Life changes, things happen.

Some of you might feel I was never gone, well, most of you who know me now. I mean back in a mental sense, I'm hitting my stride, I'm on the up. I've gotten fully back into the swing of networking with people for the first time in years.

I've learned about myself quite a bit over the last two years (the last time I touched anything on my FA profile or journals). I've grown more accepting of my sexuality, and of who I am.

I'm moving to the Pacific Northwest Coast in two months, and it feels wonderful. There's a feeling of renewal in the air, and a sense of a fresh start. The pieces are falling into place.

I'm currently in the progress of working to get some art of a new character, including an icon I hope to get within a week or two. I'm of course not getting rid of my blue dragon, I'm way to attached to the character and have to many memories to say that is no longer me.

Lets see where things go from here.

So, I've not been to a Con, any, of any kind (unless you count renfaires) howevering, being that MFF is about 4 hours away from me, it is a possibility, and at $45 entry fee for all three days, its not out of my budget, until I start considering hotels, because ~$150 a night is not in my budget....

If anyone has any thoughts or ideas or so forth, I'm all ears.


Edit: Looking at the overflow hotels, I suppose I could probably manage $119 a night for friday night and saterday night, but, that's stretching my money. However this possibility does mean that any potential roommates would be good to hear from.

I now have a website of my own.
https://www.desolateutopia.com

Thinking about getting back into SL, anyone know any good places to hang out that they'd be willing to share?

I see where ive been, I see where i could end up, and its not where I want but its the safe, broken and exhausted path, I see what others do for less, and know that it would be so easy, yet completely irrational. The first step is to simply not care. Or at least delude one's self into thinking so.

Isolation, Loneliness, and Solitude

I usually don't post stuff for people's contests but... I did see this one amungst the journals on my watchlist thing (whatever the proper term for that is)

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4857467/

Read the journal, link is in it, artist is a professional artist (as in, does art for a living), and does lots of dragon stuff, some pretty impressive stuff... but yeah, a chance for a piece of free art, winning would be like winning the lottery, but hey :D

If I had money, even though I don't need a badge...: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10931373/

Some day if I ever need a badge what I'll probably get, since I dont have money... : http://www.furaffinity.net/view/9311496/

Both are talented artists, Fun art, the top one, is a professional artist, as in, for a living...

MP3 player/micro tablet got stolen, which had auto loggin to both IRC and Skype, so, heads up to people, in the meantime, I'm changeing Passwords.

So, apparently i had almost 400 Submissions and 400 Journals.... finally got all those sorted out... lets see... think I'm going to install IRC back on my computer and try to get back into things some, been feeling a bit lonely lately, and kinda want to meet some new people. (Friendships fade, so new ones must be made)

Little bit late on the Christmas stuff... but... just found one of these (the other i knew about for a few years)... anyways.... thoughts?

angels we have heard on high, by
Psyborg corp? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sj8nHt8G-dc

or

Oh come all ye faithful by
Rob Halford (judas preist)? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sj8nHt8G-dc

or none of the above?

which do you prefer?

Kinda vanished.... lets see if I cant pick up the activity again...

Found here:

LAYER ONE: THE OUTSIDE
- Name: N/A
- Eye Color: blueish-greenish-greyish with little bits of yellowish
- Hair Style/Color: uhh... brown... dunno style names... not buzcut
- Height: 5' 10.5"
- Clothing style: Jeans and a T-Shirt, the more vibrant the shirt the better.
- Best physical feature: N/A

LAYER TWO: THE INSIDE
- Your fears: dunno
- Your guilty pleasure: none worth noting XD
- Ambitions for the future: hmm.... to live somewhere warmer :D

LAYER THREE: THOUGHTS
- Your first thoughts waking up: *check the time*
- What you think about most: little bits of everything
- What you think about before bed: the contents of the day
- You think your best quality is: Best for what?

LAYER FOUR: WHAT’S BETTER?
- Single or group dates: Dunno... probably single
- To be loved or respected: Not even gonna try to pick....
- Beauty or brains: Brains? (Lets ask the zombies :D )
- Dogs or cats: We're on a furry site... why not add more then just those two animals? I vote dragons.

LAYER FIVE: DO YOU?
- Lie: I avoid doing so....
- Believe in yourself: Eh...
- Believe in love: Yeah
- Believe in magic: No?
- Want someone: Probably...

LAYER SIX: EVER?
- Been on stage: Technically, yes.
- Done drugs: No...
- Changed who you were to fit in: Depends on what is considered as changed.

LAYER SEVEN: FAVORITES
- Favorite color: Orange, or blue.... Depends on the purpose, and my mood, maybe green.
- Favorite animal: Dragon
- Favorite movie: The book of Eli
- Favorite game: Morrowind (Elder scrolls III)

LAYER EIGHT: AGE
- Day your next birthday will be: :P
- How old will you be: See next question.
- Does age matter: Not really

LAYER NINE: IN A BOY OR GIRL
- Best personality I like: Its complex...
- Best eye color I like: Does it matter?
- Best hair color I like: Again, does it matter?
- Best thing to do with a partner: Have fun :D, its good to just chat sometimes, helps maintain a relationship to know eachother.

LAYER TEN: FINISH THE SENTENCE
- I love: uhhh?
- I feel: feelings?
- I hide: Things I feel need to be hidden
- I miss: yesterday. (probably unhealthy... :P )
- I wish: many things.

Someday.... I want to have a friend help me with a jigsaw puzzle via skype.... and complete it, just to say it can be done.

"that piece" "this one?" "no, that piece, to your left" "over here?" "no, up more" "ah, this one" "no that's to far up"

"up? they're on a horizontal surface.... how can they be up?"

My SoFurry is here http://awkrayven.sofurry.com/ I will still be maintaining FA, I'll just be on both.

So, I now have possession of the #dragons channel on IRC, (anthrochat: lion.anthrochat.net will get you online if you're not already), feel free to pop into it, I would love to see it become something.

ok... lets see...

What do you think describes me? good and bad traits?
Cause quite honestly I have trouble coming up with traits that I have, and I'm curious how I'm perceived.

This is a list of commands for my IRC bot. I'm updating it as I add stuff.

Bluebot, (aka Redbot)

***************
specific to FurryChat family freindly IRC network
***************
!join [Channel] -> When sent in a PM it will cause the bot to join said channel.

***************
Misc
***************
"/me presses a button" -> gives a companion cube.
thanks bluebot -> replies "You're welcome".
!about -> same as !help
!describe [nick] -> Describes given nickname if they have a description set. Use !set describe [self] [description] to set.
!help -> gives a short description
!set describe [your nick] [description] -> Creates a description of your nickname to be used with !describe [nick]
!cookie -> the bot gives you a cookie
!milk -> the bot gives you a glass of milk

***************
Communication
***************
!msg [nick] [message contents] -> saves a message which will be relayed to [nick] next time they say something in the presence of the bot, on that network

***************
Statistics
***************
!max users seen -> tells you the highest amount of users that bluebot has seen in the current channel.


***************
Games
***************
!dice [number]d[sides] -> rolls a dice in the format of 1d6 or 5d10, where 1d6 would roll 1 six sided die.
!hdice [number]d[sides] -> same as !dice, only results are hidden and sent in a notice to you.
!set GM [Your nick here] -> sets you as GM.
!set turns [turn list] -> sets a list of turns, useful for remembering who goes when. (only the GM can set, and can only be set in channel)
!turn order -> retrieves the list set by !set turns. (add a channel at the end if requesting in PM)
!set HP [monster name] [monster health] -> If GM tries, will give directions on how to properly doso.
!subtract HP [monster name] [amount] -> subtracts HP from monster. (GM only)
/notice [bot name] !set HP [monster name] [monster health] [channel game is on] -> sets a monster's total health. (GM only)

***************
Chan Op stuff
***************
!identify -> causes the bot to identify itself with chanserv
!reset users seen -> resets the max that the bot has seen for the channel

***************
Obsolete
***************
!cdice [sides] -> rolls a dice with X sides, example: "!cdice 14" will roll a d14.
!hcdice [sides] -> same as !cdice, only it isn't a public response.

---

That'd be all for now, yay perpetual project.

http://youtu.be/wKBSWY2jnGw

tardis in minecraft <.<

Wrote this out mid day on Friday.

Stress and enjoyment go hand in hand. Just as happiness and sadness do. When we practice escapism we forget the stress that must accompany the situation we long for. It would be optimal to be able to perceive life in the same way we perceive our imagined places. However stress is a symptom of emotions. If we removed stress this means we would have to remove the emotions that cause it, unfortunately to remove such emotions would also remove joy. The contrary is not true of joy. As many people know, Joy can be removed without removing stress. The whole situation can pose some interesting thoughts. It would appear that stress is fundamentally tied into the core of our being. It seems to be a fact of life that we all encounter stress. The question becomes, how then do we face stress. There is no place to run from it that it wont find us given enough time, and given the ever changing nature of the universe around us. We each face the world in our own way, see things in our own way, and live life in our own way. However, each of us effects the world around us in ways not visible to anyone living on this earth. Every word you say, ever action taken has an effect, and when the effects are combine, new effects form.

Hmm... My page/profile thingy seems to be incredibly dragon oriented <.< well... guess to explain that... I just haven't seen (nor looked) for many pictures, maybe 1-2 searches for dragons, so haven't had much of a chance for non-dragon pictures to catch my eye. Also, at this moment in time I don't feel confident in my drawing skills to attempt to draw something with fur... (and 3d models take forever to make, of anything). Guess that's all.

Random stuff that I decided to put down on paper (and now on computer) during my lunch.

'In the end we are all truely alone. In the coldness of the mind, no one can be intimate, no one close. They do not know your thoughts, feelings, loves, passions. We are alone, one entity in a suit, as an astronaut in a pressure suit, never to touch the world around him, only much greater, for what is the length and depth of the chasm between mental contact with other minds'

'In affairs of the mind, there is always more to the story, the story encompasses all of who you are, all that you were, and all that you have seen and done. Maters of the mind are wonderfully complex things. Even to him who lives the matter, on further exploration trails will begin to split and twist around in circles till you are so incredibly confused, on the edge of trying to discern the workings of the subconscious, remembering those things you have forgotten.'

'Society has a flow, we are stalling, trapped in a daily cycle, life with no achievement, we work so we can eat and by entertainment. However we fail to get a choice to enjoy that entertainment, we do not work on our own schedule.'

at this point I noticed where I was going and decided I needed to finish things off and stop writing things down

'Society is collapsing, trapped beneath the burden of its desires, trying to achieve the unobtainable, sacrificing assured enjoyment for anticipated happiness that is never reached'

and finally

'Always enjoy yourself but not at the cost of your life, nor at the cost of all future joy'

yeah... not happy stuff, not sure where it came from, but here it is, enjoy, (or not).

thanks to  mercoind

1: would you suggest i keep drawing?
yes

2:what is it that you do to keep your self happy
I... really don't know...

3 how much wood would a wood chuck would a wood chuck could chuck wood:P
4 pieces in a world with 3 people named chuck

4 how do you think they came up with 42
well, give me a startng point, and ill connect it to the ending point

5 what would you do if you ruled the world
Fix it :P and likely get fired for my attempt (unhappy people)

6 how many sonas do you have
1

7 why did you pick them all
Ive always had an affinity for dragons

8 what are you afraid of
Not much

9 when you think of your self do you think of your self as human or furry
Human

10 are you ticklish
sorta, i can resist most tickling

11 do you have any thing that gives you away as a furry
Nothing

so, this was passed on via  louphin

Rules:
1. You must post these rules (DO IT).
Fine :P
2. Each person must post 11 things about themselves in their journal.
Ok
3. Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post, and create eleven new questions for the people you tag to answer.
Hmm... this might take a while (thinking of questions)
4. You have to choose 11 people to tag and post their icons on your journal.
Ok
5. Go to their page and tell them you have tagged him/her.
Ok
6. No tag backs (unless it's a booty call).
I guess that leaves me with 8 people available
7. No stuff in the tagging section about "you are tagged if you are reading this." You legitimately (AKA, really, truly, with all honesty) have to tag 11 people.
I would, if i could, guess you guys get 8 tags (due to no tag-backs)


1) Do you own a tail of your fursona? If not, would you?
No, and not in the foreseeable future.

2) How likely or often do you wear a collar?
Umm, not likely, and never. (wait... that was an or, guess that means just "not likely"

3) If you had the choice, and money wasn't an object, what car would you drive?
Hmm... car... a Lamborghini... (hey, it looks cool), automobile: can i have an H1? (the military hummer), vehicle: if we can make it legal, ill take a tank please :D

4) Who knows both you and your secrets the best?
Hmm... tough question (my secrets, are secrets for a reason...) hard to tell... im not sure there is a one answer, other then this: Me [edit: afterthought, i thought this is worth mentioning, at this point, for the most part, if you are on my watch list at the time it was written, id more then likely consider you a good friend, and therefore a competitor for this answer, finish edit]

5) Not including your own fursona species; what species do you find the most physically attractive?
I plead the fifth, (if you really wanna know, contact me, and i *might* tell you)

6) If you had the ability to "live" though/experience a TV movie; which would you choose?
hmm... oh, oh, not exactly a experiance, but, can I live in the world of "the book of eli"?

7) Play tf2? Then what's your favorite class?
Yes, I guess I do, on request, (I like playing games with people <.< No... not like that... video games) soldier, (yay rocket launchers)

8) What job do you want to be doing in 5 years?
Something enjoyable.

9) What will be the next furry convention you'll attend?
Depends on when, and if, I get the guts to go to one at all

10) What's your favorite computer operating system?
Well, cant say windows 7 trumps all other windows OSs, (unless you need backwards compatiblity... :( ) and i don't care for mac, havent used ubuntu beyond a terminal

11) Who's your favorite furry artist, and, what's your favorite piece they've done? (link)
hmm this might take some pokeing around... 1: i dont know many, 2: i remeber 80% of the name... soo ill retrive it 2 min later: hmm my memory was more accurate then i thought it was Goldwolf, and 2 peices
http://www.goldenwolfen.com/site/wp.....ewaited_01.jpg
http://www.goldenwolfen.com/site/wp.....njester_01.jpg


Intermission: (oh boy, now to think of questions.... this is the hard part, really, it is)

My questions for tagged peoples:

1. What's your favorite holiday?
2. What are you looking forward too?
3. What is one area/subject you are most interested in?
4. Why did you pick the species you picked for your fursona? What's the story behind it? (in short condensed form, no essay needed :P )
5. Where would you like to be in 5 years? (goals)
6. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? (realistically)
7. What is one thing you would recommend to another person?
8. What is your favorite "If" scenario?
9. Are you good at making up questions? (if so, good, if not... oh well :P )
10. What is ketchup?
11. How would you describe yourself?

hah, there got my questions, now to figure out how to get little icons of you people being tagged.

 midnight54672  neantro  lasthaven
 mercoind  christopherd.  flechmen
 koshkarytsar

that should do it, I hope, (want to avoid trying to edit stuff...) well, youve been tagged, lets see what you do, oh and sorry to those of you who someone else tagged, i dont have much of a choice :P

PS: Apparently, that didnt work... :( what did i do wrong.... hmm and, make that 7, its not fair to tag a group

PSS: bah, i give up, you all get URLs :P

PSSS: yay for boredom driving me to fix it

PPPPS: fail on the edit thingy (duplicating wrong letter).... and the fact that im editing it just to write this... shows how insanely bored i am...

ok, that last journal was annoying me on how it made everything else really far below it, so you had to scroll down to see it, sooo... I'm making a (effectively) empty journal to try to fix that problem so that other one isnt my newest journal.

(this journal intentionally made mostly pointless :P )