# Sexual Abuse / Rape



## Taren Fox (Jun 5, 2010)

*Warning: Serious Topic*

Has anyone here been a victim of sexual abuse or do you know of anyone close to you has been a victim of sexual abuse?

I was talking with a friend today about the topic and I was curious if anyone on FAF had anything to say. If you don't feel like getting into details, that's fine.

(Yeah, FAF CAN have serious topics)


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## Fiesta_Jack (Jun 5, 2010)

A lot of my close personal friends have been sexually abused, but I have not.


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## Gavrill (Jun 5, 2010)

I've been sexually abused. I don't want to (or, more accurately, cannot) go into detail. I was never raped though, so I count my blessings. I also know quite a few people who were sexually abused. Why do they always talk to me about it? ;~;


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## CynicalCirno (Jun 5, 2010)

I made this kind of serious topic before

Got 4 - 5 serious posts

Then flame war

Seriously, talk about sex and rape doesn't fit FAF as there are a lot of immature people who take advantage of it to laugh at others.

As for myself, I was never, I saw never and will knife ever the one that will try.


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## Slyck (Jun 5, 2010)

Nope.

Can't raep the willing but I do sympathize for those who have been raped, etc.


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## Mulefa Zalif (Jun 5, 2010)

The poll is missing a few options...
"Yes, I have sexually abused / raped someone"
"No, but someone close to me is a sexual abuser / rapist."

Furries can't all be victims.


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## CynicalCirno (Jun 5, 2010)

Mulefa Zalif said:


> The poll is missing a few options...
> "Yes, I have sexually abused / raped someone"
> "No, but someone close to me is a sexual abuser / rapist."
> 
> Furries can't all be victims.



That's true but I fear that even if there were they wouldn't admit it.


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## TreacleFox (Jun 5, 2010)

Mulefa Zalif said:


> The poll is missing a few options...
> "Yes, I have sexually abused / raped someone"
> "No, but someone close to me is a sexual abuser / rapist."
> 
> Furries can't all be victims.



Who would admit yes?


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## TashkentFox (Jun 5, 2010)

My mother was raped in 1985 by some bastard. Fortunately he came to a sticky end a few years ago when he was run over by a lorry.


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## lilEmber (Jun 5, 2010)

Yes


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## Azerane (Jun 5, 2010)

Someone close to me has. To be quite honest, being raped/sexually abused it probably my single greatest fear. Not that I go around worrying about it all the time, but if any of my fears were to happen, that's the one I would least like to happen.


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## Randy-Darkshade (Jun 5, 2010)

TashkentFox said:


> My mother was raped in 1985 by some bastard. Fortunately he came to a sticky end a few years ago when he was run over by a lorry.



I wish it was me driving the truck.


Both my sisters were sexually abused. My half sister lived with her biological mother at the time and I only found out about it recently. It was by her biological mothers partner at the time.

And my other sister was abused at 10 years old by my moms partner at the time. Me, my brother and a friend made his car vanish while he was doing time, sold all his tools too. I dunno if he ever reported his car missing to the police. If he did the neighbours didn't say anything.


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## Taren Fox (Jun 5, 2010)

RandyDarkshade said:


> And my other sister was abused at 10 years old by my moms partner at the time. Me, my brother and a friend made his car vanish while he was doing time, sold all his tools too. I dunno if he ever reported his car missing to the police. If he did the neighbours didn't say anything.


He's lucky that's all you guys did.


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## Randy-Darkshade (Jun 5, 2010)

Taren Fox said:


> He's lucky that's all you guys did.



Couldn't get to him as he was inside.


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## Willow (Jun 5, 2010)

My uncle's in jail...I think you can figure out the rest..


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## Silver Dragon (Jun 5, 2010)

I have 2 friends who've been sexually abused.


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## Cat Jordan (Jun 5, 2010)

One of my closest friend from like...Elementary school was sexually molested  by a group of 3-4 schoolmates for about 2 years? It ended in rape and her parents moved to florida along with her.

She didnt report a thing, and begged me not to after telling me about it...Fucking hate this subject, its a goddamn cruelty...


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## Redregon (Jun 5, 2010)

yes. i was around 12 at the time and he blackmailed me into sexual relations for about a year. i know, blackmail seems silly but to a 12 year old, they were grave threats.


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## Taren Fox (Jun 5, 2010)

Redregon said:


> yes. i was around 12 at the time and he blackmailed me into sexual relations for about a year. i know, blackmail seems silly but to a 12 year old, they were grave threats.


That's horrible. ):


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## Willow (Jun 5, 2010)

Taren Fox said:


> That's horrible. ):


It's a sad, unfortunate thing but it happens way too often


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## OTaintedLoveO (Jun 5, 2010)

yea...


