# How do I tell my parents I'm a furry?



## Penny_Shavings109 (Oct 18, 2016)

My parents have been getting very nosy lately, seeing how I've just joined the furry community a few months ago. I'm 15 years old and still live with my parents, of course, and I'm really nervous of how they'll react. My parents already know that I'm Transgender and they literally said that they'll never accept me as their daughter. I'm even more worried about having a passion for anthropomorphic animals. I mean, everyone's saying that I should tell my parents what others say about me being their daughter and not loving their child for who they are is a basic part of parenting. I don't think they'd be able to take any of it seeing my long trail of bad history in the past. So, I want to hear your opinions before I go and discuss this with my parents straight out. My mom is already getting suspicious though. I'm posting a poll above to ask whether or not I should even ask my parents,


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## ZacAttackk (Oct 18, 2016)

You don't have to, it doesn't change anything really.


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## FoxInTheCloset (Oct 18, 2016)

It is just a hobby, it isn't a lifestyle choice. No real point to go around telling people cause they immediately overreact cause of the amount of misconceptions there are with the fandom.


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## PlusThirtyOne (Oct 18, 2016)




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## Deleted member 82554 (Oct 18, 2016)

I've said it once before and I'll say it again, an interest in all things furry is a hobby, nothing more. It's not like being transgender or gay where eventually you have to say something, furry is not a sexuality and as long as you treat it that way you'll be fine...


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## Jarren (Oct 18, 2016)

If you feel it's that important that you have to tell them, we can't stop you. That said, it's probably not worth the shit storm that would likely follow. My advice is don't bring it up.


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## Shameful_Cole (Oct 18, 2016)

Ah boy, what a classic thread. There's been another user recently on this forum that made a whole debacle over it. He did decide to tell his parents after weeks of people telling him not to bother, because a few people told him to go with his heart. His parents did not seem to completely understand it, and he didn't treat his parents too well afterward. Don't end up like that, please. If you want someone to know, then just don't be secretive. It's a simple interest like everything else, so there is no need to go to either extreme (coming out as a furry or completely hiding it). If your parents ask questions calmly and honestly answer them.

Also, since you're 15, remember to keep looking for interests at school. All of this furry stuff isn't going anywhere, so don't worry if other things take your time first.


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## Yakamaru (Oct 18, 2016)

Gotta put som classic in that classical. I need a second monocle for this shit.

Transgender, as in having actually transitioned from a male to a female? Seeing as you're talking about being a daughter. A mental state does not equate a different gender. If you intend to transition into a female or have already done so you have my support. However, if you're just on this moronic bandwagon known as transTRENDERS, you will have no sympathy or support from me.

As for telling your parents: Yeah, go ahead and shove yourselves further apart. Them reacting negatively to you being a "Transgender" should already be a hint to keep that shit to yourself. As whatever the fuck kind of fandom you belong to is PRIVATE. Your parents have NOTHING to do in your private areas in the first place.

Fuckin' hell. When did common sense, a bit of critical thinking and sense of PRIVACY go out the fucking window?

~Edit~
Missed the part of you being 15. Definitely a TransTRENDER.


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## PlusThirtyOne (Oct 18, 2016)

On a more serious note, your interest in furries isn't (and should not be) related at all to your sexual orientation or identity. if you already have trouble with them accepting your sexual identity, you might have some difficulties trying to explain your interest in anthropomorphic animals, assuming they're even aware of them or the adult side of the fandom. if they aren't, just don't bring it up.


