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I am Alive
Posted 2 years ago//CW: Abuse/Mental Health//
Its been a year since I spoke last. And that was on patreon and so not that many people saw that. What I posted was about my short hiatus that i ant on as it was personal, but thought i should share in that years December. However I never followed up and I have been gone.
What happened last year? After i had to cut my stream short for an appointment that i forgot about. It was rushed and i still feel bad for cutting it short.
Within the week I received an email asking me to phone it came from my sister, Which when I moved out, I stopped communicating with my family as they were mentally abusive towards me, mostly from my mom. At the time they would say I ran away and constant call me out for abandoning them and such it got to a point where they would keep contacting me and try to find out where i was living and such. When they called the police and said that i was a danger to myself, thats when I moved forward with a restraining order. After that I think they got the message. I was confused and a little worried to be honest so I did phone her. Thats when I found out that our mom died from a heart attack.
//For context//
Growing up after my Dad died, was at first tough as he was the "Breadwinner" of the family He worked a lot and almost never home and so mom took care of me and my sister. I was around grade 6 when it happened. Our dad's grandparents which i love and miss to this very day, they helped out when mom had to find a job and cover the hole my dad left behind. However when i got old enough to work, my mom convinced me to get a job while i was in highschool. That wasn't a good idea, but i wanted to help. I got a job at a grocery store part time, but later in that year she lost her job and seemingly couldn't find a job after that. So i had to pick up more shifts, however i realized that my sister never got a job. Me and Mom and My Sister would fight a lot about this. However it alway ended with me apologizing and feeling terrible as it was always a 2 against one situation. Eventually I had to pick up another job and quit going to high school never finishing it until later on as an adult. Everything got worst from there on, if i wasn't working it was told I was lazy, fights happened a lot and i would isolate into my room. I began to just feel guilty for not working, because it just end up in fighting and or insults so i just became complacent. It was "better" after I broke. I was exhausted and tired, depression, and anxiety was growing inside of me panic attacks for not working on something that wasn't making money i couldn't have fun anymore, no friends just alone. One night I nearly ended up in a car crash nearly falling asleep at the wheel going home after work and I realized after my panic attack on the side of the road that I just replaced my dad. What she had did to me. When i got home I had the biggest fight with her i ever had. things were thrown I swear the neighbour could've hear us. I grabbed all that I had which wasn't much and left with the vehicle I went to my grandparents place it was the only place i could think to go. They took me in. after that I never really saw my mom or my sister in person at least. I got out alive, thats what it felt. I lived with them until i got to college, they helped a lot. However i didn't get out with my scars.
I spend a lot of time with councillors and eventually i was diagnosed with Severe Anxiety. But because my grandparents have helped a lot that is when i found art and drawing and film. Thats when i stared to draw the gestation horror art you see today. It came from my love of horror movies and pregnancy porn. It was something i could do with that feeling of guilt. I was on medication and everything was good. However my grandparents eventually passed away nothing tragic or horrible. they both lived a long life and will always be loved.
Life had its ups and downs but overall. I was living.
It was shocking to hear as would hearing about anyones death you may know. However I spent a lot of time thinking about this day if it ever came. I thought I would feel some relief, catharsis having out lived her. But I didn't I felt that guilt I did along time ago. That lead to me going to counselling to help me get through it whenever this kinda of thing happens. As counselling was going well.
Thats when i posted to patreon about to explain why i was suddenly gone...
I decided to share my anxiety about working on my art and such. As i do feel that anxiety whenever i try to work on it either my usual, commissions, or patreon. They asked what it was about and I choose to share, I tried to be vague, but he got the picture. He asked a lot of questions about it. eventually at the end of the session they mentioned the concern about the content i draw. Saying the anxiety might come from the feeling i had about my mother and she might be the the reason i may draw this art. After i got home. I was looking at my art and had a severe mental breakdown. At the time I believed what they said. That all the art that i thought was for me and what i want to do for fun was still about her in some way. I began to hate myself and art. I felt all the guilt rush me.
This was mid december. In the new year I crashed, felt broken and lost. Luckily i was living with a friend. but it was a downward spiral though. I feel into a sever depression and i stopped taking my medication. Eventually i lost my job because i just stopped going. And I Stopped touching my art. stopped caring about my health. and eventually I just stopped eating. I didn't care about anything anymore. I wanted to just fade away, turn to dust. Like I said, my friend was living with me and (basically dragged me) took me to the hospital, I didn't fight back, just was empty and to weak to do so. However they saved me and i owe them everything. I stayed at the hospital for about a month, but after i got home i had to do therapy. I got back on medication and start to eat. that was in april of this year. however i didn't feel to touch my tablet to do art and such. It was a struggle still very much money wise. Mentally I was slowly getting better. At another point in the summer me and my therapist came to the conclusion that I have some form of ptsd that is related to what happened while growing up and the mental abuse I took which is where the anxiety comes from.
September came along and the advise that my therapist was to find a hobby that i could do that doesn't give me any pressure to preform or work on. So i took up walking, that sounds weird, but I just go out without a plan besides just walk around the city and got to stores, not to shop, but to explore and sit at the park and that has been wonderful.
I start to think about this place again, It never really left my mind. But over the months i had been focusing a lot on myself. However with medication and therapy and feeling better each day. my mind became clearer there is lots of stuff left behind in this very rough year. I was still earning through patreon and commissioners patiently wait for some answer, anything really.