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## blackfuredfox (Jun 5, 2010)

This is a very depressing thread, though yeah I was and so was a close friend of mine.


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## Willow (Jun 5, 2010)

I've been able to put it behind me somewhat..but, not completely 

And yea...this thread kinda makes me sad


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## LizardKing (Jun 5, 2010)

A long time ago, yes.

Not myself, thankfully.


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## TashkentFox (Jun 5, 2010)

Rapists and child abusers should be executed.


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## blackfuredfox (Jun 5, 2010)

WillowWulf said:


> I've been able to put it behind me somewhat..but, not completely
> 
> And yea...this thread kinda makes me sad



Same here, I usually try to stuff it away in my mind and forget but I can't.


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## Willow (Jun 5, 2010)

blackfuredfox said:


> Same here, I usually try to stuff it away in my mind and forget but I can't.


There are some people in my family that believe he's innocent or something like that (the irony is that he confessed to it)


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## blackfuredfox (Jun 5, 2010)

WillowWulf said:


> There are some people in my family that believe he's innocent or something like that (the irony is that he confessed to it)



They are just in denial about what he did probably, I just don't see why people would do that to another human being at all especially a child.


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## Sugar-Coated Cyanide (Jun 5, 2010)

Legally, yes, I am a victim of sexual abuse (many times over, in fact). Personally, I don't view it that way as I was more than willing... but whatever.


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## Willow (Jun 5, 2010)

blackfuredfox said:


> They are just in denial about what he did probably, I just don't see why people would do that to another human being at all especially a child.


It's a domination thing I think 

Along some psychological aspects too


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## Pliio8 (Jun 5, 2010)

I have several close friends that were sexually abused, and one that was raped.

I'm a victim of abuse, but not sexual abuse. I can probably count my blessings for that. I have nothing but pure sympathy for those who have been sexually abused or raped, it is probably one of the most psychologically damaging things a child or any aged person can go through, next to losing your closest.


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## Willow (Jun 5, 2010)

Pliio8 said:


> it is probably one of the most psychologically damaging things a child or any aged person can go through


This is true enough


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## Hateful Bitch (Jun 5, 2010)

I haven't been sexually abused, nor has anybody I am very close too, and if they have been they haven't told me about it.


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## blackfuredfox (Jun 5, 2010)

WillowWulf said:


> It's a domination thing I think
> 
> Along some psychological aspects too



The person is still a sick fuck for it, doing that is easily the worst thing in my view.


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## Kaizy (Jun 5, 2010)

Its a no for me, and I dont know anyone personally whos had that happen, but a good friend of mine's friend was raped

I feel bad for anyone whos had to go through it :c


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## Hateful Bitch (Jun 5, 2010)

Pliio8 said:


> I have several close friends that were sexually abused, and one that was raped.
> 
> I'm a victim of abuse, but not sexual abuse. I can probably count my blessings for that. I have nothing but pure sympathy for those who have been sexually abused or raped, it is probably one of the most psychologically damaging things a child or any aged person can go through, next to losing your closest.


I'm particularly sheltered in that I've not been abused at all, and nobody close to me has died. Not even pets. Cats died ages ago, but that was when I didn't really understand. My auntie died a few years ago of a brain tumour, but I didn't really know her.

I do count myself as one of the luckier people.


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## Lucy Bones (Jun 5, 2010)

I was sexually abused by a close relative of mine.


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## SnowFox (Jun 5, 2010)

I wouldn't call it rape, but I don't know what really counts as sexual abuse.


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## Hateful Bitch (Jun 5, 2010)

SnowFox said:


> I wouldn't call it rape, but I don't know what really counts as sexual abuse.


"Sexual activity that is harmful or not consensual."


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## SnowFox (Jun 5, 2010)

Teto said:


> "Sexual activity that is harmful or not consensual."



Well it was non consensual, and rather unpleasant. But I wasn't underage or anything.


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## Willow (Jun 5, 2010)

SnowFox said:


> Well it was non consensual, and rather unpleasant. But I wasn't underage or anything.


You don't necessarily have to be underage to be sexually abused


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## Hateful Bitch (Jun 5, 2010)

SnowFox said:


> Well it was non consensual, and rather unpleasant. But I wasn't underage or anything.


Well that's sexual abuse then, since it wasn't consensual. Just because you aren't underage doesn't mean you can't be abused.


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## Lucy Bones (Jun 5, 2010)

WillowWulf said:


> You don't necessarily have to be underage to be sexually abused


I was. ;~;


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## SnowFox (Jun 5, 2010)

WillowWulf said:


> You don't necessarily have to be underage to be sexually abused





Teto said:


> Well that's sexual abuse then, since it wasn't consensual. Just because you aren't underage doesn't mean you can't be abused.



