# Depression discussion



## Takun (Mar 3, 2011)

How many people here have been severely depressed?  A few days ago I deleted everything and was pretty much preparing to do some really dumb shit but some good friends talked me out of it.  If you've never felt that way, I can imagine it is hard to relate.  I feel it's really easy to blow people off as attention whoring when they really do have a problem.  If someone does come to you, I ask that you take it seriously though.  I feel bad because last night I bugged probably 10 people on IM and my phone at 3 in the morning because I felt like I hit rock bottom.  Have you felt this way FAF?  Can we do something about this.  No one should be without resources.  I know FAF isn't your hugbox, but I'm not talking about someone saying something snarky on a picture, I'm talking full on why wake up in the morning or do anything depression.  

What has been bothering you FAF?  


Also I'm back, for a bit.  Things seem to be picking up but I skipped class monday and Tuesday I was basically on the edge the whole day.  It's quite a scary experience.  I'm rambling and don't know how to continue this thread, but I'd like do see if we can get a serious thread going on here.  No one should have to lose a friend to depression.


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## Gavrill (Mar 3, 2011)

I know all about that kinda stuff...

PM me?

I hope you're gonna be okay, Takun.


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## Takun (Mar 3, 2011)

I'm feeling a lot better, I was actually looking to get a serious thread going for problems.  I started a Coming Out thread that turned out to be a huge success.  I'd like to get something similar going here.  It's so hard to relate to anyone or to feel of any worth at all when things go bad.  I was wondering as to how people feel about this.  There seem to be some huge misunderstanding in the world such as "just get over it."


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## ArielMT (Mar 3, 2011)

Having a few people to talk to one-on-one really does help, doesn't it?  You may feel bad for bugging them at such an odd hour, but wouldn't they have felt bad if you didn't?

Welcome back from the edge of the abyss.


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## Monster. (Mar 3, 2011)

Today, I called my mom at work because I was afraid that I'd finally hit rock bottom being that I'd broken down in the middle of class. Instead of being embarrassed, it scared the hell out of me; what if I start having suicidal thoughts? What if I jump in front of a car walking down the street because it felt like I should? I've never had those thoughts, even in my deepest depression during my mid-teen years, but I'm constantly paranoid that they'll start to happen.

Anyway, I called my mom, broke down to her for a good three hours (all while on a public train, mind you), and continued to cry while she chided me for being so hard on myself. That's a problem I've always dealt with, as well as the feeling of pure hatred for myself. Since I'm in college and don't feel I'm doing as well as I should, I've gotten so hard on myself that I literally despise myself and remind myself of that fact every morning. I shouldn't, but I do. So to hear my mom's sensible voice and reasoning right there as I'm feeling horrible made it better since my mom and I have a very close relationship, one that rivals the one between my uncle and I (we're 11 years apart, so he pretty much watched me grow and I watched him go from a kid to a successful young adult and want desperately to follow in his footsteps).

I should probably be getting help for my anxiety and depression, but I don't want pills. I don't want some quack to tell me I'm nuts and stressed and that I need to take any sort of medicine or attend one of those Anxiety Anonymous group meetings to talk about my issues.


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## Takun (Mar 3, 2011)

ArielMT said:


> Having a few people to talk to one-on-one really does help, doesn't it?  You may feel bad for bugging them at such an odd hour, but wouldn't they have felt bad if you didn't?
> 
> Welcome back from the edge of the abyss.


 
Thanks.  Related I suppose:  The word faggot.  Yes you use it to mean dumb/stupid thing you don't like.  However, having 4 roommates use it with angry tones around you for a week and a half can really bring you down to the point of not ever wanting to leave your room.




Gaz said:


> Today, I called my mom at work because I was afraid  that I'd finally hit rock bottom being that I'd broken down in the  middle of class. *Instead of being embarrassed, it scared the hell out of  me*; what if I start having suicidal thoughts? What if I jump in front  of a car walking down the street because it felt like I should? I've  never had those thoughts, even in my deepest depression during my  mid-teen years, but I'm constantly paranoid that they'll start to  happen.
> 
> Anyway, I called my mom, broke down to her for a good  three hours (all while on a public train, mind you), and continued to  cry while she chided me for being so hard on myself. That's a problem  I've always dealt with, as well as the feeling of pure hatred for  myself. Since I'm in college and don't feel I'm doing as well as I  should, I've gotten so hard on myself that I literally despise myself  and remind myself of that fact every morning. I shouldn't, but I do. So  to hear my mom's sensible voice and reasoning right there as I'm feeling  horrible made it better since my mom and I have a very close  relationship, one that rivals the one between my uncle and I (we're 11  years apart, so he pretty much watched me grow and I watched him go from  a kid to a successful young adult and want desperately to follow in his  footsteps).
> 
> I should probably be getting help for my anxiety and  depression, but I don't want pills. I don't want some quack to tell me  I'm nuts and stressed and that I need to take any sort of medicine or  attend one of those Anxiety Anonymous group meetings to talk about my  issues.


 
This is too true.  Well I get embarrassed to because I'm a pretty independent person.  I like being the stable one and it was hard for me to admit that I needed help.  It's really scary.  It's terrifying when you realize that you are actually thinking about it.  That's the worst part.  You are conscious about what you are planning.  Getting help is nice but like you I hate to rely on medication.


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## Gavrill (Mar 3, 2011)

Takun said:


> I'm feeling a lot better, I was actually looking to get a serious thread going for problems.  I started a Coming Out thread that turned out to be a huge success.  I'd like to get something similar going here.  It's so hard to relate to anyone or to feel of any worth at all when things go bad.  I was wondering as to how people feel about this.  There seem to be some huge misunderstanding in the world such as "just get over it."


 
Yeah, I'm just hoping it isn't overrun with stupid, insensitive comments.

Ahh....well, I guess I'll post what I've got.

I have BPD along with bipolar. Not a great combo. I used to have LOTS of issues, especially impulsively attempting suicide. I did that....25, 30 times? 
Anyways, I stopped doing that as soon as I was out of my grandparents' house and haven't done it since. That's the summary.


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## Scotty1700 (Mar 3, 2011)

Dude I just had a bit of a breakup and I'm constantly depressed but I'm trying to look on the bright side of things. Seriously, I know we hardly know each other but I'm all ears man, I'm sure there's something that you can relate to with me. Suppose we'll never know till ya drop a PM. Going to bed soon but if you read this and still want to talk I can afford a few minutes. Every second counts when you're tryin' to make someone feel better


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## Unsilenced (Mar 3, 2011)

Depression sucks. Medication seems to work though. At least for me.


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## Shark_the_raptor (Mar 3, 2011)

I know how you feel all too well.  It really sucks and is frustrating.


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## Gavrill (Mar 3, 2011)

Unsilenced said:


> Depression sucks. Medication seems to work though. At least for me.


 
I thought it worked for me until I realized that I had really bad panicky spells while stoned on antidepressants.


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## jeff (Mar 3, 2011)

I honestly don't think that FAF should ever be used to aid someone whos depressed. From what I've seen in the past it creates a level of codependency for some people, and it especially causes them distress when a new person who has never spoken to them stirs the pot.

I think staying socially active with friends in your proximity is the single best way to kill off depression, even when you don't necessarily want to do it.
So far as I've seen, too, there's nothing wrong with making angst or depression threads. For the most part, everyone seems to be okay with doling out advice and saying crappy feel-good things.

work has been stressing me out nonstop and i can barely think at the end of the day and im starting to develop insomnia from it and all i can think is "im better than this" and i know thats exactly where the stress is coming from


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## Scotty1700 (Mar 3, 2011)

Shartblaster said:


> I honestly don't think that FAF should ever be used to aid someone whos depressed. From what I've seen in the past it creates a level of codependency for some people, and it especially causes them distress when a new person who has never spoken to them stirs the pot.
> 
> I think staying socially active with friends in your proximity is the single best way to kill off depression, even when you don't necessarily want to do it.
> So far as I've seen, too, there's nothing wrong with making angst or depression threads. For the most part, everyone seems to be okay with doling out advice and saying crappy feel-good things.


 
Believe it or not there's a rare few who actually value a human life and wish to talk some sense into someone else. You'd be surprised.


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## Monster. (Mar 3, 2011)

Takun said:


> This is too true.  Well I get embarrassed to because I'm a pretty independent person.  I like being the stable one and it was hard for me to admit that I needed help.  It's really scary.  It's terrifying when you realize that you are actually thinking about it.  That's the worst part.  *You are conscious about what you are planning.*  Getting help is nice but like you I hate to rely on medication.


That's when I call my mom. Sounds totally lame, but I need her more than anything so it's nice to be able to call her whenever, tell her what's wrong, and hear her say something completely logical and just appropriate for that moment. Eventually, though, I do have to get back into therapy, which sucks.


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## Gavrill (Mar 3, 2011)

Shartblaster said:


> I honestly don't think that FAF should ever be used to aid someone whos depressed. From what I've seen in the past it creates a level of codependency for some people, and it especially causes them distress when a new person who has never spoken to them stirs the pot.
> 
> I think staying socially active with friends in your proximity is the single best way to kill off depression, even when you don't necessarily want to do it.
> So far as I've seen, too, there's nothing wrong with making angst or depression threads. For the most part, everyone seems to be okay with doling out advice and saying crappy feel-good things.


Although I agree, I think it might be beneficial to certain individuals, though I can't say I'd delve much further than I have in the past with random people on FAF (I'm sure you remember that). 

Like group therapy, I guess.


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## Unsilenced (Mar 3, 2011)

Skift said:


> I thought it worked for me until I realized that I had really bad panicky spells while stoned on antidepressants.



...

You shouldn't feel stoned unless something's wrong I don't think...


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## Corinne (Mar 3, 2011)

I'm sorry to hear about your depression.  I know how you feel all too well!

Things will look up, however.  I'm sure of it. ^_^


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## Gavrill (Mar 3, 2011)

Unsilenced said:


> ...
> 
> You shouldn't feel stoned unless something's wrong I don't think...


 I think it may have been the sheer amount of meds I was/have been on or something.


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## Nicole1725 (Mar 3, 2011)

I have had moments of extreme depression. I usually talk to people on MSN about my feelings and family troubles. I do know that other people have it worse, but during such times it's hard to really look on the bright side. -_-


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## Plague Wolfen (Mar 3, 2011)

Takun said:


> There seem to be some huge misunderstanding in the world such as "just get over it."



I know what you mean. I've seen this happen a lot to individuals that are in dire need of support and not a hard ass attitude. Unfortunately I think that arises from too many people who don't have a legitimate problem using depression as a form of attention seeking. Like many other scenarios, it screws things up for those in need of serious help and support.

Also it occurs from doctors who over-diagnose, in turn giving those who don't have an actual problem a blank check for mayhem. :/


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## Plague Wolfen (Mar 3, 2011)

Skift said:


> I think it may have been the sheer amount of meds I was/have been on or something.



Sounds more like type versus amount. A lot of meds used to treat depression double as meds for psychotic illnesses such as schizophrenia in which the key idea is sedation. Sadly.

Glad you were smart enough to get off of them if they were doing more damage than good hun.


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## BRN (Mar 3, 2011)

Depression's a monster... the scariest thing about how far it brings you down, is that you can't help but think that you're thinking rationally when you're down there. Not only does everything look bad... everything looks seriously bad, and you think you're thinking seriously.


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## Isen (Mar 3, 2011)

I'm currently out of school to deal with major depression and anxiety.  I essentially stopped functioning last semester.  I couldn't focus on anything and had no motivation.  I didn't want to see or talk to anyone.  I would sleep until 3 or 4 PM, eat one meal, and then want to sleep more.  I'm doing better now, but I still have a ways to go I guess.  I still mostly just want to be a hermit and ignore everybody.  I've been seeing a therapist, and I'm only now beginning to realize how much baggage I've been carrying and how much of an effect it has.  



Takun said:


> Thanks.  Related I suppose:  The word faggot.  Yes you use it to mean dumb/stupid thing you don't like.  However, having 4 roommates use it with angry tones around you for a week and a half can really bring you down to the point of not ever wanting to leave your room.


But but but intent is a magical mystical thing that makes it impossible to hurt anyone you don't mean to hurt.

A friend who constantly calls things "gay" and "so homosexual" and people "faggots" made a "straight pride" type event on facebook.  Yesterday, I posted a few words suggesting that it might not be in the best taste.  Somehow, it's turned into a shitstorm.  I know it's just a stupid facebook thing, but goddammit why can't even just ONE of my best friends from home talk about homosexuality without going " fags are gross man".


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## Plague Wolfen (Mar 3, 2011)

Isen said:


> But but but intent is a magical mystical thing that makes it impossible to hurt anyone you don't mean to hurt.



Ha! Apparently that's the unwavering logic of most today. Seriously though, people need to understand regardless of intent, if it bugs someone you should be respectful and cut it out. Everyone takes and handles things differently. I'm sorry to hear that you were put in that position Takun, though I'm glad that you seem to be a little happier.


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## Takun (Mar 3, 2011)

Isen said:


> I'm currently out of school to deal with major depression and anxiety.  I essentially stopped functioning last semester.  I couldn't focus on anything and had no motivation.  I didn't want to see or talk to anyone.  I would sleep until 3 or 4 PM, eat one meal, and then want to sleep more.  I'm doing better now, but I still have a ways to go I guess.  I still mostly just want to be a hermit and ignore everybody.  I've been seeing a therapist, and I'm only now beginning to realize how much baggage I've been carrying and how much of an effect it has.
> 
> 
> But but but intent is a magical mystical thing that makes it impossible to hurt anyone you don't mean to hurt.
> ...