With a clearer head i realized my anxiety comes from the high level I kept putting myself too, over promising people so i could please them, and the urge to earn money in doing this art for a living in some way. That was unfair to do that to myself and especially to those i made promises to, either trades, commissions, patreon rewards and such. I feel like i have hurt a lot of people, but I have learnt to not dwell on that feeling because that won't help the future me out. I do want to find a way to compensate for those promises never kept. Either refunds when i get better financially, or attempt completing the work i was hired for or some form of gifts? But that will take the time it needs. However I wasn't drawing at all, so i wasn't to sure if anything i could do would help this situation out. I had debated to do the refunds as best i can and move away from art. But one day...
I had an urge to draw, it snuck up on me. I just sat and drew and coloured it. I was happy with it, proud even! I looked at my account on here and the art didn't bother me as it did last year. I think with a clear mind and not one struggling with guilt, depression and anger. I see what I saw before when i started to draw this art. Thats when i realized that what i went through this year could've been circumvented from literally not tell my counsellor about my art.
I am a bit pissed about it. But i think ultimately I have decided to go back to art. I have been having the fun i had before and that this as a hobby instead of trying to treat this like a job. So that means that there is a lot of things i need to clean up essentially.
The very overdue commissions, which i got a season job recently and so i hope to have money sooner then later to either refund them or complete their pieces in the new year of January. I don't feel comfortable holding onto that any longer then i have too. So next year I'll start properly contacting those i owe commissions to either complete their commission or refund it. Whatever i get done is done and the rest will be refunded.
For patreon, i don't exactly know what to do. There were a lot of promises that i offered and couldn't keep up on or never really fulfilled. I'll have to spend more time figuring out what to do or offer. Honestly I did love doing the patreon request streams they were so much fun to do. However i don't feel comfortable anymore with having my patreon open. So I think i will shut it done some time this month before christmas. Also found out that if you wanna post NSFW stuff you have to send an image of a government id and other info to like a third party site and i am like NOPE. I am not gonna share that to anyone.
(Let me know if there is an idea for those rewards and how i could offer something to fulfill that would suitable?)
However anything really will only begin in the new year and will be at a slow pace trying to to put that pressure on myself, but with a game plan.
At the moment i am not gonna be really communicative beside this journal and some reply on comments and gonna spend my month doing what i want with art and stuff.
Ultimately I want to turn this back to being fun for me and as a hobby. I am no longer interesting in earning money with my art and just want to share my gross and weird gestation horror stories with everyone here.
ONE last thing, there is no need to apologize if you left the patreon, or cancel a commission, or how you are feeling, or if you are upset with me. This year has been a long journey one that could've ended poorly.
As for my feeling toward my family. I have been talking to my sister again, patching things up. Gonna meet up with her this week and chat. An this post will be the last time i let my mother occupy my mind.
I am alive and thats what i just want to be atm.
I know this was long and kinda rambling, but i wanted to share and explain where i am and how i am doing.
Thanks for reading <3 Fred~
Its been a year since I spoke last. And that was on patreon and so not that many people saw that. What I posted was about my short hiatus that i ant on as it was personal, but thought i should share in that years December. However I never followed up and I have been gone.
What happened last year? After i had to cut my stream short for an appointment that i forgot about. It was rushed and i still feel bad for cutting it short.
Within the week I received an email asking me to phone it came from my sister, Which when I moved out, I stopped communicating with my family as they were mentally abusive towards me, mostly from my mom. At the time they would say I ran away and constant call me out for abandoning them and such it got to a point where they would keep contacting me and try to find out where i was living and such. When they called the police and said that i was a danger to myself, thats when I moved forward with a restraining order. After that I think they got the message. I was confused and a little worried to be honest so I did phone her. Thats when I found out that our mom died from a heart attack.
//For context//
Growing up after my Dad died, was at first tough as he was the "Breadwinner" of the family He worked a lot and almost never home and so mom took care of me and my sister. I was around grade 6 when it happened. Our dad's grandparents which i love and miss to this very day, they helped out when mom had to find a job and cover the hole my dad left behind. However when i got old enough to work, my mom convinced me to get a job while i was in highschool. That wasn't a good idea, but i wanted to help. I got a job at a grocery store part time, but later in that year she lost her job and seemingly couldn't find a job after that. So i had to pick up more shifts, however i realized that my sister never got a job. Me and Mom and My Sister would fight a lot about this. However it alway ended with me apologizing and feeling terrible as it was always a 2 against one situation. Eventually I had to pick up another job and quit going to high school never finishing it until later on as an adult. Everything got worst from there on, if i wasn't working it was told I was lazy, fights happened a lot and i would isolate into my room. I began to just feel guilty for not working, because it just end up in fighting and or insults so i just became complacent. It was "better" after I broke. I was exhausted and tired, depression, and anxiety was growing inside of me panic attacks for not working on something that wasn't making money i couldn't have fun anymore, no friends just alone. One night I nearly ended up in a car crash nearly falling asleep at the wheel going home after work and I realized after my panic attack on the side of the road that I just replaced my dad. What she had did to me. When i got home I had the biggest fight with her i ever had. things were thrown I swear the neighbour could've hear us. I grabbed all that I had which wasn't much and left with the vehicle I went to my grandparents place it was the only place i could think to go. They took me in. after that I never really saw my mom or my sister in person at least. I got out alive, thats what it felt. I lived with them until i got to college, they helped a lot. However i didn't get out with my scars.
