# Pride Month Masterthread



## Le Chat Nécro (Jun 5, 2019)

HAPPY PRIDE MONTH!!!!!!​

Kind of surprised a thread like this didn't pop up sooner, so I decided to say "fuck it" and make my own!

June is officially here and officially the month for all things LGBTQIA+ (or MOGAI, or QUILTBAG, or whatever you prefer to call it!) 

No matter where you are on the acronym, no matter whether you are out or not, no matter if you're still figuring out what feels best for you or are an elder gay who's known for years, this is a time to be proud of who you are and know that you are not alone in this crazy world. <3

This thread is intended for Pride positivity and solidarity. I'll be posting a lot of super gay memes and cool pride merch (all made by independent queer creators, not big companies trying to profit off of our identities) and other interesting pride facts and resources. Feel free to add your own and keep the celebration going on the forums throughout the month!


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## Le Chat Nécro (Jun 6, 2019)

Some cute icons to start us off:

__
		https://did%3D944621da29cc2551c4e3f684913b3bdf328a0b1d%3Bid%3D184879698728%3Bkey%3DCHqlguD3h-eyP9vRdR0W3A%3Bname%3Dmc-fucking-icons


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## Le Chat Nécro (Jun 6, 2019)




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## Misha Bordiga Zahradník (Jun 6, 2019)

This thread is *big* *gay*.
And I'm an ally and approve of this.


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## Le Chat Nécro (Jun 6, 2019)

Misha Bordiga Zahradník said:


> This thread is *big* *gay*.
> And I'm an ally and approve of this.


Allies are most welcome to the big gay fun times. 
Y'all got your own flag, y'know



Personally I hate the design, but there ya go.


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## Misha Bordiga Zahradník (Jun 6, 2019)

Le Chat Nécro said:


> Allies are most welcome to the big gay fun times.
> Y'all got your own flag, y'know
> View attachment 63452
> Personally I hate the design, but there ya go.


Ew. Same.


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## ManicTherapsid (Jun 6, 2019)

Never knew we had an Aromantic flag. I like the color scheme.


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## Simo (Jun 6, 2019)

LordChestnut said:


> Never knew we had an Aromantic flag. I like the color scheme.



At first I read that as, 'Aromatic'.  Must be the Skunk in me!

Do we have a furry flag?


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## Le Chat Nécro (Jun 6, 2019)

LordChestnut said:


> Never knew we had an Aromantic flag. I like the color scheme.


I really like the ace and aro flags. Good dark neutrals.



Simo said:


> At first I read that as, 'Aromatic'.  Must be the Skunk in me!
> 
> Do we have a furry flag?


Not really, but there is a bear flag


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## Le Chat Nécro (Jun 6, 2019)

Also, if you're interested in Pride history, one of the people who was at the first Pride is actually still alive and doing stuff

__
		https://did%3D56ef5c6bb6d9d50b386407d4d39d028fd7a5e4de%3Bid%3D185413344402%3Bkey%3D9dy3SNbgLm1Jcm5JjMhS2w%3Bname%3Dnudityandnerdery


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## Garfieldthefatkittey (Jun 6, 2019)

Why the need for so many


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## Le Chat Nécro (Jun 6, 2019)

Garfieldthefatkittey said:


> Why the need for so many


So many what?


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## Simo (Jun 6, 2019)

Le Chat Nécro said:


> I really like the ace and aro flags. Good dark neutrals.
> 
> 
> Not really, but there is a bear flag



And I have also seen two variants of 'pup' flag, one with a paw, one with a bone:











...outside of The Baltimore Eagle, they have a number of flags, and that's the first time I saw a pup one.


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## KimberVaile (Jun 6, 2019)

Simo said:


> And I have also seen two variants of 'pup' flag, one with a paw, one with a bone:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



What does the pup flag represent? A bit lost on that one.


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## Simo (Jun 6, 2019)

KimberVaile said:


> What does the pup flag represent? A bit lost on that one.



Er, you know...guys into 'pup' play, as in, at least one of them is a 'pup': maybe in leather, rubber, even fur-suits, tails, masks, suits and such. Who knew it became so big that a gay bar in Baltimore would put up a flag for it?  Often there's a good ammount of cross-over with furries, but it is often just it's own thing.

A gateway drug to becoming a furry!

Edit: Also, this place has started to host 'furry' night, once a month, but I'm a bit timid to go; have never been to such a bar, but maybe? There is one this moth, for pride...on a Sunday. Gotta look at the date.


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## Tazmo (Jun 6, 2019)

Simo said:


> Edit: Also, this place has started to host 'furry' night, once a month, but I'm a bit timid to go; have never been to such a bar, but maybe? There is one this moth, for pride...on a Sunday. Gotta look at the date.




A shy extrovert?


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## Simo (Jun 6, 2019)

Tazmo said:


> A shy extrovert?



Anything is possible! Oddly, I have always felt very awkward in gay bars...I guess as I don't seem to fit the stereotypes, and don't like Madonna, or Lady Gaga, or techno, but prefer Joy Division and The Dead Kennedys? Maybe a punk-rock furry night at a gay bar, I'd feel more at home 

But I will probably go; it's close enough to walk to, might as well have a peek


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## Tazmo (Jun 6, 2019)

Simo said:


> Anything is possible! Oddly, I have always felt very awkward in gay bars...I guess as I don't seem to fit the stereotypes, and don't like Madonna, or Lady Gaga, or techno, but prefer Joy Division and The Dead Kennedys? Maybe a punk-rock furry night at a gay bar, I'd feel more at home
> 
> But I will probably go; it's close enough to walk to, might as well have a peek


Thats the spirit!

Never been to one.  They are far and few around here for some reason........


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## Cendrag Roseheart (Jun 6, 2019)

There was pulse.. Shame I couldn't go there sooner.


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## KimberVaile (Jun 6, 2019)

> Redacted by staff


Just labels that people choose to identify with, no need to get upset.


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## MaetheDragon (Jun 6, 2019)

> Redacted by staff



Well, that escalated quickly...



Le Chat Nécro said:


> Allies are most welcome to the big gay fun times.
> Y'all got your own flag, y'know
> View attachment 63452
> Personally I hate the design, but there ya go.



Also, yeah, ew... who picked the design for that flag? It looks all weird.

Also, where are all my Demi's at?






Not sure if I'm all that special by being Demi, but I'd be stoked if I found another Demi here!


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## Cendrag Roseheart (Jun 6, 2019)

WTF is demisexual?


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## Cendrag Roseheart (Jun 6, 2019)

......nvm


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## MaetheDragon (Jun 6, 2019)

Cendrag Roseheart said:


> WTF is demisexual?



I'ma just leave this link here for you, fren:

What is Demisexuality? – Demisexuality Resource Center

So, demisexuality is just having intense sexual feelings once a strong emotional connection has been made. In other words, I only do the hot times and experience sexual feelings after a relationship has been established. I don't like the pr0n, or anything like that. I don't get sexual feelings easily, so I feel like identifying as demisexual was perfect for me! That's all, fren.


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## Cendrag Roseheart (Jun 6, 2019)

k


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## Le Chat Nécro (Jun 6, 2019)

> Redacted by staff


Cause there's a lot of ways to experience attraction and gender and people like having words to describe their experiences. 
Sexuality is a complex and fascinating thing.



MCtheBeardie said:


> Also, yeah, ew... who picked the design for that flag? It looks all weird


I do not know, but it's the literal worst. So busy.





Simo said:


> And I have also seen two variants of 'pup' flag, one with a paw, one with a bone:
> 
> 
> 
> ...


It's just like the leather flag. Which makes sense all things considered.


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## Simo (Jun 6, 2019)

Le Chat Nécro said:


> Cause there's a lot of ways to experience attraction and gender and people like having words to describe their experiences.
> Sexuality is a complex and fascinating thing.
> 
> 
> ...



Oh! I see. Odd. I very much like latex/rubber, but have never found leather all that appealing, personally, in comparison.  (Well, I do like that Ramones biker jacket punk look, though...) Another flag might be needed


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## Le Chat Nécro (Jun 6, 2019)

Simo said:


> Oh! I see. Odd. I very much like latex/rubber, but have never found leather at all appealing, personally.  (Well, I do like that Ramones biker jacket punk look, though...) Another flag might be needed


Ask and ye shall receive




It looks cooler in latex.


Also, for the not so out but still proud folx:

__
		https://did%3D921092b6ae087d9c0699047db5de3b6fa7547271%3Bid%3D185379853855%3Bkey%3Do2DfTyEhh0jl4UaMQLvEyw%3Bname%3Dhuntydraws


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## Le Chat Nécro (Jun 7, 2019)

__
		https://did%3Da7ab982ad13c71a61ba2100dd931e12baaeb0fb5%3Bid%3D185421857161%3Bkey%3Dm2YGdGwnraIPKlY0HoMKnQ%3Bname%3Dvaspider
Not sure how true this is, but I really fucking love the concept of a gay debutante ball.


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## quoting_mungo (Jun 7, 2019)

This rolled across my Twitter feed day or two ago and I have such mixed feelings.

__ https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1136387878970363906Mostly, as a bisexual person in a straight-passing relationship, I find it a bit hurtful to have someone say that me walking with my boyfriend is somehow an expression of straight pride. Like, I get that the whole thing is satire/comedy, and most of it is varying degrees of fucking hilarious, but that part gets a little too close to the gatekeeping surrounding some queer events where straight-passing queer couples/individuals are made to feel unwelcome. So that part could have been executed better.

Hell, I have mixed feelings on the whole concept of straight pride in general:
On one hand, it's really tone deaf for people to call for a straight pride parade IN JUNE. I'm not entirely surprised, because 'Murrca, but still tone deaf. On the other, I think it's important to let people celebrate their identities regardless of what those identities are, long as it's not done at the expense of more marginalized people (which scheduling a straight pride parade during Pride month is - thus inappropriate). If you can celebrate your heterosexuality without ragging on queer identities, go the fuck ahead, any other time of the fucking year. (And yes, I realize that the people calling for such a parade most likely would be ragging on queer identities; this is more a reflection on the conceptual viability of the whole thing.)

Part of my reasoning comes down to the fact that not all soul-searching ends up in rainbow land in the end. While I do not know them personally, I have had recounted to me the story of a personal friend of the speaker who spent a number of years experimenting with their sexuality in search of themselves. Eventually, they found themselves, and that happened to be "straight." To me that person has put in enough legwork to _earn_ some pride.

But I also get pretty incensed at Pride-related gatekeeping in general. If people want to turn up and look at the floats and things, let them. If people want to turn up and show their support of the community, let them. If people feel that they fit under the umbrella that Pride represents, don't go quibbling and trying to push them out. Making Pride about exclusion just feels so incredibly backwards to me.



Le Chat Nécro said:


> __
> https://did%3Da7ab982ad13c71a61ba2100dd931e12baaeb0fb5%3Bid%3D185421857161%3Bkey%3Dm2YGdGwnraIPKlY0HoMKnQ%3Bname%3Dvaspider
> Not sure how true this is, but I really fucking love the concept of a gay debutante ball.


