I want to say thank you to all those who've left kind messages for me since my mothers passing. Friends, strangers, everyone who has spared a thought.

I wish I could say things are getting better, but having spent the entire day crying, they don't. You're never really told how much life will keep piling things up on you after a loved ones death. Its relentness, its painful, and if it weren't for the fact I don't want to leave my little brother alone I doubt i'd be here.

But through all this, my friends have been here for me. Farore, Shayde, Sam, DeD, Kei and Blackie... Mif and Kam, so many others, far too many to name... Whether its been talking to me and telling me its okay while I've sobbed, offering a kind word or gesture, keeping me distracted... I couldn't do this without you guys. I love you all so very much. I know I've suffered paranoia about how much people actually like me in the past, whether people really want me around... I truely wish it didn't take this event to make me realise how much you all really care about me.

But yes... I know I'm rambling. Just felt the need to say these things.