I spend a lot of time with councillors and eventually i was diagnosed with Severe Anxiety. But because my grandparents have helped a lot that is when i found art and drawing and film. Thats when i stared to draw the gestation horror art you see today. It came from my love of horror movies and pregnancy porn. It was something i could do with that feeling of guilt. I was on medication and everything was good. However my grandparents eventually passed away nothing tragic or horrible. they both lived a long life and will always be loved.
Life had its ups and downs but overall. I was living.
It was shocking to hear as would hearing about anyones death you may know. However I spent a lot of time thinking about this day if it ever came. I thought I would feel some relief, catharsis having out lived her. But I didn't I felt that guilt I did along time ago. That lead to me going to counselling to help me get through it whenever this kinda of thing happens. As counselling was going well.
Thats when i posted to patreon about to explain why i was suddenly gone...
I decided to share my anxiety about working on my art and such. As i do feel that anxiety whenever i try to work on it either my usual, commissions, or patreon. They asked what it was about and I choose to share, I tried to be vague, but he got the picture. He asked a lot of questions about it. eventually at the end of the session they mentioned the concern about the content i draw. Saying the anxiety might come from the feeling i had about my mother and she might be the the reason i may draw this art. After i got home. I was looking at my art and had a severe mental breakdown. At the time I believed what they said. That all the art that i thought was for me and what i want to do for fun was still about her in some way. I began to hate myself and art. I felt all the guilt rush me.
This was mid december. In the new year I crashed, felt broken and lost. Luckily i was living with a friend. but it was a downward spiral though. I feel into a sever depression and i stopped taking my medication. Eventually i lost my job because i just stopped going. And I Stopped touching my art. stopped caring about my health. and eventually I just stopped eating. I didn't care about anything anymore. I wanted to just fade away, turn to dust. Like I said, my friend was living with me and (basically dragged me) took me to the hospital, I didn't fight back, just was empty and to weak to do so. However they saved me and i owe them everything. I stayed at the hospital for about a month, but after i got home i had to do therapy. I got back on medication and start to eat. that was in april of this year. however i didn't feel to touch my tablet to do art and such. It was a struggle still very much money wise. Mentally I was slowly getting better. At another point in the summer me and my therapist came to the conclusion that I have some form of ptsd that is related to what happened while growing up and the mental abuse I took which is where the anxiety comes from.
September came along and the advise that my therapist was to find a hobby that i could do that doesn't give me any pressure to preform or work on. So i took up walking, that sounds weird, but I just go out without a plan besides just walk around the city and got to stores, not to shop, but to explore and sit at the park and that has been wonderful.
I start to think about this place again, It never really left my mind. But over the months i had been focusing a lot on myself. However with medication and therapy and feeling better each day. my mind became clearer there is lots of stuff left behind in this very rough year. I was still earning through patreon and commissioners patiently wait for some answer, anything really.
With a clearer head i realized my anxiety comes from the high level I kept putting myself too, over promising people so i could please them, and the urge to earn money in doing this art for a living in some way. That was unfair to do that to myself and especially to those i made promises to, either trades, commissions, patreon rewards and such. I feel like i have hurt a lot of people, but I have learnt to not dwell on that feeling because that won't help the future me out. I do want to find a way to compensate for those promises never kept. Either refunds when i get better financially, or attempt completing the work i was hired for or some form of gifts? But that will take the time it needs. However I wasn't drawing at all, so i wasn't to sure if anything i could do would help this situation out. I had debated to do the refunds as best i can and move away from art. But one day...
I had an urge to draw, it snuck up on me. I just sat and drew and coloured it. I was happy with it, proud even! I looked at my account on here and the art didn't bother me as it did last year. I think with a clear mind and not one struggling with guilt, depression and anger. I see what I saw before when i started to draw this art. Thats when i realized that what i went through this year could've been circumvented from literally not tell my counsellor about my art.
I am a bit pissed about it. But i think ultimately I have decided to go back to art. I have been having the fun i had before and that this as a hobby instead of trying to treat this like a job. So that means that there is a lot of things i need to clean up essentially.
The very overdue commissions, which i got a season job recently and so i hope to have money sooner then later to either refund them or complete their pieces in the new year of January. I don't feel comfortable holding onto that any longer then i have too. So next year I'll start properly contacting those i owe commissions to either complete their commission or refund it. Whatever i get done is done and the rest will be refunded.
For patreon, i don't exactly know what to do. There were a lot of promises that i offered and couldn't keep up on or never really fulfilled. I'll have to spend more time figuring out what to do or offer. Honestly I did love doing the patreon request streams they were so much fun to do. However i don't feel comfortable anymore with having my patreon open. So I think i will shut it done some time this month before christmas. Also found out that if you wanna post NSFW stuff you have to send an image of a government id and other info to like a third party site and i am like NOPE. I am not gonna share that to anyone.
(Let me know if there is an idea for those rewards and how i could offer something to fulfill that would suitable?)
However anything really will only begin in the new year and will be at a slow pace trying to to put that pressure on myself, but with a game plan.
At the moment i am not gonna be really communicative beside this journal and some reply on comments and gonna spend my month doing what i want with art and stuff.
Ultimately I want to turn this back to being fun for me and as a hobby. I am no longer interesting in earning money with my art and just want to share my gross and weird gestation horror stories with everyone here.
ONE last thing, there is no need to apologize if you left the patreon, or cancel a commission, or how you are feeling, or if you are upset with me. This year has been a long journey one that could've ended poorly.
As for my feeling toward my family. I have been talking to my sister again, patching things up. Gonna meet up with her this week and chat. An this post will be the last time i let my mother occupy my mind.
