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Geezus....
Posted 10 years agoI'm in the hospital as I type this. On my mobile phone in this freezing fucking room. My mom left some time ago and I am not sleepy for once. Which leaves me sadly alone with my thoughts. I figured I may as well type it out and this was the first place that came to mind. Easy place to let off some steam without worry of being overly judged. Not looking to solve anything. Not looking for support or comments.
Just.....what the fuck.
I mean...I don't even know anymore. Like...this was really unexpected. I know things happen and of course, you don't expect things like this to happen. But this time it was just.....wow. I have had my share of near deaths a plenty in my life with my health issues. However, the past few times have been a lot more frequent in my later years. I mean, I had just recovered from food poisoning just a few days before I got really ill and put in ICU Saturday.
I almost died again. I almost died. And as I have been laying here, all I could think of was Monty Oum. I didn't know him personally but I knew his work very well. I loved him. I loved him deeply and admired him from afar. I loved his integrity. His strength. His inspiration. And when he died. I was devastated. It broke my heart and I have yet to get over it.
I think about myself and Monty. Nothing alike....yet.....
He died so young, so suddenly. Yet he left a legacy of himself. And it shames me. I want so much to actually do something with myself, for myself.....something I love and can be proud of.
I have worked all my life. From childhood. Cared for others.....struggled for others. But I doubt that will be a legacy to be treasured.
I can't stop working. But really....I'm struggling. And for what? What am I fighting for? Myself? Someone who could just go into another diabetic coma. Pass away with nothing to leave behind? For the others who would be fine without me?
I keep having these selfish thoughts....to just let someone else take the reigns.....just for a little while. Just long enough for me to focus on getting a better education or at least do something I enjoy doing....draw....animate. Voice acting. Make a you tube video. Finish a game. I never have time.....time seems to be running out for me...
And there is no one to take the reigns for a bit. Just me. My family needs me.
I want to do something....I want to draw.....
Either that or just....go ahead and kick the bucket already. This isn't living. I'm a robot.
A tired robot....
Just.....what the fuck.
I mean...I don't even know anymore. Like...this was really unexpected. I know things happen and of course, you don't expect things like this to happen. But this time it was just.....wow. I have had my share of near deaths a plenty in my life with my health issues. However, the past few times have been a lot more frequent in my later years. I mean, I had just recovered from food poisoning just a few days before I got really ill and put in ICU Saturday.
I almost died again. I almost died. And as I have been laying here, all I could think of was Monty Oum. I didn't know him personally but I knew his work very well. I loved him. I loved him deeply and admired him from afar. I loved his integrity. His strength. His inspiration. And when he died. I was devastated. It broke my heart and I have yet to get over it.
I think about myself and Monty. Nothing alike....yet.....
He died so young, so suddenly. Yet he left a legacy of himself. And it shames me. I want so much to actually do something with myself, for myself.....something I love and can be proud of.
I have worked all my life. From childhood. Cared for others.....struggled for others. But I doubt that will be a legacy to be treasured.
I can't stop working. But really....I'm struggling. And for what? What am I fighting for? Myself? Someone who could just go into another diabetic coma. Pass away with nothing to leave behind? For the others who would be fine without me?
I keep having these selfish thoughts....to just let someone else take the reigns.....just for a little while. Just long enough for me to focus on getting a better education or at least do something I enjoy doing....draw....animate. Voice acting. Make a you tube video. Finish a game. I never have time.....time seems to be running out for me...
And there is no one to take the reigns for a bit. Just me. My family needs me.
I want to do something....I want to draw.....
Either that or just....go ahead and kick the bucket already. This isn't living. I'm a robot.
A tired robot....
A Whole New Year! (Quickie)
Posted 10 years agoWell then! It's a whole new year and already shit hit the fan. With family death, illnesses, and mom having to get ready to go through surgery again, it has been one hell of a roller coaster ride. I was so ready for 2016 already.
BUT WAIT! I still feel that 2015 will be a good year for everyone! Let's wait and see.
Anyway. Enough is enough, even without depression meds, I need to get out of my slump. So. Not only am I working more hours, I am trying to be more social. ...Despite social awkward tendencies. I am catching up with year old commissions. Thank god for a supportive Waif.
Also. INCOME TAX TIME! WHOO HOO!
I am gonna try to speed up what I owe and draw more. Between gaming time, I mean. C'mon, NEW 3DS'S AND MONSTER HUNTER 4 ULTIMATE!!
Story of Seasons. And maybe I should pick up Pokemon alpha sapphire. Also been hooked on this dating sim....Maybe I should attempt dating for real, too. But lololololololol. Naw. I'm good!
How have you guys been?!
I MISS YOU KEIRA! I really need to catch up with you and pick up my damn phone. I am so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, apologetic. Sorry!!! ;3;
I hope the library isn't still a dick to you or else I am gonna have to kidnap you and bomb it.
Should be returning soon! Maybe once or twice a week.
Seeya all soon!
BUT WAIT! I still feel that 2015 will be a good year for everyone! Let's wait and see.
Anyway. Enough is enough, even without depression meds, I need to get out of my slump. So. Not only am I working more hours, I am trying to be more social. ...Despite social awkward tendencies. I am catching up with year old commissions. Thank god for a supportive Waif.
Also. INCOME TAX TIME! WHOO HOO!
I am gonna try to speed up what I owe and draw more. Between gaming time, I mean. C'mon, NEW 3DS'S AND MONSTER HUNTER 4 ULTIMATE!!
Story of Seasons. And maybe I should pick up Pokemon alpha sapphire. Also been hooked on this dating sim....Maybe I should attempt dating for real, too. But lololololololol. Naw. I'm good!
How have you guys been?!
I MISS YOU KEIRA! I really need to catch up with you and pick up my damn phone. I am so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, apologetic. Sorry!!! ;3;
I hope the library isn't still a dick to you or else I am gonna have to kidnap you and bomb it.
Should be returning soon! Maybe once or twice a week.
Seeya all soon!
I might...
Posted 11 years agoTry to do some adoptables. Or YCH. Anyone interested?
Quick Update
Posted 11 years agoBeen up since 6am. It is now 3:21a. I got home around 10:30p. Been trying to work on everything since I got home. I am sleepy. Will do more tomorrow.
I miss rp in my life.
Been living with my mom mon-fri in an attempt to help her and to walk to the bus stop to get to work.
Been diagnosed with OCD and Social anxiety to add to my depression and mild insomnia. So. Apparently. I am insane. Yay.
Going to try to clean up my profile page. It is so cluttered and I hate it.
Trying to get back here, guys. Keira. I love you and miss you. I am trying. I am sorry I am not around as much as I would like.
This guy --->
I like him.
Annndddd.....I think that is just about it.
See ya'll soon.
Ciao, Riuu
I miss rp in my life.
Been living with my mom mon-fri in an attempt to help her and to walk to the bus stop to get to work.
Been diagnosed with OCD and Social anxiety to add to my depression and mild insomnia. So. Apparently. I am insane. Yay.
Going to try to clean up my profile page. It is so cluttered and I hate it.
Trying to get back here, guys. Keira. I love you and miss you. I am trying. I am sorry I am not around as much as I would like.
This guy --->
I like him.Annndddd.....I think that is just about it.
See ya'll soon.
Ciao, Riuu
Sorry
Posted 11 years agoBeen going through severe depression.
On again, Off again
Posted 11 years agoI am doing this from my phone.
Just checking in, saying hi. I'm alive. How are you?
What the heck is going on with FA? I have been hearing a lot of things. Wtf?
That and I see a lot of people are leaving. Favorite artists, dear friends. Whole galleries gone. My favorites list has a bunch of holes.
Again. Wtf, fa?
Just checking in, saying hi. I'm alive. How are you?
What the heck is going on with FA? I have been hearing a lot of things. Wtf?
That and I see a lot of people are leaving. Favorite artists, dear friends. Whole galleries gone. My favorites list has a bunch of holes.
Again. Wtf, fa?
What's Up
Posted 11 years agoWhats going on with Me =0
Hiya! I figured since I had a little time to myself and I am up on the site uploading junk, I might as well leave a journal.
Quicky: Skin cancer on boob removed, stitches removed. Doing fine. Went to North Carolina for a week with my sister. First vacation in three years. I hated going but I enjoyed myself when I was there. Even if my pay check was 175 and I am in yet another financial hole. My brother says I have to learn to enjoy life and not stress out about bills all the time.
Pfft. He has a wife to help him struggle. I struggle alone, so whatever the hell. I am trying no to panic, however even with mother borrowing more money.
In NC, I met my real dad. It was interesting and emotional. But I am glad to have met him even if there was wickedness that kept us apart.
COMISSIONS! AH! I am trying so hard to get it together, I really am. Work shifts have been happening and my hours have been sucked away by them. That and helping out my family with their issues. I even left skype for a bit so I can handle everything. I have a total of 2 hours (maybe) to myself a day if I don't sleep. That goes to art and video game breaks in between. lol. Also F-List note rp's when I can.
I really want to learn a good coloring and shading technique as I am not satisfied with my own. HELP ME XD
I am doing great, health wise. I am trying to eat better, no matter the cost. I feel good spiritually and all. Pretty chipper. But I do get a touch of melancholy at times.
All in all, I am loving where I am in life, right now. No complaints. I am just living and enjoying the ride. I should be getting a car very soon, then I am going back to college. YAY. That's the ...er...short version of EVERYTHING XD
How are you guys doing? ^^
Yes. Everything are nuke.
Read it, Live by it -> http://sigilgoat.livejournal.com/45567.html
Updates
Nothing new~
FA Stuff/Projects:
~Need to complete all my personal projects: - Editing all my F-List characters.
- MOAR RP NAO! (For sexor? >w> )
- Creat my new pokemon character idea.
- Battle Pokemon Trainers (and try to win! >>)
- SSB! NAO!!! >=C
Love you guys!
~Riuu-chan
Hiya! I figured since I had a little time to myself and I am up on the site uploading junk, I might as well leave a journal.
Quicky: Skin cancer on boob removed, stitches removed. Doing fine. Went to North Carolina for a week with my sister. First vacation in three years. I hated going but I enjoyed myself when I was there. Even if my pay check was 175 and I am in yet another financial hole. My brother says I have to learn to enjoy life and not stress out about bills all the time.
Pfft. He has a wife to help him struggle. I struggle alone, so whatever the hell. I am trying no to panic, however even with mother borrowing more money.
In NC, I met my real dad. It was interesting and emotional. But I am glad to have met him even if there was wickedness that kept us apart.
COMISSIONS! AH! I am trying so hard to get it together, I really am. Work shifts have been happening and my hours have been sucked away by them. That and helping out my family with their issues. I even left skype for a bit so I can handle everything. I have a total of 2 hours (maybe) to myself a day if I don't sleep. That goes to art and video game breaks in between. lol. Also F-List note rp's when I can.
I really want to learn a good coloring and shading technique as I am not satisfied with my own. HELP ME XD
I am doing great, health wise. I am trying to eat better, no matter the cost. I feel good spiritually and all. Pretty chipper. But I do get a touch of melancholy at times.
All in all, I am loving where I am in life, right now. No complaints. I am just living and enjoying the ride. I should be getting a car very soon, then I am going back to college. YAY. That's the ...er...short version of EVERYTHING XD
How are you guys doing? ^^
Yes. Everything are nuke.
Read it, Live by it -> http://sigilgoat.livejournal.com/45567.html
Updates
Nothing new~
FA Stuff/Projects:
~Need to complete all my personal projects: - Editing all my F-List characters.
