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Mountain Trip
10 years ago
Hadrian buried his face into the stuffed cub he held close. Deep snuffles of breath from his silver nose as he tried to detect the faintest hints of her scent. There were none, not anymore. Six years since the leopardess had gone.
It was terrible and fresh in his mind. The first time she had gotten sick, he was there. She never asked for help and he had to push to get her to accept it. That terrifying word that made her weak and sick. She, a single mother, unable to care for her own cub even! When she went for Chemo treatments, he was there to read her books for her. As much as he hated the sappy, ooey-gooey love stories, she adored them. The sickness seemed to try and crush her. Her fur fell out, those dazzling green eyes lost their sparkle, almost turning gray. She could barely hold food and medications down. Hadrian was always cleaning up vomit. They won, though! They beat it into remission after a two year battle. The three of them, Rottweiler, leopardess and tiger cub danced for joy.
Life returned to normal, resuming where it left off. Nearly ten years later, a death happened and that evil thing sank it's claws into her again. Hadrian had to go through the motions of feigning sorrow when his sire passed. The things that man had done too him, the title Dad/Daddy/Father was painful and wrong to apply. Hadrian got to watch him suffer and pass. Sadly, he also got to watch his siblings suffer in real sorrow. He was the first to notice when she showed signs of it again. It wasn't depression from their sire dying, not when the lumps were bad enough to see. It had began to return when their sire was sent to the Cleveland clinic. He was there for two months and they were told he'd die there. He came home to do it, though.
After that man's passing, she finally went in. "Cancer has returned, this time it's far more aggressive." Hadrian and the little white tiger cub took care of the leopardess now. Hadrian could do no more, but waited with baited breath as their brothers were tested, to see if they matched her close enough to donate stem cells and some other things. The eldest, a weasel, did not match enough. The cocker spaniel also wasn't a good match, which left the youngest of his older brothers, the American pit bull terrier. The older siblings, their mom always said Rick had a different sire, when the DNA results came back, he was a match! Which also showed he was always their full brother.
This great news hadn't came fast enough. Chemo failed, tumors grew, fast and huge! The leopardess was in such pain, she was put into a drug induced coma called a twilight sleep. The tumors began on her lymph nodes and spread, one large one wrapped around her trachea. She caught pneumonia and they pierced her lungs and put tubes in, to drain the fluid. When they pulled out the tunes, they let the tumors in. They grew all over inside her lungs and grew so big, she had no room for oxygen. She couldn't breathe on her own. The doctors cut a hole into her throat to put the ventilator in.
She made them promise and sign papers during the first battle. Her cub would go to Samuel and his mate to be raised and loved with their own. If there was no hope, or she'd be stuck to a machine, she wanted to die at home. For them to pull the plug. Hadrian had to step up and argue them into helping. Getting her home so she could die where she wanted.
Hadrian preferred to remember the zoo more. They went, right before she began to get sick again. She loved family things. Hadrian bought a stuffed African wild dog cub and she, a purple tiger. This purple cub was now the one he slept with, clutched to his chest each night. What added to the hurt in his chest was that Tyler, too, was gone. He had nobody to cuddle him, nobody to cry on. Tyler had been there the day Cancer took her forever. His head had rested on the hospital bed, nose pressed on her arm until she was gone. Then Hadrian held him close as he had howled and wailed. Just once, Hadrian let out his pain, loud and in front of others. Not like now, as he sobbed silently. Tears soaking his muzzle.
Being in the mountains, where she loved to be just brings back memories. Most are good, but it still hurts she is gone. He holds it in till his world around him sleeps. Then the memories slip from his eyes and fall.
So far the trip is great, been to some caves, camping in the mountains, nature hikes...swimming in rivers and a lake. It's all the things my sister loved! We are also spending a large chunk of time in the state she lived in with her biological mom when she was a teen, she spent a lot of time there as an adult too. Hearing the locals with the southern drawl like she had, it makes my chest ache. I need my big sister still. There's so much right now and she's gone. My older brothers barely know I exist anymore, the one I need most never answers me. It's like I don't matter or exist to him.
