to ever go extinct.



Granted, the world runs out of resources to support the unfettered population growth and they all go extinct, anyway.

I wish I had a drivers license


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## shapeless0ne (May 15, 2016)

Kioskask said:


> Granted, now the planet is hit by a huge electromagnetic pulse from the sun, making all vehicles useless.
> 
> I wish for my education to continue going brilliantly, so I achieve my goal of becoming an architect.


granted, but now you have an $25,000 student loan with an .05% interest rate.

I wish people would stop being so hostile towards furries, scalies, and other forms of furry, and realize where NOT just about yiff.


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## Mercuss (May 15, 2016)

Kioskask said:


> Granted. They are hostile to everyone else now instead.
> 
> I wish for the courage to start conversations with others, instead of waiting for them to start it.


Granted, but you have to yell "penis!" before every sentence. (just to make it awkward)
I wish i had, and know how to use photoshop.


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## Strangeguy32000 (May 15, 2016)

Mercuss said:


> Granted, but you have to yell "penis!" before every sentence. (just to make it awkward)
> I wish i had, and know how to use photoshop.


Granted, but your copy of Photoshop has a virus attached and cyclically erases non-essential files on your hard drive 

I wish I had the funds and ability to attend Anthrocon with my conceptually upgraded fursuit


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## Mercuss (May 15, 2016)

Strangeguy32000 said:


> Granted, but your copy of Photoshop has a virus attached and cyclically erases non-essential files on your hard drive
> 
> I wish I had the funds and ability to attend Anthrocon with my conceptually upgraded fursuit


You can go, but you can't shower 2 weeks prior, and during the convention.
My wish is to have unlimited money in a PayPal account


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## Azrion/Zhalo (May 15, 2016)

Mercuss said:


> You can go, but you can't shower 2 weeks prior, and during the convention.
> My wish is to have unlimited money in a PayPal account


Granted. Your PayPal account gets hacked by Hitler.

I wish for a milkshake made of actual milkshake stuff.


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## shapeless0ne (May 15, 2016)

Kioskask said:


> Granted, but the milkshake tastes like crap.
> 
> I wish for more friends.


granted, but all these friends are bronies. and they flood your e-mail with links to MLP porn.

I wish I knew more furry video games.


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## All#the#fuR (May 15, 2016)

shapeless0ne said:


> granted, but all these friends are bronies. and they flood your e-mail with links to MLP porn.
> 
> I wish I knew more furry video games.


 granted there are more furry video games but they are all really bad fursona maker games.

I wish that I didn't have to study for finals and get a straight A's


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## Azrion/Zhalo (May 15, 2016)

Kioskask said:


> Granted, but you have to do our British GCSE's instead, getting A* in all subjects.
> 
> I wish for better drawing skills.


Granted. You can only ever draw spahkledag porn.

I wish for a box.


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## shapeless0ne (May 15, 2016)

Azrion/Zhalo said:


> Granted. You can only ever draw spahkledag porn.
> 
> I wish for a box.


granted, but the cardboard box is now your new home.

I wish I was better at making anthro art and Photoshop.


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## Ricky (May 15, 2016)

Kioskask said:


> I wish for another pet horse.



*turns into a horse*

good, now I want us to switch places >:3


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## shapeless0ne (May 16, 2016)

shapeless0ne said:


> granted, but the cardboard box is now your new home.
> 
> I wish I was better at making anthro art and Photoshop.


ok, I guess I have to do my own wish.
granted, but now I can only draw wolves. making my new artistic talent worthless.

I wish I could UN-remember things, like MLP porn *cringe*.


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## Simo (May 16, 2016)

Granted. But it's a talking horse, and is very bitchy, and is always kicking you, and bossing you around.

I wish everyone lived in giant bounce-houses, and were covered in slime.


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## shapeless0ne (May 16, 2016)

Simo said:


> Granted. But it's a talking horse, and is very bitchy, and is always kicking you, and bossing you around.
> 
> I wish everyone lived in giant bounce-houses, and were covered in slime.


granted, but now everyones stuck at age 5 and can't get any older.

I wish I knew more good scalie web-comics.


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## rhansen23 (May 17, 2016)

Granted, but you may never access the internet again.

I wish I could backpack across Europe for fun.


----------



## Yukkie (May 17, 2016)

rhansen23 said:


> Granted, but you may never access the internet again.
> 
> I wish I could backpack across Europe for fun.



Granted. Your backpack is filled with bricks. And only bricks.

I wish I had copics.


----------



## SodaBubbles (May 17, 2016)

Yukkie said:


> Granted. Your backpack is filled with bricks. And only bricks.
> 
> I wish I had copics.



Granted. You have every color, but they're all dried up. You only find this one when you try each one.

I wish I had some pizza.


----------



## Simo (May 17, 2016)

Granted! But a flock of rabid seagulls swoops down, attacks, and gobbles it all away, leaving a huge mess in their wake.

I wish I had a pet anteater.


----------



## Kioskask (May 17, 2016)

Simo said:


> Granted! But a flock of rabid seagulls swoops down, attacks, and gobbles it all away, leaving a huge mess in their wake.
> 
> I wish I had a pet anteater.


Granted, but it can't stop farting.

I wish for a pet gerbil.


----------



## SodaBubbles (May 17, 2016)

Granted. Except it's secretly a ninja gerbil and kills you horribly.

I wish I had a really awesome car.


----------



## Azrion/Zhalo (May 17, 2016)

SodaBubbles said:


> Granted. Except it's secretly a ninja gerbil and kills you horribly.
> 
> I wish I had a really awesome car.


Granted. You can die in a car crash alone in the fancy car you spent your whole life trying to pay for.

I wish for a door.


----------



## SodaBubbles (May 17, 2016)

Azrion/Zhalo said:


> Granted. You can die in a car crash alone in the fancy car you spent your whole life trying to pay for.
> 
> I wish for a door.



Granted but it opens into a black hole and you're sucked in.

I wish for a dragon to ride into battle and to be my friend.


----------



## Azrion/Zhalo (May 17, 2016)

SodaBubbles said:


> Granted but it opens into a black hole and you're sucked in.
> 
> I wish for a dragon to ride into battle and to be my friend.


Granted. Dragon will want you to ride him in a private place. *wink* Then you get pregnant.

I wish for a penny.


----------



## shapeless0ne (May 17, 2016)

Azrion/Zhalo said:


> Granted. Dragon will want you to ride him in a private place. *wink* Then you get pregnant.
> 
> I wish for a penny.


granted, but this penny has an rare virus on it which clauses you to lose both your "manly happy places' *wink*

I wish there where more shark furries in the fandom.


----------



## Azrion/Zhalo (May 17, 2016)

shapeless0ne said:


> granted, but this penny has an rare virus on it which clauses you to lose both your "manly happy places' *wink*
> 
> I wish there where more shark furries in the fandom.


Granted. They are wolf-shark hybrids with rainbows on them.

I wish for an electron


----------



## shapeless0ne (May 17, 2016)

Azrion/Zhalo said:


> Granted. They are wolf-shark hybrids with rainbows on them.
> 
> I wish for an electron


granted, but the electron sets off a chain reaction in your body that eventually turns you into a brain-dead zombie.

I wish I could find a way to get a reference sheet done of my dragon.


----------



## Yukkie (May 17, 2016)

shapeless0ne said:


> granted, but the electron sets off a chain reaction in your body that eventually turns you into a brain-dead zombie.
> 
> I wish I could find a way to get a reference sheet done of my dragon.



You get your reference sheet done by somebody you don't know, and they get your character horribly wrong.

I wish I could defeat Mettaton without getting hit once.


----------



## Simo (May 17, 2016)

Granted. You defeat Mettaton, and don't get hit once; instead, you get hit so many times, that you also die at the same time.

I wish smoking made you live forever, in a state of perfect health and youthfulness.


----------



## shapeless0ne (May 17, 2016)

Simo said:


> Granted. You defeat Mettaton, and don't get hit once; instead, you get hit so many times, that you also die at the same time.
> 
> I wish smoking made you live forever, in a state of perfect health and youthfulness.


granted but now a common cigar costs per 100,000,000,000,000,000,000$ and old cigars that you might find in your closet still make you sick.

I wish I had an burrito that turns me into my scaliesona when I eat it ^.=.^


----------



## SodaBubbles (May 17, 2016)

shapeless0ne said:


> granted but now a common cigar costs per 100,000,000,000,000,000,000$ and old cigars that you might find in your closet still make you sick.
> 
> I wish I had an burrito that turns me into my scaliesona when I eat it ^.=.^



Granted. Except now everyone wants to hunt you for your hide and you're on the run for the rest of your life, whatever that is.

I wish I had a glass that never emptied of my favorite beer.


----------



## Simo (May 17, 2016)

Granted! But it gives you non-stop, chronic diarrhea.

I wish I had a talking condom.


----------



## Azrion/Zhalo (May 17, 2016)

SodaBubbles said:


> Granted. Except now everyone wants to hunt you for your hide and you're on the run for the rest of your life, whatever that is.
> 
> I wish I had a glass that never emptied of my favorite beer.


Granted. The dragon from before that got you pregnant comes by and breaks your glass of beer then demands more satisfaction.

I wish for a pile of dirt.


----------



## SodaBubbles (May 17, 2016)

Simo said:


> Granted! But it gives you non-stop, chronic diarrhea.
> 
> I wish I had a talking condom.



Granted, except it's completely useless as a prophylactic AND it only spouted rude, cliched phrases.

I wish for a train that can go anywhere, any time. In 42 minutes exactly.


----------



## Simo (May 17, 2016)

Granted! But it derails several times along the way each way, then magically is back on track again. You reach your destinations, but always covered in bumps, welts and bruises.

I wish I had a fursuit of my Simo the Skunk fursona to wear to cons so I could give out hugs!


----------



## shapeless0ne (May 17, 2016)

granted, but it ALWAYS smells like stunk spray no matter what you do.
granted, but that pile of dirt has a magical wolf potion in it, that turns you into a sparkle dog.

I wish I had a chocolate chip Cooke that turns me into my secondary fursona.


----------



## Azrion/Zhalo (May 17, 2016)

shapeless0ne said:


> granted, but that pile of dirt has a magical wolf potion in it, that turns you into a sparkle dog.


----------



## SodaBubbles (May 17, 2016)

shapeless0ne said:


> granted, but it ALWAYS smells like stunk spray no matter what you do.
> granted, but that pile of dirt has a magical wolf potion in it, that turns you into a sparkle dog.
> 
> I wish I had a chocolate chip Cooke that turns me into my secondary fursona.



Granted, but the chocolate chips are poisoned so you have to be buried as your fursona and no one attends your funeral because they don't know who you are.

I wish I had a music box that never needs winding


----------



## TheMintyBun (May 17, 2016)

SodaBubbles said:


> Granted, but the chocolate chips are poisoned so you have to be buried as your fursona and no one attends your funeral because they don't know who you are.
> 
> I wish I had a music box that never needs winding



Granted, it never stops playing either.

I wish I liked vegetables.


----------



## SodaBubbles (May 17, 2016)

TheMintyBun said:


> Granted, it never stops playing either.
> 
> I wish I liked vegetables.



Granted. You like vegetables but you can't eat them because they like you back and pay you far too many compliments and you get a big ego and no else likes you.

I wish I got a package full up with glitter in it.


----------



## euthanizedCanine (May 17, 2016)

SodaBubbles said:


> Granted. You like vegetables but you can't eat them because they like you back and pay you far too many compliments and you get a big ego and no else likes you.
> 
> I wish I got a package full up with glitter in it.


Granted. You now have a backpack filled with glitter, there's no doubt about it. The bag is transparent and you can just see the glitter. Sadly for you, the moment you try to reach into the bag, or use the glitter in any form, the backpack turns inside out, consuming you and expelling all the glitter it once held. You cannot call for help, there is no signal in this bag. You cannot scream, it is sound-proof. You will just have a bag, filled with glitter. Useless, but good for show. If anyone dare to open it, they will experience the consequences.*

I wish my food wasn't cold.


----------



## Simo (May 17, 2016)

Granted! All your food from this point on remains at a constant temperature of 500 degrees Fahrenheit, and never cools down, no matter what. You may starve, but you'll always be able to use your food to stay warm.

I wish I was in a panda-bear plush-suit, jumping on a trampoline.


----------



## euthanizedCanine (May 17, 2016)

Simo said:


> Granted! All your food from this point on remains at a constant temperature of 500 degrees Fahrenheit, and never cools down, no matter what. You may starve, but you'll always be able to use your food to stay warm.
> 
> I wish I was in a panda-bear plush-suit, jumping on a trampoline.


Granted!
You've slipped on this adorable panda suit and you're feeling quite joyous, almost rejuvenated. Your childish years may have been behind you, but they've now returned to you in one glorious moment. You hop onto the trampoline and begin bouncing. Little did you know that there was a spider's nest in your suit, mistaken for a ball of lint you didn't care to clean out. They've mistaken you as their mother and will now spread all over the suit to attempt to devour you. The suit has a front zipper, but it's jammed. Your trampoline adventures happened to be in a very deserted neighborhood, and no one is in sight. You will continue this wretched spider ritual until they eat you alive.

I wish my phone never ran out of battery.


----------



## Simo (May 17, 2016)

euthanizedCanine said:


> Granted!
> You've slipped on this adorable panda suit and you're feeling quite joyous, almost rejuvenated. Your childish years may have been behind you, but they've now returned to you in one glorious moment. You hop onto the trampoline and begin bouncing. Little did you know that there was a spider's nest in your suit, mistaken for a ball of lint you didn't care to clean out. They've mistaken you as their mother and will now spread all over the suit to attempt to devour you. The suit has a front zipper, but it's jammed. Your trampoline adventures happened to be in a very deserted neighborhood, and no one is in sight. You will continue this wretched spider ritual until they eat you alive.
> 
> I wish my phone never ran out of battery.



(I hate spiders!)

Granted! The battery lasts forever. However, every time you talk or text, it converts it into a random language that the other person does not know, from Swahili to Sanskrit, from Greek to Gujurat. It also does this to incoming calls and messages. And, it gives you some nasty electric shocks.

I wish all the furries in the world would throw a parade in my honor, with me as the furry skunk-king, riding on my own special float.


----------



## Azrion/Zhalo (May 17, 2016)

Simo said:


> (I hate spiders!)
> 
> Granted! The battery lasts forever. However, every time you talk or text, it converts it into a random language that the other person does not know, from Swahili to Sanskrit, from Greek to Gujurat. It also does this to incoming calls and messages. And, it gives you some nasty electric shocks.
> 
> I wish all the furries in the world would throw a parade in my honor, with me as the furry skunk-king, riding on my own special float.


Granted. Everyone is now scalies so nobody gives a poo about your online username.

I wish for Cheerios


----------



## euthanizedCanine (May 17, 2016)

Azrion/Zhalo said:


> Granted. Everyone is now scalies so nobody gives a poo about your online username.
> 
> I wish for Cheerios


Granted! Your Cheerios seem perfect. Like small donuts, they land on your bowl. But... you have nothing else. To achieve your life-time supply of Cheerios you sold your family, your house, and a few body parts. You only have the mouth, arm, and stomach left to eat cheerios. Your neighbors don't pity you, because you have no neighbors. They all left the neighborhood to make way for your Cheerios. After years of working up to this point, you worry you might not have lived your life to the fullest. As you shove some more Cheerios into your mouth, falling into a pit of depression, you die of a stroke.

I wish I was never tired.


----------



## Simo (May 17, 2016)

Edit: Granted! You're never tired, but that's also because you're in a coma, and unaware of much of anything.

I wish I the boss of you.


----------



## SodaBubbles (May 17, 2016)

Simo said:


> Edit: Granted! You're never tired, but that's also because you're in a coma, and unaware of much of anything.
> 
> I wish I the boss of you.



Granted. Except I can't comply with anything you request or demand.

I wish I was able to have all the money I needed or wanted, whenever i needed or wanted it.


----------



## Azrion/Zhalo (May 17, 2016)

euthanizedCanine said:


> Granted! Your Cheerios seem perfect. Like small donuts, they land on your bowl. But... you have nothing else. To achieve your life-time supply of Cheerios you sold your family, your house, and a few body parts. You only have the mouth, arm, and stomach left to eat cheerios. Your neighbors don't pity you, because you have no neighbors. They all left the neighborhood to make way for your Cheerios. After years of working up to this point, you worry you might not have lived your life to the fullest. As you shove some more Cheerios into your mouth, falling into a pit of depression, you die of a stroke.
> 
> I wish I was never tired.


If I said I wanted Cheerios, it doesn't mean I buy a lifetime supply of them. It's like saying if you want coffee but you quite literally had to buy a damn ocean of coffee before you get any coffee.


----------



## euthanizedCanine (May 17, 2016)

SodaBubbles said:


> Granted. Except I can't comply with anything you request or demand.
> 
> I wish I was able to have all the money I needed or wanted, whenever i needed or wanted it.


Granted! You're not rich, but whenever you reach into your pocket, you have* just* *enough* money to buy whatever you wished for. Much to your dismay, the cash is in pennies. The more you reach into your pocket, the more pennies come out, but your pocket gets heavier and heavier, and your pants begin to fall. You're in public and you cannot afford the social repercussions of falling pants and an endless supply of pennies. Hence, the wish becomes more of a burden than a relief. Maybe if you're patient enough you can stand by and have someone count all the pennies with you until you can afford whatever it is you were purchasing.

I wish I was more focused and didn't miss things like this. 


Azrion/Zhalo said:


> If I said I wanted Cheerios, it doesn't mean I buy a lifetime supply of them.


 (Sorry!)


----------



## Simo (May 17, 2016)

euthanizedCanine said:


> Granted! You're not rich, but whenever you reach into your pocket, you have* just* *enough* money to buy whatever you wished for. Much to your dismay, the cash is in pennies. The more you reach into your pocket, the more pennies come out, but your pocket gets heavier and heavier, and your pants begin to fall. You're in public and you cannot afford the social repercussions of falling pants and an endless supply of pennies. Hence, the wish becomes more of a burden than a relief. Maybe if you're patient enough you can stand by and have someone count all the pennies with you until you can afford whatever it is you were purchasing.
> 
> I wish I was more focused and didn't miss things like this.
> (Sorry!)



Granted. You're so focused on playing games in furry forums, that you miss nothing in them, ever. However, you do miss work, school, forget to bathe, and seldom eat, and eventually, never leave the house. Your dehydrated remains are found some months later, hunched over a keyboard. (sorry, there!)

I wish I could be a Fossa for a day, and jump happily from branch to branch, and make some nice lemur stew!


----------



## Kitsune633 (May 17, 2016)

Simo said:


> Granted. You're so focused on playing games in furry forums, that you miss nothing in them, ever. However, you do miss work, school, forget to bathe, and seldom eat, and eventually, never leave the house. Your dehydrated remains are found some months later, hunched over a keyboard. (sorry, there!)
> 
> I wish I could be a Fossa for a day, and jump happily from branch to branch, and make some nice lemur stew!




Granted, but its only for a Pacific Standard Time day.


I wish I could win the Powerball Jackpot


----------



## euthanizedCanine (May 17, 2016)

Kitsune633 said:


> Granted, but its only for a Pacific Standard Time day.
> 
> 
> I wish I could win the Powerball Jackpot



Granted, but your identity is stolen and someone else claims the jackpot in your name. With no witness that this was an impostor, everyone assumes you just have a very odd sense of humor and a (very bad) recurring joke you won't drop. Later that day the mysterious figure finds you sulking in your room, stabs you, dumps your body in an incinerator, and fully takes over your identity.

I wish I had an endless supply of Game Grumps.


----------



## Kitsune633 (May 17, 2016)

euthanizedCanine said:


> Granted, but your identity is stolen and someone else claims the jackpot in your name. With no witness that this was an impostor, everyone assumes you just have a very odd sense of humor and a (very bad) recurring joke you won't drop. Later that day the mysterious figure finds you sulking in your room, stabs you, dumps your body in an incinerator, and fully takes over your identity.
> 
> I wish I had an endless supply of Game Grumps.



Granted. But now, you are grumpy and cannot enjoy any game whatsoever be it videogames or table top games.


I wish I had a cherry pie.


----------



## Simo (May 17, 2016)

Kitsune633 said:


> Granted. But now, you are grumpy and cannot enjoy any game whatsoever be it videogames or table top games.
> 
> 
> I wish I had a cherry pie.



Granted! But a devious clown appears out of nowhere, and smashes it against your face, then runs away, laughing, and later posts the video to You Tube.

I wish I was riding a bucking bronco, in a rodeo.


----------



## Kitsune633 (May 17, 2016)

Granted, but the bronco rides you and its a gay rodeo.


I wish for having all the world's weapons with unlimited ammo, no reloads.


----------



## Simo (May 17, 2016)

Kitsune633 said:


> Granted, but the bronco rides you and its a gay rodeo.
> 
> 
> I wish for having all the world's weapons with unlimited ammo, no reloads.