- MOAR RP NAO! (For sexor? >w> )
- Creat my new pokemon character idea.
- Battle Pokemon Trainers (and try to win! >>)
- SSB! NAO!!! >=C
Love you guys!
~Riuu-chan
Quick question. (Art help)
Posted 11 years agoAnyone know where I could find some decent coloring and shading tutorials? Preferably for the Artrage program? Version 2.
YouTube fails me.
YouTube fails me.
Rargh.
Posted 11 years agoBrief update.
Work, work, work.
Holiday prepping.
Skin cancer on my bewb to be removed in January.
HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO ALL! (Bah humbug)
No, seriously. I hope you guys have a good friggin holiday. I wanna work on the holidays but I can't and will have to make up the money loss in Jan and Feb if possible. YAY INCOME TAXES! =D
Ciao, Riuu!
P.S. Yeah.....when I get back there shall be nukings EVERYWHERE!
Work, work, work.
Holiday prepping.
Skin cancer on my bewb to be removed in January.
HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO ALL! (Bah humbug)
No, seriously. I hope you guys have a good friggin holiday. I wanna work on the holidays but I can't and will have to make up the money loss in Jan and Feb if possible. YAY INCOME TAXES! =D
Ciao, Riuu!
P.S. Yeah.....when I get back there shall be nukings EVERYWHERE!
I'unno
Posted 12 years agoWhats going on with Me =0
Hey, hey! Been gone a bit ^^; Been busy with work, sick, and in the hospital again.
Lot's going on but due to melancholy, I just don't feel like venting. Too lazy...it's just...eh. Whatever. Same old issues.
Currently I am planning to move out of state. It is a new life project I am looking forward to doing. Ya know..getting away ^^
Anywho. How have you all been? I see I have a lot of catching up to do and a lot of commission work as well. I need to friggin get to it and now that things are starting to get back to normal (sorta) at work, I can draw freely there. (I hope.)
Please. Please Comission me. I'll take whatever you give for whatever you want. At least I can make sure Tate is taken care of. She's all I have and all I care for in my home. If she is happy, then I can keep going.
Here are some ground rules:
- Tell me sketch, ink, detail ink, or color.
- Limit to 4 characters in one drawing session
- I will not take anything less than a dollar (be nice people, I'm desperate.)
- I will TRY to do vanilla porn, but I prefer not to draw porn. I'm not good with it.
- Make sure you give me refs.
- Payment in Advance
- NO REFUNDS. I will show you a prep work sketch and you can make any changes you want until you're satisfied, but once it reaches the final phase, thats it.
- If you can't pay, then pimp.
That is all.
List: No limit to how many pieces I will draw.
1.
(PAID) Being Colored
2. (PAID) Big project! x-x; Prep Sketch
Paypal = Akiriuu[at]gmail.com
Read it, Live by it -> http://sigilgoat.livejournal.com/45567.html
Updates
~ I think Alter has a girlfriend now x-x;
FA Stuff/Projects:
~ Remixing my Main character. Just revamping old with some new and recycling my already used stuff. Having a project makes my empty life somewhat filling.
~ Updating ALL Characters (when I am done with Commisions).
~ Working on yet another girl.
Love you guys!
~Riuu-chan
Hey, hey! Been gone a bit ^^; Been busy with work, sick, and in the hospital again.
Lot's going on but due to melancholy, I just don't feel like venting. Too lazy...it's just...eh. Whatever. Same old issues.
Currently I am planning to move out of state. It is a new life project I am looking forward to doing. Ya know..getting away ^^
Anywho. How have you all been? I see I have a lot of catching up to do and a lot of commission work as well. I need to friggin get to it and now that things are starting to get back to normal (sorta) at work, I can draw freely there. (I hope.)
Please. Please Comission me. I'll take whatever you give for whatever you want. At least I can make sure Tate is taken care of. She's all I have and all I care for in my home. If she is happy, then I can keep going.
Here are some ground rules:
- Tell me sketch, ink, detail ink, or color.
- Limit to 4 characters in one drawing session
- I will not take anything less than a dollar (be nice people, I'm desperate.)
- I will TRY to do vanilla porn, but I prefer not to draw porn. I'm not good with it.
- Make sure you give me refs.
- Payment in Advance
- NO REFUNDS. I will show you a prep work sketch and you can make any changes you want until you're satisfied, but once it reaches the final phase, thats it.
- If you can't pay, then pimp.
That is all.
List: No limit to how many pieces I will draw.
1.
(PAID) Being Colored2.
(PAID) Big project! x-x; Prep SketchPaypal = Akiriuu[at]gmail.com
Read it, Live by it -> http://sigilgoat.livejournal.com/45567.html
Updates
~ I think Alter has a girlfriend now x-x;
FA Stuff/Projects:
~ Remixing my Main character. Just revamping old with some new and recycling my already used stuff. Having a project makes my empty life somewhat filling.
~ Updating ALL Characters (when I am done with Commisions).
~ Working on yet another girl.
Love you guys!
~Riuu-chan
Comissions! Go!
Posted 12 years agoWhats going on with Me =0
So. All the work I am putting into these drawings....the money? My mother took it. Oh, I have the angriest tears flowing right now. Gas money. I am a grown woman still pending under her mother's rule...EVEN though I don't live with her.
I tried to keep $9.00 for myself to get some food and she gave me attitude, getting mad at me because she needs more gas money. Gas money that I'm not even wasting! -soft sigh-
Then she tells me that I am not getting all the money I loaned her for a bus ticket to get my aunt back home from her visit.
I gave her 140.00. 20.00 was for gas, keep for herself of kind thing. I mean...I always give her something from every check to help out, there by causing my own self greater distress.
How can someone tell their starving, running out of medicine, very poor, very broke, very in need blood daughter that she isn't going to give back the FULL LOAN given? I mean..if it were my brothers, she wouldn't treat them like that at all. She loaned them money...a lot..her entire savings...over 5.000 bucks to them and have YET to see it, but she doesn't give them lip about it. Oh no, not to their faces. But she does bitch to me about it. Every financial choice she makes, I suffer for it.
So. I made a pact with myself. Whatever side money I make...I will no longer tell her about. Let her use her own funds to waste on the movies and dinner out. Buying toys that arn't needed when those kids have plenty already. Or tablets and psp's and ds's that they break! But she replaces. She wastes her bill money. Hell, she even got a new puppy JUST because Jada wanted it and whatever Jada wants, she fucking gets. The last dog they had died in the neightbors yard from their neglect.
When I tell her I have to get home or do something for Tate, her words are "I don't care about that cat." BUT I DO! She is my FAMILY. -twitches- I think I am beginning to offically hate her. I can't friggin' take much more of this...its all I can do not to snap on her and just end it.
EDIT: LMAO! She knows how wrong she is and so she called me like three times in which I did not answer due to being upset (which I can not be or else I WILL get sick. Already have a migraine. After the migraine starts everything crumbles.) and so she left a message...although a somewhat unapologetic one in which she told me to call her. So I returned the call, prepared to do battle since she never lets things just drop....
....and offered to bring me a plate of food. How sweet. Right? No. I'll probably have to pay for the gas for that trip.
Please. Please Comission me. I'll take whatever you give for whatever you want. At least I can make sure Tate is taken care of. She's all I have and all I care for in my home. If she is happy, then I can keep going.
Here are some ground rules:
- Tell me sketch, ink, detail ink, or color.
- Limit to 4 characters in one drawing session
- I will not take anything less than a dollar (be nice people, I'm desperate.)
- I will TRY to do vanilla porn, but I prefer not to draw porn. I'm not good with it.
- Make sure you give me refs.
- Payment in Advance
- NO REFUNDS. I will show you a prep work sketch and you can make any changes you want until you're satisfied, but once it reaches the final phase, thats it.
- If you can't pay, then pimp.
That is all.
List: No limit to how many pieces I will draw.
1.
(PAID) Flat Inked.
2. (PAID) Flat Inked.
3. (PAID) Big project! x-x; Prep Sketch
Paypal = Akiriuu[at]gmail.com
Read it, Live by it -> http://sigilgoat.livejournal.com/45567.html
Updates
Nothing new~
FA Stuff/Projects:
~ Remixing my Main character. Just revamping old with some new and recycling my already used stuff. Having a project makes my empty life somewhat filling.
~Might have a new girl and a new guy coming up.
Love you guys!
~Riuu-chan
So. All the work I am putting into these drawings....the money? My mother took it. Oh, I have the angriest tears flowing right now. Gas money. I am a grown woman still pending under her mother's rule...EVEN though I don't live with her.
I tried to keep $9.00 for myself to get some food and she gave me attitude, getting mad at me because she needs more gas money. Gas money that I'm not even wasting! -soft sigh-
Then she tells me that I am not getting all the money I loaned her for a bus ticket to get my aunt back home from her visit.
I gave her 140.00. 20.00 was for gas, keep for herself of kind thing. I mean...I always give her something from every check to help out, there by causing my own self greater distress.
How can someone tell their starving, running out of medicine, very poor, very broke, very in need blood daughter that she isn't going to give back the FULL LOAN given? I mean..if it were my brothers, she wouldn't treat them like that at all. She loaned them money...a lot..her entire savings...over 5.000 bucks to them and have YET to see it, but she doesn't give them lip about it. Oh no, not to their faces. But she does bitch to me about it. Every financial choice she makes, I suffer for it.
So. I made a pact with myself. Whatever side money I make...I will no longer tell her about. Let her use her own funds to waste on the movies and dinner out. Buying toys that arn't needed when those kids have plenty already. Or tablets and psp's and ds's that they break! But she replaces. She wastes her bill money. Hell, she even got a new puppy JUST because Jada wanted it and whatever Jada wants, she fucking gets. The last dog they had died in the neightbors yard from their neglect.
When I tell her I have to get home or do something for Tate, her words are "I don't care about that cat." BUT I DO! She is my FAMILY. -twitches- I think I am beginning to offically hate her. I can't friggin' take much more of this...its all I can do not to snap on her and just end it.
EDIT: LMAO! She knows how wrong she is and so she called me like three times in which I did not answer due to being upset (which I can not be or else I WILL get sick. Already have a migraine. After the migraine starts everything crumbles.) and so she left a message...although a somewhat unapologetic one in which she told me to call her. So I returned the call, prepared to do battle since she never lets things just drop....
....and offered to bring me a plate of food. How sweet. Right? No. I'll probably have to pay for the gas for that trip.
Please. Please Comission me. I'll take whatever you give for whatever you want. At least I can make sure Tate is taken care of. She's all I have and all I care for in my home. If she is happy, then I can keep going.
Here are some ground rules:
- Tell me sketch, ink, detail ink, or color.
- Limit to 4 characters in one drawing session
- I will not take anything less than a dollar (be nice people, I'm desperate.)
- I will TRY to do vanilla porn, but I prefer not to draw porn. I'm not good with it.
- Make sure you give me refs.
- Payment in Advance
- NO REFUNDS. I will show you a prep work sketch and you can make any changes you want until you're satisfied, but once it reaches the final phase, thats it.
- If you can't pay, then pimp.
That is all.
List: No limit to how many pieces I will draw.
1.
(PAID) Flat Inked.2.
(PAID) Flat Inked.3.