I am alive and thats what i just want to be atm.
I know this was long and kinda rambling, but i wanted to share and explain where i am and how i am doing.
Thanks for reading <3 Fred~
Internet Outage and Stream
Posted 3 years agoSorry for no updates during the weekend, besides work on Friday a huge chunk of Canada practically went internet dark, including me. Mostly everyone is back up an running, but for some reason my internet didn't come back. So I decide to move internet providers as this has sorta happen on a lesser scale last year.
THat being said today we are doing a stream!
It'll start about 11:00 AM CST
It will be sorta whatever as everything has been hectic. lol
https://picarto.tv/OJItheMonster
THat being said today we are doing a stream!
It'll start about 11:00 AM CST
It will be sorta whatever as everything has been hectic. lol
https://picarto.tv/OJItheMonster
Late Stream :3 At 7pm CST
Posted 3 years agohttps://picarto.tv/OJItheMonster
Stream today, just a simple working on with arts and such. swing by and say hi! :)
We start at 7:00pm CST
Stream today, just a simple working on with arts and such. swing by and say hi! :)
We start at 7:00pm CST
New Stream at 3:00pm CST today
Posted 3 years agoStarting Stream in about an hour!
Will just be working on commissions, new art, and comic stuff!
---> https://picarto.tv/OJItheMonster
Will just be working on commissions, new art, and comic stuff!
---> https://picarto.tv/OJItheMonster
Back to Action
Posted 3 years agoPatreon Request Live Stream! On Now!
Update later this evening about commissions and what's in the future.
Back to discord sometime this weekend!
https://picarto.tv/OJItheMonster
Update later this evening about commissions and what's in the future.
Back to discord sometime this weekend!
https://picarto.tv/OJItheMonster
Back to Action
Posted 3 years agoPatreon Request Live Stream! On Now!
Update later this evening about commissions and what's in the future.
Back to discord sometime this weekend!
Update later this evening about commissions and what's in the future.
Back to discord sometime this weekend!
Stream will be late.
Posted 3 years agoStream will be a bit late today at around 2:00pm-3:00pm Canada CST. Keep an eye out when i start!
---> https://picarto.tv/OJItheMonster/
---> https://picarto.tv/OJItheMonster/
Kobolds and Streaming!
Posted 3 years agoFirst look at the main characters of Invasion are up here and the first page has been uploaded to patreon to see for all tiers a week early!
Stream will start in about an hour from now!
---> https://picarto.tv/OJItheMonster/
The stream is relaxed and casual. just to start with and doodle. nothing crazy yet.
Stream will start in about an hour from now!
---> https://picarto.tv/OJItheMonster/
The stream is relaxed and casual. just to start with and doodle. nothing crazy yet.
COMMISSIONS ARE CLOSED
Posted 3 years agoALL SIX SLOTS WERE FILLED AND THANK YOU ALL!
Things will change next month on who this is done so its not seems rushed!
1.
Nidofur
2.
blackjackaught
3.
twilightmaster
4.
AnbuBat
5.
SOUNDBBABE
6.
Dandarkheart
Things will change next month on who this is done so its not seems rushed!
1.
Nidofur2.
blackjackaught3.
twilightmaster4.
AnbuBat5.
SOUNDBBABE6.
DandarkheartMay-ternity Begins!
Posted 3 years ago---> SCHEDULE : https://www.furaffinity.net/view/47024303/ <---
Happy 1st of May-ternity!
Here is the current upload schedule!
First on this list is tomorrows Commission slots, they will be limited and the goal is to have them done within the month of may and have limited commission slots open monthly! Public there will be 6 slots available for a first come, first serve bases.
It will launch at 12pm Canadian CST and will remain open until all slots are filled.
There will be a link to a form to fill out. Have all the information prepared, reference's to your characters and what your scene will be.
I will not draw intense gore, death, or underage characters, or franchise characters (Pokemon is the only exception)
Everything else is open and free game!
Prices are here ---> https://www.furaffinity.net/commissions/ojififo/#
Next on the list is The Webcomic "Invasion!"
The first ten pages are the prelude to the series! I will be posting 1-2 pages per upload day either wednesday or thursday!
Next is Streaming!
Currently I am using Picarto and plan to stream 1-3 hours starting at 12pm-1pm Canadian CST on thursdays. However sundays might come to play, but I usually work sunday.
Here is my page ---> https://picarto.tv/OJItheMonster/profile
Nothing special yet, but its a start!
Last is Patreon Stuff!
There will be 2 patreon exclusive piece this month which means you have to a patron to see these pieces!
There will be a patreon request stream where patrons can request lewd horror arts.
And for the end of the month there will be a patreon voted piece either on a theme or character!
Happy 1st of May-ternity!
Here is the current upload schedule!
First on this list is tomorrows Commission slots, they will be limited and the goal is to have them done within the month of may and have limited commission slots open monthly! Public there will be 6 slots available for a first come, first serve bases.
It will launch at 12pm Canadian CST and will remain open until all slots are filled.
There will be a link to a form to fill out. Have all the information prepared, reference's to your characters and what your scene will be.
I will not draw intense gore, death, or underage characters, or franchise characters (Pokemon is the only exception)
Everything else is open and free game!
Prices are here ---> https://www.furaffinity.net/commissions/ojififo/#
Next on the list is The Webcomic "Invasion!"
The first ten pages are the prelude to the series! I will be posting 1-2 pages per upload day either wednesday or thursday!
Next is Streaming!
