# What's your courtship ritual?



## KILL.MAIM.KILL (Aug 11, 2018)

The question is simple: how does your kind attract a mate?

Like most males of my kind, I begin by making myself as beautiful as possible to attract a mate. This involves collecting and wearing a lot of shiny things. 

Then, when a potential mate shows interest, I perform an elaborate ritual of showing off, singing, and screeching. If I like them enough, I may also try to win them over by gifting them some of my shinies. 

If they accept my invitation and become my mate, I attempt to impress them further by building a nest. 

It's a foolproof system. 
You mammals will never live up to this level of ingenuity.


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## CertifiedCervine (Aug 11, 2018)

Scent is apperantly very important for my species, I should go find some of those air freshener trees to hang on my antlers
XD


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## Dongding (Aug 11, 2018)

Lip synching pop music poorly. The more poorly, the more tail clambers my way all desperate-like.


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## AwoDee (Aug 11, 2018)

I challenge them to a fight to the death. Wait. Maybe that's why I'm forever alone, I keep winning.


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## Pompadork (Aug 11, 2018)

I just do this outside their house at some ungodly hour until they either notice me or call the cops.


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## Skychickens (Aug 12, 2018)

Do a lot of work and odd experiments. 

Considering I’m married, something worked.


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## Folhester (Aug 12, 2018)

Apparently crossplaying in a drama play with gross make-up and poor singing skills did the deed for me.
Follow your dreams kids.


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## Sarachaga (Aug 12, 2018)

I sit around on my chair and post memes on the internet :y


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## Water Draco (Aug 12, 2018)

Firstly I find a nice large moss covered rock.

Then sit under it.


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## Lunchtime (Aug 12, 2018)

Skateboarding out of a friggin' crashing helicopter!


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## Mikazuki Marazhu (Aug 12, 2018)

Ritual? What ritual?

I just say "I like ye alot" and it's done deal. :V


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## Lucidic (Aug 12, 2018)

Courting them into a Satanic ritual.

If they liked me enough, they'd be willing to make sacrifices.


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## Infrarednexus (Aug 12, 2018)

I identify all other competitors and eliminate the targets with tactical precision. I then analyze the potential mates emotional stress levels and pacify it with a romantic display until I detect a rise in arousal.

It is 100% effective with minimal biological casualties, unless they reply with "no thanks", to which I was programmed to accept as a deny to consent.


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## KILL.MAIM.KILL (Aug 12, 2018)

Infrarednexus said:


> I identify all other competitors and eliminate the targets with tactical precision. I then analyze the potential mates emotional stress levels and pacify it with a romantic display until I detect a rise in arousal.
> 
> It is 100% effective with minimal casualties, unless they reply with "no thanks", to which I was programmed to accept as a deny to consent.



I didn't think that androids needed to mate. Can't you just send a request to the factory to make a new one?


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## Infrarednexus (Aug 12, 2018)

KILL.MAIM.KILL said:


> I didn't think that androids needed to mate. Can't you just send a request to the factory to make a new one?


There are some things in my life a fellow machine cannot fulfill, no matter how complex their A.I is. My life can be empty and lacking in romance, plus I need someone to clean the house while I'm gone, and my roomba can't go up and down stairs.


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## Slytherin Umbreon (Aug 12, 2018)

Sarachaga said:


> I sit around on my chair and post memes on the internet :y


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## zenmaldita (Aug 12, 2018)

I bring out the cash.


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## Zekkarion (Aug 12, 2018)

Trying to not annoy her with grumbling or religions and, only after that, trying to seduce her "old school" style, as I'm not skilled in that


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## Belatucadros (Aug 12, 2018)

I get all poofy and squawk over and over again until they notice me...


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## Ramjet (Aug 12, 2018)

Run in the opposite direction very fast to avoid contagion of my own narrative.


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## Derron116 (Aug 12, 2018)

Traditionally the male, over a period of time, must prove to the female that he is able to provide for the pack and once a day must attempt a courtship dance (consisting of puffed feathers and little dancing displays)

*Results may vary*

*In same-sex and non-binary relationships replace "male" with "submissive partner" and "female" with "dominant partner." Polyamorous couplings are much more complex*


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## Oblique Lynx (Aug 12, 2018)

Us lynxes just laze around for 18 hours a day then spend the other 6 sleeping. Sometimes we'll toss it up by sleeping for a whole 7 hours.


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## CertifiedCervine (Aug 12, 2018)

Derron116 said:


> *Results may vary*


Have no idea why I laughed so hard


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## Xitheon (Aug 12, 2018)

I vomit on their shoes.