(PAID) Big project! x-x; Prep SketchPaypal = Akiriuu[at]gmail.com
Read it, Live by it -> http://sigilgoat.livejournal.com/45567.html
Updates
Nothing new~
FA Stuff/Projects:
~ Remixing my Main character. Just revamping old with some new and recycling my already used stuff. Having a project makes my empty life somewhat filling.
~Might have a new girl and a new guy coming up.
Love you guys!
~Riuu-chan
Comission me!
Posted 12 years agoWhats going on with Me =0
I. am. starving.
Also down to my last few needles for my insulin. My mother actually had the nerve to ask if I had some money for gas.
....
..
=|
Anyway. I need them comissions, folks XD
Here are some ground rules:
- Tell me sketch, ink, detail ink, or color.
- Limit to 4 characters in one drawing session
- I will not take anything less than a dollar (be nice people, I'm desperate.)
- I will TRY to do vanilla porn, but I prefer not to draw porn. I'm not good with it.
- Make sure you give me refs.
- Payment in Advance
- NO REFUNDS. I will show you a prep work sketch and you can make any changes you want until you're satisfied, but once it reaches the final phase, thats it.
- If you can't pay, then pimp.
That is all.
List: No limit to how many pieces I will draw.
1.
2.
Paypal = Akiriuu[at]gmail.com
Read it, Live by it -> http://sigilgoat.livejournal.com/45567.html
Updates
Nothing new~
FA Stuff/Projects:
~ Remixing my Main character. Just revamping old with some new and recycling my already used stuff. Having a project makes my empty life somewhat filling.
~Might have a new girl and a new guy coming up.
Love you guys!
~Riuu-chan
I. am. starving.
Also down to my last few needles for my insulin. My mother actually had the nerve to ask if I had some money for gas.
....
..
=|
Anyway. I need them comissions, folks XD
Here are some ground rules:
- Tell me sketch, ink, detail ink, or color.
- Limit to 4 characters in one drawing session
- I will not take anything less than a dollar (be nice people, I'm desperate.)
- I will TRY to do vanilla porn, but I prefer not to draw porn. I'm not good with it.
- Make sure you give me refs.
- Payment in Advance
- NO REFUNDS. I will show you a prep work sketch and you can make any changes you want until you're satisfied, but once it reaches the final phase, thats it.
- If you can't pay, then pimp.
That is all.
List: No limit to how many pieces I will draw.
1.
2.
Paypal = Akiriuu[at]gmail.com
Read it, Live by it -> http://sigilgoat.livejournal.com/45567.html
Updates
Nothing new~
FA Stuff/Projects:
~ Remixing my Main character. Just revamping old with some new and recycling my already used stuff. Having a project makes my empty life somewhat filling.
~Might have a new girl and a new guy coming up.
Love you guys!
~Riuu-chan
So...
Posted 12 years agoWhats going on with Me =0
I am broke. LOL. Mom took $140.00 bucks (which was all I had left after paying all my bills. All I had to live off of for the next two weeks.)
SO. I am taking commissions now please. Dude, seriously. Hire me. I'll do anything within my capabilities EXCEPT porn (and even then I MIGHT try something softcore/vanilla depending on what it is.)
We can haggle over prices and coloring/inking/designing/whatever. I don't care. Just.....buy something! XD
That being said, I have three mandatory days off of work. Yup. I have worked three years without a va-cay and sooooooo
Monday, tuesday, and wednesday. Off. I am not pleased. At all.
HIRE ME!
Now with that aside. I friggin' beat Pokemon X and I am sooooooo dissapointed. The game seemed...rushed. I mean, the story anyway. Don't get me wrong. It was a touching tale....but it usually takes longer to take a team of baddies down. More detail, more exploring....everything seemed so...so easy. And when it was all said and done, I sat back and was like....huh.
I mean....I beat the game with 1 and a half pokemon. YES! ONE AND A HALF! Meaning I popped out a pokemon when I needed to take care of my main before throwing his ass back out. I BEAT THE CHAMPION WITH ONE POKEMON! ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?!?!
I.
Am dissapoint.....
So. Done with pokemon. Lost all interest really. Gonna go back to Monster Hunter nao.....
Or play with my dying friggin' nintendog.
Also been on a Millia Jovovich kick.
Watched all Resident evil movies and I am now currently watching the 5th element. Man...something about her...I could just...HNNN
Anyways. Yeah, so...hire me. =)
Read it, Live by it -> http://sigilgoat.livejournal.com/45567.html
Updates
Nothing new~
FA Stuff/Projects:
~ Remixing my Main character. Just revamping old with some new and recycling my already used stuff. Having a project makes my empty life somewhat filling.
~Might have a new girl and a new guy coming up.
Love you guys!
~Riuu-chan
I am broke. LOL. Mom took $140.00 bucks (which was all I had left after paying all my bills. All I had to live off of for the next two weeks.)
SO. I am taking commissions now please. Dude, seriously. Hire me. I'll do anything within my capabilities EXCEPT porn (and even then I MIGHT try something softcore/vanilla depending on what it is.)
We can haggle over prices and coloring/inking/designing/whatever. I don't care. Just.....buy something! XD
That being said, I have three mandatory days off of work. Yup. I have worked three years without a va-cay and sooooooo
Monday, tuesday, and wednesday. Off. I am not pleased. At all.
HIRE ME!
Now with that aside. I friggin' beat Pokemon X and I am sooooooo dissapointed. The game seemed...rushed. I mean, the story anyway. Don't get me wrong. It was a touching tale....but it usually takes longer to take a team of baddies down. More detail, more exploring....everything seemed so...so easy. And when it was all said and done, I sat back and was like....huh.
I mean....I beat the game with 1 and a half pokemon. YES! ONE AND A HALF! Meaning I popped out a pokemon when I needed to take care of my main before throwing his ass back out. I BEAT THE CHAMPION WITH ONE POKEMON! ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?!?!
I.
Am dissapoint.....
So. Done with pokemon. Lost all interest really. Gonna go back to Monster Hunter nao.....
Or play with my dying friggin' nintendog.
Also been on a Millia Jovovich kick.
Watched all Resident evil movies and I am now currently watching the 5th element. Man...something about her...I could just...HNNN
Anyways. Yeah, so...hire me. =)
Read it, Live by it -> http://sigilgoat.livejournal.com/45567.html
Updates
Nothing new~
FA Stuff/Projects:
~ Remixing my Main character. Just revamping old with some new and recycling my already used stuff. Having a project makes my empty life somewhat filling.
~Might have a new girl and a new guy coming up.
Love you guys!
~Riuu-chan
-Yaawwwwwwwn-
Posted 12 years agoWhats going on with Me =0
I'm not sure if I am officially back or not =/ What do you guiys think? I am sooo sleepy, right now. I am currently at work playing the role of supervisor....
It is 8:57pm and only an hour to go before home time! Yayyyyy!
I managed to get myself up to date with the FA community (at least, those I watch.) I see a lot of people talking about pokemon and that's understandable. My input on it is this: It's a good game, it went over my expectations, BUT, it also dissapointed me somewhat.
Ok. I LOVE that I can customize my character. FINALLY, a black girl for this black girl. Anyone who knows me (seriously knows me) knows that I have the biggest boner for anything customizable. I love games that give me the freedom to do as I friggin' please with my character. (Like the sims XD...)
So, that was a big HNN moment for me. Also, I love the connectivity...even if it is a little....mmmm....restricted still. My hopes for pokemon was that they made it more MMOish, ya know. Give us free reign on the game, quests, and things. I know it can be done thanks to the download content feature. Also, MMOs for the3 3ds are possible, look at heroes of ruin!
So yeah, it's been about two days since I played it (been busy). But, I think the game is down right decent and a damn good addition to the pokemon family. The graphics remind me of dragonquest 9. Made me giggle.
As for me? I am alright, I suppose. Mother still driving me nuts and keeping me in this blackhole of brokeness. So, I am thinking of comissions again...only if anyone would be interested in my crap. I'm sp desperate I am thinking of just whatever is thrown at me (as long as it is a dollar or more) will get whatever is requested. Seriously. (Except pronz cuz I am no good at that crap. Sooorrry~).
Why? My aunt from washington D.C has come to visit and will need money to get back home and mom is looking at me. Great. It's bad enough that MY lights might get cut off (I paid for her's >=I) aqnd I am STARVING! But I am also running low on meds and now THIS? -huffs- That woman. And instead of saving her money because she KNEW about this months in advance, she blows it on McDonalds, movies, and whatever the hell else suits her fancy. -facepalm-
Whoops....started getting pissed off, didn't mean to vent.
ANNNYYWHOO. So. I am starting to get back into the pace of drawing...well...sketching really. I may or may not have time to catch up on all my notes and comments, I might have to come back to them. So do know I am not ignoring you guys! Just...blah...
I think I have turned into a recluse. I don't leave home if I don't have to and I have started avoiding people like the plague. I am hating this side of myself because I want to enjoy life more than what I am. I need an adventure....or friends...or something, but...damn it...I am so picky. I hate most people >< (cuz' they be meanz...or stupid....god, i'm going to be one of those cranky old women XD)
-COUGH- so besides that >> I am searching for a second job still, want to go back to school..will do so next year sometime. My local gamestop is hiring, which sucks because I can't work those hours while with my current job. I need a graveyard shift. =I
I want a dog. -_-
I want a tablet...because I think I can do it. But I need a new pc first, but before I can get the new pc, I need a new phone because my current one is being a jerk....but before that, I need my own mode of transportation so I don't have to rely on my mom for that and be her slave because she can be a bitch and threaten me with not taking me to work which would suck if I don't have cab fare which would suck even more because cabfare would take away from something else I would need....=/
I mean...she is nice enough to let me give her gas when I can, I'll give her that.
Can't think of anything else to babble about...>3>
Read it, Live by it -> http://sigilgoat.livejournal.com/45567.html
Updates
Nothing new~
FA Stuff/Projects:
~ Remixing my Main character. Just revamping old with some new and recycling my already used stuff. Having a project makes my empty life somewhat filling.
~Might have a new girl and a new guy coming up.
Love you guys!
~Riuu-chan
I'm not sure if I am officially back or not =/ What do you guiys think? I am sooo sleepy, right now. I am currently at work playing the role of supervisor....
It is 8:57pm and only an hour to go before home time! Yayyyyy!
I managed to get myself up to date with the FA community (at least, those I watch.) I see a lot of people talking about pokemon and that's understandable. My input on it is this: It's a good game, it went over my expectations, BUT, it also dissapointed me somewhat.
Ok. I LOVE that I can customize my character. FINALLY, a black girl for this black girl. Anyone who knows me (seriously knows me) knows that I have the biggest boner for anything customizable. I love games that give me the freedom to do as I friggin' please with my character. (Like the sims XD...)
So, that was a big HNN moment for me. Also, I love the connectivity...even if it is a little....mmmm....restricted still. My hopes for pokemon was that they made it more MMOish, ya know. Give us free reign on the game, quests, and things. I know it can be done thanks to the download content feature. Also, MMOs for the3 3ds are possible, look at heroes of ruin!
So yeah, it's been about two days since I played it (been busy). But, I think the game is down right decent and a damn good addition to the pokemon family. The graphics remind me of dragonquest 9. Made me giggle.
As for me? I am alright, I suppose. Mother still driving me nuts and keeping me in this blackhole of brokeness. So, I am thinking of comissions again...only if anyone would be interested in my crap. I'm sp desperate I am thinking of just whatever is thrown at me (as long as it is a dollar or more) will get whatever is requested. Seriously. (Except pronz cuz I am no good at that crap. Sooorrry~).