Currently I am using Picarto and plan to stream 1-3 hours starting at 12pm-1pm Canadian CST on thursdays. However sundays might come to play, but I usually work sunday.
Here is my page ---> https://picarto.tv/OJItheMonster/profile
Nothing special yet, but its a start!
Last is Patreon Stuff!
There will be 2 patreon exclusive piece this month which means you have to a patron to see these pieces!
There will be a patreon request stream where patrons can request lewd horror arts.
And for the end of the month there will be a patreon voted piece either on a theme or character!
MAY-ternity
Posted 3 years agoThis year i want to celebrate this years MAY-ternity
With some things being finished up and worked on. I have been working on other cool projects.
May 1st will be will be the start and a fresh schedule of new pieces to come out every week!
Other cool things planned for May is the start of my Webcomic: INVASION
- Follow Geel and Prim, two kobolds who must try to survive and no become impregnated in their world that is being invaded by the evil god OJI and his horde.
We will be opening for commissions as a limited slots and and their will be a form to fillout as first come first serve.
They will open up on Monday May 2nd 10:00am CST. Prices will be on May 1st with the schedule.
Thanks!
With some things being finished up and worked on. I have been working on other cool projects.
May 1st will be will be the start and a fresh schedule of new pieces to come out every week!
Other cool things planned for May is the start of my Webcomic: INVASION
- Follow Geel and Prim, two kobolds who must try to survive and no become impregnated in their world that is being invaded by the evil god OJI and his horde.
We will be opening for commissions as a limited slots and and their will be a form to fillout as first come first serve.
They will open up on Monday May 2nd 10:00am CST. Prices will be on May 1st with the schedule.
Thanks!
:3
Posted 3 years agoSome changes have happened and everything has finally calmed down, Sorry for the such sporadic posts and missed art posting. But the changes that happened were very important and i am jazzed about life more then i ever been!
New Steps in Life, Patreon, and Art
Posted 3 years agoHello everyone! I do greatly apologies for the quietness around, well everywhere. February was a hell of a month that left me struggling to get focused on my art.
Alot has happened both good and bad. Some of the good has been that I actually moved into the city. I lived out of town for quite sometime and unfortunately due to losing my car it made me realize how isolated i really was living out in a small town. So i found a placed with a close friend that i had made and we'll be living together. (They actually know what i draw and are fine with it so... hurray!) Other good news is that the insurance for losing my car gave me a bit more money then they originally offered as some arguing. Which is good, coupled with moving into the city i can start looking for a car without the pressure that i was feeling when i lived out of town.
However moving being just stressful over all is fine, but the rest of the world has had me in a rut and feeling awful, first was the "Freedom Convoy" in my country Canada. It left me on edge as their were people wishing that they do a Jan 6th which hurts to have heard. Then there was the build up and eventual attack of Ukraine, I had friends when i was a kid who had family from there. My brain overworks itself when stuff like this happens feeling the doom and gloom of it all overwhelms me. Someday I wish i was cold and callous i could just shrug my shoulders and walk way and focus on what i want to do. But i feel lucky as I have manage to push through alot of those feelings because despite the tears and panic I have been working on art, maybe not some i should be focusing on right now, but I have been working which is much of an improvement from years past. Thanks to move that helped with keeping my focused and allowing my to have a new space to work in. I am excited to share alot of the work i have been working on as i got a new project or two on the go!
Speaking of which I have been feeling bad as of the last 2 months i have neglected this patreon and its members. I had made promises of streams, comics, and other cool things that i haven't delivered at all. That is my fault and this month and onward i want to do better! With the new place i'll need sometime to set up but i want to get ready to finally do a stream. For comics I have actually thumbnail several stories and will be share this month and on with sketch pages and wips. and I will finally get that first YCH piece done so i can move onto the next one!
This week is my catch up week as I have a couple of things i both still owe and need to get the ball rolling as its in my court. So expect another big update post on Friday! That is also when i'll be returning to discord shortly with this week to get things figured out and some new extra stuff i got cooking!
For anyone who is interest i will be opening up for commissions in small batches sometime this month date is to be announced on friday pending how well i do my catch up work.
Thank you everyone who is here! This all mean so much to me I love you all~!
Also i hope you like my new piece today!
Alot has happened both good and bad. Some of the good has been that I actually moved into the city. I lived out of town for quite sometime and unfortunately due to losing my car it made me realize how isolated i really was living out in a small town. So i found a placed with a close friend that i had made and we'll be living together. (They actually know what i draw and are fine with it so... hurray!) Other good news is that the insurance for losing my car gave me a bit more money then they originally offered as some arguing. Which is good, coupled with moving into the city i can start looking for a car without the pressure that i was feeling when i lived out of town.
However moving being just stressful over all is fine, but the rest of the world has had me in a rut and feeling awful, first was the "Freedom Convoy" in my country Canada. It left me on edge as their were people wishing that they do a Jan 6th which hurts to have heard. Then there was the build up and eventual attack of Ukraine, I had friends when i was a kid who had family from there. My brain overworks itself when stuff like this happens feeling the doom and gloom of it all overwhelms me. Someday I wish i was cold and callous i could just shrug my shoulders and walk way and focus on what i want to do. But i feel lucky as I have manage to push through alot of those feelings because despite the tears and panic I have been working on art, maybe not some i should be focusing on right now, but I have been working which is much of an improvement from years past. Thanks to move that helped with keeping my focused and allowing my to have a new space to work in. I am excited to share alot of the work i have been working on as i got a new project or two on the go!