My friends in high school were typical guys.  They be like "2 girls making out is hot but 2 dudes together is just wrong."  Yeah as I'm here in the fucking closet thinking my friends will all hate me.  T:   Yeah it's funny to pretend you are using it ironically or that it's just a joke but it can really be bad.  Yeah on the internet everyone is "fags" but come on now have some tact.  I had to stick up for my roommates little brother because he was "being a fucking faerie wanting to learn the piano.  He should learn something that will get him chicks like the guitar."  Goddamn you fucking moron.


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## Isen (Mar 3, 2011)

Takun said:


> My friends in high school were typical guys.  They be like "2 girls making out is hot but 2 dudes together is just wrong."  Yeah as I'm here in the fucking closet thinking my friends will all hate me.  T:   Yeah it's funny to pretend you are using it ironically or that it's just a joke but it can really be bad.  Yeah on the internet everyone is "fags" but come on now have some tact.  I had to stick up for my roommates little brother because he was "being a fucking faerie wanting to learn the piano.  He should learn something that will get him chicks like the guitar."  Goddamn you fucking moron.


Yeah, I know how that shit is.  I went to Christian schools my entire life until college.  It is seriously impossible for me to exaggerate how hyper-conservative my school was.  It seriously taught that America is "God's new chosen nation".  We had a rule that required guys and girls to stay at least 6 inches apart at all times.  One teacher was worried that that wasn't enough, since apparently hugging and lap sitting between girls might encourage lesbianism.  Pat Robertson was our graduation speaker.  Yes, really.

My little group of friends from high school has always been inseparable.  Unfortunately, they're openly homophobic at worst and ignorant of how using slurs can hurt at best.  It tends toward blatant homophobia, usually.  They're otherwise awesome guys.  It kills me.  Yeah, yeah so-and-so is such a faggot, this game is so gay, don't be such a fag I'm different than you I'm different than you I'm different from you I GET IT.


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## Cyanide_tiger (Mar 3, 2011)

I can't honestly say that sitting and talking with someone about depression has done much to help me for more than a minute or two. Instead of a friend being there for me, it usually feels more like someone just sitting there listening to me bitch about my problems and dwell on the past while waiting for me to shut the fuck up than most anything else really. I've been dealing with depression for a fair amount of time now, and I can't honestly remember one time anyone coming to me - online or not - and showing any real concern without me having deliberately prompted the question. 

I also get sick of the usual, and predictable, response of "Oh, everything will get better!" Yeah, well, it hasn't. It's only gone down hill, so fuck you. Saying that when you consistantly fail to see a reason to get a job or stay in school or even leave your room for anything but necesseties(food, bathroom, smokes) doesn't actually help anything. It feels like there's no light at the end of the tunnel. Probably the best metaphor I can relate the way I'm feeling to is that my life is a car driving around on a circular track that has one unavoidable obstacle after another, each one damaging me further and further as I continue to go around in the same damn circle, hitting the same pitfalls, and even though I'm looking, there is no exit in sight, so I'm stucking going over the same shit time and again with no end in sight, just another lap.

It's about all I can do to put on a mask and pretend everything is fine so I don't have to trouble the people around me with shit they can't(or don't care to) do anything about. Fuck.


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## BRN (Mar 3, 2011)

My own depression's a cause and an effect leading to itself. It's been a couple of years and I've just stopped caring about a lot of things; everything looks the same, and life looks abitrary. Finding a reason to wake up is the challenge of each day, and it can feel like I'm stumbling forward through each day simply because I have to, like sitting, watching a bad movie, waiting for it to end just so I can finally get out. Except the movie never ends. There's no plot, there's no action, there's no reason to watch it. The characters are all the same and it loops similar scenes over and over. I've watched enough of it to know exactly what the rest is going to be like, but it's still got dozens of years of film left to play before I can leave politely. Sometimes I just think about getting up and exiting the theatre, but I know that I'd be annoying everyone around me, so, I sit back down. I can't complain, because in the theatre you're not allowed to talk. So I sit, just waiting.


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## Fay V (Mar 3, 2011)

It has been about a year now since I finished my treatment (I just stopped showing up). Depression was something that I can honestly say was the worst thing that ever happened to me. I suspect I was depressed for a long time. I had a lot of suicidal thoughts for a long time, but I ignored them because I didn't want to be labeled as crazy, weak, or attention whoring. What I truly despise though is the belief people that suicidal thoughts are completely selfish. I remember clearly, early on, when I was driving 65 and planned to swerve the car into the telephone poll. I won't deny being a coward, i picked that road because I was sure that was fast enough to kill me instantly, but the thing that stopped me what realizing that my family would have to pay for all that stuff when I was gone, the car, the funeral, all of it. Of course, that was early on. It was an impulse I ignored and mostly stopped thinking about until later. 
I was having a rough semester, nothing seemed to be going right. I didn't realized how incredibly depressed I was until I noticed that I no longer had any interest in my writing. To clarify how extreme this was, for the past seven years writing had been the way I dealt with stress and life in general. It was the only thing that got me through a ton of moves and so on. To no longer want to get up, eat, or write...I realized I was sick. At that time as well, I was having multiple breakdowns. I am not normally a person that cries, but I would find myself alone at night, not just physically but emotionally. There was an emptiness clawing at me inside. I would sit down and just have terrible thoughts spiraling through my head on how absolutely worthless I was. I was absolutely convinced that the world would be better off with me dead, but I was far too scared to do anything, which just lead me to thinking worse of myself for being a coward and subjecting people to my awfulness because I was too much of a pussy to kill myself. Whenever I did talk to people in these states, I'd feel worse for subjecting them to my mood, nothing they said could help. It was all just stock phrases to me because I couldn't even fathom someone considering me to be worth something. 
I am very lucky that I recognized the symptoms of depression and went to the doctor. I got checked into a therapist and got some meds to help. 

Like I said it's been a year and I've never come close to that bad. Even on my worst days I still have a feeling of self worth. Ironically one of the things that really helped was becoming something of a nihilist. I worry sometimes though, if my mood will plummet again and I wont be able to dig myself out...


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## Cyanide_tiger (Mar 3, 2011)

Fay V said:


> Whenever I did talk to people in these states, I'd feel worse for subjecting them to my mood, nothing they said could help. It was all just stock phrases to me because I couldn't even fathom someone considering me to be worth something.


 
That's pretty much what I was trying to say above, except I've never given serious thought to suicide. I'm not sure if that's my own morals on the issue or my sometimes overwhelming sense of logic that I tend to attempt to adhere to when all else fails.


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## ramsay_baggins (Mar 3, 2011)

I was depressed for a while while I was at Grammar School, my parents were getting divorced, my sister was dying from anorexia, I was being bullied constantly...
The worst thing is, because my mum was coping with the divorce and my sister, I had to completely and utterly hide it from my family and be the strong one. My youngest brother was too young to understand what was going on and my other brother turned into an angry, hateful monster.

I started self harming and basically turned into a automaton. The only people who figured something was wrong were my friends from youth club. They were the only people who even offered to help. They were the only people who got me through that. I was never quite suicidal, but I was just going through the motions of life, not feeling anything.

Depression is a horrible, horrible illness. Even when I got past the self harm and the absence of emotion, when I started coming back to normality the whole sum of everything I hadn't felt over that year hit me at once. I had a mini breakdown. It was only after that that I started to get back to my old self.

It really, really distresses me when people talk about depression and self harm like it's an attention seeking thing. Ignorant people. Yes, I know some people do use those terms to get attention, and frankly, they disgust me.

I hope things in your flat and with your work start to look up for you soon, Takun.


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## MurcielagoMedula (Mar 3, 2011)

Takun said:


> My friends in high school were typical guys.  They be like "2 girls making out is hot but 2 dudes together is just wrong."  Yeah as I'm here in the fucking closet thinking my friends will all hate me.  T:   Yeah it's funny to pretend you are using it ironically or that it's just a joke but it can really be bad.  Yeah on the internet everyone is "fags" but come on now have some tact.  I had to stick up for my roommates little brother because he was "being a fucking faerie wanting to learn the piano.  He should learn something that will get him chicks like the guitar."  Goddamn you fucking moron.


 
I know your pain, I actually got beat up sometimes. Although I turned out bi, so I THOUGHT I was safe. ahahaha-no. Not if the bus-ride jeerings were anything to go by. Not by a long shot.

 I think one of the most depressing things is that I've technically been in a relationship once. It was with a girl, let's call her "Patty". She asked me out to the Semi-formal. She was sweet, not too bad looking. She was  little heavy, but truth be told I never really cared, she had amazing hair and she was fun to be around. Me being the awkward social iiot I was, I wanted to go, but I wasn't sure if I had plans so I said. "I'll check my Calendar."

 Two periods later, one of her friends smacks me over the head. "You'll check your Calendar?!"
 So then I had to explain that I had been very serious and that I would indeed be going with Patty. 
The dance went relatively well, until the slow dance. She moved in for what would be my first kiss. I had all the preperations. Mouth firmly shut, tongue inside my mouth, very soft. Just as I made contact this went through my mind:
 My very first k-tongue!
She sticks her tongue in my mouth. According to my friends watching nearby I physically recoiled. However I recovered and the rest of the dance went smoothly.
We were all lovey-dovey for about four days and I thought it was going well. 
Over the christmas break I made a clay heart for her. I spent alot of time trying to carve our initials into the opposite sides without getting that gunky residue to mess up the outside. 
 The day we got back from break I had actually left it at home by accident. And when we got to lunch, Patty explained that we could no longer go out, that she was not at a point in her life to be in a relationship, and that she had to focus on her school-work. I panicked and did what I (thankfully) always do. I smiled and said I was ok with it. I hugged her and said that I would still care about her(I still do), and that if it was what made her happy I would be ok.

I was fine until I got home and found that clay heart. That was the second time in my life I cried myself to sleep. At first I wanted to smash that little clay heart, but I didn't. I have it somewhere in my basement.

 So that's when I stopped looking for relationships.


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## K.A.I.S.E.R- X (Mar 3, 2011)

I can say that I have never have suicidal thoughts but I have hit rock bottom twice in my life. There were times where I thought that I would be homeless and others when things could not get worse but they did because of my attitude. Now when I look back I realize that things could of been worse if I continued down that path of self pity, fear, and anger. Ever since then I have made a commitment to myself to never that path again and try to stay positive no matter what the situation may be.


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## Plague Wolfen (Mar 3, 2011)

It's unfortunate to know that so many here struggle from depression and more so in that they feel that they have no effective outlet or means of dealing with it. I personally do not suffer from depression specifically. Half of my blood line suffers from Major Depressive Disorder (like Bipolar, but with just the lows and none of the mania) and the other suffers from a serious non-depression related illness. I took after the non-depressive side. I can't say I know what it likes to suffer from depression, but I suffer from mental illness and have personally watched many close to me suffer and struggle as well. Some through medication, therapy or whatever other means found ways to successfully deal with it and lead functional lives. The others were slowly crippled.

I believe it was mentioned earlier the idea of "just get over it" being an ignorant mentality and it is indeed. And it's a mentality that's very common especially in older generations that were raised before mental illness was deemed a legitimate issue. It creates a barrier and fear for younger generations suffering and for the older generations themselves suffering in silence because they were taught that such things are no big deal.

From personal experience with my patients "things will get better!" is the most stupid, not to mention damaging thing you can say to someone who suffers specifically from depression. Individuals with depression (and I don't mean this to be in any way insulting) are fragile emotionally. Saying things like that sets them up for catastrophe when the smallest failure or perceived failure comes along. It just reaffirms the idea that things are indeed not getting better. Rather than spitting out hope that hasn't yet come along it's more constructive to focus on actual accomplishments that are happening in the here and now. Otherwise statements like quoted, followed by disappointment, just come off as false hope.


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## Gavrill (Mar 3, 2011)

Plague Wolfen said:


> Sounds more like type versus amount. A lot of meds used to treat depression double as meds for psychotic illnesses such as schizophrenia in which the key idea is sedation. Sadly.
> 
> Glad you were smart enough to get off of them if they were doing more damage than good hun.


 
Yeah. They also put me on a trial medication for something I didn't have (schizophrenia) and oh god that was the worst. i couldn't even walk and just cried a lot ;~;


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## Cyanide_tiger (Mar 3, 2011)

Plague Wolfen said:


> From personal experience with my patients *"things will get better!"* is the most stupid, not to mention damaging thing you can say to someone who suffers specifically from depression. Individuals with depression (and I don't mean this to be in any way insulting) are fragile emotionally. Saying things like that sets them up for catastrophe when the smallest failure or perceived failure comes along. It just reaffirms the idea that things are indeed not getting better. Rather than spitting out hope that hasn't yet come along it's more constructive to focus on actual accomplishments that are happening in the here and now. Otherwise statements like quoted, followed by disappointment, just come off as false hope.


 
I can't This this part of your post hard enough here. Hearing that or some similar phrase whenever I'm feeling especially dragged down just pisses me off, if it wasn't abundantly obvious from my earlier post. I wasn't entirely sure why I generally have that automatic reaction to that, but the way you explain it here helps me make sense of it. Thank you. 