Why? My aunt from washington D.C has come to visit and will need money to get back home and mom is looking at me. Great. It's bad enough that MY lights might get cut off (I paid for her's >=I) aqnd I am STARVING! But I am also running low on meds and now THIS? -huffs- That woman. And instead of saving her money because she KNEW about this months in advance, she blows it on McDonalds, movies, and whatever the hell else suits her fancy. -facepalm-
Whoops....started getting pissed off, didn't mean to vent.
ANNNYYWHOO. So. I am starting to get back into the pace of drawing...well...sketching really. I may or may not have time to catch up on all my notes and comments, I might have to come back to them. So do know I am not ignoring you guys! Just...blah...
I think I have turned into a recluse. I don't leave home if I don't have to and I have started avoiding people like the plague. I am hating this side of myself because I want to enjoy life more than what I am. I need an adventure....or friends...or something, but...damn it...I am so picky. I hate most people >< (cuz' they be meanz...or stupid....god, i'm going to be one of those cranky old women XD)
-COUGH- so besides that >> I am searching for a second job still, want to go back to school..will do so next year sometime. My local gamestop is hiring, which sucks because I can't work those hours while with my current job. I need a graveyard shift. =I
I want a dog. -_-
I want a tablet...because I think I can do it. But I need a new pc first, but before I can get the new pc, I need a new phone because my current one is being a jerk....but before that, I need my own mode of transportation so I don't have to rely on my mom for that and be her slave because she can be a bitch and threaten me with not taking me to work which would suck if I don't have cab fare which would suck even more because cabfare would take away from something else I would need....=/
I mean...she is nice enough to let me give her gas when I can, I'll give her that.
Can't think of anything else to babble about...>3>
Read it, Live by it -> http://sigilgoat.livejournal.com/45567.html
Updates
Nothing new~
FA Stuff/Projects:
~ Remixing my Main character. Just revamping old with some new and recycling my already used stuff. Having a project makes my empty life somewhat filling.
~Might have a new girl and a new guy coming up.
Love you guys!
~Riuu-chan
Hm Hm Hmmmmm
Posted 12 years agoWhats going on with Me =0
Slowly coming back, yayz. I have missed a lot. I have been gone for a good 4 months without realizing it, wow.
I hope everyone has been doing well.
So, who has a 3DS and wants to swap friendcodes with me? I dabble with swapnote (fair warning) so you may get sent a random ass message XD.
I have a lot of multi-player games. I plan on getting mario kart soon, but the game I want to play most with someone is Heroes of Ruin. I have yet to beat it because I don't want to beat it...if that makes sense to anyone. -chuckles-
Also wanting to play Animal crossings and Pokemon X (when I get it) with others.
EDIT: I s'pose I should have put my Friendcode up, eh. Do note I reserve the right to NOT add you if I don't want to. So..yeah.
Friendcode: 3523-2222-1288
Read it, Live by it -> http://sigilgoat.livejournal.com/45567.html
Updates
Nothing new~
FA Stuff/Projects:
~ Remixing my Main character. Just revamping old with some new and recycling my already used stuff. Having a project makes my empty life somewhat filling.
~ Been revamping my F-List profile. You can see it here:
http://www.f-list.net/c/Akiriuu
Love you guys!
~Riuu-chan
Slowly coming back, yayz. I have missed a lot. I have been gone for a good 4 months without realizing it, wow.
I hope everyone has been doing well.
So, who has a 3DS and wants to swap friendcodes with me? I dabble with swapnote (fair warning) so you may get sent a random ass message XD.
I have a lot of multi-player games. I plan on getting mario kart soon, but the game I want to play most with someone is Heroes of Ruin. I have yet to beat it because I don't want to beat it...if that makes sense to anyone. -chuckles-
Also wanting to play Animal crossings and Pokemon X (when I get it) with others.
EDIT: I s'pose I should have put my Friendcode up, eh. Do note I reserve the right to NOT add you if I don't want to. So..yeah.
Friendcode: 3523-2222-1288
Read it, Live by it -> http://sigilgoat.livejournal.com/45567.html
Updates
Nothing new~
FA Stuff/Projects:
~ Remixing my Main character. Just revamping old with some new and recycling my already used stuff. Having a project makes my empty life somewhat filling.
~ Been revamping my F-List profile. You can see it here:
http://www.f-list.net/c/Akiriuu
Love you guys!
~Riuu-chan
-Shifty Eyes-
Posted 12 years agoWhats going on with Me =0
Hi, all. How have you been? Me? I am working on returning to the net...sorta. I mean. I have to really organize my time better. Include some free time for myself. My free time enjoyments include exercise (now, lol. Pushing my body past it's limits helps me deal with my stress and anxiety.) Gaming, Netflix, RPing, Sketching, and reading. For the past few months, I rarely have had that time. (Note 'socializing' was not part of my fav pastimes...LOL! Yeah. Lost a friend or two due to that...but, it wasn't that great a friendship. You should not be afraid to be yourself in a friendship. Nor should you feel you have to stand behind that friend if you know they are not right or doing something you don't approve of.)
Anyway. Look, the babbler is making a comeback XD
Now then. Coming back to all the social/art places, I will need to try to work out a time for such things. 24 hours is not enough. I s'pose people are curious about what I have been getting myself into. Well...I won't tell all the gritty details, but here is a decent summary.
Work: Well. I have worked a month and a half nonstop without a day off and due to the job itself, I was slowly loosing my mind. I mean, I have worked 3 jobs at once, most of you know that. So working without a day off for so long didn't phase me. It was just the lack of scene change. Dealing with the customers bull everyday =A=! The same stupid questions, the same bad attitudes! I even had a sore throat for a week because I had to keep repeating myself and raising my voice because the people feel they DON'T have to turn their radio down to hear me. What. The. Hell.
Anywho. Now. We have lost 3 people. One was fired for stealing money. One went on maternity leave for 3 months. And one resigned out of the blue after working for 10 years. What does this mean? I, being the most reliable, have shouldered the weight of the loss by filling in all random positions. How did I get a break today? Well. My head supervisor took pity on me. The second supervisor actually wanted me to work. Also I will be taking the role of one of the secondary supervisors (again) tomorrow. Yes. I have been doing supervisor work due to being such an awesome friggin' employee. =|
I have also been spending my free time searching for another job. Why, you ask? The overtime should be doing me just fine? Nope. All the overtime I put in....I managed $800.00 bucks. Living on my own, I am still caring for my mom and burdening her...well, burdens. So, it is not enough. I mean. I almost got evicted because I used my rent money to help her. So. I need to get a graveyard shift job. Working all night would be easier since my day schedule is just a mess.
Family: My oldest brother and his wife were put out. They lost their house. And moved in with mom. Mom is now a never ending ball of stress because my sister in law is a bitch. It's a long compex story of how mom and those two have clashed through the years. My dear brother is such a loyal husband that his evil wife, who put him in so much financial strife, gets away with any and everything. Right now my mother is pissed that they are not paying her the rents they discussed. $300.00 bucks a month. (I paid $400.00...) they are only gving her $200.00. When they feel like it.
My middle brother beat his girlfriend for talking back to him after she found out he was cheating on her with two other girls. This girlfriend gave up her children to their father and moved from virginia to georgia to be with him. Bought him a car, paid the rent, and bills, supported him while he went to barber school. Yeah. My middle bro is a douche. It bothered his chick that I wouldn't open up to her. But I couldn't bring myself to tell her that there was no point because she wouldn't last. I was right. As usual. So I wasn't so surprised about this.
There is so much more. Just no that everyone looks to the blacksheep (me) for all sorts of support. It got to me once, but I didn't break. I might be close to breaking...at least, I think I am, but I don't feel like I am. I just keep going one day at a time.
Me: While working. I found a lil 2 or 3 week old kitten and took her in. I hate her more, everyday. I bottle fed her, and helped her potty, and now she is a vibrant, hard food eatting, litter using, pain in the ass. Tate HATED her. Now she tolerates the little pain. And I know Tate is still pissed at me for bringing her in. I named the kitten Mocha and call her Mo for short. But there is something about her personality that makes me want to flush her down the toilet. When I first brought her in, Tate pitched a fit and went into her kennel and refused to come out for 3 days. When she did, all I kept getting were dirty looks. THEN, when I try to give Mo some love, Tate would intervine.
Home life is hectic. I need to find Mo a new home and soon.
I haven't rped for a few weeks. That was like the BIGGEST stress relief for me and I have been feeling on edge from lack of it. I met a cool guy when I first introduced Lin, WAAAYYYYYY Back when. I developed a crush on him, but he has a girlfriend. He was everything I looked for in a guy. EVERYTHING. Still is, kinda. A bit sensative for my taste, but still....he is a god. Sadly his chick and he broke up recently. It hurts my heart, his pain....
I also met someone through rp. Um...it was really strange. It was like we were dating but we weren't. It was a stressful relationship. It lasted about 3 weeks before it ended abruptly. Psychotic really. Although, when it was over, a lot of stress left my chest. I kinda miss him, but I know it's for the best for both of us.
I want a relationship (romantically) but I know I am not ready for one. I have a lot of stuff to deal with within myself. I am not financially or physically ready. Nor am I emotionally (even though its been 3 years now...). It's kinda difficult for me to deside what I should do about it. Date or no date. I mean, If I did date it wouldn't be for anything serious, so does that make me a jerk? You know...wanting to have fun for once instead of jumping into a serious and committed relationship?
I am really socially awkward and blunty honest, yet damned loyal. However, it's hard for people to grasp that...I AM socially awkward. I do go through long terms without being around. It's hard to keep friends like that, especially over the net. It's like they demand you be around ALL the time. But I just can't. I would love to have friends that understand I am always there for them, even if I am not always there. I do love them, even if I come off as a bit of a jerk, bitch, or asshole. I mean...I ave some. Like Keira-jo, Dark, Brittany, and Belmont. It's a comforting thought. I just wish more people would understand and not take it so personal when I dissapear for a few days...or months (heh). Or if I don't talk as much...-sigh-
Whatever the case. I haven't been drawing for a while, but I am sketching more these days. I hope to refill my gallery with some decent stuff. Right now I am recoloring Keira-Jo's commission. I feel like a dick that it took so long =A=.
I'm sorry.
I want me some rp. Reality is 'great' and everything. But meh. Rp inspires my art. Oh. I HAVE been gaming at work. I have been playing monster hunter. Only reason I was able to get it was because of price drops. I fuggin' love that game. Birthday cash in. From Dark, mostly.
I have Harvest moon, monster hunter, pokemon dungeon, project x-zone, and harmo knight (or whatever its called.) So yes. Gaming bomb! I just wish I had someone to play with, ya know. Especially monster hunter and animal crossings. Man...I haven't played animal crossing in some time....all that hard work on my flowers....XD Ah well. Also the new games for the mii plaza on the 3ds are damned cute and fun, too. I find myself spending play coins more so I am not hordeing my coins anymore. lol XD
I am also looking forward to getting my hands on Pokemon X. Dude. It comes out worldwide on a SATURDAY!!!! I am NOT working that day. At all. I am going to be up bright and early and get my hands on that copy and shut myself in my home. (No calls, please XD) and I am going to burn the hell out of that game. It would be awesome if they made it more MMOish, ya know...play the story with at least one other friend. Local AND Wifi. More customization would be nice, too. I am not really all that excited about the mega-evolutions. It just seems lazy. =/
Health: Um....I was back in the hospital due to my diabetes. I passed out...my sugar was high as hell. They couldn't bring it down with the 4 bags of insulin pumped into me. My mentality was like...fine. If I die, I die, but I won't be in this friggin' hospital. I walked. And I was fine. I mean. I have been in hospitals all my life. I was just sick of it. I KNOW I have to do better with my health, but that is a struggle. My mom has been pressuring me to get disability or something, and I don't want to do that. I rather rely on myself than take tax payers money for something that I need to deal with. I mean, As long as I can work, I will be able to take care of what is important.
