# In over my head / Help / Vent



## BedsheetWalking (Dec 17, 2020)

TLDR at the break --

My partner and I face extreme financial struggles where our primary source of income is my patreon, commissions, and bits of this and that ; and our hysterical landlord (my birth giver unfortunately) has consistently made this place an extremely hostile environment where we are constantly and regularly threatened with eviction on basis of simply not liking us (because gay, but shes a terrible narcissist who will make up a million reasons why else). This month she has been more brazen and hints that she will be getting a legal order to evict us in 30 days. For now this is not the case, however it will not be the last we hear of it. (Being queer was never a problem while my father was alive, but shes gone off the deepend [honestly shes always been there, but now hes gone shes worse]) 

I am disabled [no ssi, they've denied me over and over again to a point they refuse to continue working with me on the basis of my age] and live in Arizona (where even a cancer patient  [friend of mine] on chemo was denied  her benefits). I can not drive, and there is *no way* for me to commute to a physical job location. I use a cane to walk, I can do sit down work or work that requires only one hand [I got dads tall people back problems (along with other conditions I can overcome in bursts to provide for my partner and I)].

I don't live in a safe enough environment to do telemarketing (sound = they hear me = violence = removal from home = seperated from my brothers who need me = they will probably end up separated by cps = I'll never see them again = my dad's [dead] family is scattered = the one job he gave me I fail)

My household situation is a mess and there is no reasoning with them.

The only fix to my situation is to make more money online so we can leave this terrible place, and I'm really trying my hardest but its just not enough. ($710 a month everything combined between us, $400 for living h e r e, and average rent in our area is 850-1600)
---
TLDR
Just... long story short I'm going crazy and I feel sick and nothing is well; I'm so frustrated I can't even think straight.

If anyone has online job leads (that are actually legit) please toss me a line?
Please. It's dangerous for me to speak on the phone though so I don't even know if a legit job even exists anymore; I've been scammed 3 times now by non speaking "jobs". 

I'm constantly doing commissions but I'm too slow to turn a profit over at what my market allows me to charge 

I've tried really hard on my patreon, Ive rebooted it several times and its consistently growing but its not quite there yet (anyone a patreon/marketing wizard?)

We have literally no one else to talk to or get help from, I was the man with the plan but I've reached my breaking point and I am completely out of resources

I'm totally house bound (disabled)

and honestly... My partner and I could use a hug, but from someone not covered in snot and tears [my face leaks when i'm stressed, some call it "crying" and I am not used to it at all] 

We make roughly $710ish (give or take $25) together a month, if we could consistently make roughly $1200-$1500  a month we could make it work. I have a small nest egg of $500 put away right now but we are trying to put away roughly ten times that so we can move out and be ok for a little bit but that would only buy us a little time before money became a problem again. (and thats if our half dead car doesnt finally just go kaput)

Is there a silent "im having a breakdown" hotline? I can't keep doing this, I feel like years are being peeled off my expiration date.


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## Kinare (Dec 17, 2020)

BedsheetWalking said:


> Is there a silent "im having a breakdown" hotline? I can't keep doing this, I feel like years are being peeled off my expiration date.


There are two text-based chat options I know of.

One, the suicide prevention hotline. https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/
I think a lot of people don't know they have a text chat option. Never used it, so I can't say how it will go.

Two, a website called 7Cups. https://www.7cups.com/connect/
This one I gave a try. Most people who have tried it say good things. I did not like the person I was connected with and have not gone back since.

Your partner - is it not possible for them to work either? You didn't mention their situation in your post, only yours. $710 a month for even one person is nothing, so no wonder you're struggling trying to take care of both of you on that, not to mention the toxic emotional environment. =/

I'm unsure what your skillset is, but while helping another friend who has disabilities find some options I found Ability Jobs.








						Job Search - abilityJOBS
					

Welcome Job Seeker abilityJOBS is the first and largest employment website for job seekers with disABILITIES. Since 1995, we have provided a place where people with disABILITIES can seek employment, confident they will be evaluated solely on their skills and experience. Posting your resume and...




					www.abilityjobs.com
				



They just had an online job fair and they have some regularly, so it's pretty nifty. Downside is there's not many entry-level opportunities, but you may get lucky and find something.