Well I know that, but I feel like it was partly my own fault for being too trusting and stupid, and I can't really compare it to being raped as a child or something like that.


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## Hateful Bitch (Jun 5, 2010)

SnowFox said:


> Well I know that, but I feel like it was partly my own fault for being too trusting and stupid, and I can't really compare it to being raped as a child or something like that.


Taking advantage of someone is a form of abuse.

(I'm just saying things because I don't really know what happened with you, not that I'm asking you to tell me)


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## Beta_7x (Jun 5, 2010)

Zip for either case.


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## Gavrill (Jun 5, 2010)

TashkentFox said:


> Rapists and child abusers should be executed.


Or they should rot in maximum security prisons. Filled with murderers. 

They'll get what's coming to them, then. Executing is just too quick.


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## Taren Fox (Jun 5, 2010)

The worst is when people judge and make fun of you for being a victim of sexual assault. Like they think it's some sort of joke. D: Every time I see something like that, it makes me lose *that* much more faith in society.


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## Aleu (Jun 5, 2010)

I've almost been raped but I've been sexually harassed before that so I counted that as abuse.


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## Enwon (Jun 5, 2010)

I've never been abused, sexually or otherwise.  I don't know anybody who has been abused.
But people who abuse and rape should be thrown into a prison where they're tortured.  Death is too good a fate for them.


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## Angelikit (Jun 5, 2010)

I was sexually abused when I was very young...maybe 11 or so, if that, actually - it's kinda blurry as it went on for a while. I'd rather not go into details about it but for me the worst part was the emotional abuse that I got from those that did it to me at the same time and I think I found that more damaging than the physical stuff that I experienced. I was too young to fully understand or know better, or at least I don't remember really being so. I have never told anyone except a few very close friends and my boyfriend - I'm 18 now and had repressed a lot of those memories until recently - if it weren't for him being so understanding about my various issues it has caused me and telling him about what happened, I don't think I'd have ever been able to get over them, or at least greatly improve on them so that they're not as much of an issue.

I don't think I know anyone else who has been abused, though.


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## Taren Fox (Jun 5, 2010)

Angelikit said:


> I was sexually abused when I was very young...maybe 11 or so, if that, actually - it's kinda blurry as it went on for a while. I'd rather not go into details about it but for me the worst part was the emotional abuse that I got from those that did it to me at the same time and I think I found that more damaging than the physical stuff that I experienced. I was too young to fully understand or know better, or at least I don't remember really being so. I have never told anyone except a few very close friends and my boyfriend - I'm 18 now and had repressed a lot of those memories until recently - if it weren't for him being so understanding about my various issues it has caused me and telling him about what happened, I don't think I'd have ever been able to get over them, or at least greatly improve on them so that they're not as much of an issue.
> 
> I don't think I know anyone else who has been abused, though.


It's nice to have someone to talk with. I'm glad your boyfriend has helped you gain some closure.


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## Shiroka (Jun 5, 2010)

Say, is someone purposely dropping his pants in front of a 5 years old to reveal a massive boner counts as abuse?


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## Willow (Jun 5, 2010)

Taren Fox said:


> The worst is when people judge and make fun of you for being a victim of sexual assault. Like they think it's some sort of joke. D: Every time I see something like that, it makes me lose *that* much more faith in society.


Usually when it happens to girls, they're labeled as being sluts or some shit like that

Sexual abuse when it happens to kids can cause physical damage too


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## Aleu (Jun 5, 2010)

Shiroka said:


> Say, is someone purposely dropping his pants in front of a 5 years old to reveal a massive boner counts as abuse?



Yes.


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## Taren Fox (Jun 5, 2010)

WillowWulf said:


> Usually when it happens to girls, they're labeled as being sluts or some shit like that


I know and that's fucking bullshit. D:


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## Shiroka (Jun 5, 2010)

AleutheWolf said:


> Yes.



k. =( *votes*

In all seriousness, I think it's causing me problems today. I don't seem to be attracted to females but when I see a real live dick, it gives me the chills. I can only seem to get hard on drawn stuff like yaoi and yiff. Maybe I should consult a specialist about it.

And yeah, child abusers should definitely receive a good old fashioned ass whopping. And not the kind they'd enjoy.


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## Taren Fox (Jun 5, 2010)

Shiroka said:


> k. =( *votes*
> 
> In all seriousness, I think it's causing me problems today. I don't seem to be attracted to females but when I see a real live dick, it gives me the chills. I can only seem to get hard on drawn stuff like yaoi and yiff. Maybe I should consult a specialist about it.
> 
> And yeah, child abusers should definitely receive a good old fashioned ass whopping. And not the kind they'd enjoy.