Although eating healthy...or eating at all is a daily struggle, excercising is, at least, helping. I have some meds, but not all. I need to get them ASAP, and I plan on it when I get the money and my mom doesn't need to constantly borrow, or have me pay a bill, or put gas in her van.
School: Due to bad timing, health issues, and work. I dropped out. I plan on returning in the early months of next year. I know what to expect from the collage, and I feel like I need to pull myself together a bit more before dedicating myself to studies. I hope to have better transportation, a better work schedule, and my health in better order. Wish me luck.
WELL. My life is a tome that I do not plan on writing. So much has been going on, that is just a small spread of jelly on the giant burnt piece of toast that is my life, LOL. So, yeah. That's a bit of what's been going on.
Leave a comment and tell me how you have been doing because....-nukes all that stuff again.-
Read it, Live by it -> http://sigilgoat.livejournal.com/45567.html
Updates
Nothing new~
FA Stuff/Projects:
~ Remixing my Main character. Just revamping old with some new and recycling my already used stuff. Having a project makes my empty life somewhat filling.
~ Been revamping my F-List profile. You can see it here:
http://www.f-list.net/c/Akiriuu
Love you guys!
~Riuu-chan
Hi, all. How have you been? Me? I am working on returning to the net...sorta. I mean. I have to really organize my time better. Include some free time for myself. My free time enjoyments include exercise (now, lol. Pushing my body past it's limits helps me deal with my stress and anxiety.) Gaming, Netflix, RPing, Sketching, and reading. For the past few months, I rarely have had that time. (Note 'socializing' was not part of my fav pastimes...LOL! Yeah. Lost a friend or two due to that...but, it wasn't that great a friendship. You should not be afraid to be yourself in a friendship. Nor should you feel you have to stand behind that friend if you know they are not right or doing something you don't approve of.)
Anyway. Look, the babbler is making a comeback XD
Now then. Coming back to all the social/art places, I will need to try to work out a time for such things. 24 hours is not enough. I s'pose people are curious about what I have been getting myself into. Well...I won't tell all the gritty details, but here is a decent summary.
Work: Well. I have worked a month and a half nonstop without a day off and due to the job itself, I was slowly loosing my mind. I mean, I have worked 3 jobs at once, most of you know that. So working without a day off for so long didn't phase me. It was just the lack of scene change. Dealing with the customers bull everyday =A=! The same stupid questions, the same bad attitudes! I even had a sore throat for a week because I had to keep repeating myself and raising my voice because the people feel they DON'T have to turn their radio down to hear me. What. The. Hell.
Anywho. Now. We have lost 3 people. One was fired for stealing money. One went on maternity leave for 3 months. And one resigned out of the blue after working for 10 years. What does this mean? I, being the most reliable, have shouldered the weight of the loss by filling in all random positions. How did I get a break today? Well. My head supervisor took pity on me. The second supervisor actually wanted me to work. Also I will be taking the role of one of the secondary supervisors (again) tomorrow. Yes. I have been doing supervisor work due to being such an awesome friggin' employee. =|
I have also been spending my free time searching for another job. Why, you ask? The overtime should be doing me just fine? Nope. All the overtime I put in....I managed $800.00 bucks. Living on my own, I am still caring for my mom and burdening her...well, burdens. So, it is not enough. I mean. I almost got evicted because I used my rent money to help her. So. I need to get a graveyard shift job. Working all night would be easier since my day schedule is just a mess.
Family: My oldest brother and his wife were put out. They lost their house. And moved in with mom. Mom is now a never ending ball of stress because my sister in law is a bitch. It's a long compex story of how mom and those two have clashed through the years. My dear brother is such a loyal husband that his evil wife, who put him in so much financial strife, gets away with any and everything. Right now my mother is pissed that they are not paying her the rents they discussed. $300.00 bucks a month. (I paid $400.00...) they are only gving her $200.00. When they feel like it.
My middle brother beat his girlfriend for talking back to him after she found out he was cheating on her with two other girls. This girlfriend gave up her children to their father and moved from virginia to georgia to be with him. Bought him a car, paid the rent, and bills, supported him while he went to barber school. Yeah. My middle bro is a douche. It bothered his chick that I wouldn't open up to her. But I couldn't bring myself to tell her that there was no point because she wouldn't last. I was right. As usual. So I wasn't so surprised about this.
There is so much more. Just no that everyone looks to the blacksheep (me) for all sorts of support. It got to me once, but I didn't break. I might be close to breaking...at least, I think I am, but I don't feel like I am. I just keep going one day at a time.
Me: While working. I found a lil 2 or 3 week old kitten and took her in. I hate her more, everyday. I bottle fed her, and helped her potty, and now she is a vibrant, hard food eatting, litter using, pain in the ass. Tate HATED her. Now she tolerates the little pain. And I know Tate is still pissed at me for bringing her in. I named the kitten Mocha and call her Mo for short. But there is something about her personality that makes me want to flush her down the toilet. When I first brought her in, Tate pitched a fit and went into her kennel and refused to come out for 3 days. When she did, all I kept getting were dirty looks. THEN, when I try to give Mo some love, Tate would intervine.
Home life is hectic. I need to find Mo a new home and soon.
I haven't rped for a few weeks. That was like the BIGGEST stress relief for me and I have been feeling on edge from lack of it. I met a cool guy when I first introduced Lin, WAAAYYYYYY Back when. I developed a crush on him, but he has a girlfriend. He was everything I looked for in a guy. EVERYTHING. Still is, kinda. A bit sensative for my taste, but still....he is a god. Sadly his chick and he broke up recently. It hurts my heart, his pain....
I also met someone through rp. Um...it was really strange. It was like we were dating but we weren't. It was a stressful relationship. It lasted about 3 weeks before it ended abruptly. Psychotic really. Although, when it was over, a lot of stress left my chest. I kinda miss him, but I know it's for the best for both of us.
I want a relationship (romantically) but I know I am not ready for one. I have a lot of stuff to deal with within myself. I am not financially or physically ready. Nor am I emotionally (even though its been 3 years now...). It's kinda difficult for me to deside what I should do about it. Date or no date. I mean, If I did date it wouldn't be for anything serious, so does that make me a jerk? You know...wanting to have fun for once instead of jumping into a serious and committed relationship?
I am really socially awkward and blunty honest, yet damned loyal. However, it's hard for people to grasp that...I AM socially awkward. I do go through long terms without being around. It's hard to keep friends like that, especially over the net. It's like they demand you be around ALL the time. But I just can't. I would love to have friends that understand I am always there for them, even if I am not always there. I do love them, even if I come off as a bit of a jerk, bitch, or asshole. I mean...I ave some. Like Keira-jo, Dark, Brittany, and Belmont. It's a comforting thought. I just wish more people would understand and not take it so personal when I dissapear for a few days...or months (heh). Or if I don't talk as much...-sigh-
Whatever the case. I haven't been drawing for a while, but I am sketching more these days. I hope to refill my gallery with some decent stuff. Right now I am recoloring Keira-Jo's commission. I feel like a dick that it took so long =A=.
I'm sorry.
I want me some rp. Reality is 'great' and everything. But meh. Rp inspires my art. Oh. I HAVE been gaming at work. I have been playing monster hunter. Only reason I was able to get it was because of price drops. I fuggin' love that game. Birthday cash in. From Dark, mostly.
I have Harvest moon, monster hunter, pokemon dungeon, project x-zone, and harmo knight (or whatever its called.) So yes. Gaming bomb! I just wish I had someone to play with, ya know. Especially monster hunter and animal crossings. Man...I haven't played animal crossing in some time....all that hard work on my flowers....XD Ah well. Also the new games for the mii plaza on the 3ds are damned cute and fun, too. I find myself spending play coins more so I am not hordeing my coins anymore. lol XD
I am also looking forward to getting my hands on Pokemon X. Dude. It comes out worldwide on a SATURDAY!!!! I am NOT working that day. At all. I am going to be up bright and early and get my hands on that copy and shut myself in my home. (No calls, please XD) and I am going to burn the hell out of that game. It would be awesome if they made it more MMOish, ya know...play the story with at least one other friend. Local AND Wifi. More customization would be nice, too. I am not really all that excited about the mega-evolutions. It just seems lazy. =/
Health: Um....I was back in the hospital due to my diabetes. I passed out...my sugar was high as hell. They couldn't bring it down with the 4 bags of insulin pumped into me. My mentality was like...fine. If I die, I die, but I won't be in this friggin' hospital. I walked. And I was fine. I mean. I have been in hospitals all my life. I was just sick of it. I KNOW I have to do better with my health, but that is a struggle. My mom has been pressuring me to get disability or something, and I don't want to do that. I rather rely on myself than take tax payers money for something that I need to deal with. I mean, As long as I can work, I will be able to take care of what is important.
Although eating healthy...or eating at all is a daily struggle, excercising is, at least, helping. I have some meds, but not all. I need to get them ASAP, and I plan on it when I get the money and my mom doesn't need to constantly borrow, or have me pay a bill, or put gas in her van.
School: Due to bad timing, health issues, and work. I dropped out. I plan on returning in the early months of next year. I know what to expect from the collage, and I feel like I need to pull myself together a bit more before dedicating myself to studies. I hope to have better transportation, a better work schedule, and my health in better order. Wish me luck.
WELL. My life is a tome that I do not plan on writing. So much has been going on, that is just a small spread of jelly on the giant burnt piece of toast that is my life, LOL. So, yeah. That's a bit of what's been going on.
Leave a comment and tell me how you have been doing because....-nukes all that stuff again.-
Read it, Live by it -> http://sigilgoat.livejournal.com/45567.html
Updates
Nothing new~
FA Stuff/Projects:
~ Remixing my Main character. Just revamping old with some new and recycling my already used stuff. Having a project makes my empty life somewhat filling.
~ Been revamping my F-List profile. You can see it here:
http://www.f-list.net/c/Akiriuu
Love you guys!
~Riuu-chan
No Worries
Posted 12 years agoSome may have noticed my gallery. No Worries. Everything is in the scraps.
I am just working on my come back, I s'pose. I wanted a fresh slate so all my old stuff has been moved. I was going to delete quite a few, but I noticed the ones I wanted to delete had favs....so people liked those pictures. And the ones I liked didn't have any favs....but I still kinda like them.
So moving them all to scraps seemed the logical solution.
Soooo.....working on coming back, bit by bit. Until then, I will just be nuking everything...-sigh-
I am just working on my come back, I s'pose. I wanted a fresh slate so all my old stuff has been moved. I was going to delete quite a few, but I noticed the ones I wanted to delete had favs....so people liked those pictures. And the ones I liked didn't have any favs....but I still kinda like them.
So moving them all to scraps seemed the logical solution.
Soooo.....working on coming back, bit by bit. Until then, I will just be nuking everything...-sigh-
Workin' On it!
Posted 12 years agoComing back, that is.
Socially killed myself. Been rping mostly. Gaming sorta. Job. Life. Yeah.
