I'm sure I don't make as much as you, but I know if I'm not doing SOMETHING that is making me money, I am very unhappy. Maybe it's like that with you? Like, even if you have enough to pay the bills, maybe there's something in your brain that's just urging you to make that money.

Maybe? Maybe not?

It's people being dumb.
So, so dumb...

It's like when they're all like "Oh you're self employed?! You can sleep in every day!"
If you do, it's only because you work late every day, like 3 AM late.

That said, if you burn your candle at both ends, you're gonna burn out real quick.
Why not save up some of your disposable income and go away for a week somewhere with no internet?
You need to refuel every now and then, it's good for your inspiration as well.

12 hours (at least) a day, Tuesday through Saturday. And on my "days off" I draw for me and my friends for about the same time. Sleep, what is sleep anymore? XD

Oh man, I can certainly relate!

I've been having the same problem where I could not bring myself to not work. I actually had to make a lot of effort to calm down and take a break. Even so, I didn't really stop until I got burnt out and my husband had to beg me to take time off. When I did, I always got anxious and restless like I was wasting time or I was disappointing someone. I always see fellow artists completing so much work at an insanely faster rate than me. That would always make me panic and convince myself to sneak off and work anyways. Unfortunately, this led me to getting overly stressed and it increased my anxiety and didn't do good things for my health.

For those calling you lazy or have been holding unrealistic expectations, don't pay attention to them, chances are they are either self-absorbed or completely oblivious to your lifestyle and the nature of your work. I noticed those individuals tend to be convinced that only they know what real work is, so they don't even consider different perspectives and how everyone is different.

Please, look after yourself. Your health is important and it's okay to take breaks every now and then :).

Do something fun for yourself, do something you enjoy. Heck, spend a day doing nothing! We love you Centra!

As for going to the doctor, I think this is more of a mental habit thing that you will need to reflect on more. Is it really the urge to over work or are there other stress factors at hand?

Sorry for blabbering @_@ I'm not sure how helpful I'm being as my brain is fried and I'm still due for sleep. So apologies in advance for my derpiness and possible nonsense lol.

You know, I was wondering the same thing. I remember it was constantly drilled into us that you had to draw like, ALL the time, otherwise you were not a REAL artist/animator. While that may work as motivation for some individuals, that mindset could be damaging to others, which I feel some teachers at Sheridan neglected to consider.

Oh boy, do I remember that lol. I think the most accurate description of Sheridan was that zombie T-shirt. "Sucking the lives out of students since (date I don't remember)."

This comment summarizes my entire Sheridan experience.

I think it's a 'time in the life' thing when this hits.

When I was 25, I went to school for 30 hours a week (night school 5pm to 11pm), worked a 40 hour a week desk job, (8am to 4pm) and on the weekend I somehow managed to work 8 hours as a truck mechanic both days on the weekend. Adding that all up? 86 hours a week... and I did that for a year.

Honestly I think it's just something you need to work out of your system, just don't let it take over because near the end I had an almost full on panic attack.

What you do is what geniuses do; it's a mental "illness," in that it's severely out of the norm, but it has many benefits. One of the greatest gift/curse things people can experience is what you have. If you just work a lot always, you're probably fine, but if you go through periods of insane mania like plenty of geniuses do, followed by a long-lasting depression, then you need to get some drugs to smooth it out.

Some other people seem to have the mania without the depression, and if you have that, well.. damn you're lucky =p. I suppose though, if you went to a psychologist, they'd probably give you some crap about how you're working so much to cover up something about yourself, or that you're compelled to work so that you can prove yourself "worthy," which may or may not be true.

Maybe you should consider taking a vacation where you literally can't work. Don't bring any of your art stuff or whatever else you do for work, and just chill somewhere to see how it feels. If you can't do it, then maybe something is up.

Oh snap. That...makes so much sense now!

Hehe. Mental illness is a funny thing - some of it can be good, some of it very bad. If you think about it one way, even psychopathy can be great in some ways, because it allows someone to be unbelievably confident in themselves, which can actually enable them to do emotionally taxing activities if they're not delusional in their overconfidence; but then.. you have the obvious issue of a number of them becoming serial killers or horrible human beings in another way. Asperger's tends to come with high intelligence, but with the cost of being socially inept. Savant syndrome comes with huge physical disabilities, like blindess or lack of proper muscle control, but some of them have the most mindblowing musical/art ability a human could ever dream of.