Skift said:


> Yeah. They also put me on a trial medication for something I didn't have (schizophrenia) and oh god that was the worst. i couldn't even walk and just cried a lot ;~;


 
Oh shit, that sounds horrible! I can't even imagine going through that.


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## Plague Wolfen (Mar 3, 2011)

Skift said:


> Yeah. They also put me on a trial medication for something I didn't have (schizophrenia) and oh god that was the worst. i couldn't even walk and just cried a lot ;~;



Yikes. Not good at all. I have been on many anti-psychotics so I know personally how wretched those medications are. I've also had the misfortune of seeing many patients "zombified" on it. Sadly despite recommendations psychiatrists have the final say in prescriptions, not psychologists. All psychologists can do is bitch about the validity of the other doctors decision. Especially since as long as the dosage is safe it's impossible to report and argue incompetence for just prescribing a drug, no matter the list of reasons presented as to why it was unneeded. :rolls eyes:


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## Plague Wolfen (Mar 3, 2011)

Cyanide_tiger said:


> I can't This this part of your post hard enough here. Hearing that or some similar phrase whenever I'm feeling especially dragged down just pisses me off, if it wasn't abundantly obvious from my earlier post. I wasn't entirely sure why I generally have that automatic reaction to that, but the way you explain it here helps me make sense of it. Thank you.



It's no consolation, this I know, but most people in the field join because they're "soccer mom types" (not literally, I mean in mentality) that apparently think psychology is just "giving helpful advice!" 9 times of 10 they just makes things worse and cause me headaches from the head desking I will be doing for the rest of my life.

Another phrase hated among people that just makes me want to choke co-workers: "I know exactly how you feel." Doctors are people too with their own problems. Some are a lot more screwed up than you can ever imagine. Regardless of that fact, the last thing anyone wants to hear is that statement. It almost feels like someone telling you "we all have that problem, no biggie" just in different, prettier phrasing. It makes the person feel like their problem isn't being taken seriously or is deemed minuscule. And if the person doesn't end up feeling that way, they feel like you're talking down to them like you would do a child or a baby. I don't care if it's a mental illness or physical illness, pretty sure the average person isn't going to take kindly to being treated like an invalid. Ugh. :head desks thinking about the stupidity of doctors:


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## dinosaurdammit (Mar 3, 2011)

I feel constantly depressed. The slightest thing can send me from an ok mood right down to wailing in the bathroom. I know a lot of it is hormones right now- truth is I hope that is it. More and more lately I have gotten scared over the fact I honestly could care less if I didn't wake up tomorrow. I can't talk to anyone about it and I feel honestly stuck. Even if I did tell someone there is nothing that can be done right now for it. I always feel a sense of helplessness and that just makes matters worse. I have to put on a mask around my husband and everyone else as I am afraid what would happen if I told anyone how fucked up in the head I am. Being depressed and not being able to do anything about it just makes me more depressed. I hate this feeling but I know others go through it too so I don't feel 100% alone- even if I don't know those people personally.


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## Pine (Mar 3, 2011)

I was diagnosed at 10, but I've been pretty good for the past year and a half until this last weekend. I think the main cause is work. Sometimes I feel like sticking my head in the grill press because it'd be a cool way to go out.  It's become so ridiculously serious that I'm looking for colleges because school feels _less_ serious than what I actually have to do now. I still might be depressed if I end up in school, but I'll meet new friends and I'll have more to do, so it could be a good choice.

I think traveling or spending some time away from home is good depression therapy.

Speaking of therapy, I do NOT recommend professionals. You pretty much just pay them to ask you about your past or have them throw suggestions of how to rearrange your current life, which I think makes depression a lot worse. Anti-depressants could work, but I don't trust those either (they would most likely be placebos).


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## Tycho (Mar 3, 2011)

I've had dark times too, I can empathize (somewhat).  There's nothing wrong with trying to grab onto something to keep yourself from drowning in a river of sadness - reaching out for help when you're in rough emotional waters is not an imposition.


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## Heimdal (Mar 3, 2011)

I can't understand depression very well. What's at the heart of it? A lack of confidence? Probably a number of factors, but I mean, would a strong sense of self-confidence override it?

I look to the things I'm best at, looking to be best at, or are within my grasp to achieve. Having a self-confidence built on real skill-sets is a huge guiding light. Even if shit gets bad, I don't think I'm capable of real depression.

I would hope things work out for you in the end. Try keeping an eye to your best qualities, maybe such a perspective would help?


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## dinosaurdammit (Mar 3, 2011)

Heimdal said:


> I can't understand depression very well. What's at the heart of it? A lack of confidence? Probably a number of factors, but I mean, would a strong sense of self-confidence override it?
> 
> I look to the things I'm best at, looking to be best at, or are within my grasp to achieve. Having a self-confidence built on real skill-sets is a huge guiding light. Even if shit gets bad, I don't think I'm capable of real depression.
> 
> I would hope things work out for you in the end. Try keeping an eye to your best qualities, maybe such a perspective would help?


 
Lot of it has to do with chemicals in your brain- some people are deficient in the feel good hormones and suffer "clinical" depression. Some people for what ever reason can not produce enough so they feel bad all the time.


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## Monster. (Mar 3, 2011)

Now that I think about it, I wonder now if I could be suffering from a disorder like bipolar disorder or some sort of personality disorder.


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## Wolf-Bone (Mar 3, 2011)

I'd love to know if I have depression, or some related disorder. Unfortunately There Are No Therapists and the closet thing in my area is a guy who the few times I met him clearly did not like his job, or having me in the same room with him, which honestly is the last thing a person like me needs. Besides, I think I mentioned at least once or twice in our talks that I was adopted. If _I_, a lay person is somewhat aware of adoptee being something of a pathology in its own right, and he isn't, then I'm probably not going to get anywhere. Besides, where would society be without its underclasses, its sacrificial lambs, its losers, bums and nobodies, right? People like me fulfill a very important role.


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## Deo (Mar 3, 2011)

People can PM me to talk about this. But I feel uncomfortable sharing such personal things publicly.


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## MurcielagoMedula (Mar 3, 2011)

Let's hope to god an anti-furry psychologist never finds this thread XP


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## Tycho (Mar 3, 2011)

Wolf-Bone said:


> I'd love to know if I have depression, or some related disorder. Unfortunately There Are No Therapists and the closet thing in my area is a guy who the few times I met him clearly did not like his job, or having me in the same room with him, which honestly is the last thing a person like me needs. Besides, I think I mentioned at least once or twice in our talks that I was adopted. If _I_, a lay person is somewhat aware of adoptee being something of a pathology in its own right, and he isn't, then I'm probably not going to get anywhere. Besides, where would society be without its underclasses, its sacrificial lambs, its losers, bums and nobodies, right? People like me fulfill a very important role.


 
W-B, you're depressed and then some.  Dunno if it's clinical depression, but... you're a mixed bag of odd.


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## Mentova (Mar 3, 2011)

I don't think I'm as depressed as the OP, but I've been dealing with low self esteem and self image issues for a very long time. I seem to fluctuate between being moderately happy to being completely depressed and hating myself. Sometimes I honestly wonder why people talk to me because I see nothing good about myself. I'm annoying, an attention whore, and an idiot. I'm not good at anything that actually matters in life and I honestly wonder where I'm going to be in about 10 years. I try to be a good guy but life loves fucking me over for some reason. The only good thing about my life is that I have a family that loves me and who are pretty well off. I guess that's all you really need though. I just wish I was a better person and wasn't so damn lonely all the time.


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## Schwimmwagen (Mar 3, 2011)

Aye, I can relate to how a lot of you feel... I have posted a wall o' text about it before in a thread where someone felt a bit lonely, so I won't bother writing it out again. Still, if anyone really needs a friendly ear, they can always PM me and we can take it to MSN/Skype/Yahoo/Steam or something. c:


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## Tycho (Mar 3, 2011)

Heckler & Koch said:


> I don't think I'm as depressed as the OP, but I've been dealing with low self esteem and self image issues for a very long time. I seem to fluctuate between being moderately happy to being completely depressed and hating myself. Sometimes I honestly wonder why people talk to me because I see nothing good about myself. I'm annoying, an attention whore, and an idiot. I'm not good at anything that actually matters in life and I honestly wonder where I'm going to be in about 10 years. I try to be a good guy but life loves fucking me over for some reason. The only good thing about my life is that I have a family that loves me and who are pretty well off. I guess that's all you really need though. I just wish I was a better person and wasn't so damn lonely all the time.


 
HK, I think what is bringing you down and undermining your self-esteem/feeling of self-worth is a perceived lack of direction and lack of feeling of purpose, both go hand-in-hand with depression of most types.  It's not that you need to be a "better person" - that implies that you're *not* a good person already.


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## Wolf-Bone (Mar 3, 2011)

ITT, Tycho thinks he's some internet psychologist. "Mixed bag of odd". Great diagnosis there, House.


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## Tycho (Mar 3, 2011)

Wolf-Bone said:


> ITT, Tycho thinks he's some internet psychologist. "Mixed bag of odd". Great diagnosis there, House.


 
I don't know what the fuck else to say about you.  You've got some serious paranoiac tendencies and trust issues, a propensity for self-harm, wild fluctuations from acting like you're a demigod to acting like you're refuse discarded by society along the road of life, you self-medicate with substances that are arguably not ideal for your situation, you have a tenuous grasp on lucidity at times... I mean, damn.


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## Mentova (Mar 3, 2011)

Tycho said:


> HK, I think what is bringing you down and undermining your self-esteem/feeling of self-worth is a perceived lack of direction and lack of feeling of purpose, both go hand-in-hand with depression of most types.  It's not that you need to be a "better person" - that implies that you're *not* a good person already.


 I don't think I'm a good person though. I try to be, but I can be a total fucking asshole sometimes.

And you're pretty much right about the lack of direction and feeling of purpose. I pretty much don't do shit these days. After highschool I wanted to take a break because I wasn't sure what I wanted to study in college. Since then I've only had two jobs (though to be fair the first one was a really good gig and a great opportunity) and have been mostly unemployed. I really want to start college now since I decided I want to major in either psychology or history but I have no clue where to start. Not to mention I'm nervous about it because I'm not sure if I'm smart enough and the financial issues it'll bring.


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## MurcielagoMedula (Mar 3, 2011)

Wolf-Bone said:


> ITT, Tycho thinks he's some internet psychologist. "Mixed bag of odd". Great diagnosis there, House.


 
an attempt at a solution is more valuable than a lifetime of ridicule. 
He's trying to help and he has made no claims of being 100% positive, he is just making an educated guess.


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## Tycho (Mar 3, 2011)

Heckler & Koch said:


> I don't think I'm a good person though. I try to be, but I can be a total fucking asshole sometimes.
> 
> And you're pretty much right about the lack of direction and feeling of purpose. I pretty much don't do shit these days. After highschool I wanted to take a break because I wasn't sure what I wanted to study in college. Since then I've only had two jobs (though to be fair the first one was a really good gig and a great opportunity) and have been mostly unemployed. I really want to start college now since I decided I want to major in either psychology or history but I have no clue where to start. Not to mention I'm nervous about it because I'm not sure if I'm smart enough and the financial issues it'll bring.


 
Personally, I think you're fine as far as the whole "smart enough" thing goes.  The financial... a Pell grant might help, though since you're part of your parents' household and not able to technically say "I'm on my own" they'll shaft you a bit on the grant like they did with Ratte.


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## dinosaurdammit (Mar 3, 2011)

MurcielagoMedula said:


> an attempt at a solution is more valuable than a lifetime of ridicule.
> He's trying to help and he has made no claims of being 100% positive, he is just making an educated guess.


 
Psychologist do the same thing as nothing in the realm of psychology is certain.


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## MurcielagoMedula (Mar 3, 2011)

dinosaurdammit said:


> Psychologist do the same thing as nothing in the realm of psychology is certain.


 
Exactly, so I don't see the merit in ridiculing him.


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## Tycho (Mar 3, 2011)

MurcielagoMedula said:


> Exactly, so I don't see the merit in ridiculing him.


 
Wolf-Bone's always had a tendency to be pretty prickly and standoffish at times.  Nothing I'm not used to from him.  Nothing the forums aren't used to.


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## dinosaurdammit (Mar 3, 2011)

MurcielagoMedula said:


> Exactly, so I don't see the merit in ridiculing him.


 
I don't think he was ridiculing him in any way. WB *IS* odd, but that is what makes him his own person. I respect anyone that is their own person- odd thoughts, actions, or post.


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## MurcielagoMedula (Mar 3, 2011)

Tycho said:


> Wolf-Bone's always had a tendency to be pretty prickly and standoffish at times.  Nothing I'm not used to from him.  Nothing the forums aren't used to.






dinosaurdammit said:


> I don't think he was ridiculing him in any way. WB *IS* odd, but that is what makes him his own person. I respect anyone that is their own person- odd thoughts, actions, or post.


 I suppose so. Perhaps I am just unused to him.


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## Wolf-Bone (Mar 3, 2011)

Tycho said:


> I don't know what the fuck else to say about you.



Seeing as how we don't really know each other anymore, and haven't for quite a while, that's just a given. Which is why you probably shouldn't say anything.