Sooooo....gonna nuke stuff. Don't need/want to come back to see peoples bullshit drama.
Not saying all of you have that. But..you know.
So erm...Yeah. Heads up. I'm gonna be back...REAL SOON XD
-cackles-
-And nuke over 5000 pieces of art, over 1000 journals, comments, and ALL OF IT....Is sorry she will miss out of news and awesome art.-
Socially killed myself. Been rping mostly. Gaming sorta. Job. Life. Yeah.
Sooooo....gonna nuke stuff. Don't need/want to come back to see peoples bullshit drama.
Not saying all of you have that. But..you know.
So erm...Yeah. Heads up. I'm gonna be back...REAL SOON XD
-cackles-
-And nuke over 5000 pieces of art, over 1000 journals, comments, and ALL OF IT....Is sorry she will miss out of news and awesome art.-
Now in Theatre's
Posted 12 years agoWhats going on with Me =0
Hey-yo.
I guess I will put a quick update now.
I made my goal, thanks to those who comissioned me. However, I had to depend on myself again. Mom made it seem like she would help when she got her check in. Nope. Let me down.
I had to come up with something, so I did. And i'm good. I have my apartment. I move in this weekend. The water is off....AGAIN. I swear my mom has no idea how to handle responsibility. She relies on others too much, also. -rubs her temples- Anywho. My health is still declining. Luckily, I think I will be able to get my meds when I go see my doctor onthe 25th of June.
Dark has been sending me little things I need and has helped me out a lot. I was so worried for Tate because I couldn't buy her the things she needed. Well, Dark saw to that and then some. Such a good friend. Real sweet.
School is tough, it takes up all of my free time. I make some free time so I can find some RP to relieve stress.
I am very....hesitant to even bother with skype anymore. Considering the things that happened on there recently....my affection is starting to drop the more I think on the issue. I don't like people assuming things about me, especially wrong things. Oh well. We'll see what happens.
That being said...I think I prefer my solitude. The small handful of people I do awknowledge as friends are all I really want or need. At least....the one's who actually understand. Like Keira ^^
I hadn't spoken to her since I was 14. I am 27 now. Come on...and she welcomed me back with open and understanding arms. She tells me her problems and I tell her mine. We offer advice and comfort but no harsh jusgements. I hardly ever see/speak to her though, but there's not strain.
That is a nice, stressless friendship. I guess that is because we are mature adults. -shrug-
I like cozy friendships. That's why I am not as close to many people. Too many clingy, dramatic, insane people on the net. I even have a net stalker. It's weird.
Anywho. I have my phone back. Another setback, but once I am on my own, I can right my wrongs.
I don't think I will be as active on FA anymore. Too much drama, too many weirdo's.
I'm sorry if I am not into gender bending. I am so friggin' traditional. I have my quirks, yes, and I am not trying to judge you. But sometimes I get uncomfortable...especially by who follows me or the sort of comments given.
-rubs the back of her neck- Ah well. Not like i'm here all the time.
I AM going to try to clear my updates...
1697 Submissions
57 Comments
412 Journals.
Why, oh, why do I not nuke? -_-;; I go through every journal like a nutball.
Since school is out tonight, I have the time, I guess. But I still have to go to bed early for work.
Lol. I'm Applejack.
http://www.bronyland.com/pony-perso.....TY3NXw2NDcxMzM
Read it, Live by it -> http://sigilgoat.livejournal.com/45567.html
Updates
Nothing New
FA Stuff/Projects:
-Most likely going to scrap every piece of art in my gallery and stick with my new OC Lin.
~Ref Sheets for my girls
Love you guys!
~Riuu-chan
Hey-yo.
I guess I will put a quick update now.
I made my goal, thanks to those who comissioned me. However, I had to depend on myself again. Mom made it seem like she would help when she got her check in. Nope. Let me down.
I had to come up with something, so I did. And i'm good. I have my apartment. I move in this weekend. The water is off....AGAIN. I swear my mom has no idea how to handle responsibility. She relies on others too much, also. -rubs her temples- Anywho. My health is still declining. Luckily, I think I will be able to get my meds when I go see my doctor onthe 25th of June.
Dark has been sending me little things I need and has helped me out a lot. I was so worried for Tate because I couldn't buy her the things she needed. Well, Dark saw to that and then some. Such a good friend. Real sweet.
School is tough, it takes up all of my free time. I make some free time so I can find some RP to relieve stress.
I am very....hesitant to even bother with skype anymore. Considering the things that happened on there recently....my affection is starting to drop the more I think on the issue. I don't like people assuming things about me, especially wrong things. Oh well. We'll see what happens.
That being said...I think I prefer my solitude. The small handful of people I do awknowledge as friends are all I really want or need. At least....the one's who actually understand. Like Keira ^^
I hadn't spoken to her since I was 14. I am 27 now. Come on...and she welcomed me back with open and understanding arms. She tells me her problems and I tell her mine. We offer advice and comfort but no harsh jusgements. I hardly ever see/speak to her though, but there's not strain.
That is a nice, stressless friendship. I guess that is because we are mature adults. -shrug-
I like cozy friendships. That's why I am not as close to many people. Too many clingy, dramatic, insane people on the net. I even have a net stalker. It's weird.
Anywho. I have my phone back. Another setback, but once I am on my own, I can right my wrongs.
I don't think I will be as active on FA anymore. Too much drama, too many weirdo's.
I'm sorry if I am not into gender bending. I am so friggin' traditional. I have my quirks, yes, and I am not trying to judge you. But sometimes I get uncomfortable...especially by who follows me or the sort of comments given.
-rubs the back of her neck- Ah well. Not like i'm here all the time.
I AM going to try to clear my updates...
1697 Submissions
57 Comments
412 Journals.
Why, oh, why do I not nuke? -_-;; I go through every journal like a nutball.
Since school is out tonight, I have the time, I guess. But I still have to go to bed early for work.
Lol. I'm Applejack.
http://www.bronyland.com/pony-perso.....TY3NXw2NDcxMzM
Read it, Live by it -> http://sigilgoat.livejournal.com/45567.html
Updates
Nothing New
FA Stuff/Projects:
-Most likely going to scrap every piece of art in my gallery and stick with my new OC Lin.
~Ref Sheets for my girls
Love you guys!
~Riuu-chan
Coming Soon
Posted 12 years agoHm. Well....no school tonight. So I will be trying to finish my comissions and update tonight if I can.
I'm at work and not feeling so well.
Anyway. Got my phone, obviously.
Lost my contacts. Some numbers I don't even want back. Too much drama.
Anyway. BBL.
I'm at work and not feeling so well.
Anyway. Got my phone, obviously.
Lost my contacts. Some numbers I don't even want back. Too much drama.
Anyway. BBL.
Well.....
Posted 12 years agoUm...i'm still shaking. But this is just for those who have my number or have me on any messengers. I was robbed an hour ago after school.
My week has been crummy enough, but now I was held at gun point, for the second time in my life and robbed.
So.
My phone is gone.
I don't know when I will get it back. It costs a hundred dollars to get a replacement. T-moble is searching for it...they probably won't find it. The water is off.....
Anyways....
Goal: $5.00/$857.89
It's nice that you guys are wishing me well, but I don't really feel the need to hear you guys say you wish you could help me right now. You CAN help by pimping me out. So pimp my friends, Pimp! lol
I need help. I am way in the red and I have to come up with over 700.00 by the 22nd. -Rubs her temples- cleaning up someones mess. I'll be moving soon, thank god. But until then, if anyone wants some Sonic style art or something like this:
Pencils -
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10331308/
Inks -
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/9775894/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/9850233/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/9448905/
And possibly even this
Color -
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/9949712/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/9419928/
3DS -
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10459477/
Then go here -
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4034965
Read, figure out what you want and let me know.
Tips are appreciated. Thanks again!
Note: normal journal update will come this saturday.
My week has been crummy enough, but now I was held at gun point, for the second time in my life and robbed.
So.
My phone is gone.
I don't know when I will get it back. It costs a hundred dollars to get a replacement. T-moble is searching for it...they probably won't find it. The water is off.....
Anyways....
Goal: $5.00/$857.89
It's nice that you guys are wishing me well, but I don't really feel the need to hear you guys say you wish you could help me right now. You CAN help by pimping me out. So pimp my friends, Pimp! lol
I need help. I am way in the red and I have to come up with over 700.00 by the 22nd. -Rubs her temples- cleaning up someones mess. I'll be moving soon, thank god. But until then, if anyone wants some Sonic style art or something like this:
Pencils -
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10331308/
Inks -
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/9775894/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/9850233/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/9448905/
And possibly even this
Color -
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/9949712/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/9419928/
3DS -
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10459477/
Then go here -
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4034965
Read, figure out what you want and let me know.
Tips are appreciated. Thanks again!
Note: normal journal update will come this saturday.
Commission Me, please.
Posted 12 years agoI need help. I am way in the red and I have to come up with over 700.00 by the 22nd. -Rubs her temples- cleaning up someones mess. I'll be moving soon, thank god. But until then, if anyone wants some Sonic style art or something like this:
Pencils -
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10331308/
Inks -
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/9775894/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/9850233/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/9448905/
And possibly even this
Color -
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/9949712/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/9419928/
3DS -
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10459477/
Then go here -
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4034965
Read, figure out what you want and let me know.
Tips are appreciated. Thanks again!
Note: normal journal update will come this saturday.
Pencils -
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10331308/
Inks -
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/9775894/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/9850233/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/9448905/
And possibly even this
Color -
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/9949712/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/9419928/
3DS -
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10459477/
Then go here -
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4034965
Read, figure out what you want and let me know.
Tips are appreciated. Thanks again!
Note: normal journal update will come this saturday.
Hi There~
Posted 12 years agoWhats going on with Me =0
It has been awhile, huh? Well -rubs hands together- Let's get right to it.
I have been spending my time out in the streets attempting to better myself. Instead of sitting around letting life pass me by and allowing others to hold me back (Be it nagging moms, or bitchy friends, or myself), I have been walking to find jobs and I have been working a little extra on the side, and going back and forth to this college so I can join in and get a better educationg AND applying for affordable apartments. I am exhausted! And I am loving it. The days have gone by so quickly.
Well. For starters, my promotion begins Monday. W00t. I don't have to work with my pain in the ass co-worker, double w00t. I finally managed to get my nurse's visit in. My blood pressure is amazing and I lost a little weight (I love herbal tea's!). I still don't have my meds, and although I have been a bit sluggish, I am progressing as best I can. I won'r be able to get my meds until I see my doc, and I won't be able to see him until June. So next paycheck...I will be going to wal-mart and purchasing my own meds to get me by. Yes. Wal-mart. Go figure.
It's amazing what you learn when you research. Lemme see. Ah. While my lil bro and sis where playing with a baseball, I got smacked in the cheek with it. Yes. It hurt, horribly. You see, it hit my wisdom tooth on the left that already had a hole in it and was getting bad. It caused the tooth to get a split from the hole up into the gums and...wow. Pain. So, tuesday, I had to have an emergency dental visit to get the tooth out. Sadly, it didn't go so well. You see, my mouth is really small. My dentist had a hard time getting the first tooth out, and this one was worse. He actually wanted to break my friggin jaw. WTF. I think he was joking, but I dunno.....
