So... July 25th, I quit my job three days early from my two-week notice. it was bad! I broke down crying four times that day and called my boss on the second breakdown to apologize that that day was going to be my last.

Second week of August I did a solo drive from my home to St. Louis MO and then Nashville TN. It was a nice mental break, and being able to just drive and let my ADHD do its thing was so nice! I didn't listen to music until I was returning back home and i was about two-hours and needed something to keep me awake. Driving 15 hours straight is rough!

Third Week of August, family member ends up in the hospital with major injuries and we are STILL dealing with that.

Fourth Week of August; stressed out and bought some more OCs from a friend and a few other adopts. I have some new reference sheets in progress for three of them, and the other ones I am waiting until a few other artists have more slots free to get details and such done.

Now? I have my physical driver's test on Thursday, I had to book this back in JUNE, and once I pass that test I will be job searching again!

Thanks to everyone who have liked, commented, and given me positive vibes! Things have just been rough, and I am hopefully starting to see some positivity in my life again.

I, um... I have been having mental breakdowns almost daily for the past few weeks and today was been the worse one.

Trying to get past it, trying to smile, trying to do what's right... and for nothing.

The common folk treat me like shit for having to enforce the rules; my company writes me up for enforcing their rules; the law makers scoff for me having to point out their written laws; the law enforcers won't help us when someone is breaking the rules; and so I ask why I should keep suffering for it?

Bad enough I can't get any sleep... Everyone needs to keep messaging me or waking me up for stupid shit even when I have my phone on silence...

The family dog won't take a nap anymore and keep waking me up every 30 minutes just to sit outside in the heat for 10 minutes...

I am trapped in a town where I can't be who I want to be

And I am just done.... I want my fucking freedom!

To hell with society, to hell with family, and to hell everything else that is just a burden!

One of my evening coworkers put in their two week notice, and my boss is giving me the chance to move from overnights to the evenings shifts. So instead of 10pm to 8am, I'll be working 3pm to 11pm and with that comes with a pay cut.

Since overnight shifters are harder to replace, and we are always at risk because of low police presence, overnight shifters are given an extra $3 an hour. So, I am willing taking an average of $400+ a month pay cut.

Been dealing with crazy-entitle-drug addicts for far too long, and I am getting to the point I may end up killing someone sooner rather than later.

So... yeah... don't be too shocked if I have to start putting artworks on a payment plan.

I am getting so annoyed with people getting freshly invited to new servers suddenly coming at me and blaming me for all their life's problems. I don't know you, you don't know me, and after I have apologized for any possible slight I could have made by mistake, because I couldn't have known it would trigger you, and you have the chutzpah to attack my character as a human being? PISS OFF!

I'm done playing nice, and people are just going to get blocked for being emotional and accusatory for things I have not done! If you aren't going to put in the effort and accept someone's apology for a mistake they could NOT HAVE KNOWN THEY MADE, you are a child! I don't deal with children! I'm in my mid-30s and I do NOT have time to deal with people who haven't emotionally matured past 10 years of age.

I am a Fool, I am a Tower, I am Wrath, and I am proud of who I am. I've done my part to get here. I've put in the fucking effort to be honest and true!

If you can't be asked to do the same, don't bother me, ever, again!

I write this out with a simple message: Do not be afraid of blocking, removing, or avoiding someone online. If there is ANYTHING that triggers that nagging thought of 'I don't know about this..." in the back of your mind, LISTEN to it! We live in an age of lies, deceit, and ignorance. The truth has never been harder to find, then it is now.

I made a choice earlier today that may hurt some friends on other social media apps and such, but I made it because that voice in the back of my mind told me not to trust a situation. That situation being the truth behind someone's identity and authenticity of their own personal claims made without a history to back up such claims.

I have a long history. I have been around for going on 14 years in the FurAffinity Community and been active in real amateur wrestling for a decade. I have a lot to lose. I have built up trust, respect, and help others feel confident to move forward with who they are and what they want to be. If someone approaches me because they are friend-of-a-friend-who-may-know them off another social app, I will be respectful until a line is cross; keep trying to befriend me when I set up boundaries is one number one.