I'm still trying to work up the nerve to come out (at least as poly) to my extended family - in large part because I'm currently _living_ with boyfriend and it feels kinda shitty to him to have him be "Alex's friend." The idea of combining this with a belated birthday party has been toyed with.

Which is less, I suppose, about big glammy celebrations of gayness (which admittedly sound fucking awesome), and more about combining coming out with any kind of celebration. Though to me it would also be a bit of a celebration of our relationship at that point.


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## FluffyShutterbug (Jun 7, 2019)

quoting_mungo said:


> This rolled across my Twitter feed day or two ago and I have such mixed feelings.
> 
> __ https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1136387878970363906Mostly, as a bisexual person in a straight-passing relationship, I find it a bit hurtful to have someone say that me walking with my boyfriend is somehow an expression of straight pride. Like, I get that the whole thing is satire/comedy, and most of it is varying degrees of fucking hilarious, but that part gets a little too close to the gatekeeping surrounding some queer events where straight-passing queer couples/individuals are made to feel unwelcome. So that part could have been executed better.
> 
> ...


I'm pretty sure that the reason why they're trying to do "Straight Pride" NOW is to go, "Fuck you, queers! We're gonna upstage you! Take THAT!"
No, not all straight people are like that, and I'd be an asshole to say that. But, I've noticed that some people are very fragile in their sexuality and think that homophobia is necessary to convince themselves and their buddies that they don't have a shred of homosexuality in them, which is BS, because sexuality exists on a spectrum.  That, and some people of privilege can't stand the thought of other people having stuff that they can't have. These are the people who get pissed off at handicapped parking spaces.
Rant over, but I find the whole "Straight Pride" stuff to both insulting and utter horseshit at the same time. Straight people NEVER had to fight just for the right to exist in public, after all.


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## KimberVaile (Jun 7, 2019)

FluffyShutterbug said:


> I'm pretty sure that the reason why they're trying to do "Straight Pride" NOW is to go, "Fuck you, queers! We're gonna upstage you! Take THAT!"
> No, not all straight people are like that, and I'd be an asshole to say that. But, I've noticed that some people are very fragile in their sexuality and think that homophobia is necessary to convince themselves and their buddies that they don't have a shred of homosexuality in them, which is BS, because sexuality exists on a spectrum.  That, and some people of privilege can't stand the thought of other people having stuff that they can't have. These are the people who get pissed off at handicapped parking spaces.
> Rant over, but I find the whole "Straight Pride" stuff to both insulting and utter horseshit at the same time. Straight people NEVER had to fight just for the right to exist in public, after all.



To an extent I agree, I think there are blinders being put on as to what prompted the gay pride push. Though, if straights want their own month to do their straight thing, ehhh. They can go ahead. Doesn't bother me too much, does bother me when they're trying to upstage gays like it's a contest. But I guess they're free to be entitled troglodytes. Really whiny bunch of people really.
Though on the other hand, I've also found whipping up in a frenzy over past transgressions too much will make you lose sight of yourself and pushes you further towards insular thinking, so I try not to think of gay pride as remembering past abuses. I always fancied it more like a sort of a solidarity thing, which is fine.

That said, it's one thing to I guess, scoff at people trying to find communion and strength in who they are, as there are far less gays then there are straights, (hence the justification for a gay pride month). It's another for straight dudes to react to that by defensively posturing about how important they are, cause apparently there are quite a few limp dicked straight people who feel threatened by that.

Doing that straight pride thing at the same time the gay pride thing seems pretty bitchmade, but that's just me.


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## FluffyShutterbug (Jun 7, 2019)

KimberVaile said:


> To an extent I agree, I think there are blinders being put on as to what prompted the gay pride push. Though, if straights want their own month to do their straight thing, ehhh. They can go ahead. Doesn't bother me too much, does bother me when they're trying to upstage gays like it's a contest. But I guess they're free to be entitled troglodytes. Really whiny bunch of people really.
> Though on the other hand, I've also found whipping up in a frenzy over past transgressions too much will make you lose sight of yourself and push your further towards insular thinking, so I try not to think of gay pride as remembering past abused. I always fancied it more like a sort of a solidarity thing.
> 
> That said, it's one thing to I guess, scoff at people trying to find communion and strength in who there are, as there are far less gays then there are straights, (hence the justification for a gay pride month). It's another for straight dudes to react to that by defensively posturing about how important they are, cause apparently there are quite a few limp dicked straight people who feel threatened by that.
> ...


Yeah, why can't they wait until July?


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## KimberVaile (Jun 7, 2019)

FluffyShutterbug said:


> Yeah, why can't they wait until July?


They're not too different from those brainlets who complain there's 'too much gay art in the fandom', my sexuality is not a majority any more, waaaah!
They're just obnoxious and entitled, get all hissy when things aren't going how they want them.


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## FluffyShutterbug (Jun 7, 2019)

KimberVaile said:


> They're not too different from those brainlets who complain there's 'too much gay art in the fandom', my sexuality is not a majority any more, waaaah!
> They're just obnoxious and needy, and want everything their way.


They think just because we exist, we're "too common".
And, FFS, isn't half of the fandom gay? If you don't like that, find a different fandom! *Facepalms*


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## KimberVaile (Jun 7, 2019)

FluffyShutterbug said:


> They think just because we exist, we're "too common".
> And, FFS, isn't half of the fandom gay? If you don't like that, find a different fandom! *Facepalms*



Straights are quite common in real life, most media caters to that too. So, it's ironic when straight guys complain about the fandom having to much gay art, to be quite honest. They don't even have much ground to complain, really.

Anyways, getting a little sidetracked. My b.


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## FluffyShutterbug (Jun 7, 2019)

KimberVaile said:


> Straights are quite common in real life, most media caters to that too. So, it's ironic when straight guys complain about the fandom having to much gay art, to be quite honest. They don't even have much ground to complain, really.
> 
> Anyways, getting a little sidetracked. My b.


Nah, it's fine. I hate the whole "Equality is oppression" mentality that privileged people have, and it deserves to be called out.


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## quoting_mungo (Jun 7, 2019)

If we make Pride an excuse to rag on straight people, we're honestly no better than the people who want a parade to undermine queer Pride events' legitimacy. 

I think it's important to remember the roots of Pride as a commemoration of the Stonewall riots, while also accepting that we've grown beyond just that. To me, at least, Pride is less about pride-as-in-taking-pride-in; it's not more (or less) awesome to be queer than not to be. Instead, I see it as pride-as-opposed-to-shame; we're not going to be swept under the rug or hide, and to unite for a parade is a way to remind people that we're people just like them - including EMTs and firemen and other vital service providers.

This thing that popped up on my Twitter feed I think was a cool step in the right direction:

__ https://twitter.com/i/web/status/1136686965636653056


FluffyShutterbug said:


> Rant over, but I find the whole "Straight Pride" stuff to both insulting and utter horseshit at the same time. Straight people NEVER had to fight just for the right to exist in public, after all.


Yes and no. A few generations ago it would have been scandalous as all fuck for an unmarried man and woman to live together, whether or not they were actually involved romantically, while a couple of "spinsters" sharing accomodations would pass without much comment. Kissing in public would be unthinkable. It's a _different_ liberation, but if straight (and gay, tbh) people want to, say, commemorate the sexual revolution, that doesn't seem untoward to me. The problem is the motivation (which, as I already acknowledged, in many cases is less than commendable) and timing, not the desire to have a "yeah, you know what, I'm confident in my sexuality and proud of that" thing. As I said earlier, some straight people arrive at that conclusion after a lot of soul-searching, and I think they deserve kudos for going through that effort.


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## Misha Bordiga Zahradník (Jun 7, 2019)

quoting_mungo said:


> If we make Pride an excuse to rag on straight people, we're honestly no better than the people who want a parade to undermine queer Pride events' legitimacy.
> 
> I think it's important to remember the roots of Pride as a commemoration of the Stonewall riots, while also accepting that we've grown beyond just that. To me, at least, Pride is less about pride-as-in-taking-pride-in; it's not more (or less) awesome to be queer than not to be. Instead, I see it as pride-as-opposed-to-shame; we're not going to be swept under the rug or hide, and to unite for a parade is a way to remind people that we're people just like them - including EMTs and firemen and other vital service providers.
> 
> ...


The problem is the motivation for the straight pride stuff has always come from the worst possible place. It's the same shit as "all lives matter"; it exists as a counter-movement against social change; while trying to create a false equivalence in order to gain access to the victim card.  It started from a place of Homophobia, and should be seen for what it is.


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## FluffyShutterbug (Jun 7, 2019)

quoting_mungo said:


> If we make Pride an excuse to rag on straight people, we're honestly no better than the people who want a parade to undermine queer Pride events' legitimacy.
> 
> I think it's important to remember the roots of Pride as a commemoration of the Stonewall riots, while also accepting that we've grown beyond just that. To me, at least, Pride is less about pride-as-in-taking-pride-in; it's not more (or less) awesome to be queer than not to be. Instead, I see it as pride-as-opposed-to-shame; we're not going to be swept under the rug or hide, and to unite for a parade is a way to remind people that we're people just like them - including EMTs and firemen and other vital service providers.
> 
> ...


No, no, no. I'm not saying that all straight people are bad. I explicitly said that in my post. But, I'm ragging on the ones who feel "threatened" by Pride Month; like they have to make noise, or else straight people will somehow disappear from the world.


Misha Bordiga Zahradník said:


> The problem is the motivation for the straight pride stuff has always come from the worst possible place. It's the same shit as "all lives matter"; it exists as a counter-movement against social change; while trying to create a false equivalence in order to gain access to the victim card.  It started from a place of Homophobia, and should be seen for what it is.


Yeah, I agree.


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## KimberVaile (Jun 7, 2019)

FluffyShutterbug said:


> No, no, no. I'm not saying that all straight people are bad. I explicitly said that in my post. But, I'm ragging on the ones who feel "threatened" by Pride Month; like they have to make noise, or else straight people will somehow disappear from the world.
> 
> Yeah, I agree.



Yup, most of the conversation was just picking at the entitled straight dudes. Chances are, if you're not acting like an entitled loon, you're not the straight guys mentioned in the previous conversation.


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## FluffyShutterbug (Jun 7, 2019)

KimberVaile said:


> Yup, most of the conversation was just picking at the entitled straight dudes. Chances are, if you're not acting like an entitled loon, you're not the straight guys mentioned in the previous conversation.


Maybe they (the entitled loons you were speaking of) think that pornography featuring women will become rarer because of us?


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## KimberVaile (Jun 7, 2019)

FluffyShutterbug said:


> Maybe they (the entitled loons you were speaking of) think that pornography featuring women will become rarer because of us?


Imo. I think it is a misplaced sense of traditionalism, and on occasion genuine homophobia or homophobia masquerading as religious piety. Or maybe they think their movies and video games will become too gay, I haven't the slightest idea, actually.


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## FluffyShutterbug (Jun 7, 2019)

KimberVaile said:


> Imo. I think it is a misplaced sense of traditionalism, and on occasion genuine homophobia or homophobia masquerading as religious piety. Or maybe they think their movies will become too gay, I haven't the slightest idea, actually.


Movies becoming "too gay"? What does that mean?


