I feel all doodely~!
I'm attempting a Speed-Paint now for the first time ever, or I have anyways. I'm waiting on the video to compress and load and I have no idea what to do with it after that. :P

Aaaanyways. I've been doodling, mostly on paper, so no one will ever see them hahahahahhahahaha.....

I've been on a Herald kick lately, might draw some horses.
Okay, a lot of horses.

-more like ragequit because thinking about work both pisses me off and makes me happy at the same time-
The only problem I have with work is the fact that it's only PART TIME.
Everything else about it is peachy. I'd stay there all day working if I could. All damn day. I already keep weird hours there. I love my job.
But I can't live off these hours.
But I don't want to quit because I love my job....
I guess I'm stuck living on people couches my whole life just so I can work the job of my dreams?

I feel like I've been screwed over somehow.
The end of this month will make it my second year here...
-facedesks-

Great Job
Great Office
Great Pay
Great Co-workers
Great Patrons
Great Environment
Great Title
Great Experiences
Great Community
Great Responsibility
Great Fun
SHIT HOURS.

NOPE
Learned my lesson. Wow.

Need more furs to draw....
I need Furry Friends dammit.
The struggles of a person with too many characters is real.

Decided to get rid of the Raunchier art on my page. I may in the future start a NSFW art page... but for now I'm going to keep it mostly clean.

I'm in a weird mood because a friend of mine is going through a rough time, but they didn't speak much to me yesterday... so I went to sleep. When I woke up this morning I had a spam of messages starting at three in the morning. They continued, getting cryptic and they had gotten huffy and blocked me for not replying. Saying they noticed I was no longer replying to them and that I had better things to do.

Like fuck.... I was asleep you numbskull. Literally, I was away from the phone for four hours, after they hadn't spoken for pretty much the entire day.... Suddenly, at three in the fucking morning, you want to explode into chatter and then get pissed that I'm not there? I had work this morning. They know I work mornings on Saturdays. I'm in bed by 1:30 at the latest. I don't know what crawled up his ass, but if he wants to shit on his therapist fine. I spent this morning freaking out, thinking they had deleted their account and committed suicide. He's high risk. It wasn't until after lunch I asked around and found out they hadn't deleted their account, but simply blocked me from them entirely.

Three weeks of holding their paw and being there for them. Listening to everything they had to say without judging... chatting and keeping their mind off the not so nice things of life. Aaaaaand they block me because I was unable to reply right away for once.

Maybe I spoiled him with the attention? He's four years older then me for furs-sake, why was I babying him in the first place. I understand depression and anxiety, but I've known him for years. He was always cynical and this combined with his last girlfriend dropping him like a sack of potatoes.... I hoped with support he would be able to pull himself out of it, but the more I lent my ear the more needy he became. I refused to be his rebound right from the start because that was the first thing he wanted. Right before he blocked me his last message was the following.

"I don't know why I'm continuing to talk. It's clear that you've chosen not to feel any obligation to deal with me and my pessimism. And that's fine, I understand. Thank you for being what you were, before you figured it out."
I'm still confused.
I'm irritated.
I'm sad.
I'm Angry.

In my life, I have had many opinions and I've always stood for what I believed in firmly. However I have always done this in a way that I have made very few enemies. Some old lady in a state up north hates my guts for a complete misunderstanding, and I think I offended a Latino-american by singing a Christmas song in terrible Spanish outside their house. That's about it.
It disturbs me that someone has blocked me for something like this.

My anxiety is spiking and I've been jerky. I can't draw right now, my hands have been shaking since I checked my phone upon waking up. Shaking so much I burned myself twice at work and then ended up with a papercut from a manila folder of all things.
It's mostly spiking because this morning I thought he was dead. He wouldn't be the first I've lost. The third of this month was the one year anniversary of one of my closest friends deaths. Piper.

