# The Critique Thread (Mar/Apr)



## SSJ3Mewtwo (Mar 10, 2010)

Please use this thread to ask for critique. *Do not start a new  thread.*

The original rules were written up by Poetigress.  For this 2-month  trial period we're trying a slighty different format.  Please reread the  guidelines before posting. 

 _This is a thread for those who want critiques of their written work  to post links to particular stories/poems/whatever on FA, in hopes that  others will offer constructive criticism.

*In your post, please provide*

    * The title of the work
    * A brief summary/description (so prospective critters know whether  it's something they're interested in, such as a poetry submission, erotica, sci-fi, or fantasy)
    * Any content advisories (adult language, sexual content, etc.)
* What type of crit you're looking for (just grammar and spelling, or  anything, or any particular questions/concerns you'd like the critter to  address)
    * The link to the work on FA
***You must critique at least two (2) other submitted  pieces for your work to be be looked at.  Link to both of the critiques  that you have made.  

*If you do not critique other pieces before submitting your request,  your request will be removed.*

This is not to be needlessly overbearing.  This thread has gone through  several iterations now, and each time a common complaint that has come  up has been that there is little actual productive critique done, and  lots of fruitless requesting for it.  We're hoping establishing a rule  of 'give to get' will spur some effective activity.

If you need help figuring out how to critique effectively, try these  links:

How to  Critique Fiction

How to Cope With Critiquing (from both the critiquer's  and author's perspectives)

It's Not  What You Say, But How You Say It_


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## SSJ3Mewtwo (Mar 10, 2010)

*Submitted requests carried over from the previous thread:

**Title:* Solitary, Part 2
*Summary:* Aaron returns to Daniel's cabin after a day in  Yellowknife, only to find himself in a very different situation when he  discovers what's inside. (4111 words) The setting is in the arctic - a  near-future world where humanity is slowly being killed off by a series  of wars and disasters, although the primary focus is on these two  characters - a young refugee and a hardened, lonely wolf.
*Content Advisories:* Nothing explicit. Implied rape at the worst.
*What Type of Crit?:* The usual. If the people who did my first  story happen to remember, am I getting better or worse? Is it worth  continuing? I'm also trying to tell the story out of order, but I dunno  if it works. 
*Link:* http://www.furaffinity.net/view/3406789 (too bad the  0 wasn't a 5)

There were a number of previous requests, but they are from several months ago.  If the submitters would like to re-request critique for them, or if something new has developed in the interim, they're welcome to make the entry after they offer two critiques to other site submissions.  But to prevent cluttering and an excessive list from forming I'll hold off on including them for now.


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## Scarborough (Mar 11, 2010)

*Title:* Things They Don't Tell You in Movies
*Type:* Short Story (2500 words)
*Summary:* Seven things they don't tell you in movies. It's a story about a mom who loves her family. Still a WIP, so moreso than my other pieces, I'm looking for some critique. No adult themes, no language, just a family listening to Big Bad Voodoo Daddy. Note that this is a lot less mindscrewish than my usual stuff.
*Content Advisories:* None.
*What Type of Crit?:* Anything. If you're looking for more specific questions, I have some posted in the short story's description.
*Link:* Click.

The other two critiques: "Frost [dragon]" by thebeast76. "Solitary - Part 2" by KyleAwesome.


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## Alexis (Mar 24, 2010)

*Title:*Beginus
*Summary:*
 A work in progress, its taken ages to get this far and so I want to find if I get any enthusiasm out of youse.
 I'll crack on anyway, but its gonna be a biggie so I needs input nau!

 A sci-fi series, started with Rasterization but I didn't think it was worth asking for critique.
 This one continues on directly afterwords, if that was the pilot this is the main course.

(4000 word so far)

*Advisories:* Some strong language, light violence.

*Your input:* Sense of story building, pace, proper use of english.
*Link:* See here 

My critiques: Solitary Part 2 by KyleAwesome and Swinging
 by Warnndog


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## sunandshadow (Apr 6, 2010)

*Titles:* Synopsis of a 3-gender race story (any of the 4 in my gallery)
*
Summary:* Three of the synopses involve different types of incest, one has no incest, so I thought I'd let you all pick which you preferred to read.  Each synopsis file also contains an explanation of my 3-gender race.
*
Content Advisories:* Incest, some obsession with pregnancy, mentions of sex (but it's a synopsis so, not actual sex scenes)
*
What Type of Crit?:* Plot suggestions, mostly.  Character development or worldbuilding would also be useful.  Don't bother critting mechanics like spelling, punctuation, or grammar because this is only a synopsis, not an actual story.
*
Link: *http://www.furaffinity.net/gallery/sunandshadow/
You can crit any of the 4 synopses in my gallery 

My crits:
*Things they don't tell you in movies
Beginnus
Solitary
White Avalanche
*


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## A Concerned Citizen (Apr 7, 2010)

What if I DON'T want to be a critc for other people's works because I'm not good at crushing people's dreams? xD


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## M. LeRenard (Apr 7, 2010)

A Concerned Citizen said:


> What if I DON'T want to be a critc for other people's works because I'm not good at crushing people's dreams? xD


You gotta' give to receive.  That includes dream-crushings.
The critiques you give aren't really for them, anyway.  They're for you.  It's learning how to tell what's wrong with a piece without having to deal with subjective personal attachment-- which is what you have with your own works--constantly fudging your reasoning.


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## sunandshadow (Apr 8, 2010)

A Concerned Citizen said:


> What if I DON'T want to be a critc for other people's works because I'm not good at crushing people's dreams? xD


Read the links in the first post.  One of the major pieces of advice is remember to mix positive and negative.  If we put stuff up for critique we know it's not perfect, we expect people to suggest changes.  As long as critiquers are trying to be helpful, they are probably not going to crush any dreams.


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## A Concerned Citizen (Apr 13, 2010)

Fine! Fine. I'll get on dem grits.


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## veneer (Apr 22, 2010)

*removed* Whoops. I'm dumb and fail at reading the first post. I'll repost this when I crit stuff.
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/3748470/


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## kitreshawn (Apr 29, 2010)

*Title:* White Avalanche
*Summary:*Faris, a young chess player, has been competing in a regional chess tournament and has a chance at attaining the National Championship if he wins this last game. The last one standing in his way is an older International Master who recently moved in from another country. Will Faris be able to find the key to defeating this more experienced player?
*Content Advisories:* None
*Type of Critique:* General critique of the overall story.  Proof reading would be nice but not asked for.

Critique #1 and Critique #2


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## sunandshadow (May 2, 2010)

Don't forget to read the directions in the first post, you have to give two crits to get critted (preferably the most recent two in the thread, which would be White Avalanche and one of my synopses).


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