( Kinky :V )

Granted. But as soon as it's delivered, the unlimited ammo all turns into soft, Nerf foam material, and any explosive compounds are turned into bursts of rainbow glitter.

I wish I lived in a penthouse on the top floor of a building in NYC.


----------



## Kioskask (May 18, 2016)

Simo said:


> ( Kinky :V )
> 
> Granted. But as soon as it's delivered, the unlimited ammo all turns into soft, Nerf foam material, and any explosive compounds are turned into bursts of rainbow glitter.
> 
> I wish I lived in a penthouse on the top floor of a building in NYC.


Granted, but it has no electricity, water or sewage and isn't structurally stable.

I wish I could move to America.


----------



## shapeless0ne (May 18, 2016)

Kioskask said:


> Granted, but it has no electricity, water or sewage and isn't structurally stable.
> 
> I wish I could move to America.


granted, you move to Mississippi and wind up in a house that's 50 miles form any sign of civilization and is slowly sinking into the swamped land it stands on.

I wish I could get a ref sheet done of my fursonas.


----------



## Kitsune633 (May 18, 2016)

Granted. But it expensive and done in stick style.

I wish I was genre savvy.


----------



## shapeless0ne (May 18, 2016)

SodaBubbles said:


> Granted, but the chocolate chips are poisoned so you have to be buried as your fursona and no one attends your funeral because they don't know who you are.
> 
> I wish I had a music box that never needs winding


----------



## Kioskask (May 18, 2016)

Kitsune633 said:


> Granted. But it expensive and done in stick style.
> 
> I wish I was genre savvy.


Granted, but only for 30 minutes.

I wish I was omniscient and omnipotent.


----------



## shapeless0ne (May 18, 2016)

Kioskask said:


> Granted, but only for 30 minutes.
> 
> I wish I was omniscient and omnipotent.


granted, but now your stuck in a eternal dream wile your real body is in never ending coma.

I wish I could post my images in the my signature box.


----------



## Simo (May 18, 2016)

Granted! But only images of cheesy boy-bands.

I wish I was the warden of an all furry prison, with various fursuits as uniforms. (I mean, what could go wrong?)


----------



## Kitsune633 (May 18, 2016)

Simo said:


> Granted! But only images of cheesy boy-bands.
> 
> I wish I was the warden of an all furry prison, with various fursuits as uniforms. (I mean, what could go wrong?)




Granted. But your staff is overworked, underpaid, and the various furries form gangs and run the yards deal with drugs, alcohol and other contraband.


I wish to possess all the world's Pokemon cards.


----------



## euthanizedCanine (May 18, 2016)

Kitsune633 said:


> Granted. But your staff is overworked, underpaid, and the various furries form gangs and run the yards deal with drugs, alcohol and other contraband.
> 
> 
> I wish to possess all the world's Pokemon cards.


Granted. All Pokemon cards are now within your grasp, including limited editions. Despite this, you cannot show them to anyone. The moment you whip any card out to show anyone else, it automatically disintegrates. If you try to take a picture of any of the cards, your device will instantly catch on fire and destroy all the information it held. You can have all the cards you desire, but no one will know you have them, and you won't be able to play with them. You can tell other people about the cards, but you will never actually be able to prove it.

I wish I didn't have flat feet.


----------



## Nemnth (May 18, 2016)

euthanizedCanine said:


> Granted. All Pokemon cards are now within your grasp, including limited editions. Despite this, you cannot show them to anyone. The moment you whip any card out to show anyone else, it automatically disintegrates. If you try to take a picture of any of the cards, your device will instantly catch on fire and destroy all the information it held. You can have all the cards you desire, but no one will know you have them, and you won't be able to play with them. You can tell other people about the cards, but you will never actually be able to prove it.
> 
> I wish I didn't have flat feet.


Granted! But now your feet are spheres, making it even harder to walk!

I wish College would stop being so stressfull


----------



## shapeless0ne (May 18, 2016)

Nemnth said:


> Granted! But now your feet are spheres, making it even harder to walk!
> 
> I wish College would stop being so stressfull


granted, but now it'll take 20 years to graduate.

I wish I knew more erotic scalie art web-sites.


----------



## Simo (May 18, 2016)

shapeless0ne said:


> granted, but now it'll take 20 years to graduate.
> 
> I wish I knew more erotic scalie art web-sites.



Granted. Now, every site on the internet becomes an erotic scalie art web-site, but all of the dragons look exactly like Spike, from My Little Pony. 

I wish they would erect a massive statue of me, Simo S. Skunk, in every city in the world.


----------



## Nemnth (May 19, 2016)

Granted! But the statues arn't made out of the best material and are destoryed in a few days due to natural causes. Instead, they're all replaced with an Airdancer which looks like your character.

I wish I could control time


----------



## Simo (May 19, 2016)

Granted. You have total control of time, and can cause all of reality to shift to any time period you want, past, present or future. However, you've lost all control of space, and thus, of movement, and are always stuck in the same place, unable to move.

I wish I had a concert grand piano, and was a virtuoso at playing it.


----------



## Birdbf (May 19, 2016)

Granted, but on the way to your first concert, your hands are bitten off by a very angry chihuahua.
Better luck next time.

I wish my power and gas people would come to my apartment already to set things up.


----------



## Kioskask (May 19, 2016)

Granted. They set it up wrong and it starts a fire.

I wish I had a bigger room.


----------



## Birdbf (May 19, 2016)

Nice. They'd have to cover for the damages and my shit's still in my other apartment, so please.

Granted! Your room is now a dungeon-like jail cell, a la silence of the lambs. Congratulations on your lovely new abode.

I wish I was 5'6". I need a little height in my life.


----------



## Cannabiskitty (May 19, 2016)

Congratulations 5'6" you are now falling from space.

I wish I had a flat tummy.


----------



## Birdbf (May 19, 2016)

Granted! You now have a flat tummy. You also have a flat everything else. You've been hit by a steamroller, congratulations!

I wish someone made a generous, legal donation of 1 million dollars to me.


----------



## Azrion/Zhalo (May 19, 2016)

Birdbf said:


> Granted! You now have a flat tummy. You also have a flat everything else. You've been hit by a steamroller, congratulations!
> 
> I wish someone made a generous, legal donation of 1 million dollars to me.


Granted. You are bombarded by Donald Trump memes instead of actually getting your monie.

I wish for a pair of socks that'll fit my dragon feet.


----------



## PlusThirtyOne (May 19, 2016)

Your new socks will fit your feet...as well as everything else. Enjoy your new sleeping bags.

i wish i could draw whatever i want; the image will translate perfectly from thought to paper.


----------



## Azrion/Zhalo (May 19, 2016)

PlusThirtyOne said:


> Your new socks will fit your feet...as well as everything else. Enjoy your new sleeping bags.
> 
> i wish i could draw whatever i want; the image will translate perfectly from thought to paper.


(So your shirt, bra, pants and everything else will fit my feet? I go through socks pretty fast, better hand em over now)

Granted. Your thought can only be translated onto heavily crumpled up pieces of paper to the point of them being indistinguishable.

I wish for a portal gun.


----------



## PlusThirtyOne (May 19, 2016)

Azrion/Zhalo said:


> (So your shirt, bra, pants and everything else will fit my feet? I go through socks pretty fast, better hand em over now)


By that i meant that your socks would fit "everything else", meaning every part of you; the whole of you. i thought i got the point across with the "sleeping bags" bit. Oh well. :V

Well, okay, you can have your portal gun but it only makes one portal (as apposed to a pair of linked ones) and you'll never know where it goes.

Meanwhile, i wish i had the entirety of Steam's library for free.


----------



## Simo (May 19, 2016)

Granted! But access to the entire library is also subject to the installation of a large pipe, which blasts piping hot steam as you as you play, thus instantly cooking you to well-done. 

I wish all smart phones, tablets, cell-phones, laptops and other such devices all suddenly weighed at least 50 pounds, thus making them very cumbersome to use.


----------



## shapeless0ne (May 19, 2016)

Simo said:


> Granted. Now, every site on the internet becomes an erotic scalie art web-site, but all of the dragons look exactly like Spike, from My Little Pony.
> 
> I wish they would erect a massive statue of me, Simo S. Skunk, in every city in the world.


----------



## Simo (May 19, 2016)

shapeless0ne said:


>



*giggles*

I thought this might bring about such a reaction


----------



## shapeless0ne (May 19, 2016)

Simo said:


> Granted! But access to the entire library is also subject to the installation of a large pipe, which blasts piping hot steam as you as you play, thus instantly cooking you to well-done.
> 
> I wish all smart phones, tablets, cell-phones, laptops and other such devices all suddenly weighed at least 50 pounds, thus making them very cumbersome to use.


granted, but now everyone knows and hates you for removing there one and only REASON TOO LIVE! *sarcasm* thus ruining your chances of ever finding anyone to talk too.

I wish I had a magical taco that turns me into my scalesona and makes me immune to poisons after I eat it.


----------



## Kioskask (May 19, 2016)

shapeless0ne said:


> granted, but now everyone knows and hates you for removing there one and only REASON TOO LIVE! *sarcasm* thus ruining your chances of ever finding anyone to talk too.
> 
> I wish I had a magical taco that turns me into my scalesona and makes me immune to poisons after I eat it.


Granted, but your immune system stops working, so you can die from any illness.

I wish I could move house.


----------



## shapeless0ne (May 19, 2016)

Kioskask said:


> Granted, but your immune system stops working, so you can die from any illness.
> 
> I wish I could move house.


----------



## Simo (May 19, 2016)

Kioskask said:


> Granted, but your immune system stops working, so you can die from any illness.
> 
> I wish I could move house.



Granted. You pick up and move Dr. House, from that TV show, 'House', that was once very popular. However, the crabby Dr. injects you with a hypodermic of an experimental solution, transforming you into a pretty, pink, sparkly bunny rabbit.

I wish I had my own private, luxury submarine, with spacious cabins, and a huge viewing room.


----------



## Birdbf (May 19, 2016)

Granted. But it's sealed incorrectly so the pressurized cabinets fill up as soon as you try to submerge, hence ruining the insides if you manage to survive.
Let's hope you have submarine insurance!

I wish my boyfriend would hurry up and get to our apartment. He's taking too long.


----------



## Nemnth (May 19, 2016)

Granted! He hurries up and starting heading to the apartment, although, while one his way, he gets kidnapped by goblins!

I wish I could move and control time, since I'm frozen in place


----------



## Traven V (May 19, 2016)

Granted but space and time also control you so you become space-time.

I wish there was something to do?


----------



## shapeless0ne (May 19, 2016)

Traven V said:


> Granted but space and time also control you so you become space-time.
> 
> I wish there was something to do?


granted, you now have to grade an entire pile of  high-schoolers essay papers. but every time you get close to finishing or take a break the pile refills back to the way it was before you started.

I was I had some dark chocolate.


----------



## Nemnth (May 19, 2016)

shapeless0ne said:


> granted, you now have to grade an entire pile of  high-schoolers essay papers. but every time you get close to finishing or take a break the pile refills back to the way it was before you started.
> 
> I was I had some dark chocolate.



Granted! But the chocolate is REALLY dark... So dark, that is just tastes like cocoa... wait, hang on a second... it IS just pure cocoa

I wish I could control myself o-o


----------



## FlufflesKitten (May 19, 2016)

Luku_Zuku said:


> Granted, but the hugger has several spines, like a cactus.
> 
> I wish for a better phone


Granted. the screen is unusable and you cannot see anything on it

I wish i was ded


----------



## euthanizedCanine (May 19, 2016)

FlufflesKitten said:


> Granted. the screen is unusable and you cannot see anything on it
> 
> I wish i was ded


Granted! After a long talk with your loved ones, you decide it's time. 
You change your name to "ded". You have no last name, just "ded".
None of them approve nor understand your decision, but fear opposing it.

I wish I could draw quicker instead of taking a week for doodles ;;


----------



## Birdbf (May 19, 2016)

euthanizedCanine said:


> Granted! After a long talk with your loved ones, you decide it's time.
> You change your name to "ded". You have no last name, just "ded".
> None of them approve nor understand your decision, but fear opposing it.
> 
> I wish I could draw quicker instead of taking a week for doodles ;;



Granted! But none of them ever get attention in your online circles. You're an undercover artist from this point on.

I wish youtube had videos that were interesting to me that I haven't seen yet. I've watched so many that I've exhausted all things I'm interested in..


----------



## shapeless0ne (May 20, 2016)

Nemnth said:


> Granted! But the chocolate is REALLY dark... So dark, that is just tastes like cocoa... wait, hang on a second... it IS just pure cocoa
> 
> I wish I could control myself o-o


granted, but now your man's pleasure "if you get what I mean" shrinks away into nothing and you feel cold and empty inside all the time.

I wish more dragons would come to these forums ^.=.^


----------



## Traven V (May 20, 2016)

shapeless0ne said:


> granted, but now your man's pleasure "if you get what I mean" shrinks away into nothing and you feel cold and empty inside all the time.
> 
> I wish more dragons would come to these forums ^.=.^



granted but are all quickly tamed for our flying pleasure which causes a war, yadda, yadda, yadda, epic tale. 

I wish I could buy a pack of Marlboro Marijuanas (you know the wacky weed)


----------



## shapeless0ne (May 20, 2016)

Traven V said:


> granted but are all quickly tamed for our flying pleasure which causes a war, yadda, yadda, yadda, epic tale.
> 
> I wish I could buy a pack of Marlboro Marijuanas (you know the wacky weed)








yea, I'd like to see you try it.


----------



## Traven V (May 20, 2016)

shapeless0ne said:


> yea, I'd like to see you try it.



Relax, I actually revere dragons, always have and see them as a symbol of protection and prosperity. just playing the game.


----------



## Nemnth (May 20, 2016)

Traven V said:


> granted but are all quickly tamed for our flying pleasure which causes a war, yadda, yadda, yadda, epic tale.
> 
> I wish I could buy a pack of Marlboro Marijuanas (you know the wacky weed)


Granted! But all the dragons end up buying it instead! So now everyone is out!

I wish I could fly to get around and no one would think any different of it!


----------



## Kioskask (May 20, 2016)

Nemnth said:


> Granted! But all the dragons end up buying it instead! So now everyone is out!
> 
> I wish I could fly to get around and no one would think any different of it!


Granted, they don't think anything of it. However, this is because they can never see you do it and they won't ever believe you if you say you do.

I wish I could travel everywhere, with no need for money or a passport.


----------



## Azrion/Zhalo (May 20, 2016)

Kioskask said:


> Granted, they don't think anything of it. However, this is because they can never see you do it and they won't ever believe you if you say you do.
> 
> I wish I could travel everywhere, with no need for money or a passport.


Granted. Dragons control all transportation, and for being a wolf, you have to pay with a tasty meal of Kioskask.

I wish for a Gamma Gun.


----------



## Kioskask (May 20, 2016)

Azrion/Zhalo said:


> for being a wolf, you have to pay with a tasty meal of Kioskask.


I think I'm missing something...?


----------



## Azrion/Zhalo (May 20, 2016)

Kioskask said:


> I think I'm missing something...?


Basically you pay with your life, not hard to miss that.


----------



## Kioskask (May 20, 2016)

Azrion/Zhalo said:


> Basically you pay with your life, not hard to miss that.


Oops, I'm tired so I'm a bit slow to think at the moment.


----------



## Saokymo (May 20, 2016)

Azrion/Zhalo said:


> Granted. Dragons control all transportation, and for being a wolf, you have to pay with a tasty meal of Kioskask.
> 
> I wish for a Gamma Gun.


Granted! Unfortunately it's protective casing is cracked and you suffer a lethal dose of radiation poisoning.

I wish for a really tasty sandwich.


----------



## Azrion/Zhalo (May 20, 2016)

Saokymo said:


> Granted! Unfortunately it's protective casing is cracked and you suffer a lethal dose of radiation poisoning.
> 
> I wish for a really tasty sandwich.


(Good thing I always wear Power Armor.  Uses a Rad-away) 

Granted. Your sandwich has a tasty, yet strange kind of Food Paste in it, soon causing you to become addicted to the paste and you turn into a Pink Ghoul as you search for more paste.

I wish for a Tato.


----------



## Mercuss (May 20, 2016)

(I'm assuming you mean tattoo) Granted. Your tattoo is made with Indian elephant "cake icing".
My wish is to get the wish I just granted out of my head.


----------



## Azrion/Zhalo (May 20, 2016)

Mercuss said:


> (I'm assuming you mean tattoo) Granted. Your tattoo is made with Indian elephant "cake icing".
> My wish is to get the wish I just granted out of my head.


NO I SAID TATO.


----------



## Mercuss (May 20, 2016)

Azrion/Zhalo said:


> NO I SAID TATO.



What exactly  is a TATO? xD


----------



## Azrion/Zhalo (May 20, 2016)

Mercuss said:


> What exactly  is a TATO? xD


----------



## Kioskask (May 20, 2016)

Azrion/Zhalo said:


> (Good thing I always wear Power Armor.  Uses a Rad-away)
> 
> Granted. Your sandwich has a tasty, yet strange kind of Food Paste in it, soon causing you to become addicted to the paste and you turn into a Pink Ghoul as you search for more paste.
> 
> I wish for a Tato.


Granted, but it's coated in a thick layer of green mould.

I wish I had a better desk.


----------



## shapeless0ne (May 20, 2016)

Kioskask said:


> Granted, but it's coated in a thick layer of green mould.
> 
> I wish I had a better desk.


granted, but the desk is covered in a green stinky sludge that never comes off. 

I wish I had a posion-less disease-less fajita, that will turn me into a anthro dragon with the power to control water.


----------



## Azrion/Zhalo (May 20, 2016)

shapeless0ne said:


> granted, but the desk is covered in a green stinky sludge that never comes off.
> 
> I wish I had a posion-less disease-less fajita, that will turn me into a anthro dragon with the power to control water.


Granted. You drop your fajita into a dirty, salty puddle, riddling it with all diseases known to the Commonwealth.

I wish for a large, unbreakable bottle.


----------



## shapeless0ne (May 20, 2016)

Azrion/Zhalo said:


> Granted. You drop your fajita into a dirty, salty puddle, riddling it with all diseases known to the Commonwealth.
> 
> I wish for a large, unbreakable bottle.


----------



## Azrion/Zhalo (May 20, 2016)

shapeless0ne said:


>


You should really hold onto your fajita a bit better there buddy  x3


----------



## Volvom (May 20, 2016)

Azrion/Zhalo said:


> Granted. You drop your fajita into a dirty, salty puddle, riddling it with all diseases known to the Commonwealth.
> 
> I wish for a large, unbreakable bottle.


Granted, but that bottle os actually freshly made and it's like burning liquid~ 

I wish for change my gender from female to male.


----------



## shapeless0ne (May 20, 2016)

Azrion/Zhalo said:


> You should really hold onto your fajita a bit better there buddy  x3


----------



## Saokymo (May 20, 2016)

Azrion/Zhalo said:


> You should really hold onto your fajita a bit better there buddy  x3



I don't think he wants to taco 'bout it right now.


----------



## JynxLynx (May 20, 2016)

Volvom said:


> Granted, but that bottle os actually freshly made and it's like burning liquid~
> 
> I wish for change my gender from female to male.


Granted, but you still bleed once a month!~
I wish for a softer pillow.


----------



## Azrion/Zhalo (May 20, 2016)

JynxLynx said:


> Granted, but you still bleed once a month!~
> I wish for a softer pillow.


Granted. I'm now your pillow but I will require specific things of you in the future for doing so. *wink*

I wish for a magazine to read.


----------



## shapeless0ne (May 20, 2016)

Azrion/Zhalo said:


> Granted. I'm now your pillow but I will require specific things of you in the future for doing so. *wink*
> 
> I wish for a magazine to read.


granted, but it's an all MLP fanart special. (to make matters worse there are a few drawings of spike having "fun' if you catch my drift' with various other MLP characters.)

I wish the fandom had less furred fursonas (wolf, cats etc) and more non furred fursonas such as scalies.


----------



## Saokymo (May 21, 2016)

shapeless0ne said:


> granted, but it's an all MLP fanart special. (to make matters worse there are a few drawings of spike having "fun' if you catch my drift' with various other MLP characters.)
> 
> I wish the fandom had less furred fursonas (wolf, cats etc) and more non furred fursonas such as scalies.


Granted! Unfortunately all the new fursonas look like this:





I wish Firefly would get a new season of episodes.


----------



## TidesofFate (May 21, 2016)

Granted, but I have to eat you first. 

I wish that I didn't kill Padme.


----------



## Nemnth (May 21, 2016)

Granted! But she still hates you and ends up leaving you for obi-wan

I wish I could have a dergen pillow~ o-o


----------



## shapeless0ne (May 21, 2016)

Nemnth said:


> Granted! But she still hates you and ends up leaving you for obi-wan
> 
> I wish I could have a dergen pillow~ o-o


granted, but now every other dragon in the fandom wants a dragon pillow. resulting in a giant head smashing back braking hug. 

