...watch where you point that thing.


It's one matter if a question is intentionally loaded. It's another entirely when you aren't aware.

And it's yet a third when the party on the other end can see there's a round in the chamber when the one holding it believes it's empty.



So you're stuck, trying not to make any sudden inquiries that could be misconstrued and lead to that loaded question going off in your face.

They're not even thinking about using it, but as soon as you flinch...


Chekov's was a literary device. Did he ever consider it as a social factor?



Almost poetic, the fact that the only way it can be disarmed is by setting it off. It's got to happen eventually.
But who knows? If there's already one in the chamber, how many more are there? I suppose at that point it doesn't really matter.


--I said watch where you point that thing!

...so why are random pages still watching me?

I left a shout to ask one how they came across my page. I guess through commissions I got from various artists who tagged me in their posts.

I still don't understand why anyone other than a bot would watch an all-but-inactive (I do still lurk) page.


Fuck off, weirdos.

Hit a deer, car's screwed. Stuck at home, seasonal depression like a steamroller. Life goes on.

I've been home alone for most of this week. I've been...hearing things, and it's made me uneasy.

This isn't the first time I've heard phantom sounds so I tried to ignore it. I even googled it and found out about "Music Ear Syndrome" and Audio Paredolia. This put me at ease for a night or two.


Then I started feeling it.


One thing I don't think they account for is vibrations. When I'm in my computer room upstairs and have my feet on the floor under my desk I can usually "hear" some things despite having headphones on. This usually means knowing when someone is coming up the stairs to knock on my door.
I'm now a bit uneasy as I've had a few instances where I can "hear" what sounds like unclear talking in the next room and felt corresponding vibrations.

New hardware, replaced cables, everything.

Modem logs often show several T3 timeouts, sometimes even a T4.

The only real solution to a recurring problem like this is to change ISP's.




It's tiring having your internet go out several times per day.

It seems every so often, every few months or so, I'll get a random watcher. I wouldn't be surprised if some were bots, but they all seem legit.

What I don't understand is WHY. I haven't posted much here in a long time.

Buncha creeps.

At this point, the perspective changes. You wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat. Outside, the wind howls about the corners of the lodge as the piling snow sinks it deeper into the chill darkness. You’re not certain why you’ve woke, only that your heart is pounding and your hands are shaking. You forget the badge on the nightstand as a faint sound draws your attention back to the lodge. You don’t bother to turn on the light as you grope your way down the hall. The faint glow from the fireplace throws six shadows about the walls as you peer down from the loft. Six friends sit quietly talking and laughing, catching up with each other. You recognize each of them. You’ve seen them before. A creeping wave of dread runs like ice up your spine. You begin to feel separated from your body. Your vision moves back, through the back of your head. You see yourself standing at the railing, hands now still at your sides. You can feel yourself losing control of your faculties. With a hollow whoosh and a sharp crack, the fire is quenched and the power goes out. No light remains. The only sounds are the deafening howl of the wind and the scream rising in your throat. But it’s not a scream, and it’s not yours.

I've had my Logitech G603 for quite some time now. I haven't had any issues with it.

Cut to around the start of August when it started having a strange issue. For seemingly no reason at all, it would stop responding. First happened when I was playing Psychonauts 2. Later found out if I was able to get out of the game, it would still happen when I tried to play youtube videos or other similar media.

Tried updating my geforce driver since it was available and the game had previously thrown error messages about it at me. (This was after a full restart to get control back, so) When I tried the game again I had no issues.

Fast-forward past it happening again, not too many times and usually solved by a full restart. General Windows updates happened, made some tweaks in the device manager, did a few other tiny things hoping one would prevent it from bothering me again. Went for a few weeks without any issue, thought something I did may have resolved it.

Next thing I know, I'm hours deep into Quake when it happens again. Thus I again run gamut of driver updates, checking device manager, googling for any other relevant info. Found something seemingly unrelated about running a scan/repair through command prompt. Ran the scan, it found something corrupt and fixed it. Yet my issue persisted, this time happening on a short video as I was browsing the internet. No games were involved, no long hours of taxing my system, this was about ten minutes after I'd started my computer.