Being sexually assaulted at a young age can really fuck someone up for the rest of their lives. It's fucking terrible that it's 2010 and people still do this shit. Will mankind ever evolve?


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## Willow (Jun 5, 2010)

Taren Fox said:


> I know and that's fucking bullshit. D:


And then you have the people who use it to get attention or sympathy, if I'm not mistaken, that's a form of Munchhausen Syndrome


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## Taren Fox (Jun 5, 2010)

WillowWulf said:


> And then you have the people who use it to get attention or sympathy, if I'm not mistaken, that's a form of Munchhausen Syndrome


And to make money. :\


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## Fuzzy Alien (Jun 5, 2010)

My ex was raped by two guys in, I think, middle school. Surprisingly it doesn't seem to have scarred her for life or anything, as she only mentioned it in passing.


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## Willow (Jun 5, 2010)

Taren Fox said:


> Being sexually assaulted at a young age can really fuck someone up for the rest of their lives.


It doesn't just affect the true victim either, it affects everyone involved. Having a social worker come to your house every week, child services shit, and 3 years of counseling...that wasn't much fun


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## Zseliq (Jun 5, 2010)

I have not but I have friends who have been raped.


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## Oovie (Jun 5, 2010)

My older sister supposedly when she was about twelve whilst we still lived in Australia. I wouldn't say it scarred her for life or anything, she has a happy family of her own now.


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## Browder (Jun 5, 2010)

My ex boyfriend was abused by his teacher but he decided to continue the relationship of his own volition. It still obviously left some damage.


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## Don (Jun 5, 2010)

Thankfully, I was never sexually abused as a child nor do I know anyone who was; the same goes for rape. 

As stated before, all rapists and child abusers should be shot or at least thrown into the worst prison possible and let the other inmates deal with them.


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## Ratte (Jun 5, 2010)

I've been sexually abused.


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## PanzerschreckLeopard (Jun 5, 2010)

RandyDarkshade said:


> Me, my brother and a friend made his car vanish while he was doing time, sold all his tools too. I dunno if he ever reported his car missing to the police. If he did the neighbours didn't say anything.



Sold the car or destroyed it?

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Honestly, I have no idea. ^^'


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## SnowFox (Jun 5, 2010)

I'm really surprised just how common this seems to be. 

I suppose this being a furry forum skews the results a bit.


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## Browder (Jun 5, 2010)

SnowFox said:


> I'm really surprised just how common this seems to be.
> 
> *I suppose this being a furry forum skews the results a bit.*



Why do you think this?


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## SnowFox (Jun 5, 2010)

Browder said:


> Why do you think this?



Because the fandom seems to attract a lot of people who had fucked up childhoods and stuff.

I wouldn't expect it to be this common if you just went out and asked random people.


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## Browder (Jun 5, 2010)

SnowFox said:


> Because the fandom seems to attract a lot of people who had fucked up childhoods and stuff.
> 
> I wouldn't expect it to be this common if you just went out and asked random people.


...My childhood wasn't fucked up. 

But yeah I noticed that too. I wonder why that is?


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## Taren Fox (Jun 5, 2010)

Maybe people find comfort in cartoons and in animals.


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## Angelikit (Jun 5, 2010)

Perhaps, but with the relative amount of anonymity that the internet brings, that is if you don't know in real life the person or people you're talking to, they probably feel somewhat safer telling people they know they'll never or have a very unlikely chance of meeting - go about asking random people in a town or village where people may very well overhear you or know you and/or the person you're talking to, and they probably will worry about what others will think if they find out about it. 

Erm, I hope that made some sense, tl:dr version - a lot of people will often judge you the second they meet you in person via your appearance, the way you walk, talk etc, something of which unless you're acting like a complete idiot or whatever on here in every post someone sees, is probably less likely to happen online or at least, not as quickly since you have to spend time getting to know them, so maybe they feel safer and it just happens that they're into furry stuff? Or...something like that...I suck at trying to explain things sometimes, I really do ><'.

Hell, my own parents don't know any of the bad stuff that's happened to me when I was a kid as far as I'm aware, and there's other stuff ontop of that (not gonna drag that up...). And if they did know I was into furry, them, as would most other people, would probably still assume I'm relatively "normal" person without a fucked up childhood, save for their divorce and my mother coming out as a lesbian who'd actually been having an affair with another woman at some point (I start on one thing and tend to get carried away...sorry xD), but me and my brother had seen that coming for quite some time so that wasn't much of a surprise.

Now, would I tell half of this stuff I'm telling you guys to people I know in person? No, probably not unless I knew them already and that they'd not judge what I tell them off the batt and misinterpret some of it as something it's not.