I wish we dragons ruled the fandom. ^.=.^


----------



## Nemnth (May 21, 2016)

shapeless0ne said:


> granted, but now every other dragon in the fandom wants a dragon pillow. resulting in a giant head smashing back braking hug.
> 
> I wish we dragons ruled the fandom. ^.=.^


Granted! But now everyone else is mad and may overthrow the dragon throne! o-o

I wish I had more money for art with my dergen!~ ^-^


----------



## shapeless0ne (May 21, 2016)

Nemnth said:


> Granted! But now everyone else is mad and may overthrow the dragon throne! o-o
> 
> I wish I had more money for art with my dergen!~ ^-^


don't we all. >.=.>


----------



## Volvom (May 21, 2016)

Nemnth said:


> Granted! But now everyone else is mad and may overthrow the dragon throne! o-o
> 
> I wish I had more money for art with my dergen!~ ^-^


Granted, but of course all that money is Monopoly money!

I wish to be famour artist!


----------



## Traven V (May 21, 2016)

Volvom said:


> Granted, but of course all that money is Monopoly money!
> 
> I wish to be famour artist!



granted now your an absolute popufur!!!!! 

I wish I could become a famous singer.


----------



## Kioskask (May 21, 2016)

Traven V said:


> granted now your an absolute popufur!!!!!
> 
> I wish I could become a famous singer.


Granted, you are a famous singer. However, you are not famous because of your singing, you are famous for running naked through the streets of Manhattan.

I wish I was taller.


----------



## Saokymo (May 21, 2016)

Kioskask said:


> Granted, you are a famous singer. However, you are not famous because of your singing, you are famous for running naked through the streets of Manhattan.
> 
> I wish I was taller.


Granted - you are now taller! Unfortunately you will now slam your head into every single door frame you cross through, ever.

I wish I had more energy to keep up with my kid on Saturday mornings.


----------



## Traven V (May 21, 2016)

Saokymo said:


> Granted - you are now taller! Unfortunately you will now slam your head into every single door frame you cross through, ever.
> 
> I wish I had more energy to keep up with my kid on Saturday mornings.



granted but now the kids can't keep up with you

I wish i had some MacDonald's


----------



## TidesofFate (May 21, 2016)

Granted, but your kid doesn't have energy to keep up with you because you're too fast.

and Traven, granted, but you die from it.

I wish for a bachelor pad.


----------



## Traven V (May 21, 2016)

(Nuuuuuuu) granted but it's just that a bachelor pad meaning no ladies allowed but it's swanky.

I wish for world piece.


----------



## TidesofFate (May 21, 2016)

Granted, but I you only get a piece of the world and nothing else.

I wish for enough money to buy a Star Wars cosplay costume for Anime Expo.


----------



## Simo (May 21, 2016)

Granted. But it's a really cheesy looking Princess Leah costume, in very high heels, and lends you the appearance of a very tacky drag-queen. Plus, you find it really hard to walk in said heels, and are always tripping and falling.

I wish I lived in a classic English style Tudor home, with a nice library and a cozy fireplace, in which I could sit in a comfortable chair, enjoy a nice cigar, a glass of Cognac, and read Thomas Mann's _Dr. Faustus_, while contemplating the passages concerning the line between the organic and inorganic, in a dreamy, leisurely way, in total peace and quiet.


----------



## reptile logic (May 21, 2016)

Granted. You're stuck and a time loop and know it.

I wish for whirled peas.


----------



## Saokymo (May 21, 2016)

reptile logic said:


> Granted. You're stuck and a time loop and know it.
> 
> I wish for whirled peas.


Granted. You now have to clean the mess of peas from the walls and ceiling of your kitchen.

I wish for a robot that does all the housework for me.


----------



## Nemnth (May 21, 2016)

Kioskask said:


> Granted, but the robot turns on you and makes you it's slave.
> 
> I wish for chocolate.





Kitsune633 said:


> Granted, but it malfunctions on the job, then explodes.
> 
> 
> I wish for a delicious cup of coffee.


----------



## Kioskask (May 21, 2016)

Nemnth said:


>


Oops


----------



## Simo (May 21, 2016)

Saokymo said:


> Granted. You now have to clean the mess of peas from the walls and ceiling of your kitchen.
> 
> I wish for a robot that does all the housework for me.



Granted. The robot does all your housework, but is also very loud, at least as loud as a chainsaw, and is always on. The noise eventually drives you from your home, but the robot follows you wherever you go, and, as it is atomic powered, never shuts off, and drives you slowly insane.

I wish more furs with skunk fursonas would join the site, and we could band together as a skunk-gang, and take over, and be the boss of everyone.


----------



## Nemnth (May 21, 2016)

Simo said:


> Granted. The robot does all your housework, but is also very loud, at least as loud as a chainsaw, and is always on. The noise eventually drives you from your home, but the robot follows you wherever you go, and, as it is atomic powered, never shuts off, and drives you slowly insane.
> 
> I wish more furs with skunk fursonas would join the site, and we could band together as a skunk-gang, and take over, and be the boss of everyone.


Granted! But the previous dragon throne is not at all thrilled by the new system. In this case, the dragon throne works to overthrow the skunk gang and reclaim power!

I wish we would all just share the power and get along


----------



## TidesofFate (May 21, 2016)

Granted, but everyone is nice to all the people they know except you.

I wish for a gumby suit.


----------



## Orangeade Wolf (May 21, 2016)

Granted,but you can NEVER take it off,leaving you in that suit with nothing but your own waste

I wish for some cold orange soda


----------



## Simo (May 21, 2016)

Granted! You are abducted by aliens who perform various tests on you, one of which is sealing you in a giant clear cylinder, filled with orange soda. Sadly, this is the last experiment they are able to perform.

I wish a race of fox-like aliens would visit the earth, and probe all furries.


----------



## TidesofFate (May 22, 2016)

Granted, but one of them impregnates you.

I wish for Simo to become Raptor Jesus.


----------



## Zipline (May 22, 2016)

Granted, but Simo brings in a new era of dinosaurs that enslave the human race. 

I wish for a family! :'c


----------



## rhansen23 (May 22, 2016)

Granted, but Every other week is a reunion of the most annoying second and third cousins, and they ALL have to stay in your room after dinner.

I wish for a good book!


----------



## Zipline (May 22, 2016)

Granted, but you will enjoy the book so much that you can never stop rereading it causing you to neglect your work and friends. 

I wish to be a real dog.


----------



## Khaiyote (May 22, 2016)

Granted! The most interesting description of all is written on the back of the cover, and when you open it up to give it a read, you realize it is in a foreign language.
I wish for a bottle of unicorn tears.


----------



## TidesofFate (May 22, 2016)

Granted, but you have to be my slave for 3 years first.

I wish I beat Obi-Wan on Mustafar.


----------



## RocketExecutiveCypress (May 22, 2016)

TidesofFate said:


> Granted, but you have to be my slave for 3 years first.
> 
> I wish I beat Obi-Wan on Mustafar.



Granted, but you are soon quickly defeated by Jar-Jar Binks who is now a powerful Sith Lord.

I wish I had the power to control time.


----------



## TidesofFate (May 22, 2016)

RocketExecutiveCypress said:


> Granted, but you are soon quickly defeated by Jar-Jar Binks who is now a powerful Sith Lord.
> 
> I wish I had the power to control time.


Granted, but you have to marry Darth Vader and can't divorce or cheat(but I can). 

I wish I didn't die at the end.


----------



## Elohiim_Koshiiri (May 22, 2016)

TidesofFate said:


> Granted, but you have to marry Darth Vader and can't divorce or cheat(but I can).
> 
> I wish I didn't die at the end.



Your wish is Granted, however George Lucas makes horrible sequels and Jar Jar is stuck with you forever.

I wish FA was back up


----------



## RocketExecutiveCypress (May 22, 2016)

Elohiim_Koshiiri said:


> Your wish is Granted, however George Lucas makes horrible sequels and Jar Jar is stuck with you forever.
> 
> I wish FA was back up



Granted, FA is now back with full features. However it becomes incredibly slow for the rest of your days and whenever you upload a photo it crashes 60% of the time before the upload is complete.

I wish I didn't have to work ever again.


----------



## PlusThirtyOne (May 22, 2016)

Fine then. You don't have to work ever again but it's because you're now a disabled quadriplegic.  Enjoy all your newfound free time with virtually no way to spend it.

i wish i didn't have to pay for anything; goods and services were given for free in exchange for a simple "Thank you".


----------



## TidesofFate (May 22, 2016)

Granted, but your food is poisoned.

I wish I didn't have a corrupt wish.


----------



## Kitsune633 (May 22, 2016)

Granted but it becomes corrupted anyways.

I wish for a tuna sandwich.


----------



## RocketExecutiveCypress (May 22, 2016)

Kitsune633 said:


> Granted but it becomes corrupted anyways.
> 
> I wish for a tuna sandwich.



Granted but there's a screw in the tuna.

I wish for a new hat.


----------



## Kioskask (May 22, 2016)

RocketExecutiveCypress said:


> Granted but there's a screw in the tuna.
> 
> I wish for a new hat.


Granted, but someone put super glue around the inside, so to take it off you need to rip out your hair.

I wish for the ability to speak to animals.


----------



## Julen (May 22, 2016)

Granted but you can't talk back to humans

I wish for some 5.56 ammunition and some nuka cola...


----------



## TidesofFate (May 22, 2016)

Granted, but you become a slave and your slaver takes it away.
I wish had a corrupted wish.


----------



## Kitsune633 (May 22, 2016)

Granted, it implodes on itself.


I wish I had superpowers.


----------



## Nemnth (May 23, 2016)

Granted! But it's x-ray vision and you can never turn it off, this includes while you're sleeping

I wish the days would go faster so AC would come quicker


----------



## Stalagmike (May 23, 2016)

Granted, You are on your deathbed thinking "where did the days go", but at least you have AC



 
I wish everything was free, for me


----------



## Julen (May 23, 2016)

Granted but everytime you get something you are forced to watch this video:





I wish for a friend.
..


----------



## Zipline (May 23, 2016)

Julen said:


> Granted but everytime you get something you are forced to watch this video:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Granted, but it is a ghost that no one else can see or hear.

I wish to star on a tv show.


----------



## Xeophaedus (May 23, 2016)

Zipline said:


> Granted, but it is a ghost that no one else can see or hear.
> 
> I wish to star on a tv show.



Granted, but its the remade version of the powerpuff girls.

I wish I ruled the world.


----------



## shapeless0ne (May 23, 2016)

Xeophaedus said:


> Granted, but its the remade version of the powerpuff girls.
> 
> I wish I ruled the world.


granted, but a week in your rule a global Revelation starts and removes you form power.

I wish I knew more avians.


----------



## Nemnth (May 23, 2016)

shapeless0ne said:


> granted, but a week in your rule a global Revelation starts and removes you form power.
> 
> I wish I knew more avians.


Granted! But they're actually avians in real life too. They where trained by the government to spy on us furries and to infiltrate our ranks and to learn more about us.

I wish college would stop being so boring


----------



## Kitsune633 (May 23, 2016)

Granted, but it takes 20 years to graduate.


I wish I could speak in a British accent.


----------



## Zipline (May 24, 2016)

Kitsune633 said:


> "I wish I could speak in a British accent".


Granted, but your accent is so thick that everyone misunderstands you.
I wish for snow!


----------



## Nemnth (May 24, 2016)

Zipline said:


> Granted, but your accent is so thick that everyone misunderstands you.
> I wish for snow!


Granted! But it turns out to be yellow snow! Don't eat it!

I wish I could teleport!


----------



## TidesofFate (May 24, 2016)

Granted, but you get teleported into a dark alley and you get mugged. Now you have no clothes.

I wish the Star Wars EU fanboys stopped complaining that the Expanded Universe wasn't officially considered canon anymore.


----------



## BayouBaby (May 24, 2016)

TidesofFate said:


> Granted, but you get teleported into a dark alley and you get mugged. Now you have no clothes.
> 
> I wish the Star Wars EU fanboys stopped complaining that the Expanded Universe wasn't officially considered canon anymore.


Granted, but Disney decides to re-do Episodes I-VI and completely re-write everything George Lucas ever did. 

I wish I could turn into a anthropomorphic animal at will.


----------



## Saokymo (May 24, 2016)

BayouBaby said:


> Granted, but Disney decides to re-do Episodes I-VI and completely re-write everything George Lucas ever did.
> 
> I wish I could turn into a anthropomorphic animal at will.


Granted. Unfortunately you can't change back, so you're stuck that way forever.

I wish I had more tamales.


----------



## Deer_Love (May 24, 2016)

Saokymo said:


> Granted. Unfortunately you can't change back, so you're stuck that way forever.
> 
> I wish I had more tamales.


Granted! They've all gone bad and will give you food poisoning.

I wish for.. An online art program•3•


----------



## Saokymo (May 24, 2016)

Deer_Love said:


> Granted! They've all gone bad and will give you food poisoning.
> 
> I wish for.. An online art program•3•


Death by tamales isn't the worst thing in the world.

Granted! Unfortunately you hit the wrong download link and your computer is wiped out by a virus.
I wish... to know what to wish for next cos my life is actually pretty decent over all.


----------



## Deer_Love (May 24, 2016)

Granted! Your life suddenly becomes horrible.

I wish for a new computer since mine apparently got wiped and I want a better one!!


----------



## Nemnth (May 24, 2016)

Granted! But you never specified what type! So you get a literal brick computer that can only turn on with a specific amount of power which fluctuates during the day. Oh, there's also no way for a monitor to plug into it too.

I wish I wasn't tired of pizza (I work at Dominos)


----------



## Simo (May 24, 2016)

Granted! You now work at Kentucky Fried Chicken, and are forced to dress like Col. Sanders, and you become very, very tired of fried chicken.

I wish there were some Fossas in the furry fandom, so we could have a wild, exciting time.


----------



## Zipline (May 24, 2016)

BayouBaby said:


> Granted, but Disney decides to re-do Episodes I-VI and completely re-write everything George Lucas ever did.
> 
> I wish I could turn into a anthropomorphic animal at will.


Granted but someone takes a video of you transforming and you get kidnapped by the government for testing. 
I wish I had a wallet that would always have exactly $6 in it at all times.


----------



## Nemnth (May 24, 2016)

Granted! But it's glued to the wallet. That's why there's always $6 in it.

I wish KFC didn't give me head aches


----------



## Zipline (May 24, 2016)

Nemnth said:


> Granted! But it's glued to the wallet. That's why there's always $6 in it.
> 
> I wish KFC didn't give me head aches


Granted, It now gives you diarrhea. 
I wish I had a dog that could speak english.


----------



## shapeless0ne (May 25, 2016)

granted, you now have a dog that can speak and thinks he's your master.

I wish I could become a anthropomorphic animal.


----------



## Zipline (May 25, 2016)

Ganted, but 


shapeless0ne said:


> granted, you now have a dog that can speak and thinks he's your master.
> 
> I wish I could become a anthropomorphic animal.


Granted, but you change back and forth and can not decide when. (Maybe you are in a job interview and turn into a dragon. )
I wish I owned my own country.


----------



## Nemnth (May 25, 2016)

Granted! But the country is full of a bunch of furries wanting to party constantly!

I wish I was better at making music


----------



## Zipline (May 25, 2016)

Nemnth said:


> I wish I was better at making music


Granted, you can now play perfect violin but are deaf. 
I wish I was good at magic tricks.


----------



## Hazelmere (May 26, 2016)

Zipline said:


> Granted, you can now play perfect violin but are deaf.
> I wish I was good at magic tricks.



Granted! You can't control what you disappear. Random audience members have vanished during your magic shows.

I wish I was a unicorn.


----------



## Simo (May 26, 2016)

Granted! But due to your exotic nature, you're hunted down, captured, and put in a petting zoo, where you have to give rides to really bratty little kids all day, with rainbows  and flowers dyed into your fur.

I wish Disney would spend the money to do really detailed hand painted/drawn animation, like they did in cartoons like Bambi.


----------



## Moderator-Gazelle (May 26, 2016)

Simo said:


> Granted! But due to your exotic nature, you're hunted down, captured, and put in a petting zoo, where you have to give rides to really bratty little kids all day, with rainbows  and flowers dyed into your fur.
> 
> I wish Disney would spend the money to do really detailed hand painted/drawn animation, like they did in cartoons like Bambi.



Granted, but all the movies are about the same Disney Princesses for the next 15 years with no new content. Also to raise the money they stopped funding Pixar.

I wish for cell phone service all the time.


----------



## PlusThirtyOne (May 26, 2016)

You can have your cell service and place calls from anywhere with perfect reception and no roaming charges. -BUT you'll be tormented 24/7 by telemarketers and butt dials.

i wish i was a mod on this forum.


----------



## Moderator-Gazelle (May 26, 2016)

PlusThirtyOne said:


> You can have your cell service and place calls from anywhere with perfect reception and no roaming charges. -BUT you'll be tormented 24/7 by telemarketers and butt dials.
> 
> i wish i was a mod on this forum.



(THE HORROR)

Granted but you must give up your name and likeness for an anonymous userna..m.. oh.

I wish first class didn't cost so much.


----------



## Simo (May 26, 2016)

Granted. It's free, but the professor conducts his lectures with a 500w Megaphone, at full volume, such that a short while into the semester, you're completely deaf. 

I wish I had a patch of sweet, juicy prize-winning watermelons, down in Alabama.


----------



## Nemnth (May 26, 2016)

Granted! But Gallagher comes around and starts smashing them all!

I wish I could buy candy with a nickel or a dime!


----------



## Julen (May 26, 2016)

Granted but it's just old, and hard candy.



I wish i was on holydays


----------



## Julen (May 26, 2016)

Kioskask said:


> Granted, but the candy is excrement flavoured.
> 
> I wish I was omniscient.


That timing tho jesus christ


----------



## Simo (May 27, 2016)

Kioskask said:


> Granted, but the candy is excrement flavoured.
> 
> I wish I was omniscient.



Granted! But only in the sense of being an omniscient narrator, while writing fiction...in this case, an even worse equal to the Twilight Series, that only sells a a dozen copies.

I wish I could take a month long vacation, exploring the wilderness and coastlines of Madagascar.


----------



## Julen (May 27, 2016)

Granted but on your way over Madagascar your plane crashes but you survive and you end up recreating all the episodes of Lost.


I wish i knew how to speak english properly


----------



## Simo (May 27, 2016)

(Ug...that show was a kind of torture to me: I had a housemate who watched it, but from the bad dialog to the way it never made sense made me feel the only thing I'd lost was my sanity!)

Granted! You can know speak English properly, but only by using sign language.

I wish I had a grand, historic Villa on the French Riviera, and endless money to host a non-stop furry party.


----------



## modfox (May 27, 2016)

granted but you have cancer

i wish to have a pet propeller called john


----------



## Zipline (May 27, 2016)

modfox said:


> granted but you have cancer
> 
> i wish to have a pet propeller called john


Granted, but John flys away after you forget to feed him.


----------



## Simo (May 27, 2016)

You forgot to make a wish, Zipline!

For that, I'll make one for you:

Zipline: I wish I was a kitty cat, with a solid gold litter box.

Granted: But it's never changed, and bandits steal the litter box, and melt it down, forgetting that you're in it at the time.

OK, now, I make a wish!

I wish instead of normal kisses, everyone gave people kisses like a dog does.


----------



## Julen (May 27, 2016)

Granted but everyones breath smells like sh*t 

I wish i could forget this image without having to shoot myself in the head in the process


----------



## Zipline (May 27, 2016)

Granted, you will now only think of this image: 
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	



Vault Boy Approved!
I wish I had echolocation.


----------



## Julen (May 27, 2016)

Zipline said:


> Granted, you will now only think of this image:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


It's official i am coming for you







Jk


----------



## Kitsune633 (May 30, 2016)

Zipline said:


> Granted, you will now only think of this image:
> 
> 
> 
> ...





Granted, but you are now blind.


I wish for some coffee.


----------



## Julen (May 30, 2016)

Granted but when you get your hot coffee you just spill it all over your body


I wish i was this guy


----------



## Simo (May 30, 2016)

Granted, but as a G-rated MLP version, where you say nice things to each other in the voices of Pinkie Pie and Flutter-Shy.

I wish I could get paid a million dollars a year, for dressing up in a Skunk Fursuit as a job.


----------



## Zipline (May 30, 2016)

Granted, you now entertain Justin Beaver but little kids will always harass you when you suit in public at his shows (pulling your tail, kicking you, exc..).
I wish I would not overheat while wearing my fursuit.


----------



## Nemnth (May 30, 2016)

Granted! But now you're extremely cold as a air conditioning system was installed on the coldest setting and can't be adjusted nor fixed!

I wish I could get a roommate for Anthrocon 2016


----------



## Zipline (May 30, 2016)

Nemnth said:


> I wish I could get a roommate for Anthrocon 2016


Granted, but it is a judgemental old woman who thinks you are her son and is disappointed. 
I wish I was a better artist.


