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The 8th
12 years ago
Exactly one year ago today, my state, North Carolina of the USA, passed an amendment that stated that "only a relationship between a woman and man will be legally recognized as a true marriage". This basically ruled out civil unions, domestic relationships, and prevented any same sex or transgendered couple from being legally partnered. This act... this passing... had NO beneficial cause to it other than to appease the bigotry of religious extremist. This amendment has only caused harm. I will never forget sitting at my "pseudo" husband's house watching as the voting took place on television. There were times where it looked hopeful and then times when it looked bleak. Inevitably, the majority vote was in favor for passing Amendment One. I was upset, hurt, and scared for the future for Matthew and I. Matthew being my world, my love, and my one and only. Later that same night... I remember driving home and simply cried. I cried for the long 45 minutes it took to drive home and cried all that night. I had to work that next day but it was a silent day for me. I didn't speak any more than what was necessary to do my job. However, within the next 48 hours my pain and my sorrow started to turn into rage and anger. I was becoming mad and detested the very idea that people were even given the chance to vote on what already should be a given human right to the minority. I was outraged. I began speaking up. Telling people of my frustration and my bitterness. I began writing letters, donating money, and making powerful posts to social media sites and forums. I had been hurt and I was lashing out.
Time went on and my passion only grew stronger. I looked into helping others with their movements, their videos, their press releases. I wanted to bring attention to the inequality and injustice that Amendment One has not only brought to me but to others as well. The time was coming close for me to turn 25 which caused my passion to slip into a bit of depression. Long story short, I promised myself long ago that I would not marry until I was 25. Well, after 3 amazing years with my boyfriend and fiancee, Matthew, I knew I was ready. I wanted to marry him, be with him, and live out the rest of my life with him... but... My state was not going to allow to make that move. I was legally forbidden from uniting myself with the love of my life. Again, I found myself crying... endless nights... lonely drives... the days seemed to mesh into each other and they started turning into weeks and weeks into months. Time started to lose significance. I finally broke down and posted something to Matthew's facebook. The post itself is lost but I remember expressing me being lost and utterly defeated that I could not marry him as I wished to do so on my 25th birthday. I apparently affected him more than I realized when I did that.
So we fast forward a bit to the Thursday that took place after my birthday. I turned 25 on the 7th of August, 2012. Matthew, had planned a birthday party for me at our local hangout spot at Morgan's Nightclub on that night of August 9th, 2012. It was amazing! There was decorations, cake, and friends and family all there. We danced, watched a drag show, and had a great time. Later on in the night, I was called up on stage by the hosting drag queen. I thought I was going to get a birthday shot or something special of that kind. I was completely wrong. To tell the story would require about another 4 pages of typing so let me just share the youtube link of what happened next:
http://youtu.be/Oq17gpXE2uQ
I was so happy... happy doesn't even do justice of how I felt that night. Surprised, overjoyed, ecstatic, shocked, in a state of euphoria, breathtaken... So many positive emotions overcame me that night that no amount of words can do it justice. At this point in time, I realized that no law, no amendment, no opinion of another person mattered. Everything that mattered was that moment in time. Everything that mattered was how this other person in front of me felt about me. It changed how I thought about everything in that one moment in time. But reality set back in after some time afterwards when I remembered the story of a certain man:
http://youtu.be/pR9gyloyOjM
Now Matthew and I both have very loving families that love us both and care for us both. So I don't think we would ever have a situation quite as severe as the video posted above. But what about the legalities of it all? How do we protect each other should anything ever happen? What about us starting a family, having kids, making large scale plans and setting aside benefits for each other? There are so many things that can and will be involved legally that we do not have access to or a right to. What should we do?
We fight!