Everything's on a spectrum, and nothing comes without a cost. You spend a ridiculous amount of time working/doing something? You'll be rewarded by becoming ridiculously good at it, but "punished" by losing friendships and taxing your body by stressing it out constantly and all that... unless you're balanced, which none of us are =p, although we should all try to be.

Also, your art is quite awesome, I'm glad I randomly read this journal when I should have been asleep =p.

Very true! Balance is something I'm still struggling with. It took me a while to realize that working for too long and too hard was having social consequences. In the process I've only been making friends and family members worried while I was worried about disappointing them or appearing useless. In the long run, ironically, over working was making me work at a slower rate vs regular work hours with rest in between. I guess because I underestimate how much stress can drain my body and energy. Too much of one thing isn't always good after all!

Thank you for the kind words ^^

Do you really enjoy your work or what you do? If that's the case then it's not unusual at all. Not healthy, as you say, but still gotta schedule some off time and stick to it! Plan something else you enjoy doing during yer off time to make sure ya stick to it if ya have to!

It sounds like you know when to take a break when you need it during the day, but if it's starting to wear you down, you could always try saying no to new commissions until you finish your current list, people will always be here waiting to throw down for your awesome art anyways!
Drawing non stop all day? NAHH, that can be fun as hell, and seems to come with the job as freelance artist on a site like this. But make sure your physical self can handle it too :/ That much drawing can be a serious strain on your eyes and wrist (which then become the scariest thing EVER) and the rest of you!
Obviously you're not a slacker if you spend that much time and produce this quality of work, but it's always good to know your limits I guess!

Man I'm a slacker, I have to kick myself in the butt a lot of time.

If we can merge and divide to two new person, it will have all the balance in the world.

Yep. I am really addicted to working and cannot make myself stop, often sacrificing food/sleep/social things. I actually know a lot of artists like this this, even some of my professors. You do definitely need to work a LOT if you're a freelance artist by profession.

If you got that art bug in ya it does not ever want to stop, haha.

But, it's good to force yourself to take some time away from work. Lately I've been making myself hike in the morning instead of immediately getting to work, and it has helped me feel a lot better. I wouldn't say you need to see a doctor, just try to find some non-work activities you can enjoy from time to time as well. I don't think being a workaholic is necessarily bad, but you don't want to burn yourself out is all.

If someone calls you lazy and you're working 10-14 hours a day, they're dumb. There can be an expectation - and not just in the fandom - for artists to be machines, which is just unreasonable.

I tend to go through periods where I will work non-stop followed by times when I find it very hard to get anything done. I'm in therapy for depression (likely related). The general rule of mental illness that I've heard is you should go if it's causing you distress. If you're fine going like that and it's not taxing you mentally or physically, you're probably magic, but it's your call.

Usually, I think it's an effect of getting older. It just gets put into your head as the right thing to do, especially as you age. I work 12-14 hour days myself working flights at the airport, so I'm in exactly the same kind of predicament.

THat you wrote this at nearly 5 in the morning is kind of telling. I'm kind of split on the matter. On the one hand, if you enjoy what you do, then you should be doing it, absolutely. On the other hand, the last thing you want to do is burn yourself out, because that just drains all the fun out of your work. And that you're even wondering about it means that you may be approaching that point. I wouldn't concern myself with other people calling me lazy or unmotivated if I were you. If you're getting your professional obligations done on time, the rest is gravy. The fact is, there's only so much time in a day, and as you do more and more, at a certain point it becomes a detriment to your health.

In any case, I definitely don't think it's unprofessional to wonder if you work too much. I've said it several times before, but the fact that you do work such long days blows my mind. I wonder if there's a program out there that you could install on your computer that could limit the days or times that you are physically able to open Photoshop. Like, set it so that PS can only be open for 50 hours a week, or it can only be opened Monday through Friday. I would swear I've seen something like that before... If it exists, it would definitely be helpful in making you take your time off. ;)

It's probably the feeling of wanting to feel productive.
I'm like that a lot.
Even after a tiring 8 hour day of work (depending on if I work over time), I go home and draw and do commissions.
I guess I just like feeling/staying busy, though I complain that I don't have enough time for other stuff like video games, haha.

Well, I'm kinda envious of you. I have problems making myself do the things I want. I want to write, draw, do sports, get a job, take care of the garden, read a book, watch a movie but I can't make myself to do that. When I start to do something I'm getting so easily distracted that I rarely finish doing. It leaves me with lots of unifinished stuff and I can't even decide what to finish first.

I blame neurosis xD. Go get some psychological help too. It's hard to fix yourself alone.