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## KimberVaile (Jun 7, 2019)

FluffyShutterbug said:


> Movies becoming "too gay"? What does that mean?


Bothered by movies with more gay characters, too pc, and so on. I'm usually not super gung ho on pc topics but I do find the complaint really strange myself.


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## FluffyShutterbug (Jun 7, 2019)

KimberVaile said:


> Bothered by movies with more gay characters, too pc, and so on.


Oh, FFS. People who get triggered by having characters that aren't white cis-het males in their movies or video games are fuckin' snowflakes!


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## Simo (Jun 7, 2019)

Saw this today; there's still a ways to go...I think in small towns, it can still be pretty hard:

slate.com: Alabama Mayor Suggests “Killing” LGBTQ People Is “Only Way” to Fix Society’s Problems

"Mark Chambers, the mayor of Carbon Hill, Alabama, made the comment in response to his own post listing what he saw as society’s ills. “We live in a society where homosexuals lecture us on morals, transvestites lecture us on human biology, baby killers lecture us on human rights and socialists lecture us on economics,” he wrote.

A Facebook friend of his replied to the comment: “By giving the minority more rights than the majority. I hate to think of the country my grandkids will live in unless somehow we change and I think that will take a revolution.”

Chambers responded to that comment with his solution. “The only way to change it would be to kill the problem out. I know it’s bad to say but with out killing them out there’s no way to fix it.”

And so, progress still remains to be made.


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## FluffyShutterbug (Jun 7, 2019)

Simo said:


> Saw this today; there's still a ways to go...I think in small towns, it can still be pretty hard:
> 
> slate.com: Alabama Mayor Suggests “Killing” LGBTQ People Is “Only Way” to Fix Society’s Problems
> 
> ...


Yeah I heard about that... Thing.
I actually cited that as an example on Twitter of why I think "Straight Pride" is utter horse manure.


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## Misha Bordiga Zahradník (Jun 7, 2019)

Alabama makes me wish General Sherman had burned more shit these days.


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## Le Chat Nécro (Jun 7, 2019)

quoting_mungo said:


> Mostly, as a bisexual person in a straight-passing relationship, I find it a bit hurtful to have someone say that me walking with my boyfriend is somehow an expression of straight pride. Like, I get that the whole thing is satire/comedy, and most of it is varying degrees of fucking hilarious, but that part gets a little too close to the gatekeeping surrounding some queer events where straight-passing queer couples/individuals are made to feel unwelcome. So that part could have been executed better.


As a fellow bi person in a straight passing relationship.. I feel ya. 
There can be a lot of nasty gatekeeping in the community and it can affect a lot of people. I understand the instinct to not want het-passing people at your big gay parade. It does send a mixed message if you don't look to close at it. But if you do look close at it, you're cutting off a lot of people who deserve to be there as much as anyone else. Bi's and Pan's in straight passing relationships, same gender relationships where one person is trans and doesn't "pass" sufficiently, genderqueer people who are presenting "incorrectly" for the event (big quotes on that one), aces hanging out with different gender friends... This need for people to look "gay enough" for pride is setting a really awful bar that we should not be putting on each other. Like... society comes with enough pressures for gay people. We shouldn't be doing this to each other. 

As for straight pride... for me I think it's important to differentiate between personal pride and capital P Pride. Anyone can have personal pride about anything. Some things make a bit more sense to be proud of than others (like, being proud that I'm blonde doesn't really make a lot of sense since it has literally no impact on my life and I did absolutely nothing to achieve this), but on an individual level, you do you. But Pride was in direct response to Shame. Lots of (awful) people like to paint Pride as somehow saying that being gay is better than being straight or that non gays should be ashamed, but that's not it. It's a middle finger to a society that told gay people that they should be the ones ashamed, a society that mistreated and harmed gay people for being "less than" and "abominations". Big P Pride is about affirming that "no, I will not be ashamed of who I am because you say who I love is wrong. In fact, I'm going to go so far in the other direction there's going to be a damned parade". 

So yeah. Your friend has every right to be proud of their journey and work and ultimate self realization. But Straight Pride is a bit wonky and completely misses the nuance that is Gay Pride. 
At least in my opinion. 


quoting_mungo said:


> I'm still trying to work up the nerve to come out (at least as poly) to my extended family - in large part because I'm currently _living_ with boyfriend and it feels kinda shitty to him to have him be "Alex's friend." The idea of combining this with a belated birthday party has been toyed with.
> 
> Which is less, I suppose, about big glammy celebrations of gayness (which admittedly sound fucking awesome), and more about combining coming out with any kind of celebration. Though to me it would also be a bit of a celebration of our relationship at that point.


I mean, we all get to choose how we want to celebrate. I hope whatever choice you make, you feel wonderful and secure in that decision. And a birthday party/relationship reveal sounds awesome.
You could do a whole parody of a gender reveal party if you wanted something a little extra. "CONGRATS! IT'S A.... POLYAMORIST!" *cue glitter explosions*


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## Le Chat Nécro (Jun 7, 2019)

Speaking of how far we've come, and how far we have yet to go, let's talk a little about first Pride. 

This year will be the 50th anniversary of the Stonewall Riots. And I think with all the glitter and rainbows and parades it's easy to forget that the first Pride was in fact *a riot*. It wasn't pretty or fabulous. Police raided the Stonewall Inn as they did nearly once a month, as it was a well known gay hang out, breaking up and arresting the revelers inside. But this time, instead of going quietly to their jail cells for crimes no more severe than wearing a dress while having a penis, they fought back. First coins were thrown (a nod to the huge payoffs the cops would get from gay bars as protection money from their morality raids), then bottles, then rocks. Billy clubs were drawn. People were liberated from paddy wagons. Riot control was called in. Instead of fleeing, rioters broke formation, ran around the block, and came back up behind the line of police and enforcers. At one point a chorus line of drag queens came in singing. 

_‘We are the Stonewall girls_
_We wear our hair in curls_
_We wear no underwear_
_We show our pubic hair…_
_We wear our dungarees_
_Above our nelly knees!’_

It was a delicious mockery of the whole violent affair. The next night, the same thing went down. And the night after that. For five days they protested, handing out leaflets about police brutality and mafia profiteering against gays and queers.  People like Marsha P Johnson, Silvia Rivera, Storme DeLarverie were there throwing the first march that would turn into the Gay Rights Movement as we think of it today.

A year later, Brenda Howard organized the 1 year anniversary rally to commemorate the riots which would become the annual Pride March we know today. But it didn't start out being about pride. It was about fighting for their rights to exist as themselves without fear or oppression. It was a violent affair that sparked more work and more demonstrations to get us where we are today. 

I've been posting a lot straight from Tumblr, so I'll simply paraphrase things this time around
"you cannot settle into the mentality that someone fought so that you wouldn’t have to"
The people that night fifty years ago fought hard, really really hard, to make the progress they did. And we have come so far. But we're not quite there yet. It's important to know our history, and reflect on our future. What we can do to build on the legacy of Stonewall and the brave people who decided that it was time for change. 

Good links to learn more:
Brenda Howard Memorial website: www.nyabn.org: Brenda Howard 1946-2005
A Free Essay on Why Stonewall became *the* Event that everyone remembers: http://www-personal.umich.edu/~elarmstr/publications/Movements and Memory Armstrong and Crage.pdf
6 Major Moments in LGBT History other than Stonewall: www.them.us: 6 Major Moments in Queer History BEYOND the Stonewall Riots


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## Le Chat Nécro (Jun 7, 2019)

And now for something completely different:
sosuperawesome.com: Purrr-ride! Iron-on Patches Giraffe Cos on Etsy ... |

__
		https://did%3D2aed4a8f996ef41b067ec6fd2f55c8af10d882ff%3Bid%3D184402950004%3Bkey%3D-88_Oo_ACEz_XiXspwMD-w%3Bname%3Drose-sapphic


__
		https://did%3D47b5cd182839658c0318dbe1007e8b0c0076a21f%3Bid%3D180895126471%3Bkey%3DJBIYpnfxFxCrFeyGMiUjjQ%3Bname%3Dprideknights


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## quoting_mungo (Jun 7, 2019)

Misha Bordiga Zahradník said:


> The problem is the motivation for the straight pride stuff has always come from the worst possible place. It's the same shit as "all lives matter"; it exists as a counter-movement against social change; while trying to create a false equivalence in order to gain access to the victim card.  It started from a place of Homophobia, and should be seen for what it is.


And that makes the motivation shitty, no contest there. I see conceptual viability as separate, and am not as confident as you seem to be that the motivation by nature _has_ to be toxic. (As in, I will readily recognize that it takes very little rounding to arrive at 100% of people who would be participating in a straight pride event in our current social climate would be acting in bad faith. But I also believe the potential exists for something more positive to arise at some point. I'd love for _all_ sexuality to come from a point of self-discovery rather than a point of assuming the default.)



FluffyShutterbug said:


> No, no, no. I'm not saying that all straight people are bad. I explicitly said that in my post. But, I'm ragging on the ones who feel "threatened" by Pride Month; like they have to make noise, or else straight people will somehow disappear from the world.


It's more of a general statement. It's sadly more common than it ought to be for hostility against straight people to creep out in queer spaces, and sometimes it almost seems as though people forget that straight people no more choose their sexuality than we choose ours.



Le Chat Nécro said:


> As a fellow bi person in a straight passing relationship.. I feel ya.
> There can be a lot of nasty gatekeeping in the community and it can affect a lot of people. I understand the instinct to not want het-passing people at your big gay parade. It does send a mixed message if you don't look to close at it. But if you do look close at it, you're cutting off a lot of people who deserve to be there as much as anyone else. Bi's and Pan's in straight passing relationships, same gender relationships where one person is trans and doesn't "pass" sufficiently, genderqueer people who are presenting "incorrectly" for the event (big quotes on that one), aces hanging out with different gender friends... This need for people to look "gay enough" for pride is setting a really awful bar that we should not be putting on each other. Like... society comes with enough pressures for gay people. We shouldn't be doing this to each other.


Boyfriend and I actually went to a local Pride parade the other week, and he remarked that it felt weird to him to be there with a girlfriend; both he and my husband lean gay, so he's always been with male partners before. 

The other important group cut out by gatekeeping is closeted people. If you have to "present queer" (whatever that's supposed to mean) in order to be welcome, where does that put the people who call themselves "allies" because they're not yet ready to come out? (My understanding is that this meaning of "ally" is a factor in why Straight-Gay-Alliance is SGA instead of the school LGBTQ+ club or whatever.) Or, say, the straight partners of queer individuals? Should we forbid those queer individuals from bringing their partner to an event that is meaningful to them? 

The only group I personally felt kinda grossed out by seeing at Pride was political parties very obviously hunting for votes for the EU parliament elections the same weekend. Ideally, the only commercial/political interests participating would be those that are supportive year round, but the absolute least they can do is to put the focus of their damn booth on their QUILTBAG policies, not on getting EU parliament seats. Partly this was probably a matter of bad timing, but partly it shines a light on how much of a PR lightshow Pride is to some organizations.