Yakamaru said:


> transTRENDERS


There was literally no reason to make that assumption or make that statement. Yes, we're all annoyed by the "special snowflake" movement garbage but that comment wasn't a necessary one to make. That's like saying, "Oh, you like vegetables? Peas and carrots are fine and they have my support but if you're one of those kale pushing hipsters, you can forget it." Nobody mentioned kale, friend. For all we know the OP could be legit and besides that, chiming in with a preface like that won't win you any bonus points. :V


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## Yakamaru (Oct 18, 2016)

PlusThirtyOne said:


> There was literally no reason to make that assumption or make that statement. Yes, we're all annoyed by the "special snowflake" movement garbage but that comment wasn't a necessary one to make. That's like saying, "Oh, you like vegetables? Peas and carrots are fine and they have my support but if you're one of those kale pushing hipsters, you can forget it." Nobody mentioned kale, friend. For all we know the OP could be legit and besides that, chiming in with a preface like that won't win you any bonus points. :V


I also said "If you intend to transition into a female or have already done so you have my support."

Not interested in supporting people who just want attention.


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## Penny_Shavings109 (Oct 18, 2016)

Yakamaru said:


> I also said "If you intend to transition into a female or have already done so you have my support."
> 
> Not interested in supporting people who just want attention.



Honestly, attention isn't always my center point. But sometimes I can't help wanting attention. It's kinda like a default setting for me.


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## Sergei Sóhomo (Oct 18, 2016)

Penny_Shavings109 said:


> Honestly, attention isn't always my center point. But sometimes I can't help wanting attention. It's kinda like a default setting for me.



Attention is fine mate

following the trend of "MY PRONOUNS OF XIR/XE/HILLARY" is when I just laugh


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## RileyTheOtter (Oct 18, 2016)

Penny_Shavings109 said:


> Honestly, attention isn't always my center point. But sometimes I can't help wanting attention. It's kinda like a default setting for me.


given the situation you mentioned in your OP, this is one occasion I have to agree with everyone else saying not to tell them.


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## BlueWorrior (Oct 18, 2016)

This seems to be a common issue many new members of the fandom run into.
It all depends on how well you know your parents and how honest you think you can be with them.
It's also a question of if they NEED to know or not.
I got lucky: my family all know now but they don't really care, probably because we're already a pretty. finding out I was a furry wasn't a big deal for them at all :L
But not all families are like that and from the sounds of it, you already have issues connecting with your parents.
So there is no real reason to let them know. I'm largely in agreement with everybody here (Yakamaru was pretty savage about it though, can't say I blame him for being cynical because we get this a LOT )


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## Somnium (Oct 18, 2016)

But perhaps she's _furrysexual? _


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## BlueWorrior (Oct 18, 2016)

Somnium said:


> But perhaps she's _furrysexual? _


she only mentions she has a 'passion' for anthropomorphic animals.
That doesn't sound particularly like a sexual thing, right?


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## Somnium (Oct 18, 2016)

BlueWorrior said:


> she only mentions she has a 'passion' for anthropomorphic animals.
> That doesn't sound particularly like a sexual thing, right?



No it sounds exactly like a sexual thing. This is how a dictionary describes passion: _a strong sexual or romantic feeling for someone_


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## BlueWorrior (Oct 18, 2016)

Somnium said:


> No it sounds exactly like a sexual thing.


lol I have a passion for music, but obviously don't treat it as anything sexual 
though to be fair the word passion can mean strong enthusiasm OR intense sexual love so....


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## Somnium (Oct 18, 2016)

BlueWorrior said:


> lol I have a passion for music, but obviously don't treat it as anything sexual



Just trust me, aspy (no insult)


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## BlueWorrior (Oct 18, 2016)

Somnium said:


> Just trust me, aspy (no insult)


wow, that was thrown in so casually I laughed out loud xD
Like I ain't even mad, that was amazing!


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## Penny_Shavings109 (Oct 18, 2016)

BlueWorrior said:


> lol I have a passion for music, but obviously don't treat it as anything sexual
> though to be fair the word passion can mean strong enthusiasm OR intense sexual love so....



Actually, he's right in a way. I'm not a human into furries though, I'm a furry into humans. Don't get me wrong, being a human with fur breaks all laws of biology, but seriously, I'm sure I'm not the first one to want to be an actual furry. Not like a fan, but like the things you guys draw. I prefer to be called Jessica now, I'm a Vixin with a turquoise mane and tail, but my bangs are a darker forest green. My fur is tan though, I'm a female obviously if know Jessica is a female name, (if you don't I don't know how you managed to find this website). But sadly, no humans appreciate me enough or they think I belong in the loony bin. I mean, I don't state things like this in public due to my parents of course. But yeah, I'm an anthropomorphic Vixin, or fox if you want to keep it short.