I had also found on my own an agency that paid you to review Google and website ads. It was boring af and turned out I didn't have the mindset they needed for it (need to be a linear thinker while also being able to predict other linear thinkers, which is just weird to me). Pretty sure it's legit having looked the company and others like it up before going through their training program. I found their ad on Indeed, if that's something you think you could do I could try to find it again.


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## BedsheetWalking (Dec 17, 2020)

Kinare said:


> There are two text-based chat options I know of.
> 
> One, the suicide prevention hotline. https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/chat/
> I think a lot of people don't know they have a text chat option. Never used it, so I can't say how it will go.
> ...



Yes please, thank you so much. I'll look at both that link and indeed.

He had work but he got sick and his job wouldnt let him go back for 3 weeks (covid) and now they arnt giving him more than a few hours a week. He had two jobs at one point but the second job closed (covid shut down), and the factory job he used to have closed permanently, hes just gotten a lead for another job but we are waiting on that call and it hasn't happened yet. It's hard for him to find full time work these days even totally able. We fear he might be losing his last job now because my mother likes to show up and harass him at work, or do crazy shit where he has to come home for an hour and go back.

as for my skillset:
i have no soul and can work a mind numbing soul crushing job forever with no issues so long as I have a wage that can take care of us.
art? kinda? Ive done commissions, and ive illustrated childrens books, but its not viable. I was supposed to work a contract where id work with these guys making videos for 1200 a month but they closed doors on us when they hired too many people and the owner realized he too was in over his head. (Photoshop, SAI, Gimp)
im certified in BMAS (business, management, (and) accounting skills), and mechanical drafting. 
Despite my poor grammar in this thread and until now, I have a pretty decent handle on the English language and writing skills.
Ican lay the tracks or push the train but never both on the same project. 
I have a very basic understanding of website building and game making; I cant make you the next halo but I can whip you up a mean point n click game or mario clone. (Flash, HTML5)
I have 3 semesters of child psychology and a few other credits: no degree, went bankrupt getting it and I couldn't pay them and instead of suing me they just sorta erased me so I cant really use that but it was meant to go towards a teaching degree so i can be an informal tutor if that's a thing. I was 3 semesters in on a teaching degree (I thought English teacher and art teacher would be nice because im passionate about art and language; they are basically the same thing, early man had pictures and it bloomed language culture) 

I've used the Suicide Prevention hotline before and I was put on hold for 1.5 hours. Luckily the waiting for 1.5 hours in itself was long enough for my brain to realize just how sad and pathetic I am and I logged off not wanting to waste anyone's time, and thankfully my brain cooked up that cleaning up my corpse also is a waste of time. I'm feeling a little better after the nap, and alot better after you've shown me the ability site. It's cold today so my body hurts but I dare say I'm feeling OK.


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## Kinare (Dec 18, 2020)

This is the other link: https://careers.lionbridge.com/jobs/rater-united-states

The job I mentioned is "Personalized Ads Evaluator", but they list by state now apparently, and I don't see Arizona as an option there. =/ This one seems to be almost exactly the same job, but is open to the whole US. They have competing companies as well, so you could do a little research on ad evaluation companies and see if any others have your state as an option if these guys didn't work out.

When you say mechanical drafting, do you mean CAD by any chance? I don't know about there, but here I've seen quite the demand for it. I did not see any work from home opportunities, but since you are trained in it that may be a route to explore more.

Website building - this may be an option for you too. It's something I myself looked into, but I don't have the drive for something like that. People will pay a lot to have a website built for them even from a template thingy like Wix or whatever. If you can build from scratch or do custom things? Even better. You could list yourself on a site like Upwork, or just try to find clients outside of sites like that.


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## Foxy Emy (Dec 18, 2020)

I relate to this... hard. Only difference is that me and my partner have SSI, but she signed away legal guardianship rights past the age of 18 which makes doing finances with her impossible unless we go through her dad first.

We could marry and get rid of the guardianship, but then she would lose her SSI because of my income which isn't enough by itself to support us and our daughter.


