# Anyone want a very silly, unreliable and possibly rude tarot reading?



## Faustus (Feb 4, 2021)

Ok I got this deck of comedy tarot cards called the Arcane Bulls**t Tarot and I really need to get more use out of it because it’s hilarious! Who wants a tarot reading?! Just ask a question about the future and give me a number between one and 50 so I can cut the deck at random for you, and the cards shall answer in a wildly inaccurate but hopefully amusing manner!

due to the NSFW nature of some of the cards, I will be posting the readings on my FA as writing submissions and linking them here. If you’d rather have a private reading - like if you actually believe a tarot deck with cards like ‘pupa vomiting on cats’ and ‘space death’ might know anything about the future - then PM me instead!

I don’t know how many of these I’ve got in me so I may pick and choose my favourite questions to answer.

Aaaaaany takers?


----------



## Kit H. Ruppell (Feb 4, 2021)

Sure. Am bored borb.


----------



## Punji (Feb 4, 2021)

Please! Sounds fun!

Should I commission the esoteric arts I thirst for? 4!


----------



## Saokymo (Feb 4, 2021)

Am I finally gonna get a booty call this year? 37


----------



## TyraWadman (Feb 4, 2021)

Am i any closer to finding Mr Right? 7


----------



## Faustus (Feb 4, 2021)

Ok, starting on these now! You're all damn lucky I have insomnia, and a sleep-deprived hallucinatory mania is exactly the right state of mind to go around giving complete strangers advice that could drastically affect their future lives!

(@Kit H. Ruppell you forgot to ask a question)


----------



## Faustus (Feb 4, 2021)

@Punji here's yours! (Please don't hit me!)
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/40466350








						Arcane BS 1 - Punji by Doktor_Zeus
					

A reading on the Arcane BS Tarot for Punji - enjoy!




					www.furaffinity.net


----------



## Kit H. Ruppell (Feb 4, 2021)

Faustus said:


> Ok, starting on these now! You're all damn lucky I have insomnia, and a sleep-deprived hallucinatory mania is exactly the right state of mind to go around giving complete strangers advice that could drastically affect their future lives!
> 
> (@Kit H. Ruppell you forgot to ask a question)


Oopsie. What are my relationship prospects within the next few years?
9


----------



## TR273 (Feb 4, 2021)

Sounds silly....

I'm in!

Should I get started on my webcomic this year?

42


----------



## Faustus (Feb 4, 2021)

@Saokymo Here's yours:








						Arcane BS Spread - Saokymo by Doktor_Zeus
					

Arcane BS tarot spread for Saokymo's reading.




					www.furaffinity.net
				











						Arcane BS 2 - Saokymo by Doktor_Zeus
					

A reading on the Arcane Tarot for Saokymo.




					www.furaffinity.net


----------



## Faustus (Feb 4, 2021)

And one for you, @TyraWadman 









						Arcane BS Spread - TyraWadman by Doktor_Zeus
					

The large-format photo spread for TyraWadman's Arcane BS reading




					www.furaffinity.net
				











						Arcane BS 3 - TyraWadman by Doktor_Zeus
					

Arcane BS tarot reading for TyraWadman.




					www.furaffinity.net


----------



## Faustus (Feb 4, 2021)

Welp, it's past midnight now and I reckon I need a rest! I'll try and do some more tomorrow.


----------



## Ramjet (Feb 4, 2021)

Sure

Will I have a house in the next 3 years?

34


----------



## the sleepiest kitty (Feb 4, 2021)

Sorry, I forgot to ask a question so I deleted my last post.

Now then...

May I have a reading? =0

Question: will I ever be at peace?


----------



## Punji (Feb 4, 2021)

Faustus said:


> @Punji here's yours! (Please don't hit me!)
> https://www.furaffinity.net/view/40466350
> 
> 
> ...


Surprisingly accurate I think. 

Thanks! <3


----------



## Fallowfox (Feb 5, 2021)

Does fallowfox need a spanking? :3

19


----------



## Netanye Dakabi (Feb 6, 2021)

Faustus said:


> Ok I got this deck of comedy tarot cards called the Arcane Bulls**t Tarot and I really need to get more use out of it because it’s hilarious! Who wants a tarot reading?! Just ask a question about the future and give me a number between one and 50 so I can cut the deck at random for you, and the cards shall answer in a wildly inaccurate but hopefully amusing manner!
> 
> due to the NSFW nature of some of the cards, I will be posting the readings on my FA as writing submissions and linking them here. If you’d rather have a private reading - like if you actually believe a tarot deck with cards like ‘pupa vomiting on cats’ and ‘space death’ might know anything about the future - then PM me instead!
> 
> ...


okay as long as you're not too mean


----------



## Faustus (Feb 6, 2021)

New set coming soon!

@NetanDakabi no promises! I only say what the cards tell me! But I do promise that if I do say anything horrible, I really, really don't mean it.


----------



## Faustus (Feb 6, 2021)

@Kit H. Ruppell here's yours! Hope you like it! Also hope it's really inaccurate!









						Arcane BS Spread - Kit H. Ruppell by Doktor_Zeus
					

The full format spread for Kit H Ruppell's Arcane BS tarot reading




					www.furaffinity.net
				











						Arcane BS 4 - Kit H. Ruppell by Doktor_Zeus
					

Arcane BS reading for Kit H. Ruppell. Full format spread here: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/40496615/




					www.furaffinity.net


----------



## Faustus (Feb 6, 2021)

@TR273 here's yours. This is actually getting a bit spooky now! I swear all of these are genuine!