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## RileyTheOtter (Oct 18, 2016)

Penny_Shavings109 said:


> Actually, he's right in a way. I'm not a human into furries though, I'm a furry into humans. Don't get me wrong, being a human with fur breaks all laws of biology, but seriously, I'm sure I'm not the first one to want to be an actual furry. Not like a fan, but like the things you guys draw. I prefer to be called Jessica now, I'm a Vixin with a turquoise mane and tail, but my bangs are a darker forest green. My fur is tan though, I'm a female obviously if know Jessica is a female name, (if you don't I don't know how you managed to find this website). But sadly, no humans appreciate me enough or they think I belong in the loony bin. I mean, I don't state things like this in public due to my parents of course. But yeah, I'm an anthropomorphic Vixin, or fox if you want to keep it short.


so you're _that_ kind of therian...


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## Somnium (Oct 18, 2016)

Penny_Shavings109 said:


> Actually, he's right in a way. I'm not a human into furries though, I'm a furry into humans. Don't get me wrong, being a human with fur breaks all laws of biology, but seriously, I'm sure I'm not the first one to want to be an actual furry. Not like a fan, but like the things you guys draw. I prefer to be called Jessica now, I'm a Vixin with a turquoise mane and tail, but my bangs are a darker forest green. My fur is tan though, I'm a female obviously if know Jessica is a female name, (if you don't I don't know how you managed to find this website). But sadly, no humans appreciate me enough or they think I belong in the loony bin. I mean, I don't state things like this in public due to my parents of course. But yeah, I'm an anthropomorphic Vixin, or fox if you want to keep it short.



then you will need a fursuit. But sadly I can't see how could your parents take you seriously, so you better just don't tell them


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## BlueWorrior (Oct 18, 2016)

Penny_Shavings109 said:


> Actually, he's right in a way. I'm not a human into furries though, I'm a furry into humans. Don't get me wrong, being a human with fur breaks all laws of biology, but seriously, I'm sure I'm not the first one to want to be an actual furry. Not like a fan, but like the things you guys draw. I prefer to be called Jessica now, I'm a Vixin with a turquoise mane and tail, but my bangs are a darker forest green. My fur is tan though, I'm a female obviously if know Jessica is a female name, (if you don't I don't know how you managed to find this website). But sadly, no humans appreciate me enough or they think I belong in the loony bin. I mean, I don't state things like this in public due to my parents of course. But yeah, I'm an anthropomorphic Vixin, or fox if you want to keep it short.


I appreciate the honesty! Although I can't say I can offer any advice on stuff like that.


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## zackym (Oct 18, 2016)

Easy! Don't hahah.


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## heteroclite (Oct 18, 2016)

Just do it and deal with it if they don't like it.


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## Ama L. Thea (Oct 18, 2016)

I wouldn't. It's not like being transgender, I don't think. Re: the fandom, I don't think it matters much in the grand scheme of things. You're still you. 

I hope things work out for you, though.


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## Shameful_Cole (Oct 18, 2016)

Penny_Shavings109 said:


> Actually, he's right in a way. I'm not a human into furries though, I'm a furry into humans. Don't get me wrong, being a human with fur breaks all laws of biology, but seriously, I'm sure I'm not the first one to want to be an actual furry. Not like a fan, but like the things you guys draw. I prefer to be called Jessica now, I'm a Vixin with a turquoise mane and tail, but my bangs are a darker forest green. My fur is tan though, I'm a female obviously if know Jessica is a female name, (if you don't I don't know how you managed to find this website). But sadly, no humans appreciate me enough or they think I belong in the loony bin. I mean, I don't state things like this in public due to my parents of course. But yeah, I'm an anthropomorphic Vixin, or fox if you want to keep it short.


