# WEPONaffinity: Squirrelking Appreciation Day?



## Anaktis (Apr 19, 2009)

I really, REALLY hope I put this thread in the right category, as this is my first real post here and I was a little unsure where to put this.  A while back I had an idea and put it in my journal.  Some people suggested I post it up on the forum, so here it is:

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On May 18, 2006, an epic story of hyper-epic proportions was penned and posted to fanfiction.net. Though less than a page long, it gripped the online community. To some it brought great pain and suffering. To others, it inspired them to further acts of greatness, leading to readings, animations and even short machinima films that took the world by storm. For on May 18, 2006, a writer going by the pseudonym "Squirrelking" wrote and created the epic masterpiece, Half Life: Full-Life Consquences at the supposed age of 9. Not content with merely doing one epic story , this amazing prepubescent author penned other fine works, such as Half Life: Full-Life Consequences 2: What Has To Be Done , Halo: Halos in Space , Metal Gear: Fight of Metal Gears , and FFVII: The Story of Rain Strife, all of which can be found at: 

http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1047027/squirrelking

Also, fan-made animations of his work can be found at:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OHxyZaZlaOs
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h8yHguvYYyQ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0NiCYPrAoB8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Y5EkwBHPbM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3pRd.....eature=related

After such amazing and epic works, how can we not thank this truly amazing individual, who has so brightened the gloomy corners of our wretched lives? That is why I, Anaktis do hereby declare that we should declare May 18th as

SQUIRRELKING APPRECIATION DAY!


This is a good day to celebrate the epic-ness of this fine lad's finely-woven tales of action and suspense. And how better to celebrate him, than by fanfiction in approximation to his well-crafted style? 

Now I know what you're going to say to me, you're probably going to say "Oh, Anaktis! Take me now, you hot preggy herm!". Either that, or "How can we, mere mortals, even can hope to compare to the epic writings of this genius of writing?"  Well, I know none of us can reach the lofty heights of writing he has climbed to, but here are a few pointers on how to come close:

#1- Find your fave! - You're a fan of SOMETHING, pick a something you are willing to write about. Don't be afraid to add more than one favorite.


#2- You are 9 years old! - Remember back when you were a little kid, watching you favorite program, playing your favorite game, or rifling through those funny magazines that dad kept under his bed? Think about your perceptions of that show, game,or program. Think in terms of if you were that old. Simplify the plot until it makes sense, and keep only what would catch your youthful attention.

#3- Put yourself in the story! - Nothing says "epic" like adding your own character to a story! Make it cool! Make it awesome! Make it attention grabbing! Doesn't matter if the genre of your character doesn't match the genre of the story, you are improving it! To make sure that your character is fully anchored in the storyline, make it a relative of a main character. Brother, sister, daughter, son, 3rd cousin four times removed, it will add to the story, and shine a new light on a well-trod subject.

#4 Spell-checkers? Who needs 'em? - When writing an epic story, don't let foolish things like spell-check, a dictionary, or a thesaurus get in your way! All it will do is slow you down! People want to see the raw, uncut version of stories, it shows a greater depth of emotion. Leave spelling and grammar tools to the short-sighted, content writers. You're a rebel!

#5 Dramatic words are your friend! - While it is good to keep your story short and to the point, don't skimp out on your character's dialogue. This is an epic story of your character, and all good main characters need extensive and very wordy, dramatic dialogue. Leave the readers hanging on every given word- thrill them with your abundant vocabulary!

#6 No tied ends! - Don't end your story yet! The readers will no doubt want more. Leave your story open by ending it with a cliffhanger. What will your hero do next? Make the audience beg to find out.

#7 EPIC CHALLENGE! - You are only given 13 periods, 8 commas, and 317 exclamation points to use in your story. Use them wisely.


My challenge to you: Make Squirrelking Appreciation Day Happen!

You, citizens of FA, can make this day happen! Please take time from your workday life, to pen a fanfiction story in Squirrelking's style. It only takes a few minutes, sometimes only three, to make it possible. Please, Write one fanfiction story, and post it on May 18th, and make this holiday possible.

With writers we also need Epic Readers, people who's vocal abilities can shine a spotlight on the fanfiction, and truly make it even more epic.

With your writings and readings, May 18th can truly be called a great day for all.

Thank you.


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## Irreverent (Apr 20, 2009)

> #7 EPIC CHALLENGE! - You are only given 13 periods, 8 commas, and 317 exclamation points to use in your story. Use them wisely.



Well...that cuts me out.


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## JohnTalbain (Apr 20, 2009)

I don't many people can do #7 if they use grammer.


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## LizardKing (Apr 20, 2009)

YOU ARE THE DEMONS


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## Jashwa (Apr 20, 2009)

LizardKing said:


> YOU ARE THE DEMONS


 
DUN DUn dun.


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## Persona363 (Apr 20, 2009)

Ah yes, who could forget such classics, such as Half-Life:Full-Life Consequences. Truely a masterpiece of our time, he is, rightfully so, the greatest literary genius to ever grace our time.


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## Ozriel (Apr 20, 2009)

>.>

Why again?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3pRdzKkVw98&feature=related


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## TakeWalker (Apr 20, 2009)

I love this.


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## M. LeRenard (Apr 22, 2009)

Thanks I could help, bro.


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## Anaktis (Apr 23, 2009)

The laugh overed quickly though.


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## Anaktis (Apr 23, 2009)

Science and Outer Space!


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## Anaktis (Apr 23, 2009)

UPDATE: Oh my god, he did it AGAIN! XD

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4988255/1/Halflife_Fulllife_Consequences_Free_Man


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## Xaerun (Apr 23, 2009)

Bwahaa.


> He didnt want nothing to happen to Henry Freeman because Henry Freeman was John Freeman saw Combines start to run like monsters to humens and Henry Freeman and saw Henry Freeman and humens run like brave to Combines.


Best. Sentence. Ever.


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## Kotatsu (May 16, 2009)

These are pretty awful. Reminds me of another author of bad fanfiction from a little over a decade ago.  

I invite you all to visit the king.... er... queen... um... well... read and you'll see, of awful fanfiction from the early days of the interweb.

Ladies and Gentleceatures, I present to you - Oscar.

http://www.nabiki.com/mst/megane67/mst/oscarfic/

These are actually MST3K style reviews of his "works," because I'm pretty sure that nobody is keeping the originals of these stinkers around.


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## Murphy Z (Jun 15, 2009)

Anaktis said:


> ...
> 
> #7 EPIC CHALLENGE! - You are only given 13 periods, 8 commas, and 317 exclamation points to use in your story. Use them wisely.



My story is titled "Ellipsis Paradox"

..,.! ,, .,...,!, .,,..!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...

EPIC challenge completed, what do I winz?


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