----------



## shapeless0ne (May 30, 2016)

Zipline said:


> Granted, but it is a judgemental old woman who thinks you are her son and is disappointed.
> I wish I was a better artist.


granted, but now all you can draw is grey wolves.

I wish I had a lion fur-suit by this guy Clockwork Creature — Gallery


----------



## rhansen23 (May 30, 2016)

shapeless0ne said:


> granted, but now all you can draw is grey wolves.
> 
> I wish I had a lion fur-suit by this guy Clockwork Creature — Gallery



Granted, but the suit is 6 sizes too small.

I wish I had a paid vacation to the Louve.


----------



## Closer-To-The-Sun (May 30, 2016)

rhansen23 said:


> Granted, but the suit is 6 sizes too small.
> 
> I wish I had a paid vacation to the Louve.


Granted, but you travel by foot.

I wish I had better art talent.


----------



## shapeless0ne (May 31, 2016)

Closer-To-The-Sun said:


> Granted, but you travel by foot.
> 
> I wish I had better art talent.


granted but now all can make is stuff like this 
	

	
	
		
		

		
			





I wish people would just stop making that reality TV shit.


----------



## Nemnth (May 31, 2016)

Granted! But not everyone can only make crappy movies with bad story lines like twilight!

I wish I could teleport


----------



## Closer-To-The-Sun (May 31, 2016)

Granted, but you have dementia.

I wish the person I'm talking with understands that his OC is a Mary-Sue.


----------



## Simo (May 31, 2016)

@shapeless0ne : Granted! But you're required to also wear a wetsuit underneath it, which makes it very, very hot. It also then sticks to the fursuit, leaving you trapped inside, and thus makes for one of the more interesting trips to the emergency rooms. Your photo appears on the local news, and is then plastered all over the internet, becoming even more famous than that CSI episode.

@Closer-To-The-Sun :Granted: But it just makes me RP 10 times as much, with 10 times as many characters. There is no escaping me in any RPs, anywhere.

I wish I had a water-park in my back yard, with lots of amazing rides and polls and fountains, just for me and my friends.


----------



## Closer-To-The-Sun (May 31, 2016)

Granted, but you're banned from entering after taking a crap in the pool in front of everyone

I wish I could go to CaliFur for the whole weekend instead of just Saturday.


----------



## Nemnth (Jun 7, 2016)

Granted! But no one else is there during the other days! What a bore!

I wish my room wasn't so hot!


----------



## x-zombii (Jun 7, 2016)

Granted, but your room will of ever smell like cabbage

I wish I could juggle


----------



## Julen (Jun 7, 2016)

Granted but you're forced to stay as an intern in a ultra-strict boring private school.


I wish i had some Jolly Ranchers


----------



## Closer-To-The-Sun (Jun 7, 2016)

Granted, they are all wasabi flavored.

I wish I was able to buy my entire comic pull list.


----------



## StealYourFace (Jun 11, 2016)

Closer-To-The-Sun said:


> Granted, they are all wasabi flavored.
> 
> I wish I was able to buy my entire comic pull list.


Granted, but they're used and all came from a house with teething babies who thought comic books felt soothing.

I wish I could quit nicotine altogether.


----------



## Closer-To-The-Sun (Jun 11, 2016)

Granted, now you are addicted to tacos. Wait, that actually sounds nice.

I wish I had a job I could be happy about and excited to work at.


----------



## x-zombii (Jun 11, 2016)

granted, you are now a stripper

I wish I could slay a dragon


----------



## Vince_Werewolf (Jun 11, 2016)

Granted, but you can slay Dragon-type pokemons only.

I wish I didn't get to read any Rukis comics... (*shakes head*)


----------



## StealYourFace (Jun 11, 2016)

Vince_Werewolf said:


> Granted, but you can slay Dragon-type pokemons only.
> 
> I wish I didn't get to read any Rukis comics... (*shakes head*)


Granted, but you've also forgotten half of everything else you've ever read.

I wish my workplace served hot sandwiches.  I'm getting tired of cold cut.


----------



## Closer-To-The-Sun (Jun 12, 2016)

Granted, but they are too hot. Perhaps _three_ hot.

I wish I could go to all the conventions I wanted


----------



## TidesofFate (Jun 12, 2016)

Granted, but they're all tree conventions.

I wish for free food


----------



## Closer-To-The-Sun (Jun 12, 2016)

Granted, it's rotten beef.

I wish my car worked better



TidesofFate said:


> Granted, but they're all tree conventions.



Joke's on you, that sounds neat.


----------



## Closer-To-The-Sun (Jun 12, 2016)

Granted, that's all you can understand.

I wish I didn't have this headache


----------



## Zipline (Jun 12, 2016)

Granted, but your leg has fallen asleep.  
I wish I had perfect muscle memory and could pick up physical talents very fast.


----------



## Zipline (Jun 12, 2016)

Kioskask said:


> 나는 당신이 무슨 말을하는지 이해가 안 돼요, 난 단지 한국어 를 구사합니다!!


죄송합니다, 당신은 스팸 봇 이라는 의혹 에서 금지 되었습니다.


----------



## Azrion/Zhalo (Jun 12, 2016)

I can't understandeth yee!!


----------



## Zipline (Jun 12, 2016)

Kioskask said:


> 아마 지금 중지해야


나는 비꼬는 로봇 입니다. 연삭 소음 음 (웃음)


----------



## Zipline (Jun 13, 2016)

Kioskask said:


> 당신은 당신이 로봇 말할나요?


나는 마법의 재미 있은 개 로봇 입니다


----------



## Zipline (Jun 13, 2016)

Kioskask said:


> 알고 있었어!
> 
> 
> 우리는 아마 한국어 이 스레드를 차단 중지해야 ...


아니, 난 비밀 요원 입니다. 나는 모든 스팸 을 차단


----------



## Azrion/Zhalo (Jun 13, 2016)

Keep the Korean to the spam bots, or I might start to think you 2 are also spam bots


----------



## Zipline (Jun 13, 2016)

Me? Counld not be. FREE NY DIPLOMAS. I is human VAT34. CLICK LINK. I mean beep. I am no korean bot. I am 팸 을 차단 ... "Human Music" 
*grinding noise* Run "Woof" *sparks fly out* FAKE X-BOKS HERE they iz on 3 us.


----------



## Azrion/Zhalo (Jun 13, 2016)

Zipline said:


> Me? Counld not be. FREE NY DIPLOMAS. I is human VAT34. CLICK LINK. I mean beep. I am no korean bot. I am 팸 을 차단 ... "Human Music"
> *grinding noise* Run "Woof" *sparks fly out* FAKE X-BOKS HERE they iz on 3 us.


That's JUST what a Synth would say!! (Now requires persuasion to believe otherwise)


----------



## Zipline (Jun 13, 2016)

*opens inventory* Knew i kept this around for a reason.. *Equips gray knit cap +2 persuasion* Heh heh heh.... *Pulls out gun and vat targets Azrion's leg crippling him. Runs off with steam coming out of my access panel.*


----------



## Azrion/Zhalo (Jun 13, 2016)

Zipline said:


> *opens inventory* Knew i kept this around for a reason.. *Equips gray knit cap +2 persuasion* Heh heh heh.... *Pulls out gun and vat targets Azrion's leg crippling him. Runs off with steam coming out of my access panel.*


*Bullet ricochets off of Azrion due to his extremely high luck and investment in the Ricochet Perk and causes Zipline to be instantly killed and explode into a bloody and cap-filled mess*


----------



## Zipline (Jun 13, 2016)

Azrion/Zhalo said:


> *Bullet ricochets off of Azrion due to his extremely high luck and investment in the Ricochet Perk and causes Zipline to be instantly killed and explode into a bloody and cap-filled mess*


*Reloads from last autosave* Now I know what you are going to do! *loaded back to interaction with Azrion*


Azrion/Zhalo said:


> That's JUST what a Synth would say!! (Now requires persuasion to believe otherwise)


*opens inventory, equips Stealth Boy* >:3 *Presses triangle to exit conversation, before Azrion becomes hostile activates Stealth Boy and escapes behind a tree as Azrion runs past.* Phew... Now to go back to killing everyone in my settlements. Got to keep my aim up to snuff.


----------



## Azrion/Zhalo (Jun 13, 2016)

Zipline said:


> *Reloads from last autosave* Now I know what you are going to do! *loaded back to interaction with Azrion*
> 
> *opens inventory, equips Stealth Boy* >:3 *Presses triangle to exit conversation, before Azrion becomes hostile activates Stealth Boy and escapes behind a tree as Azrion runs past.* Phew... Now to go back to killing everyone in my settlements. Got to keep my aim up to snuff.


*Pulls out a Never Ending Fat-Man* Hiding, are we?!


----------



## Zipline (Jun 13, 2016)

Azrion/Zhalo said:


> *Pulls out a Never Ending Fat-Man* Hiding, are we?!


*Pulls out a little boy* You wanna play huh?


----------



## Zipline (Jun 13, 2016)

Azrion/Zhalo said:


> *Pulls out a Never Ending Fat-Man* Hiding, are we?!


You wanna play huh? *Pulls out Little Boy Launcher* Only extra hot- hot sauce quenches my thirst! Your move


----------



## Azrion/Zhalo (Jun 13, 2016)

*He puts away the Never Ending Fat-Man* Must've just been the wind.


----------



## Edwin Baca (Jun 14, 2016)

Right Now I am playing to games


----------



## Closer-To-The-Sun (Jul 4, 2016)

How about we revive this?

I wish I wasn't so tired.


----------



## um_pineapplez (Jul 6, 2016)

Closer-To-The-Sun said:


> How about we revive this?
> 
> I wish I wasn't so tired.


Granted! You're extremely Hyperactive

I wish someone would poot dispenser here: ------------------------->


----------



## Yakamaru (Jul 6, 2016)

Granted, but it's a dispenser that never have anything you want.

I wish I could shapeshift freely.


----------



## Closer-To-The-Sun (Jul 6, 2016)

Granted, you can freely turn into Fred Durst and Justin Bieber.

I wish I had a new pair of boots


----------



## nessgamer159 (Jul 6, 2016)

Wish granted, the boots are too small to fit anyone.

I wish I had a high-end computer.


----------



## Yakamaru (Jul 6, 2016)

Granted, but it constantly fails in terms of hardware and software.

I wish I had all the problems in the world.


----------



## Closer-To-The-Sun (Jul 6, 2016)

Granted, but now you also have all of the problems.

I wish I didn't just have a part time job, but full time


----------



## um_pineapplez (Jul 7, 2016)

granted, but you forget them the day after you learn them.

I wish more people accepted the furry fandom (let's go there, shall we?)


----------



## RinkuTheRuffian (Jul 7, 2016)

Granted, but the fandom dies of a virus soon after.

I wish all wishes had zero repercussions from this day forward.


----------



## Yakamaru (Jul 7, 2016)

Granted, but you die at an early age of complete and absolute boredom.

I wish the EU and the Euro weren't going to crash and burn in the next 5-10 years time.


----------



## um_pineapplez (Jul 7, 2016)

Granted, but every other economy does.

I wish that Sonic 06 didn't suck.


----------



## Closer-To-The-Sun (Jul 7, 2016)

Granted, but Overwatch is garbage now, just like your waifu.

I wish cats could talk


----------



## Julen (Jul 7, 2016)

Granted but they say horrible things about you

I wish i had a better computer


----------



## nessgamer159 (Jul 7, 2016)

Granted, your computer fails upon booting up.

I wish I could draw better.


----------



## Closer-To-The-Sun (Jul 7, 2016)

Granted, but now you forgot how to math.

I wish I could speak and understand all languages


----------



## FlannelFox (Jul 7, 2016)

Granted, but you get falsely accused of a heinous crime and can never legally travel abroad.

I wish I could be a hermit but still have society's amenities.


----------



## Simo (Jul 7, 2016)

Granted! You're transformed into a hermit crab, and are the pet of an 8 year old boy. You have all the amenities of living in the latest glass aquarium, with your own little pond, and gravel beach, electric lighting, heat and there's even a computer, if only you could get to it!

I wish an army of 1,000,000 rabid baboons would invade the southern US while they slept...


----------



## Yakamaru (Jul 7, 2016)

Granted but it causes the baboons to turn into suicide bombers.

I wish I could instantly memorize everything I hear, see and smell.


----------



## nessgamer159 (Jul 7, 2016)

Granted, but you forget what you just memorized instantly after.

I wish I could travel in time.


----------



## Julen (Jul 7, 2016)

Granted but you accidentaly travel to Normandy in D-day and you get obliterated by a mortar shell


I wish i had a working pip-boy


----------



## um_pineapplez (Jul 7, 2016)

Granted, but it works for 40 seconds before exploding, taking your hand with it.

I wish we could SAVE Asriel.


----------



## Julen (Jul 7, 2016)

um_pineapplez said:


> Granted, but it works for 40 seconds before exploding, taking your hand with it.


(K. I'll just take a stimpak :3)


----------



## um_pineapplez (Jul 7, 2016)

Julen said:


> (K. I'll just take a stimpak :3)


no take-backs! :3


----------



## Julen (Jul 7, 2016)

um_pineapplez said:


> no take-backs! :3


( ._.  Damn you..)


----------



## shapeless0ne (Jul 13, 2016)

um_pineapplez said:


> Granted, but it works for 40 seconds before exploding, taking your hand with it.
> 
> I wish we could SAVE Asriel.


granted, but she tries to to kill you right afterword and can one shot.

I wish I had a ref sheet. >.<


----------



## FlannelFox (Jul 13, 2016)

shapeless0ne said:


> granted, but she tries to to kill you right afterword and can one shot.
> 
> I wish I had a ref sheet. >.<


Granted, but of course it's not of as any of your characters. 



Simo said:


> Granted! You're transformed into a hermit crab, and are the pet of an 8 year old boy. You have all the amenities of living in the latest glass aquarium, with your own little pond, and gravel beach, electric lighting, heat and there's even a computer, if only you could get to it!



I wish I could get to the computer.


----------



## Yakamaru (Jul 13, 2016)

Granted, but it doesn't work after you turn it on.

I wish I didn't have any problems.


----------



## um_pineapplez (Jul 13, 2016)

Yakamaru said:


> Granted, but it doesn't work after you turn it on.
> 
> I wish I didn't have any problems.


Granted, but you're now stuck in a problem-less time loop.

I wish for a pokeball.


----------



## shapeless0ne (Jul 18, 2016)

um_pineapplez said:


> Granted, but you're now stuck in a problem-less time loop.
> 
> I wish for a pokeball.


Granted, but you soon find that is actually just a painted over tennis-ball.
I wish i knew more dragon scalies.


----------



## FlannelFox (Jul 18, 2016)

shapeless0ne said:


> Granted, but you soon find that is actually just a painted over tennis-ball.
> I wish i knew more dragon scalies.


Granted, however the scalies are all the 'sonas of actual lizards whom, by nature, are terrible conversation.

I wish I could get a work-from-home thing going for me.


----------



## um_pineapplez (Jul 18, 2016)

Granted, but your computer gets a terminal virus on the first day.

I wish Wolf was back in Smash instead of Corrin.


----------



## Yakamaru (Jul 18, 2016)

Granted but then EVERYONE plays Wolf. For 2 years straight.

I wish the world wouldn't be so damn fascinating.


----------



## modfox (Jul 18, 2016)

Yakamaru said:


> Granted but then EVERYONE plays Wolf. For 2 years straight.
> 
> I wish the world wouldn't be so damn fascinating.


wish granted but every body eats pooh for dinner, lunch, breakfast

i wish to go to anthrocon


----------



## Forte (Jul 18, 2016)

Granted but you see no famous furs there ^-^

I wish to be my fursona~ x3


----------



## Kellan Meig'h (Jul 18, 2016)

Wish granted, but you suddenly find yourself at Area 51 - in a cage . . .

I wish my big block 3/4 ton truck got better gas mileage.


----------



## RandomNinja11 (Jul 18, 2016)

Wish granted but the middle-east claims all oil in the area to themselves causing the price of gas elsewhere to skyrocket.

I wish to get a cool skin on CS:GO because why the hell not?


----------



## um_pineapplez (Jul 18, 2016)

RandomNinja11 said:


> Wish granted but the middle-east claims all oil in the area to themselves causing the price of gas elsewhere to skyrocket.
> 
> I wish to get a cool skin on CS:GO because why the hell not?


Granted, but every newb starts pursuing you for it like f2ps and hats.

I wish F-Zero wasn't such a brutal racing game.


----------



## FlannelFox (Jul 18, 2016)

um_pineapplez said:


> Granted, but every newb starts pursuing you for it like f2ps and hats.
> 
> I wish F-Zero wasn't such a brutal racing game.


Granted, but you have to play as a Mario Kart character and all the other drivers in the game make fun of you for it.

I wish I had a comfier motorcycle seat.


----------



## Yakamaru (Jul 19, 2016)

Granted, but it's so comfy you don't ever wanna leave it.

I wish I had $100M on my account.


----------



## RandomNinja11 (Jul 19, 2016)

Granted, but Lord Gaben grants upon us another steam sale and before you know it, all of your money is gone again.

I wish I had a better mindset for computers


----------



## Besharia (Jul 19, 2016)

RandomNinja11 said:


> Granted, but Lord Gaben grants upon us another steam sale and before you know it, all of your money is gone again.
> 
> I wish I had a better mindset for computers



Granted, but you end up working for Apple.

I wish I could live in a world full of furries and monster girls.


----------



## lyar (Jul 19, 2016)

Besharia said:


> Granted, but you end up working for Apple.
> 
> I wish I could live in a world full of furries and monster girls.


Granted, but you get into a coma causing you to be unable to experience the beautiful world you wished for.

I wish I had telekinesis that only worked on naughty adult toys.


----------



## um_pineapplez (Jul 19, 2016)

lyar said:


> Granted, but you get into a coma causing you to be unable to experience the beautiful world you wished for.
> 
> I wish I had telekinesis that only worked on naughty adult toys.


Granted, but they go up the OTHER other hole that ISN'T your mouth.

I wish I (and 5 other friends) had a copy of Sburb.


----------



## Yakamaru (Jul 19, 2016)

Granted, but it doesn't work.

I wish I could fly.


----------



## Donut (Jul 19, 2016)

Yakamaru said:


> Granted, but it doesn't work.
> 
> I wish I could fly.



Granted, but you can only fly a few inches high.

I wish for the world's best donut.


----------



## um_pineapplez (Jul 19, 2016)

Donut said:


> Granted, but you can only fly a few inches high.
> 
> I wish for the world's best donut.


Granted, but you get a heart attack soon after finishing it.

I wish our copies of Sburb worked with no problems whatsoever, resulting in a successful session that isn't problematic in any way whatsoever, along with all 6 of us reaching god tier.


----------



## Yakamaru (Jul 19, 2016)

Granted, but once upon reaching God tier everyone stops playing even if the game is flawless.

I wish I weren't so addicted to Clicker Heroes.


----------



## Zipline (Jul 19, 2016)

Granted, but you cannot function without your fix of watching my little pony at least twice a day. 

I wish I could be paid in noodles.


----------



## um_pineapplez (Jul 19, 2016)

Zipline said:


> Granted, but you cannot function without your fix of watching my little pony at least twice a day.
> 
> I wish I could be paid in noodles.


Granted, but they're stale and won't cook no matter how long you boil 'em.

I wish for potatoes. Just....potatoes. not for eating or anything. Just a thing of potatoes


----------



## Rigby (Jul 19, 2016)

You get a metric ton of potatoes. Right now. Crashing from the Heavens straight at you. The impact is catastrophic. Thousands are injured, hundreds dead. Babies are crying. God help us all.

I wish for diaperfurs to become the most popular kink in the world.


----------



## um_pineapplez (Jul 19, 2016)

Rigby said:


> You get a metric ton of potatoes. Right now. Crashing from the Heavens straight at you. The impact is catastrophic. Thousands are injured, hundreds dead. Babies are crying. God help us all.


It doesn't matter. I got my wish. I got potatoes. I abused the system. There was no way to make anything negative out of it, as it was a neutral situation. 

In other words, I. *WIN.*


----------



## Yakamaru (Jul 19, 2016)

um_pineapplez said:


> It doesn't matter. I got my wish. I got potatoes. I abused the system. There was no way to make anything negative out of it, as it was a neutral situation.
> 
> In other words, I. *WIN.*


There's only one slight problem: They are all useless. And the government makes a potato tax, which you can't pay.


----------



## Rigby (Jul 19, 2016)

um_pineapplez said:


> It doesn't matter. I got my wish. I got potatoes. I abused the system. There was no way to make anything negative out of it, as it was a neutral situation.
> 
> In other words, I. *WIN.*


Are you serious? All those innocent babies? You tater'd those tots and you think you won. Disgusting.


----------



## um_pineapplez (Jul 19, 2016)

Yakamaru said:


> There's only one slight problem: They are all useless. And the government makes a potato tax, which you can't pay.


Nope. I don't think that's how this game works.