Speaking of which I have been feeling bad as of the last 2 months i have neglected this patreon and its members. I had made promises of streams, comics, and other cool things that i haven't delivered at all. That is my fault and this month and onward i want to do better! With the new place i'll need sometime to set up but i want to get ready to finally do a stream. For comics I have actually thumbnail several stories and will be share this month and on with sketch pages and wips. and I will finally get that first YCH piece done so i can move onto the next one!
This week is my catch up week as I have a couple of things i both still owe and need to get the ball rolling as its in my court. So expect another big update post on Friday! That is also when i'll be returning to discord shortly with this week to get things figured out and some new extra stuff i got cooking!
For anyone who is interest i will be opening up for commissions in small batches sometime this month date is to be announced on friday pending how well i do my catch up work.
Thank you everyone who is here! This all mean so much to me I love you all~!
Also i hope you like my new piece today!
And we are in the New Year!
Posted 3 years agoHappy New Year!
I ran into a spot of trouble last week which cause some delays and some other things to move forward a bit quicker!
More info on Monday, Unless you are on discord, i will mention it there.
I ran into a spot of trouble last week which cause some delays and some other things to move forward a bit quicker!
More info on Monday, Unless you are on discord, i will mention it there.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
Posted 4 years agoI have been a bit quiet this time of the year. Not from stress, but from the struggle I have with this holiday. I love its festive cheer and corny movies and I always take my time to watch Die Hard. I make sure I stay positive because the part of the holidays that is the roughest for me is not having a family to celebrate it with. The few i cared about passed away a long time ago and the other i no longer felt safe to be with.
This Christmas I spend it alone, but not as sad as i was last year. This year nearing its end has been the best part of my life so far. I hope it to continue it into the new year and beyond. I am happy to have people here who love my work and care about me in any form.
I want to wish all those who celebrate Christmas a Merry Christmas! and All those who don't Have a Happy Holidays! Express your love to the ones you care for the most.
Love and Cheer!
Oji
(Posting some art and catch up stuff this coming week!)
This Christmas I spend it alone, but not as sad as i was last year. This year nearing its end has been the best part of my life so far. I hope it to continue it into the new year and beyond. I am happy to have people here who love my work and care about me in any form.
I want to wish all those who celebrate Christmas a Merry Christmas! and All those who don't Have a Happy Holidays! Express your love to the ones you care for the most.
Love and Cheer!
Oji
(Posting some art and catch up stuff this coming week!)
Comics, Commissions, and Other Projects!
Posted 4 years agoHello!
I hope everyone is doing well! I got some awesome ideas and future planning to let everyone know!
Today is December first and the beginning of a new month! Last month as a mix bag of success and missed dates. However I have gotten back up and will be back on proper schedule next week starting monday!
Some Ideas I have been working is opening back up for commissions in 2022 probably around for Mayternity.
Plus the beginning of 2022 I am wanting to make it my goal to release a handful of comics and stories in the year!
Streaming is gonna happen soon as I am working on getting all my programs i use onto the new computer and make sure all is running well!
I hope you all have a wonderful day!
I hope everyone is doing well! I got some awesome ideas and future planning to let everyone know!
Today is December first and the beginning of a new month! Last month as a mix bag of success and missed dates. However I have gotten back up and will be back on proper schedule next week starting monday!
Some Ideas I have been working is opening back up for commissions in 2022 probably around for Mayternity.
Plus the beginning of 2022 I am wanting to make it my goal to release a handful of comics and stories in the year!
Streaming is gonna happen soon as I am working on getting all my programs i use onto the new computer and make sure all is running well!
I hope you all have a wonderful day!
Struggles and Updates
Posted 4 years agoI have been struggling with my mental health for the last week or so, so it has been slow with here and patreon. Just wanted to inform everyone that i am doing okie, always tough this time of year for me. But i have gone through the rough of it and will be taking sometime to plan for the future, which will be an update tomorrow! (Some exciting stuff!)
Patreon Sneak Peek:
Amy and Claire wanted to have a night alone of corny monster horror movies and seductive love, but they didn't expect the monster movie to become real and they are the main characters.
Patreon Sneak Peek:
Amy and Claire wanted to have a night alone of corny monster horror movies and seductive love, but they didn't expect the monster movie to become real and they are the main characters.
Winter Blues
Posted 4 years agoHello, Sorry for the missed post yesterday! Winter has hit where i live and the cold and snow, despite the beauty of it sometimes. It always has some adverse mental affects this time of year. Which i have been preparing for all year for. So if things seem a bit wonky the next couple of weeks. This is why. But I'll do my best!
Next weeks piece is up on patreon!
Sneak Peek:
The four of them walked into the room. It was cool to their bare bodies and it had no clues to where they were. Someone put them there and they had to find out who and why. Moments later the floor vent tore open, tentacles bursted out. They latched onto Lacey and with a hard tug started to pull her into the vent. Everyone scrambled to get to her as she was pulled into. She screamed for their help as they held on tight, but the tentacles were strong and Lacey's belly started to grow.
Next weeks piece is up on patreon!
Sneak Peek:
The four of them walked into the room. It was cool to their bare bodies and it had no clues to where they were. Someone put them there and they had to find out who and why. Moments later the floor vent tore open, tentacles bursted out. They latched onto Lacey and with a hard tug started to pull her into the vent. Everyone scrambled to get to her as she was pulled into. She screamed for their help as they held on tight, but the tentacles were strong and Lacey's belly started to grow.
YCH, Discord, and Update!