History is important to me. Protecting my own is very important. Someone who I don't even know trying to demand I should be their friend because they may know someone else while having little-to-no history themselves is a major red flag.

Once my trust is broken, it never heals. Nobody online deserves a second chance. You get one! but if you waste it, don't cry to me or others about it.

Learn to grow so the mistake cannot be repeated.

https://poll-maker.com/poll5477588xFc17E5DC-163

we are still live to help name a new member of the U.N.D.E.R.!

There are ten names to choose from, and you can pick multiple names!

The last day is the 5th of May!

Please vote...
please!

my friend  MythiccDergen offered me one of his OCs that he had plans for but decided not to use, and I need your help in picking his ring name!

https://poll-maker.com/poll5477588xFc17E5DC-163

This is a legit a poll and I personally enjoy all of the names I've picked! There are ten options, so think carefully! You can vote for multiple names!

Thank you all for your time, and on the 5th of May, 2025 I will upload him with the winning name!

It does bring me joy to see so many accounts that had suddenly reach out to me, now currently pending for deletion within a few weeks!
It is very strange to have a profile that doesn't have any artwork or favorites that are similar to any of the content I partake in suddenly reaching out and asking to USE my characters. Do yourself a favor and say NO to these people as well. Some thieves take 'allowed to use character for background' as transferring ownership.

If anyone suddenly reaches out and it seems odd; decline and report!

Hashtag: Protect Your OCs!

Never buy from Etsy.com.
Sellers are allowed sell items, with fake reviews, and remove the item from the store page preventing you from getting a refund. I spent $130 on mugs you can't even drink from. Did not say in the title of the product that is was a display model; they hide it deep into the bottom of the description (and this was another store's not directly the one I bought from).
Unable to get a refund because since the shop REMOVED the item from their list, it isn't in my purchase history with Etsy. DO NOT BUY FROM THESE PEOPLE!!

I have cover artwork for my latest artwork and for some reason FA isn't uploaded the piece with it.
any suggestions? I opened a ticket...

The artwork for the final match of the Eight-Man-Elimination Tournament! is done! I just need to do a small edit to get all the pieces of artwork onto two pages instead of Eight! I know how people are... two clicks they will put up with but not eight!

Thank you all for waiting and HUGE, HUGE, HUGE thank you to  Pawmageddon for all his hard work in creating all eight panels and the cover art! Give him some love!!

So STM5 for the Switch is getting a sequel!! So, it'll be out in June and is out for most platforms!
Also includes the base game and the new Vengeance storyline you can pick at the start of the game! For those curios, and with English subtitles after the trailer part, this link has a lot of new info: https://youtu.be/HYL49TH0i7I?feature=shared
or try youtubing Shin Megami Tensei 5 Vengeance ALL new information.

I am so excited!! Just wanted to share the news!

Going to be gone for a bit! I gotta get my wrestling fix! Heading to NYC between the 18th and 22nd if Feb! Had over 30 guys lined up to rumble with, and now down to a dozen... Hopefully I can still get some good video and action shots to use for future commissions!
Wish me luck!
Teal the Heel!

I have an official U.N.D.E.R. server.
It is barebones and at the moment it will be to replace the previous server I had with many friends!
If you have had artwork done with me, I have commission artwork from you, or we have talked about getting work done together; send me a note and I will invite you!

I WILL INVITE YOU!

If you are invited by another party without my permission; both members will be kicked and never reinvited.

So I have half of the artwork already done and have been trying to create a cover page so people had to click on to see the results...
and my patience and failure to get any of the simple programs friends have suggested to work xD
I am half tempted to just download photoshop, but don't want to risk having them claim that i didn't cancel in time
So i will be posting them soon!
Currently the first Bracket was all drawn by  Pawmageddon

We have
Rufus vs Hank Hill
Luke Owen vs Geoff
Cid vs Arthorius
Bunker Hill vs Apollo


I do have some plans to write out how the match starts, holds exchanges, and finishes with the drawn image! Unless my ADHD kicks in and I can't be asked xD
Thank you for your support!