Anyway, he had to shove a needle into the roof of my mouth. It was so painful. Then he had to cut at gum and cheek meat. The tooth got snagged in some meat. And....long story short...pain. Lots and lots of pain. God damn it. I am glad it's over with but I am still recovering. My cheek was swollen for awhile, it was hard to eat and drink. Wednesday night I laughed and split my healing gum open and more blood. Yay. But that bill killed me for the month. Anywho, I am doing good now. (I'll show you the tooth XD) And ready to go. Classes start tuesday. So my schedule will look like this....
M-W: Work 12p-6p then class at 6:30p to 10p
T-F: Work 8a-6p then class from 6:30p to 10p
Weekends are free unless mom has more work for me, lol. I am waiting for this one apartment to get back with me. It's affordable and its a studio. It should be just fine for me and Tate. It's not perma, ya know. I just hope they clean it good beause sheesh, the smell was god awful when you go in. It smells like something died in there. Gawd.
Um...-taps her cheek- ...oh..-eyes soften-....Dark is waiting....Nothing is set in stone. But..maybe I will....one more time....everyone deserves chances, right? He has been there, he has supported me, cheered me on, even helped me when I was down and out. He has changed a lot. I'm proud of him. But who knows. It's gonna be a year. Things happen within a year. I might fall for someone. I might find my own dream home. Or an engaging career. Who knows. I'm not in the market for anything serious right now anyway. But I would like some RL friends to hang with. I am gonna start going to some Georgia furs events soon. ^-^
Why haven't I been on skype or FA? Read above. LOL. Life in general. I have been busy making progress for myself. Besides. I am tired of negativity, ya know? I want to surround myself with people who want to do better, who want to be positive. Besides...last time I logged onto skype, I got caught up in some bullshit. I really don't need that crap again. Some of the words said still echo in my mind and it angers me a lot.
Besides. Real friends are forever, no matter what. They will understand that you have their back even if you arn't there all the time -shrugs- but people come and people go. I will treasure the good times if it comes to that. If my absense is that much of an issue for you guys, i'm sorry. But I have a life to live and I am trying to get out of this hole. I make time when I have it. For those of you who understand this, thank you. Those that don't.....well. -shrug-
I feel like I might have forgotten some news...but =3= hurr....maybe next journal. I might get on skype later...but i'm not sure. I have been doing fine without the net. I just miss gaming and drawing. Hurrrrrr.....
Anyways....got to update my FA crap now....772 submissions....244 journals =3= damn it....
Oh yeah, the gas was off for a little while. I mean it got shut off RIGHT when the weather decided to get cold again =3=
Lol. I'm Applejack.
http://www.bronyland.com/pony-perso.....TY3NXw2NDcxMzM
Read it, Live by it -> http://sigilgoat.livejournal.com/45567.html
Updates
Nope. Nothing new.
FA Stuff/Projects:
-Gonna be doing a lot of updating on my gallery. I am going to organize it so a lot of things will be put into my Scraps and a lot of scraps will be destroyed, maybe.
~Ref Sheets for my girls
~Work on an adventure story about Uni
Love you guys!
~Riuu-chan
It has been awhile, huh? Well -rubs hands together- Let's get right to it.
I have been spending my time out in the streets attempting to better myself. Instead of sitting around letting life pass me by and allowing others to hold me back (Be it nagging moms, or bitchy friends, or myself), I have been walking to find jobs and I have been working a little extra on the side, and going back and forth to this college so I can join in and get a better educationg AND applying for affordable apartments. I am exhausted! And I am loving it. The days have gone by so quickly.
Well. For starters, my promotion begins Monday. W00t. I don't have to work with my pain in the ass co-worker, double w00t. I finally managed to get my nurse's visit in. My blood pressure is amazing and I lost a little weight (I love herbal tea's!). I still don't have my meds, and although I have been a bit sluggish, I am progressing as best I can. I won'r be able to get my meds until I see my doc, and I won't be able to see him until June. So next paycheck...I will be going to wal-mart and purchasing my own meds to get me by. Yes. Wal-mart. Go figure.
It's amazing what you learn when you research. Lemme see. Ah. While my lil bro and sis where playing with a baseball, I got smacked in the cheek with it. Yes. It hurt, horribly. You see, it hit my wisdom tooth on the left that already had a hole in it and was getting bad. It caused the tooth to get a split from the hole up into the gums and...wow. Pain. So, tuesday, I had to have an emergency dental visit to get the tooth out. Sadly, it didn't go so well. You see, my mouth is really small. My dentist had a hard time getting the first tooth out, and this one was worse. He actually wanted to break my friggin jaw. WTF. I think he was joking, but I dunno.....
Anyway, he had to shove a needle into the roof of my mouth. It was so painful. Then he had to cut at gum and cheek meat. The tooth got snagged in some meat. And....long story short...pain. Lots and lots of pain. God damn it. I am glad it's over with but I am still recovering. My cheek was swollen for awhile, it was hard to eat and drink. Wednesday night I laughed and split my healing gum open and more blood. Yay. But that bill killed me for the month. Anywho, I am doing good now. (I'll show you the tooth XD) And ready to go. Classes start tuesday. So my schedule will look like this....
M-W: Work 12p-6p then class at 6:30p to 10p
T-F: Work 8a-6p then class from 6:30p to 10p
Weekends are free unless mom has more work for me, lol. I am waiting for this one apartment to get back with me. It's affordable and its a studio. It should be just fine for me and Tate. It's not perma, ya know. I just hope they clean it good beause sheesh, the smell was god awful when you go in. It smells like something died in there. Gawd.
Um...-taps her cheek- ...oh..-eyes soften-....Dark is waiting....Nothing is set in stone. But..maybe I will....one more time....everyone deserves chances, right? He has been there, he has supported me, cheered me on, even helped me when I was down and out. He has changed a lot. I'm proud of him. But who knows. It's gonna be a year. Things happen within a year. I might fall for someone. I might find my own dream home. Or an engaging career. Who knows. I'm not in the market for anything serious right now anyway. But I would like some RL friends to hang with. I am gonna start going to some Georgia furs events soon. ^-^
Why haven't I been on skype or FA? Read above. LOL. Life in general. I have been busy making progress for myself. Besides. I am tired of negativity, ya know? I want to surround myself with people who want to do better, who want to be positive. Besides...last time I logged onto skype, I got caught up in some bullshit. I really don't need that crap again. Some of the words said still echo in my mind and it angers me a lot.
Besides. Real friends are forever, no matter what. They will understand that you have their back even if you arn't there all the time -shrugs- but people come and people go. I will treasure the good times if it comes to that. If my absense is that much of an issue for you guys, i'm sorry. But I have a life to live and I am trying to get out of this hole. I make time when I have it. For those of you who understand this, thank you. Those that don't.....well. -shrug-
I feel like I might have forgotten some news...but =3= hurr....maybe next journal. I might get on skype later...but i'm not sure. I have been doing fine without the net. I just miss gaming and drawing. Hurrrrrr.....
Anyways....got to update my FA crap now....772 submissions....244 journals =3= damn it....
Oh yeah, the gas was off for a little while. I mean it got shut off RIGHT when the weather decided to get cold again =3=
Lol. I'm Applejack.
http://www.bronyland.com/pony-perso.....TY3NXw2NDcxMzM
Read it, Live by it -> http://sigilgoat.livejournal.com/45567.html
Updates
Nope. Nothing new.
FA Stuff/Projects:
-Gonna be doing a lot of updating on my gallery. I am going to organize it so a lot of things will be put into my Scraps and a lot of scraps will be destroyed, maybe.
~Ref Sheets for my girls
~Work on an adventure story about Uni
Love you guys!
~Riuu-chan
Good News, Everyone! -Sad Smile-
Posted 12 years agoWhats going on with Me =0
I am getting better bit by bit. I am having regular bathroom visits now. (Meaning I am pooping daily so far and not having to pee every friggin 30 minutes, unable to hold it and pee on myself.) Yay~ I am starting to have more energy and I am loosing weight. Although I don't have all my meds, I do have some now. Like Metformin for my diabetes. I have to take two 1000mg pills daily. It's not a good substitute for my insulin, but it gets me by. Actually, I had to take that dosage with 50cc insulin a day to keep myself in check. BUT, with some healthy eatting of cranberry juice, lowfat yogurt, fruits, and salad. I am good to go. My hole (that boil thing) is finally shut all the way now! -cheers- My tea is helping me with my anxiety and stress levels.
I have opted to not go for the apartment as I will not have the funding. I will try again at the end of May. I hope they have an opening then, too. This is my choice and so, I am not dissapointed or stressed out. I know what needs to be done and so...I hope I can get it done and go for it.
Work is work. I have successfully been avoiding my harrasser, although he has taken it upon himself to start calling me on a daily basis again under thepretense of 'work.' Whatever. BUT, I have learned that he will NOT be working with me. FFFFFFFF, HNNNNNNN!!!!! YES -throws hands up- That is one giant victory for me, AND a big load of my shoulders. You have no idea how bad I was freakin out. It was getting to the point where I was going to quit. That's right. And while I was thinking of quitting, I was stressing about getting another job. Pfft. Suck.
I have been a little under the weather about work, though. I mean...I have been wanting to go to some sort of trade school and learn a skill so I might, at least, get a better job. -shrugs- we shall see. I was thinking maybe..billing and coding or something. Just to get by until I find something more meaningful (like gettin into photography)
Also. I am trying not to get myself down but the loneliness is really starting to get to me. It's like everyone has someone but me. It's a stinging slap to the face. After the Belmont incident, one of my co-workers and only real friend at work announced to me her boyfriend of 4 months asked her to marry her. (Or was it while I was still with Bel..hmm..) Anyway. Now she tells me that she is 5 weeks pregnant. ANOTHER Co-worker discovered she was pregnant, too. Wtf. and then
is preggers, too?! -facepalm-
I want love.
I have gotten so desperate to a point that I was actually considering going out to find a one night stand....but I can't. It's just not me. I wouldn't be able to go through with it. One. Men scare the begeezus outta me. Two. It is more than just sex for me. I have to feel intensly for that person. That person has to get through my shield....-sigh- I will be alone forever, I think. Part of me is ok with that...but the other part of me says I need someone to have my heart.
I think of Dark a lot lately....and I have made friends with
He's a sweet guy. A few esteem issues, but hey....don't we all have issues. -rubs her chin- I feel like I am not seriously looking, but I want to seriously look. But it wouldn't be fair for that person because my heart won't be 100% with them.
I keep looking over my shoulder into my past...hoping. I have issues =/ I have hit the point where I keep the tv on 24/7 just so I hear other voices. Otherwise my room is completely quiet. Save the voices in my head, my fan, and sometimes Tate will meow. Sometimes I may talk to myself. Or yell at my 3DS. I haven't laughed truly in awhile, nor have I cracked a smile. My family don't count. Since my mom is better and the kids have spring break, they haven't been home as much. It's fine with me because I need the peace from them. I enjoy every moment of them NOT AROUND. When they are around they drive me crazy and I want to kill them.....and I am still lonely. No one to relate to, no one to share my interests with.
INTERMISSION
SACRIFICE
Sacrifice....Look. Relationships are hard work. ALL types of relationships are hard work. But they require commitment, sacrifice, and compromise. They ones that truly matter will see these things through.
If you find someone willing to go to hell and back for you...keep them close. Just because you didn't ask them to sacrifice for you doesn't mean a damn thing. They do it out of love. If you love someone you would do anything for them whether they ask you to or not.
You would sacrifice, too. No excuses. To come up with excuses as to NOT make a sacrifice or tell them 'I never asked you to sacrifice for me' is an asshole, selfish, and hurtful thing to do.
