# Is it possible to outgrow/get over a fursona?



## BlackDragonAJ89 (Feb 1, 2020)

So earlier this year, I created a thread where I discussed how I couldn't figure out what I really wanted my fursona to be. The more I think about the issue, the more I wonder not just what species I should use, or if I should even have a fursona at all. After all, I am a talentless nobody, I don't really have any big personality quirks, and I don't really seem to "fit in" anywhere I go. I really just see my persona as being more of an archetype than a persona.

I just wonder if it's common for people to play around with a species, then find themselves looking elsewhere because the species they thought was a good fit for them was actually not what they wanted. Hell, I wonder if it's actually possible to be a furry and not have a fursona.


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## Kit H. Ruppell (Feb 1, 2020)

I've abandoned a couple alts over the years, but I'll probably always have my fox.


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## Breyo (Feb 1, 2020)

I'm sure you aren't a "talentless nobody"! Sometimes you just gotta look at yourself in depth to find out what you excel at. Lots of times, what we're good at isn't made apparent right away. Just know that there is something out there that you're good at! Everyone has some kind of niche 

I'll spare you from anymore of my sappiness now, hehe. In the short while that I've been in the fandom, I've seen tons of people that have multiple fursonas. Most times, I feel that people have multiple sonas because they could be experimenting to see what species best fits their personality, appearance, etc.

Also, regarding "being a furry and not having a fursona", I'm pretty sure that's possible. Heck, it isn't like anyone can stop you, right?

Honestly, I wouldn't beat yourself up too hard over it. Sometimes these things take a while, and that's ok! You'll find what fits you eventually


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## BlackDragonAJ89 (Feb 1, 2020)

BreyoGP said:


> I'll spare you from anymore of my sappiness now, hehe. In the short while that I've been in the fandom, I've seen tons of people that have multiple fursonas. Most times, I feel that people have multiple sonas because they could be experimenting to see what species best fits their personality, appearance, etc.



I mean yeah, that's true... But I've been in this fandom for a good 15 or so years now. I'd assume I'd come to a definite conclusion.


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## Nyro46 (Feb 2, 2020)

Yeah, I've changed my fursona quite a bit over the years due to either outgrowing them or because other reasons. I also have a few characters I consider "fursonas" (with the main one being basically a replica of me, and the couple others being a bit different from me in some ways). I've outgrown some of my past main fursonas either due to me thinking the species didn't suit me (particularly with my first main sona from 2010) or because I had developed an association to a bad experience/memory with the fursona that I wanted to detach from. My current main sona I made this year and luckily I don't feel they are or will be associated with any significant occurrence/memory, so they'll probably last a lot longer as my main fursona. But even then I don't always use my main sona as an avatar picture or whatever, I use my other characters or secondary sonas a lot (for example Nyro, he is more of a story character but I refer to him as a secondary sona since I have used him to represent me / my accounts a lot, but he is also very different from me as a character).

You can definitely still be a furry without having an actual fursona, though. You can just use like a regular character that doesn't have much to do with yourself. (Or you don't even need to have characters if you don't want to). There aren't really any prerequisites to "being a furry" as it's mostly just being a fan of anthropomorphic animal characters.


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## Breyo (Feb 2, 2020)

BlackDragonAJ89 said:


> I mean yeah, that's true... But I've been in this fandom for a good 15 or so years now. I'd assume I'd come to a definite conclusion.


Everyone is different! For some people, they can make up their mind immediately, and others are a little indecisive. Both types of people are perfectly fine 

If I had a penny for every time I saw a different fursona species and thought, "Huh, that's neat! I wish I would've considered that before picking a guinea pig." I'd be rich! I just remember why I picked a guinea pig and I regret nothing. Just like people, each animal species has their own unique charm. It can just take a little while to discover it! I've seen a couple people on the forums who don't have a fursona and are still furries, so even if you don't think you can find one, that's a-ok!


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## BlackDragonAJ89 (Feb 2, 2020)

BreyoGP said:


> If I had a penny for every time I saw a different fursona species and thought, "Huh, that's neat! I wish I would've considered that before picking a guinea pig." I'd be rich! I just remember why I picked a guinea pig and I regret nothing. Just like people, each animal species has their own unique charm. It can just take a little while to discover it! I've seen a couple people on the forums who don't have a fursona and are still furries, so even if you don't think you can find one, that's a-ok!