And I work overnights! Meaning I get to work an extra hour!
...
FUCK!
2am your local time goes back to 1am.
No, I will not allow you to buy more alcohol!

i do have very kind friend. I am at thisisteal42 on bluesky!
I stilll don't understand it, but if i can safely post and share any work I have been apart of / commissioned i'll be happy!
Feel free to link or drop your @s for BlueSky! I can't recall anyone elses atm >.<

The votes are in the and by two votes, Glänzen will not be partaking in the tournament! He will be joining Teal the Heel as commentators on the matches!

The Tournament may take a while to get drawn up. It is at least 7 pieces and simple covers on each piece when I post them here to FurAffinity. So, you will have to click on the piece if you want to see the results of that match!

First Bracket will be:
Cid vs Arthorius
Bunker Hill vs Apollo

Hank Will vs Rufus
Luke Owen vs Geoff

I may not start this until 2024 as this will be a pricy project! Please look forward to it and leave guesses as to who will be the winner!

Announcing that I will plan on making an 8-Man-Elimination Tournament!
We are going to have Cid, Glänzen, Apollo, Bunker Hill, Arthorius, Geoff, Luke Owens, Hank Will, and Rufus!!
Oh! wait that's nine...
Yes! I need your help decided who gets to stay in! You are allowed to vote for multiple people too!
Loser will be side commentating on the matches in the descriptions!
The Poll is going to be up for a few weeks and once I feel enough people have voted, I will close and announce who is staying and who is going! https://take.supersurvey.com/poll49.....3x2C944f08-152

If you are wondering why just these nine; it is because I felt it was unfair to have the over 300lbs boys and the under 200lbs boys wrestling against each other; Not always weight/height equals victory in wrestling, but it sure helps! I want it to feel as even and intense as possible! Even I won't know who the winners are!

Closing Poll date will be the 26th of September 2023!

I hate cell phone providers. Switch to a cheaper provider, put in their SimCard and locked my network... NOWHERE on these fuckers website's do they say 'make sure to get a SIM Network pin prior to switching!'
I'm so fucking pissed right now >.<
and it is currently a holiday in the US, so none of the retail stores are open for me to visit and have them get the information for me.
I am filled with rage and hate!!! GAAAH!!!
I hate phones...

Level 5 Mew with Random Tera-type!
Union Circle ~> Myster Gift ~> Password ~> GETY0URMEW
Was just talked about on the Pokémon Direct today!

Bro.. fuck this game!
Its a bloody nightmare! Weapons broke easily; you don't have bombs; and early on is just endless death screen after death screen with many shines either being a royal pain to get to or aren't fun to 'figure out' without just googling a guide.
If you had any issues playing through Breath of the Wild; Tears of the Kingdom DOUBLE DOWN on the bad design choices.

This is the perfect "Download 100% file from a friend" kind of game. I'm sure with max HP and Stam with decent weapons it is very enjoyable; but the game just keeps fighting with you on wanting to play it! I'm not a fan of going up to a Sky Tower to unlock a map, just to have a random NPC tell me they can't open the door and refuse to tell me what they want so they CAN open the door.

I've been screaming for the past 10 hours "I AM NOT HAVING FUN!" and I greatly regrate ever buying this game.

I wish I could enjoy this, but I refuse to put in the 50 hours into a game before it starts becoming fun.
If you can only buy 1 game this year to play; it has more then enough content to last!
My recommendation is just watch all the story progression on YouTube and save yourself the cash.

Hey yall! Guess what! Someone was using my images without permission on another website and not siting them! So they have had their account filed for copyright infringement! Yes I am that petty! When you use my PERSONAL persona, I will take great offense! Let this be CLEAR; you will be found and I will report it. Now if you are someone who shares an art piece with myself, then you are totally allowed to post, credit, and use it to show off your character on Role-Playing Sites; WHEN YOU TAKE MYSELF AND CLAIM IT AS YOUR OWN, it becomes personal. Just don't.
I have created myself in FireProWrestling World through SteamWorkshop if you want to wrestle with me in that game, and I can find create/commission someone to make a Sims4 model I am happy with.
DO NOT take Myself and think you will be let off easy.

