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Some of a heart breaking story of my life.
18 years ago
"put your picture on my wall,it reminds me that it's not so bad it's not so bad"
I love that song for it reminds me that there are better days. I told this to my friend so some of it wont make sence,I also have a few grammer errors and speeling errors but bear wit hme as I'm really heartborken and sick.
Dude I was angry that time so my spelling will be bad, but I try telling her that she just ingores me and tells me "no I wont take you back chris dont bother trying". You know that makes me feel worhtless and it hurts.My friend told me love is like a toy,it can be broken and then fixed agian. I didn;t know what he ment at the time,but now I do,it means that I have to better my self,finish school,get a job,just planly be on top of things for the time being. Or be close to that :( I'm listening to my heart and fighting for what I believe in,but how long that really is when Tammy will realise that I'm bettering my self,so I can fix this past and better a future relationship. I have a feeling that deep down inside she still cares. I also heard she has been taking sleeping pills to get to bed at night :( she use to be able to sleep fine. I have a feeling she is druging her self up to forget this whole ordeal. I'm trying to open her heart to things I asked her last night "hey when I get money and I have the time you want think about going out on a date with me?" She told me " Chris give up I will never take you back so this would be pointless and not be really much of a date at all" Ok that right there kinda got me a bit upset I was trying to be the best man I could show her that I can be someone who is a man and stand up for what I believe in,but she shot me down like that :(
Ok I'm doing the "better myself" thing for me like she wanted,but let me tell you this. She is starting to become like her bother(sitting at home on the comp or sleeping and really doing nothing else, maybe helping her dad and mother a bit) She is not bettering her life at all! She is gonna be living in that house forever if she dosen't wisen up and try to better her self. See I know now that I have to better my self for me,but at the same time this is all for me so that when I get to a point in my life I can go back and fix that love error and maybe fix it for good and gain her back.
Well I guess that is all I have to say I'm crazy in love and nothing will change that. If I died trying then I know I tried to savior my own life in the depts of this hell we can earth.
I'm depressed,dont eat,dont sleep,and worry all the time,but through it all I'm carrying on letting my self know that I can fix it just gotta give it some time and then I will have that happyness I onces hade in my life,but this time it will be fixed and I will have a better chance.
Well I guess that is how I 'm gonna rap this all up.
Have fun
Chris >>
I love that song for it reminds me that there are better days. I told this to my friend so some of it wont make sence,I also have a few grammer errors and speeling errors but bear wit hme as I'm really heartborken and sick.
Dude I was angry that time so my spelling will be bad, but I try telling her that she just ingores me and tells me "no I wont take you back chris dont bother trying". You know that makes me feel worhtless and it hurts.My friend told me love is like a toy,it can be broken and then fixed agian. I didn;t know what he ment at the time,but now I do,it means that I have to better my self,finish school,get a job,just planly be on top of things for the time being. Or be close to that :( I'm listening to my heart and fighting for what I believe in,but how long that really is when Tammy will realise that I'm bettering my self,so I can fix this past and better a future relationship. I have a feeling that deep down inside she still cares. I also heard she has been taking sleeping pills to get to bed at night :( she use to be able to sleep fine. I have a feeling she is druging her self up to forget this whole ordeal. I'm trying to open her heart to things I asked her last night "hey when I get money and I have the time you want think about going out on a date with me?" She told me " Chris give up I will never take you back so this would be pointless and not be really much of a date at all" Ok that right there kinda got me a bit upset I was trying to be the best man I could show her that I can be someone who is a man and stand up for what I believe in,but she shot me down like that :(
Ok I'm doing the "better myself" thing for me like she wanted,but let me tell you this. She is starting to become like her bother(sitting at home on the comp or sleeping and really doing nothing else, maybe helping her dad and mother a bit) She is not bettering her life at all! She is gonna be living in that house forever if she dosen't wisen up and try to better her self. See I know now that I have to better my self for me,but at the same time this is all for me so that when I get to a point in my life I can go back and fix that love error and maybe fix it for good and gain her back.
Well I guess that is all I have to say I'm crazy in love and nothing will change that. If I died trying then I know I tried to savior my own life in the depts of this hell we can earth.
I'm depressed,dont eat,dont sleep,and worry all the time,but through it all I'm carrying on letting my self know that I can fix it just gotta give it some time and then I will have that happyness I onces hade in my life,but this time it will be fixed and I will have a better chance.
Well I guess that is how I 'm gonna rap this all up.
Have fun
Chris >>