			
				Tycho said:
			
		

> You've got some serious paranoiac tendencies and trust issues, a propensity for self-harm, wild fluctuations from acting like you're a demigod to acting like you're refuse discarded by society along the road of life, you self-medicate with substances that are arguably not ideal for your situation, you have a tenuous grasp on lucidity at times... I mean, damn.


 
How the hell do I self-harm? I've never even come close unless you count smoking. Nicotine patches are a substitute to _prevent_ me from smoking, and I only use those _when_ I'm afraid I might relapse, which happens with decreasing frequency as the months without a smoke drag on. I haven't smoked pot in about 7-8 months. I use nytol every once in a while because it helps me sleep yet isn't _actually_ the kind of expensive and, frankly, dangerous sleep aid that gets some people killed. And as for my tenuous grasp on lucidity, that's a lot more normal than you think. If anything, the oddballs are the ones _without_ that problem.


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## Tycho (Mar 3, 2011)

Wolf-Bone said:


> How the hell do I self-harm? I've never even come close unless you count smoking.


 
You've shared stories about putting on enough nicotine patches to kill a horse and you've had suicidal ideations/martyr complexes that you reflect in some of your art.  I made an inference.


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## MurcielagoMedula (Mar 3, 2011)

Wolf-Bone said:


> Seeing as how we don't really know each other anymore, and haven't for quite a while, that's just a given. Which is why you probably shouldn't say anything.
> 
> 
> 
> How the hell do I self-harm? I've never even come close unless you count smoking. Nicotine patches are a substitute to _prevent_ me from smoking, and I only use those _when_ I'm afraid I might relapse, which happens with decreasing frequency as the months without a smoke drag on. I haven't smoked pot in about 7-8 months. I use nytol every once in a while because it helps me sleep yet isn't _actually_ the kind of expensive and, frankly, dangerous sleep aid that gets some people killed. And as for my tenuous grasp on lucidity, that's a lot more normal than you think. If anything, the oddballs are the ones _without_ that problem.


 
I never liked the concept of normalcy. The people who are "normal" are the ones that snap and shoot up the office and crap. As to you Wolf-Bite, what made you quit smoking? (people tend to quit for different reasons)


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## Wolf-Bone (Mar 3, 2011)

Tycho said:


> You've shared stories about putting on enough nicotine patches to kill a horse and you've had suicidal ideations/martyr complexes that you reflect in some of your art.  I made an inference.


 
Dude, that was *two years ago!* The most nicotine I've used since then is a single 21mg -- _cut in half_. Also, I love, absolutely *love* you trying to psychoanalyse me through my art. Some of my _characters_ might be reflective of whatever complexes you think I have, but those are not the same as me. Just because I explore something and (I hope) understand it, doesn't mean I experience it first hand. I don't see art as my personal livejournal, unlike some.


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## Unsilenced (Mar 3, 2011)

MurcielagoMedula said:


> Let's hope to god an anti-furry psychologist never finds this thread XP


 
A what now?


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## MurcielagoMedula (Mar 3, 2011)

Unsilenced said:


> A what now?


 
Someone who hates furries could tae this thread as an excuse to link being furry to depression. Which is stupid since everyone has some level of depression, but I could see it being exploited.


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## Tycho (Mar 3, 2011)

MurcielagoMedula said:


> Someone who hates furries could tae this thread as an excuse to link being furry to depression. Which is stupid since everyone has some level of depression, but I could see it being exploited.


 
Not likely by anyone who has any amount of respect in the field of psychology.  This (furry and depression) is correlation, not causation.


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## MurcielagoMedula (Mar 3, 2011)

Tycho said:


> Not likely by anyone who has any amount of respect in the field of psychology.  This (furry and depression) is correlation, not causation.


 
Well we're talking about an anti-furry browsing our forums. I think their respect is pre-established as little to none.


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## Isen (Mar 3, 2011)

Pine said:


> Speaking of therapy, I do NOT recommend professionals. You pretty much just pay them to ask you about your past or have them throw suggestions of how to rearrange your current life, which I think makes depression a lot worse. Anti-depressants could work, but I don't trust those either (they would most likely be placebos).


I, on the other hand, have had plenty of positive, helpful, and enlightening sessions with the two therapists I have seen for the past months.  So I'd recommend that anyone suffering from depression try talk therapy and anti-depressants if they are recommended.  In mild to moderate depression, they might not be essential, but in severe depression they can give you your life back.  Experiment and see what works.  Don't be afraid to tell a therapist that you don't feel like his or her approach is working, and don't be afraid to switch therapists or ask your current one for a referral.  Be in control of your health care. 

Also, why do you would most likely be given placebos?


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## Wolf-Bone (Mar 3, 2011)

MurcielagoMedula said:


> I never liked the concept of normalcy. The people who are "normal" are the ones that snap and shoot up the office and crap. As to you Wolf-Bite, what made you quit smoking? (people tend to quit for different reasons)



K, my name isn't Wolf-Bite but I'm pretty sure that was supposed to be directed at me, so... First of all, you're absolutely right. Most of those school/workplace shooters are the ones you'd never expect, because they snap, and they snap hard. Guys like me, when we snap (if you can even call it that), we have pretty mild snaps. We often don't feel like we're coping very well, but when we take a step back and look at ourselves objectively, we find we actually cope about as well as anyone can under the circumstances, sometimes even better than others. And I quit smoking because I was tired of being broke, tired of being addicted, tired of having no energy, and tired of being tired. It's amazing what having a girlfriend will make a guy do, like give a crap again. Seriously, just looking at the price of a plane ticket, then doing the math of how many packs of smokes that is, comparing that to what I smoked which wasn't that much (roughly a pack per 3-4 days), you save so much money by not smoking it's retarded.



MurcielagoMedula said:


> Someone who hates furries could tae this thread as an excuse to link being furry to depression. Which is stupid since everyone has some level of depression, but I could see it being exploited.


 
I do think furrydom is a coping mechanism for a lot of people. It can be a healthy or unhealthy one, depending on the person. It's also really just one outlet for highly active imaginations. I think everyone has a different reason, really. In my case, like a lot of adopted people I literally look in the mirror sometimes and have moment where I feel like that person looking back at me isn't me. A character that I create, even though it's basically an unrealistic cartoon can feel more like me than a photo. I don't think that's _just_ because of my or anyone else's upbringing, or even an inherently bad thing, as long as someone like that doesn't develop a body dysmorphia to the point where they think they need to have "corrective" surgery on what's really a perfectly healthy face and body. Was Michael Jackson a furry? No. Did he have the same problem cranked up to 11? You better believe it.


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## Mentova (Mar 3, 2011)

MurcielagoMedula said:


> Well we're talking about an anti-furry browsing our forums. I think their respect is pre-established as little to none.


 Actually there are plenty of legit reasons to not like the furry fandom.

However any psychologist who thinks that "furry = depression" probably isn't very well respected in the field like tycho said.


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## ThisisGabe (Mar 3, 2011)

I was just severely depressed in high school. As of recently I've been just depressed for short spurts of time. I'm very self-critical, so when I identify some personal flaw and focus on it, I get depressed because I feel like I can't remove it.


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## CynicalCirno (Mar 3, 2011)

People won't contact me for depression discussions. I was told that my speech is always pessimistic, and I will always make people around me depressed.
Although, I usually tell myself that I can't get depressed because I am an observer, and I will always find enjoyment from others' happiness or pain.
I'm, like many, am not any kind of a psychologist or a psychiatrist, and I can't interpere others' emotions that easily. I can't force myself for others and so I can only see depression but not experience it. I am always under the impression that I have nothing to lose, and that I am the only one that truly exists.

I am neutral, and I can't feel depression that easily. Nobody would speak about it with me, therefore my knowledge about it is incredibly low.
I can't say anything further than that, I'll probably be wrong, if not already.


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## ShÃ nwÃ ng (Mar 3, 2011)

Depression sucks. I hate not being able to just "make myself happy" and I'm never clear on the triggers, for instance there are flare ups during the changing of the seasons, lack of rest, too much rest, having time to think, eating the wrong thing, eating at the wrong time, having a bad conversation, loneliness, and who knows what else. And that depression cycle feeds on the mood that depression creates and then there's a trigger and bam the cycle continues longer and worse. Being very self-conscious doesn't help, either. The worst period of depression is having a full night sleep whenever one of these cycles is going on because then I spend the next eight, ten, twelve, fifteen hours wishing I could just fall asleep and wake up content again, spending every minute moving like a slug and being almost incapable of doing simple tasks like tying my shoes and normal job functions. And forget about appetite, eating just about anything doesn't help either and in a lot of cases makes the episode worse. 

However, I think I must be doing something right because I haven't been on medication in years and I've only had a few serious attacks that I could count on one hand since going off. Talking about it and preparing for any upcoming stressful events helps tremendously when trying to get out of the cycle.



Pine said:


> Speaking of therapy, I do NOT recommend professionals. You pretty much just pay them to ask you about your past or have them throw suggestions of how to rearrange your current life, which I think makes depression a lot worse. Anti-depressants could work, but I don't trust those either (they would most likely be placebos).


 
During my episodes in college, a therapist helped out tremendously. Good ones are hard to come by, but if a therapist is only agitating without any building or some kind of positive progress then fuck yeah leave them in the trash. What sucks is that it usually takes five or six sessions to feel out whether or not they've been helpful or are going to be helpful and starting over with someone else is difficult.


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## Qoph (Mar 3, 2011)

I've been depressed.  I've been sent to the hospital because I said in detail how I was planning on killing myself.  Even recently I've really been pretty down, but it doesn't get to the point where I make plans to kill myself.  

I do hate bothering people about it though.  Like, I'm usually depressed for the same reasons, and they just tell me the same things, so I eventually get hesitant to talk to the same people every time I'm down.


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## Rouz (Mar 3, 2011)

Heckler & Koch said:


> I don't think I'm as depressed as the OP, but I've been dealing with low self esteem and self image issues for a very long time. I seem to fluctuate between being moderately happy to being completely depressed and hating myself. Sometimes I honestly wonder why people talk to me because I see nothing good about myself. I'm annoying, an attention whore, and an idiot. I'm not good at anything that actually matters in life and I honestly wonder where I'm going to be in about 10 years. I try to be a good guy but life loves fucking me over for some reason. The only good thing about my life is that I have a family that loves me and who are pretty well off. I guess that's all you really need though. I just wish I was a better person and wasn't so damn lonely all the time.


 Out of everyone who has posted I feel I relate the most to you, HK. I'm writing this in the car on the way home for sprngbreak. Which is depressing in itself, since I'll probably end up doing nothing,except go on here and be troll and sometimes post an actual thought.*

I don't think I'm a good person and I have low self-esteem. I'm a terrible person to be honest. I feel I've tried becoming something new, a different person, since junior year and now tI don't even know what I personal like anymore. I think I'm hated everywhere I go, and I'm always thinking I'm hated by everyone, and I've read tons of articles on reddit and other sites saying for the 10% you think about it, it probably in reality only happens >1%. I Even think I'm disliked on this forum, which shouldn't matter to me because you're just people who intact no personal connection with. Even the self assurance I try to create for myself fails. *I use to go to gay bars to raise my esteem because I'm a whore and like feeling good about myself, not that many hit on me, but as soon as I'm alone my self-esteem
Drops like the Dow in 2008. There is nothing I can do I feel to make my self-image of myself any better. I even use to go to*a shrink and talk about it.

Im an attention whore, I don't like to be in the limelight but I like knowing that someone took my ideas, thoughts and concerns seriously.*
I feel I let my family down on everyday. I compare myself to my brothers and I have nothing. It's not like I *even pity myself over it, i just realize ill
Never measure up and just be worthless and a disgrace. All of my achievements are nothing compared to what my brothers have done.*

When I told my mother I might be gay, I got a trip to the psychologist. That helped to build up my esteem so much, especially when i know deep down its true. I hate myself for it and it obvious. I went to a gay bar in Philly called Woodys and got hit on by the hottest guy there in my opinion, but i told him my girlfriend drug me down with her gay friend, which wasn't the case. 

If anyone reads this I'm
Sorry for the bad grammar and it's all smashed , I'm
Waiting in my car at a rest stop for my father.

On a final note, the one thing i have learned is suicide isn't the answer, because I see that theme in some posts. Yes, I known it cliche but it not. For as bad as things get, it can get worse. I just like to think it seems bad because it's your personal issues so they are personal to you.


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## Spatel (Mar 3, 2011)

Wish I had some deep philosophical insight I could drop with this post. I've got nothing unfortunately.

Stay frosty, OP. And everyone else that's feeling down ITT.


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## Grimfang (Mar 3, 2011)

Man.. Takun, I'm just glad that you found some help. If I knew you were in such a state, I would've actually tried to reach out to you, rather than just throwing a couple comments. Sorry.

I've been lacking an outlet myself since moving. I've been cutting myself off gradually from my negative coping mechanisms, and yet I can't seem to find positive things to replace them with. I quit smoking last summer. I've recently decided to never drink again. I eat better, get some exercise, etc..

eh, I have such a history with substance dependence.
The hardest things are maintaining a good perspective, staying confident in that, and just keeping my head up and away from negative coping mechanisms.
After moving just over a year ago, I've kind of experienced diminishing old contacts, and that in itself is depressing. I doubt they'd even believe that I've been as well behaved as I have been here, with the way I had been.. my memory's fucked up though. Maybe I wasn't as bad as I think, but I remember bad shit, lol.