Posted 4 years agoHello everyone! A quick Update for the future!
On November 26th, Near the end of the month there will be a New YCH (your character here) that will be up for people to get! there will be 6 slots and will be similar to previous pieces!
The Public Discord will be posted up on Monday the 15th for all those who want to join! It'll be a community group where folk can chat and hangout, plus news and other event's are planned for that!
And Life has been crazy busy so far as of right now. I have been slowing myself down to make sure i don't over work myself. However I have been proud of the work that i have been doing and happy with all the wonderful support too!
Thanks!
On November 26th, Near the end of the month there will be a New YCH (your character here) that will be up for people to get! there will be 6 slots and will be similar to previous pieces!
The Public Discord will be posted up on Monday the 15th for all those who want to join! It'll be a community group where folk can chat and hangout, plus news and other event's are planned for that!
And Life has been crazy busy so far as of right now. I have been slowing myself down to make sure i don't over work myself. However I have been proud of the work that i have been doing and happy with all the wonderful support too!
Thanks!
November Schedule!
Posted 4 years agoGO HERE ---> https://www.furaffinity.net/view/44489472/
FINALE!
Posted 4 years agoBIG THANKS TO EVERYONE! FOR ALL OF THIS WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN POSSIBLE WITHOUT ALL OF YOU!
It was a Journey!
Read the final round here ---> https://www.furaffinity.net/view/44441052/
Or start here of the game! ---> https://www.furaffinity.net/view/44335929/
Or from the very Beginning ---> https://www.furaffinity.net/view/44087292/
Will take a couple of days off to organize and rest. Than Will put my focus on finishing old commissions, new art, patreon, and a new comic!
Update Coming Friday!
It was a Journey!
Read the final round here ---> https://www.furaffinity.net/view/44441052/
Or start here of the game! ---> https://www.furaffinity.net/view/44335929/
Or from the very Beginning ---> https://www.furaffinity.net/view/44087292/
Will take a couple of days off to organize and rest. Than Will put my focus on finishing old commissions, new art, patreon, and a new comic!
Update Coming Friday!
FINALE! BIG THANKS! AND smol update
Posted 4 years agoHELLO EVERYONE
WE DID IT! WE MADE IT PAST THE 1000$ GOAL! THATS AMAZING!
I AM SPEECHLESS AND HONORED BY ALL WHO DONATED!
Even if you just favourited it, or commented
YOU ARE ALL AWESOME PEOPLE!
I AM EXCITED! this week I will order the new computer!
BUT
Before i do that!
Originally i was gonna post the finale today, but because we past an extra 200$ mile stones
I wanted the finale to be BIG!
(pun intended)
SO I am putting some extra work into making it 6 pages and it will be up tomorrow!
If you wanna donate before then, the donation links will be active until 11:59pm CST tonight!
THANKS TO ALL THOSE WHO JOINED PATREON Even if it was to vote and add some eggs!
Everyone is AMAZING
and THANK YOU ALL!
LOOK OUT FOR THE FINALE TOMORROW! TO SEE THE OUTCOME YOU DON'T WANNA MISS!
Plus small update: New art this month starting monday and new discord groups coming soon! + comic is in the works!
WE DID IT! WE MADE IT PAST THE 1000$ GOAL! THATS AMAZING!
I AM SPEECHLESS AND HONORED BY ALL WHO DONATED!
Even if you just favourited it, or commented
YOU ARE ALL AWESOME PEOPLE!
I AM EXCITED! this week I will order the new computer!
BUT
Before i do that!
Originally i was gonna post the finale today, but because we past an extra 200$ mile stones
I wanted the finale to be BIG!
(pun intended)
SO I am putting some extra work into making it 6 pages and it will be up tomorrow!
If you wanna donate before then, the donation links will be active until 11:59pm CST tonight!
THANKS TO ALL THOSE WHO JOINED PATREON Even if it was to vote and add some eggs!
Everyone is AMAZING
and THANK YOU ALL!
LOOK OUT FOR THE FINALE TOMORROW! TO SEE THE OUTCOME YOU DON'T WANNA MISS!
Plus small update: New art this month starting monday and new discord groups coming soon! + comic is in the works!
ROUND 4 is up!
Posted 4 years agoALL DONATIONS AND GOALS ARE IN CANADIAN DOLLARS!
Our first goal is 1000$
Our second goal is 2000$
this is aimed for a new better computer that will allow me to work on new and awesome stuff for the future and stream this art creation!
Remember to state which contestant will receive your donation of eggs! if not stated in the donation then both will receive it.
For whoever donates the most within the event time of 12pm CST Oct 26 - 11:59pm CST Oct 31 which win a prize of a full art piece and a character to appear in the games aftershow to have one on one time with the host!
If you join patreon during this time your patonage will be added to the total and split between the two! Being a patron will give you access to other art, but for this event you'll have the VIP perk of deciding what horrid this happen to the couple in a series of votes!
However for those who've already joined before the event you contributions will be added at the end of the event! Just send me a message stating that you've joined before the even through here if you donated.
Patreon ----> https://www.patreon.com/ojififo
Round 4 and scores!
Round 4 begins here ---> Page 4: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/44401872/
Malorie at 622 eggs!
and
Jericho at 281 eggs!
for a total of 903 eggs!
Page 1: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/44335929/
We passed yet another 200 mark and added an additional page to this comic set!
Malorie and Jericho, worst for wear, have made it to the final round!
We are only $100 away from the goal! YEAH! Lets get there!