----------



## Yakamaru (Jul 19, 2016)

um_pineapplez said:


> Nope. I don't think that's how this game works.


"
Since we don't have a forum games board anymore (coughcough) I'm sure it's not completely unreasonable to have at least one game in General Discussions. I remember the old post having probably 50-70 pages. :'^)
Most of you know how to play, but I'll describe it anyway:
The user above you makes a wish. It is your job to grant it but to twist it so it has a negative impact. Then, you make a wish and the person below corrupts it, and so on. For example,
"I wish for ice cream."
"Granted. Your ice cream is melted and poisoned."
I'll start us off!~
I wish I could fly."

No one wins. You only continue making corrupt wishes. And so far, it's still your turn.


----------



## Zipline (Jul 19, 2016)

um_pineapplez said:


> Granted, but they're stale and won't cook no matter how long you boil 'em.
> 
> I wish for potatoes. Just....potatoes. not for eating or anything. Just a thing of potatoes


Jokes on you, i also use noodles as everyday objects. Houses, whips, lassos, spears and arrows, murder weapons, EVERTHING! >


----------



## um_pineapplez (Jul 19, 2016)

Zipline said:


> Jokes on you, i also use noodles as everyday objects. Houses, whips, lassos, spears and arrows, murder weapons, EVERTHING! >


Well, so we both found a way around the system. 


Yakamaru said:


> "
> Since we don't have a forum games board anymore (coughcough) I'm sure it's not completely unreasonable to have at least one game in General Discussions. I remember the old post having probably 50-70 pages. :'^)
> Most of you know how to play, but I'll describe it anyway:
> The user above you makes a wish. It is your job to grant it but to twist it so it has a negative impact. Then, you make a wish and the person below corrupts it, and so on. For example,
> ...


Someone commented before you. I was only gloating about my victory.


----------



## Kellan Meig'h (Jul 19, 2016)

Sigh . . .

*points to post #424*


----------



## FlannelFox (Jul 19, 2016)

Rigby said:


> You get a metric ton of potatoes. Right now. Crashing from the Heavens straight at you. The impact is catastrophic. Thousands are injured, hundreds dead. Babies are crying. God help us all.
> 
> I wish for diaperfurs to become the most popular kink in the world.


They become the most popular, but only in infamy. 

I think grass is stupid.  I wish my yard was full of rocks and moss instead.


----------



## nitrohusky (Jul 19, 2016)

granted but all the Rock's scream constantly 24/7

I wish I had a jetpack


----------



## Corrupt-Canine (Jul 19, 2016)

FlannelFox said:


> They become the most popular, but only in infamy.
> 
> I think grass is stupid.  I wish my yard was full of rocks and moss instead.



You have moss and rocks on your yard, except the rocks contains large traces of active uranium, turning everyone in the neighborhood into a radioactive wasteland. 

I wish every angsty edgy-wannabe teen, tween, and young adult wasn't able to pass on their genes to the next generation.


----------



## nitrohusky (Jul 19, 2016)

well I asked for a jetpack but instead I got the power of invisibility awesome


----------



## FlannelFox (Jul 19, 2016)

Corrupt-Canine said:


> the rocks contains large traces of active uranium


I'M RICH!!! 

(Sorry, go on...)


----------



## nitrohusky (Jul 19, 2016)

although I really wanted a jetpack

I mean seriously who's lamp do I have to rub to get a jetpack


----------



## Corrupt-Canine (Jul 20, 2016)

FlannelFox said:


> I'M RICH!!!
> 
> (Sorry, go on...)



Dammit! DX


----------



## Yakamaru (Jul 20, 2016)

We gonna get back on track in this thread, or?


----------



## FlannelFox (Jul 20, 2016)

Yakamaru said:


> We gonna get back on track in this thread, or?


I don't see anything wrong with responses.
Now you've got two wishes to grant. Get at it.


----------



## FlannelFox (Jul 20, 2016)

You know what...


nitrohusky said:


> granted but all the Rock's scream constantly 24/7
> 
> I wish I had a jetpack


It's one of those stupid ones that only works over bodies of water.



Corrupt-Canine said:


> You have moss and rocks on your yard, except the rocks contains large traces of active uranium, turning everyone in the neighborhood into a radioactive wasteland.
> 
> I wish every angsty edgy-wannabe teen, tween, and young adult wasn't able to pass on their genes to the next generation.


Granted, now you can't pass on your genes.






I want a pony. 
*clap clap*


----------



## nitrohusky (Jul 20, 2016)

come on I gave you an easy one  jetpacks are notoriously dangerous

I wish for a jetpack


----------



## nitrohusky (Jul 20, 2016)

again damn that refresh rate


----------



## Yakamaru (Jul 20, 2016)

Granted, but the jetpack doesn't work. After repeated attempts at trying to make it work it flies off into the distance without you, killing some random person in the nearby town.

I wish for a car.


----------



## nitrohusky (Jul 20, 2016)

nice... your Pony is a quadriplegic

your car is a Prius

I wish I had a Lamborghini


----------



## Corrupt-Canine (Jul 20, 2016)

Lol, I don't plan to have kids anyway.


----------



## Kellan Meig'h (Jul 20, 2016)

nitrohusky said:


> nice... your Pony is a quadriplegic
> 
> your car is a Prius
> 
> I wish I had a Lamborghini


You get a Lamborghini . . . tractor.

I wish for a new Gibson Les Paul


----------



## Simo (Jul 20, 2016)

Granted. But the skunk don't know what y'all talkin' about, so the Wolf is smashed into a delicious Pate, that dragons everywhere enjoy.

I wish I had a big 'ol sweet watermelon, down from North Carolina.


----------



## Simo (Jul 20, 2016)

Missed a few: Granted: But the Les Paul has his Zombie corpse playing nothing but Bieber

I wish skunks could be more common, as a fursona.


----------



## FlannelFox (Jul 20, 2016)

Granted, but they come with the smell,
and have to make pilgrimages to the Mephit con in Mississippi - dangerously close to redneck territory. 

I wish sleep was unnecessary.


----------



## Zipline (Jul 20, 2016)

FlannelFox said:


> Granted, but they come with the smell,
> and have to make pilgrimages to the Mephit con in Mississippi - dangerously close to redneck territory.
> 
> I wish sleep was unnecessary.


Dress like a dear with a hunting jacket on. They will think you are their girlfriend.


----------



## _Hushy (Jul 20, 2016)

FlannelFox said:


> Granted, but they come with the smell,
> and have to make pilgrimages to the Mephit con in Mississippi - dangerously close to redneck territory.
> 
> I wish sleep was unnecessary.



Granted. You're a jellyfish.

I wish I was in the same time zone as you guys..


----------



## um_pineapplez (Jul 20, 2016)

_Hushy said:


> Granted. You're a jellyfish.
> 
> I wish I was in the same time zone as you guys..


Granted, but life in said time zone is hell.

I wish that Heavy would win the vote in the MYM update instead of Pyro.


----------



## Besharia (Jul 20, 2016)

um_pineapplez said:


> Granted, but life in said time zone is hell.
> 
> I wish that Heavy would win the vote in the MYM update instead of Pyro.



Granted, but Heavy's update takes MYM into a new age of shitty-ness.

I wish to create my own universe.


----------



## Yakamaru (Jul 20, 2016)

Granted, but any laws you decide to create ends up being scrambled.


----------



## FlannelFox (Jul 20, 2016)

You forgot to make a wish so a bunch of ducks carry you away to the pit of doom.

I wish I had a shop full of cutting-edge fabrication tools.


----------



## Yakamaru (Jul 20, 2016)

Granted, but someone steals all of them.

I wish nothing happens.


----------



## um_pineapplez (Jul 20, 2016)

Yakamaru said:


> Granted, but someone steals all of them.
> 
> I wish nothing happens.


Granted. Literally. You're now frozen in a pocket dimension where nothing happens. ever. You soon fall into a pit of depression that you can't escape out of, ultimately ending your own life in an attempt to escape.

I wish another summer sale would happen.


----------



## TidesofFate (Jul 20, 2016)

Granted, but you'll stop telling your parents about everything you do. 

I wish @Zipline  told me about his fascination with noodles.


----------



## Zipline (Jul 20, 2016)

Granted, the secret gives you infinite knowledge which drives you mad.

I wish I could speak hooman.


----------



## um_pineapplez (Jul 20, 2016)

Zipline said:


> Granted, the secret gives you infinite knowledge which drives you mad.
> 
> I wish I could speak hooman.


Granted, but you can only do it once per person. It's the rules.

I wish Spongebob would just end already.


----------



## Yakamaru (Jul 20, 2016)

Granted, and so does any series and shows you like.

I wish for a new Android phone.


----------



## RileyTheOtter (Jul 20, 2016)

Granted but it gets hacked immediately after it's first use and used as a decoy signal source for the cyber-crime of the millenium, when the signal is traced by authorities it leads to you. At which point you are promptly arrested, thrown in a black-site prison and forced to listen to crickets chirping 24/7 at volumes just loud enough to keep you from sleeping , but quiet enough to drive you insane trying to find it, never realizing it's from speakers in the wall and so remains your fate until your death.

I wish i legally owned everything on the entire planet.


----------



## nitrohusky (Jul 20, 2016)

granted but your wife divorces you and leaves you with nothing

i wish I was the president of the United States


----------



## RileyTheOtter (Jul 20, 2016)

(Single so hah) granted, but your impeached and executed on inauguration day for conspiring to take over the planet. I wish i lived forever, never got sick, immune to every possible poison in past present or future existsnce, owned the entire universe, was singke with no kids, and had an endless supply of tacos made exactly to my taste that i could eat whenever i wanted that never went bad.


----------



## nitrohusky (Jul 20, 2016)

granted but Daleks figure out how to go to alternate realities and exterminate everything in your Universe

I wish for peace and prosperity for a thousand years


----------



## Generalguy64 (Jul 20, 2016)

Granted, but after 1000 years, the planet gets invaded by aliens and we aren't prepared due to our previous peace.

I wish there was a better candidate than Trump and Hilary.


----------



## RileyTheOtter (Jul 20, 2016)

Granted but he endorses Hilary after running as an opponent until the convention.

Wish i had a box of shuriken


----------



## um_pineapplez (Jul 20, 2016)

Abyssalrider said:


> Granted but he endorses Hilary after running as an opponent until the convention.
> 
> Wish i had a box of shuriken


Granted, but they're all dull and won't cut through anything.

I wish I had some better hats in TF2.


----------



## lyar (Jul 20, 2016)

Granted, your account gets hacked and you lose everything.

I wish the new Overwatch patch came out for consoles already.


----------



## RandomNinja11 (Jul 20, 2016)

Rigby said:


> You get a metric ton of potatoes. Right now. Crashing from the Heavens straight at you. The impact is catastrophic. Thousands are injured, hundreds dead. Babies are crying. God help us all.
> 
> I wish for diaperfurs to become the most popular kink in the world.


Granted, but nobody expresses it in any way nor do they admit it to anybody ever.

I wish I wasn't paired up with random toxic people in games all the time  (They get really annoying >.>)


----------



## RandomNinja11 (Jul 20, 2016)

lyar said:


> Granted, your account gets hacked and you lose everything.
> 
> I wish the new Overwatch patch came out for consoles already.


Granted but there are more bugs than ever due to the patch.

(same thing i wished above)


----------



## nitrohusky (Jul 20, 2016)

granted but everyone else and everything else is now annoying to you 

I wish for a company that made custom fursuits for less than $100


----------



## RileyTheOtter (Jul 20, 2016)

Granted but they're invisible to everyone but the owner so nobody will ever see them

I wish to forgo a wish


----------



## nitrohusky (Jul 20, 2016)




----------



## nitrohusky (Jul 20, 2016)

all right granted but immediately afterwards a toilet seat from outer space hits you in the head

I wish I was a famous songwriter


----------



## FlannelFox (Jul 20, 2016)

Generalguy64 said:


> I wish there was a better candidate than Trump and Hilary.


I've got to read up on them a little but I think I'm gonna vote libertarian. Kinda crazy, I was for Bernie. I just can't vote for either of those two. :\



nitrohusky said:


> I wish I was a famous songwriter


Granted, but to keep the fame all of your songs have to be targeted at young audiences of less than five years of age and be about internet cat videos.

I wish that I could play the sitar.


----------



## Yakamaru (Jul 20, 2016)

Granted, but you can only play the sitar, and nothing else. Not even games of any sort.

I wish I became immortal.


----------



## nitrohusky (Jul 20, 2016)

granted but you're eternally 130 years old and in a wheelchair

I wish I could tell my parents about the fandom


----------



## Generalguy64 (Jul 20, 2016)

nitrohusky said:


> granted but you're eternally 130 years old and in a wheelchair
> 
> I wish I could tell my parents about the fandom


Granted, but instead of disapproving, they decide to share their kinks with you too.

I wish to own my own pet Delphox.


----------



## Yakamaru (Jul 21, 2016)

Granted, but everyone hates it. 

I wish I were rich.


----------



## RandomNinja11 (Jul 21, 2016)

Granted, but you get a total sum of $1,000,000 all in pennies.

I wish the internet was faster and kept pooping out for me


----------



## Zipline (Jul 21, 2016)

nitrohusky said:


> all right granted but immediately afterwards a toilet seat from outer space hits you in the head


Did they become a grim reaper because of it?


----------



## nitrohusky (Jul 21, 2016)

yup


----------



## nitrohusky (Jul 21, 2016)

good to see someone got the reference


----------



## FlannelFox (Jul 21, 2016)

RandomNinja11 said:


> Granted, but you get a total sum of $1,000,000 all in pennies.
> 
> I wish the internet was faster and kept pooping out for me


The internet takes a quick bathroom break.

I wish I understood the toilet seat reference. :\


----------



## Simo (Jul 22, 2016)

Granted! But it requires you to remain seated on a toilet in a run-down truck stop in Tulsa for several weeks.

I wish the gyro and fries I ordered would get here now. I'm starving!


----------



## nitrohusky (Jul 22, 2016)

FlannelFox said:


> The internet takes a quick bathroom break.
> 
> I wish I understood the toilet seat reference. :\



it's a reference from a old TV show that aired on Syfy called Dead Like Me
in the show the Mir space station blows up and a lady gets hit by a toilet seat from space
witch kills her and she turns into a Grim Reaper


----------



## nitrohusky (Jul 22, 2016)

granted but the gyro has skunk meat in it

I wish I had $1,300 so I could buy a fursuit


----------



## DumbDeerGurl (Jul 22, 2016)

Granted: you owe 1300 to the Russian mafia, and must preform "jobs" in that suit to pay back every penny. 

I wish for a house of my own to live in.


----------



## nitrohusky (Jul 22, 2016)

granted but every morning you wake up and see this 
	

	
	
		
		

		
			




I wish I could find my car keys


----------



## Simo (Jul 22, 2016)

Granted! The car, however, is nowhere to be seen, and has been hot-wired by a bunch of delinquent teens on meth, and driven into a lake, only to be discovered years later.

I wish I could take a two week vacation to South Africa, and see the wildlife, and also Capetown and the beaches.


----------



## FlannelFox (Jul 22, 2016)

Simo said:


> I wish I could take a two week vacation to South Africa, and see the wildlife, and also Capetown and the beaches.


Granted, though the vacation was supposed to be a month long. It ended early when the wildlife decided it had a hankerin' for skunk meat...

I wish I had location independent job so I could cut & run, and go exploring on my motorbike.


----------



## Simo (Jul 22, 2016)

Granted! You cut and run, only it's through a mine field planed by some crazy survivalist, someplace in Idaho. Luckily, you live, and now have the world's fastest, turbo-charged wheel-chair, capable of speeds up to 120 mph. Careful in the mall!

I wish I was at a furry convention, with 500 furs, all in fursuits, and we were all slightly tipsy, and jumping on trampolines.


----------



## um_pineapplez (Jul 22, 2016)

Simo said:


> Granted! You cut and run, only it's through a mine field planed by some crazy survivalist, someplace in Idaho. Luckily, you live, and now have the world's fastest, turbo-charged wheel-chair, capable of speeds up to 120 mph. Careful in the mall!
> 
> I wish I was at a furry convention, with 500 furs, all in fursuits, and we were all slightly tipsy, and jumping on trampolines.


granted, but not all of you land right-side up.

I wish Nintendo would make another F-zero game.


----------



## RileyTheOtter (Jul 22, 2016)

Granted but it's buggier than Sonic The Hedgehog (2006)

I wish i could never die, be injured, get hungry or thirsty, and was immune to every disease and poison in all existance past present and future.


----------



## RandomNinja11 (Jul 22, 2016)

Granted, but you are forced to live the most fearful moment of your life over and over again

I wish that this wish had no downside


----------



## um_pineapplez (Jul 23, 2016)

RandomNinja11 said:


> Granted, but you are forced to live the most fearful moment of your life over and over again
> 
> I wish that this wish had no downside


Because you made such a stupid wish, you ALSO get dragged to the pit of despair!

I wish Derek Savage was in prison.


----------



## nitrohusky (Jul 23, 2016)

you should never speak he who shall not be named


----------



## RandomNinja11 (Jul 23, 2016)

um_pineapplez said:


> Because you made such a stupid wish, you ALSO get dragged to the pit of despair!
> 
> I wish Derek Savage was in prison.


I'm ashamed to have the same first name as him...


----------



## Yakamaru (Jul 26, 2016)

RandomNinja11 said:


> I'm ashamed to have the same first name as him...


A friend of mine is named Anders.

He's not shamed of his name, which were given by his parents. And neither should you.

As for Derek Savage: He's a biggoted hypocritical trash. Ignore him.



um_pineapplez said:


> Because you made such a stupid wish, you ALSO get dragged to the pit of despair!
> 
> I wish Derek Savage was in prison.


Granted, and you now have tastebuds in your anus.

I wish people I touch die 5 minutes after touching them.


----------



## FlannelFox (Jul 26, 2016)

Granted, but eventually you start to become lonely and it drives you mad. Kinda like Van Gogh, except instead of cutting off your ear you lop off something arguably much more important... 

I wished I owned a coffee shop in a nice downtown square some place.


----------



## um_pineapplez (Jul 26, 2016)

FlannelFox said:


> Granted, but eventually you start to become lonely and it drives you mad. Kinda like Van Gogh, except instead of cutting off your ear you lop off something arguably much more important...
> 
> I wished I owned a coffee shop in a nice downtown square some place.


granted, but the coffee is sh!t.

I wish I hadn't reset all my gen 1 Skylanders.


----------



## RandomNinja11 (Jul 26, 2016)

um_pineapplez said:


> granted, but the coffee is sh!t.
> 
> I wish I hadn't reset all my gen 1 Skylanders.


Granted but now you feel you have accomplished everything the game has to offer and soon quit playing.

I wish I had more time on my hands


----------



## biscuitfister (Jul 26, 2016)

RandomNinja11 said:


> Granted but now you feel you have accomplished everything the game has to offer and soon quit playing.
> 
> I wish I had more time on my hands


Granted! now you have watches on your fingers.

i wish i had a pilots license.


----------



## Zipline (Jul 26, 2016)

Granted, you now have a license but no one will hire you. 

I wish I did not need to eat, similar to a zombie.


----------



## biscuitfister (Jul 26, 2016)

Zipline said:


> Granted, you now have a license but no one will hire you.
> 
> I wish I did not need to eat, similar to a zombie.



Granted, but your friends and family soon think you suffer from an eating disorder and send you to a pych ward where you get forced fed through a hose everyday.

i wish i could visit South Korea again


----------



## RileyTheOtter (Jul 26, 2016)

Granted, but it's the day the war resumes.

Wish i was a master at any online pvp mode regardless what game it was in.


----------



## Julen (Jul 26, 2016)

Granted, but it's one of those pay to win games and you end up paying an absurd amount of money just to win in a videogame.

I wish i had some stick magazines for my ppsh-41


----------



## Kellan Meig'h (Jul 27, 2016)

Granted, but they have no springs followers or floor plates.

I wish I had a strobe box that would turn all red lights into green lights, making my trip to work easier.


----------



## Zipline (Jul 27, 2016)

Granted, the light turn green as you drive through them. Sadly it does not make the other lights red so you get in a car crash and become crippled. At least you get a good parking spot now! 

I wish I could deage food so it is safe to eat again


----------



## FlannelFox (Jul 27, 2016)

Granted! The food is totally safe! Doesn't necessarily mean that it tastes very safe again though...

I wish I had a swanky liquid cooled laptop so I could emulate games at 1AM without it getting all laggy.


----------



## Zipline (Jul 27, 2016)

Granted. You pour liquid on your laptop. It cools it down by short circuiting and never turns on again.

I wish I could domesticate any animal.


----------



## Yakamaru (Jul 27, 2016)

Granted, but the domesticated animals end up dying after 2 weeks because of you being the carrier of a deadly disease that only animals you domesticate gets infected with.

I wish for some Smirnoff Ice.


----------



## FlannelFox (Jul 27, 2016)

Granted, though you get plastered and wind up texting everyone you know. Including your grandma. err... 