While I'd like to be able to help others, I can't really give the best advice. I can only offer out of my own experience, sympathize, and help find resources to get some appropriate help if it's really a bad thing. That's one thing I wish I could go back and do: seek professional help, even if your parents wouldn't approve. You will almost certainly be better off in the long-run.


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## Tomias_Redford (Mar 3, 2011)

I'm fucking depressed all the time, but I feel really uncomfortable talking about it here, since well...  Last time I posted about my depression on here, all I got was flamed...and it just made me even more down, so I pretty much gave up on talking to people...


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## Wolf-Bone (Mar 3, 2011)

Tomias_Redford said:


> I'm fucking depressed all the time, but I feel really uncomfortable talking about it here, since well...  Last time I posted about my depression on here, all I got was flamed...and it just made me even more down, so I pretty much gave up on talking to people...


 
Not having seen your post and the reaction it got, I can't really claim to know anything but I've often gotten the distinct vibe when I got people shitting on me whenever I revealed any sort of weakness that they were just putting their pain on me because that's easier than really coping with it. I learned I was right at least a few times. You might've just been getting that kind of treatment.


----------



## MurcielagoMedula (Mar 3, 2011)

Wolf-Bone said:


> K, my name isn't Wolf-Bite but I'm pretty sure that was supposed to be directed at me, so... First of all, you're absolutely right. Most of those school/workplace shooters are the ones you'd never expect, because they snap, and they snap hard. Guys like me, when we snap (if you can even call it that), we have pretty mild snaps. We often don't feel like we're coping very well, but when we take a step back and look at ourselves objectively, we find we actually cope about as well as anyone can under the circumstances, sometimes even better than others. And I quit smoking because I was tired of being broke, tired of being addicted, tired of having no energy, and tired of being tired. It's amazing what having a girlfriend will make a guy do, like give a crap again. Seriously, just looking at the price of a plane ticket, then doing the math of how many packs of smokes that is, comparing that to what I smoked which wasn't that much (roughly a pack per 3-4 days), you save so much money by not smoking it's retarded.
> 
> 
> 
> I do think furrydom is a coping mechanism for a lot of people. It can be a healthy or unhealthy one, depending on the person. It's also really just one outlet for highly active imaginations. I think everyone has a different reason, really. In my case, like a lot of adopted people I literally look in the mirror sometimes and have moment where I feel like that person looking back at me isn't me. A character that I create, even though it's basically an unrealistic cartoon can feel more like me than a photo. I don't think that's _just_ because of my or anyone else's upbringing, or even an inherently bad thing, as long as someone like that doesn't develop a body dysmorphia to the point where they think they need to have "corrective" surgery on what's really a perfectly healthy face and body. Was Michael Jackson a furry? No. Did he have the same problem cranked up to 11? You better believe it.



 Well that's good, you have been through a lot, my stepdad smokes and has failed at quitting continuously, it's nice to see someone who is succeeding in breaking the habit.


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## Grimfang (Mar 3, 2011)

MurcielagoMedula said:


> Well that's good, you have been through a lot, my stepdad smokes and has failed at quitting continuously, it's nice to see someone who is succeeding in breaking the habit.


 
Definitely agree with this. Tobacco changed my world in that I actually learned what it means to be addicted to something. It's no joke, and you can't overstate just how difficult it will be to stop tobacco consumption after having begun.

edit: It definitely didn't help with depression either. I think it worsened my self-view in that it "became me". Eventually I was thinking that was all I deserved, or worse. Finally having quit was really empowering. It feels great to step away from that.


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## Bir (Mar 3, 2011)

I can't say that I'm depressed, because I think being depressed is having the gloomy feeling over everything, you know? I have several set things that make me depressed beyond comparison, and those things tear me apart every day, so in another way I suppose I can say I'm depressed.

I don't really know how to "not think about something." I can't really help what my mind thinks about. I can just be sitting somewhere, or walking down the sidewalk, or just drinking some soda, or playing a game, and randomly I'll think about something someone said. My mind is very good at exploding with pictures with everything anyone says on the drop of a pin, and when I remember someone saying something horrible I just.. imagine it during vulnerable times. I'm not sure if I'm allowed to post the details, but animal cruelty and misunderstanding are my biggest fears and troubles. I guess if anyone cares to know they can ask, but yeah. Oftentimes my depression forms itself in my dreams, creating something that could be mistaken for a nightmare, but isn't. 

On a more down to earth note though, my family is a pretty rough one to deal with. It's hard juggling the normality of my family with the normality of everything else. I just recently figured out the reason for a whole lot of things I used to downright hate my mother for, and now it kills me to know how horrible I was to assume she did these things on purpose. And now my only struggle is trying to get my little sisters to understand, because the way they act is a danger to her health literally, and they're too stupid to understand or to even listen to me, and that is my number one depression. 

I've had thoughts about what would happen if I died, but doesn't everyone? I mean, a creative mind thinks of everything, doesn't it? I dunno. I can't consider myself entirely depressed, but I definitely know I'm troubled.

I'm not really sure what else to say. : /


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## Skittle (Mar 3, 2011)

I have a history of depression and such but, I have severe Borderline Personality Disorder and mild to severe depression so, kinda makes sense.

At the current moment I am fighting back a breakdown. A lot of shit is going on in my life and it is piling up and starting to eat away at me. I recently got back from my trip to Canada so I am lonely, missing my boyfriend, etc. I'm having a lot of issues with my body and my identity. Not to mention I have no idea where I am going to be living over the summer, how I am going to pay for college, food, apartment, etc. when I move to Canada to go to school if I get accepted, etc.

:c


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## Bir (Mar 3, 2011)

Skittle said:


> I have a history of depression and such but, I have severe Borderline Personality Disorder and mild to severe depression so, kinda makes sense.
> 
> At the current moment I am fighting back a breakdown. A lot of shit is going on in my life and it is piling up and starting to eat away at me. I recently got back from my trip to Canada so I am lonely, missing my boyfriend, etc. I'm having a lot of issues with my body and my identity. Not to mention I have no idea where I am going to be living over the summer, how I am going to pay for college, food, apartment, etc. when I move to Canada to go to school if I get accepted, etc.
> 
> :c


 
I like to think that everything will unfold as life goes on. I'm tired of trying to figure out my future. I'm spending so much time thinking about what's going to happen tomorrow or in five years, and I'm ignoring everything that's going on now. Those kinds of things would cause so much stress on me. Cloudy is my let-out Comrade, I tell her everything that goes on, and she always tells me it's going to be alright. 

I mean, planning is a very good thing, but if the planning is getting you nowhere, then just try to let it all just... happen. At least, that's my own opinion.


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## Skittle (Mar 3, 2011)

Bir said:


> I like to think that everything will unfold as life goes on. I'm tired of trying to figure out my future. I'm spending so much time thinking about what's going to happen tomorrow or in five years, and I'm ignoring everything that's going on now. Those kinds of things would cause so much stress on me. Cloudy is my let-out Comrade, I tell her everything that goes on, and she always tells me it's going to be alright.
> 
> I mean, planning is a very good thing, but if the planning is getting you nowhere, then just try to let it all just... happen. At least, that's my own opinion.


 I kind of need to plan for this kind of stuff. I can't just go to Canada and go: ...Fuck.
I'm letting the summer housing thing go for now most of the time and focusing on getting my stuff to the college.


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## Schwimmwagen (Mar 3, 2011)

If we can make this a bit more of a rant/whine thread, I'll just say I am currently depressed because I feel that not many people are reaching out to me while I need it, but they don't know because I keep it to myself. My life won't see any "real-life" change that I _want_ until *at least* 3 years.


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## Deo (Mar 3, 2011)

Pine said:


> Speaking of therapy, I do NOT recommend professionals. You pretty much just pay them to ask you about your past or have them throw suggestions of how to rearrange your current life, which I think makes depression a lot worse. Anti-depressants could work, but I don't trust those either (they would most likely be placebos).


 That's not true. Professionals are helpful, not for everyone, but a majority of people benefit immensely from therapy with a professional. Also the drugs you are given are what they are. It is illegal for a pharmacy to sell improperly labeled drugs. There is absolutely no chance that your medications could be placebos. That's just paranoid.


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## Skittle (Mar 3, 2011)

Deo said:


> That's not true. Professionals are helpful, not for everyone, but a majority of people benefit immensely from therapy with a professional. Also the drugs you are given are what they are. It is illegal for a pharmacy to sell improperly labeled drugs. There is absolutely no chance that your medications could be placebos. That's just paranoid.


 I've benefited so much from therapy AND medications. Yea, it was hell going through 5 anti-depressants all with nasty side effects until I found the right medication but it has helped me from hitting rock bottom. It has helped me with having fewer and less severe breakdowns, therapy has helped me with coping with my emotions instead of breaking down, cutting, etc. It has helped me deal with my suicidal thoughts/urges, etc. Therapy has been nothing but helpful for me. I used to have the same thought about therapy and all until I was dragged kicking and screaming to it. Now, I highly recommend it. You just need to find a therapist you click with.


----------



## Volkodav (Mar 3, 2011)

Takun said:


> How many people here have been severely depressed?  A few days ago I deleted everything and was pretty much preparing to do some really dumb shit but some good friends talked me out of it.  If you've never felt that way, I can imagine it is hard to relate.  I feel it's really easy to blow people off as attention whoring when they really do have a problem.  If someone does come to you, I ask that you take it seriously though.  I feel bad because last night I bugged probably 10 people on IM and my phone at 3 in the morning because I felt like I hit rock bottom.  Have you felt this way FAF?
> 
> Also I'm back, for a bit.  Things seem to be picking up but I skipped class monday and Tuesday I was basically on the edge the whole day.  It's quite a scary experience.  I'm rambling and don't know how to continue this thread, but I'd like do see if we can get a serious thread going on here.  No one should have to lose a friend to depression.


I know exactly what you're talking about and I go through it all the time, almost every day.


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## Plague Wolfen (Mar 3, 2011)

MurcielagoMedula said:


> Let's hope to god an anti-furry psychologist never finds this thread XP


 
Ha! It would be one long rant of how everyone is sick in the head...transspecies...blah blah blah...insert other dumb stuff as needed.


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## Deo (Mar 3, 2011)

Plague Wolfen said:


> Ha! It would be one long rant of how everyone is sick in the head...transspecies...blah blah blah...insert other dumb stuff as needed.


 Goddamn. Do you children not understand what psychologists are? They are there to diagnose, treat, and support the patient. I guarantee you that no psychologist would ever give a damn about furry and would never remark on it negatively or "blah blah blah ... insert other dumb stuff as needed". GTFO.


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## Skittle (Mar 3, 2011)

Deo said:


> Goddamn. Do you children not understand what psychologists are? They are there to diagnose, treat, and support the patient. I guarantee you that no psychologist would ever give a damn about furry and would never remark on it negatively or "blah blah blah ... insert other dumb stuff as needed". GTFO.


 Slaming the this button so hard I'm surprised my mouse isn't broken.


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## Wolf-Bone (Mar 3, 2011)

Deo said:


> Goddamn. Do you children not understand what psychologists are? They are there to diagnose, treat, and support the patient. I guarantee you that no psychologist would ever give a damn about furry and would never remark on it negatively or "blah blah blah ... insert other dumb stuff as needed". GTFO.


 
If anything, they might be _too_ open minded about it. I'm hoping if they saw it was part of the problem or at least not helping, they'd make that understood for the patient.


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## Mentova (Mar 3, 2011)

Deo said:


> Goddamn. Do you children not understand what psychologists are? They are there to diagnose, treat, and support the patient. I guarantee you that no psychologist would ever give a damn about furry and would never remark on it negatively or "blah blah blah ... insert other dumb stuff as needed". GTFO.


 But deo you see those evil psychologists just don't understand us furries and they would think we're all crazy so-


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## Plague Wolfen (Mar 3, 2011)

Deo said:


> Goddamn. Do you children not understand what psychologists are? They are there to diagnose, treat, and support the patient. I guarantee you that no psychologist would ever give a damn about furry and would never remark on it negatively or "blah blah blah ... insert other dumb stuff as needed". GTFO.



Yes I do know what psychologists are as I am one. And you forget that no matter the title they are human as well. Their profession does not prevent them from having the negative stereotypes that general society does. Do you know how many psychologists to this day treat homosexuality as a disease that needs to be rectified?


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## Mentova (Mar 3, 2011)

Plague Wolfen said:


> Yes I do know what psychologists are as I am one. And you forget that no matter the title they are human as well. Their profession does not prevent them from having the negative stereotypes that general society does. Do you know how many psychologists to this day treat homosexuality as a disease that needs to be rectified?


 You're forgetting that most people don't even know what the furry fandom is in the first place. Not to mention the stereotype is just weird sex which a psychologist probably wouldn't be offended about.


----------



## Skittle (Mar 3, 2011)

Plague Wolfen said:


> Yes I do know what psychologists are as I am one. And you forget that no matter the title they are human as well. Their profession does not prevent them from having the negative stereotypes that general society does. Do you know how many psychologists to this day treat homosexuality as a disease that needs to be rectified?


 No offense, I am gonna call bullshit on you being a psychologist until you provide proof saying otherwise.
Psychologists are human yes and some do hold biases but that isn't the majority, that is the minority.
Psychologists still discriminate against transgender people. They still say people like me with BPD, are lost causes.
They are the minority. That is why if you have issues with one psychologist, YOU FIND ANOTHER.
It's not like you are stuck with one psychologist and only that one forever.