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## Hateful Bitch (Jun 5, 2010)

The only real thing fucked up about me is aspergers, but everybody I've mentioned it to so far was surprised, because apparently I don't seem it at all. Same goes for people IRL I mention it to. Hmm.


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## Jashwa (Jun 5, 2010)

When I was littler, maybe like 10-11, I was blackmailed/pressured into doing stuff with my older step brother a few times. It wasn't an ongoing thing and I don't think it has really effected me much, though.


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## elenawing (Jun 5, 2010)

Thankfully no. HOWEVER I _was_ groomed online by an older man when I was first entering the furry fandom at a young age. Luckily I never gave him my personal info and such, and he was in another continent, I wised up and promptly blocked him realising how stupid it all was, but I can't help but wonder what would have happened if I had let it continue...

...*shudder*


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## zyiliax (Jun 5, 2010)

yeah ,  it was  a school mate mine  and  i had a very near  miss year  before last   fortunatly  sombody  walk passed and  threw  him off  before too much happened. I managed to get away from him  and  managed to get home  without him following  me.but


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## Redregon (Jun 5, 2010)

WillowWulf said:


> And then you have the people who use it to get attention or sympathy, if I'm not mistaken, that's a form of Munchhausen Syndrome



yeah... though i don't like discounting a person's story when they talk about something like this (since, well, having gone through it, it's a real tough subject to talk about usually, it's even more stressful than coming out imo.) but i have seen and met some people that would amplify and embellish on their childhoods and other stories to gain sympathy.

it's kinda sad, in a sense... i mean, i wouldn't even wish what happened to me to happen to my worst enemy and there are people that will wish to gain attention so saying you were raped is like the devil's gambit. you WILL get sympathy from people and there's really no real way to prove it did or didn't happen.

i think that's also kinda some of the why's in why it isn't talked about too much. people think that if you're a girl and were raped, that somehow makes you a lesser person and if you're a guy, you're actually a depraved fag that secretly wanted it. 9_9 

dunno... in the end, though, if someone is making it up, well, i don't care much about it. yeah, it's pitiable for someone to do that, but to me, it's better than the alternative since words like "i don't believe you" can hurt like hell in these sorts of situations.

and what's worse, things like this seem to leave an indelible mark on people... like, it somehow permanently warps your sense of self and self esteem, your sense of sexuality (i cannot say if i would be queer had it not happened to me) and even your sexual life (i'll admit it, a part of me gets a little bit of a rise when some BDSM scenarios crop up... not always pleasantly though but still... an emotional reaction that's strong.) (yes, i am a little bit of a perv like that... no i will not elaborate since THAT is not the point of this thread.)

thing is, for me at least, it kinda brings me a bit of strength. i mean, given that it happened to me, despite my shortcomings, i'm still here and i can still kick ass with the best of em. that's gotta count for something, right? it's not called being a "rape SURVIVOR" for nothing.


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## Luca (Jun 5, 2010)

I actually do infact know someone who was sexualy abused as a child. She is a very close personal freind of mine. I don't know why but she just decided to tell me one day. It was probibly one of the worst things I've ever had a conversation about. Her father was arrested years ago but we were friends for a very long time and I had met the guy before  he was. I knew he had gone to jail but never the reason for it. As far as I know I'm the only one outside of the family that knows.


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## Tao (Jun 5, 2010)

Don't know anyone who's been raped or anything. I have not either. It's not something to lie about.


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## Willow (Jun 5, 2010)

Redregon said:


> and what's worse, things like this seem to leave an indelible mark on people... like, it somehow permanently warps your sense of self and self esteem, your sense of sexuality (i cannot say if i would be queer had it not happened to me) and even your sexual life (i'll admit it, a part of me gets a little bit of a rise when some BDSM scenarios crop up... not always pleasantly though but still... an emotional reaction that's strong.)


It affects people in different ways, especially children. Being sexualized too early causes puberty to happen early, and that brings with it some ill effects

Had it not happened, I wouldn't have a hard time trusting people, men especially and yea, that whole sexuality thing, ugh

But yea, at the same time, you have to have some willpower to get through it, and thankfully I did


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## Ieatcrackersandjumpcliffs (Jun 5, 2010)

Jashwa said:


> When I was littler, maybe like 10-11, I was blackmailed/pressured into doing stuff with my older step brother a few times. It wasn't an ongoing thing and I don't think it has really effected me much, though.



You'd be surprised. Also, my condolences.


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## Jashwa (Jun 5, 2010)

Ieatcrackersandjumpcliffs said:


> You'd be surprised. Also, my condolences.


It's no biggie. 

I mean, maybe it had an effect on my sexuality or why I repressed it for awhile, but I don't have any trust issues or hold it against him really or anything. 