Whoa, okay, slow down. You need to be clear here.  Do you believe that you are a human, or do you believe that you are an animal or anthropomorphic animal? Despite neither excluding the other, there still is a huge difference between being a furry and being Otherkin/Therian (Sorry to those in those groups for lumping it together; I forgot the differences). You seem to be equating your interests with your beliefs, especially with statements that said, "But yeah, I'm an anthropomorphic Vixin, or fox if you want to keep it short," [_sic_]. Many furries are fine with drawing themselves as anthropomorphic animals, but for the most part, they all remember that it is not a truth, just an activity.


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## RileyTheOtter (Oct 18, 2016)

Shameful_Cole said:


> Whoa, okay, slow down. You need to be clear here.  Do you believe that you are a human, or do you believe that you are an animal or anthropomorphic animal? Despite neither excluding the other, there still is a huge difference between being a furry and being Otherkin/Therian (Sorry to those in those groups for lumping it together; I forgot the differences). You seem to be equating your interests with your beliefs, especially with statements that said, "But yeah, I'm an anthropomorphic Vixin, or fox if you want to keep it short," [_sic_]. Many furries are fine with drawing themselves as anthropomorphic animals, but for the most part, they all remember that it is not a truth, just an activity.


Therians are limited to real animals, otherkin include everything else


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## JumboWumbo (Oct 18, 2016)

Penny_Shavings109 said:


> Actually, he's right in a way. I'm not a human into furries though, I'm a furry into humans. Don't get me wrong, being a human with fur breaks all laws of biology, but seriously, I'm sure I'm not the first one to want to be an actual furry. Not like a fan, but like the things you guys draw. I prefer to be called Jessica now, I'm a Vixin with a turquoise mane and tail, but my bangs are a darker forest green. My fur is tan though, I'm a female obviously if know Jessica is a female name, (if you don't I don't know how you managed to find this website). But sadly, no humans appreciate me enough or they think I belong in the loony bin. I mean, I don't state things like this in public due to my parents of course. But yeah, I'm an anthropomorphic Vixin, or fox if you want to keep it short.


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## Sergei Sóhomo (Oct 18, 2016)

You do what any respectable person does and keep it to yourself

Besides, you said your parents will never accept you as something different than your real gender so ya know, kind of a bad idea to tell them something about furries. More so if they research it and find all the easy to find vile shit about it

Use common sense bruh


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## Deleted member 82554 (Oct 18, 2016)

I'm not usually one to crap on another's beliefs, but if you truly believe you're an otherkin you definitely don't want to say anything. Being transgender is one thing, it's been around for a long time and as a result society has had a chance to adjust to that ideology, but telling people you believe you're an animal stuck in a human body and that the furry fandom is how you express that side of yourself will earn you a one way ticket to the nuthouse, you're just asking for trouble.


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## Sergei Sóhomo (Oct 18, 2016)

Mr. Fox said:


> I'm not usually one to crap on another's beliefs, but if you truly believe you're a therian you definitely don't want to say anything. Being transgender is one thing, it's been around for a long time and as a result society has had a chance to adjust to that ideology, but telling people you believe you're an animal stuck in a human body and that the furry fandom is how you express that side of yourself will earn you a one way ticket to the nuthouse, you're just asking for trouble.



Holy shit did they actually say they were an otherkin? Yeah, just not say that to anyone

Like ever

No seriously, never tell anyone this. If you do, they will never take you seriously and you'll likely end up being shunned. No one believes nor cares about that stuff and it's good for you to understand that you keep stuff like that to yourself in the real world. You're free to believe what you want but you've gotta realize that the real world will shit all over you for even the slightest deviation from societal norms. Last I remember, transgender is labelled as like "gender dysphoria" or something along those lines. By telling people you're not a human...