I'm the same. I work 3 jobs, come home from my jobs, and then work on art until midnight. I get up at 0500 every day for work. On the days I don't work a "normal" job, I do artwork, from 0500 to midnight. I take small breaks to clean and to eat, and that is about it. I've gained a lot of weight, and I cant remember the last time I played videogames, or read a book, or took time for myself. Sadly, I'm barely making enough to make rent.

Ask yourself, if the people complaining about your work ethic have any clue how much/often you work. If the answer is no, then blow them off, your work speaks for itself.

Don't overdo it or your body will start rebelling. Panic attacks, carpal tunnel, fatigue, general illness, and a host of other problems will start plaguing you from overwork. Exercise and eat properly, too; you need to take breaks and move around.

You do not need to answer to people who tell you that you are not working enough. In most cases, I'd be reluctant to accept work from such people ever again, since they've obviously shown themselves to be demanding, arrogant, and entitled.

Our modern culture values hard work, progress, etc. There is also a mythos about hard work & the 'american dream' that if you just work hard enough, everything will turn out all right. Since there is no clearly defined upper limit on how much we should be working, we tend to absorb all of this and get it into our heads that we she ALWAYS BE WORKING OR ELSE WE ARE WASTING TIME~ (even though we logically know it's probably not a good idea to do that in reality) and we feel bad for taking breaks. It's like that voice in your head from childhood of your mom or your teacher constantly asking "shouldn't you be doing homework right now?!"

I generally try to remind myself that my ultimate goal in life is to be happy. And if my working is interfering with other things I need to be happy (health, eating well, stress, not being able to socialize or spend time with my partner as much as I want to, do other things that I want to do and that are important to me) I try to scale down the amount that I'm working. (Though I'm notoriously bad at doing this in practice... We'll see if I get better at it once I graduate from school and my schedule is more fluid.)

Meditate. Read. Take walks outside. Make sure what you are doing is what will make YOU happy. More money only improves your happiness level after a certain point, after that it's just vaguely comforting numbers. In fact, you could try paring down your expenses for a while (if you haven't already done so) to see how much you really need to get by and still be happy. You may find you're working to make way more money than you actually need and can afford to take more time off.

Let's marry...
or at least chill out on a higher astral plane :).

XD We're the chill out squad~

My uncle has this similar "issue". Everyone works/lives differently. He ended up having a few black out spells thanks to his incessant need to be constantly working. He even suffered from some temporary paralysis on his face. Yeah, his face. Had to get treated for that. That happened years ago, but it's still something that stands out in my memory. So, take this for what you will.

Lol xD you and me both i used to have THREE jobs 40 hours at thevhospital 40+ hoirs doing art 10+ hours doing a local sandwich place :3 i now only do art... Its helped ALOT. Sooo now i do about 40-60 weeks in arts xD

If people were demanding and disrespectful of my allotted work time, I would create a special email address just for new commissions and only check it when I am open for more orders.

karoshi karoshi, kawaii ^____^

That was a bit cynical.
But the art industry is even more grim, demanding and cynical.
Identities constructed on the image of being productive are dehumanizing in the long run.
Death through overworking is not all that cute.
My room-mates coworker is in hospital because of stress.
My bosses friends in the art industry died in the last month from heart-related problems.
Please take care of your mental and physical needs, okay.
You are thinking about asking a doctor.

I guess the other question might be... are you enjoying yourself while doing? Do you feel fulfilled in what you accomplish? Or is it just an impulse-control that compels you to not stop working?

I fully endorse you having an avenue to vent your frustrations and anyone who has a problem with that needs to take up it up with me so that I can tell them how much of a jackass they're being towards an over worked Centra. At AC I was a bit worried about ye as you seemed to always be either arting or asleep in some fashion. But it sounds like that goes beyond con experiences for ye.

I can't say workalosim is a disease, but stress related things like ulcers, eye strain, high blood pressure, and the like are things you should be careful to avoid. Perhaps giving someone you trust and who isn't such a busy person the permission and the duty to basically grab you and take you away from work for a certain number of hours a week. With time this will help you internally accept a schedule where you're not working yourself to death.

Stay safe! And don't feel obligated to remove your vent journals. They can be good reminders of the things you're dealing with. And eventually, reminders of what you've overcome.

my job has me on for almost all day, every day except when i have home time. I rarely have enough time to even do any other work beside driving.

i do hope all the hours you put in doesn't burn you out, keep cool!

