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One week ago...
5 years ago
Smart people understand that there is no such thing as paranoia. It is just another mask for ignorance. The Truth, when you finally chase it down, is almost always far worse than your darkest visions and fears.
Hunter S. Thompson
Hunter S. Thompson
I had to make the decision to put my dog Montana to sleep.
Anyone who knows me well knows that loyalty is the trait I prize most.
And that love is a very tough one for me.
So I had to act in a way that preserved my loyalty and love to my dog while emotionally feeling like I was betraying him.
I had to prove my love by ending his suffering.
If that isn't a blow to the heart I don't know what is.
My sleep situation, already a hellish mess has been further disturbed.
My therapy has been my friends all over reaching out and lots of Parks and Recreation on Amazon Prime tv.
I still feel his loss, and can break down for a few moments before regaining control.
As soon as I can, I will go to the pound and rescue another dog. My Bo-dog needs a dog buddy.
So I can start up the love process again. Rekindle my loyalty fires and try to make another homeless dog's life a good one while knowing that this love will one day cut me down. Again.
Thankfully love isn't money. You can't lose it by spreading it around. Love is awesome that way.
But holy hell does love gut you sometimes.
Anyone who knows me well knows that loyalty is the trait I prize most.
And that love is a very tough one for me.
So I had to act in a way that preserved my loyalty and love to my dog while emotionally feeling like I was betraying him.
I had to prove my love by ending his suffering.
If that isn't a blow to the heart I don't know what is.
My sleep situation, already a hellish mess has been further disturbed.
My therapy has been my friends all over reaching out and lots of Parks and Recreation on Amazon Prime tv.
I still feel his loss, and can break down for a few moments before regaining control.
As soon as I can, I will go to the pound and rescue another dog. My Bo-dog needs a dog buddy.
So I can start up the love process again. Rekindle my loyalty fires and try to make another homeless dog's life a good one while knowing that this love will one day cut me down. Again.
Thankfully love isn't money. You can't lose it by spreading it around. Love is awesome that way.
But holy hell does love gut you sometimes.
I know what that loss is like, brother.
The pain never completely goes away, but it becomes bearable with time.
Accept the gratitude and love of a new dog, when it is time.
It will help.
And you will save yet another life.
-Badger-
much love, my friend. I hope i can see you again sometime soon.
I can't say it will become easier, but I hope you'll remember the good times over the bad.
is ABSOLUTLY one of THE WORST YEARS we've had in a LONG LONG time.
And we still have an election to "look forward to"! :/