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## Plague Wolfen (Mar 3, 2011)

Skittle said:


> No offense, I am gonna call bullshit on you being a psychologist until you provide proof saying otherwise.
> Psychologists are human yes and some do hold biases but that isn't the majority, that is the minority.
> Psychologists still discriminate against transgender people. They still say people like me with BPD, are lost causes.
> They are the minority. That is why if you have issues with one psychologist, YOU FIND ANOTHER.
> It's not like you are stuck with one psychologist and only that one forever.


 
I never said at any point it was the majority. But the Godly understanding of everything types are not either. This is why it generally takes a bit of effort for people to find one they are personally comfortable with.


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## Mentova (Mar 3, 2011)

Skittle said:


> It's not like you are stuck with one psychologist and only that one forever.


 If that was true I'd feel awful for the people stuck with him. :V


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## Plague Wolfen (Mar 3, 2011)

Heckler & Koch said:


> You're forgetting that most people don't even know what the furry fandom is in the first place. Not to mention the stereotype is just weird sex which a psychologist probably wouldn't be offended about.



Actually you'd be surprised. It's becoming more and more common knowledge (or they are at least becoming more aware if it's existence even if improperly informed of what it is) in the field simply because of parents bringing it up as a misdirected concern in the case of an adolescent that is being sent in for therapy.


----------



## Blutide (Mar 3, 2011)

Unsilenced said:


> Depression sucks. Medication seems to work though. At least for me.


 
I workout, working out helps too.

But I guess people find a lot of different ways to deal with it. I wonder how much depression has increased in recent years, I would guess a bit.


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## Mentova (Mar 3, 2011)

Plague Wolfen said:


> Actually you'd be surprised. It's becoming more and more common knowledge (or they are at least becoming more aware if it's existence even if improperly informed of what it is) in the field simply because of parents bringing it up as a misdirected concern in the case of an adolescent that is being sent in for therapy.


 I'm not calling you a liar but I find this hard to believe.


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## Plague Wolfen (Mar 3, 2011)

Heckler & Koch said:


> I'm not calling you a liar but I find this hard to believe.



Again, you'd be surprised. As it stands now it's basically going the way of misconceptions like someone dressing goth must be why they are depressed. Parents who don't know how to handle a child with mental illness or that lack the proper understanding of what a certain mental illness actually is have a tendency to attach blame to any thing or any behavior they deem out of the ordinary as the culprit.


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## Plague Wolfen (Mar 3, 2011)

InsaneNight said:


> I workout, working out helps too.
> 
> But I guess people find a lot of different ways to deal with it. I wonder how much depression has increased in recent years, I would guess a bit.



Numbers have gone up. Partially due to general changes in society, partially due to depression among other illnesses being more recognized. It wasn't that long ago that schizophrenic patients were instantaneously and permanently locked in institutes and family members would just sort of act like "nothing ever happened". Homosexuals were treated as broken and in need of fixing. Depression even was regarded as something you "just get over". It hasn't been that long that it's been recognized as a serious problem, with many different forms and types.


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## Volkodav (Mar 3, 2011)

Deo said:


> Goddamn. Do you children not understand what psychologists are? They are there to diagnose, treat, and support the patient. I guarantee you that no psychologist would ever give a damn about furry and would never remark on it negatively or "blah blah blah ... insert other dumb stuff as needed". GTFO.


 
Some of us dont want to go to psychologists because we dont trust them


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## Cam (Mar 3, 2011)

I got diagnosed with depression when I was about 11. Depression ran through my mom side of the family, through almost every one of her relatives really. The bad thing Is I never learned how to express negative emotions. It's _incredibly_ rare to ever see me in any kind of negative emotion; I don't let people see me sad, mad, depressed, anything.

For obvious reasons I'm not going to go into details about certain things, but I also do suffer from other things that only intensify depression's symptoms. I.e. Paranoid schizophrenia & PTSD


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## Plague Wolfen (Mar 3, 2011)

Clayton said:


> Some of us dont want to go to psychologists because we dont trust them



That's definitely a valid reason. Regardless of the numbers of good versus bad doctors, some people just can't get comfortable through no fault of their own or the doctors. There is no right or wrong doctor for them. It's like how a few posts back someone mentioned the idea of not wanting to talk here because it's personal info. Granted, this being a forum with many people is much different, but the point is sometimes it's weird to get past that "this is my business" barrier with who, title aside, is a total stranger.


----------



## Nekomimi (Mar 3, 2011)

A depression thread for FAF should be stickied.
It seems like a lot of FAF members are depressed...


----------



## Rouz (Mar 3, 2011)

Nekomimi said:


> A depression thread for FAF should be stickied.
> It seems like a lot of FAF members are depressed...


 
Furry=gay=depressed. This makes sense.


----------



## Wolf-Bone (Mar 3, 2011)

Plague Wolfen said:


> Again, you'd be surprised. As it stands now it's basically going the way of misconceptions like someone dressing goth must be why they are depressed. Parents who don't know how to handle a child with mental illness or that lack the proper understanding of what a certain mental illness actually is have a tendency to attach blame to any thing or any behavior they deem out of the ordinary as the culprit.


 
This is pretty much why I never got help. I was adopted inherently, fundamentally wrong as a human being, on every level, and it was never them or even really me. It was always that damn rap music, those damn video games, that damn wrestling, those damn action movies, and of course, that damn "werewolf stuff" (furry/therianthropy). Never mind the fact around the same time I discovered that, my mom was reading Buffy fan-fiction, "for the stories", of course.


----------



## Plague Wolfen (Mar 3, 2011)

Wolf-Bone said:


> This is pretty much why I never got help. I was adopted inherently, fundamentally wrong as a human being, on every level, and it was never them or even really me. It was always that damn rap music, those damn video games, that damn wrestling, those damn action movies, and of course, that damn "werewolf stuff" (furry/therianthropy). Never mind the fact around the same time I discovered that, my mom was reading Buffy fan-fiction, "for the stories", of course.



I'm sorry to hear that. That's almost as bad as ignoring the real issue altogether. Granted I don't know you in person, but at least you seem very level-headed and aware of things. I mean this in instances such as your previously mentioned "people shitting on you for opening up" statement. Most would take it to heart and tear themselves apart whereas you recognize that anyone taking the time to respond that way to a legitimate pouring of feelings, has most likely got some issues of their own they're dealing with.

That's why as much as I don't like it these things don't surprise me. It's been around for awhile, only the "offending item or behavior" in question changes with time.


----------



## Deo (Mar 3, 2011)

Plague Wolfen said:


> Yes I do know what psychologists are as I am one.


BULL FUCKING SHIT. You are so goddamn full of it. No psychologist is as retarded as you are about psychology, hell you describe it as being "sick in the head". Bull fucking shit you sack of lies.



Plague Wolfen said:


> And you forget that no matter the title they are human as well. Their profession does not prevent them from having the negative stereotypes that general society does. Do you know how many psychologists to this day treat homosexuality as a disease that needs to be rectified?


Yeah they do. And as people they have every right to their opinions. But hey, guess what, as professionals they put the patient first and don't voice their opinions.


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## Volkodav (Mar 3, 2011)

Deo said:


> Yeah they do. And as people they have every right to their opinions. But hey, guess what, as professionals they put the patient first and don't voice their opinions.


 Some professionals act like they'll keep secrets but in the end they harass you and your family for years and try to jam pills down your throat.


----------



## Scotty1700 (Mar 3, 2011)

I'm with Deo on this one...I call shenanigans. :|


----------



## Wolf-Bone (Mar 3, 2011)

Plague Wolfen said:


> I'm sorry to hear that. That's almost as bad as ignoring the real issue altogether. Granted I don't know you in person, but at least you seem very level-headed and aware of things. I mean this in instances such as your previously mentioned "people shitting on you for opening up" statement. Most would take it to heart and tear themselves apart whereas you recognize that anyone taking the time to respond that way to a legitimate pouring of feelings, has most likely got some issues of their own they're dealing with.
> 
> That's why as much as I don't like it these things don't surprise me. It's been around for awhile, only the "offending item or behavior" in question changes with time.


 
Well, what I've noticed is people sometimes might say something stupid on here or develop a reputation (deservedly or not) and that makes them like other people's personal punching bag. I've been both put in that position and guilty of doing that thing myself. I try not to as much lately. Though I think it's a good sign when, for example we come to the defense of someone we'd normally make fun of when someone seriously crosses the line by bringing that shit to them on Facebook, and a bad sign when we put it bluntly "we're just fucking with you" and they still don't get that's all we're doing.

By the way, to certain internet psychologists, here's an example of how little you really know and can predict the people you only talk to online. Right now, I'm incredibly fucking pissed. I was just working on a drawing which I'd all but finished the first pass of, and my computer just died before I'd saved. So now my week-long streak of a full page a day is broken. How obvious is it based on anything I've said so far?

Obviously we all have some "need" in being here if we're here. The games people play to dance around facing those needs or to avoid even identifying them are what piss me off.


----------



## Deo (Mar 3, 2011)

Clayton said:


> Some of us dont want to go to psychologists because we dont trust them


 Like I said before a psychologist or therapist is helpful to some people, but not to everyone.


----------



## Volkodav (Mar 3, 2011)

Deo said:


> Like I said before a psychologist or therapist is helpful to some people, but not to everyone.


 
I was mostly getting at the fact that not all psychologists are professional or put the patients needs/feelings first.


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## Tomias_Redford (Mar 3, 2011)

I get depressed because of the constant bullying on this forums, I still don't know what I'm doing wrong, all I wanted was to fit in with the rest of the users on here...


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## Volkodav (Mar 3, 2011)

Tomias_Redford said:


> I get depressed because of the constant bullying on this forums, I still don't know what I'm doing wrong, all I wanted was to fit in with the rest of the users on here...


 
Why do you care what angry furries think about you on a furry forum dedicated to angry furries
people can call me weird, creepy, sketchy, stupid, etc and I dont give a fuck because in the end, it doesn't effect how I live my life.
"ur dumb' doesn't kill my cats so i have exactly 0 fucs to give


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## Mentova (Mar 3, 2011)

This thread went to hell fast.


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## Wolf-Bone (Mar 3, 2011)

Tomias_Redford said:


> all I wanted was to fit in with the rest of the users on here...


 
Well there's the problem right there!


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## Enwon (Mar 3, 2011)

Tomias_Redford said:


> I get depressed because of the constant bullying on this forums, I still don't know what I'm doing wrong, all I wanted was to fit in with the rest of the users on here...


You know, it's kind of insulting to people who actually suffer from depression and bullying alike to enter this thread and BAWWW about how you're depressed because people on the internet are mean to you.

You can always log off, you know.


----------



## Deo (Mar 3, 2011)

Heckler & Koch said:


> This thread went to hell fast.


 I'M A DOCTOR HERE'S MY INERNET DEGREE





IT'S LEGIT
BELEEEEEEVE MEEEEEEE


----------



## Wolf-Bone (Mar 3, 2011)

Deo said:


> I'M A DOCTOR HERE'S MY INERNET DEGREE
> 
> 
> 
> ...


 
you'd think online universities would at least give larger, higher resolution diplomas.


----------



## Tomias_Redford (Mar 3, 2011)

Wolf-Bone said:


> you'd think online universities would at least give larger, higher resolution diplomas.



This is the recession, you'll be lucky if your University even gives you a empty can to shit in, let alone a high resolution diploma XDD


----------



## jcfynx (Mar 3, 2011)

Really? When did this become SoFurry?

"Depression" is not when you're feeling sad on the Internet.

Takun, I thought you were cool.


----------



## Mentova (Mar 3, 2011)

Deo said:


> I'M A DOCTOR HERE'S MY INERNET DEGREE
> 
> 
> 
> ...


 Woah your name is really Deo Vacuus huh?

Well that looks legit can you diagnose me with all the disoders I pretend to have on the internet for attention?


----------



## Tycho (Mar 3, 2011)

Heckler & Koch said:


> Who your name is really Deo Vacuus huh?
> 
> Well that looks legit can you diagnose me with all the disoders I pretend to have on the internet for attention?


 
It's a philosophy doctorate degree, so I think you're hosed on that one.


----------



## Plague Wolfen (Mar 3, 2011)

Clayton said:


> I was mostly getting at the fact that not all psychologists are professional or put the patients needs/feelings first.



This.


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## Mentova (Mar 3, 2011)

Tycho said:


> It's a philosophy doctorate degree, so I think you're hosed on that one.


 Hey it's still a degree. I don't have to say what kind of degree the person who diagnosed me had!


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## Tycho (Mar 3, 2011)

Heckler & Koch said:


> Hey it's still a degree. I don't have to say what kind of degree the person who diagnosed me had!


 
Oh, OK then.  I have a degree too.







Just kidding, I use Right Guard.


----------



## Pine (Mar 4, 2011)

I'm glad this went off topic fast, I was about to suggest making a therapy circle in the form of a chat room, but we all know how interesting that would be :V


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## Deo (Mar 4, 2011)

Plague Wolfen said:


> This.


 You still are full of bullshit lies.