Le Chat Nécro said:


> But Pride was in direct response to Shame. Lots of (awful) people like to paint Pride as somehow saying that being gay is better than being straight or that non gays should be ashamed, but that's not it. It's a middle finger to a society that told gay people that they should be the ones ashamed, a society that mistreated and harmed gay people for being "less than" and "abominations". Big P Pride is about affirming that "no, I will not be ashamed of who I am because you say who I love is wrong. In fact, I'm going to go so far in the other direction there's going to be a damned parade".


I absolutely agree with this interpretation of the name Pride and if you've got any kind of corroborating sources handy that this was the origin of the choice of name for the event/movement I'd be tickled pink to see them, because I've searched and come up with little. Sadly, I think gatekeeping to some degree feeds the "the queers think they're better than us" rhetoric; "you can't come to my party" isn't exactly something you tend to say to people you think highly of in everyday life. But then I also have a major chip on my shoulder where gatekeeping is concerned, and I'll readily own that.


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## FluffyShutterbug (Jun 7, 2019)

quoting_mungo said:


> And that makes the motivation shitty, no contest there. I see conceptual viability as separate, and am not as confident as you seem to be that the motivation by nature _has_ to be toxic. (As in, I will readily recognize that it takes very little rounding to arrive at 100% of people who would be participating in a straight pride event in our current social climate would be acting in bad faith. But I also believe the potential exists for something more positive to arise at some point. I'd love for _all_ sexuality to come from a point of self-discovery rather than a point of assuming the default.)
> 
> 
> It's more of a general statement. It's sadly more common than it ought to be for hostility against straight people to creep out in queer spaces, and sometimes it almost seems as though people forget that straight people no more choose their sexuality than we choose ours.
> ...


Of course I know that sexuality isn't a choice. I'd be a hypocrite if I said that about myself and my group while thinking, even subconsciously, that it wasn't true for them. My gripe lies in the privilege that straight people enjoy, especially of Caucasian men that are straight. You know what privilege means in the context  that I'm using, right? That's where my animosity lies. That's all.


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## Troj (Jun 8, 2019)

Actually, I have a question!

Could someone explain demiromanticism to me, and why it falls under the LGBTQ umbrella?

Offhand, I don't see it as a big to-do that somebody would only feel sexual attraction towards people they feel comfortable with, and my assumption is that such an attractional style is much better-understood and widely-accepted than the opposite style (i.e., nymphomania).

I've hesitated to ask about this, because I didn't want to be perceived as/accused of gatekeeping or being exclusionary, but I am curious, because I genuinely don't get it. I realize my confusion may stem from my assumption that demiromanticism is more common than it might actually be in reality. My attempts to research this on my own resulted in the same definitions and descriptions popping up again and again, without answering my questions here.


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## MaetheDragon (Jun 8, 2019)

Troj said:


> Actually, I have a question!
> 
> Could someone explain demiromanticism to me, and why it falls under the LGBTQ umbrella?
> 
> ...



That’s actually a good question! I can understand Demisexuality, as sexuality is inherently different from romanticism in my opinion, but I don’t get people who identify as Demiromantic. Because, that’s how romance works- you don’t fall in love with someone romantically at a glance, in my view. On the other hand, Demisexuality makes sense, because things like one night stands and friends with benefits exist. I identify as Demisexual because I don’t like pornographic content at all or really do much to myself, and I’d like to have a romantic relationship before I go and do the deed with them, if at all. That’s reasonable, because it can be considered a part of the Asexual spectrum.

I don’t understand Demiromanticism either, tbh.


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## Bink (Jun 8, 2019)

I'm not big into being the loud and proud type, but I'm also not content to feel like I'm in the shadows or being avoidant about who I am... using this month to motivate me to conquer those fears and obstacles.. not working out the best so far...

Came out to my dad the other day.. he proceeded to convey his disbelief by saying that I should get a psych eval... and that maybe I'm just confused and desperate; as if that being gay/bi is the easier alternative than trying to meet a woman..

Like.. what the actual fuck...


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## Infrarednexus (Jun 8, 2019)

I discovered recently that I am actually demisexual and not completely homosexual like I thought. Glad to know there are others like me out there who understand.


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## KimberVaile (Jun 8, 2019)

Bink said:


> I'm not big into being the loud and proud type, but I'm also not content to feel like I'm in the shadows or being avoidant about who I am... using this month to motivate me to conquer those fears and obstacles.. not working out the best so far...
> 
> Came out to my dad the other day.. he proceeded to convey his disbelief by saying that I should get a psych eval... and that maybe I'm just confused and desperate; as if that being gay/bi is the easier alternative than trying to meet a woman..
> 
> Like.. what the actual fuck...



I'm sorry about that Bink. For my part, I've always felt part of pride month is finding communion with your fellow gays, who've had similarly suffered or struggled under narrow minded societal norms.  Sometimes we end up finding pushback from the people closest to us. Awful thing, but I hope it might help some to know others have struggled in much the same way, and that it gets better in time.

Sorry if, that wasn't all too helpful. I'm not the best motivational speaker, but I try.


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## Cendrag Roseheart (Jun 8, 2019)

I'm just BI, nothing special..


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## Le Chat Nécro (Jun 8, 2019)

quoting_mungo said:


> I absolutely agree with this interpretation of the name Pride and if you've got any kind of corroborating sources handy that this was the origin of the choice of name for the event/movement I'd be tickled pink to see them, because I've searched and come up with little. Sadly, I think gatekeeping to some degree feeds the "the queers think they're better than us" rhetoric; "you can't come to my party" isn't exactly something you tend to say to people you think highly of in everyday life. But then I also have a major chip on my shoulder where gatekeeping is concerned, and I'll readily own that.


I don't. It's my personal interpretation mostly. This is the best I've been able to come across so far which basically sums it up as "We don't know, no one wrote this shit down."  www.bustle.com: This Is Why It's Called Pride
Though another bustle article on pride does include this quote from Schoonmaker, one of the "founders of pride" along with Brenda Howard and Robert Martin. 
"People did not have power then; even now, we only have some, but anyone can have pride in themselves, and that would make them happier as people, and produce the movement likely to produce change."



Troj said:


> I've hesitated to ask about this, because I didn't want to be perceived as/accused of gatekeeping or being exclusionary, but I am curious, because I genuinely don't get it. I realize my confusion may stem from my assumption that demiromanticism is more common than it might actually be in reality. My attempts to research this on my own resulted in the same definitions and descriptions popping up again and again, without answering my questions here.


Honest questions are always welcome. Some concepts and identities are legitimately hard to grasp if you're a person who hasn't experienced it (explaining asexuality to my mother was like teaching physics to a toddler, she just did not get it). I am not demiromanitc myself, so grain of salt here, but hopefully this might help clear things up for you and @MCtheBeardie 
From what I can gather, to understand demiromanticism you need to break up romantic attraction into to parts- primary attraction (think like a crush) and secondary attraction (a deeper, more commonly thought of attraction). People who are not demiro can develop a romantic crush on someone before knowing them that well or having much of connection. I think of it like my middle school days when even a small smile from the new kid in class would send my heart into a flutter despite us never having spoken 3 words to each other. But no, we would certainly get married and live happily ever after cause ~Love~. Demiromantics, on the other hand, won't (or are unlikely) to crush before forming more of a bond and relationship with someone. 



Bink said:


> I'm not big into being the loud and proud type, but I'm also not content to feel like I'm in the shadows or being avoidant about who I am... using this month to motivate me to conquer those fears and obstacles.. not working out the best so far...
> 
> Came out to my dad the other day.. he proceeded to convey his disbelief by saying that I should get a psych eval... and that maybe I'm just confused and desperate; as if that being gay/bi is the easier alternative than trying to meet a woman..
> 
> Like.. what the actual fuck...


I'm really sorry that happened. It's a really unfortunate part of life that no matter how much we love ourselves, there will always be someone who doesn't, or who just can't understand. Do what you need to do to feel proud of yourself, it doesn't have to be a bright and shining parade, and keep yourself safe. I hope your dad will come around, but at the very least know that there are a whole bunch of people in the world who already understand and who will love the shit out of you as you are. 



Cendrag Roseheart said:


> I'm just BI, nothing special..


Bi is great.


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## Cendrag Roseheart (Jun 8, 2019)

How so?


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## Le Chat Nécro (Jun 8, 2019)

Cendrag Roseheart said:


> How so?


Well, as a bi person, I think it's just the best. 
But it's you, loving who you want to love in a world that doesn't always recognize that as valid. And bi's can get a lot of flack from inside the community as well as from the straights (see the gatekeeping conversation me and mungo were having above). 
To be fair, all letters on the acronym are great. But bi is my favorite for clearly biased reasons.


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## MaetheDragon (Jun 8, 2019)

Le Chat Nécro said:


> Honest questions are always welcome. Some concepts and identities are legitimately hard to grasp if you're a person who hasn't experienced it (explaining asexuality to my mother was like teaching physics to a toddler, she just did not get it). I am not demiromanitc myself, so grain of salt here, but hopefully this might help clear things up for you and @MCtheBeardie
> From what I can gather, to understand demiromanticism you need to break up romantic attraction into to parts- primary attraction (think like a crush) and secondary attraction (a deeper, more commonly thought of attraction). People who are not demiro can develop a romantic crush on someone before knowing them that well or having much of connection. I think of it like my middle school days when even a small smile from the new kid in class would send my heart into a flutter despite us never having spoken 3 words to each other. But no, we would certainly get married and live happily ever after cause ~Love~. Demiromantics, on the other hand, won't (or are unlikely) to crush before forming more of a bond and relationship with someone.



In that respect, I suppose that makes sense! I don't really experience sexual attraction outside of very specific conditions, but that doesn't mean I'm not hopelessly romantic. I wouldn't know what being Demiromantic is like, so thank you for clarifying!


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## Le Chat Nécro (Jun 8, 2019)

MCtheBeardie said:


> In that respect, I suppose that makes sense! I don't really experience sexual attraction outside of very specific conditions, but that doesn't mean I'm not hopelessly romantic. I wouldn't know what being Demiromantic is like, so thank you for clarifying!


Oh course, people who are actually demiromantic would probably be able to explain it better. But glad I could help.


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## Fallowfox (Jun 8, 2019)

@Le Chat Nécro @Troj Personally I've found things like 'polyamory' and 'demiromantic' being considered under the lgbt umbrella a little difficult- especially if these exist in the context of straight people staking a claim in lgbt. 

I've been very reticent to voice that though, because I know it comes at the risk of being accused of being a 'gate keeper', and it's not like I want to put people _off_ of supporting the lgbt community.


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## KimberVaile (Jun 8, 2019)

Fallowfox said:


> @Le Chat Nécro @Troj Personally I've found things like 'polyamory' and 'demiromantic' being considered under the lgbt umbrella a little difficult- especially if these exist in the context of straight people staking a claim in lgbt.
> 
> I've been very reticent to voice that though, because I know it comes at the risk of being accused of being a 'gate keeper', and it's not like I want to put people _off_ of supporting the lgbt community.



I agree. There have been some straight people that have used the terms to equate their own experiences as the same as gays who have been harassed and harangued their whole life.
Perhaps, more controversially and where we might disagree, some straight people have used the claims of being bi to get into the community while also not facing the same hate or revilement.

