Okay im in a weird place at the moment with art blocks and stuff to the point where i get physically angry at myself...which isnt cool (Woah surprise there someone on FA is complaining about something) But i feel like this is a good venue to kinda express myself on how i feel sometimes because the majority of you dont know me, you nerds are just people behind a computer screen.

But yeah, im not sure if id count myself as gender fluid but there are definitely weird times for me. Most of the time when im out and about i just feel normal and shit and act how i suppose most people expect I should but then there are times where i see something intended for girls and i think to myself "Hey, fuck this shit, I want that. I wanna be cutsie and adorable, why would it be weird if i wanted to buy Legends of Zelda knee high socks with a ribbon". Like i know its the modern age at the moment with forward thinking and shit and people get more abuse for being intolerant than people get for breaking the norm, but it still seems like such a weird concept to me.

But I still have moments where i want to be super manly, Like i wanna have a tone body and be a grizzled piece of man meat who can "Protect his woman brah" And i think this is where my problem is, whatever ideal im going for within myself I dont think i will ever be happy with who I am. Even if i achieve the image that i want of myself it will probably then change to something different.

And then there is the whole thing with me quite liking futa which is a whole heap of crazy that i dont understand either (Im straight and dont like dudes sorry, but I like pee pees on girls, what does that even mean)

Anyone one else kinda feel like that? I feel that ive gone off on a tangent and not really made much sense to be honest