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I'm Done With Holidays
13 years ago
Let me just start off my saying that I'm in a bit of a bad mood, and there will be cussing, so be prepared.
The day after I off from school for the break I get sick and feel like utter garbage the rest of the day and today, and then I get to remember that it's Thanksgiving and I'm supposed to feel grateful for all I have.
Yeah? Well considering I've lost basically most of my life over the last year and what I've had left has gone to crap, I honestly don't have much to be thankful for.
My mom is dead.
My dad ignores me and forces all his responsibilities on me, spending more time on dating websites then he does with me or looking for a job combined. He keeps trying to show me pictures of woman he's dating and then goes out of town on little notice, forcing me to take care of my sister and dogs.
My sister makes my home life a fresh, new hell every freaking day. I can't leave my room without her going on a mission to piss me off.
School has gotten worse, mainly due to the fact that I actually give a crap about the grueling work load and try to get though it.
My dad doesn't approve of my sexuality at all, and actually uses the word faggot in front of me just to gauge my reaction.
I've actually gotten so frustrated with my life that I've talked to my dad about the emancipation of minors.
The one and only thing I have that I can even comprehend being thankful for is my wonderful fiancé, Tom, who is across a fucking ocean, and who can't come here unless him and I don't hug, kiss, or any other psychical contact. My dad literally made me promise to that.
I'm not even getting to spend Thanksgiving with anyone. Yeah, I'll be alone in my house. No dinner, no nothing.
So you know what? For me, fuck Thanksgiving. It's wonderful for lots of others, but right now I don't have much to be grateful for.
The day after I off from school for the break I get sick and feel like utter garbage the rest of the day and today, and then I get to remember that it's Thanksgiving and I'm supposed to feel grateful for all I have.
Yeah? Well considering I've lost basically most of my life over the last year and what I've had left has gone to crap, I honestly don't have much to be thankful for.
My mom is dead.
My dad ignores me and forces all his responsibilities on me, spending more time on dating websites then he does with me or looking for a job combined. He keeps trying to show me pictures of woman he's dating and then goes out of town on little notice, forcing me to take care of my sister and dogs.
My sister makes my home life a fresh, new hell every freaking day. I can't leave my room without her going on a mission to piss me off.
School has gotten worse, mainly due to the fact that I actually give a crap about the grueling work load and try to get though it.
My dad doesn't approve of my sexuality at all, and actually uses the word faggot in front of me just to gauge my reaction.
I've actually gotten so frustrated with my life that I've talked to my dad about the emancipation of minors.
The one and only thing I have that I can even comprehend being thankful for is my wonderful fiancé, Tom, who is across a fucking ocean, and who can't come here unless him and I don't hug, kiss, or any other psychical contact. My dad literally made me promise to that.
I'm not even getting to spend Thanksgiving with anyone. Yeah, I'll be alone in my house. No dinner, no nothing.
So you know what? For me, fuck Thanksgiving. It's wonderful for lots of others, but right now I don't have much to be grateful for.
*hugs* I know it's not much, but have a "happy" holiday to the best of your ability anyway. if you ever wanna talk, I have a skype. I'll gladly hear you out XD
Just remember the first time we both met in person and the joy we both had. The Disney trips, the night out in citywalk, the changes kick any negative feelings to the curb and think of happy times :) we can even talk about arranging another meet if it will make you feel any better :)
If you want, tonight, we can xbox together, or watch a movie together, or play a game, whatever you want to do.
I know it's hard, but. Try and stay positive and happy. A happy Benji, makes for a happy Tommy :)
I love you Ben, forever and always :)
I know ur feeling about the holidays it happened to me many a times. I really hope that you feel better and if you need anything just message me, you got my number and i will be here if you need anything. *hug* daddy will always be here. Now i wish i was there to hold you and keep you padded and have you in my arms. Just message me if you need me and you know i am here for you
I am free tonight if you want to talk or just to message me i am pulling me an all nighter.
Daddy always love you