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## BedsheetWalking (Dec 18, 2020)

Kinare said:


> This is the other link: https://careers.lionbridge.com/jobs/rater-united-states
> 
> The job I mentioned is "Personalized Ads Evaluator", but they list by state now apparently, and I don't see Arizona as an option there. =/ This one seems to be almost exactly the same job, but is open to the whole US. They have competing companies as well, so you could do a little research on ad evaluation companies and see if any others have your state as an option if these guys didn't work out.
> 
> ...


Thank you kindly!


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## jimsins (Dec 21, 2020)

Lil peep shoe vans used to say that something happened in the past and is no longer important or worth arguing about We had our differences in the past, but that's all *water under the bridge* now.


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## BedsheetWalking (Dec 22, 2020)

jimsins said:


> Lil peep shoe vans used to say that something happened in the past and is no longer important or worth arguing about We had our differences in the past, but that's all *water under the bridge* now.


?


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## Deleted member 111470 (Dec 22, 2020)

@BedsheetWalking

You can try captioning or transcribing for rev.com - it is a legit way of earning some money. I failed their test the first time, and if you fail - you can try again after 45 days. I suspect I got it wrong because I'm not a native English speaker or because my formatting was all wrong.

If you have the time, you can look up guides on how to complete their test and how to do work for them aftewards. I know that such guides exist but I didn't look them up intentionally.

Here's a link to their offers:








						Freelance Jobs | Work from Home Transcription & Caption Jobs - Rev
					

Join Rev's team of freelance transcriptionists, captioners or translators and work from home. Flexible work schedules, hundreds of jobs, weekly pay.




					www.rev.com
				




You can also try to sell your skills as an artist over at fiverr, although I have no idea how it works. I have watched videos of some musicians using it but that's about it. I know it's legit.








						Your Access To This Website Has Been Blocked
					

Something in your behavior has triggered our protection systems - we apologise for any inconvenience this process may have caused.




					www.fiverr.com
				




[edit]
No idea why it shows that fiverr is blocked. I'll drop a hyperlink here just in case.
[/edit]

I don't know anything else that can work in such a short notice. I am not from the USA so I can't give you any other leads.


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## Connor J. Coyote (Dec 23, 2020)

BedsheetWalking said:


> snip


It sounds like you need more of a social worker, and perhaps a local social services agency may help you out in finding one in your area...... as frankly, (I personally think) that that'd be a better route for you to try and get some help; (especially if you're disabled/unemployed).

As, (in all honesty): that might lead to something better than asking a bunch of random people online for help, or... what to do in your situation.... as online advice can only go so far, usually.

Where as - a local person would know exactly where you can go, and what services are available there, etc..... so - you can try your local phone book, or ask at your local church, or whatever - for some leads as to where you can go.


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## Connor J. Coyote (Jan 1, 2021)

Connor J. Coyote said:


> It sounds like you need more of a social worker, and perhaps a local social services agency may help you out in finding one in your area...... as frankly, (I personally think) that that'd be a better route for you to try and get some help; (especially if you're disabled/unemployed).
> 
> As, (in all honesty): that might lead to something better than asking a bunch of random people online for help, or... what to do in your situation.... as online advice can only go so far, usually.
> 
> Where as - a local person would know exactly where you can go, and what services are available there, etc..... so - you can try your local phone book, or ask at your local church, or whatever - for some leads as to where you can go.



I gotta add to this, yo..... not just for the OP, but - for anyone else also..... in that social services is where you *_really need to go to_* in order to get any type of assistance, with critical issues (like the OP is describing). As - the staff and workers at these places (often times) know exactly where to go - and often times have up-to-the-minute information, about what services are currently available, (in the local area that you're located in).

And so - you have nothing to lose really..... simply by visiting them, and telling them your situation, and - (most importantly) *ask* for some assistance - in the areas that you need help with.

That's nothing to be ashamed of. That's just being smart..... and anyone in the OP's situation can, (and should) think about doing the same thing - regardless of where they are.

As online help can only get you so far..... so - don't just rely on that exclusively.


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