I just don't know when I'm gonna find it.


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## Breyo (Feb 2, 2020)

BlackDragonAJ89 said:


> I just don't know when I'm gonna find it.


I'm glad that you said "when I'm gonna find it" and not "if I'm gonna find it" 

Even you subconsciously know that you'll be able to find it eventually. You just need time


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## Pipistrele (Feb 2, 2020)

More or less. I had my sonas redesigned several times until I found that perfect look that I stuck with for years.


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## Tendo64 (Feb 2, 2020)

Maybe fursonas just aren't your thing. It is definitely possible to be a furry and not have one, plenty of furries don't.


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## Kinare (Feb 2, 2020)

BlackDragonAJ89 said:


> Hell, I wonder if it's actually possible to be a furry and not have a fursona.



It is possible, yes. The fandom is just a bunch of people who like anthro characters, it doesn't mean you have to have one representing you! It's just a very common feature so you're not the first to think you're forced to have one. Maybe you'll find something that fits down the line like I did. It took me a long time to be inspired enough to create my sona, same might be true for you too. You may never have a sona, and that's ok too. Just hang out and enjoy the fandom in other ways. :3


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## Ziggy Schlacht (Feb 2, 2020)

You know most of us are faking it right? It's a bit cliche, but don't compare your outtakes to everyone else's highlight real. The biggest myth of success is that the successful people feel like they belong there - a lot don't. Impostor Syndrome is a big thing, too. With that in mind, you don't need a fursona, god knows I lurked for years (...maybe actually 15, coincidentally) before deciding to actively participate. However, I have a bit of a feeling you're trying to have the "coolest" fursona. Who are you trying to impress? In the end, the only one who matters is you.


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## MaelstromEyre (Feb 3, 2020)

Yes.
You can outgrow it, or feel like you cannot relate to it at all anymore.

At that point, you have the option to change little bits of it, or just start over with a new one.

Whether you simply retire the old one, or sell it, is up to you.  I don't know if they might regret it later.


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## Deleted member 132067 (Feb 3, 2020)

Tastes change, people change, so does (or rather could) your view towards your fusona change.
Which is fine, as long as you don't open a thread à la "I fail to feel connected to my sona and now my whole life is in shambles!!!"


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## Paws the Opinicus (Feb 3, 2020)

Abandoned being Psyra [Extraordinaire] right about the same time I left Second Life in roughly 2008. Of which I had been since about 1984. Er, being Psyra that is, not being in Second Life. 

I still use the name for gaming, but as far as /here/ is concerned, I'm not Psyra any more. 

Just didn't feel connected with him any more. It happens. :>


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## BlackDragonAJ89 (Feb 3, 2020)

@Ziggy Schlacht 

True, it is all pretend, but you wouldn't really want an actor who's a brilliant comedian to try to play a serious villain. It's less about impressing someone and more about avoiding pissing people off/annoying people.

@ClumsyWitch 

Well hopefully I don't come off that way, seeing that this isn't a massive problem, but certainly is a bit of annoyance about how I constantly sift through things.


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## Deleted member 132067 (Feb 3, 2020)

BlackDragonAJ89 said:


> @Ziggy Schlacht
> 
> True, it is all pretend, but you wouldn't really want an actor who's a brilliant comedian to try to play a serious villain. It's less about impressing someone and more about avoiding pissing people off/annoying people.
> 
> ...


Don't worry, you don't c:


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## HistoricalyIncorrect (Feb 3, 2020)

My sona is just me in setting which I like most, namely history. This is still form of acting though so I don't think you can grow iut of it. You can grow out from edgy demigod, black wolf characters with demonic arm and massive fuck-off swords in Devil May Cry fashion but out of sona? Its just not for everyone I guess


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## Punk_M0nitor (Feb 18, 2020)

I think it's entirely possible to outgrow a sona for a variety of reasons. Even sonas you think of as raw (or nearly raw) representations of yourself can grow tiresome to keep if you've gone through a major life change. I actually had a very difficult time _making_ a fursona because I was too worried about uniqueness than authenticity---I kept jumping from sona to sona for the sake of the character's superficial aesthetic. Some of my past sonas were even ditched because I associated them with a very negative time in my life that I later wanted to get away from. Just as you can stop relating to any kind of character, you can stop relating to a fursona, or find that the fursona you _thought_ you related to was actually more contrived than you originally planned.