Donate Here ---> https://www.paypal.com/donate?hoste.....=4VL4X3WZA4MVCOur first goal is 1000$
Our second goal is 2000$
this is aimed for a new better computer that will allow me to work on new and awesome stuff for the future and stream this art creation!
Remember to state which contestant will receive your donation of eggs! if not stated in the donation then both will receive it.
For whoever donates the most within the event time of 12pm CST Oct 26 - 11:59pm CST Oct 31 which win a prize of a full art piece and a character to appear in the games aftershow to have one on one time with the host!
If you join patreon during this time your patonage will be added to the total and split between the two! Being a patron will give you access to other art, but for this event you'll have the VIP perk of deciding what horrid this happen to the couple in a series of votes!
However for those who've already joined before the event you contributions will be added at the end of the event! Just send me a message stating that you've joined before the even through here if you donated.
Patreon ----> https://www.patreon.com/ojififo
ROUND 3 is up!
Posted 4 years agoALL DONATIONS AND GOALS ARE IN CANADIAN DOLLARS!
Round 3 starts here ---> Page 9: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/44380973/
Our first goal is 1000$
Our second goal is 2000$
this is aimed for a new better computer that will allow me to work on new and awesome stuff for the future and stream this art creation!
Remember to state which contestant will receive your donation of eggs! if not stated in the donation then both will receive it.
For whoever donates the most within the event time of 12pm CST Oct 26 - 11:59pm CST Oct 31 which win a prize of a full art piece and a character to appear in the games aftershow to have one on one time with the host!
If you join patreon during this time your patonage will be added to the total and split between the two! Being a patron will give you access to other art, but for this event you'll have the VIP perk of deciding what horrid this happen to the couple in a series of votes!
However for those who've already joined before the event you contributions will be added at the end of the event! Just send me a message stating that you've joined before the even through here if you donated.
Patreon ----> https://www.patreon.com/ojififo
Round 3 starts here ---> Page 9: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/44380973/
Round 3 and scores!
Malorie at 496 eggs!
and
Jericho at 230 eggs!
for a total of 726 eggs!
Page 1: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/44335929/
We passed another 200 mark and added an additional page to this comic set!
It looks like Malorie is the favourite again! but also seems to struggle with the orgasms thats are unwelcome.
We are are only 300$ away to the goal! That is awesome!
Donate Here ---> https://www.paypal.com/donate?hoste.....=4VL4X3WZA4MVCOur first goal is 1000$
Our second goal is 2000$
this is aimed for a new better computer that will allow me to work on new and awesome stuff for the future and stream this art creation!
Remember to state which contestant will receive your donation of eggs! if not stated in the donation then both will receive it.
For whoever donates the most within the event time of 12pm CST Oct 26 - 11:59pm CST Oct 31 which win a prize of a full art piece and a character to appear in the games aftershow to have one on one time with the host!
If you join patreon during this time your patonage will be added to the total and split between the two! Being a patron will give you access to other art, but for this event you'll have the VIP perk of deciding what horrid this happen to the couple in a series of votes!
However for those who've already joined before the event you contributions will be added at the end of the event! Just send me a message stating that you've joined before the even through here if you donated.
Patreon ----> https://www.patreon.com/ojififo
ROUND 2 is up!
Posted 4 years agoALL DONATIONS AND GOALS ARE IN CANADIAN DOLLARS!
Round 2 start ---> Page 6: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/44369184/
Our first goal is 1000$
Our second goal is 2000$
this is aimed for a new better computer that will allow me to work on new and awesome stuff for the future and stream this art creation!
Remember to state which contestant will receive your donation of eggs! if not stated in the donation then both will receive it.
For whoever donates the most within the event time of 12pm CST Oct 26 - 11:59pm CST Oct 31 which win a prize of a full art piece and a character to appear in the games aftershow to have one on one time with the host!
If you join patreon during this time your patonage will be added to the total and split between the two! Being a patron will give you access to other art, but for this event you'll have the VIP perk of deciding what horrid this happen to the couple in a series of votes!
However for those who've already joined before the event you contributions will be added at the end of the event! Just send me a message stating that you've joined before the even through here if you donated.
Patreon ----> https://www.patreon.com/ojififo
Round 2 start ---> Page 6: https://www.furaffinity.net/view/44369184/
Round 2 and scores!
Malorie at 261 eggs!
and
Jericho at 190 eggs!
for a total of 451 eggs!
We passed another 200 mark and added an additional page to this comic set!
It looks like Malorie might be a little to early and Jericho definitly packed on the pounds!
We are almost half way to the goal! Thanks to everyone so far participating in this! you all are awesome!
Donate Here ---> https://www.paypal.com/donate?hoste.....=4VL4X3WZA4MVCOur first goal is 1000$
Our second goal is 2000$
this is aimed for a new better computer that will allow me to work on new and awesome stuff for the future and stream this art creation!
Remember to state which contestant will receive your donation of eggs! if not stated in the donation then both will receive it.
For whoever donates the most within the event time of 12pm CST Oct 26 - 11:59pm CST Oct 31 which win a prize of a full art piece and a character to appear in the games aftershow to have one on one time with the host!
If you join patreon during this time your patonage will be added to the total and split between the two! Being a patron will give you access to other art, but for this event you'll have the VIP perk of deciding what horrid this happen to the couple in a series of votes!
However for those who've already joined before the event you contributions will be added at the end of the event! Just send me a message stating that you've joined before the even through here if you donated.
Patreon ----> https://www.patreon.com/ojififo