I am of course not saying all bis are like this by any means, or that all demiromantics or polys are like this even. Just that, there are some straight people that have used all these terms to push themselves into the community.
Sorry if it seems like I myself am gate keeping, though I do hold some similar sentiments. I just hope I don't seem like I'm being exclusionary by voicing the concerns I have.


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## Le Chat Nécro (Jun 8, 2019)

Fallowfox said:


> @Le Chat Nécro @Troj Personally I've found things like 'polyamory' and 'demiromantic' being considered under the lgbt umbrella a little difficult- especially if these exist in the context of straight people staking a claim in lgbt.
> 
> I've been very reticent to voice that though, because I know it comes at the risk of being accused of being a 'gate keeper', and it's not like I want to put people _off_ of supporting the lgbt community.


It is a delicate tight rope to walk. Tensions can be super high and no one can ever be certain how people are going to react to something that is meant in good faith (or if it is meant in good faith to begin with). 

For polyamory, I do not personally consider it part of the acronym. However, I do think there's a lot of overlap and comoribidity between the two such that it's not odd for poly people to find a home in the community. Every poly person I've met was also queer in some way or another, and some of the people who fought hardest for gay rights have been poly. Brenda Howard, Mother of Pride, was bi, poly, kinky, and a lot more. While I might not consider poly to be queer per-say, I'm not going to shun them from my spaces. 

X-romantic identities are a little harder for me. Aromantic feels very lgbt to me, because it is so far from what "normal" people experience. Like it feels very "not straight". Demiromantic.. not so much. An aromantic will not have romantic feels for anyone, same or differently gendered, so it's mutually exclusive with heteromantic. However, someone who is demiromantic can also be heteromantic since the only qualifier is when and how attraction occurs, not to whom. I'm still going to respect it as an identity, but I'm undecided on it's place under the umbrella. But again, I'm not going to shun them, and I feel like someone who is identifying as demiromantic also has a high probability of being queer in some other way. Generic straight folk don't typically feel the need to delve into "tumblr identities", as it were. 

Basically.. it's complicated! And it's not a great answer, but it's the one I've got.


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## Fallowfox (Jun 8, 2019)

KimberVaile said:


> I agree. There have been some straight people that have used the terms to equate their own experiences as the same as gays who have been harassed and harangued their whole life.
> Perhaps, more controversially and where we might disagree, some straight people have used the claims of being bi to get into the community while also not facing the same hate or revilement.
> 
> I am of course not saying all bis are like this by any means, or that all demiromantics or polys are like this even. Just that, there are some straight people that have used all these terms to push themselves into the community.
> Sorry if it seems like I myself am gate keeping, but I do tend to agree with you to an extent.



I suppose polyamorous people could claim that, just as society has historically not been accepting of same sex relationships, it has also not been accepting to people who want to voluntarily participate in relationships with more than one partner. 

This is slightly complicated for the lgbt community, which for a long time has fought to distance itself from the allegation that we are all promiscuous people with multiple partners having sex all the time (I wish), to negotiate.


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## Le Chat Nécro (Jun 8, 2019)

KimberVaile said:


> I agree. There have been some straight people that have used the terms to equate their own experiences as the same as gays who have been harassed and harangued their whole life.
> Perhaps, more controversially and where we might disagree, some straight people have used the claims of being bi to get into the community while also not facing the same hate or revilement.
> 
> I am of course not saying all bis are like this by any means, or that all demiromantics or polys are like this even. Just that, there are some straight people that have used all these terms to push themselves into the community.
> Sorry if it seems like I myself am gate keeping, though I do hold some similar sentiments. I just hope I don't seem like I'm being exclusionary by voicing the concerns I have.


The straights can be dicks, that's for damned sure. 

I will say, since this hits particularly close to home, the narrative of bi people not being oppressed enough to be in the community is shit. I get that you are talking about actually straight people who are just pretending to get into places not for them, but it's also something I hear a lot as an actual bi woman who happens to be dating a man atm. It's a fun place to be where the straights think you're just slutty or pretending or refusing to "pick a side" while gay people_ also_ think you're just slutty or pretending or refusing to "pick a side". And while I will not get any hate for walking around town holding my boyfriend's hand, I will get it in spaces that are specifically meant to be for people like me because somehow being with a guy means I'm not still crushing on every pretty girl I see. 

Small tangent, but it's important to me. Sorry.


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## Fallowfox (Jun 8, 2019)

I suppose the whole discussion rather shows thought that lgbt pride is a vehicle a lot of people, even those not necessarily lesbian, gay, bi or trans, view as attractive and fun
and that's nice. :]


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## KimberVaile (Jun 8, 2019)

Le Chat Nécro said:


> The straights can be dicks, that's for damned sure.
> 
> I will say, since this hits particularly close to home, the narrative of bi people not being oppressed enough to be in the community is shit. I get that you are talking about actually straight people who are just pretending to get into places not for them, but it's also something I hear a lot as an actual bi woman who happens to be dating a man atm. It's a fun place to be where the straights think you're just slutty or pretending or refusing to "pick a side" while gay people_ also_ think you're just slutty or pretending or refusing to "pick a side". And while I will not get any hate for walking around town holding my boyfriend's hand, I will get it in spaces that are specifically meant to be for people like me because somehow being with a guy means I'm not still crushing on every pretty girl I see.
> 
> Small tangent, but it's important to me. Sorry.



It's fine, I was mostly referring to straight guys wanting to slip into the community cause it's hip or cool. If you're a bi in a straight passing relationship, I think that's fine. I can trust people are being forthcoming when they say they are bi, though on occasion, some were just straights that were lying so they can be 'hip' or what have you. I'm not okay with that. Regardless, don't think you have to pick  side really, I don't see the need to gatekeep over how oppressed you are.
Though it does stand as my strongest connection to the community, shared oppression; I'd like to think there are more than just one motivation as to why you might be drawn to the community. I think that's fine.


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## Bink (Jun 8, 2019)

KimberVaile said:


> I'm sorry about that Bink. For my part, I've always felt part of pride month is finding communion with your fellow gays, who've had similarly suffered or struggled under narrow minded societal norms.  Sometimes we end up finding pushback from the people closest to us. Awful thing, but I hope it might help some to know others have struggled in much the same way, and that it gets better in time.
> 
> Sorry if, that wasn't all too helpful. I'm not the best motivational speaker, but I try.





Le Chat Nécro said:


> I'm really sorry that happened. It's a really unfortunate part of life that no matter how much we love ourselves, there will always be someone who does, or who just can't understand. Do what you need to do to feel proud of yourself, it doesn't have to be a bright and shining parade, and keep yourself safe. I hope your dad will come around, but at the very least know that there are a whole bunch of people in the world who already understand and who will love the shit out of you as you are.



Thanks for the words both of you. I think it'll work out in the end.. I hope anyways.. I'm just kinda in shock that he could even think that saying that to me is an acceptable response. Stepmom is a little less freaked out, so I'm hopeful she'll be able to help him sort through his issues..

Sucks to have people close to you turn on you, but on the other hand its very encouraging to have the people who really care there to support you, which is how my friends and mom have been so far, I could have it worse off for sure.


On a side note, I was _very _surprised to hear that some people in the LGBT community kinda rag on bisexuals for being "sluts" or "on the fence"... I would expect better than such hypocrisy from people who cry when others try to say that gay can be changed...


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## MaetheDragon (Jun 8, 2019)

Well, if my input helps, I’d like to confess, right now that I am Heteroromantic. I’d rather be in a relationship with a cis man, I will fully admit this. You can judge whether or not I’m LGBT+ or not because of this, but I only know one thing for sure- I’m not trying to shoehorn myself into the community! I always felt that something was wrong with me sexually- that I don’t react to things or feel pleasure from things I normally should be. I put time and research into this, and decided that Demisexuality was a perfect description for me. If you don’t count it as LGBT+, then at least acknowledge that there are straight people out there using it as a badge of support, rather than doing for the sake of looking cool.

I might be mistaking the sentiment towards Demisexuality with the sentiment expressed for Demiromanticism, but I hope my input helped.



Fallowfox said:


> I suppose the whole discussion rather shows thought that lgbt pride is a vehicle a lot of people, even those not necessarily lesbian, gay, bi or trans, view as attractive and fun
> and that's nice. :]





KimberVaile said:


> It's fine, I was mostly referring to straight guys wanting to slip into the community cause it's hip or cool. If you're a bi in a straight passing relationship, I think that's fine. I can trust people are being forthcoming when they say they are bi, though on occasion, some were just straights that were lying so they can be 'hip' or what have you. I'm not okay with that. Regardless, don't think you have to pick  side really, I don't see the need to gatekeep over how oppressed you are.
> Though it does stand as my strongest connection to the community; I'd like to think there are more than just one motivation as to why you might be drawn to the community. I think that's fine.


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## Simo (Jun 8, 2019)

Here's an odd thing: Sometimes, I kind of wish I was bi, so I had more choices in everything. I mean, you get a lot more to choose from, that way, from dating, to RP, to just noting others, to porn.  

In fact, just the other day I was bemoaning the lack of gay skunk porn, on FA: took three or so pages to find a gay image, under new sunk entries! Oh, the various and small injustices of it all. 

But alas, there's just nothing stirring down there or romantically, sexually, when it comes to females: I did 'try' as a teen, as I thought, too it was more 'cool' to be bi than gay, but just didn't work.


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## KimberVaile (Jun 8, 2019)

Simo said:


> Here's an odd thing: Sometimes, I kind of wish I was bi, so I had more choices in everything. I mean, you get a lot more to choose from, that way, from dating, to RP, to just noting others, to porn.
> 
> In fact, just the other day I was bemoaning the lack of gay skunk porn, on FA: took three or so pages to find a gay image, under new sunk entries! Oh, the various and small injustices of it all.
> 
> But alas, there's just nothing stirring down there or romantically, sexually, when it comes to females: I did 'try' as a teen, as I thought, too it was more 'cool' to be bi than gay, but just didn't work.



Foxes are a little privileged in the gay furry art department (We're sexy beasts after all!).  You have my sympathies though, on the the plus side, fellow gays tend to be able to have more shared experiences, if that helps at all! Always best to have a glass half full approach, methinks.


----------



## quoting_mungo (Jun 8, 2019)

Troj said:


> Actually, I have a question!
> 
> Could someone explain demiromanticism to me, and why it falls under the LGBTQ umbrella?
> 
> ...


I don't know if I can explain demiromanticism as such, but I can absolutely try. Caveat that this is from my own experiences bla bla bla. (I kind of waver on where I sit on the romanticism spectrum, but I'm probably at least somewhere close to demiromantic.) Demisexuality is a closer "opposite" to nymphomania than demiromanticism, IMO. 
The best way to explain aromanticism is probably that it's the emotional equivalent of asexuality. It fitting under the QUILTBAG umbrella would be because it's on the gray-ace spectrum.

So, using myself as an example:
I have an active libido. I absolutely enjoy sex, and don't consider sex and love related - by no stretch am I demisexual. While I prefer sleeping with friends, I have had hookups in the past, and have no problem with, say, sleeping with friends of friends. Just mentioning this to establish a baseline on the interest-in-sex axle.