----------



## Rouz (Mar 4, 2011)

I think I know what ails you all

It must
be
LUPUS


----------



## Tycho (Mar 4, 2011)

Rouz said:


> I think I know what ails you all
> 
> It must
> be
> LUPUS


 
GO AWAY.


----------



## Mentova (Mar 4, 2011)

Rouz said:


> I think I know what ails you all
> 
> It must
> be
> LUPUS


 My mom has lupus. :|


----------



## Rouz (Mar 4, 2011)

Heckler & Koch said:


> My mom has lupus. :|


 
If that true I'm sorry. :c


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## Zaraphayx (Mar 4, 2011)

Tomias_Redford said:


> I get depressed because of the constant bullying on this forums, I still don't know what I'm doing wrong, all I wanted was to fit in with the rest of the users on here...


 
There are people with real problems in their real lives that have real consequences.

And then there is stuff like this.

This was a great thread in theory, but in practice it's full of baww and e-psychologists :/


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## BRN (Mar 4, 2011)

Zaraphayx said:


> This was a great thread in theory, but *it was posted on a furry forum *:/



Fixed that for you.


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## jcfynx (Mar 4, 2011)

Zaraphayx said:


> This was a great thread in theory


 
I'm going to have to stop you there, unless your idea of a great thread is animal teenagers looking for asspats from Internet strangers because they are not capable of interfacing with the real world. ):

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think there are other places better suited to your needs.


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## Volkodav (Mar 4, 2011)

Y'all need to shut the fuck up or get back on topic. This was a serious thread about a serious issue and you guys are fucking around, flashing off fake diplomas. It's ridiculous.


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## Pine (Mar 4, 2011)

Clayton said:


> Y'all need to shut the fuck up or get back on topic. This was a serious thread about a serious issue and you guys are fucking around, flashing off fake diplomas. It's ridiculous.


 
This thread is making me more depressed with each post and I'm getting closer to killing myself with a jellyfish.

The Fresh Prince did it, so it's cool, right? Is somebody going to feel sorry for me now? HEY!? SOMEBODY!?


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## barbie27 (Mar 4, 2011)

It does in fact it really relieves depression. Expressing oneself regarding their problems to someone is really helpful. I learned that during my Psych affiliation.


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## Tabasco (Mar 4, 2011)

I've been so miserable these past few weeks that I'm having frequent anxiety attacks and trouble eating/sleeping. I actually have reason to be depressed, though. :/


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## Grimfang (Mar 4, 2011)

So, maybe another angle on this: instead of only stating your problem, what about progress? Even if you think you're the worst person in the world, I'm pretty sure there's plenty you're discrediting yourself from.

It took me some 5 and a half years of agonizing in wishy-washy guilt before I finally stopped with cigarettes. At the very least, even on my bad days, I know I'm not back to smoking, and that's a good thing to keep in mind.
It's good to focus on what doesn't make you feel like shit, like your aspirations, plans, what you're going to have for dinner tonight.. whatever it is.


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## jcfynx (Mar 4, 2011)

Clayton said:


> Y'all need to shut the fuck up or get back on topic.


 
Well aren't you just the HBIC of the FAF.



Pine said:


> This thread is making me more depressed with each post and I'm getting closer to killing myself with a jellyfish.



Let's kill ourselves together so we don't have to remember this miscarriage ever again.


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## Milo (Mar 4, 2011)

Grimfang said:


> So, maybe another angle on this: instead of only stating your problem, what about progress? Even if you think you're the worst person in the world, I'm pretty sure there's plenty you're discrediting yourself from.
> 
> It took me some 5 and a half years of agonizing in wishy-washy guilt before I finally stopped with cigarettes. At the very least, even on my bad days, I know I'm not back to smoking, and that's a good thing to keep in mind.
> It's good to focus on what doesn't make you feel like shit, like your aspirations, plans, what you're going to have for dinner tonight.. whatever it is.


 
yay! congratulations grim :>


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## Schwimmwagen (Mar 4, 2011)

Does anyone ever feel depressed so that they feel some sort of physical ache on them or something? As if there's an empty space or whatever.


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## Heimdal (Mar 4, 2011)

Tomias_Redford said:


> I get depressed because of the constant bullying on this forums, I still don't know what I'm doing wrong, all I wanted was to fit in with the rest of the users on here...


 
I'm so awesome at everything I do that, frankly, it's just so depressing. Everybody important in life loves me, and every time I try I just wind up succeeding. It's just... Ugh, the pain of it all. It's too much!

Does anybody else feel the same way? What can we do? Is there help? :V

Depression is hard.


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## Tycho (Mar 4, 2011)

Gibby said:


> Does anyone ever feel depressed so that they feel some sort of physical ache on them or something? As if there's an empty space or whatever.


 
Yeah, manifests more as a headache and a REALLY tired feeling for me when it gets bad sometimes.


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## Schwimmwagen (Mar 4, 2011)

Tycho said:


> Yeah, manifests more as a headache and a REALLY tired feeling for me when it gets bad sometimes.


 
I feel it in my chest most of the time. :/ I get the tired "dead" feeling, too. I kinda feel it in my shoulders, too, for some reason. I need a hug. :'v


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## Mentova (Mar 4, 2011)

Tycho said:


> Yeah, manifests more as a headache and a REALLY tired feeling for me when it gets bad sometimes.


 I get like that too. I guess it's common.


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## Milo (Mar 4, 2011)

I rarely ever get headaches, but the back of my head goes numb whenever I do strenuous activities. weird...


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## Pine (Mar 4, 2011)

Gibby said:


> Does anyone ever feel depressed so that they feel some sort of physical ache on them or something? As if there's an empty space or whatever.


 
I felt that all day at work today. My friend's funeral was today and I missed it because of my shift.
I almost had a mental breakdown in the freezer and I had this "empty space" feeling in my body.


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## Tycho (Mar 5, 2011)

Pine said:


> I felt that all day at work today. My friend's funeral was today and I missed it because of my shift.
> I almost had a mental breakdown in the freezer and I had this "empty space" feeling in my body.


 


/hug


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## Mozz (Mar 5, 2011)

One might think due to my living conditions, I have no reason to be depressed at all, and I agree. I have a loving family, live in a nice house, and currently in college. But yet, I feel depressed almost every day. I have very severe social anxiety, and this affects my whole life. I have enormous trouble talking to new people, I can't hold down a job, I have no friends I can go and hang out with, I'm very lonesome and I fear that because I've been that way for so long, I can't live any other way.

I can't see myself in the future, having a partner, being independent, enjoying life, and it haunts my every day. I try my best to be social, to muster up the courage to meet new people, but it never goes well. Sometimes I feel like just giving up, but I hope that one day things will get better.


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## jeff (Mar 5, 2011)

Mozz said:


> One might think due to my living conditions, I have no reason to be depressed at all, and I agree. I have a loving family, live in a nice house, and currently in college. But yet, I feel depressed almost every day. I have very severe social anxiety, and this affects my whole life. I have enormous trouble talking to new people, I can't hold down a job, I have no friends I can go and hang out with, I'm very lonesome and I fear that because I've been that way for so long, I can't live any other way.
> 
> I can't see myself in the future, having a partner, being independent, enjoying life, and it haunts my every day. I try my best to be social, to muster up the courage to meet new people, but it never goes well. Sometimes I feel like just giving up, but I hope that one day things will get better.



things that work for me, etc:

i have really bad social anxiety but when faced with a future where i had absolutely no fun i decided to just start talking
and while i sweat profusely, and second guess everything i say after i say it, and pretty much spend entire days examining single word responses i made to people over nothing of consequence im still much better off than before i overcame the singular step in fear

drugs help too
after i took ayahuasca the ability to talk to people came a lot easier

one thing thats stupid but i promise is helpful is to just watch every crappy tv show, read every magazine, stay in popular culture it really helped me during high school (although, i fell back into a funk after high school)
afterwards i made enough interesting friends that i stopped having to say embarrassing things or pay sole attention to things i found incredibly uninteresting or fake my enthusiasm for someones love of some shitty band

another thing to do is to always make yourself available and do anything anyone suggests like when they want to go somewhere you hate just go just keep going
eventually you find people that share your actual interests and life gets better for a while

it wont always be good but you wont have to dream up better futures than the ones youll start to see on the horizon

but im not going to lie you will always be deeply fucking paranoid of everything you say, do, think
i can barely get haircuts or go shopping by myself because im afraid of the small talk interaction or having people scrutinize me
but it gets easier to deal with the paranoia the more experience you have with it

accept vanity if possible buy as many clothes as possible spend all your money on making yourself look better than others 
develop a superiority complex but never forget how absurd what youre doing is
know how to deal with any contingency like if you get hit by a water balloon in the middle of a mall spend entire days dwelling on it


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## Mozz (Mar 5, 2011)

Shartblaster said:


> things that work for me, etc:
> 
> i have really bad social anxiety but when faced with a future where i had absolutely no fun i decided to just start talking
> and while i sweat profusely, and second guess everything i say after i say it, and pretty much spend entire days examining single word responses i made to people over nothing of consequence im still much better off than before i overcame the singular step in fear
> ...


 
Thank you, that's very helpful advice  I can see your going through a similar situation as I am, and when the opportunity comes, I'll give your suggestions a try.


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## Volkodav (Mar 5, 2011)

Gibby said:


> Does anyone ever feel depressed so that they feel some sort of physical ache on them or something? As if there's an empty space or whatever.


 
I have it right now. 
Feels hard to breathe 
but its stress


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## Torrijos-sama (Mar 5, 2011)

Takun, whenever i'm feeling down, I go for a walk, take a smoke, or go do some back-breaking hard labour. 

Of all pointless things, hard labour is the most fulfilling, because you get a good feeling if you've actually accomplished something. For me, i'm turning the cedar trees behind my home into a German forest, because i'm cutting off the branches towards the base so that they're forced to grow up.


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## Volkodav (Mar 6, 2011)

JesusFish said:


> Takun, whenever i'm feeling down, I go for a walk, take a smoke, or go do some back-breaking hard labour.
> 
> Of all pointless things, hard labour is the most fulfilling, because you get a good feeling if you've actually accomplished something. For me, i'm turning the cedar trees behind my home into a German forest, because i'm cutting off the branches towards the base so that they're forced to grow up.


 
Very nice, got any pics?


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## Wolf-Bone (Mar 6, 2011)

Clayton said:


> Very nice, got any pics?


 
Ew...


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## Paul'o'fox (Mar 6, 2011)

JesusFish said:


> Takun, whenever i'm feeling down, I go for a walk, take a smoke, or go do some back-breaking hard labour.
> 
> Of all pointless things, hard labour is the most fulfilling, because you get a good feeling if you've actually accomplished something. For me, i'm turning the cedar trees behind my home into a German forest, because i'm cutting off the branches towards the base so that they're forced to grow up.


 This is so true, you know the best thing for depression is excercise?


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## Volkodav (Mar 6, 2011)

Wolf-Bone said:


> Ew...


 
..I was asking for pics of his lil tree project thing.


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## Wolf-Bone (Mar 6, 2011)

Clayton said:


> ..I was asking for pics of his lil tree project thing.


 
... Well, 34 says literally _everything_, so *shrug* ayight.


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## Branch (Mar 6, 2011)

Paul'o'fox said:


> This is so true, you know the best thing for depression is excercise?


 lest the depression is comorbid with anxiety disorder.... >.<

putting things back on track, i play the _double depression_ card. and roll a 9.


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## Bambi (Mar 6, 2011)

Cardio is a good thing for stress.

Also? Watching MythBusters is a great way to alleviate stress. ^^


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## Leafblower29 (Mar 6, 2011)

I've never felt depressed. It's unfortunate people do though.


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## Paul'o'fox (Mar 6, 2011)

Leafblower29 said:


> I've never felt depressed. It's unfortunate people do though.


 I can't really understand it myself but I still feel sorry for those who have to go through it.


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## Scotty1700 (Mar 6, 2011)

I'm going through a bit of a rut myself...The gaping hole in my heart is aching again and it's sucking :c

Edit: Still sucksssss :[


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## Torrijos-sama (Mar 6, 2011)

Paul'o'fox said:


> This is so true, you know the best thing for depression is excercise?



Endorphins, mayne. Endogenous Morphine.


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## Kyle Necronomicon (Mar 7, 2011)

I have been depressed before but my friends helped me out of it, most of the time I'm flat lining in emotions then I randomly jump in a direction for a day then go back to flat lining. I don't think it's a good thing especially when I get homicidal since i want to be a bio-engineer :/ also I have a friend with severe constant depression and her boyfriend helps her out of it a lot so I think that relationships really help.


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## Milo (Mar 7, 2011)

Kyle Necronomicon said:


> I think that relationships really help.


 
well I hope so. I can only imagine it's the greatest feeling in the world... or some shit like that


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## Kyle Necronomicon (Mar 7, 2011)

If you mean like with a gf/bf I've been single for about three years now, I mean like with good friends. I seriously have no idea what a "real" not just friends relationship is like anymore.


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## Milo (Mar 7, 2011)

Kyle Necronomicon said:


> If you mean like with a gf/bf I've been single for about three years now, I mean like with good friends. I seriously have no idea what a "real" not just friends relationship is like anymore.


 
I mean love... never been in a relationship before. 

besides, I've already got friends... I love having friends, I just wouldn't mind trading up lol


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## Ratte (Mar 7, 2011)

Depression kicks my ass every day.