My heart hurts.
It was terrible and fresh in his mind. The first time she had gotten sick, he was there. She never asked for help and he had to push to get her to accept it. That terrifying word that made her weak and sick. She, a single mother, unable to care for her own cub even! When she went for Chemo treatments, he was there to read her books for her. As much as he hated the sappy, ooey-gooey love stories, she adored them. The sickness seemed to try and crush her. Her fur fell out, those dazzling green eyes lost their sparkle, almost turning gray. She could barely hold food and medications down. Hadrian was always cleaning up vomit. They won, though! They beat it into remission after a two year battle. The three of them, Rottweiler, leopardess and tiger cub danced for joy.
Life returned to normal, resuming where it left off. Nearly ten years later, a death happened and that evil thing sank it's claws into her again. Hadrian had to go through the motions of feigning sorrow when his sire passed. The things that man had done too him, the title Dad/Daddy/Father was painful and wrong to apply. Hadrian got to watch him suffer and pass. Sadly, he also got to watch his siblings suffer in real sorrow. He was the first to notice when she showed signs of it again. It wasn't depression from their sire dying, not when the lumps were bad enough to see. It had began to return when their sire was sent to the Cleveland clinic. He was there for two months and they were told he'd die there. He came home to do it, though.
After that man's passing, she finally went in. "Cancer has returned, this time it's far more aggressive." Hadrian and the little white tiger cub took care of the leopardess now. Hadrian could do no more, but waited with baited breath as their brothers were tested, to see if they matched her close enough to donate stem cells and some other things. The eldest, a weasel, did not match enough. The cocker spaniel also wasn't a good match, which left the youngest of his older brothers, the American pit bull terrier. The older siblings, their mom always said Rick had a different sire, when the DNA results came back, he was a match! Which also showed he was always their full brother.
This great news hadn't came fast enough. Chemo failed, tumors grew, fast and huge! The leopardess was in such pain, she was put into a drug induced coma called a twilight sleep. The tumors began on her lymph nodes and spread, one large one wrapped around her trachea. She caught pneumonia and they pierced her lungs and put tubes in, to drain the fluid. When they pulled out the tunes, they let the tumors in. They grew all over inside her lungs and grew so big, she had no room for oxygen. She couldn't breathe on her own. The doctors cut a hole into her throat to put the ventilator in.
She made them promise and sign papers during the first battle. Her cub would go to Samuel and his mate to be raised and loved with their own. If there was no hope, or she'd be stuck to a machine, she wanted to die at home. For them to pull the plug. Hadrian had to step up and argue them into helping. Getting her home so she could die where she wanted.
Hadrian preferred to remember the zoo more. They went, right before she began to get sick again. She loved family things. Hadrian bought a stuffed African wild dog cub and she, a purple tiger. This purple cub was now the one he slept with, clutched to his chest each night. What added to the hurt in his chest was that Tyler, too, was gone. He had nobody to cuddle him, nobody to cry on. Tyler had been there the day Cancer took her forever. His head had rested on the hospital bed, nose pressed on her arm until she was gone. Then Hadrian held him close as he had howled and wailed. Just once, Hadrian let out his pain, loud and in front of others. Not like now, as he sobbed silently. Tears soaking his muzzle.
Being in the mountains, where she loved to be just brings back memories. Most are good, but it still hurts she is gone. He holds it in till his world around him sleeps. Then the memories slip from his eyes and fall.
So far the trip is great, been to some caves, camping in the mountains, nature hikes...swimming in rivers and a lake. It's all the things my sister loved! We are also spending a large chunk of time in the state she lived in with her biological mom when she was a teen, she spent a lot of time there as an adult too. Hearing the locals with the southern drawl like she had, it makes my chest ache. I need my big sister still. There's so much right now and she's gone. My older brothers barely know I exist anymore, the one I need most never answers me. It's like I don't matter or exist to him.
My heart hurts.