I never had much in the way of crushes or in-love experiences growing up - I'd tell myself I had a crush on this or that boy (ikkle mungo was a bit daft and had no idea there was such a thing as homosexuality, much less bisexuality) because I felt like it was expected of me. It was more a matter of "that boy is nice" than sincere romantic attraction. I literally remember making conscious decisions/choices regarding whom I was going to be "crushing" on, and on some level probably assumed that was how everyone did it.

Looking for someone to date is completely alien to me. I can't wrap my head around how dating sites can facilitate anything more than finding people to form friendships with. Like, obviously people do dating sites with an eye towards finding their life partners or whatever, or speed date, etc, but to me it's like putting your shoes on before your socks. I have literally been in love or crushed on someone all of... I think six times in my life, and one of those was in fairness probably more a case of "in lust". (I've formed other kinds of attachments to more people, but those were more akin to exaggerated reciprocal kindness.) With the exception of one of these, I knew them and grew close to them for a long-ass time before falling in love/crushing, and that one exception was so startling to me that it took me upwards of a year to stop freaking out about it. I just don't develop romantic feelings for people before they're approaching "best friend" levels of closeness. 

Judging by the observations I've made of friends, that doesn't seem typical. At all. Friendzoning being a "thing" makes about as much sense to me as refusing to sleep in your damn bed because you put fresh sheets on. Dating to see if you're compatible as people (not as romantic partners, but actually dating to get to know someone) seems backwards as hell. I just don't _get it_. You might as well ask me to critique a painting done entirely in ultraviolet without any blacklight or other gadgets to shift it into the visible spectrum.



Fallowfox said:


> @Le Chat Nécro @Troj Personally I've found things like 'polyamory' and 'demiromantic' being considered under the lgbt umbrella a little difficult- especially if these exist in the context of straight people staking a claim in lgbt.
> 
> I've been very reticent to voice that though, because I know it comes at the risk of being accused of being a 'gate keeper', and it's not like I want to put people _off_ of supporting the lgbt community.


Note that _most_ demiromantic people are likely to also be ace or demisexual. And I realize that probably sounds utterly daft coming from me, after what I said above, but so it goes. Honestly never seen any other examples of allosexual demiromantics (and I'm still a bit wibbly on whether I'm demiromantic or just hovering somewhere close to it). 

Polyamory fitting under the umbrella to me has a few arguments in favor:
- the shit directed at poly people is practically the same as the shit bi people get; "you're just greedy/a slut," "you can't/need to make up your mind" etc
- I know there are some people who choose polyamory, but I sure as hell didn't make any kind of choice. I'm poly by nature and monogamy makes me miserable in the long run. I don't fall in love very readily, but when I do it takes a _lot_ to make that fade, and falling in love with someone else sure as hell ain't it.
- You can't really have a circular triad (probably not the right term, but I can't think of a better one - a relationship of three people where everyone is dating everyone) containing more than one straight person. To me this kind of negates the notion of straight people "shouldering in." 

In general, though, I don't think there's much point to policing others' identities. If someone feels like they fit into the QUILTBAG community, I'm going to assume they probably know themselves better than I do.


----------



## Fallowfox (Jun 8, 2019)

At six crushes you've actually had more than I have. I've not experienced romantic obsession. 

I always just viewed crushes as a very americanised ideation of what it was to fall in love? That it would all be simple and that infatuation would be found at first sight, rather than something that would grow over time- and be imperfect and something of a compromise.


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## Misha Bordiga Zahradník (Jun 8, 2019)

www.google.com: Milo Yiannopoulos named marshal for 'Straight Pride' parade

"Straight Pride"


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## Marcl (Jun 8, 2019)

Le Chat Nécro said:


> From what I can gather, to understand demiromanticism you need to break up romantic attraction into to parts- primary attraction (think like a crush) and secondary attraction (a deeper, more commonly thought of attraction). People who are not demiro can develop a romantic crush on someone before knowing them that well or having much of connection. I think of it like my middle school days when even a small smile from the new kid in class would send my heart into a flutter despite us never having spoken 3 words to each other. But no, we would certainly get married and live happily ever after cause ~Love~. Demiromantics, on the other hand, won't (or are unlikely) to crush before forming more of a bond and relationship with someone.





quoting_mungo said:


> I never had much in the way of crushes or in-love experiences growing up - I'd tell myself I had a crush on this or that boy (ikkle mungo was a bit daft and had no idea there was such a thing as homosexuality, much less bisexuality) because I felt like it was expected of me. It was more a matter of "that boy is nice" than sincere romantic attraction. I literally remember making conscious decisions/choices regarding whom I was going to be "crushing" on, and on some level probably assumed that was how everyone did it.



Those are actually really good explanations.

For most people division between sexual and romantic orientation isn't really needed, because it seems these two are in synch for most of population. It doesn't mean it has to. I'm demi myself and while for the most part consider myself btroh demiromantic and demisexual, it seems I feel the first attraction sooner than the other. I know someone who's asexual demiromantic, which for them this identity is very important.



Bink said:


> I'm not big into being the loud and proud type, but I'm also not content to feel like I'm in the shadows or being avoidant about who I am... using this month to motivate me to conquer those fears and obstacles.. not working out the best so far...
> 
> Came out to my dad the other day.. he proceeded to convey his disbelief by saying that I should get a psych eval... and that maybe I'm just confused and desperate; as if that being gay/bi is the easier alternative than trying to meet a woman..
> 
> Like.. what the actual fuck...



Dang, that really sucks. Well, don't give up, the month is still young. Plus you already started, the fact the Pride month will be over doesn't mean you made the first steps. Then why not to make next ones? Just at your own pace.

***

On the topic of the Pride Month and Parades. In Poland the term used for them is _Parada Równości_, which translates to _Equaility/Equity_ _Parade_. Interestingly the last year they decided to extend the meaning beyond just LGBT+ and included people excluded in some way, like it was also a march for rights of kids suffering from severe disorders and needs funds they were refused.


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## quoting_mungo (Jun 9, 2019)

Fallowfox said:


> At six crushes you've actually had more than I have. I've not experienced romantic obsession.
> 
> I always just viewed crushes as a very americanised ideation of what it was to fall in love? That it would all be simple and that infatuation would be found at first sight, rather than something that would grow over time- and be imperfect and something of a compromise.


Not six crushes. Six people total I've fallen in love with _or_ crushed on. Given that I'm still in love with three or four of them (one I'm not sure whether to call love or a crush, but it's lasted since we were both in Jr High, so 20+ years at this point - that's maybe not so much a crush IDFK), and one of the remaining people is my ex who managed to thoroughly fuck up dumping me as well as subsequent contact quite ridiculously, it's... a thing. The last person admittedly probably was more of an "in lust" thing with a side of "she's nice, maybe I'll have a crush on her."


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## Le Chat Nécro (Jun 9, 2019)

Bink said:


> On a side note, I was _very _surprised to hear that some people in the LGBT community kinda rag on bisexuals for being "sluts" or "on the fence"... I would expect better than such hypocrisy from people who cry when others try to say that gay can be changed...


Unfortunately, it will always be true that it's easier to punch down than punch up. Instead of coming together for a common cause, there will always be some who will find someone to bully themselves. It's not a community wide thing, but there are definitely pockets, and it's fueled by this idea that bi's are less oppressed, less than l's and g's, playing into oppression by being in "het relationships", and that it's actually not possible to truly love multiple genders. Any monosexual person (yeah I just made that word up) can have difficultly understanding multisexual people, just like straights can have difficulty understand gays, and sexual people misunderstanding asexuality.

Gay pride and advocacy actually has a bit of a history of exclusion. Despite the extremely varied identities of those at Stonewall and other early pride events, the movement became very focused on just gay men (primarily white too) cause that was an easier battle to fight. Then lesbians fought to get included. Then bi's. Now we are still having discussions about trans and aces even though they're at least in the acronym. Inclusion doesn't typically start as inclusive as it needs to be, and when you have this many identities it can be easy to fall into the fallacy that there's only so much advocacy to go around. If we're campaigning for trans rights, then aren't lesbians getting shafted? No. No they are not, but it can feel that way and it causes tensions. 

Basically all groups have their issues and we're still working out ours.



MCtheBeardie said:


> Well, if my input helps, I’d like to confess, right now that I am Heteroromantic. I’d rather be in a relationship with a cis man, I will fully admit this. You can judge whether or not I’m LGBT+ or not because of this, but I only know one thing for sure- I’m not trying to shoehorn myself into the community! I always felt that something was wrong with me sexually- that I don’t react to things or feel pleasure from things I normally should be. I put time and research into this, and decided that Demisexuality was a perfect description for me. If you don’t count it as LGBT+, then at least acknowledge that there are straight people out there using it as a badge of support, rather than doing for the sake of looking cool.
> 
> I might be mistaking the sentiment towards Demisexuality with the sentiment expressed for Demiromanticism, but I hope my input helped.


I'm sorry if any of my comments felt exclusionary towards you and your experiences. As stated in my posts... I personally can be undecided on some things but I'm not going to let my personal, uninformed, undecided thoughts police the broader community. That would be incredibly dickish and self important of me. 

And while I'm bisexual and biromantic, I do lean more heteroromantic. I form romantic feelings for men way easier than I do with women. Conversely, I experience sexual attraction to women a lot easier than I do to men. There's a discussion to be had about socialization and it's affects on sexuality here, but for now I just wanted to share that because this shit is complicated. Even just saying "I am this" usually isn't the full story. I am bi, but I have a lot of preferences and quirks and shit tied up into that. Just like you might be het/demi, but that's likely not the long and the short of it either. I think it's important to always consider the broad range of experiences one has and not be so quick to write someone off from the community because at surface level they don't seem queer enough. 

You are valid.


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## Le Chat Nécro (Jun 9, 2019)

Misha Bordiga Zahradník said:


> www.google.com: Milo Yiannopoulos named marshal for 'Straight Pride' parade
> 
> "Straight Pride"


So I let discussions of Straight Pride go earlier in the thread since it had basically ran it's course by the time I saw it. However, I would like to make it clear now that this is not an appropriate place for that. If you would like to talk about Straight Pride (and ho boy is there a lot to talk about), I encourage you to make your own thread. It could be really interesting. 

But I do not want that discussion here. This was made as an informative and, more importantly, *~*positive*~* thread for lgbtqia+. Straight Pride...well, it feels like the antithesis to that, even if we try to frame it as "haha, look at the dumb straights".


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## Infrarednexus (Jun 9, 2019)

My boyfriend is Asexual but I'm not but I have grown to appreciate and love him for it since it's just a part of who he is. Our love for each other is stronger than ever once I realized I don't need sex in a relationship to be %100 happy with someone. 

I encourage him to be proud of this part of him now and I do my best to make sure others understand Asexuality and how you can still have a long and intimate relationship with someone who is Asexual even if you yourself aren't.


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## Cendrag Roseheart (Jun 9, 2019)

Same with my bf, he's gay while I'm bi, but we both love eachother equally!


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## Keefur (Jun 9, 2019)

I arranged for Fangcon to participate in a pride parade a few years ago.   There was a bunch of us Furries riding in our "float" while in Fursuit.  We actually had two vehicles.  It was a lot of fun.  My friend Draconis actually walked the route while in fursuit.