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## Nihles (Aug 12, 2018)

I just post pictures of my butt on dating apps.  For some reason I still can't get any matches


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## ShyFox (Aug 12, 2018)

The vulpine master race does not reveal their secrets! We are not the most irresistible species for no reason. Ha!


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## Infrarednexus (Aug 12, 2018)

ShyFox said:


> The vulpine master race does not reveal their secrets! We are not the most irresistible species for no reason. Ha!


You had my heart at "vulpine" <3


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## Nihles (Aug 12, 2018)

ShyFox said:


> The vulpine master race does not reveal their secrets! We are not the most irresistible species for no reason. Ha!


You mean walking around asking everyone "wanna..._rp_?"
Oh, dangit.


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## ShyFox (Aug 12, 2018)

Nihles said:


> You mean walking around asking everyone "wanna..._rp_?"
> Oh, dangit.



Ha! Cautious Youngblood! Do not reveal our secrets yet.


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## Nihles (Aug 12, 2018)

ShyFox said:


> Ha! Cautious Youngblood! Do not reveal our secrets yet.


O c'mon! Shows what you know.  Even if they DID know they wouldn't be able to use them without natural fox charm =3


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## David Drake (Aug 12, 2018)

I try to get to know them as a person, share thr kind of person I am in return, and bond over shared likes and experiences.


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## KILL.MAIM.KILL (Aug 12, 2018)

Nihles said:


> You mean walking around asking everyone "wanna..._rp_?"
> Oh, dangit.



More like presenting their rears to anyone they meet.
Foxes have no class.


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## Nihles (Aug 12, 2018)

KILL.MAIM.KILL said:


> More like presenting their rears to anyone they meet.
> Foxes have no class.


But plenty of ass!


Spoiler: Sorry!


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## Nihles (Aug 12, 2018)

Lucidic said:


> Courting them into a Satanic ritual.
> 
> If they liked me enough, they'd be willing to make sacrifices.


And you seemed so sweet at first.


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## KILL.MAIM.KILL (Aug 12, 2018)

Nihles said:


> But plenty of ass!
> 
> 
> Spoiler: Sorry!
> ...



Low quality, trashy ass.
I am a man of good taste, so I only go for the most exquisite of ass.


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## Tabitha (Aug 12, 2018)

Put egg! Put egg!! Then swim away.

Then, whatever happens is not my problem anymore. _Very romantic._


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## Lucidic (Aug 12, 2018)

Nihles said:


> And you seemed so sweet at first.



*I am the Queen of Deception *
Who honestly wouldn't hurt a fly.


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## Okami_No_Heishi (Aug 12, 2018)

We circle each other slowly, menacingly, then she throws gas on me and sets me on fire!!!!


Jk!


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## Nihles (Aug 13, 2018)

Okami_No_Heishi said:


> We circle each other slowly, menacingly, then she throws gas on me and sets me on fire!!!!
> 
> 
> Jk!


Anything to keep the bedroom hot, right? Married couples get _weird_ when you give them enough years.


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## Okami_No_Heishi (Aug 13, 2018)

Nihles said:


> Anything to keep the bedroom hot, right? Married couples get _weird_ when you give them enough years.


Lol! You have no idea!!!*crazy scientist laugh*


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## bhutrflai (Aug 13, 2018)

Okami_No_Heishi said:


> We circle each other slowly, menacingly, then she throws gas on me and sets me on fire!!!!
> 
> 
> Jk!


I might have thought of this a time or two...



Nihles said:


> Anything to keep the bedroom hot, right? Married couples get _weird_ when you give them enough years.


We've been the weird 'that couple' since the beginning, so the almost 20yrs together means we should be completely loony by the end of the year!


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## Okami_No_Heishi (Aug 13, 2018)

bhutrflai said:


> I might have thought of this a time or two...
> 
> 
> We've been the weird 'that couple' since the beginning, so the almost 20yrs together means we should be completely loony by the end of the year!


Lmao!!*shakes head up and down in agreement*


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## Nihles (Aug 13, 2018)

bhutrflai said:


> I might have thought of this a time or two...
> 
> 
> We've been the weird 'that couple' since the beginning, so the almost 20yrs together means we should be completely loony by the end of the year!


Promise me you won't take the whole town down with you when you go, alright?


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## Casey Fluffbat (Aug 14, 2018)

Being as distracting and tiresome as possible. Gotta wear 'em down so you don't die, as many female predatory insects are absolutely brutal. Other insects compare antennae, wings, dances, colors, and even eyes to beat out the competition... but none of that means anything when you get decapitated or impaled because the mate in question was bored, hungry, or some other bullshit.


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## Troj (Aug 14, 2018)

"Nice shoes. Wanna yiff?"


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