I'm more angry at him for all the times he got me in trouble when I was little. Like, every time I would visit my dad's house (divorced parents, he's my step mom's kid), he'd do something and tell his mom that I did it. She'd always believe him and never believe me and I would always get in trouble for "lying" and saying I didn't do it. It was so shitty going there.


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## Ieatcrackersandjumpcliffs (Jun 5, 2010)

Jashwa said:


> It's no biggie.
> 
> I mean, maybe it had an effect on my sexuality or why I repressed it for awhile, but I don't have any trust issues or hold it against him really or anything.
> 
> I'm more angry at him for all the times he got me in trouble when I was little. Like, every time I would visit my dad's house (divorced parents, he's my step mom's kid), he'd do something and tell his mom that I did it. She'd always believe him and never believe me and I would always get in trouble for "lying" and saying I didn't do it. It was so shitty going there.



It's funny how, I guess, the littlest stuff that happens repeatedly over a long time period bug us more than really bad stuff that happened for only short time.


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## Willow (Jun 5, 2010)

Ieatcrackersandjumpcliffs said:


> It's funny how, I guess, the littlest stuff that happens repeatedly over a long time period bug us more than really bad stuff that happened for only short time.


It's probably a memory thing


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## Jashwa (Jun 5, 2010)

WillowWulf said:


> It's probably a memory thing


Like, as in repression? No. I still remember things pretty vividly. 


Ieatcrackersandjumpcliffs said:


> It's funny how, I guess, the littlest stuff that happens repeatedly over a long time period bug us more than really bad stuff that happened for only short time.


I wouldn't call that little stuff. I got in serious trouble for the shit he did. He'd trash my step mom's craft stuff and I'd get beaten and/or grounded for it and no matter what I'd say it wouldn't matter. He was just "The good son", even though he would later be the one to get a few DUI's, arrested a few times for vandalism, and caught with pot a few times. He also got horrible grades and I got straight A's, yet he was the one that my step mom idolized just because she gave birth to him.

Like I said, though, the molesting thing really wasn't _that_ bad. It only happened like 3 or 4 times and I don't really blame him that much for it.


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## Willow (Jun 5, 2010)

2 years, way too many times


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## Ratte (Jun 5, 2010)

Browder said:


> ...My childhood wasn't fucked up.



Lucky, lucky you.


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## Ieatcrackersandjumpcliffs (Jun 5, 2010)

Jashwa said:


> Like, as in repression? No. I still remember things pretty vividly.
> 
> I wouldn't call that little stuff. I got in serious trouble for the shit he did. He'd trash my step mom's craft stuff and I'd get beaten and/or grounded for it and no matter what I'd say it wouldn't matter. He was just "The good son", even though he would later be the one to get a few DUI's, arrested a few times for vandalism, and caught with pot a few times. He also got horrible grades and I got straight A's, yet he was the one that my step mom idolized just because she gave birth to him.
> 
> Like I said, though, the molesting thing really wasn't _that_ bad. It only happened like 3 or 4 times and I don't really blame him that much for it.



Did his personality change?


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## Aleu (Jun 5, 2010)

You know what's also fucked up?

I just remembered hearing this one story where this girl was being raped and beaten and a few guys were egging the assaulter on.

One of my ex-friends was trying to defend the onlookers by saying that they weren't actually doing the action so they didn't deserve punishment. That pissed me off more than anything.


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## Willow (Jun 5, 2010)

AleutheWolf said:


> You know what's also fucked up?
> 
> I just remembered hearing this one story where this girl was being raped and beaten and a few guys were egging the assaulter on.
> 
> One of my ex-friends was trying to defend the onlookers by saying that they weren't actually doing the action so they didn't deserve punishment. That pissed me off more than anything.


That's called guilt by association isn't it?


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## Jashwa (Jun 5, 2010)

Ieatcrackersandjumpcliffs said:


> Did his personality change?


My step brother's? Nope. He was always that type of kid since I could remember. He's like 4 or 5 years older than me, though, so maybe he was a good little kid.


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## Browder (Jun 5, 2010)

Ratte said:


> Lucky, lucky you.


Believe me, I know how lucky I am.



Jashwa said:


> My step brother's? Nope. He was always that type of kid since I could remember. He's like 4 or 5 years older than me, though, so maybe he was a good little kid.


How are you able to forgive him? He molested you and you don't blame him?


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## Jashwa (Jun 5, 2010)

Browder said:


> How are you able to forgive him? He molested you and you don't blame him?


Because it really didn't effect me much. He was a stupid teenager and probably regrets it now. People do stupid shit when they're in their teens.