\not going to read through the whole thing, so sue me


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## Kyle Necronomicon (Mar 7, 2011)

Oh... love yeah ummm I am not a good judge on what love is because I love all my friends and I love one as more then a friend also =p


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## Enwon (Mar 7, 2011)

I can't say I'm depressed- I do have hobbies, I do find things to do, and I do have a social life.  But frequently, almost daily, I just feel down, and can't find a reason why.  Basically, I just find myself without the energy to do anything, and would rather sit in front of a computer and hope for something entertaining to happen.  I often question my own self-worth, feel lonely even though I'm surrounded by friends, and harbor escapist fantasies.  Sometimes, I wish I could've been born someone else, somewhere else, and led a different life.  I have difficulties accepting who I am, feel like my life has no purpose or direction, seriously wonder if I will ever find a relationship, hate where I am, and feel drained by what I do.

This is a fairly recent thing.  I didn't feel down like this frequently until the past few months.  It's been getting worse as time passes.  Is this just a normal "16 year old hormones" type thing, or should I be a little bit worried about this?


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## Bir (Mar 8, 2011)

Relationships definitely help, as well as hobbies. I always find things to do. I guess I'm pretty lucky, I have a large variety of things available for me to craft with... As for relationships, there really should be two in everyone's lives. A relationship, and friendship.

The two people I love most in the entire world... My best friend and my boyfriend. They keep me sane and alive.


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## Skittle (Mar 8, 2011)

:c
I would like to go more than one day without a breakdown...kthnx
Now stupid shit is bringing them on, this is really fuckin' sucky.
It's kinda funny cause I want to draw vent art but, I can't draw so now I'm breaking down over my inability to draw vent art.
Ironic, eh?


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## Pine (Mar 8, 2011)

Bir said:


> Relationships definitely help, as well as hobbies. I always find things to do. I guess I'm pretty lucky, I have a large variety of things available for me to craft with... As for relationships, there really should be two in everyone's lives. A relationship, and friendship.


 
I kinda wish I was in a relationship right now since I've been single for a few years. The only thing that scares me about women is rejection. If I don't get rejected, I fear getting dumped early. If I don't get dumped early, I fear getting cheated on. When you live a town that's so small that you know pretty much everybody, you feel like you will never meet anybody new. Not only that, but I have a few friends that are in relationships and they don't seem fun sometimes. If you make a slight mistake, a relationship can turn to hell quickly.

I have a couple friends IRL but not as much as I used to in school. I feel like I have more friends online now but I don't even talk to them that much anymore. When I'm not working or outside, I'm usually on FAF or Steam.

and I have enough hobbies to keep myself from worrying about having a girlfriend or a ton of friends, the fandom being my favorite.


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## Trpdwarf (Mar 8, 2011)

I remember a while back ....back in HS I got hit with it really bad. Insomnia + Depression due the complications in medications and shit. Of course I had to threaten to kill myself just to get the people around me to finally understand I needed help really bad. There is a fine line between helping people who really need it and those who just want to throw little fits for attention. It's the latter that make it really hard for those who really truly need help.

That's about all I can contribute. When you get hit with depression it's often better to not turn away from those around you because often they are the ones who can help you. Unless of course people are what is driving you down rock bottom and if that's the case taking a break can also have a good effect for dealing with it.


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## Schwimmwagen (Mar 8, 2011)

I can't possibly describe how shitty I've been feeling lately... I feel worthless. I get up every day to do nothing. To go nowhere. To see nobody. I'm in the middle part of what I consider a 365 day weekend stranded in the middle of nowhere. After this is over, I may be just lucky enough to go and learn. For who? Myself, just so I can wake up again the next day and do nothing for nobody and have the money to get me through old age. I don't want to live for me anymore...


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## CynicalCirno (Mar 8, 2011)

Trpdwarf said:


> Of course I had to threaten to kill myself just to get the people around me to finally understand I needed help really bad. There is a fine line between helping people who really need it and those who just want to throw little fits for attention. It's the latter that make it really hard for those who really truly need help.
> 
> That's about all I can contribute. When you get hit with depression it's often better to not turn away from those around you because often they are the ones who can help you. Unless of course people are what is driving you down rock bottom and if that's the case taking a break can also have a good effect for dealing with it.



(Direct) 
People won't pay one eye for your problems until you hand your life. They may only want you physically - they want you to be alive, but they do not care or mention your suffering, nor retain feelings to you as long as you're practically safe. People begging for attention by harming themselves are a slap to the face for those who really need it, but I doubt you were actually going to give away your life. You're slapping the face of those who decided to commit suicide, and those who seriously meant it. 
If you need help, don't contact people who are looking down on you.

(General)
If they're not listening to you the first time, then they don't worth it. You must not repay to those who ignored you, therefore when they'll be in deep issues and hand their own lives, tell them that they ignored you. Rough steel will get cold if it's put on ice. The wandering person is allowed to be cold, harsh and hollow - if somebody gives their life, take it and don't return it.


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## makmakmob (Mar 8, 2011)

I needn't share my story a gazillionth time. But yeah, been around that block a couple times.
Anyways, not sure what to day, depression is an extremely complex issue that can come about for a huge number of reasons. One thing I have found over time is that it is a life saver to know who your 'go-to' people are. And go to people aren't necessarily your best buddies, but rather, just people who are always willing to listen and share a bit of advice and an honest opinion.

Hope I'm not standing anyone up here but I know Nocturne and Grimfang saved my arse on a fair few occasions, and Ratte put up with a lot of shit when I was an alcoholic, and managed to somehow forgive me for it. I think most so-called 'BFF' figures would have fucked off to the high hills though, if I'm honest.

http://www.furaffinity.net/user/twlohafurs <- check these people out too :3


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## Branch (Mar 8, 2011)

Kyle Necronomicon said:


> If you mean like with a gf/bf I've been  single for about three years now, I mean like with good friends. I  seriously have no idea what a "real" not just friends relationship is  like anymore.


 


Skittle said:


> :c
> I would like to go more than one day without a breakdown...kthnx
> Now stupid shit is bringing them on, this is really fuckin' sucky.
> It's kinda funny cause I want to draw vent art but, I can't draw so now I'm breaking down over my inability to draw vent art.
> Ironic, eh?


 
now it's branch's turn to get purple. im almost 20, and i've never had a relationship. dysthymia, major depressive disorder, anxiety disorder and self-defeating personality disorder are... not good things to bring to a relationship... so depressed people, how/why/what/where/when does a relationship do/go with these things (or others)?


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## Grimfang (Mar 8, 2011)

makmakmob said:


> I needn't share my story a gazillionth time. But yeah, been around that block a couple times.


 
I'm glad you're doing better now, Mak. And I'd never hate someone for being depressed and looking for answers. That'd make me a huge hypocrite. I don't have much of a tolerance for people who abuse "depression" and other things for attention, but that's an entirely different thing. You've always been an appreciative and cool guy.

Today, I went for an early morning jog. I've considered it many times, but I figured.. what the hell, I might as well do this. While I believe I get some exercise in, that actually felt strenuous. I'm not the heart and lungs that I used to be, but it felt so great. Got a great head high from that, and I found myself .. _laughing_ at things. Not that I don't have a sense of humor, but I've been much more energetic just from a morning jog.

One problem that seems common with giving advice on dealing with depression, is it's often times presented like this, in bullet format:

Eat more fruits and veggies
Cut out sugar, stop drinking soda
Exercise every day
Get rid of caffeine, quit smoking
etc

Yeah, okay.
"Person without motivation, just do all that stuff. c:"

The thing is, negative factors for depression don't develop overnight, and neither do good habits. If you're able to just deal with the feelings you're having for now, and try experimenting with something. Just add a single plan to your mind, like "I'm going to make sure I eat some fruit everyday." That's just an example, but you know.. every situation is so different.

While I still get depressed, I feel like I deal much better with it. Not to say I always handle myself gracefully, but I'm much more interested in life and trying new things. I don't always make a consistent habit out of all these things. But because I decided to just entertain the idea of making an attempt at a "small victory", I've done all sorts of cool shit.

A lot of this might be corny advice, I don't know. It might not even be helpful to a bunch of you.
Some of it has helped me, and since this is a depression discussion, here's the bit of encouragement/advice I can offer for now.


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## Trpdwarf (Mar 8, 2011)

Satellite One said:


> (Direct)
> People  won't pay one eye for your problems until you hand your life. They may  only want you physically - they want you to be alive, but they do not  care or mention your suffering, nor retain feelings to you as long as  you're practically safe. People begging for attention by harming  themselves are a slap to the face for those who really need it, but I  doubt you were actually going to give away your life. You're slapping  the face of those who decided to commit suicide, and those who seriously  meant it.
> If you need help, don't contact people who are looking down on you.
> 
> ...



What kind of a response is this? I'll agree to some extent to the first  part of what you said. This holds especially true in some places and  some states in America for anyone who gets branded "Special attention"  or "Special needs". It's one hell of a battle if you ever want to raise  yourself above that which you were labeled because these people don't  care about you as a person. They do not care if you are happy or sad.  They don't care about your potential. They just want you alive and  drugged and controlled so they don't have to deal with you. 

Beyond that I find your absurd assumptions to be quite disturbing. Do  you know my story? Do you know my past? Do you know me? No you don't. So  don't make assumptions. I don't take too kindly to someone who knows  nothing about me or my story telling me that that "I doubt you would  have taken your life" and "you are a slap in the face to those who  really need help". You ask questions and learn a person's history before  you make such inane ramblings got it?



Grimfang said:


> I'm glad you're doing better now, Mak. And I'd  never hate someone for being depressed and looking for answers. That'd  make me a huge hypocrite. I don't have much of a tolerance for people  who abuse "depression" and other things for attention, but that's an  entirely different thing. You've always been an appreciative and cool  guy.
> 
> Today, I went for an early morning jog. I've considered it  many times, but I figured.. what the hell, I might as well do this.  While I believe I get some exercise in, that actually felt strenuous.  I'm not the heart and lungs that I used to be, but it felt so great. Got  a great head high from that, and I found myself .. _laughing_ at  things. Not that I don't have a sense of humor, but I've been much more  energetic just from a morning jog.
> 
> ...


 
One of the problems I have with that bullet style thing is that it is offering advice but not questioning why the depression is there. Some of it is useful advice to be sure but still. Something people should also think about is that when dealing with depression or having people they care about deal with it is look at what they are on first. Do it. Seriously. There are are lines of medications out there that are being linked to depression. It's why some meds have those warnings "May cause depression or increase suicidal thoughts". Those warnings mean something and need to be taken seriously. You cannot afford to over look that when looking to addressing depression.

Even if depression isn't implied as a side effect meds can have other side effects that can lead in or increase the odds of getting hit with it. If medication is what is causing the depression well the situation gets a little more complicated now.


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## Grimfang (Mar 9, 2011)

Trpdwarf said:


> One of the problems I have with that bullet style thing is that it is offering advice but not questioning why the depression is there. Some of it is useful advice to be sure but still. Something people should also think about is that when dealing with depression or having people they care about deal with it is look at what they are on first. Do it. Seriously. There are are lines of medications out there that are being linked to depression. It's why some meds have those warnings "May cause depression or increase suicidal thoughts". Those warnings mean something and need to be taken seriously. You cannot afford to over look that when looking to addressing depression.
> 
> Even if depression isn't implied as a side effect meds can have other side effects that can lead in or increase the odds of getting hit with it. If medication is what is causing the depression well the situation gets a little more complicated now.


 
Yeah, I agree.
Really, nothing can (at least the internet can't) really give you the individual-oriented insight that a doctor or professional help can. I have pretty much no knowledge of medications. While I considered seeking out that sort of option for years, it either somehow risked more problems with my family (parents/beliefs/ugh), or health insurance was periodically a problem. That was another fear I always had with meds: What if you can't stay on them due to certain periodical circumstances?

But anyway, yeah.


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## Commiecomrade (Mar 9, 2011)

I honestly cannot comprehend how people get upset over shit like breakups or not making the sports team.
When I got bad grades, though, I hated it. That stuff sticks with you.


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## GoldenJackal (Mar 10, 2011)

I sometimes go to some really dark and scary places in my head. I'm much better equipped to deal with them now although I'm not totally invulnerable to breakdowns. Having people in your life who care about you helps. It often feels like no one understands what I go through, which sounds like something coming from an angst ridden teenager, but it's true. Knowing that you're not alone and that there is help available is the ticket to a relatively normal life in my experience.


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## Mentova (Mar 10, 2011)

I've actually been in a good mood recently. It was awesome. But now, I'm back to being all fucking depressed again. How fucking fun.


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## White Werewolf (Mar 10, 2011)

Heckler: aw, i feel like that alot, whats wrong?


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## Mentova (Mar 10, 2011)

White Werewolf said:


> Heckler: aw, i feel like that alot, whats wrong?


 I posted about why I get depressed earlier in this thread.


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## jcfynx (Mar 10, 2011)

Heckler & Koch said:


> I posted about why I get depressed earlier in this thread.


 
Too many dudes want to do you.

I feel your pain.


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## Mentova (Mar 10, 2011)

jcfynx said:


> Too many dudes want to do you.
> 
> I feel your pain.


 Actually the exact opposite is true. :V


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## PenningtontheSkunk (Mar 10, 2011)

I rarely get depress, I might pout and have a pissed face when my stress points are high but never sad.


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