BlackDragonAJ89 said:


> I just wonder if it's common for people to play around with a species, then find themselves looking elsewhere because the species they thought was a good fit for them was actually not what they wanted. Hell, I wonder if it's actually possible to be a furry and not have a fursona.


Experimenting with species and different character concepts is _essential_ to creating a fursona. I actually ended up looking beyond the scope of mammals because I couldn't find one that fit after several years of trying, then found that monitor lizard suited me best. This is also a big reason some people have multiple fursonas---they might be unable to narrow down the many ideas they have to one character and create multiple fursonas that capture different aspects of themselves, or different aesthetics/concepts they relate to.

As for 'finding a fursona', I wouldn't stress too much about it. Trying too hard to find something might just ultimately lead to looking in the wrong places. Hell, having a sona isn't exactly a necessity. It's kind of like saying you have to have a fursuit or be an artist to be a furry; it's totally arbitrary. Having a fursona isn't for everyone. You're no less of a furry for not having a fursona.


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## BlackDragonAJ89 (Feb 18, 2020)

@Punk_M0nitor 

All understandable and reasonable, but I think I'm not explaining what my true concern is here (not just at you, but to everyone else).

The thing is, it's not so much about how the character looks, dresses, and does some things. I've technically settled on a specific look and personality for a sona for quite some time now that I pretty much have an "archetype" to go by. Species is the big hang up for me because it's not just about authenticity for me but also how others see me.

For instance, one time in Second Life, I went around as a beefy bird thinking it was all fine and dandy, until I had a few people tell me that my avatar was wrong because it makes no sense for birds to be beefy. So I changed to a horse... Only for a few days later to stumble upon someone who hated horses. Then I went onto shark, only to learn about how people in general didn't like them, then on to other things. At some point I just wondered how anyone actually did anything on Second Life since it seems like there were more things you shouldn't do than you could do, according to user profiles at least.

Furry stereotypes are a thing, and I really don't want people to assume the worst. One also has to factor in symbolism from beyond the fandom as well; you wouldn't want some bumbling American using a panda as a fursona, for example.


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## Punk_M0nitor (Feb 19, 2020)

@BlackDragonAJ89
Unfortunately, there are going to be people who don't like just about any species you might choose. Some people simply aren't fans of certain animals, the way they look, or the characteristic stigmas attached to them (like someone having a dominant and austere fox fursona when foxes in the fandom are typically portrayed as playful and submissive). In that sense, I say you do you. There is no right or wrong way to portray an anthropomorphic animal and breaking the mold can even spark some people's interest. You can always host polls asking what animal people think would fit you best or take online quizzes and compile the results. Hybrid sonas are also an option, although I'm not sure if that's quite your taste. Shapeshifting or mythical creatures also tend to have a fair bit of popularity.

As far as symbolism goes, as long as you aren't being disrespectful, I see little issue, although controversy is something to get easily hung up on and I understand the concern. If you want to find an animal that is symbolically fitting of your 'archetype', however, I recommend looking into folklore. You can find a lot of interesting results for animals you may not have even considered, or learn more about specific animals and their symbolic influence in the real world (my sona, for example, is a monitor lizard, known in some cultures to be harbingers of bad luck, and my sona is a very unlucky, solitary, and temperamental fellow).

TL;DR: I don't fault you at all for being concerned or discouraged by people's negative input regarding certain species, since that can indeed be less than helpful, but it may be in your best interest to be a tad less concerned about people's opinions of the species that you choose. There will unfortunately be disagreement for any given facet of a character simply for the fact that people have their personal biases.


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## Solcte (Feb 19, 2020)

BlackDragonAJ89 said:


> @Punk_M0nitor
> 
> All understandable and reasonable, but I think I'm not explaining what my true concern is here (not just at you, but to everyone else).
> 
> ...



I can understand this concern over what your fursona species means to other people around you. I went through a bit of this myself what I was agonizing over what species and how my character would appear to others. Frankly, I still think about this! But I've learned that MY fursona is what I want it to be, what I want it to represent. If other people misread that, it's really not my business. 