Ok... bad joke time, but appropriate in an oblique way since it is pride month.  

Did you hear about the cannibal lion?  He swallowed his pride.


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## Tendo64 (Jun 9, 2019)

Ah, hello. Is it alright if an ally joins the discussion? Because if it's okay, I'd like to ask for some advice.


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## Simo (Jun 9, 2019)

KimberVaile said:


> Foxes are a little privileged in the gay furry art department (We're sexy beasts after all!).  You have my sympathies though, on the the plus side, fellow gays tend to be able to have more shared experiences, if that helps at all! Always best to have a glass half full approach, methinks.



Yes, foxes are lucky in that regard, but so are the skunks who seek them out. "The tail of the fox is easily lifted", as the saying goes

And there is that aspect of shared experiences; I suppose, in some rather silly way, though, I feel almost 'plain' just being gay. I mean, I suppose that while gay, I am also many other things that are tangential and integral to being gay that set me apart, it's just that they don't all have names, and such.



Keefur said:


> I arranged for Fangcon to participate in a pride parade a few years ago.   There was a bunch of us Furries riding in our "float" while in Fursuit.  We actually had two vehicles.  It was a lot of fun.  My friend Draconis actually walked the route while in fursuit.
> 
> Ok... bad joke time, but appropriate in an oblique way since it is pride month.
> 
> Did you hear about the cannibal lion?  He swallowed his pride.



Ah, Pride is next week here in Baltimore, and I have finally had some luck, in talking to a few furs in Maryland, and who are trying to get some fursuiters in the parade..or, if not, at least have a small meet. So that'd be fun. The only time I have seen fursuiters is at cons; I have never been to a smaller meet, and one at Pride seems logical. (I may have also found a ride, to some other smaller meets in the state, is a bit up in air, but we shall see...)

In any event, I think fursuiters in a parade would be a ton of fun! They just planned to walk, also, it helps give a bit more color and whimsicality, and something fun for parents who have brought kids. I mean, you always hear griping about kids seeing scantily clad men, and what not...so here, they get to see big, cute fuzzy animals, that give hugs. It's a win-win, really


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## quoting_mungo (Jun 9, 2019)

Simo said:


> Ah, Pride is next week here, and I have finally had some luck, in talking to a few furs in Maryland, and who are trying to get some fursuiters in the parade..or, if not, at least have a small meet. So that'd be fun. The only time I have seen fursuiters is at cons; I have never been to a smaller meet, and one at Pride seems logical. (I may have also found a ride, to some other smaller meets in the state, is a bit up in air, but we shall see...)
> 
> In any event, I think fursuiters in a parade would be a ton of fun! They just planned to walk, also, it helps give a bit more color and whimsicality, and something fun for parents who have brought kids. I mean, you always hear griping about kids seeing scantily clad men, and what not...so here, they get to see big, cute fuzzy animals, that give hugs. It's a win-win, really


Great to hear you may have a ride lined up!

There were I think 2-3 fursuits (plus one guy in like street clothes and a pup mask with the same group) in the frankly embarrassingly tiny Pride parade boyfriend and I went to see a few weeks back. He went to make friends and I went to hide in a coffee shop because new people are scary. XD


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## KimberVaile (Jun 9, 2019)

Simo said:


> Yes, foxes are lucky in that regard, but so are the skunks who seek them out. "The tail of the fox is easily lifted", as the saying goes
> 
> And there is that aspect of shared experiences; I suppose, in some rather silly way, though, I feel almost 'plain' just being gay. I mean, I suppose that while gay, I am also many other things that are tangential and integral to being gay that set me apart, it's just that they don't all have names, and such.
> 
> ...



Of course! We're very prone to this shenanigans. X)

And I wouldn't say it's plain at all! I mean, I think we tend to have the best ideas about having fun in terms of less sfw things, and I've also found there are lot of common deeper points, about the sort of treatment we've been given too.
As well, some similar mannerisms I find. I've always found it very fun to talk to other gays about those things. I guess your mileage does vary, but I've met alot of different gays who have very unique perspectives. Of course I guess I'm a little biased, I can on occasion be very fruity irl.


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## Simo (Jun 9, 2019)

quoting_mungo said:


> Great to hear you may have a ride lined up!
> 
> There were I think 2-3 fursuits (plus one guy in like street clothes and a pup mask with the same group) in the frankly embarrassingly tiny Pride parade boyfriend and I went to see a few weeks back. He went to make friends and I went to hide in a coffee shop because new people are scary. XD



Thanks! Aw, ya don't have to hide!

Pride happens very close to where I live; in fact, to avoid it, I'd pretty much have to stay inside all weekend, or leave the neighborhood  Actually, gentrification has pushed it a bit father north than it used to be, but the parade is blocks away, and events are scattered about the area. So while I may not spend a ton of time at Pride each year, I generally walk around some, and I'm always more cheerful. One thing about Pride here is how diverse it is in terms of ethnicity: there's few festivals, where I've seen such a diversity of people, from around the world, and for all the problems of segregation Baltimore has suffered in the past, and even now, they seem to dissolve at this event.  As such, it's always struck me as a display of unity, beyond just sexuality.




KimberVaile said:


> Of course! We're very prone to this shenanigans. X)
> 
> And I wouldn't say it's plain at all! I mean, I think we tend to have the best ideas about having fun in terms of less sfw things, and I've also found there are lot of common deeper points, about the sort of treatment we've been given too.
> As well, some similar mannerisms I find. I've always found it very fun to talk to other gays about those things. I guess your mileage does vary, but I've met alot of different gays who have very unique perspectives. Of course I guess I'm a little biased, I can on occasion be very fruity irl.



Indeed  I have tricked, and been tricked, by many a fox!

And I think you're right about having some pretty unique perspectives: for me, especially gay men who have grown up in small towns, the country, and places where it can be a bit harder...but also, those who grew up in cities. There's often a sharp, even biting sense of humor, but coupled with a certain empathic sense. Oh...and level of fruitiness, to be sure. I mean, even one of my fursona's trademarks is a love of watermelon 



Tendo64 said:


> Ah, hello. Is it alright if an ally joins the discussion? Because if it's okay, I'd like to ask for some advice.



Oh, and most certainly! Ask away!


----------



## Tazmo (Jun 9, 2019)

Going to try to make it to a pride parade this weekend .  kinda was awkward asking my boss if I could leave early that day to attend it.

Saw Fursuiters at one last year.......I was to shy for a hug....maybe this time...


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## FluffyShutterbug (Jun 9, 2019)

I'm having a really rough day... Do you guys think that LGBT rights are in trouble in the US? 
I hate to be a wet blanket, but I'm feeling really upset right now...


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## Tendo64 (Jun 10, 2019)

Simo said:


> Oh, and most certainly! Ask away!


Alright.

So, I'm an ally, as I said, so that implies that I'm straight, right? But that's the thing. I don't know if it means that, because it's... kinda complicated. I'm really, really questioning my sexuality, and it's confusing the heck out of me. I don't know what to call myself.

In nearly every situation, I'm attracted to guys. I'm pretty confident in saying that, at least, so no, I'm not lesbian. But I don't really know if I'm straight, either, but I'm also not really full-on bisexual. Thing is, I have legitimately been attracted to a girl before, had some... kinda questionable dreams about her that I'm not going to describe. And then there's the fact I sometimes find female characters in fiction attractive. And I have a friend that I'm starting to question my feelings on also.

However, this happens REALLY rarely. Like, these are outliers, and I don't know if the fictional character thing counts. It still begs the question though, what should I call myself? I've been calling myself heteroflexible for a little while, but I don't know if that's right. Am I bicurious? Am I just straight? I don't really know, and it's kinda driving me nuts that I can't figure anything out.


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## Simo (Jun 10, 2019)

Tendo64 said:


> Alright.
> 
> So, I'm an ally, as I said, so that implies that I'm straight, right? But that's the thing. I don't know if it means that, because it's... kinda complicated. I'm really, really questioning my sexuality, and it's confusing the heck out of me. I don't know what to call myself.
> 
> ...



Hi Tendo-

I know it can all seem to seem pretty confusing, trying to figure out who you 'are', but I'd say it's pretty normal. And, it's also very normal to have this or that attraction or crush on the same sex, even if you consider yourself straight, or, for things to change over time. Hopefully it's of some comfort, but I wouldn't worry about labels too much; I think, often, people get a bit too caught up in these, and wanting a term to neatly describe who they are. But you're you, and nobody else, and that's just fine. Heteroflexible, bicurious, straight: you might use all these, depending on the situation, and what seems most comfortable, at the time. And to go on questioning is something many people do for a very long time...the good thing is that it isn't a test, and there's no right or wrong answers 

Hope this helped some,

~Simo


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## Deleted member 82554 (Jun 10, 2019)

I'm none of those letters, I'm just me.


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## FluffyShutterbug (Jun 10, 2019)

So, nothing about my anxiety about the future of the community? :/


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## Tazmo (Jun 10, 2019)

FluffyShutterbug said:


> So, nothing about my anxiety about the future of the community? :/


Be happy, dont worry.


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## ZeroVoidTime (Jun 10, 2019)

FluffyShutterbug said:


> So, nothing about my anxiety about the future of the community? :/


Well there is a reason why I deleted my previous post as I did not want start drama with an inflammatory post. (For that matter I am thankful there is a delete option on this board along with an edit button.)


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## FluffyShutterbug (Jun 10, 2019)

ZeroVoidTime said:


> Well there is a reason why I deleted my previous post as I did not want start drama with an inflammatory post.


Inflammatory? Huh?


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## ZeroVoidTime (Jun 10, 2019)

FluffyShutterbug said:


> Inflammatory? Huh?


Oh I over reacted to what you posted and *IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT IT IS MY FAULT FOR THINKING WITH MY EMOTIONS INSTEAD OF BEING THE VOICE REASON.* (Truth is I feel the same way when it comes to QUILTBAG rights in the United States and me making a inflammatory post is not going to make things better for myself or others.)


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## FluffyShutterbug (Jun 10, 2019)

ZeroVoidTime said:


> Oh I over reacted to what you posted and *IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT IT IS MY FAULT FOR THINKING WITH MY EMOTIONS INSTEAD OF BEING THE VOICE REASON.* (Truth is I feel the same way when it comes to QUILTBAG rights in the United States and me making a inflammatory post is not going to make things better for myself or others.)


What part did you overreact to? :/


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## ZeroVoidTime (Jun 10, 2019)

FluffyShutterbug said:


> What part did you overreact to? :/


The part about worrying about the United States reverting advances in QUILTBAG rights.


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## FluffyShutterbug (Jun 10, 2019)

ZeroVoidTime said:


> The part about worrying about the United States reverting advances in QUILTBAG rights.


Ok, so, you thought that I was overreacting? Or....?
(I'm just trying to figure out what the hell happened... XD )


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## ZeroVoidTime (Jun 10, 2019)

FluffyShutterbug said:


> Ok, so, you thought that I was overreacting? Or....?
> (I'm just trying to figure out what the hell happened... XD )


No it was me overacting to this post :


FluffyShutterbug said:


> I'm having a really rough day... Do you guys think that LGBT rights are in trouble in the US?
> I hate to be a wet blanket, but I'm feeling really upset right now...


