Dear ,
I don't really know how to tell you this but I'm selling myself for candy. I think I realized it when your dog humped my leg at the metal hospital. and I saw you sit on your "My Little Pony" collection. I'm sure you're masochistic enough to understand that you need a sex change. I'm returning your car but keeping your virginity as a memory. You should also know that I hate your cooking and you ruined my attempts at another world war.
go milk a cow, Kealala