						Arcane BS Spread - TR273 by Doktor_Zeus
					

The full format spread for TR273's Arcane BS reading.




					www.furaffinity.net
				











						Arcane BS 5 - TR273 by Doktor_Zeus
					

Arcane BS reading for TR273. Full format spread is here:. https://www.furaffinity.net/view/40496916/




					www.furaffinity.net


----------



## TemetNosce88 (Feb 6, 2021)

I'll get in line for one.

Will I get the farm up and running this year? 47.


----------



## Faustus (Feb 6, 2021)

One more before bed, here's @Ramjet - another spookily appropriate set of cards here!








						Arcane BS Spread - Ramjet by Doktor_Zeus
					

The full format spread for Ramjet's Arcane BS reading




					www.furaffinity.net
				











						Arcane BS 6 - Ramjet by Doktor_Zeus
					

Arcane BS reading for Ramjet. Full format spread is here:. https://www.furaffinity.net/view/40497261/




					www.furaffinity.net


----------



## Ramjet (Feb 6, 2021)

Faustus said:


> One more before bed, here's @Ramjet - another spookily appropriate set of cards here!
> 
> 
> 
> ...



That was actually awesome xD


----------



## Kit H. Ruppell (Feb 6, 2021)

Faustus said:


> @Kit H. Ruppell here's yours! Hope you like it! Also hope it's really inaccurate!
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Present position is accurate >_>


----------



## Firuthi Dragovic (Feb 6, 2021)

Okay, I've got one:

What is most likely to get in the way of me paying off my student loans this year?

23


----------



## Faustus (Feb 10, 2021)

Just a quick note to say I've not forgotten, I'm just not getting a lot of spare time right now


----------



## Deleted member 82554 (Feb 10, 2021)

Well I already know my future but yeah why not, fire away.


----------



## Stray Cat Terry (Feb 10, 2021)

Will I be I a cat then?
18


----------



## Erix (May 4, 2021)

Woah, is this tarot business still a thing?? This sounds actually kinda cool.

On the off chance that it is, here's my question!:
-----------------------------------------------------
I don't ever plan on getting into one, but will I ever get into a romantic relationship? I'd like to see fate try me ha!

24


----------



## Foxridley (May 11, 2021)

I know the answer, but what is the question?

Will my research have an impact?

42


----------



## kelliegator (May 12, 2021)

Oh, this will be interesting!

Will I have a writing career and how will it go?

48.


----------



## Tennet_G (Jun 7, 2021)

Will I be plugged into the matrix at an old age?
50


----------



## Stray Cat Terry (Jun 7, 2021)

This sounds intriguing!!

Thankies so much for such an unusual opportunity, dear OP! UwU

So.. the question-


How can I understand the meaning of love, which I tend to revieve(or at least people tell me they do on me) but never understand?

14


----------



## Sabrinalanister56 (Jul 4, 2021)

Lmao.Sure, it's all a lot of fun, but if anyone is seriously interested in the questions asked here, you can always turn to the actual cards. Tarot card divination is a whole culture that can help you answer difficult questions. Tarot card divination is a whole culture that can help you answer difficult questions. I know from experience that any advice is important in difficult times. I recently decided to take a course in Tarot cards, on the one hand I was interested, on the other hand I was a little scared. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Found the course https://www.arrowsisters.com/product-page/tarot-card-reading-course   decided to pay, I was strongly drawn in. Since childhood I love mysticism, and so at the age of 25 I decided that I wanted to better understand the Tarot cards. The course was online and I had to run home after work to watch the lessons.  I liked that it was explained in simple language and they taught me how to do the cards for love, career and finances. Now I sometimes tell my colleagues on my breaks as long as they like it. I got a personal reading during the course and I think it's starting to come true. The main thing is not to jinx it.


----------



## TyraWadman (Jul 5, 2021)

Sabrinalanister56 said:


> Lmao.Sure, it's all a lot of fun, but if anyone is seriously interested in the questions asked here, you can always turn to the actual cards. Tarot card divination is a whole culture that can help you answer difficult questions.


Quit being so _prickly_!


----------



## Xitheon (Jul 5, 2021)

What will happen if I get another parrot?

77


----------



## TyraWadman (Jul 5, 2021)

Xitheon said:


> What will happen if I get another parrot?
> 
> 77


Then you will have two!


----------



## Koriekraiz13 (Jul 22, 2021)

Will i have a boyfriend, girlfriend, or something else in the future?
37


----------



## Fallowfox (Jul 23, 2021)

Will my butt survive the year? 

33


----------



## TyraWadman (Jul 23, 2021)

Fallowfox said:


> Will my butt survive the year?
> 
> 33


We already know that answer, fallow. Its a no.


----------



## Kiaara (Nov 25, 2021)

Faustus said:


> Ok I got this deck of comedy tarot cards called the Arcane Bulls**t Tarot and I really need to get more use out of it because it’s hilarious! Who wants a tarot reading?! Just ask a question about the future and give me a number between one and 50 so I can cut the deck at random for you, and the cards shall answer in a wildly inaccurate but hopefully amusing manner!
> 
> due to the NSFW nature of some of the cards, I will be posting the readings on my FA as writing submissions and linking them here. If you’d rather have a private reading - like if you actually believe a tarot deck with cards like ‘pupa vomiting on cats’ and ‘space death’ might know anything about the future - then PM me instead!
> 
> ...


ARE YOU STILL DOING THIS BECAUSE IF SO, DAB ME UP SCOTTY


----------



## Faustus (Nov 25, 2021)

Difficult to find the time, these days


----------



## Kiaara (Nov 25, 2021)

Faustus said:


> Difficult to find the time, these days


Oh word, I understand that!


----------