I wish I had a freezer full of vegan ice cream.


----------



## biscuitfister (Jul 27, 2016)

FlannelFox said:


> Granted, though you get plastered and wind up texting everyone you know. Including your grandma. err...
> 
> I wish I had a freezer full of vegan ice cream.


Granted! but your friends and family abandon you

i wish i had a good paying job


----------



## FlannelFox (Jul 27, 2016)

biscuitfister said:


> Granted! but your friends and family abandon you


Worth it


----------



## shapeless0ne (Jul 27, 2016)

biscuitfister said:


> Granted! but your friends and family abandon you
> 
> i wish i had a good paying job


granted, but you now have a 13 hour shift and have to work over weekends.

i wish i had healing powers


----------



## biscuitfister (Jul 27, 2016)

shapeless0ne said:


> granted, but you now have a 13 hour shift and have to work over weekends.
> 
> i wish i had healing powers



Granted! but people make a cult to you thinking your the second coming and commit mass suicide to be one with you.

i wish i had a mountain dew


----------



## RandomNinja11 (Jul 28, 2016)

Granted, but it's doritos flavor.

I wish games would never get boring after a given time.


----------



## Yakamaru (Jul 28, 2016)

Granted, but the games becomes so good and you get so involved in them that you end up in hospital due to being malnourished due to a lack of eating and drinking.

I wish BLM would simply cease to exist.


----------



## Jarren (Jul 29, 2016)

Granted, the Bolivian Liberation Movement is no longer a thing and they are doomed to continue living as they were, you heartless bastard :V

I wish mosquitos and other blood sucking insects would stop biting me whenever I try to get anything done outside.


----------



## um_pineapplez (Jul 29, 2016)

Jarren said:


> Granted, the Bolivian Liberation Movement is no longer a thing and they are doomed to continue living as they were, you heartless bastard :V
> 
> I wish mosquitos and other blood sucking insects would stop biting me whenever I try to get anything done outside.


Granted, but every snake in the vicinity makes a beeline for you.

I wish the FUCKING ASSHATS ON TF2 WOULD STOP FIGHTING FOR A SECOND AND HELP ME TUNE THE GODDAMN TV!


----------



## Sladin5Ever (Jul 29, 2016)

um_pineapplez said:


> Granted, but every snake in the vicinity makes a beeline for you.
> 
> I wish the FUCKING ASSHATS ON TF2 WOULD STOP FIGHTING FOR A SECOND AND HELP ME TUNE THE GODDAMN TV!


Granted, but they helped you incorrectly and now your forever stuck with a bad TV set

I wish I wasn't so depressed and could actually improve my life with the snap of my fingers


----------



## Jarren (Jul 29, 2016)

Sladin5Ever said:


> Granted, but they helped you incorrectly and now your forever stuck with a bad TV set
> 
> I wish I wasn't so depressed and could actually improve my life with the snap of my fingers


Granted, but your feelings of sadness and inadequacy are transferred, tenfold, to the people you spend the most time with.

I wish gravity wasn't such a bitch.


----------



## Zipline (Jul 29, 2016)

Granted, gravity is now much stronger limiting your movements greatly. Good job ruining it for everyone.  

I wish I could keep what I find in my dreams.


----------



## Simo (Aug 1, 2016)

Zipline said:


> Granted, gravity is now much stronger limiting your movements greatly. Good job ruining it for everyone.
> 
> I wish I could keep what I find in my dreams.



Granted! But all you find from now on are lots of cute, fluffy skunks.

I wish I had an endless supply of noodles and fish.


----------



## Jarren (Aug 1, 2016)

Granted, but @Zipline knows about it, and there's nothing you can do to keep it safe from his attempts to pillage it.

I wish my father would finally find a buyer for his goddamn house.


----------



## Simo (Aug 1, 2016)

Granted! But the buyer pays little, and also, via hypnosis, forces all of you to be his unpaid slaves and servants, scrubbing floors, cooking, cleaning, and toiling, year after year...

I wish I was jumping on a trampoline with a bunch of cute, fluffy foxes!


----------



## um_pineapplez (Aug 1, 2016)

Simo said:


> Granted! But the buyer pays little, and also, via hypnosis, forces all of you to be his unpaid slaves and servants, scrubbing floors, cooking, cleaning, and toiling, year after year...
> 
> I wish I was jumping on a trampoline with a bunch of cute, fluffy foxes!


Granted, but they're all very savage foxes. (Aw, it's just a harmless, little bunny!)

I wish I could crouch in Super Mario Sunshine.


----------



## Yakamaru (Aug 1, 2016)

Granted, but you can only crouch now, and every mob, level and boss are 10000x times harder and faster with their attacks.

I wish Devon Tracey, aka Atheism-is-Unstoppable, would stop doxxing people, banning and blocking people who disagree with him, and be a total cuntbag.


----------



## Simo (Aug 1, 2016)

Granted! Now, he simply smiles as he vaporizes anyone who disagrees.

I wish I had a fully functioning 7-11 Slurpee machine, with 8 flavors, in my kitchen.


----------



## um_pineapplez (Aug 1, 2016)

Granted, but it explodes the first time you use it.

I wish I had a Strange Sydney Sleeper.


----------



## Yakamaru (Aug 1, 2016)

Granted, but now EVERYTHING gets nuked. Twice.

I wish I could wish for more wishes.


----------



## FlannelFox (Aug 2, 2016)

Granted! You may wish for more wishes! However they can only be crappy PG rated rule laden wishes like "I wish I had a puppy" or "I wish it wasn't raining outside". Even moderately mischievous stuff like Mentos & Coke is out.

...
I wish I had a puppy.


----------



## Synthex (Aug 2, 2016)

FlannelFox said:


> Granted! You may wish for more wishes! However they can only be crappy PG rated rule laden wishes like "I wish I had a puppy" or "I wish it wasn't raining outside". Even moderately mischievous stuff like Mentos & Coke is out.
> 
> ...
> I wish I had a puppy.


Granted! The puppy is blind, deaf, and has no legs.

I wish I could find a good job.


----------



## Simo (Aug 2, 2016)

Granted! You find a job at the local sewage treatment plant, fixing the frequent leaks and burst pipes in the 'input' section. But it pays well, and they provide haz-mat gear.

I wish I owned an olive grove in Italy, and lived in luxurious, historic Villa.


----------



## Jarren (Aug 2, 2016)

Granted. Unfortunately, it involves you being sent back in time to the last month's of the Western Roman empire. Within weeks there are Visigoths pillaging your land and burning your olives, Villa, and whatever else they cannot steal. Soon after, what's left of the Roman legions conscript you and you perish of cholera while on the march.

I wish we had some better candidates for the presidential  election this time around.


----------



## Synthex (Aug 2, 2016)

Jarren said:


> Granted. Unfortunately, it involves you being sent back in time to the last month's of the Western Roman empire. Within weeks there are Visigoths pillaging your land and burning your olives, Villa, and whatever else they cannot steal. Soon after, what's left of the Roman legions conscript you and you perish of cholera while on the march.
> 
> I wish we had some better candidates for the presidential  election this time around.


Granted. You end up with the ideal canidates for president. Unfortunately, they both choose terrible running mates, worse than the current candidates, and whichever one gets elected gets assassinated a week into office. World war three ensues.

I wish for a mountain of cheesecake.


----------



## Jarren (Aug 2, 2016)

Granted. But your first attempt to scale it results in an avalanche, burying you alive under several tonnes of high calorie confection.

I wish I'd stop getting stung by insects while at work


----------



## lockaboss (Aug 2, 2016)

Granted.but you will never stop getting stung at home

I wish i could draw super amazing things


----------



## RileyTheOtter (Aug 2, 2016)

Granted but everyone hates you for it, and after a week your murdered in your sleep out of jealousy.

I wish i had a an unlimited amount of money in my bank account.


----------



## C.Y.AN (Aug 2, 2016)

Granted. But for each dollar you spend, you lose a week of your lifespan.

I wish I was ludicrously attractive.


----------



## Shadowblackwolf (Aug 2, 2016)

C.Y.AN said:


> Granted. But for each dollar you spend, you lose a week of your lifespan.
> 
> I wish I was ludicrously attractive.


Granted. You will spend the rest of your life broke and unhappy.
I wish for the zombie apocalypse


----------



## Zipline (Aug 3, 2016)

Granted, you wake up and your whole family are zombies. In your panic you kill each one of them as you roam the house. You look outside for help or survivors but there are zombies everywhere. So you arm yourself with a metal baseball bat and go out to clean up the streets. It is not how you imagined. The zombies are running away from and making wet gasping noises after you hit them. It only makes the chase more enjoyable. On the last one you bend down in awe of the creature and notice something strange. Is that paint? Then you remember it is Halloween and Donald Trumps new law makes it mandatory to wear a zombie costume on Halloween. Good job, you were the monster all along. 

I wish I always knew what to say to persuade someone.


----------



## lockaboss (Aug 3, 2016)

granted but every time you persuaded someone thay whould kill them self

i wish for my furson a be real


----------



## Zipline (Aug 3, 2016)

lockaboss said:


> granted but every time you persuaded someone thay whould kill them self
> 
> i wish for my furson a be real



aww..
Granted but it is its own separate entity that tries to take your place by kidnapping you. 

I wish I could find anything interesting.


----------



## Yakamaru (Aug 3, 2016)

FlannelFox said:


> Granted! You may wish for more wishes! However they can only be crappy PG rated rule laden wishes like "I wish I had a puppy" or "I wish it wasn't raining outside". Even moderately mischievous stuff like Mentos & Coke is out.
> 
> ...
> I wish I had a puppy.


That is actually a good one. I wouldn't mind wishing for a kitten. Actually, a whole bunch of them. I could wish for Cola and Mentos seperately. :3

Ontopic:
Granted, but once you've "out-interested" something, which takes you only 0.5 seconds, you are immediately disgusted by it. Even if it's noodles.

I wish I were an all-powerful being.


----------



## Zipline (Aug 3, 2016)

NOT NOODLES?q?q?q??!!T34PBMI3MBTMVPMGLBMWTPMVQ4GMB  *faints* 
XC


----------



## Shadowblackwolf (Aug 3, 2016)

G


Yakamaru said:


> That is actually a good one. I wouldn't mind wishing for a kitten. Actually, a whole bunch of them. I could wish for Cola and Mentos seperately. :3
> 
> Ontopic:
> Granted, but once you've "out-interested" something, which takes you only 0.5 seconds, you are immediately disgusted by it. Even if it's noodles.
> ...


Granted, but your new home is a lamp, and you have to grant 3 wishes to whatever idiot rubs said lamp.
I wish for the ability to use FMA style Alchemy.


----------



## Yakamaru (Aug 3, 2016)

Shadowblackwolf said:


> G
> 
> Granted, but your new home is a lamp, and you have to grant 3 wishes to whatever idiot rubs said lamp.
> I wish for the ability to use FMA style Alchemy.


Hahaha, nice one!






Granted, but you lose an arm and a leg in the process due to some taboo shit you did when you were young. And your own mom is a Homonculus.

I wish I didn't have the need to have a cornea transplant on my eye last year.


----------



## Simo (Aug 3, 2016)

Granted! But these are not normal zombies, but ones that wear form-fitting, shiny gold-lame jumpsuits, and when they bite you, all that happens is that you buy a tu-tu, and give up your life for the ballet. Soon, everyone in the world is a ballet dancer, and things gradually get worse and worse, as there's no more food being produced, and infrastructure fails. But it looks pretty.

Edit: @Yakamaru: Granted, you get a glass eye instead. (Curious, I may have to have one soon, as well, due to a thinning cornea, called Keratoconus. Good luck, there, I feel for ya)

I wish a race of kindly, eco-friendly anthro-anteaters would take over the world.


----------



## lockaboss (Aug 3, 2016)

granted but thay brought a super virus that killed all humans 

i wish for the most amazing fursona


----------



## FlannelFox (Aug 3, 2016)

You have the world's most perfect fursona, it's incredible. However, you no longer have any furiends because everyone is either too shy to talk to you or they envy you.

I wish I could consciously change my body temperature to adapt to changing outside temperatures.


----------



## biscuitfister (Aug 3, 2016)

FlannelFox said:


> You have the world's most perfect fursona, it's incredible. However, you no longer have any furiends because everyone is either too shy to talk to you or they envy you.
> 
> I wish I could consciously change my body temperature to adapt to changing outside temperatures.


Granted but in cold places your body heat goes up to such a high degree you cook from the inside out.

I wish i clean my house and quit being lazy


----------



## TidesofFate (Aug 3, 2016)

Granted, but you have to eat Lyar's pasta for life.

I wish I had a cube.


----------



## FlannelFox (Aug 4, 2016)

TidesofFate said:


> I wish I had a cube.


You get a companion cube!
It has a really annoying laugh and won't leave you alone...

I wish I could get 8 hours worth of sleep in just a few minutes.


----------



## Synthex (Aug 4, 2016)

FlannelFox said:


> You get a companion cube!
> It has a really annoying laugh and won't leave you alone...
> 
> I wish I could get 8 hours worth of sleep in just a few minutes.


Granted! You now have all the sleep you need to survive in just a few moments, but you feel as though you never slept. You constantly feel tired and fatigued, but can never sleep more than those few minutes a day.

I wish I had wings.


----------



## Yakamaru (Aug 4, 2016)

Simo said:


> Edit: @Yakamaru: Granted, you get a glass eye instead. (Curious, I may have to have one soon, as well, due to a thinning cornea, called Keratoconus. Good luck, there, I feel for ya)


I found the surgery interesting, as I've never genuinely been really sick in my entire life. And Keratoconus was the reason I had mine. You have it on both eyes, but the other eye is the majority of the time no point in doing anything with, as the effects are so miniscule they are laughable.

During the surgery I asked the surgeon if I should do like a Lord of the Rings-esque screams 'n shit. And boy did he laugh his ass off. The British dude who seems to be a student or something laughed his ass off too. Told me no of course. (Bit of a bummer actually, people in the other room would shit their pants from my supposedly screams of "pain". Yes I know, I also have that kind of humor) Surgery went of course without any pain, and I've never experienced any pain or being uncomfortable during this period. Now that it's been 15 months and regular checkups on the eye I am going to call the hospital and have them remove the stitches.

The first couple months I don't really entice people to experience, but an interesting experience nonetheless. 16 hours of sleep a day for the first month or so. Lost 15 pounds over a month due to eating less and sleeping more. And boy did that change when my appetite came back. Gained those 15 pounds back in less than a week due to heavy kebab and hamburger eating. I was hungry as fuck, don't blame me. >_<

Ontopic: Granted, but you end up almost falling back down once you hit a certain altitude.

I wish I won the lottery.


----------



## C.Y.AN (Aug 4, 2016)

Yakamaru said:


> I found the surgery interesting, as I've never genuinely been really sick in my entire life. And Keratoconus was the reason I had mine. You have it on both eyes, but the other eye is the majority of the time no point in doing anything with, as the effects are so miniscule they are laughable.
> 
> During the surgery I asked the surgeon if I should do like a Lord of the Rings-esque screams 'n shit. And boy did he laugh his ass off. The British dude who seems to be a student or something laughed his ass off too. Told me no of course. (Bit of a bummer actually, people in the other room would shit their pants from my supposedly screams of "pain". Yes I know, I also have that kind of humor) Surgery went of course without any pain, and I've never experienced any pain or being uncomfortable during this period. Now that it's been 15 months and regular checkups on the eye I am going to call the hospital and have them remove the stitches.
> 
> ...



Granted. "The Lottery" is a nickname for Russian roulette, the "Winning Ticket" being the only chambered round. 

I wish could be my fursona.


----------



## Zipline (Aug 4, 2016)

C.Y.AN said:


> Granted. "The Lottery" is a nickname for Russian roulette, the "Winning Ticket" being the only chambered round.
> 
> I wish could be my fursona.



granted but it is hunting season and being part omelet makes you especially desirable to hunters. 

I wish I could make people forget an event of my choosing.


----------



## lockaboss (Aug 4, 2016)

granted but that event in time is erased forever

i wish i could travel to diffrent dimensions


----------



## Yakamaru (Aug 4, 2016)

Granted, but you end up being deformed in all of them.

I wish I could completely control chances and the possibility of things. 0% chance of having $100 million on my account? Boom, make that 100%. 0% of finding a girlfriend? Lets make that 100%.


----------



## C.Y.AN (Aug 4, 2016)

Zipline said:


> granted but it is hunting season and being part omelet makes you especially desirable to hunters.
> 
> I wish I could make people forget an event of my choosing.


;-; absolutely shattered


----------



## RandomNinja11 (Aug 6, 2016)

Yakamaru said:


> Granted, but you end up being deformed in all of them.
> 
> I wish I could completely control chances and the possibility of things. 0% chance of having $100 million on my account? Boom, make that 100%. 0% of finding a girlfriend? Lets make that 100%.



I honestly dont know why this isnt the answer to everyone's "what superpower would you want" question... It's literally the ability to do anything.
Anyways...

Granted, however all of the changes you make have drastic consequences (i.e. random $100 mil in your account = the money comes from other people's accounts, thus making you a thief)

I wish for fallout 4 to not be so damn laggy all the time xD


----------



## um_pineapplez (Aug 6, 2016)

RandomNinja11 said:


> I honestly dont know why this isnt the answer to everyone's "what superpower would you want" question... It's literally the ability to do anything.
> Anyways...
> 
> Granted, however all of the changes you make have drastic consequences (i.e. random $100 mil in your account = the money comes from other people's accounts, thus making you a thief)
> ...


Granted, but every other game is..........FOR YOU.

I wish I was the Space Core cat in my profile pic.


----------



## Jarren (Aug 6, 2016)

Granted, but you're trapped in an subterranean society with no concept of the surface world, let alone space.

I wish my book sells well upon publishing.


----------



## biscuitfister (Aug 7, 2016)

Jarren said:


> Granted, but you're trapped in an subterranean society with no concept of the surface world, let alone space.
> 
> I wish my book sells well upon publishing.



granted but old people thought it was a self help book and want there money back

I wish I had the game we happy few


----------



## Zipline (Aug 8, 2016)

biscuitfister said:


> granted but old people thought it was a self help book and want there money back
> 
> I wish I had the game we happy few


Granted, it makes anyone who plays it very happy but they can not be happy without it and are quickly addicted to playing it.

I wish I could de-age people


----------



## Zenoth (Aug 8, 2016)

Zipline said:


> Granted, it makes anyone who plays it very happy but they can not be happy without it and are quickly addicted to playing it.
> 
> I wish I could de-age people


Granted. But every year you take away from people adds on to your age, and spoils all your Noodles. 

I wish I could conquer the world ^^


----------



## C.Y.AN (Aug 8, 2016)

Zenoth said:


> Granted. But every year you take away from people adds on to your age, and spoils all your Noodles.
> 
> I wish I could conquer the world ^^


Granted, you conquer Uranus.

I wish I could breathe any atmosphere.


----------



## biscuitfister (Aug 8, 2016)

C.Y.AN said:


> Granted, you conquer Uranus.
> 
> I wish I could breathe any atmosphere.


granted the U.S Military finds out you can breath in any atmosphere so they dissect you while your alive to find out why you can.

i wish i had a metric fuck load of mountain dew


----------



## Synthex (Aug 8, 2016)

biscuitfister said:


> granted the U.S Military finds out you can breath in any atmosphere so they dissect you while your alive to find out why you can.
> 
> i wish i had a metric fuck load of mountain dew


Granted, but none of it comes in any sort of container, its's just dumped on you like a tidal wave.

I wish I had a new bicycle.


----------



## RandomNinja11 (Aug 8, 2016)

um_pineapplez said:


> Granted, but every other game is..........FOR YOU.
> 
> I wish I was the Space Core cat in my profile pic.


Jokes on you, I could play that game forever. (300+ hours and still as fun as it was at 10 hours) HA I BEAT THE SYSTEM! :3


----------



## QueenMegajoulan (Aug 8, 2016)

Granted, but you bicycle has square-shaped wheels. It would be easier to walk. 

I wish I had a new videogame to play


----------



## RandomNinja11 (Aug 8, 2016)

QueenMegajoulan said:


> I wish I had a new videogame to play


granted but it runs at 0.1 FPS. That's right 0.1 fps...

I wish my internet quit pooping out on me for random intervals of time without warning nor reason(as far as I can tell)


----------



## biscuitfister (Aug 8, 2016)

RandomNinja11 said:


> granted but it runs at 0.1 FPS. That's right 0.1 fps...
> 
> I wish my internet quit pooping out on me for random intervals of time without warning nor reason(as far as I can tell)


granted but now you live in North Korea where your internet is goin to get taken away

i wish i had a pizza


----------



## Synthex (Aug 8, 2016)

biscuitfister said:


> granted but now you live in North Korea where your internet is goin to get taken away
> 
> i wish i had a pizza


Granted, it's topped with raw potatoes, mud, and angry hornets.

I wish I had a nice apartment.