Things have changed and are still changing. People who wish to be oppressive are now losing power and losing the fight. We're not 2nd-class. We're not anymore of sinner than the next person and there is nothing wrong with simply wanting the same rights as any other couple who are in love. There is no moral impediment of any kind here and should not be treated as if there is. We're human, we're people, what more should matter? We live, we laugh, we work and pay taxes... we want to buy a home, live a life together, and start a family... Why would that wrong? Why wouldn't that be allowed? Exactly how does that harm anyone else?
I'm done with it all. I'm mad and I have every right to be. It's been exactly one year since this foolish amendment was passed and that's been long enough. I've been fighting it for a while but it's time to get more active about getting it fixed. Don't be surprised if you see my name in an article or my face in a news broadcast. I'm about to make changes happen and I'm going to be a part of that moving force to expedite that needed change.
We're taking back the 8th!
Time went on and my passion only grew stronger. I looked into helping others with their movements, their videos, their press releases. I wanted to bring attention to the inequality and injustice that Amendment One has not only brought to me but to others as well. The time was coming close for me to turn 25 which caused my passion to slip into a bit of depression. Long story short, I promised myself long ago that I would not marry until I was 25. Well, after 3 amazing years with my boyfriend and fiancee, Matthew, I knew I was ready. I wanted to marry him, be with him, and live out the rest of my life with him... but... My state was not going to allow to make that move. I was legally forbidden from uniting myself with the love of my life. Again, I found myself crying... endless nights... lonely drives... the days seemed to mesh into each other and they started turning into weeks and weeks into months. Time started to lose significance. I finally broke down and posted something to Matthew's facebook. The post itself is lost but I remember expressing me being lost and utterly defeated that I could not marry him as I wished to do so on my 25th birthday. I apparently affected him more than I realized when I did that.
So we fast forward a bit to the Thursday that took place after my birthday. I turned 25 on the 7th of August, 2012. Matthew, had planned a birthday party for me at our local hangout spot at Morgan's Nightclub on that night of August 9th, 2012. It was amazing! There was decorations, cake, and friends and family all there. We danced, watched a drag show, and had a great time. Later on in the night, I was called up on stage by the hosting drag queen. I thought I was going to get a birthday shot or something special of that kind. I was completely wrong. To tell the story would require about another 4 pages of typing so let me just share the youtube link of what happened next:
http://youtu.be/Oq17gpXE2uQ
I was so happy... happy doesn't even do justice of how I felt that night. Surprised, overjoyed, ecstatic, shocked, in a state of euphoria, breathtaken... So many positive emotions overcame me that night that no amount of words can do it justice. At this point in time, I realized that no law, no amendment, no opinion of another person mattered. Everything that mattered was that moment in time. Everything that mattered was how this other person in front of me felt about me. It changed how I thought about everything in that one moment in time. But reality set back in after some time afterwards when I remembered the story of a certain man:
http://youtu.be/pR9gyloyOjM
Now Matthew and I both have very loving families that love us both and care for us both. So I don't think we would ever have a situation quite as severe as the video posted above. But what about the legalities of it all? How do we protect each other should anything ever happen? What about us starting a family, having kids, making large scale plans and setting aside benefits for each other? There are so many things that can and will be involved legally that we do not have access to or a right to. What should we do?
We fight!
Things have changed and are still changing. People who wish to be oppressive are now losing power and losing the fight. We're not 2nd-class. We're not anymore of sinner than the next person and there is nothing wrong with simply wanting the same rights as any other couple who are in love. There is no moral impediment of any kind here and should not be treated as if there is. We're human, we're people, what more should matter? We live, we laugh, we work and pay taxes... we want to buy a home, live a life together, and start a family... Why would that wrong? Why wouldn't that be allowed? Exactly how does that harm anyone else?
I'm done with it all. I'm mad and I have every right to be. It's been exactly one year since this foolish amendment was passed and that's been long enough. I've been fighting it for a while but it's time to get more active about getting it fixed. Don't be surprised if you see my name in an article or my face in a news broadcast. I'm about to make changes happen and I'm going to be a part of that moving force to expedite that needed change.
We're taking back the 8th!