This is really akin to choosing your daily wardrobe. Someone out there will always judge you based on how you look, it's an unfortunate part of our nature. The best thing we can do is try to avoid biases and do what's good for US. 

What does your fursona mean to you? So far, I've designed my fursonas to represent an aspect of myself I would like to bring out/improve/highlight. I'm still in love with my main 'sona, but I have already begun developing others because she has served her purpose - she has already helped me. It's okay to have multiple 'sonas, it's okay to move on. 

It's even okay to have no fursona at all! There are definitely people in the fandom without them and there's nothing wrong with that. I guess my best advice is, you do you. Don't worry about what others think, because this is for you.


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## Ra'ara Su'nai (Feb 19, 2020)

Days, months, years. As time passes, we all change. Nothing ever stays the same. What felt right yesteryear may not feel right today. Part of being a furry is being creative. Part of being creative is sometimes scrapping the old to start the new. If you don't feel right with your fursona anymore, that's not a bad thing. It just means your tastes are changing. Don't be afraid to try new things. In the end, the only person a fursona should impress and matter to is you.

I mean, look at mine. A teal and purple fox, with nothing really special about him, but I like him. That's what matters.


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## SundayBest (Feb 20, 2020)

As long as it brings you joy for even a short period of time, a fursona has served its purpose. I had some when I was younger that I have completely outgrown. That's because the young teenager Sunday was a very different person from today's 23-going-on-83 Sunday. I don't know if it's an unpopular opinion, but I don't think of fursona's as something permanent or all that special. I made Sunday Best when I was stressed out and wanted a character that didn't worry about the little things in life. I love her a lot and she makes me happy, but when she stops making me happy I won't be sad to sit down and create a fursona that better fits me. At the end of the day, I don't care what anyone else's opinions are because a fursona is personal. The only opinion that matters is yours. And, if the thought of committing to a fursona is stressful, then you don't need to do it. Fursonas are optional. They're fun, but they're also just characters that act as self-inserts imo. 

You know what doesn't make you happy, so start looking for what does. Take a breather, you're doing just fine.


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## blue sky love (Feb 21, 2020)

I outgrew Mellie the jungle cat!

Now I'm Missy, the house cat.


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## Dexin (Feb 28, 2020)

BlackDragonAJ89 said:


> I mean yeah, that's true... But I've been in this fandom for a good 15 or so years now. I'd assume I'd come to a definite conclusion.



Not necessarily... If being in the fandom a long time automatically meant knowing your species, I doubt there would be so many shapshifters, alternate forms, and "secondary sonas" out there ^_^ 

And as far as changing fursonas, that's not unheard of either. I myself took 2+ years and went thru Cat > Panda > Goat > Dinosaur > Digimon > Original Species, before finally landing on Alien Dog Hybrid (which for the time being fits) I say you do you. If something feels right, use that. If not don't pressure yourself. I don't think anyone is going to like exclude you from the fandome or something just cause you don't have one/can't decide. That'd be stupid.


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## BlackDragonAJ89 (Feb 28, 2020)

@Dexin 

I've gone through several species and never really felt satisfied with any of them, but I think what makes matters worse is often how others see those choices.

If you pick a dragon, you're an egomaniac with no creativity, for instance. Furry stereotypes are a thing I tend to take note of.

You can see my original thread where I go over my own issues in more detail here: https://forums.furaffinity.net/threads/idenitiy-crisis.1664928/


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## Jackpot Raccuki (Feb 28, 2020)

Me: *Makes a new OC*
New OC: *Is enjoyable*
Fursona:






Ngl, I kinda feel like I'm going to end up replacing him, but Jackpot is more of my roleplay fursona, Like is my general fursona, the guy who is actually me.
I guess now I have a "real life" fursona and "online" fursona.


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## Herdingcats (Feb 28, 2020)

I'm familiar with the feeling. I'm not an interesting person and my life is boring, so I sometimes wonder why I bother trying to make a sona. But I still have one. Sometimes I've thought about making an alt OC with a cooler story. Haven't done it yet.

I have changed fursonas many times over the years. I can't count how many species I've tried to stick with and failed. But I used to try: otter, baku, protogen, cat, manokit, gryphon, fluffy dragon, goat, kitsune, husky, wolf, pigeon, deer... the list goes on. For now, my fursona is a rat. Idk how long it'll last but I like the species.


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