# Gabriel Redux. Critique needed/welcome.



## Gaybriel (Mar 3, 2010)

So, in my creative writing class at school, we were asked to create a character from the ground up. I decided to recreate my wolf fursona, Gabriel, as a human. The initial character sketch, after a bio skeleton similar to one you'd see in most forum RPs, is below.

My first prompt using hoomen Gabe is here. Read it up, lemme know what you think. I'll post subsequent prompts and such.

"As much as one would like to color nineteen-year-old Gabriel Sampson a different personal hue, the word â€˜awkwardâ€™ seems to be the first and foremost word to describe him. His tall, awkward figure disproportions his appearance, and the first glance would make a passerby wince. Tall legs, orangutan arms, slender neck are detailed in a closer look, and, if one were to get close enough to peel the long, black bangs to the side, one detail would strike them dead in their tracks. Two eyes, showing a sectional heterochromia - a blue iris in the right eye, a green one in the left. Even when showing a rare glint, or the usual half-empty gaze he casts on most people, they unnecessarily show a depth that emphasizes on the perception one could have of him.

Gabrielâ€™s childhood is a blur - partially because he doesnâ€™t remember, but mostly because he would rather forget. The outstanding details are his mother, the person heâ€™s closest to, the one who instilled a good nature. His father did everything to try and support the family Gabriel grew up in, but through the unexpected intervals of unprecedented sensitivity, sexual identity, and social outcasting, there was little room for connection between the two of them, and as such, Gabriel fell into middle child syndrome.

High school proved his lacking academics as he went through the motions, keeping his acquainted peers at armâ€™s length while holding his music a little too tight. Teaching himself guitar and doodling made up his time, and he half-heartedly applied to several schools for art and design. Salem State was the first one he was accepted to, so his immediate future set in stone.

Since then, some small, yet exponential growth has been made - the story of how he landed his significant other, Felix, is a story heâ€™d rather not have to tell more than once. The story of how he constantly butts heads with his art professor over the â€˜creativeâ€™ liberties taken in his assignments. Yet, somehow, he still manages to keep his head above and know is priorities - be them with or without anyone at his side. The former, however, is much preferred."


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## Atrak (Mar 3, 2010)

> *Gabriel Redux. Critique needed/welcome.*



Key word: Critique.
Key thread: Critique thread.


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## Gaybriel (Mar 3, 2010)

atrakaj said:


> Key word: Critique.
> Key thread: Critique thread.


Bawwwww I didn't go to a critique thread bawwwwwwwww now no one will read it ;w;

but yeah you should read it instead of picking my nits for me <3


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## Scarborough (Mar 3, 2010)

Gaybriel said:


> Bawwwww I didn't go to a critique thread bawwwwwwwww now no one will read it ;w;



Astute observation.



SSJ3Mewtwo said:


> **Rule change:  *You must critique at least two (2) other submitted pieces for your work to be be looked at.  Link to both of the critiques that you have made.
> 
> *If you do not critique other pieces before submitting your request, your request will be removed.*



Hop to it.


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## Atrak (Mar 3, 2010)

Gaybriel said:


> Bawwwww I didn't go to a critique thread bawwwwwwwww now no one will read it ;w;
> 
> but yeah you should read it instead of picking my nits for me <3



I might read it, but I won't do an extensive critique :V .


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## M. LeRenard (Mar 3, 2010)

Please read the rules for this subforum, if you missed them.
Locking thread.


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