----------



## biscuitfister (Aug 8, 2016)

Synthex said:


> Granted, it's topped with raw potatoes, mud, and angry hornets.
> 
> I wish I had a nice apartment.


atleast it doesnt have pineapples


----------



## RandomNinja11 (Aug 8, 2016)

biscuitfister said:


> atleast it doesnt have pineapples


I have a pineapple at my house, dont make me dice it up and sprinkle it on that pizza m8


----------



## QueenMegajoulan (Aug 8, 2016)

Synthex said:


> Granted, it's topped with raw potatoes, mud, and angry hornets.
> 
> I wish I had a nice apartment.



Granted, but your neighbor is a huge fan of death metal and is hard of hearing.

I wish I had a better computer so I could play that new game properly.


----------



## RandomNinja11 (Aug 8, 2016)

QueenMegajoulan said:


> Granted, but your neighbor is a huge fan of death metal and is hard of hearing.
> 
> I wish I had a better computer so I could play that new game properly.


Granted but it turns out, it was a bug with the game after all and it is seemingly impossible to get it off of 0.1 FPS

I wish I had some waffles.... Idk why, I just really want some plain blueberry waffles or whatever... xD


----------



## biscuitfister (Aug 8, 2016)

RandomNinja11 said:


> Granted but it turns out, it was a bug with the game after all and it is seemingly impossible to get it off of 0.1 FPS
> 
> I wish I had some waffles.... Idk why, I just really want some plain blueberry waffles or whatever... xD


granted you get a crap load of pictures on waffles

i wish i had some new sun glasses


----------



## C.Y.AN (Aug 8, 2016)

biscuitfister said:


> granted you get a crap load of pictures on waffles
> 
> i wish i had some new sun glasses


Granted, but looking through them shows you how the world would look in the sadistic bowels of hell.

I wish I could give others & myself super powers.


----------



## FlannelFox (Aug 9, 2016)

C.Y.AN said:


> I wish I could give others & myself super powers.


Granted, but the others get greedy and want to be the only ones with super powers so they plot your demise. 

I wish I wasn't stranded at my friend's place on the other side of the state.  x_x


----------



## Synthex (Aug 9, 2016)

FlannelFox said:


> Granted, but the others get greedy and want to be the only ones with super powers so they plot your demise.
> 
> I wish I wasn't stranded at my friend's place on the other side of the state.  x_x


Granted, you're now stranded alone in the middle of the pacific ocean.

I wish my allergies would go away.


----------



## biscuitfister (Aug 9, 2016)

granted but upon the wish being granted you die  (peacefully) 

i wish it was Friday already


----------



## QueenMegajoulan (Aug 10, 2016)

biscuitfister said:


> granted but upon the wish being granted you die  (peacefully)
> 
> i wish it was Friday already



Granted, but the time will be 11:59 PM on the 12th of August in the year of 2017

I wish I stopped aging


----------



## RandomNinja11 (Aug 10, 2016)

QueenMegajoulan said:


> Granted, but the time will be 11:59 PM on the 12th of August in the year of 2017
> 
> I wish I stopped aging


Granted, your telomeres no longer grow shorter and stay the same length, preventing aging. The side effect however is very severe cases of cancer.

I wish sticky keys was in windows 10... It's just called Filter Keys now... ;~; (RIP~ STICKY KEYS)


----------



## C.Y.AN (Aug 10, 2016)

RandomNinja11 said:


> Granted, your telomeres no longer grow shorter and stay the same length, preventing aging. The side effect however is very severe cases of cancer.
> 
> I wish sticky keys was in windows 10... It's just called Filter Keys now... ;~; (RIP~ STICKY KEYS)


Granted, you jerk off over your keyboard. STICKY KEYS. 

I wish could cook anything.


----------



## Jarren (Aug 10, 2016)

Granted, but you are then overcome with the need to cook *EVERYTHING! 
*
I  wish I was capable of flight under my own power.


----------



## biscuitfister (Aug 10, 2016)

Jarren said:


> Granted, but you are then overcome with the need to cook *EVERYTHING!
> *
> I  wish I was capable of flight under my own power.


Granted but you got mistaken for a duck during hunting season.

i wish i had more beer


----------



## Forte (Aug 10, 2016)

Granted but it tastes like wee.

I wish I had a beautiful grand piano ^^


----------



## biscuitfister (Aug 10, 2016)

Forte said:


> Granted but it tastes like wee.
> 
> I wish I had a beautiful grand piano ^^


granted but it comes with no warranty and the legs snap in-half

i wish i had some what a burger right about now


----------



## Synthex (Aug 11, 2016)

biscuitfister said:


> granted but it comes with no warranty and the legs snap in-half
> 
> i wish i had some what a burger right about now


Granted. You get a somewhat burger.
I mean.... it's sorta a burger... isn't it?
It looks like a burger, but shimmers slightly in and out of existence.
It smells of rotten eggs and lilacs.
It may have just growled.
You're not entirely sure you can eat this.....

I wish I could get to sleep already.


----------



## Zipline (Aug 11, 2016)

biscuitfister said:


> granted but it comes with no warranty and the legs snap in-half
> 
> i wish i had some what a burger right about now


lols Wataburger is a Texas thing. they will not understand outside of our state XD


----------



## Synthex (Aug 11, 2016)

Zipline said:


> lols Wataburger is a Texas thing. they will not understand outside of our state XD


(oh, oops. honestly, I thought it was just a typo and decided to use it to take the weird route)


----------



## Zipline (Aug 11, 2016)

Synthex said:


> (oh, oops. honestly, I thought it was just a typo and decided to use it to take the weird route)


nnu nu, that was more fun! :3


----------



## KurtCobain (Aug 11, 2016)

Synthex said:


> Granted. You get a somewhat burger.
> I mean.... it's sorta a burger... isn't it?
> It looks like a burger, but shimmers slightly in and out of existence.
> It smells of rotten eggs and lilacs.
> ...


You'll sleep forever.

I wish the interesting people in the real world weren't locked away somewhere where I could never find them.


----------



## QueenMegajoulan (Aug 11, 2016)

KurtCobain said:


> You'll sleep forever.
> 
> I wish the interesting people in the real world weren't locked away somewhere where I could never find them.



Granted, but all of them are now locked away in your house

I wish I wasn't suffering from sleep deprivation


----------



## biscuitfister (Aug 11, 2016)

QueenMegajoulan said:


> Granted, but all of them are now locked away in your house
> 
> I wish I wasn't suffering from sleep deprivation


Granted but no matter how hot or cold it is you wake up in a pool of your own sweat.

i wish i had a truck


----------



## Shadowblackwolf (Aug 11, 2016)

biscuitfister said:


> Granted but no matter how hot or cold it is you wake up in a pool of your own sweat.
> 
> i wish i had a truck


Granted, but it was used in a demolition derby.
I wish I could control time.


----------



## Yakamaru (Aug 11, 2016)

Granted, but you can only control it in 5 second intervals.

I wish I couldn't fly.


----------



## biscuitfister (Aug 11, 2016)

Yakamaru said:


> Granted, but you can only control it in 5 second intervals.
> 
> I wish I couldn't fly.


granted but everytime you think of flying you lose a toe/finger nail

i wish i had a better sound system for my house


----------



## Very Hairy Larry (Aug 11, 2016)

Granted, but you lose your house.

I wish I had a Vietnam flashback.


----------



## biscuitfister (Aug 11, 2016)

Very Hairy Larry said:


> Granted, but you lose your house.
> 
> I wish I had a Vietnam flashback.


granted but during your flash back you accidently kill a dog

i wish i had No Man Sky


----------



## Cannabiskitty (Aug 11, 2016)

Granted, but it's a little underwhelming.

I wish I had a job as a secret agent.


----------



## Yakamaru (Aug 11, 2016)

Granted, but on your first mission you die.

I wish I had a lot of Gold on World of Tanks.


----------



## biscuitfister (Aug 11, 2016)

Yakamaru said:


> Granted, but on your first mission you die.
> 
> I wish I had a lot of Gold on World of Tanks.


granted but you lose your account info and cant remember your recovery email's password

i wish i could take a month off of work


----------



## lockaboss (Aug 11, 2016)

granted but you get fired after that month

i wish i had a super computer


----------



## FlannelFox (Aug 11, 2016)

lockaboss said:


> i wish i had a super computer


Granted! But running it costs you $1k an hour on your power bill. 

I wish my motorcycle had nice new tires.


----------



## lockaboss (Aug 11, 2016)

granted but the tyres costed 1 million dollars and you will be in deat for the rest of you life

i wish i had this in real life
(this caracter does not belong to me im just using him cause hes super cute)


----------



## biscuitfister (Aug 11, 2016)

lockaboss said:


> granted but the tyres costed 1 million dollars and you will be in deat for the rest of you life
> 
> i wish i had this in real life
> (this caracter does not belong to me im just using him cause hes super cute)


Granted but it has cancer 

I wish i had a bigger truck


----------



## lockaboss (Aug 11, 2016)

biscuitfister said:


> Granted but it has cancer
> 
> I wish i had a bigger truck


nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo


----------



## Very Hairy Larry (Aug 12, 2016)

biscuitfister said:


> Granted but it has cancer
> 
> I wish i had a bigger truck


Granted, but you now have a .5 incher

I wish I could pee whatever beverage I wanted


----------



## lockaboss (Aug 12, 2016)

granted but it still tasted like pee

i wish for a cake


----------



## Very Hairy Larry (Aug 12, 2016)

Granted, but it's a lie. (sry, I had to do that xD)

I wish to have my very own sitcom show


----------



## lockaboss (Aug 12, 2016)

granted but no one watches it and you are hated for it and it gets cancelled in the first day

i wish i didnt have cancer


----------



## FlannelFox (Aug 12, 2016)

Granted. You no longer have cancer because all of your organs were stolen to be sold on the black market.

I wish I liked boats. I hate boats. They're so boring.


----------



## lockaboss (Aug 12, 2016)

granted but a fetish grows and you marry and have sex with the boat

i wish my dead cat with a jumper on was alive


----------



## Yakamaru (Aug 12, 2016)

Granted, but for every second your cat is alive another one has to die. 

I wish stupid would stop being so fucking contagious.


----------



## biscuitfister (Aug 12, 2016)

Yakamaru said:


> Granted, but for every second your cat is alive another one has to die.
> 
> I wish stupid would stop being so fucking contagious.



Granted you became the second hitler and eradicated the stupid people, congratulations on your your genocide you monster. 

I wish i had a dog


----------



## Cannabiskitty (Aug 12, 2016)

Granted but he dies on his first mission. Srry bro.

I wish Donald Trump had a stroke.


----------



## Yakamaru (Aug 12, 2016)

Granted, you now have a corrupt corporate shill feminist in office. She ends up screwing your country even more over than Trump ever would be able to.

I wish Hillary had a stroke.


----------



## biscuitfister (Aug 12, 2016)

Yakamaru said:


> Granted, you now have a corrupt corporate shill feminist in office. She ends up screwing your country even more over than Trump ever would be able to.
> 
> I wish Hillary had a stroke.


granted  Hillary dies a long and painful death, you forgot to pay a bill or something

i wish we had better presidential candidates


----------



## FlannelFox (Aug 12, 2016)

Granted, Vermin Supreme suddenly has a shot at winning. 

I wish a working and achievable plan for mining asteroids would come to me in a dream.


----------



## biscuitfister (Aug 13, 2016)

FlannelFox said:


> Granted, Vermin Supreme suddenly has a shot at winning.
> 
> I wish a working and achievable plan for mining asteroids would come to me in a dream.



granted but the first mission starts with a violent explosion on the launch pad killing 4 people

i wish i had a better computer


----------



## Synthex (Aug 13, 2016)

biscuitfister said:


> granted but the first mission starts with a violent explosion on the launch pad killing 4 people
> 
> i wish i had a better computer


Granted, your computer becomes so good, it develops sentience and mobility. It strangles you with it's power cord for keeping it in slavery.

I wish I had a medicine that could cut through any pain.


----------



## biscuitfister (Aug 13, 2016)

Synthex said:


> Granted, your computer becomes so good, it develops sentience and mobility. It strangles you with it's power cord for keeping it in slavery.
> 
> I wish I had a medicine that could cut through any pain.


granted but with feeling no pain you long for an excitement that would grant you some sort of risk and end up accidentally dieing finding your fix

i wish i was good at art


----------



## RandomNinja11 (Aug 14, 2016)

biscuitfister said:


> granted but with feeling no pain you long for an excitement that would grant you some sort of risk and end up accidentally dieing finding your fix
> 
> i wish i was good at art


I don't need pain for excitement, just need some games like counter strike or fallout or something. I think that other guy just beat the system.


----------



## Synthex (Aug 14, 2016)

RandomNinja11 said:


> I don't need pain for excitement, just need some games like counter strike or fallout or something. I think that other guy just beat the system.


This ^ I'd finally be able to go out with friends on the regular and not hurt. That's all the excitement I need really. (I suppose I could also stop taking the meds if I really wanted to be in pain again too.) I feel like I may have lucked out.


----------



## Dyrra (Aug 16, 2016)

biscuitfister said:


> granted but with feeling no pain you long for an excitement that would grant you some sort of risk and end up accidentally dieing finding your fix
> 
> i wish i was good at art



Granted, but you're only good at "modern" abstract art, you're unable to draw any other kind.

I wish I had enough money to buy my own place!


----------



## Saylor (Aug 16, 2016)

Dyrra said:


> Granted, but you're only good at "modern" abstract art, you're unable to draw any other kind.
> 
> I wish I had enough money to buy my own place!



Granted, but it's only a cardboard box underneath an overpass in South Philly. 

I wish I could take the day off work


----------



## alxistheworst (Aug 16, 2016)

Granted, but you only find out after you're at work and then you're stuck in unmoving traffic for the rest of the day. 
I wish I lived with my boyfriend.


----------



## biscuitfister (Aug 17, 2016)

alxistheworst said:


> Granted, but you only find out after you're at work and then you're stuck in unmoving traffic for the rest of the day.
> I wish I lived with my boyfriend.


granted but within a week you catch him cheating on you and also putting the toilet paper roll with the loose end against the wall instead of away from the wall like a normal person

i wish i could buy happiness


----------



## Yakamaru (Aug 17, 2016)

Granted, but you end up having to sell pieces of your soul for every piece of happiness you gain.

I wish people would stop quoting me in this thread.


----------



## Dyrra (Aug 17, 2016)

Granted. (Prepare yourself)

I wish I could breathe underwater.


----------



## biscuitfister (Aug 17, 2016)

Dyrra said:


> Granted. (Prepare yourself)
> 
> I wish I could breathe underwater.


granted but you still feel like your drowning but wont die

i wish i had better internet


----------



## Jarren (Aug 18, 2016)

Granted! But all of your neighbors leech off it until it's slower than what you have now.

I wish for access to an unlimited supply of free twizzlers.


----------



## biscuitfister (Aug 19, 2016)

Jarren said:


> Granted! But all of your neighbors leech off it until it's slower than what you have now.
> 
> I wish for access to an unlimited supply of free twizzlers.


granted and welcome to the world of diabetes

i wish i had some more socks


----------



## Yakamaru (Aug 19, 2016)

Granted. You now do not have any other clothes.

I wish the new Swedish faction in World of Tanks were more fleshed out.


----------



## Jarren (Aug 19, 2016)

Yakamaru said:


> Granted. You now do not have any other clothes.
> 
> I wish the new Swedish faction in World of Tanks were more fleshed out.


Granted, but WG takes that literally, and all the new vehicles are actually made of flesh.
(With regards to this, I am rather excited for the new line. I've sunk more time into WoT than is probably healthy.

I wish for a cool, new hat.


----------



## Saylor (Aug 19, 2016)

Jarren said:


> Granted, but WG takes that literally, and all the new vehicles are actually made of flesh.
> (With regards to this, I am rather excited for the new line. I've sunk more time into WoT than is probably healthy.
> 
> I wish for a cool, new hat.


Granted, but it doesn't fit. 

I wish I had John Travolta hair.


----------



## Zipline (Aug 20, 2016)

Cannabiskitty said:


> Granted, but it's a little underwhelming..


I think you accidentally granted that wish for everyone that bought the game instead of just him.


----------



## Zipline (Aug 20, 2016)

Yakamaru said:


> I wish people would quote me in this thread.


Wish granted.


----------



## Kellan Meig'h (Aug 20, 2016)

Saylor said:


> Granted, but it doesn't fit.
> 
> I wish I had John Travolta hair.


Granted. You now have John Travolta's toupee

I wish I had a never-ending kegerator of Steel Reserve beside my computer hutch.


----------



## Simo (Aug 20, 2016)

Granted! Unfortunately, while you're away, your house gets broken into by some wayward furry teens. They discover the never ending supply of beer, and throw wild parties every night, destroying the furniture, peeing on the floor, and leaving odd stains on your bed. 

I had gone to a high-school where the school uniforms were fursuits of different types, for each grade.


----------



## Zipline (Aug 20, 2016)

Simo said:


> Granted! Unfortunately, while you're away, your house gets broken into by some wayward furry teens. They discover the never ending supply of beer, and throw wild parties every night, destroying the furniture, peeing on the floor, and leaving odd stains on your bed.
> 
> I had gone to a high-school where the school uniforms were fursuits of different types, for each grade.


I would have joined them for the free food. I hope they have tuna! :3


----------



## Simo (Aug 20, 2016)

Zipline said:


> I would have joined them for the free food. I hope they have tuna! :3



Yep, and a never ending supply. You might have gained 100 pounds!

OK, Imma make another wish.

I wish I had an entire litter of Zipline pups.


----------



## Saylor (Aug 20, 2016)

Granted. Good luck with getting covered in baby puke though. 

I wish that I had a magic Foreigner belt.


----------



## biscuitfister (Aug 20, 2016)

Saylor said:


> Granted. Good luck with getting covered in baby puke though.
> 
> I wish that I had a magic Foreigner belt.



granted but with every use a kitten must me slaughtered =[

i wish i was done with smoking


----------



## Julen (Aug 20, 2016)

Granted but now you're an alcoholic.

I wish i had more friends


----------



## Kellan Meig'h (Aug 20, 2016)

Julen said:


> Granted but now you're an alcoholic.
> 
> I wish i had more friends



Granted! They're the drunken furs that broke into my house. They make sure you stay an alcoholic.

I wish I had a battery for my laptop that never ran out of power.


----------



## Jarren (Aug 20, 2016)

Granted,  but it's powered by the suffering of innocents, you are aware of this, and you always have a little window in the corner of your screen showing an example of it. This window cannot be covered or minimized.

I wish I owned a tank and the resources to operate/crew it.


----------



## Saylor (Aug 20, 2016)

Granted, but now the military sends in an A10 to destroy you and your tank. 

I wish I had a room full of bubble wrap.


----------



## Yakamaru (Aug 20, 2016)

Granted, but someone else takes care of the bubblewrap before you even have the chance to pop a single one.

I wish I were immortal, had permanent mid-20's youth and a couple hundred million on my account.


----------



## Synthex (Aug 20, 2016)

Yakamaru said:


> Granted, but someone else takes care of the bubblewrap before you even have the chance to pop a single one.
> 
> I wish I were immortal, had permanent mid-20's youth and a couple hundred million on my account.


Granted! The you get 200 million in Vietnamese dongs. (about $9,000) You also contract incurable leprosy.

I wish I had the money to buy a whole new wardrobe


----------



## SouthTexasSammy (Sep 4, 2016)

Synthex said:


> Granted! The you get 200 million in Vietnamese dongs. (about $9,000) You also contract incurable leprosy.
> 
> I wish I had the money to buy a whole new wardrobe


Granted, unfortunately you will out grow any clothing that you put on.

I wish for a fish.


----------



## lockaboss (Sep 4, 2016)

granted but it dies in the first day

i wish for a good life


----------



## Dyrra (Sep 4, 2016)

lockaboss said:


> granted but it dies in the first day
> 
> i wish for a good life


Granted, but you'll only live till next Tuesday.

I wish for a fancy new guitar~


----------



## Kellan Meig'h (Sep 4, 2016)

Dyrra said:


> Granted, but you'll only live till next Tuesday.
> 
> I wish for a fancy new guitar~


Granted! It has seventeen strings in 8 courses of two strings with a single string in between the fourth and fifth courses. All strings tuned to thirds. No frets.

I wish for a car that never suffers damage in an accident.


----------



## lockaboss (Sep 4, 2016)

granted but insted you suffer all the damage 
 i wish i had super powers


----------



## SouthTexasSammy (Sep 6, 2016)

Granted, you can now fly, but only for 3 seconds, and at a height of .03 inches.  It also takes 5 years to recharge.

I wish for a yellow dish.


----------



## JinxiFox (Sep 6, 2016)

Granted, but it's been stained from asparagus/vitamin pee.
I wish I had some blackberries.


----------



## Jarren (Sep 6, 2016)

Granted. But you get the phones, rather than the fruit, and they're all non-functional display models.