So....don't give up on those who are willing to give for you. Those who love you so strongly that they don't mind giving what they don't have at their own expense....that's love, man....That's love....
I even found myself going through the craigslist personel ads.
I am so sad -_-;
Chatting on messengers just isn't the same...texting gets tiresome. I am never comfy with voice and video unless we are SUPER close. And...well...I wanna rp....
I am so behind in life that I JUST got the chance to see resident evil retribution. Anyone else think Leon looks ugly as phuq? =/
OH YEAH! Thank you guys for all the kind notes, too!!! I am sorry I don't really respond, but I have read them all! Thank you!!!
Lol. I'm Applejack.
http://www.bronyland.com/pony-perso.....TY3NXw2NDcxMzM
Read it, Live by it -> http://sigilgoat.livejournal.com/45567.html
Updates
Website: http://akiriuu.weebly.com/uni.html
I updated Some Main Info on Uni and the front page about me. I just linked to an old page with some still legit info about who I am. Also, the main Edit for Uni explains the upcoming changes to her look.
FA Stuff/Projects:
-Gonna be doing a lot of updating on my gallery. I am going to organize it so a lot of things will be put into my Scraps and a lot of scraps will be destroyed, maybe.
~Ref Sheets for my girls
~Work on an adventure story about Uni
Love you guys!
~Riuu-chan
I am getting better bit by bit. I am having regular bathroom visits now. (Meaning I am pooping daily so far and not having to pee every friggin 30 minutes, unable to hold it and pee on myself.) Yay~ I am starting to have more energy and I am loosing weight. Although I don't have all my meds, I do have some now. Like Metformin for my diabetes. I have to take two 1000mg pills daily. It's not a good substitute for my insulin, but it gets me by. Actually, I had to take that dosage with 50cc insulin a day to keep myself in check. BUT, with some healthy eatting of cranberry juice, lowfat yogurt, fruits, and salad. I am good to go. My hole (that boil thing) is finally shut all the way now! -cheers- My tea is helping me with my anxiety and stress levels.
I have opted to not go for the apartment as I will not have the funding. I will try again at the end of May. I hope they have an opening then, too. This is my choice and so, I am not dissapointed or stressed out. I know what needs to be done and so...I hope I can get it done and go for it.
Work is work. I have successfully been avoiding my harrasser, although he has taken it upon himself to start calling me on a daily basis again under thepretense of 'work.' Whatever. BUT, I have learned that he will NOT be working with me. FFFFFFFF, HNNNNNNN!!!!! YES -throws hands up- That is one giant victory for me, AND a big load of my shoulders. You have no idea how bad I was freakin out. It was getting to the point where I was going to quit. That's right. And while I was thinking of quitting, I was stressing about getting another job. Pfft. Suck.
I have been a little under the weather about work, though. I mean...I have been wanting to go to some sort of trade school and learn a skill so I might, at least, get a better job. -shrugs- we shall see. I was thinking maybe..billing and coding or something. Just to get by until I find something more meaningful (like gettin into photography)
Also. I am trying not to get myself down but the loneliness is really starting to get to me. It's like everyone has someone but me. It's a stinging slap to the face. After the Belmont incident, one of my co-workers and only real friend at work announced to me her boyfriend of 4 months asked her to marry her. (Or was it while I was still with Bel..hmm..) Anyway. Now she tells me that she is 5 weeks pregnant. ANOTHER Co-worker discovered she was pregnant, too. Wtf. and then
is preggers, too?! -facepalm- I want love.
I have gotten so desperate to a point that I was actually considering going out to find a one night stand....but I can't. It's just not me. I wouldn't be able to go through with it. One. Men scare the begeezus outta me. Two. It is more than just sex for me. I have to feel intensly for that person. That person has to get through my shield....-sigh- I will be alone forever, I think. Part of me is ok with that...but the other part of me says I need someone to have my heart.
I think of Dark a lot lately....and I have made friends with
He's a sweet guy. A few esteem issues, but hey....don't we all have issues. -rubs her chin- I feel like I am not seriously looking, but I want to seriously look. But it wouldn't be fair for that person because my heart won't be 100% with them.
I keep looking over my shoulder into my past...hoping. I have issues =/ I have hit the point where I keep the tv on 24/7 just so I hear other voices. Otherwise my room is completely quiet. Save the voices in my head, my fan, and sometimes Tate will meow. Sometimes I may talk to myself. Or yell at my 3DS. I haven't laughed truly in awhile, nor have I cracked a smile. My family don't count. Since my mom is better and the kids have spring break, they haven't been home as much. It's fine with me because I need the peace from them. I enjoy every moment of them NOT AROUND. When they are around they drive me crazy and I want to kill them.....and I am still lonely. No one to relate to, no one to share my interests with.
INTERMISSION
SACRIFICE
Sacrifice....Look. Relationships are hard work. ALL types of relationships are hard work. But they require commitment, sacrifice, and compromise. They ones that truly matter will see these things through.
If you find someone willing to go to hell and back for you...keep them close. Just because you didn't ask them to sacrifice for you doesn't mean a damn thing. They do it out of love. If you love someone you would do anything for them whether they ask you to or not.
You would sacrifice, too. No excuses. To come up with excuses as to NOT make a sacrifice or tell them 'I never asked you to sacrifice for me' is an asshole, selfish, and hurtful thing to do.
So....don't give up on those who are willing to give for you. Those who love you so strongly that they don't mind giving what they don't have at their own expense....that's love, man....That's love....
I even found myself going through the craigslist personel ads.
I am so sad -_-;
Chatting on messengers just isn't the same...texting gets tiresome. I am never comfy with voice and video unless we are SUPER close. And...well...I wanna rp....
I am so behind in life that I JUST got the chance to see resident evil retribution. Anyone else think Leon looks ugly as phuq? =/
OH YEAH! Thank you guys for all the kind notes, too!!! I am sorry I don't really respond, but I have read them all! Thank you!!!
Lol. I'm Applejack.
http://www.bronyland.com/pony-perso.....TY3NXw2NDcxMzM
Read it, Live by it -> http://sigilgoat.livejournal.com/45567.html
Updates
Website: http://akiriuu.weebly.com/uni.html
I updated Some Main Info on Uni and the front page about me. I just linked to an old page with some still legit info about who I am. Also, the main Edit for Uni explains the upcoming changes to her look.
FA Stuff/Projects:
-Gonna be doing a lot of updating on my gallery. I am going to organize it so a lot of things will be put into my Scraps and a lot of scraps will be destroyed, maybe.
~Ref Sheets for my girls
~Work on an adventure story about Uni
Love you guys!
~Riuu-chan
Hurr
Posted 12 years agoWhats going on with Me =0
Hi. I know a lot are concenred so this is mainly an I am still alive post. Keira sent me a note on my 3ds that made me want to try to at least doodle, ya know. So I have been doodling. I have some gift art that needs inking and I am in the process of letter writing..again. I dunno if I should send the other two letters in a packet or what XD
That being said...why so much paperwork? Well I seem to be getting worse. I still have some prescription nasuea meds. So my vomiting has gone down. So I am a bit bed ridden. -sigh- it's boring. The thing is, I am still going to work to make ends meet, but each day I push, the longer I stay in bed. It sucks =I I am not scraed, yet. Just mildly annoyed. But at least I have more book time. I just curl up with a plush and watch movies or draw.
Why am I up now? Because I feel ok. I need to stretch my legs. I have a slight headache and I wanted everyone to know I am ok. Besides...I had to update on Uni because I liked the idea I had for her.
I am also worried about a friend. Trying to come up with a way to solve both our money problems has left me a bit axious and flustered. The paycheck coming up next....I just don't know what I am going to do. I hope I have enough to spare. My bills are piling up, but I won't let him down. Besides...I don't mind pushing that apartment I want to get to the side until the end of next month. Maybe they will still have some available ^^
Everything happens for a reason. You gotta stay positive on these things~
That being said, Dark is talking to me again. Yay! This pleases me more than I care to admit. He is trying to get a house. Oh my -///-
Ahem. Anywho. That's me. Still in my sinking boat. But I am spiritually ok! I feel great on the inside. I am thankful for this rush of inner peace and strength. I am definately going to need it. I love you guys. Those with my number, don't hesistate to text me if you want/need.
Remember. I am kinda like Cloud. Just because I don't respond, doesn't mean I don't care. I love you guys and will protect my friends with my all.
Lol. I'm Applejack.
http://www.bronyland.com/pony-perso.....TY3NXw2NDcxMzM
Read it, Live by it -> http://sigilgoat.livejournal.com/45567.html
Updates
Website: http://akiriuu.weebly.com/uni.html
I updated Some Main Info on Uni and the front page about me. I just linked to an old page with some still legit info about who I am. Also, the main Edit for Uni explains the upcoming changes to her look.
FA Stuff/Projects:
-Gonna be doing a lot of updating on my gallery. I am going to organize it so a lot of things will be put into my Scraps and a lot of scraps will be destroyed, maybe.
~Ref Sheets for my girls
~Work on an adventure story about Uni
Love you guys!
~Riuu-chan
Hi. I know a lot are concenred so this is mainly an I am still alive post. Keira sent me a note on my 3ds that made me want to try to at least doodle, ya know. So I have been doodling. I have some gift art that needs inking and I am in the process of letter writing..again. I dunno if I should send the other two letters in a packet or what XD
That being said...why so much paperwork? Well I seem to be getting worse. I still have some prescription nasuea meds. So my vomiting has gone down. So I am a bit bed ridden. -sigh- it's boring. The thing is, I am still going to work to make ends meet, but each day I push, the longer I stay in bed. It sucks =I I am not scraed, yet. Just mildly annoyed. But at least I have more book time. I just curl up with a plush and watch movies or draw.
Why am I up now? Because I feel ok. I need to stretch my legs. I have a slight headache and I wanted everyone to know I am ok. Besides...I had to update on Uni because I liked the idea I had for her.
I am also worried about a friend. Trying to come up with a way to solve both our money problems has left me a bit axious and flustered. The paycheck coming up next....I just don't know what I am going to do. I hope I have enough to spare. My bills are piling up, but I won't let him down. Besides...I don't mind pushing that apartment I want to get to the side until the end of next month. Maybe they will still have some available ^^
Everything happens for a reason. You gotta stay positive on these things~
That being said, Dark is talking to me again. Yay! This pleases me more than I care to admit. He is trying to get a house. Oh my -///-
Ahem. Anywho. That's me. Still in my sinking boat. But I am spiritually ok! I feel great on the inside. I am thankful for this rush of inner peace and strength. I am definately going to need it. I love you guys. Those with my number, don't hesistate to text me if you want/need.
Remember. I am kinda like Cloud. Just because I don't respond, doesn't mean I don't care. I love you guys and will protect my friends with my all.
Lol. I'm Applejack.
http://www.bronyland.com/pony-perso.....TY3NXw2NDcxMzM
Read it, Live by it -> http://sigilgoat.livejournal.com/45567.html
Updates
Website: http://akiriuu.weebly.com/uni.html
I updated Some Main Info on Uni and the front page about me. I just linked to an old page with some still legit info about who I am. Also, the main Edit for Uni explains the upcoming changes to her look.
FA Stuff/Projects:
-Gonna be doing a lot of updating on my gallery. I am going to organize it so a lot of things will be put into my Scraps and a lot of scraps will be destroyed, maybe.
~Ref Sheets for my girls
~Work on an adventure story about Uni
Love you guys!
~Riuu-chan