On a side note, another friend said I needed to get away from the computer a bit. He's kidnapping me and we're going to the city for the day tomorrow. He came in today to check on some books and noticed I was off kilter. He was the one who checked up and found out that my other friend was still alive and posting things. ( I can only do so much on my phone, it's not exactly exciting. ) He constantly has to remind me that I'm only one person. I can't protect everyone and I cannot help everyone. However much I'd like to, some people just cannot be reached. I've a history of adopting friends and doing my best to help them remember how freaking awesome they are. I have a really weird, but extremely epic circle of friends. My three closest girlfriends have come so far from their troubled beginnings, I'm just so freaking proud of them they don't even know.
My ramblings are weird at this point, I think the cold medication has kicked in or my hormones have taken flight or something.
I will probably delete this journal later out of regret for having even written it.

I need more furs to doodle. I could create a ton, but I'd like to interact with other furries. Someone suggested I try commissions but I'm not that comfortable or set in a particular style yet. I don't want to open up for commissions and someone end up with less than perfect art. The art I just finished was sketchy when I started and ended up taking a little more than two hours to complete. Snowy Visit was more of a.... I dunno. Random encounter art.
So instead.... I'll be stalking and asking people.
Unless I just open up at Low prices.
I dunno. I'm feeling all whimsical right now.
My pawprint here is tiny and I am just learning.

Heeeeeeeeey, I started a twitter account, though I have no idea why.
You can follow my tail (at)gunnifur if you wish.

Beats in my brain are causing me pain....
I'd write a mini poem about this but instead......

"ALL ABOUT THAT BASE, 'BOUT THAT BASE~"

As for real matters at hand.... My adopted sister is about to pop out a baby, so I'm going to be on baby watch. Q__Q
It's raining babies, I sprayed with Lysol, but it's still raining babies. Co-workers, school friends, adopted siblings. Did everyone just get horny at the same time?
Maybe I should draw pups now.

But... I'd rather draw more quadrupedal stuff. I want to do another short gif again.

Then again I want to draw dancy-dancy time.

Or maybe more adult stuff.

I'll fry my brain before the end of this evening.


My boss made me angry at work today. So I practically bolted to my den and hugged my tablet.... but now I don't know what to draw. Plus, I'm tired, so I'm in novel mode. I'll talk your ear off
But seriously.... if they want me to do the work of three people.... They should at least hire me full time. :/ Literally, if the neighboring county offers again, I'm likely to take their offer... QAQ I was stupid to turn them down the first time, now I'm attached to my little ducklings at work. I can only put my life on hold for so long ya know.

Oh, and my other adopted sister just got engaged and named me as her maid-of-honor.

My house smells like pine and a shit-ton of those red candles that I can't stand the smell of. Peppermint, Cinnamon, Christmas Candy.... I just... I can't stand the smell.
I've been holed up in the Pantry all day. Not that anyone would know this, I live with my grandparents in order to help out around the house and make sure no one up and dies on me. My Nana has taken a sudden interest in burning candles. This week is the first time I've ever seen her light a candle bigger than a birthday candle. EVER. She was super incredibly sweet when she bought the candles. "Red is Hioni's favorite Color!" she said, plopping them about the house.
Red is my favorite color.
Red is definitely not my favorite smell.
I haven't the heart to hell her however... so I'm camping in the pantry.
There's a draft here.

On another note, Mother-night is just around the corner and the beginning of Yule! I've a mind to draw some related art, though I don't know if it will be furry or not. I'll have some spare time on my hands now that I'm done with my children's programs.
Now I just have to avoid going to the store in this county and I'll be kid free for a month! Yay!

All of this roughly translates out to: "I have more time to draw again. Yay!"

This wolf is a loner mostly, I have no idea what users use their Journals for on here, but we'll give this a shot.
It's 3:32 AM here and I just finished drawing reference art for my fursona. I've been a quiet stalker of the Fur-Fandom for far too long.
We're usually a quiet sort of person, unless something ruffles our fur the wrong way. Generally we are made of Derp. Derp. Derp. Derp.
NSFW images my be in store for the future, hopefully. For now I'll stick to practicing this new style of art.

Here's to nothing Furaffinity... here's to nothing.

-Hioni