TLDR;
What the fuck is wrong with my mouse? It stops for no reason at random times. If it's during a game, it still works on my desktop/web browser until I try to play a video. At that point, only a full restart will bring it back to normal. I've found that if I take the battery out when it happens I can temporarily regain control, but as soon as I try to start a video again it locks up again.

It's always this feeling that brings me back here to spin out a nonsense journal. That, and my bitter resentment of the persons or person I consider friends on little more than technicality.
My own loathing and stubbornness continues to saw incessantly at even that.

There are times like this where I have ideas that I want to share, want to workshop or just mess with. I think about bringing it to them before remembering the countless times I've done so before.

So I start googling all the same stuff yet again to become disgruntled when I don't find what I want. Rather than hold on to them and let them decay, I tend to just let them go. I don't know what to do with them.

It's gotten that way with my music now too. I'll be in a funk or a mood and dip into Bosca to see what I come up with. I'll get a few bars, maybe 30-some seconds of music, call it an idea, drop it in an ever-expanding folder and never touch it again.


Is it wise to put all your different friend groups in one server and expect them to mesh seamlessly? From what I've witnessed it's been toothpaste and orange juice, if anything. Most didn't talk much to begin with. Those who do have formed their own tiny niche all to themselves.

It's difficult to have any patience for someone who continually insists on playing the same game everyone hates. I can understand sticking with it for a single paid battlepass, but when it keeps happening like that it gets stale.

It's hard to care about streaming for friends when they don't even watch or engage with the game. They say they want to chat, then talk about nothing. I understand some are working through mental and emotional stuff. I know it's not fair for me to crab about their engagement or lack thereof, but that's how I feel.

So I don't do much of anything now. I've started to despise inspiration.

They made a separate group for the few of us to "talk about our problems with the server". My biggest problem is they seem to expect me to start things. I find it hard to want to start anything when I'm the only one who's participating. I compare it to DnD. It can be fun to be a Dungeon Master for a campaign, but even the DM wants to be a player sometimes. They wonder why I don't engage as much anymore. I can only wonder why they don't even try to message me directly. I'm not going to manually maintain my server status when people can ask me what I'm up to.


If you're reading this, fuck you.

The fish was an omen.

That night, I had a strange dream.
The voice, same as before. It asked me,
"Have you figured it out?"


I fear this mystery shall haunt me to my grave.

I feel old.

You find yourself on the seeping bank of the Asepho river, somewhere at the industrial outskirts of Shandotha. Ahead of you, leaning against the concrete dock, a beached tug bleeds a hissing yellow fuel into the ashen black sand. Up the way near the warehouses you can hear the dockworkers chanting as they haul several hundred tons of cargo to and from the greatships. The air here is stained with the chemical sins of the refineries deep in the heart of the city, a sizzling rot that burns your eyes. Looking to the gaseous yellow sky, you know if you do not find what you came for you will never be able to leave this place.

I have an old hat. It's my favorite hat. But it's been washed so many times the color is fading.

I'd buy a new one but this hat is long since removed from its place of origin. Googling for it in hopes of a resell yields irrelevant results.

I have an old, faded, irreplaceable hat. It's my favorite hat, but seeing how the color has faded saddens me.

I've combed through several sites and generators looking for inspiration. So why is it only now that I realize the sort of tools I'm looking for don't exactly exist?

I've been shaping a fan character in an existing fictional universe and feel like they need room to stretch their legs. Were this a universe of everyday life, I could draw on just about any writing exercise site I could find.

But this character comes from a world of guns and monsters and money. The answer to any challenge is "shoot it". There's no generator or quiz or test scenarios for anything like that, not the kind I'm looking for. ...Actually, I suppose there is, but that's calld DnD.




I read a book once based in the same universe. It was disappointing.

I did get one somewhat reasonable tidbit from my search:

It's noon.
There's been a heatwave for days.
You're in a village.
There's a gloomy feel to the place.




When all the outlaws have guns, nothing is outlawed.

Just finished watching a "horror" movie I'd describe as a long episode of Whose Line Is It Anyway. Funny, yes; entertaining, yes; but not what I had been looking for at the moment. One thing that stood out to me was the use of camera angles/background/etc to set the mood. And this got me thinking.