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## Browder (Jun 5, 2010)

Jashwa said:


> Because it really didn't effect me much. He was a stupid teenager and probably regrets it now. People do stupid shit when they're in their teens.



Molestation does not fall under 'stupid shit' in my opinion. Molestation falls under predation. Stupid shit is usually self destructive.


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## Jashwa (Jun 5, 2010)

Browder said:


> Molestation does not fall under 'stupid shit' in my opinion. Molestation falls under predation. Stupid shit is usually self destructive.


Like I said, it wasn't an ongoing thing. He obviously realized it was wrong or something and stopped.


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## Willow (Jun 5, 2010)

Jashwa said:


> Like I said, it wasn't an ongoing thing. He obviously realized it was wrong or something and stopped.


..was he arrested at all?


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## Jashwa (Jun 5, 2010)

WillowWulf said:


> ..was he arrested at all?


I was like 10 and didn't report it of course. I didn't report it later because I don't hold it against him or feel like it has effected my life at all. It was just something disgusting that happened a few times.


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## Tycho (Jun 5, 2010)

Taren Fox said:


> *Warning: Serious Topic*
> 
> Has anyone here been a victim of sexual abuse or do you know of anyone close to you has been a victim of sexual abuse?
> 
> ...



Better be an anonymous poll or you'll have some pissed people on your back.


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## Browder (Jun 5, 2010)

Jashwa said:


> I was like 10 and didn't report it of course. I didn't report it later because I don't hold it against him or feel like it has effected my life at all. It was just something disgusting that happened a few times.


I know you don't care, and I know that it's none of my business but I want justice. What happened to him wasn't.


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## Willow (Jun 5, 2010)

Tycho said:


> Better be an anonymous poll or you'll have some pissed people on your back.


It's anonymous



Browder said:


> I know you don't care, and I know that it's none of my business but I want justice. What happened to him wasn't.


It truly isn't, but, if it happens once, it's happened too many times

But that's just my opinion


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## Jashwa (Jun 5, 2010)

WillowWulf said:


> It truly isn't, but, if it happens once, it's happened too many times
> 
> But that's just my opinion





Browder said:


> I know you don't care, and I know that it's none of my business but I want justice. What happened to him wasn't.



It shouldn't happen, but that doesn't mean someone's life deserves to be completely ruined because of something stupid they did when they were a teenager that really didn't hurt anyone at all.


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## Browder (Jun 5, 2010)

Jashwa said:


> It shouldn't happen, but that doesn't mean someone's life deserves to be completely ruined because of something stupid they did when they were a teenager that really didn't hurt anyone at all.



You're the victim so you make the call I guess. Just as long as he knows it's not okay.


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## Jashwa (Jun 5, 2010)

Browder said:


> You're the victim so you make the call I guess. Just as long as he knows it's not okay.


If he didn't, wouldn't he have kept doing it?


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## Browder (Jun 5, 2010)

Jashwa said:


> If he didn't, wouldn't he have kept doing it?



Not necessarily. He might have found someone else, after getting bored with you.


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## Willow (Jun 5, 2010)

Browder said:


> Not necessarily. He might have found someone else, after getting bored with you.


Either that or just got bored outright


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## Tycho (Jun 5, 2010)

Browder said:


> Not necessarily. He might have found someone else, after getting bored with you.



The sick puppies don't generally stop after just one, regardless of what age they start sexually assaulting/molesting others at.  There's "curious" and then there's "serious".


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## Jashwa (Jun 5, 2010)

Browder said:


> Not necessarily. He might have found someone else, after getting bored with you.


Possibly. 

I have faith that he's smart enough now to know what's right and wrong. He's a nurse now.


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## Tycho (Jun 5, 2010)

Jashwa said:


> Possibly.
> 
> I have faith that he's smart enough now to know what's right and wrong. He's a nurse now.



I'm guessing/hoping that he was a "curious" case.


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## Browder (Jun 5, 2010)

Jashwa said:


> Possibly.
> 
> I have faith that he's smart enough now to know what's right and wrong. He's a nurse now.



Fine. You know him better than we do obviously, but I know that you also know that a lot of idiocy is built just on faith.


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## Shiroka (Jun 5, 2010)

I don't know if it's just because those who weren't sexually abused  don't care about this poll but I find it really sad that apparently one  person out of five have been, and even more so after reading some of the  stories in this thread.

I would have literally castrated your step brother, Jashwa.


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## freezethewolf (Jun 5, 2010)

my uncle was accused of being a rapist but then out of the blue the girl slipped and admitted she lied about it all and just wanted to get back at him for leving her so after 4 years he was -poof- set free


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## Tycho (Jun 5, 2010)

Shiroka said:


> I don't know if it's just because those who weren't sexually abused  don't care about this poll but I find it really sad that apparently one  person out of five have been, and even more so after reading some of the  stories in this thread.
> 
> I would have literally castrated your step brother, Jashwa.