Have a new hunk's reference sheet being worked on, and more importantly I pulled a Tom Fawkes!

What I mean is: a friend was doing online races, I popped into their game, got first place in a race and then left right after! Lol!

Tom Fawkes is a cool guy on YouTube. Sweet lad, very good at Mario Kart and he made a twitter post that said if anyone on his Nintendo Switch Friend's list playing in an online lobby, he would pop in and get first place! Oh what a fun rush it was to do that!

First play through to get all 18 badges, become champion, finish school, and complete Area Zero was 26 hours and 34 minutes. Safe to say I liked it! Tell a bir about how my journey went and give feedback during those phases.

-Starter: Quaxly the Water Duck. Kept until he was about 46 and then put him away. The interesting part about the early area is there are a lot of Pokemon to choose from! Is astonishing how many Waters, grass and smaller amount of fire types you can pick before you even go to the academy. So in a way that leads me hard to recommend Quaxly as your first Pokemon because they're arguably are just better water types available immediately.
-Start of the Treasure Hunt! Initially I wasn't 100% sure what to do so I went ahead and took on the bug type gym leader first who is as you go west out of the major town with the academy. I didn't have any issues thanks to the Nacl Rock Pokemon. Second went after the flying Titan, and that is when i learned defeating the Titans gives your Ride Pokemon more movement options.
-Second and Third Gym: so I had immediately assumed that all the gyms scaled with the player depending on what they have progressed with; this ended up being completely false! I attempted to go to the psychic gym leader after defeating the bug type gym leader because she seemed close. So after going through a path full of level 45 Pokemon, you would think I would have learned that this was a bad idea? I did not! So I went ahead and did her gym Challenge and got my early level 20 butt completely smashed by a level 43 psychic type! So I went north to the Water and Normal gyms that were in their late 20s to mid 30s. Something more managable! Also cleared out the Dark Type Team Star Base. The Water Gym Leaders incredible Tera-Pokemon SWAT me the first time and did cause me to have to go level up the rest of my team to around mid-thirties. The normal gym leader was also around the mid thirties range and thankfully with a few revive trickery I was able to defeat him on my first try!
-Fourth and Fifth Badges: happened to be the grass and electric type. For some weird reason I still kind of expected them to be scaled up to me, and that was not the case. It seems pretty clear to me that these two gyms are meant to be your first and second or at least second and third. I had zero trouble wiping the floor with both of them only having to use one Pokemon to sweep their entire teams. I also went ahead and knocked out the fire star base and rock type titan.
-Sixth, Seventh, Star! I was having issues controlling some of the Pokemon I had more recently caught. As gym badges don't really scale that well and even with having five badges under my belt I could only really catch and safely control level 40 or lower Pokemon. After knocking out the Poison Star Base it became obvious to me that I was going to need the six and seventh badge before I attempted the last two star bases. I went after the Ghost type gym leader next who specialized in a double battles, and I personally didn't have any dark type Pokemon so I had to rely on crunch from two different powerful physical Pokemon. Thankfully for me the ice type gym leader was very easy as my Metacham's High Jump Kick just obliterated the team! Feeling a little more confident I went ahead ahead and North to the ferry type gym leader star space. It was a very solid challenge to deal with as the Pokemon or a higher level than I expected being late 40s to early fifties. With my current badges I could only control Pokemon up to level 55! So after winning and defeating the fourth star base I knew what I had to do next!
-Titan, Gym, Titan, Star! After defeating the fairy type star leader I wanted to go try to take on the large Titan in the desert. Which in my version of violet happened to be the future Pokemon iron treads. Iron treads is a steel and ground type Pokemon and was a meaty foe! After defeating it and wrapping up the third cutscene, I notice a small Iron Treads outside the cave where the large one once rolled around. Took me a long time but i caught it and kept it! Next I went to the psychic gym leader and since I was no longer level 20 and I was more in the range of early fifties I was able to successfully battle and defeat her to collect all eight badges. With being able to use any level of Pokemon I either have or recently caught I went after the final Titan on my list; the false dragon! Luckily for me I managed to find a rare Terror type Azumaril with Fairy instead of water floating around the same lake! Defeating the false Dragon unlocked all of them Riders movement abilities so I could finally fly and climb! That's when I decided to go after the last star base run by the fighting type leader and continue to smash the poor girl's base to smithereens! With all 18 now collected it was time to do the last few things in each quest line!
