# synopsis feedback



## greymist (Nov 23, 2012)

I need to write a synopsis but have never written one before.  Was interested in getting some feedback on one written for my book.

Title: A Kitsuneâ€™s Tail Word count: 102,902  By: John Meachum     Genre:  Young Adult

Kara is your average teenage girl; smart, simple and tormented by the popular kids as most intelligent kids are subjected to, or so she thought.  After a confrontation with her long time tormentor that sets off an emotional torrent, Kara finds herself in the world of myth. 

Every culture has their myths based on the superstition and unexplained artwork discovered over the years. The Lycanthropes from Europe, LÃ¶wenmensch from Germany, Bakeneko from Japan, Huli Jing from China, and of course the Kitsune of Japan.  For years they have been thought of as nothing more than myth based on superstition but as Kara learns, myth has its foundations in truth.  These creatures roamed the world of man before written history but after discovering a new dimension, they have since escaped the plague known as man.

Kara quickly discovers the origins of such creatures and a family secret that not even her mother knew about.  Thanks to her grandmother; she has inherited a Kitsune lineage and an impossible task of saving a dieing world; if she can save herself from her own late change.

Kara sets out to explore her new world and who she is with the help of an unlikely group of  LÃ¶wenfrau (Lion-Woman) assassins, a Kitsune, and an elderly Huli Jing who has secrets of his own and holds the key to Karaâ€™s past.  Her adventure is filled with pain, fear, doubt, and romance.  Every race wants to use her for their end or destroy her all together but everyone will discover that that task may not be as easy as they thought.  Even the gods will struggle to keep up with a headstrong, scared Kitsune who may be the only savior they have left.


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## Conker (Nov 24, 2012)

I say ditch the first and last paragraphs. Maybe the last sentence of the second paragraph. 

Would be a good place to start anyways.


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## sunandshadow (Nov 24, 2012)

I take it this isn't supposed to be a plot synopsis, but instead something like back cover copy?  Cause this is nothing like the kind of plot synopsis you submit to a publisher if you are trying to get them to request your full manuscript for consideration.


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## greymist (Nov 24, 2012)

I am trying to come up with a plot synopsis.  no clue what I am doing honestly.....  It includes the plot as I see it...  I suck at selling my work


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## sunandshadow (Nov 24, 2012)

greymist said:


> I am trying to come up with a plot synopsis.  no clue what I am doing honestly.....  It includes the plot as I see it...  I suck at selling my work


Ok, if you are trying to do a plot synopsis I can help you out.  Assuming your work has chapters, you should go through and write one sentence describing what happens in each chapter.  Cut out any that seem too minor (especially ones that focus on a character who isn't one of the two most important) or redundant, then use the rest as your synopsis (edit to make prettier paragraphs as necessary).

It should look something like this:

1st paragraph:  "Main Character thinks X but is about to find out otherwise.  Initial incident reveals a problem and a motivation.  Clearly somebody needs to do Y but there is an obstacle of complication, Z."

2nd paragraph: "Second most important character (villain or love interest or buddy) probably enters the story here, if so describe them and their impact on the problem/plan/obstacle.  Maybe they have a different plan/obstacle.  Maybe they themselves constitute a new plan/obstacle.  If there isn't a second most important character, instead this will be about the main character's initial actions and their results, plus any major outside input that changes the situation, and the new goal after this plot advancement."

3rd&etc. paragraphs, repeat as necessary: "A plan is formed, an action taken, encountering various obstacles or revelations, which has results that affect the situation and the characters' motivations, resulting in a new goal."

Final paragraph "Describe the climax of the story.  YES spoil the hell out of that ending.  The editor doesn't need to know all the details, but they need to know what makes it a cool and satisfying ending."


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## greymist (Nov 24, 2012)

Thank you for the advice.  I will work on that and see what I can come up with.


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