...Because until now, I have never *ever* owned a cel phone in my 33 years of living. I've actually been trying to avoid getting one for as long as possible, because to be honest, I don't need calling/texting/spamming me all the time while I'm out. I have always secretly cherished the times when people don't know where I am. Guess its the sneaky weasel in me.

But after my old car died two weeks ago, leaving my mate and I stranded on the freeway in 105-degree weather, my brother insisted that he send me a cel phone to use in case of such emergencies in the future. He even put me on his plan so it doesn't cost me a penny. Fine, I said. Send me a cheap-ass phone. No bells or whistles. Hell, I figured I wasn't going to use it anyway, except in rare emergencies.

So the phone arrives today. Mini-computer is more like it. My brother sends me this thing, and its got a camera, web browsing, voice-commands, games, and pretty much everything except a little hand that reaches out to jerk me off. Its such a charming little gadget. I sat down to fiddle with some of the features, and before I knew it, I had spent 2 hours using it. 2 hours. That's more time than I've spent on my Nintendo DS today. And I didn't even make a call!

I can't help but feel like I've taken my first peek into a new world that's trying to pull me in and never spit me out, like so many pimply nerds to WoW.

Curse you, Sprint and Samsung, and your evil conspiracies!

And to my brother...thanks. :P