regarding the previous journal and how that as Mindy is basically how everybody knew uh, that person who definitely wasn't me nope no-siree, and jfc my recent works and journals, you may be wondering what the fuck the deal is with me. the truth is, i feel like everything up until i ended up back at my parents' place in 2021 was just kind of getting dragged around here and there and involved in who-knows-what, and i've been trying to make sense of it all since then. maybe i've lost my mind, maybe i haven't and i've just evolved past basic communication. dunno, doesn't matter, but what does matter to me is how i experience gender, it turns out, who "the boy i was" was is actually critically important to my identity as a trans woman since "he" serves as a foundation and outline for me to build on and color in as a woman. so i've been working on that while everybody is in the aftermath of whatever they were doing during those days to develop him vial my border collie. and yeah, i've been very Buick-y and not so Cadillac-y during this time and i've made peace with that with the help of 1950s B-movies and Loony Tunes. classic Loony Tunes, the kind that aren't going anywhere no matter what. i'm building my foundation and building up to my transition how i wasn't able to in the desperate rush for "something to fix me" that i arrived in the first time. anything worth doing is worth doing right and i am doing this right. and i've also learned that anything worth doing that didn't work out the first time is worth giving another shot and making something of whatever happens.

but yeah, i guess right now i'm sort of an outsider to the modern queer community. but i just want y'all to know that i'm not the enemy, consider me like the scuba divers who go in to rescue trapped divers. i'm doing what i'm doing and mending bridges lost in the mass-gentrification. if i recall, we're all Ohana here. Ohana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind.