A ton has happened, some amazing, some sad. I don't think I'll be able to condense it all that well but I am alive and here's what happened:

My last update was September 22nd, 2016. Since then a lot has changed and stayed the same, I found someone also in the furry fandom, I proposed to him and we are married and living together now. He's a great guy and the amount of times we've been at the same conventions and never came across each other, especially since we had a couple of friends in common is still staggering. I still can't believe it all, even three years after getting married.

That's the happiest arc of my life in the last seven years.

One of the saddest is that a good friend passed away due to (afaik) complications from diabetes.

And lastly, I was diagnosed with Chronic lymphocytic leukemia, a cancer of the Blood with just a 5% remission rate (I haven't gone into remission). It is being managed with Medications and my hope is for a long life.

Also, I've gone back to using colakatz, on twitter, bsky, and discord. I also frequent VRChat and twitch (streaming and participating).

I hope you all stay amazing and I'll try to do another update in less than 7 years.

Yup, that's about it. I'm definitely more active on twitter at www.twitter.com/deertai but otherwise I visit here maybe once a week or twice a month, depending if I remember FA still exists or not...

For what it's worth, here's pretty much an update on life:

Life is a series of highs and lows. Still trying to recover from the low of losing my main source of employment in late 2013, I'm starting to but it's still going to take a while. Someone suggested I start drawing again to pick up the skill from when I was high school, which is decades ago at this point. My skills are horrible but perhaps I should, hobbies are a great thing and when you've lost your income, hobbies also get dumped.

Also, even after all these years, I still live in the same city and even the same place that I moved to in August 2010, it's a bit of a wonder.

7 Months since my last journal, it appears. Well I guess I should give you guys an update on what is going on in my life, if you are interested.

So two years ago, almost to the day, I got my last paycheque from a company called Zucora. They administer Service Plans that are sold at some furniture and mattress retailers throughout North America. I have been applying for IT jobs and pretty much getting no interviews for the last two years, though for the last year I have also been assisting someone I know create and get off the ground a new product (and company) for the furniture industry. Well technically, many products but the one we launched on November 1st (2015) looks like the final winner.

So it looks like in January, I will start part-time hours with that company and hopefully get back on track, take care of some of the outstanding bills I've had over the last two or more years and eventually get back to some semblance of financial freedom.

Also for the last two years I haven't really been active here and I do not think that'll change in the future, I spend most of my time on twitter, either at cola_katz or deertai (Mostly the second account right now). So if you don't follow me on twitter and you have twitter, you are more than welcome to and say "Hi" too :D.

Now, some positive things have happened, I took steps last year to change how I view the world from a pessimistic point of view to something more positive and I've started taking local classes to just do something other than looking for jobs or helping someone get a company off the ground. And more recently I've started to game on Thursday nights with friends on Team Punchtown (http://twitch.tv/teampunchtown). All of this is fun and besides improving myself improves my life and that definitely is important!

I still need to work on my physical appearance (aka lose weight) but part of where I am stuck should be helped once I have more financial freedom (I'm limited in grocery shopping). The other part is that I separated my AC shoulder joint in one of the courses I've taken (Aikidio), so I have needed to be careful with that as well.

I'm positive that 2016 will be a great year though and I want to get back to some furry stuff and get to cons, which I miss going to, including MWFF (which I had hopes of getting to this year but couldn't figure out the money).

So... *waves at you all* Thanks for stopping by and hopefully we'll talk!

I'm going.

There's been some challenges in regards to getting there. Some of them have produced a level of anxiety that I haven't felt since I started hating going to work a couple of years ago, just before my jerk boss at that place decided to lay me off... In truth, I had almost broken down at one point because of things.

The only unfortunate thing is that I don't really have any money to spend at the con, so it might be somewhat booze free for me (only somewhat because I did get a sponsorship and hopefully there's good beer).

The last Condition is almost upon us. The staff is getting geared up to go and I have three different beers coming into the sponsors' lounge with some really great food created by Cajunfox.

It's been a marathon getting prepared for this one but it's going to be our best and it'll be great to end on such a high note.

I'm looking forward to seeing all the awesome people one last time

You guys have fun there!

Hopefuilly next year I can make it because man, that Hotel bar was awesome, well the wait staff at least was.

Almost five years ago, Fanboy Confessional did a bunch of recording for a Furry episode that included a few furs from the Southwestern Ontario region. It then aired sometime just before Condition: Red. We even had a screening of it at Condition: Red.

I wonder after all this time and with the whole Dr. Phil thing today, what people thought/think of that show.

if you haven't seen it, it is available (at least in Canada) at http://www.space.ca/fanboyconfessio.....oPackage=84749 There is no english version available on youtube...

Yup, tomorrow. To help with the coverage on Friday, I'll be heading down and setting up the Condition table that day. I'm more than likely going to stay the entire weekend but we'll see.

I won't be there.

However, if you are, take a look at the Condition: Furry table and make sure you visit my favorite dealers (of books) at Bookshelf Bear

I haven't be active on here for a long time, there was a reason for that. Those that are twitter and follow me already know...

My job. It was stressful and busy and made me not want to do anything. I ended up making a decision in September to not staff at MWFF this year, it is work and I wanted to relax from work and not even think about such a thing. As such, I quit and went along my way, registered as a regular attendee and continued on with my job.

That was, until September 30th, when I was pulling into a 9am meeting, given a letter that said "Thank-you but your position is now redundant". This was for a job that was six years of my life. They didn't fire me, they permanently laid me off, with six weeks notice (as required by law). Because of the sensitivity of my position, I was told to not come in for those six weeks. That six week period ends today (friday) and one week from today, I receive the last pay cheque from that place, a severance and a small bonus.

So what have I been doing? Job searching as finding an IT Systems Administrator in a "smaller" community like the one I live in is extremely difficult. I've had some success with interviews but no offers as of yet. I spend anywhere from 20 minutes to 4 hours looking for a job per day, depending on how many I can find.

Doing job searching has made it so that I rarely think of anything else, but December is a hard time to look for a job, the market is already slowing down, so I think I will spend more time on something furry related or related to something as least...

But this isn't a sob story, I will get through this and be back on my feet in no time because I can do other things than just take another job and I probably have a few months of employment insurance I can use, if other things don't work out. I'm hopeful and optimistic for the future and have really started to put my head back together after what I've come to realise was a soul crushing job, where I barely ever smiled anymore.


So that's what brings me to this point.


Now, I have the money for MWFF, I'm going down on the Wednesday with  Spazzfox and plan to spending as much time partying as possible. If you see me, please say hello though, I'm never busy and actually have a hard time trying to find things to do.

So... What's going on with you? :D

For the last month or several I've been a bit busy, though I've been active on Twitter. There has been a lot to do and so I just haven't updated anything on FA in a while.

Nothing was a particular reason for not being around more, I've just been doing stuff, including some furry stuff.

As you might know, I work at Condition and that was at the beginning of August, with work already going on for next year's Condition vs. Monsters theme. We have some awesome guests of honor lined up and when we have the new website ready, I hope you all check it out.

I've also been looking for roommates for MWFF on twitter, I have two double beds in my room and I have someone staying on Thursday and someone else staying Friday/saturday but in reality I have two more bed spaces open for the entire weekend. I hope I find peoples to fill those spots up but I know I also snore a bit, so I've warned people about that.

At work my role seems to have migrated to a server support and report generation role. I don't mind it as it has kept me extremely busy but it can be boring because a big part of my day right now is verifying data, to make sure our new systems exceed or meet the cleanliness of our old systems.

This stuff has kept me all busy, including getting a gym membership, starting at the latest on October 1st (via work), wanting to write out some thoughts on FCN's closure (understandable) and deciding what to do about FE this upcoming year.

However, I will probably be more active around here, from now on...

Let's clear that old journal off...

So today I got a commission of my alt fursona, Tai from Vallhound. He's been around for a while but I haven't done a heck of a lot with him. Truth be told, I've liked him more and more over the last little while and I want a fursuit of him but I had a condition for that and it hasn't been met yet. I plan on working on that a lot this upcoming year but I think I'll also start getting more commissions of him

What do you think? Do you want to see more pictures of Tai, though probably no more mature than this: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10605779/

Other people are doing it, might as well and get the other journal off my front page

Don't curse me if you learn something you didn't want to know...

1. Had sex? Yes
2. Bought Condoms? Yes
3. Gotten somebody Pregnant? No
4. Failed A Class? Yes
5. Kissed A Boy? Yes
6. Kissed A Girl? Yes
7. Used A Little Paper Bag for Lunch? Yes
8. Had A Job? Yes.
9. Slipped On Ice? Yes
10. Missed The School Bus? Yes
11. Fucked a girl? No
12. Bullied Someone On The Internet? No
13. Sexted? Yes
14. Sex In Public? No
15. Played On A Sports Team? No
16. Smoked Weed? Yes
17. Smoked Cigarettes? No
18. Smoked A Cigar? No
19. Drank Alcohol? Yes.
20. Watched porn? Yes
21. Skipped class? Yes
22. Gotten Arrested? No
23. Done meth? No
24. Been To A Wedding? Yes
25. Fell in love with a best friend? No
26. Been On The Computer For 5 Hours Straight? Yes
27. Watched TV For 5 Hours Straight? Yes
28. Been Late For Work? Yes
29. Been Late For School? Yes
30. Kissed In The Rain? No
31. Showered With Someone Else? Yes
32. Failed My Drivers Test? No
33. Cheated on a ex? No
34. Been Outside My Home Country? Yes, happens when you live in a border town ;)
35. Been On A Road Trip Longer Than 5 Hours? Yes, yearly actually (MWFF)
36. Had Lice? No
37. Gotten My Heart Broken? Yes
38. Had A Credit Card? Yes
39. Been To A Professional Sports Game? Yes (First one was a Blue Jays game @ 10yrs old)
40. Broken A Bone? Do teeth count? If yes, 1 times, remember don't throw a snowball of Ice & Snow.
41. Am I BI/Gay/Lesbian? Bi
42. Won A Trophy? Yes
43. Cut Myself Unintentionally? Yes
44. Had An STD.? No
45. Got Engaged? Yes
46. Done ecstasy? No
47. Tried Out To Be On A TV Show? No
48. Rode In A Taxi? No
49. Been To Prom? No
50. Played A Drinking Game? Yes
51. Stayed Up For 24 Hours Or More? Yes
52. Been To A Concert? Yes
53. Had A Three-Some? No
54. Had A Crush On Someone Of The Same Sex? Yes
55. Been In A Car Accident? Yes
56. Had Braces? No
57. Learned Another Language? Yes
58. Killed An Animal? No
59. Been At A Yard Sale? Yes
60. Been To A Japanese Steakhouse? Maybe? I'm not sure
61. Wore Make Up? No
62. Talked To Someone Via Webcam? Yes
63. Lost My Virginity Before I Was 16? No
64. Had My Wisdom Teeth Taken Out? Yes
65. Kissed Someone A Different Race Than Myself? No (Human is a race, right? I kid, I know humans are a species)
66. Snuck Out Of The House? No
67. Bought Porn? Yes
68. Had A Virus On My Computer? Yes
69. Had Oral Sex? Yes
70. Dyed My Hair? No
71. Gone Skinny Dipping? No
72. Graduated From College? Yes
73. Wore Someone Else’s Clothes? No
74. Voted In A Presidential Election? What's a president, we have Prime Ministers!
75. Rode In An Ambulance? No
76. Rode In A Helicopter? Yes
77. Caught The Stove On Fire? Yes
78. Got In A Verbal Fight? Yes
79. Met Someone Famous? No
80. Been On Vacation? Yes
82. Been On A Boat? Yes
81. Been On An Airplane? Yes
83. Broken Something Expensive? Yes
84. Had Surgery? Yes
85. Beat A Video Game? Yes
86. Found Something Valuable On The Ground? Yes
87. Made A Survey? Yes
88. Stalked Someone On A Social Network? No
89. Prank Called Someone? No
90. Been To A Library Outside Of School? Yes
91. Spent Over $100 Shopping In One Day? Yes
92. Cut My Hair And Hated It? Yes
93. Peed Outside? Yes
94. Went Fishing? Yes
95. Helped With Charity? Yes
96. Taken A Pregnancy Test? No
97. Been Rejected By A Crush? Yes.
98. Been Suspended From School? No
99. Broken a mirror? No
100. Thrown up on someone? No.
101. Lied to your parents? Yesl

Went worst than I wanted it to go, no fault of the con. In fact what I could attend was awesome but I was pretty sick most of the weekend. In fact on Sunday, I didn't even get out of bed until 4pm.

Mostly I got a bit of drinking done on Friday, at least one meal a day at the Bar and really only made it to 3 events, Kage's Story Hour (by happenstance), Who's Lion is it Anyways? and a FCLR meet & greet.

So, next con? The one I help run in August. I'll feel a lot better by then. :)

Where are you staying?
Main Hotel

What day are you getting there?
Thursday afternoon (approximately 3 or 4-ish)

Who will you be rooming with?
 xthedogx

Who will you hang out with during the convention?
Whoever will hang . Even for being in the fandom for a while, I don't know a lot of people...

Will you be suiting?
Yes. Very much Yes.

Do you do free art?
Stick figures and "abstract" might be possible. *might*

What is your gender?
male

How tall are you?
6' aka 5' 12" :p

Are you taken? Are you looking for a 'mate'?
single. Yes but I wouldn't expect something long term from meeting someone at a con.

Can I talk to you?
Absolutely, please do!

Can I touch you?
If it's a good touch... Bad touches might be allowed... *might*

How can I find you?
Look around, I'll be wondering around but I'll also have data on my phone and thus be on twitter

Can I visit your room?
Only if you are invited.

Can I buy you drinks?
? What type of question is this?!?! Of course!

Can I hug or snuggle with you?
Sure. But snuggles will need a comfort level that just meeting a person wouldn't install (Get to know me for a couple of hours).

Are you nice?
Sometimes to a fault and too accommodating. However, I am easily distracted which comes off as being standoff-ish.

Do you have an artist table?
HAHAHAHAHA... Wait, you were serious? Um, no.

Will you be going to parties?
I want to .

Will you be performing?
What type of performing are we talking about here?

If I see you, how should I get your attention?
My name. Well really my fur name because only a couple of you out there probably know what my real one is...

What/where will you be eating?
Probably Con Suite and if invited, elsewhere. Maybe Koney Island for breakfast (mmm.... Breakfast Grease)

Can I come with you for food/fun/etc?
Since I'm usually the one coming along with other people, ask them. I rarely am the maker of plans...

Can I draw in your sketchbook?
YES, please!

Can I take your picture?
Absolutely

Where will you be most of the time?
In con space or in my room most likely.

Can I rub your belly?
?? I don't know how I feel about this, perhaps? If you do, you better know me well.

FE was a vacation for me, I spent some time helping out at the Condition table but not doing much else, except falling asleep early. Other than that, I did nothing and it was glorious, though I wished I had visited with a few people or found them to hang out with, get to know them a little better. As it was, it was great hanging out with everyone that I did.

And now, with things starting to take off once again for another year of Condition, things are going to be looking busy.

First, there's driving down to FCN in less than a month *eep*, then there's going to Thor's BBQ at the beginning of May down in the detroit area. Unfortunately that's also the first day of Sci-Fi 6 here in London, so might end up missing that completely. Then there's something after that, I think and then I'm moving to the north end of the city to a new apartment building (hopefully), then there is the final push to get ready for Condition.

I've also been debating MWFF this year as there's no big push for me to go there. If I don't go, I think my only international con will be FCN this year.

Next con is FCN. I'll be there sometime on Thursday, leaving on Monday.

I still have my room all to myself, if you know of anyone interested and can survive a medium snorer, kindly send them my way. I don't desperately need to fill my room, I'd just wouldn't mind some help with the cost :)

Well on Sunday I discussed with  frostscar about plans on getting to FE and we are leaving tomorrow night after I'm done work.

Still a lot to get done before leaving, all housework and double checking my fursuit for any problems.

This con kinda came quicker that expected...

Don't know why but I'm actually doing one of these for once:
---

Where are you staying?
Sheraton Hotel

What day are you getting there?
Either Thursday or Friday, negotiations on that fact are ongoing...

Who will you be with?
 fireykitsune and  frostscar

Who will you hang out with during the convention?
Dunno

Are there any panels you might be attending?
Dunno

Are you attending any stage or public performances?
Possibly?

Will you be suiting?
The one of two cons when I have lots of time to do so, so... perhaps ;)

Which suit(s) will you be bringing?
Cola (v2)

How can I find you?
I'll be wondering around, probably sitting at the Condition table from time to time

Do you draw?
When I was 10, that was many years ago tho...

What are your limits to drawing?
Are there limits? I guess I'd have to draw to find out...

How old are you?
35

How tall are you?
6"

Are you taken? Are you looking for a mate?
No and I am but I wouldn't expect to find one, ever.

Can I talk to you?
Perhaps, but I reserve the right not to talk back to you.

Can I touch you?
In suit, good touches only. Out of suit, I'd prefer a conversation, except in some limited cases.

Can I visit your room?
Perhaps.

Can I buy you drinks?
Yes, from the bar (there is a bar at this place, right?) or that are unopened!

Can I give you stuff?
What type of stuff?

Can I hug or snuggle with you?
In suit, yes. Out of suit, I'd better know you or at least know you for more than 5 seconds

Are you nice?
To a fault to my friends/people I care about

How long are you going?
Thursday or Friday to Sunday

If I see you, how should I get your attention?
Use your words and start a conversation, even if it is just to introduce yourself and say Hi =^.^=

Where will you be most of the time during the days?
Dunno

What/where will you be eating?
Dunno, might not be eating much.

Can I come with you for food/fun etc?
Perhaps, if you're cool or fun.

Can I look in your sketchbook?
Right... I have one of those... So... Maybe...

Can I draw in your sketchbook?
Ask, I'll probably say that it's gotta be clean but I like free artz.