Well

Have fun with that


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## Troj (Oct 18, 2016)

Relevant: http://www.thestranger.com/slog/201...e-letter-of-the-day-cockyboys-shymoms-armpits

Basically, a trans kid writes into Savage Love, and wants to share their passion for porn and their desire to work for an ethical porn company with their mom. Dan Savage gives the kid advice that is relevant for furries, therians, and others looking to "come out" to people they love about things they're excited about.


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## Sergei Sóhomo (Oct 18, 2016)

Troj said:


> Relevant: http://www.thestranger.com/slog/201...e-letter-of-the-day-cockyboys-shymoms-armpits




I don't want to be put on some CIA watchlist, thanks


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## Deleted member 82554 (Oct 18, 2016)

Penny_Shavings109 said:


> Actually, he's right in a way. I'm not a human into furries though, I'm a furry into humans. Don't get me wrong, being a human with fur breaks all laws of biology, but seriously, I'm sure I'm not the first one to want to be an actual furry. Not like a fan, but like the things you guys draw. I prefer to be called Jessica now, I'm a Vixin with a turquoise mane and tail, but my bangs are a darker forest green. My fur is tan though, I'm a female obviously if know Jessica is a female name, (if you don't I don't know how you managed to find this website). But sadly, no humans appreciate me enough or they think I belong in the loony bin. I mean, I don't state things like this in public due to my parents of course. But yeah, I'm an anthropomorphic Vixin, or fox if you want to keep it short.





Sergei Sóhomo said:


> Holy shit did they actually say they were an otherkin?


Thought I mixed up my terminologies.

Although she doesn't specifically mention "Otherkin", one would assume that's what she implies...


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## Sergei Sóhomo (Oct 18, 2016)

Mr. Fox said:


> Thought I mixed up my terminologies.
> 
> Although she doesn't specifically mention "Otherkin", one would assume that's what she implies...



I only read transgender and immediately stopped so I don't actually know what they said


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## Shameful_Cole (Oct 18, 2016)

Mr. Fox said:


> Thought I mixed up my terminologies.
> 
> Although she doesn't specifically mention "Otherkin", one would assume that's what she implies...


This is why I asked the OP to be clear.


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## Sergei Sóhomo (Oct 18, 2016)

Shameful_Cole said:


> This is why I asked the OP to be clear.





Mr. Fox said:


> Thought I mixed up my terminologies.
> 
> Although she doesn't specifically mention "Otherkin", one would assume that's what she implies...



Found it. Very clearly otherkin. Therian at the very least is more of "I have a spirit animal"

For reference:



Penny_Shavings109 said:


> ...I'm a furry into humans.I prefer to be called Jessica now, I'm a Vixin with a turquoise mane and tail, but my bangs are a darker forest green. My fur is tan though, I'm a female obviously if know Jessica is a female name, ... I'm an anthropomorphic Vixin, or fox if you want to keep it short.


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## Penny_Shavings109 (Jan 10, 2017)

Sergei Sóhomo said:


> Found it. Very clearly otherkin. Therian at the very least is more of "I have a spirit animal"
> 
> For reference:


That is quite correct. Although I've always wondered if Jessica is my spirit animal.


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## Alex K (Jan 25, 2017)

Well if you're really that much of an animal lover just ask your parents for a bastard or pussy or whatever you are into. 
It ain't that hard to ask


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## Ieatcrackersandjumpcliffs (Jan 27, 2017)

Everything is good in moderation. Jogging, eating, drinking, et cetera! That includes the fandom. 

Your sexual interest in anthropomorphic animals is not that of a sexuality. It feels that way because you are almost exclusively into them sexual wise and by now it's has turned into a pride thing with you. You identify as transgendered and have done what many have done before you. You have blurred the lined between your pride of your sexuality with your extreme liking of the fandom. It's very, very common so don't feel bad or alone about that. The furry fandom is purely fantasy and should stay so. The deeper issue might be that you have isolated yourself from everyone because you are trans and have found this tribe and are overly embracing it to compensate for the, well, isolation. Probably rejections, too. That is an absolutely normal thing to do, so, again, don't feel bad, but that does not mean it's a good or healthy thing to do. The fandom is a deep, dark void and I suggest you don't stare into the abyss or else you end up like that fat chick in front of a WalMart or whatever ranting to strangers in a fursuit about the mundanes (is that even used anymore?)not understanding the fandom and her.  