I wish the cops in NY weren't as strict with their ticketing policy x_x


----------



## RandomNinja11 (Sep 6, 2016)

Granted, the NY cops are no longer as strict as they were. Instead, they are MUCH more strict and ticket everyone for any reason they can think up.

I wish my history homework wasn't boring & excessive >.>


----------



## Kellan Meig'h (Sep 11, 2016)

RandomNinja11 said:


> Granted, the NY cops are no longer as strict as they were. Instead, they are MUCH more strict and ticket everyone for any reason they can think up.
> 
> I wish my history homework wasn't boring & excessive >.>


Granted! You get transported back in time to experience history being made! Let's start with the Black Plague.

I wish for a cup of coffee that never goes empty but refills itself.


----------



## Jarren (Sep 11, 2016)

Granted! 
...
It's decaf.

I wish for a dish of fish.


----------



## Julen (Sep 11, 2016)

Granted but instead of a dish of fish it's a fish of dish.



And you also die of terminal fishness.



I wish i had "social life"


----------



## RandomNinja11 (Sep 12, 2016)

Julen said:


> Granted but instead of a dish of fish it's a fish of dish.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Granted, you have a social life including approx. 7 randoms that you met from largely different websites and games, none of them will ever get along with each other.

I wish to be able to navigate these forums without making my own head spin...


----------



## Saylor (Sep 12, 2016)

Granted, but now you randomly recite others' posts randomly in public. 

I wish I had the remote from the movie Click to fast forward through work


----------



## biscuitfister (Sep 15, 2016)

Saylor said:


> Granted, but now you randomly recite others' posts randomly in public.
> 
> I wish I had the remote from the movie Click to fast forward through work



Granted but now you have aids and lung cancer with a side of suicidal tendencies.

i wish i could run a marathon


----------



## RandomNinja11 (Sep 16, 2016)

Granted, but you have to use those fake leg things

like this guy


Spoiler












I wish I could easily forget something (like a game so I can replay it and have it completely new again ) or actually serious problems, but watever lol


----------



## wishai (Sep 17, 2016)

Congralutions! You already to live.

Only wish:   NONEXISTENCE













You are right... that's no.
My apologize, Play on.

I wish for more wishes for all.


----------



## biscuitfister (Sep 17, 2016)

wishai said:


> Congralutions! You already to live.
> 
> Only wish:   NONEXISTENCE
> 
> ...


----------



## wishai (Sep 17, 2016)




----------



## biscuitfister (Sep 17, 2016)

wishai said:


> View attachment 13607


if we believe in ourselves anything is possible


----------



## wishai (Sep 17, 2016)

biscuitfister said:


> if we believe in ourselves anything is possible



Hence my avatar. (And no avatar both)

Coming back. 

Granted with more ciber attacks, hackers, intromission on privacy, etc.

I wish  a Lewis Carroll.


----------



## biscuitfister (Sep 17, 2016)

wishai said:


> Hence my avatar. (And no avatar both)
> 
> Coming back.
> 
> ...


i just glance over usernames hence mine cause what in the actual fuck is a biscuitfister


----------



## wishai (Sep 17, 2016)

And my Wonderland?


----------



## RandomNinja11 (Sep 17, 2016)




----------



## RandomNinja11 (Sep 17, 2016)

I'll just start where this thread was before derailment...


biscuitfister said:


> Granted but now you have aids and lung cancer with a side of suicidal tendencies.
> 
> i wish i could run a marathon


Granted, but you have to use those fake leg things

like this guy


Spoiler











I wish I could easily forget something (like a game so I can replay it and have it completely new again ) or actually serious problems, but watever lol


----------



## Kellan Meig'h (Sep 18, 2016)

RandomNinja11 said:


> I'll just start where this thread was before derailment...
> 
> Granted, but you have to use those fake leg things
> 
> ...


Granted! Now you have Alzheimer Disease.

I wish for snow in the San Francisco Bay area this winter!


----------



## Jarren (Sep 18, 2016)

Granted, but it's due to a new, rapid onset ice age that blankets the whole continent. Thousands die.

I wish for a faster car.


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Sep 19, 2016)

Jarren said:


> Granted, but it's due to a new, rapid onset ice age that blankets the whole continent. Thousands die.
> 
> I wish for a faster car.


Granted. Your car now goes one mile an hour faster than your old one. I wish I didn't have this headache!


----------



## Notkastar (Sep 19, 2016)

Okami_No_Heishi said:


> Granted. Your car now goes one mile an hour faster than your old one. I wish I didn't have this headache!



Granted. You have psychic power that make it nigh impossible for you to ever have a headache again.
But your power grows stronger day by day till your giving involuntary and unbearable migraines to everyone and everything around you.

I wish I had at least 8 more wishes and with one of them I wish I knew the exact way to word it so I get exactly what I want without any negative repercussions to me or the world.


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Sep 19, 2016)

Notkastar said:


> Granted. You have psychic power that make it nigh impossible for you to ever have a headache again.
> But your power grows stronger day by day till your giving involuntary and unbearable migraines to everyone and everything around you.
> 
> I wish I had at least 8 more wishes and with one of them I wish I knew the exact way to word it so I get exactly what I want without any negative repercussions to me or the world.


Granted. All your wishes come true, with no harm to you or the world. I wish this little creepy spider would leave me alone.


----------



## Dyrra (Sep 22, 2016)

Okami_No_Heishi said:


> Granted. All your wishes come true, with no harm to you or the world. I wish this little creepy spider would leave me alone.


Granted. It leaves and calls it's bigger brother to pester you. I wish I had a good cookie.


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Sep 22, 2016)

Dyrra said:


> Granted. It leaves and calls it's bigger brother to pester you. I wish I had a good cookie.


Baking all these cookies has left my kitchen in a shambles. But what's that behind your ear*reaches behind your ear*? Holy crap I found a cookie!*pulls hand back and gives you the cookie* Enjoy! That's the last one.


----------



## Dyrra (Sep 22, 2016)

Okami_No_Heishi said:


> Baking all these cookies has left my kitchen in a shambles. But what's that behind your ear*reaches behind your ear*? Holy crap I found a cookie!*pulls hand back and gives you the cookie* Enjoy! That's the last one.


*Grabs cookie and runs into sunset*


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Sep 22, 2016)

Dyrra said:


> *Grabs cookie and runs into sunset*


Hey!!! You forgot your napkin!!!


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Sep 22, 2016)

Dyrra said:


> *Grabs cookie and runs into sunset*


And back to the wish corruption: I wish my back would stop hurting.


----------



## Kellan Meig'h (Sep 23, 2016)

Granted! Your back stops hurting but your knees and ankles develop debilitating arthritis. Your wheelchair is right over there, beside mine.

I wish my back and knees would quit hurting.


----------



## Jarren (Sep 23, 2016)

Granted! But now you can't feel anything at all from the neck down.
I wish my Xbox didn't have to download software updates so frequently.


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Sep 23, 2016)

Jarren said:


> Granted! But now you can't feel anything at all from the neck down.
> I wish my Xbox didn't have to download software updates so frequently.


Granted, but now your xbox won't play games. I wish I could sleep for four more hours.


----------



## Somnium (Sep 25, 2016)

Granted, enjoy your 4 hours of nightmares.

I wish I could suck my dick.


----------



## Aaron Whitepaw (Sep 25, 2016)

Somnium said:


> Granted, enjoy your 4 hours of nightmares.
> 
> I wish I could suck my dick.


Granted: you now cannot,* ever,* take your dick out your mouth.
I wish for faster wi-fi.


----------



## um_pineapplez (Sep 25, 2016)

Aaron Whitepaw said:


> Granted: you now cannot,* ever,* take your dick out your mouth.
> I wish for faster wi-fi.


Granted, but it's so fast your computer explodes, taking an arm and an eye with it. 

I wish the illuminati would release their firm grip on Youtube.


----------



## Aaron Whitepaw (Sep 25, 2016)

um_pineapplez said:


> Granted, but it's so fast your computer explodes, taking an arm and an eye with it.
> 
> I wish the illuminati would release their firm grip on Youtube.


Granted: youtube ceases to exist
I wish I was a god.


----------



## Corrupt-Canine (Sep 25, 2016)

Aaron Whitepaw said:


> Granted: youtube ceases to exist
> I wish I was a god.


Granted, but you are now just an admin of a chat forum. 
I wish the next person below this comment actually knew how to corrupt this wish.


----------



## um_pineapplez (Sep 25, 2016)

Corrupt-Canine said:


> Granted, but you are now just an admin of a chat forum.
> I wish the next person below this comment actually knew how to corrupt this wish.


Granted! The wish above this comment is ERASED from the fabric of space and time!

I wish Pichu was better in Melee.


----------



## InpuOsirisson (Sep 25, 2016)

um_pineapplez said:


> Granted! The wish above this comment is ERASED from the fabric of space and time!
> 
> I wish Pichu was better in Melee.



Granted, but Melee no longer exists in this realm. Thank you for choosing Underworld services.

I wish my wishes were immune to corruption.


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Sep 25, 2016)

InpuOsirisson said:


> Granted, but Melee no longer exists in this realm. Thank you for choosing Underworld services.
> 
> I wish my wishes were immune to corruption.


Granted. You now are no longer able to wish. I wish I could make this pain in my back go away.


----------



## InpuOsirisson (Sep 25, 2016)

Okami_No_Heishi said:


> Granted. You now are no longer able to wish. I wish I could make this pain in my back go away.




Granted, but now you are paralyzed until you want to feel back pain again.

I.. I... damnit, I can't wish anymore. Can some grant me the ability to wish? I wih... wwiiihh.. please.. you know what to do.


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Sep 25, 2016)

InpuOsirisson said:


> Granted, but now you are paralyzed until you want to feel back pain again.
> 
> I.. I... damnit, I can't wish anymore. Can some grant me the ability to wish? I wih... wwiiihh.. please.. you know what to do.


I knew I was gonna be paralysed. I wish Inpu could wish again.


----------



## Aaron Whitepaw (Sep 26, 2016)

InpuOsirisson said:


> Granted, but now you are paralyzed until you want to feel back pain again.
> 
> I.. I... damnit, I can't wish anymore. Can some grant me the ability to wish? I wih... wwiiihh.. please.. you know what to do.


Granted: you can only wish for dirt
I wish I had more friends


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Sep 26, 2016)

Aaron Whitepaw said:


> Granted: you can only wish for dirt
> I wish I had more friends


Granted. Here I am. I wish I had an epidural, so I wouldn't feel my lower back.


----------



## Aaron Whitepaw (Sep 26, 2016)

Okami_No_Heishi said:


> Granted. Here I am. I wish I had an epidural, so I wouldn't geel my lower back.


Granted: the rest of your body is in pain for the rest of your life
I wish for kittens


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Sep 26, 2016)

Aaron Whitepaw said:


> Granted: the rest of your body is in pain for the rest of your life
> I wish for kittens


Damn! That seems to have come true already. I feel like C3PO when he said his lot in life was to suffer.


----------



## Aaron Whitepaw (Sep 26, 2016)

Okami_No_Heishi said:


> Damn! That seems to have come true already. I feel like C3PO when he said his lot in life was to suffer.


:'/


----------



## Okami_No_Heishi (Sep 26, 2016)

Aaron Whitepaw said:


> Granted: the rest of your body is in pain for the rest of your life
> I wish for kittens


Granted. You are now the cat lady that has 200 cats in her house. I wish I didn't have to go dig this hole today.


----------



## Aaron Whitepaw (Sep 26, 2016)

Okami_No_Heishi said:


> Granted. You are now the cat lady that has 200 cats in her house. I wish I didn't have to go dig this hole today.


Granted: you don't have to dig the hole today. you have to dig holes for the rest of your life after today. enjoy your last day of freedom.
I wish for world peace


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## Okami_No_Heishi (Sep 26, 2016)

Aaron Whitepaw said:


> Granted: you don't have to dig the hole today. you have to dig holes for the rest of your life after today. enjoy your last day of freedom.
> I wish for world peace


Lol. Hell no!!! I think I've dug enough holes!! Granted. But it's world peas! Yay! I wish I had a clone so I could send him to work. But then again, he would probably mess everything up and I would have to go fix it for free.


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## Aaron Whitepaw (Sep 26, 2016)

Okami_No_Heishi said:


> Lol. Hell no!!! I think I've dug enough holes!! Granted. But it's world peas! Yay! I wish I had a clone so I could send him to work. But then again, he would probably mess everything up and I would have to go fix it for free.


Granted: your clone takes over your life and everyone thinks that you are the clone. you die alone.
I wish for a nicer sister


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## Okami_No_Heishi (Sep 26, 2016)

Aaron Whitepaw said:


> Granted: your clone takes over your life and everyone thinks that you are the clone. you die alone.
> I wish for a nicer sister


Granted. She's so nice she never lets you do anything and basically controls your entire life for you. I wish it was just midnight and I could try to sleep some more. No restvfor the weary.


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## Aaron Whitepaw (Sep 26, 2016)

Granted: it never becomes day again
I wish i could teleport


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## Okami_No_Heishi (Sep 26, 2016)

Time to make the doughnuts......woohoo.


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## Okami_No_Heishi (Sep 26, 2016)

Aaron Whitepaw said:


> Granted: it never becomes day again
> I wish i could teleport


I could live with that. Except it would get really cold really fast.


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## Aaron Whitepaw (Sep 26, 2016)

Okami_No_Heishi said:


> I could live with that. Except it would get really cold really fast.


=P


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## Okami_No_Heishi (Sep 26, 2016)

Aaron Whitepaw said:


> Granted: it never becomes day again
> I wish i could teleport


Granted. But you teleport to the moon and freeze to death. I wish....hell I dont even know. Gotta run little brother. I will be back on after work I'm hope. Peace. Have a good rest of your day Aaron. Bye.


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## Aaron Whitepaw (Sep 26, 2016)

Okami_No_Heishi said:


> Granted. But you teleport to the moon and freeze to death. I wish....hell I dont even know. Gotta run little brother. I will be back on after work I'm hope. Peace. Have a good rest of your day Aaron. Bye.


Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee


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## Aaron Whitepaw (Sep 26, 2016)

GRANTED: you are now in hell. yay.
i wish my classmates weren't jerks.


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## Yakamaru (Sep 26, 2016)

Granted, they become too nice, making you awkward at every opportunity they get.

I wish I were a millionaire.


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## um_pineapplez (Sep 26, 2016)

Yakamaru said:


> Granted, they become too nice, making you awkward at every opportunity they get.
> 
> I wish I were a millionaire.


Granted. You have a million Deutsche marks. and you're in the time period after World War I.

I wish incest ships weren't so hot. I feel fucking bad for jerking it to one. Although fuck Pinecest, Isabelle x Digby, and Wincest.


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## Okami_No_Heishi (Sep 26, 2016)

um_pineapplez said:


> Granted. You have a million Deutsche marks. and you're in the time period after World War I.
> 
> I wish incest ships weren't so hot. I feel fucking bad for jerking it to one. Although fuck Pinecest, Isabelle x Digby, and Wincest.


Was there a wish in there somewhere?


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## InpuOsirisson (Sep 26, 2016)

Granted.. They are cold. Everytime you look at one, your eyes will freeze solid. 

I wish for dirt.


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## Okami_No_Heishi (Sep 26, 2016)

InpuOsirisson said:


> Granted.. They are cold. Everytime you look at one, your eyes will freeze solid.
> 
> I wish for dirt.


Granted. You have to eat dirt for food for now on. I wish I were camping with my wife right now.


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## InpuOsirisson (Sep 26, 2016)

Okami_No_Heishi said:


> Granted. You have to eat dirt for food for now on. I wish I were camping with my wife right now.




Granted, but your wife gets called to the wild, and she leaves you for a deer. 

I Wish dirt was healthy.


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## Okami_No_Heishi (Sep 26, 2016)

InpuOsirisson said:


> Granted, but your wife gets called to the wild, and she leaves you for a deer.
> 
> I Wish dirt was healthy.


It is.


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## InpuOsirisson (Sep 27, 2016)

Okami_No_Heishi said:


> It is.



To digest!


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## Okami_No_Heishi (Sep 27, 2016)

InpuOsirisson said:


> To digest!


I don't want to poop gravel or sand. Granted. Dirt is now the equivalent of Filet Mingon. I wish Eve had not eaten that fruit.


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## Kurrundo the light fox (Sep 27, 2016)

Granted but alas as time wears on Eve grows tired of Adam and takes a long walk.
Wish I had a clue right about now.


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## Kellan Meig'h (Sep 27, 2016)

Kurrundo the light fox said:


> Granted but alas as time wears on Eve grows tired of Adam and takes a long walk.
> Wish I had a clue right about now.


Granted! It's the card game Clue.
I wish I had a never ending supply of light roast coffee beans.


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## Jarren (Sep 27, 2016)

Kellan Meig'h said:


> Granted! It's the card game Clue.
> I wish I had a never ending supply of light roast coffee beans.


Granted, but you develop a severe caffeine allergy (yep, it's a real thing).

I wish for the fall foliage to look nice this year.


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## Kurrundo the light fox (Sep 27, 2016)

Granted! The weather changes and so does the leaves to the bright oranges and brilliant scarlet and gold hues, But unfortunately the winter is twice as cold and the snow falls early.
Wish I had another book to read or at least something I can't finish in one sitting (I am a speed reader)


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## Okami_No_Heishi (Sep 28, 2016)

Kurrundo the light fox said:


> Granted! The weather changes and so does the leaves to the bright oranges and brilliant scarlet and gold hues, But unfortunately the winter is twice as cold and the snow falls early.
> Wish I had another book to read or at least something I can't finish in one sitting (I am a speed reader)


Granted. You now have to read a book that is 1,000,000 pages long and it takes you ten years to read it. And its about knitting sox. Lol. I wish I could have multiple orgasms like females can.


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## bhutrflai (Sep 28, 2016)

Okami_No_Heishi said:


> Granted. You now have to read a book that is 1,000,000 pages long and it takes you ten years to read it. And its about knitting sox. Lol. I wish I could have multiple orgasms like females can.


Haha! Granted, but now nothing would ever get done & the world as we know it ends. 
I wish for clean towels. (Just cause I hate doing laundry!)


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## Okami_No_Heishi (Sep 29, 2016)

bhutrflai said:


> Haha! Granted, but now nothing would ever get done & the world as we know it ends.
> I wish for clean towels. (Just cause I hate doing laundry!)


Granted. You have plenty of clean towels, but they're behind a bullet proof glass wall, you can't get to them, and there's just one roll of paper towels left in the world. I wish I could go camping in the woods for a month.


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## Dyrra (Sep 29, 2016)

Okami_No_Heishi said:


> Granted. You have plenty of clean towels, but they're behind a bullet proof glass wall, you can't get to them, and there's just one roll of paper towels left in the world. I wish I could go camping in the woods for a month.


Granted, but your tent is constantly surrounded by angry lions, tigers and bears. Oh my.

I wish I could herd these wierd spindly spiders out of my house.


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## Okami_No_Heishi (Sep 29, 2016)

Dyrra said:


> Granted, but your tent is constantly surrounded by angry lions, tigers and bears. Oh my.
> 
> I wish I could herd these wierd spindly spiders out of my house.


Granted. Now they surround your house like a mote and you can't escape. (I would make friends with the lions tigers and bears by feeding them venison. Then we'd have a rave.)I wish politicians would tell the truth.


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## Kellan Meig'h (Oct 2, 2016)

Granted! Except, you suddenly realize you can't handle the truth!

I wish I didn't have this caffeine allergy, now that I have this endless supply of coffee beans.


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## bhutrflai (Oct 2, 2016)

Granted, but now every time yu drink caffeine, it puts you to sleep.

I wish I could get a relaxing massage.


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## Okami_No_Heishi (Oct 2, 2016)

bhutrflai said:


> Granted, but now every time yu drink caffeine, it puts you to sleep.
> 
> I wish I could get a relaxing massage.


Granted. But it puts your whole body to sleep but your not asleep. I wish I could go to sleep.


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## bhutrflai (Oct 2, 2016)

Okami_No_Heishi said:


> Granted. But it puts your whole body to sleep but your not asleep. I wish I could go to sleep.


Granted, but you must listen to a dictionary being read in order to go to sleep. 

I wish I could fly like a bird.


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## Kellan Meig'h (Oct 3, 2016)

Granted! Except you now have wings like a bird. No hands. Others have to care for you.

I wish I could retire three years early. (I hate my job, btw)


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## BritWolf (Oct 3, 2016)

Granted but you will only live for 3 more years. 

I wish she would spend time with me like she does with him.


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## InpuOsirisson (Oct 3, 2016)

BritWolf said:


> Granted but you will only live for 3 more years.
> 
> I wish she would spend time with me like she does with him.



Granted, you are now his subconscious inside his head.

I wish I had super powers.


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## BritWolf (Oct 3, 2016)

Granted, But you're blind. You keep flying into buildings an zapping yourself.

I wish I could click my fingers an teleport to wherever I want in the world.


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