Arrg. I hope work calms down for you. It's rough when they actually prescribe you hours you need to be someplace. :(

I'm cutting down on the amount of time I will work, and not surprisingly it seems to be working. A lot less stressful and easier to control my OCD/ADD (they don't counteract each other as well as you'd think). xD

A lot of people seem to think that psychologist don't know what they're talking about or are only speaking crap that someone else just made up, but that's NOT true. If this is something that is really harming you mentally or physically and you can't get it under control by yourself, consider looking around for a good psychotherapist/psychologist/psychiatrist to have appointments every once in a while. A lot of what they do is work with you so you can better help yourself. It works for some people, and it doesn't work for some people. But if it's enough of a problem, it's worth a try.

Best of luck to you!

I'm not one of those people — I've been to a few psychiatrists and know they're trying to help (and can be quite effective at it). I'm trying to limit the amount of time I "allow" myself to work a week (14 extra is my new limit). 55 hours isn't as much compared to 80, haha... seems to be helping, and although the hours are still a little long I'm getting to enjoy life a bit more.

It's fun staying up till 4AM playing Tetris Attack! Can't do that if I work 14 or 15 hours a day.

"when you know it's bad for you but you can't bring yourself to stop"

FYI that's basically the definition of addiction.


"Is the compulsion to overwork something one would go to a doctor about?"

The big dividing line of mental health issues is this: is it causing you harm or distress? If not, you're weird and you like it! Carry on! But you said it yourself, you're overworking so much that you know it's bad for you. I would definitely do something about it.

What to do depends on the root cause. If you're using it as a way to escape something else in your life, well, that thing is probably what you need to address - whether it's financial, social, or whatever. If you can't figure out why you're doing it, you should see a psychologist - that's exactly what their job is.

I've been treated once for compulsive OCD, which ended up being pretty successful (I don't freak out over patterns I think could be hiding bugs, I can throw things away without a second thought without worrying if it's gonna be useful later, etc). I stopped the medication awhile ago, but maybe I do need to talk to my doctor about starting something a bit different.

Right now I think limiting the amount of time I work (no more than 14 hours extra a week) has been helping. I have time to go shopping or play video games. :D

The most important rule is not to care about what other people say about you, if you are enjoying yourself.

I dont think that above 10 hour worktime is healthy, especially if you arent in the big need of money as soon as possible. Just be relaxed about it, and dont stress on stuff like "people call you lazy". Just let it in on one ear, and out on the other :) You are way too good letting people call you that. (or make you feel bad. if they cant wait, go to a commissioner of lightspeed)

I felt like that I had the dreamjob of my life when I illustrated a roleplaying book. I spend every day drawing nonstop, and after when I was done with it, I burned out. I didnt wanted to see any paper or pencil around me for long months. Now I learned from it, and decided to do something less art related, and do art for pocket money - so I can actually have a joy doing it so.

The solution is different to everyone, if you feel uncomfortable stressing on the work or the wasted time, than put it away for a bit, and do something what actually relaxes you. Its important to rest and relax, as the others said with the "burning the candle from both sides" example.

I keep my eyes on opened slots of yours but I keep missing it (I guess because of the different time zone and the fact that I dont live on the internet). I wish I can commission you one day (all though Im not entirely sure if you do humans), and dont worry, you could have all the time you want, haha!

As the englishman says:
Keep calm and carry on!



ps: Best way to relax on art/work if you go away from it. No internet, no tablet, no smartphone, just having a holiday. My bf is workaholic (doctor), and I had to stop him even thinking about it for a week, and it was really hard(!). Even if he wanted to talk about it, we had to change the subject to make him rest and relax (at least for that week). Now hes back to work and already there an hour overtime -.- (It will be at least extra 3 hours every day)
Spend time on having fun and doing new things, seeing new places, otherwise you wake up one day, and you feel like you worked trough your youth! Go and have a beer! NOW! :P

Art is pretty relaxing to me, which is why it's (usually) a good job to have. I like work I can have creative control over (so much OCD), although I'd say I had a bit more control when I worked as a graphic designer. The most frustrating thing to me about non-creative work is the lack of power over your projects. Retail was especially frustrating because I couldn't work to improve anything around me. :(

The roleplaying book sounds like it was a lot of fun! I guess it is a matter of balance and figuring out what's healthy for yourself.


Hahah! When I have time for a vacation (I've been meaning to take off so I could go visit my family in Florida) I'll remember not to bring a laptop or anything I could actually draw on.... sans maybe a sketchpad. Cell phone is an unfortunate necessity of a modern era... no other reliable way to arrange for pick-ups from an airport or train station. :(

On hikes I think I just won't bring one. B: Good old-fashioned map printout and compass for me.