3 Steps before Area Zero: I attempted to wrap up the Titan quest line first, which caused you to have to go back to the professor's lab and talk to his son. After being told by the professor that we need to head to area zero, you are challenged by his son to do a Pokemon battle to test to see if both parties are ready to enter Area Zero. I was only in my mid fifties and his Pokemon were in their early to mid 60s. So he kicked my ass! I went after the other two quests before challenging him again!
-Operation Starfall's finale is pretty fun with having to return to the school at night and having to face your director of the school, who claimed it was his idea initially to do operation Starfall, however after defeating him you obviously learn the true identity of the Mastermind behind operation Starfall! Not really a revealing my opinion because it seemed pretty obvious from the start but hey that's just me. Though it was fun to fight a full Eeveelution team!
-Champion Test! There's actually a really interesting interview process when you enter the Pokemon League to start your Champion test! It actually asked you to keep track of your previous answers and as well as who certain gym leaders were. And then you moved on to the battle phase! You can kind of assume everyone's Pokemon type if you remember the four Titan Pokemon you had to defeat. Ground, Steel, flying, dragon. After defeating them you take on the chairman of the league, and after defeating her you then had to take on your arrival who is the other Champion ranked student. Honestly I didn't find her hard but I will say if you don't kill the fire croc quick, it can sweep! After defeating her I went ahead and went back to the professor's son and wiped the floor with him!
-To Area Zero!! Area Zero thankfully wasn't as scary as I had initially thought it would be! What's neat is as you descend further down you can run into a few of the other Paradox Pokemon! My personal favorite ended up being Iron Bundle who is the futurw Delibird! This thing rules! Crazy Special Attack, Crazy Speed and has Freeze-Dry which does super effective damage to water types! As a Water/Ice, it replace my Froslass and I dont regret it! After unlocking all four doors to get into the professor's lab, you are attacked by more Paradox Pokemon! After defeating the Paradox Pokemon you will be introduced to Professor Turo... Who is a robot. He reveals that the original Professor died 4 years ago protecting the box art legendary from an explosion. He then goes on to ask you to destroy the time machine that is sending the Paradox Pokemon to the past! A chain of wonderfully fun battles ensue! One key thing I would give advice on is when the opposing parks are legendary does the move charge, have yours do endure to survive the attack! After defeating the final boss of area zero the game credits roll!
-Overall Thoughts:
I honestly wish I wasn't so quick to finish this game. There's just so many good Pokemon to choose from, so many Tera-Tyoes to strategize with, and so many Pokemon I missed out on because I was just trying to complete the game as quickly as possible so I can start breeding and training for a series of Pokemon battles I'm going to do with a few of my friends real soon. I am really curious to see how it differs from scarlet and I am really looking forward to my playthrough of Scarlett right now.
- performance issues? Yeah this game has quite a lot of performance issues! When there are huge groups of Pokemon in the background and you're trying to battle one in particular it can really lag out the game! Another issue with Tera raid battles, is that because there is so much animation going on it often lags and what looks like should have been a killing blow ends up not even counting for 10% total damage. Personally at this point in time I have yet to even come close to defeating a five-star Terror rate Den because of just how laggy and borderline impossible the Pokemon you are up against are! Even with a crazy high level team hitting for super effective normal and Terror type I'm just not able to get a five-star below 3/4 HP within the time limit or Worse I'll suddenly be chain-killed and instantly lose! So my advice is avoid the five stars until you have level 100 Pokemon that are pretty damn solid.
-Honest Final Thoughts: I believe Pokemon Skyland Violet have the most replayability of some of the previous generations! I kept going through the game wanting to keep adding more and more Pokemon to my team but I only had six slots available. There's a lot of interesting Pokemon with unique ways to evolve and I personally can't wait to try each one through a pokemon Journey!
If you're on the fence about buying it, you are right to be! However if your curiosity is peaked it is worth getting!