The amount of people on average who have been sexually abused has not necessarily increased that much.  Awareness of it and a more vigilant attitude against it have brought this issue a little further out of the dark and into the public's sight.

I'd wager that despite what the numbers and percentages say in this poll, a cross-section of the fandom itself would reveal more "average" numbers.


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## CrispSkittlez (Jun 5, 2010)

I do have a friend who was raped.


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## Aleu (Jun 6, 2010)

freezethewolf said:


> my uncle was accused of being a rapist but then out of the blue the girl slipped and admitted she lied about it all and just wanted to get back at him for leving her so after 4 years he was -poof- set free


people like that chick disgust me. Did she get reprimanded for lying at least?



WillowWulf said:


> That's called guilt by association isn't  it?




Pretty sure


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## Fenrir Lupus (Jun 6, 2010)

My best friend's girl friend and a friend of hers...  It sucks when the topic comes up...  I mean...  what am I supposed to say?


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## Jashwa (Jun 6, 2010)

Fenrir Lupus said:


> My best friend's girl friend and a friend of hers...  It sucks when the topic comes up...  I mean...  what am I supposed to say?


Say "That's kinda hot."


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## Redregon (Jun 6, 2010)

AleutheWolf said:


> people like that chick disgust me. Did she get reprimanded for lying at least?



oh dear god i hope so. i know it happens and i really wish there were some sort of penalty to lay on them. i mean, through their lying and duplicitous actions, they're sending an innocent man to jail.

wait, isn't that "Contempt of court" or "perjury" or something? my Bing-fu is failing me tonight.

not to mention that the people that DO lie about it for attention/revenge make it harder for actual victims to feel safe coming forward with their conflict.


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## Aleu (Jun 6, 2010)

Redregon said:


> oh dear god i hope so. i know it happens and i really wish there were some sort of penalty to lay on them. i mean, through their lying and duplicitous actions, they're sending an innocent man to jail.
> 
> wait, isn't that "Contempt of court" or "perjury" or something? my Bing-fu is failing me tonight.
> 
> not to mention that the people that DO lie about it for attention/revenge make it harder for actual victims to feel safe coming forward with their conflict.



probably.

It also makes it more difficult for people to take the victims seriously.
Like, this one guy who harassed me at the bus stop every day but because the people there didn't like me and were friends with him would always back him up and say that I was lying. God, I hated them.


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## Icen (Jun 6, 2010)

Yes I am, and yes I know several people who have been.


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## Ieatcrackersandjumpcliffs (Jun 6, 2010)

Jashwa said:


> Possibly.
> 
> I have faith that he's smart enough now to know what's right and wrong. He's a nurse now.



I can't remember where, when and by who, but I heard that people don't become "self-aware" until early adolescents. I'm not sure if that makes any sense.


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## Willow (Jun 6, 2010)

Ieatcrackersandjumpcliffs said:


> I can't remember where, when and by who, but I heard that people don't become "self-aware" until early adolescents. I'm not sure if that makes any sense.


Self aware sexually?


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## Ieatcrackersandjumpcliffs (Jun 6, 2010)

WillowWulf said:


> Self aware sexually?



Right and wrong. Kids work on impulse.


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## Mayonnaise (Jun 6, 2010)

I have trouble in trusting people because of it. A really good friend set a trap and led me to the hands of a pedophile. I was 11 back then.


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## yiffytimesnews (Jun 6, 2010)

Rape is a rather sensitive issue with me, you see when my father got drunk back when I was a kid he use to rape my mother.


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## Aleu (Jun 6, 2010)

Radio Viewer said:


> I have trouble in trusting people because of it. A really good friend set a trap and led me to the hands of a pedophile. I was 11 back then.


must not be all that great of a friend then :/


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## Thatch (Jun 6, 2010)

AleutheWolf said:


> must not be all that great of a friend then :/



I'm wondering what the pediphile did with the friend, as well.


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## Mayonnaise (Jun 6, 2010)

AleutheWolf said:


> must not be all that great of a friend then :/


Yeah, you will never know some people until they show their true colours.



szopaw said:


> I'm wondering what the pediphile did with the friend, as well.


Well... she was a family member of said paedophile. Maybe she just want revenge after I rejected her love proposal... Hopefully its just that.


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## Randy-Darkshade (Jun 6, 2010)

Radio Viewer said:


> Yeah, you will never know some people until they show their true colours.
> 
> Well... she was a family member of said paedophile. Maybe she just want revenge after I rejected her love proposal... Hopefully its just that.



The problem is only time will show someones true colors. And that can take any amount of time.


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