As at least one of you has probably noticed, my presence here on FA has dropped dramatically over the past few months, and had indeed already been falling for some time. My journal output has slowed considerably (my Best Movies list has been up for 4 months straight), my commenting is way down, I only read a handful of journals when I'm around, and I'm still so very consistently slow about uploading the new art I get. Not that I meant to do any of that on purpose, it just seems to be that my state of Furry has evolved to that.

When I first joined FA, it was pretty much my sole outlet for all things Furry. Meeting new people, discovering new aspects on the fandom, finding new artists, whatever it was that happened, this was my hub. Furry may not have started for me here, but it definitely entrenched itself as a permanent part of my identity thanks to FA. And I do kind of miss that! I remember how every time I came onto this site (many times a day usually), I was always super eager for any new thing that came my way.

These days, the eagerness is still there, just not applied here. Twitter seems to be my main Furry communication method, and I've met such a wonderfully large amount of folks in the fandom through other means that I don't even ask that one question that used to always come up, "Do you have an FA?" Then there's local meets, cons, other sites, Telegram on my phone, and in general just so many ways to stay connected with folks. FA, though, has slipped to the wayside. Not just for me, but for a good chunk of everyone it seems. No longer do I feel the need to get a journal out on insignificant (or even significant) events in my life, or constantly read the journals of others. Whatever is in them I probably already heard about elsewhere. FA is becoming an afterthought in that regard.

For the art, it's still great. I plan to continue posting art here whenever I get it, even if it's not right away. But beyond that (and keeping my New Submissions neatly trimmed, because I hate when that backs up), I think it's time for me to formally bow out of here. Because while I love you all and I love the site, the fact remains that FA now isn't what FA once was. At least, not to me, and not for me.

This has been a bunch of rambling, and I do sorta wish I could've spilled my thoughts more elegantly. But the long and the short of it is, I'm just not the FA denizen I used to be. I may be a Furry for life, but that life has other ports of call these days. So lots of *hugs* to all of you, and I still hope to keep up with what's what and who's who wherever I may hear about it. And also keep doing the art thing until the day I die, because there will never be enough furry art in my life.

And so it goes.

2015 was... a year for me. I think I about broke even. Highs, lows, gains, massive regrets, and so on. Not a bad way to wrap things up, but rather hoping 2016 goes a bit smoother. At the very least I hope I do better Journal-wise than I did this year, where I was just a hair over a 2-a-month average (to say nothing of my art posting schedule. My backlog is always building, and yet I'm never sharing...).

But, enough of that. Time for movies! The one thing I can always be reliably counted on to prattle on about, and in a handy-dandy, easy-to-digest list. Like all years, 2015 had more than its fair share of hits, blunders, masterpieces, and creative failures. Strange be the year that doesn't. But it's all the better for that, because variety is the spice of cinematic life, and we got that in spades. I saw my usual cavalcade of movies this year, and got a lot to love. What's the objective best movies released this year? I'm sure I don't know, and this list doesn't reflect that. It reflects my personal favorites. As usual it wasn't an easy process for me to nail things down, and come next year (or even tomorrow) I'll be questioning what I put on and what I left off (casts a long, hard look at Creed). But this is the here and now, and these are my thoughts.

First up, my stats. Somewhat streamlined now, eliminated a rather superfluous category this year (2014 stats in parenthesis):
2015 titles watched (based on US release/availability dates): 84 (119)
Movies viewed in theaters: 126 (183)

Another big drop from the year before, but that was intentional on my part. Been quite busy with school and such this year, not to mention I've been shifting my focus slightly to keep up more with older films, rather than try to obsessively see every new release (meaning I've now been skipping a lot of movies I can tell where going to be meaningless pap before I ever went in).

15. Bone Tomahawk
Western/Horror is a remarkably sparse genre mix, despite how well the two go together. So when one comes along that makes for a great mix of the elements (like, say, a posse of lawmen out hunting a feral tribe of cannibals), I naturally get excited. That this one delivered a wonderful script full of nuanced, wonderfully-acted characters was the surprise, because, to be frank, at this budget and genre, you don’t get that very often. A slow burn of a film that takes the good time to really fill in who we’re spending time with, and is often rather funny and touching to boot. When the horrific elements do crop up, they are abrupt, vicious, and very disturbing (including one depraved moment that got to me far more than anything The Green Inferno had to offer). Though held back by a somewhat cheap atmosphere and simple directing style (victims of the budget and shooting schedule, as is so often the case for movies of this scale), this movie has some real meat on its bones, and is just unique enough to carve itself its own little niche in time. Maybe not a classic, but definitely a prime example of how good “little direct-to-video” movies can be.

14. The Big Short
Who really understands the process and intricacies behind the massive financial crash of 2008 and the bursting of the housing bubble? Not me, that’s for sure. And this movie gets that, and is really, really angry about that. It follows a group of people who saw it all coming a few years back, and made an effort to profit off things. The movie takes plenty of times to break through the fourth wall and explain things to us, doing so in a way that is entertaining and informative, but never condescending. Because the movie wants you to understand, and it wants you to be angry. It’s a broken system that surrounds us, one that buoys up a culture of pure greed and fraud. Even our main characters, for all the money they make, are seemingly broken by how bafflingly corrupt it all is. Thanks goodness the movie is as funny and pointed as it is, or I’d have left the theater feeling even more depressed.