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## FluffyShutterbug (Jun 10, 2019)

ZeroVoidTime said:


> No it was me overacting to this post :


Okay, so why did that set you off? :/


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## ZeroVoidTime (Jun 10, 2019)

FluffyShutterbug said:


> Okay, so why did that set you off? :/


Very complex reasons and I am getting more hesitant to speak because I am getting severe brain drain. (I know that is a poor excuse but I am better at explaining when I am well rested.)


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## FluffyShutterbug (Jun 10, 2019)

ZeroVoidTime said:


> Very complex reasons and I am getting more hesitant to speak because I am getting severe brain drain. (I know that is a poor excuse but I am better at explaining when I am well rested.)


Ok...
And, I'm not mad. I'm just confused.


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## Tendo64 (Jun 10, 2019)

Simo said:


> Hi Tendo-
> 
> I know it can all seem to seem pretty confusing, trying to figure out who you 'are', but I'd say it's pretty normal. And, it's also very normal to have this or that attraction or crush on the same sex, even if you consider yourself straight, or, for things to change over time. Hopefully it's of some comfort, but I wouldn't worry about labels too much; I think, often, people get a bit too caught up in these, and wanting a term to neatly describe who they are. But you're you, and nobody else, and that's just fine. Heteroflexible, bicurious, straight: you might use all these, depending on the situation, and what seems most comfortable, at the time. And to go on questioning is something many people do for a very long time...the good thing is that it isn't a test, and there's no right or wrong answers
> 
> ...


Okay then, I guess I'm gonna stick with heteroflexible for now. Thanks for the advice!


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## Le Chat Nécro (Jun 10, 2019)

Tendo64 said:


> Ah, hello. Is it alright if an ally joins the discussion? Because if it's okay, I'd like to ask for some advice.


Of course! As I told Misha, you're more than welcome.



FluffyShutterbug said:


> I'm having a really rough day... Do you guys think that LGBT rights are in trouble in the US?
> I hate to be a wet blanket, but I'm feeling really upset right now...


First, I'm sorry I wasn't on earlier to reply. I hope you didn't end up feeling too ignored. 

To be perfectly honest, I'm afraid but I'm not sure how justified that fear is. On the one hand, things are looking scary for us. I just saw an article about what happened at Detroit Pride and that's terrifying even without all the other stuff. But there's also the innate need to reassure and down play and think "surely the worst won't happen"

Pride did not start as a party. It was a fight. And we're going to have to keep fighting, perhaps more literally than anyone would like. It's okay to be scared. It's okay to feel unsure. But keep in mind that this is nothing we haven't seen before and we know we have it in us to make change. It is our legacy. 

We all got to do what we can for each other.


Tendo64 said:


> Alright.
> 
> So, I'm an ally, as I said, so that implies that I'm straight, right? But that's the thing. I don't know if it means that, because it's... kinda complicated. I'm really, really questioning my sexuality, and it's confusing the heck out of me. I don't know what to call myself.
> 
> ...


Okay, I know you've probably heard this before, but you are sixteen. No one had their shit figured out sixteen. Heck, there are still people figuring it out at 76. 

Sexuality can be fluid and complicated. Don't try to force yourself into a label because you think you need one. There might not be one that fits you perfectly. The important thing is figuring out what feels best to you. If that's het, awesome. If that's bi, welcome to the club. If it's something else entirely, more power to you. And if you change labels later in life, that's perfectly acceptable.


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## Le Chat Nécro (Jun 10, 2019)

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		https://did%3D3e1710a9cb475d7dab16e0c09662fe2685d26fdf%3Bid%3D154224351190%3Bkey%3De2sJD8eyC-YRfD3C2Oluiw%3Bname%3Dmillennium-fae-artblog


Since Nexus mentioned having an ace partner.


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## Le Chat Nécro (Jun 10, 2019)

More Tumblr cause these fuckers are more eloquent than I am 



Spoiler





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		https://did%3Dc402d09af58d160d3d267c387f4c89437a4fc69d%3Bid%3D185498324609%3Bkey%3D5e91Y-n_wRTqiWT1WVm5Gg%3Bname%3Dfandomsandfeminism


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## Freia the arctic fox (Jun 11, 2019)

Happy Pride everyone. It is truly amazing to have from the very beginning been so accepting towards LGBT people. I know I'm usually the master of criticizing the fandom but the LGBT acceptance is probably one of the best things about this fandom. I know that many transsexuals find comfort in this fandom since it is a fandom that allows you to be someone else, the person you want to be. I myself am bisexual and I was bullied in middle school because I was in a relationship with a girl. In fandoms I have always found acceptance and have been allowed to be proud of who I am. Now It sounds like I'm giving a damn speech, guess I'm getting a bit sentimental. Anyways, I'm glad this is such an accepting fandom, It's a colorful fandom that attracts people of all sexual orientations, our fandom is super gay and it's absolutely nothing wrong with that.


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## BackPaw (Jun 11, 2019)

I'm a big old G to the core.  Happy Pride everyone


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## FluffyShutterbug (Jun 11, 2019)

BackPaw said:


> I'm a big old G to the core.  Happy Pride everyone


Hehe, I've actually drifted pretty far to the G myself. When I first came out as LGBT in 2014, I thought that I was more or less a 50-50 bisexual, but I've realized over the last 5 years that I only tend to like girls in only a few, specific circumstances, and most of the time prefer men. Heh heh... >w<


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## Tendo64 (Jun 12, 2019)

Rusty_Raccoon said:


> gay people are gay


Oh my gosh, really? I can't believe it, I never knew that!


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## Tendo64 (Jun 12, 2019)

Rusty_Raccoon said:


> Surprising, isn't it?


It sure is!


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## BackPaw (Jun 12, 2019)

Rusty_Raccoon said:


> gay people are gay


Yes.  And bi people are bi, straight people are straight

and 

Ace people are ace 

Life’s pretty amazing really


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## Freia the arctic fox (Jun 12, 2019)

FluffyShutterbug said:


> Hehe, I've actually drifted pretty far to the G myself. When I first came out as LGBT in 2014, I thought that I was more or less a 50-50 bisexual, but I've realized over the last 5 years that I only tend to like girls in only a few, specific circumstances, and most of the time prefer men. Heh heh... >w<


I didn't know what homosexuality was when I was a child. From kids movies and stuff we learn that the princess finds her prince "one man one woman". For me it took some time to find out that I was into girls as well as guys but I was happy when I found out. I can't help that girls are so cute UwU. I can see why LGBT is not that well represented in movies and stuff I guess its mainly due to the fact that most people are straight and also because especially companies like Disney are a bit conservative.


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## dragon-in-sight (Jun 12, 2019)

I considder myself to be Bisexuel with preference to males. I also don't have a need for romantic relationships and rather prefere a circle of close friends. I don't give a fuck about gender archetypes and roles. I'm just me. Where does this put me at the LGBT scale?


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## MalletFace (Jun 12, 2019)

I truly hope everyone here is safe and happy, and that everyone is finding their way to a more complete and honest version of themselves so that they can work towards being better in all things each and every day.

Its been three years this morning since the Pulse shooting, and its important to remember on days like today to be strong so that you might raise yourself and those around you.


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## Le Chat Nécro (Jun 12, 2019)

dragon-in-sight said:


> I considder myself to be Bisexuel with preference to males. I also don't have a need for romantic relationships and rather prefere a circle of close friends. I don't give a fuck about gender archetypes and roles. I'm just me. What does this put me at the LGBT scale?
> 
> View attachment 63814


Is that the Star of Chaos from 40k? 
Sweet. 



Rusty_Raccoon said:


> Being gay has felt kind on conflicting for me lately, cause on one hand I do like it, kind of feels special, considering it's been, and still is a touchy subject, I do feel kind of proud in a way, though saying that I can't help but feel egotistical.
> 
> But it does still feel kind of stigmatized, afraid to really tell any friends or family about it cause it feels embarrassing to do so, I both like it and hate it.


It definitely can be a lot of things. It's unique but it's not. It's accepted but still stigmatized. It's something to be proud of but also just.. a thing that you are no big deal. 

I hope that at the very least your experiences have been mostly positive.


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## KD142000 (Jun 12, 2019)

Happy Pride Month, all!
Surprised I never posted in here, before this point!

Ah, I'm a gay-leaning bisexual wolf and it's lovely to meet you all 

Right now, I'm keeping my sexuality a secret from my family (although there is one person who does know about me and will hopefully keep that secret).
But yeah, I only ever mention women whenever I talk about love. I still have no idea whether I'll actually 'come out', as it were...but hey, I'm welcome amongst you, so that's a great thing!

*hugs for everyone who's here and everyone who isn't!*


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## FluffyShutterbug (Jun 12, 2019)

KD142000 said:


> Happy Pride Month, all!
> Surprised I never posted in here, before this point!
> 
> Ah, I'm a gay-leaning bisexual wolf and it's lovely to meet you all
> ...


Hehee, nice to meet another gay-leaning bisexual. ^w^


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## Guifrog (Jun 14, 2019)

So the Supreme Court here decided for the criminalization of homophobia and transphobia. Just addin' some sauce


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## FluffyShutterbug (Jun 14, 2019)

Guifrog said:


> So the Supreme Court here decided for the criminalization of homophobia and transphobia. Just addin' some sauce


Brazil, right?


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## Guifrog (Jun 14, 2019)

FluffyShutterbug said:


> Brazil, right?


Yep. It happened yesterday. I wasn't much optimistic and the judgement's day would be postponed again, but tada!

I mean. According to the decision, churches are still allowed to make their speech against QUILTBAG and the whole thing happened because the Parliament would not carry on previous proposals made 18 years ago. So the Supreme Court intervened, in a workaround that made it now a crime comparable to racism. Better late than never, heh ;p


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## Le Chat Nécro (Jun 14, 2019)

Guifrog said:


> Yep. It happened yesterday. I wasn't much optimistic and the judgement's day would be postponed again, but tada!
> 
> I mean. According to the decision, churches are still allowed to make their speech against QUILTBAG and the whole thing happened because the Parliament would not carry on previous proposals made 18 years ago. So the Supreme Court intervened, in a workaround that made it now a crime comparable to racism. Better late than never, heh ;p


Small victories.


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## Simo (Jun 14, 2019)

This weekend MLP FiM is airing an episode featuring a pair of clearly lesbian pony parents...and just in time for pride week! The show's producers said it's important that kids see examples of same sex parents as 'normal' and that it fits the shows values of friendship and inclusion.


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## Marcl (Jun 14, 2019)

Guifrog said:


> Yep. It happened yesterday. I wasn't much optimistic and the judgement's day would be postponed again, but tada!
> 
> I mean. According to the decision, churches are still allowed to make their speech against QUILTBAG and the whole thing happened because the Parliament would not carry on previous proposals made 18 years ago. So the Supreme Court intervened, in a workaround that made it now a crime comparable to racism. Better late than never, heh ;p


Clever approach on their side


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## Sam Wamm (Jul 8, 2019)

let's just say i'll accept whatever


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