What if there was a horror movie where the main story happens in the foreground while something else is happening in the visual background? The payoff for this would likely be at the end in some big reveal or such. This movie used a lot of dark hallways and open rooms. I was waiting to see something move in the shadows (that wasn't explained by the characters or their actions).

There WAS ONE point where something like this happened, for all of five seconds. The characters involved don't know why and can't explain it but it's quickly dismissed and never returned to. Killed my buzz instantly.

Now I KNOW there's some movies that have subtle little details like "if there's [such and such] on screen with a character that means they're gonna die", but that doesn't quite do it for this itch. If there IS something out there like what I mentioned (background action whatnot) please tell me.

I have a 32-inch Vizio tv that's been my main PC monitor for 4-5 years now. As it's lasted this long, it's inevitable that it would take a dump in one way or another. It seems that way would be the backlight beginning to fail. The top of my screen is now a bit darker and can't be fixed without what I feel is too much effort. I can get by on it until a new one arrives, but I'm still bummed.

If anybody happens to know an "easy fix" which I don't imagine there is, I'm open to ideas. Otherwise I'm out like $250 to get a new one.

I remember seeing an old vid with a guy acting out various character types as if on a character select screen in a game. Tried to find it and all google and youtube want to give me are tiktoks.
-This was long before the age of tiktok
-it had tribal-ish background music
-the characters were all fighting/combat types

It'd be cool if somebody could find it.

If you've been following my work recently you'll know I've been dabbling in Bosca Ceoil. I've got a few decent songs posted as well as an uncomfortable backlog of unfinished ideas.

So I've been wondering in the way that I do about getting feedback on said ideas. Normally in this situation I'd just post something on my friend's discord group. Two problems arise here: 1) If I do post there I get little more actual feedback than "sounds cool", and 2) It's become a ghost town of people who lurk but never post and the founding member who's mental health has been shagged sideways by their work.

Following my standard pattern of thinking I've started to wonder about posting here. I'm quick to remember that most accounts watching me are likely empty husks long since vacated. Yet at the same time every so often I seem to gain another watcher. I'm not sure if these are "bots" or what their intentions are but I find it hard to believe they have any actual interest in my work as their watches don't coincide with any posts I've made.



If a tree falls in the forest, and no one bothers to move it, how quickly will it begin to decompose? What color fungi will form on its trunk? What bugs will burrow within it? Is there a salamander beneath, or just worms? I suppose it depends on the type of tree, depends on how large the forest, depends on the amount of rain. If a train leaves Chicago at 3:30pm headed west at a speed of 85 miles an hour, why do I give a crap?

I swear I remember a panel from The Far Side with a pair of cavemen and a wheel where one says something like "I've got an idea: Grab my legs and push" and the caption is something about "Invention of the game Wheelbarrow.

...yet I can't quite find it....

To start, this was all inspired by some character images. (may or may not be provided later, tbd) One is a human, one is what I believe to be some sort of demon. Suffice it to say the rights of these characters/their appearance/etc now belong to myself. I knew I wanted to write something involving them after I saw the demon. Over time I started coming up with a few little details as to who they were, their day-to-day life, etc. (If you're worrying this is some sort of nsfw thing it a'int.) I figured they'd be connected somehow but wasn't really sure, figured I'd just stew on it. Then I had a bit of a shower-thoughts-epiphany earlier and I've got a whole story.

SO. Toby [male, early 20's, human] and Julia [female, mid-20's, half-demon] are half-siblings. Same human father, two very different moms. At the start of the story they live together in a downtown apartment. It's quickly explained that Toby's mom died in childbirth and Julia's mom didn't stick around. They lived with their father until he was killed by a drunk driver. Toby sometimes struggles with the memory of his father's death and Julia does her best to take care of him.

I've thought of a handful of comedic early-arc filler content for their everyday life but most of the good stuff comes in after Toby gets some kind of tipoff that their father might not actually be dead. He does some digging and hides his research from Julia until he has near-concrete proof that their father is indeed alive. After a lot of convincing, Julia agrees to help track him down, if only to put Toby's mind at ease.