Can I take your picture?
If I am in suit, I love pictures :)

What’s your goal for the con this year?
Dunno

Well I'll be at FCN (and FE before that). Anyways, I have a room for FCN but have been really lazy and haven't gotten any roommates.

I have the standard room with double beds. So if anyone is interested, give me a note or something...

Time to get that other journal off my front page, also I want to thank the people that favorited by recent submissions or wrote comments, sorry I didn't write back to you directly but I only really got back onto FA today.

Anyways, been thinking of doing more photos, changing my avatar here, on twitter and on IM. Don't know what I'll do but it'll be something that isn't quite epic

Hope you're all having fun out there!

So I drive to MFF with  spazzfox and  tigersammy, we had a fun time driving there but I was in the mindset of just getting to the hotel and damn anything else. We did it in about 8 hours including an hour of braving the traffic on the I-94 during rush hour through the downtown Chicago.

I was wiped but still went over to get my staff stuff and got my radio as I was on security. Thursday night, there was very few security staff around and for the craziness that happened, it was frustrating for all of us as we tried to police everyone but we had to do it, it's our job for the convention. That's how things pretty much ended up for me.

Then I started my morning shifts Friday, about four hours a day from 8am till 12pm. Typically the quietest time of the day, no one really is awake or they are all going out to get breakfast. Unfortunately there is always the odd person trying to sleep and the hotel _hates_ it, so on the behalf of the hotel we have to rouse these people and make sure they don't sleep. Personally, I'd just leave them alone and instead just make sure they aren't in distress.

Then on almost every single day I spent most of my time hanging around with people in Security. The reason why? Everytime I would try to talk with someone, they would talk and then the eyes would drift down to the staff badge, then the eyes would go farther down to the security tag and then an awkward silence would start.

And don't get me wrong, it was fun hanging around with these people, they are extremely nice and have great stories to tell but I wanted to make more friends in the fandom and because I'm introverted, I already have a hard enough time doing that.

Another memorable thing from the con includes meeting my ex and his boyfriend on Saturday. He said they where living together for about a year and it was just over a year previous that he broke up with me. So it made me question if he had cheated on me (even if it was long distance, that would still be cheating) and I felt awful so I locked myself away in my room. A good friend told me that I should just go and fursuit around the con, I didn't take his advice but I almost regret that now. Perhaps the strangest part is that even now I still care for him, even though I don't love him anymore.

I also had italian meat for the first time that I've been in chicago area, as well as Steak and Shake. Both were good but this time meals weren't such a big thing.

Overall, the con was kinda meh for me. Not because of the con itself but because of what seemed like a thankless job that when people knew you did it, avoided you like the plague and because my mind wove some traps for myself on Saturday night.

I will return to MFF next year but it's highly debatable that I'll be doing it as a staff member. It is becoming more obvious that I'm burned out in some way, I don't know what it is but it might be partially because of Condition and possibly partly because of the stress from my job.

Also remember, I never bite unless you ask me to :p

Guess I should write something...


Something!


J/K I just had lasik surgery yesterday morning, been following the whole routine and have just been loving the fact that I can see clearly. It wasn't cheap but it was well, well worth it. If anyone else thinks about getting it, make sure you follow all the rules, my eyes aren't healed yet but they are well on the way due to following the rules exactly.

As well, I will be at MFF, I'll be dragging  spazzfox and  tigersammy with me on the drive over. This year, I want to fursuit a lot, so anytime I'm not working or eating :)

I haven't been on FA too often since FCN, life has taken over my ability to just browse the site, answer shouts (sorry people) or do anything else.

So here are the main things going on:

- My job has been interesting and time consuming from early morning until later in the evening and not all while at my workplace.

- Condition has also been keeping me busy and stressed.

- I'm looking at my housing situation and seeing if I can buy a house, preferable now but I will have everything in place to do so within 5 years, if now isn't possible.

- October will mark one year since my first/last relationship ended and we hadn't seen each other for a year before that. I think I'm ready to start looking but I don't know what I want.

Summer is always a time of change for me and I hope over the upcoming year I get to meet more fuzzies, have some more fun and be able to do all the things.

Peace out!

Is less than a week away!

I'll be there at around 8-ish on Thursday night (depending on border and travel times). I would be there sooner that day but I have to work that day. I'll be bringing Madius, Dumpling and I think it's Gummy Sweet along with me.

If you want to say hi during the con, that'd be awesome as I don't know a lot of people and I don't have a thing planned the entire con.

I'll be accessible as well through twitter but nothing else as I'm only buying the $100 worth of rape.. err... data for my cell phone. Remember, I'm Canadian, using my cell phone in the US... well, yeah, it's horrible.


Hopefully I'll see at least some of you soon :)