I suggest you do something that would allow you to mediate and reflect. On what? I dunno. Let your mind ask. Philosophy is kind of liberating. For me at least. 

I'm on only every few years. I only logged on on a whim. But if you you are seriously interested in advice I will do my best.


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## Anthropomorphic Human (Jan 28, 2017)

Question. What exactly do you hope to achieve by "coming out" to your _parents_ as an internet weirdo who sexually identifies as something that isn't real?

Do you think it will improve your life and make you feel better?

Well... it [expletive] won't. There is a zero percent chance of anything good at all resulting from that, and a 100% chance of your life becoming at _least_ 100% worse than it is now.

My advice is to find some fellow lgbt individuals to hang out with irl, tell them about the trans thing but _not_ the furry thing, and then hope you eventually quit feeling like a fox. Cause that should really be your ultimate goal here.


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## Alex K (Jan 28, 2017)

Anthropomorphic Human said:


> Question. What exactly do you hope to achieve by "coming out" to your _parents_ as an internet weirdo who sexually identifies as something that isn't real?
> 
> Do you think it will improve your life and make you feel better?
> 
> ...



Now hang on a sec. There ain't nothin wrong with liking animals. Your suggestion is asking him to bend the laws of physics...


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## Lexiand (Jan 28, 2017)

RULE #1
Don't do it unless you want to be screwed by your mom.

RULE #2
Don't trust your parents when it comes to understanding what furry is.


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## AdelynBlair (Feb 1, 2017)

I just ended up telling my parents that I love Japanese anime. I didn't think it was a big deal. I would suggest slipping it into a casual conversation. That worked for me anyway. What I am saying is that it shouldn't matter if you are a furry or not.


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## Aces (Feb 2, 2017)

Penny_Shavings109 said:


> That is quite correct. Although I've always wondered if Jessica is my spirit animal.



I have an idea!
Take this "Jessica," and put her in a book.
Write a book. Explore what it is you're feeling through the written word. If your parents ask, tell them that you're trying to write a book, and a turquoise fox is an important part of the story. That's something I think that would both be more palatable to your parents and give you a constructive direction to put this confusion.

And yes, what you're feeling is confusion. I'm not saying that its wrong- heck, you can be confused about mathematics and they aren't exactly going to change their properties any time soon -but being a teenager is friggin _aweful _sometimes. You're coming into your own as an autonomous person, being thrust into a new world of responsibilities, experiences and information, and you simply haven't had a chance yet to figure it all out yet. And then you have those horrible hormonal shifts (doubly so with sex transition stuff, I imagine) and are expected to just be able to spout out a cohesive understanding of it all?

If I were in your shoes, (and I was in my own set of rompers as a teen) I'd just try to channel all the this into something creative and buckle down until it makes more sense. And it does get better.

I do have to agree that you don't need to "come out" as a furry. The inclination on doing so is more or less an expression of one's shame- that you have an interest that you see few people around you engaging in, so you're naturally inclined to have it "vetted" by someone you perceive as authority. Don't feel shame. (NGL, I'm still working on that myself here, and I'm a decade older than you. No need to rush it)


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## Shameful_Cole (Feb 2, 2017)

"Penny_Shavings109 was last seen:
Jan 10, 2017"

Now that the formatting is fucked up, she doesn't watch the forums anymore guys. There was a solid few months between the last two responses she gave, the latter one of which pretty much only said that she was otherkin.


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## Martin2W (Feb 2, 2017)

You dont tell them if you want to live


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## ShadowDemon1996 (Feb 3, 2017)

You just tell them, Or dont. Honestly my family figured it out on there own, they think its weird, but im weird so hahahah also i dont care what people think and no one really freaked out, actually they ask me like what we all do here like there interested in my hobby.


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