Their search leads them somewhere far northward to an old cabin. They discover it belonged to their father and was set up as a bugout base...but from what? Further searching leads to something between a cult and an evil scientific organization and their father's attempt to blow the lid off it. The trail leads to an old church...but due to her "allergy" to all things holy Julia is unable to enter without sustaining continual injury. Toby goes on ahead and finds more evidence of the cult/org in the lower levels, as well as several gun-toting members. The sound of gunfire motivates Julia to come to her brother's aid despite the searing pain and smoke.

It's at this point as she marches down the aisle she attempts to talk to God (or rather call him out for being a dick) and ask for a brief reprieve from the holy justice so as to rescue her brother. Rather than the hissing and smoking subsiding Julia finds she feels less pain from the "divine retribution". She finds Toby in the lower levels and helps him back to the sanctuary while dodging a hail of bullets...only to encounter one of the masterminds of the scientific side of the evil group.


Using some holy/unholy/mad science methods the villain is able to restrain the two as a fire set earlier by Toby in an attempt to "lessen the holy influence" to help Julia begins to consume the building (It's only now as I type this that there could be some imagery that would righteously piss off a more religious audience, i.e. Toby setting fire to holy stuff in the sanctuary to make it less holy/more anti-holy). Then, as doom seems nigh, their father bursts into the building and manages to fight off the villain (but not kill him, he gets away). They escape back to the cabin where their father explains that he had to fake his death if he wanted to get closer to the villain's group. Julia lays into him for abandoning both his children, explaining how Toby looked up to him only to have that taken away from him (she misses him too, of course, but her hate outweighs her other feelings at the time). She takes Toby and leaves their father at the cabin, returning to their apartment and their old life. For about a week Julia tries to cope with her reaction to finding their father as Toby notices her usual grit fading. He does his best to help her deal much as she had for him, asking if she has any idea what may have become of her mom.

Unable to sleep, Julia makes some minor preparations for Toby to spend a weekend on his own while she returns northward. Toby awakes to find a post-it note on the fridge with money for pizza and soda and some phrase like "Be good" or something. Meanwhile, Julia arrives at the old church, the flames of the previous ordeal snuffed by heavy snow. The holy influence still remains, and her skin still hisses and smokes as she enters. She briefly considers letting the influence reduce her to ashes for good before a hiccup from the front pew breaks her thought. Her father lies slumped over the bench with a half-empty bottle of whiskey and barely looks up as she approaches.

"I didn't come to forgive you, if that's what you're thinking." Her father slurrs something about her coming back to rub it in or how she hates him. "No, you don't need my help for that." She takes the bottle and indicates the blackened wooden cross behind the altar. Placing the bottle on her opposite side, she sits down next to him. "I think it's time we talked about mom."

Long story short, I had an assload of tabs open in chrome. Something got messed up and I had to kill the process via taskmanager. Figured I'd be able to restore my session, was given the option, but it restored to a single blank tab.

Needless to say, I'm panicking now.

I did some searching and found a solution involving renaming the "current session", "current tabs", "last session", and "last tabs" files. ...but I couldn't find those where it said they should be. So I ended up going for a long shot involving copying the entire User data folder, deleting it and replacing it to force a session restore. It restored...to the same blank tab.

I'm afraid that now that I restored to that tab I won't be able to restore my true previous session. The one thing that gives me a little glimmer of hope is my browsing history is still intact. I'm tempted to do something terrible and try to select and open all included items (Is there a way to mass-reopen instead of one by one?).

Otherwise I don't know how to get my session back...

Please. If you're reading this I need help ASAP! ANYTHING! I don't want to lose everything I had! Like the title says, I WILL PAY ANYONE WHO CAN ACTUALLY RESOLVE THIS ISSUE! THAT'S HOW DESPERATE I AM!

I played it ages ago, can't remember the name. I've tried googling based on what little I remember and haven't found anything.

It was a flash 2D platformer puzzler. Main puzzle mechanic was swapping between two instances of a character to use switches and such. The thing is, it was an old guy who would have a stroke or something when you swapped; the body could weigh down switches and such while the ghost had greater mobility and...

...yeah, weird, I know.

I remember it was actually pretty fun, good puzzle design. Think I played it on addictinggames.


Doubt I'll find it again, figured I'd try to get it out of my head.

Watch the video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AcChneBnbUo



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