nuuuuuu

:-/

why cute deer depressed?!??

no one talks to me, I'm boring, depressing an not really worth talking to I guess. I do nothing, I say next to nothing, sit around getting bored and end up hurting and I'm done with it, I draw cartoon-ish furries no one cares about cause it isn't porn or even that good.. I dunno whatever I don't care anymore

if they did not care, they would not be faving the arts you draw

big deal, faves are pretty much meaningless

i love your cute arts! does that mean nothin?

I dunno...

as long as one person can enjoy your arts and can brighten their day, that is good enough goal to keep going

i guess, just done with journals

well as long as it is just the journals, then i is happy! ^3^ *nibbles Bucky Antlers*

I agree! I love your art too. So you have two people who like your art. Btw is it okay if I go on a faving spree?

i think so

But I'll miss those cute drawings that you were making into a glimpse of a more Hanna Barbara Universe. And, it saddens me to think that you've tried to reach out, only to be hindered time and time again by that depression curse.

Just last night, I read through another artist whom tried to reach out with his artwork, only to be slandered and downright hated for not drawing porn for these bastards that dare call themselves fur. I say more like fleas. Yea. The fleas that hide under fur. Perhaps, that's what they ought to be.

Well...ranting not the place to be doing, here.

Take care of yourself. I hope you find something that can bring you joy. Not just some shallow letters on a screen that say what you seek. I mean, something real in life. Something that can get rid of those bad chemicals in your head that are doing this. Because depression is the on ramp to death. You deserve so much more. Your innocence should be your aid and not a whipping post for idiots with narrow minded...erp...ranting, again.

Take care of yourself. Don't do anything harsh. Live right. Make simple aims to live up to. Find your true happiness. Peace.

I'll miss you, Bucky :(

not leaving, just done with posting journals

There are people who still care about you, and I do, too. Still don't understand why you continue to assume otherwise. There will always be people, including myself, who still care about you, even you continue to believe otherwise.

no one ever seems to talk to me, course I never have anything to say anyway.

I told you before, people don't always have time for others due to being preoccupied on other stuff. That doesn't mean they don't care. They just have a lot in their minds. I don't know why you continue to assume that people don't care about you, but I think the first person that needs to care about you is yourself. Only then will you see that there are people that do truly care about you. If you wanted people to talk to you that badly, then try to come up with something to talk about first. It's plain and simple.

knew I'd end up regretting writing a journal here, don't know why I even bother posting them

Don't beat yourself up over it. People are trying to help you. That's all we've been trying to do the whole time. You can't let all this negativity about yourself get the best of you. Just believe in yourself. That's all you gotta do.

Why?

Alas, just looking in to myself, I already know the reason why. Shallow aims of help while in this mood are only doing self inflected damage. It's impossible to find the help when you set your sights on the path to happiness. Only to trapse the path and it's surrounding area with land mines to insure that when you seek out that goal, it all blows up in your face. Thineself be thine worst enemy.

I too suffer from depression... that's why I'm quiet. I also suffer from anxiety a little, which is why I am quiet. Leaving because people have similar issues to you makes us feel like we didn't do enough, and makes our own illnesses worse sometimes.

Please don't go. I always like reading that you're OK and seeing your artwork.

Second.

I never meant this to be a "I'm leaving FA" journal, just that I'm done with making and posting journals. most of my journals, specially commission journals go ignored, and when I try to make them I get pissed off cause everyone has the same excuse and I'm sick of it then to top it off I see tons of people clamoring to some porn artist who's charging 50 or more dollars for a piece of cyber art, art that was never really made by someones hand art they'll only ever see online, never hold and feel. Or there's my other journals where I sorta want to vent or say something but I get scared cause mostly everyone takes it wrong, much like this journal was and then i feel like shat for even mentioning I have a problem and feel dumber by posting about it, and don't talk to me about "livejournal" cause that doesn't work, not that I remember my password anyway. Seems to be most of my depression comes from boredom and when I go online it feels like whenever I bring this up everyone is suggesting that I go do something else, making me feel unwanted thus why I've been taking longer and longer breaks from Skype and chat rooms, not that I ever really felt apart of those in the first place
most of the time I feel like a nuisance or someone no one wants to bother with cause I don't seem to fit that stereotypical furry thing
I don't get most references, I don't play many games, and I don't really draw all that well where I can do something more then it being a "hobby". I literally have nothing else, I don't work I live on a fixed income, and there's no job/career that I really want to get into and I feel if I did take/get a "job" all that going to happen is that I'll end up getting tired of it faster and just start half assing cause I don't care, I dunno who cares

I'll chime in. Bucky, there _are_ people that care about you. Are you getting any treatment for the depression? Note me if you wanna talk.

I'm reading this, and I care. But, I've never been that good at figuring out what to say to help people to feel better. I also read all of your replies to the comments.

You are not boring. I just figure that you have as hard of a time starting conversations as I do. I originally started watching you because I like your art. It wasn't porn back then, and it doesn't need to be now. Some of us simply like what you draw and don't want to see porn in everything.

You are always welcome to note me if you every want to talk. I can't promise how fast I can always answer though, since I'm a slow typer, and read very slowly because of my eyes. But, I do read everything. When I fail to respond, it usually means I simply couldn't think of anything to help. I'm usually pretty poor at initiating ideas.

You've done such nice things for me, and I love your artwork. ;n;
Sad to see you go.

not leaving

Oh, guess I interpreted it wrong then. XD

Dude, have you considered therapy or something?

the state of mental health in my area is a joke, I have a counselor that show up once a week, who I barely talk to. I see my "doctor" once every 3 months, via viewscreen, who I also barely talk to

Damn. I'm sorry to hear that.

I find exercise helps a lot when I'm feeling blue

Oh, yes. Getting a nice, long walk out in the sunshine and away from all the bothersome people really does tons to cheer me up.

To quote a co-worker from the other day, "You really don't smile, do you?"

Hey bud I can relate too. Dumped all my journals some time back and haven't shared my thoughts with folks for a while because I didn't think anyone cared yet I know some do. This community has helped me through some depression and getting over some bad experiences to where I can feel again. Many on here including your work keep me smiling. Tend to bury myself in my work and forget to come up for air sometimes still. A person needs something to do though to have a reason to get up in the morning - only you can choose.

sorry you've been feeling down, im always around on fa if you want to send a note or a shout-out

please get better

ive had my fair share of depressive moments, as long as you do what you love and remember that you have made a lot of people happy from all the pictures you have done.

if Kemara was around she would thank you too, but my dream won't ever happen. (not meaning the absorption part)