13. Spy
Typecasting never really helps an actor, and Melissa McCarthy seems to get it worse than most, stuck as she is in the “fat woman is crude and falls down” comedy subgenre. So when something like this comes along that utilizes her just right, she comes across as just that much more of a revelation. It keeps the elements of those previous comedies, but actually comments on them and allows McCarthy to be a real character underneath it all (and a rather competent one at that). And in a comedy that lives and dies on its great characters, that counts for even more. As amazing as she is (it’s her best role yet), though, Jason Stathom is the real star here, stealing every scene he’s in with a self-serious batch of quips and straight-faced insanity that mocks everything about what his persona has become, and it is hysterical every time. The whole broad concept of an espionage/action movie parody isn’t exactly fresh water, but this movie makes it work, thanks mostly to this great cast and ideas.

12. It Follows
Indie horror has been on fire over the past few years, and this year kept that hot streak up. The concept is simple. It’s all there in the title. You have sex with someone, it starts following you until you pass it along (via sex) or it catches you and kills you. That’s all. It’s almost too simple and laughable, but the movie plays its cards just right, keeping us engaged in a dreary atmosphere that keeps everything effectively mysterious and super, super creepy. More than that (and more than the simple STD metaphor it first appears to be), the movie has a lot to say about the nature of growing up after being caught in that weird post-teen/early-twentysomething fog of life. We’re on our own (even when we’re not, or when we try not to be), we’re slowly waking up to the inevitability of the end, and we’re constantly lost and trying to find our way. It doesn’t mean to be especially depressing about this, but it’s just saying. A movie that isn’t inherently scary (except for that damn tall man), but it keeps itself together and makes for a truly special, haunting experience. The Carpenter-inspired synth score certainly doesn’t hurt, either.

11. Cinderella
There’s something to be said for a movie that doesn’t try to reinvent the wheel, but just take what it’s got and portray it really, really well. That’s what this is. It’s the classic tale (Disney version, naturally) that you know so well, with no tricks or special surprises or needlessly-convoluted mythologies tacked on. Just a sweet story of finding love and being kind, told with a gorgeously opulent and grand style that lends itself tremendously to the tale (for real, even I was taken aback by the costume and set designs here, and that’s stuff I tend not to notice at first). What’s more, the movie really puts a lot of emphasis on how important (and difficult) it is to stay kind to adversity, to keep being the best example of a good person that you want the world to see. It’s wonderfully sincere in a way that’s entirely too rare these days, and one of the best live-action things the House of Mouse has done in years. Also, to answer your next question, yes, A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes still makes me tear up.

10. Magic Mike XXL
An unexpected sequel about a group of male strippers on a road trip probably shouldn’t be this good. It’s got no solid plot to speak of, no actual conflict, nothing that seems to make a movie a Movie. It’s just a group of friends on a road trip, chatting with each other and trying to figure themselves out at a weird point in their lives. It’s something that speaks to a lot of folks in a very base way, especially those who only ever hang out with their weird friends and don’t seem to quite click with the rest of the world. Additionally, this is an enormously sex positive movie, one that clears away the shame that society seems to have about anything even remotely physical (and also gets by the overly lustful parts of it… mostly), and instead embracing the joy and fun of it all, bringing with it a message that said joy and fun is for everyone, regardless of body type. At a glance this is a write-off movie, a breezy affair with no weight to it, but that simply isn’t true, and it’s a movie that’s more honest and pure with its characters and ideals than most movies will ever even attempt.

9. Selma
Something of a 2014 holdout here (stupid award release strategies), but no matter. Its power is timeless. Taking a look at a slice of time when the Civil Rights Movement was in its heyday, it presents both a powerful portrait of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and also a striking portrayal of racial politics and the struggle for equality, without any easy routes or answers (even for the audience). With thundering performances and harrowing sequences of racial violence, it serves as a bitter reminder of the sins of our past (and present). On top of that, it takes great pains to show the real struggles weren’t always in the loud, overt racism, but also in the quieter things, the moments behind closed doors when powerful (and white) men tried to decide what was best for the future, and if that included minorities or not. The struggle is real, and the movie didn’t cop out with some fictional white surrogate character for the audience, or anything of that nature; it focuses entirely on those being oppressed trying to overcome that oppression, which makes everything ring home all the more. That it is able to somehow spark out an optimistic attitude in the end, that it believes we can get better as a species, that it believes we ultimately can fulfill Dr. King’s dream, speaks volumes to both our capacity as people to begin with and the movie’s stellar portrayal of all relevant events.

8. The Hateful Eight
Carrying on from above is a movie that is many things, one of which being Quentin Tarantino’s most political movie today. A loud, angry screed against the state of racial politics (it may take place post-Civil War, but QT is definitely speaking to us today), this one has a slightly more nihilistic attitude, coming together on the idea that hate can be overcome by more hate (which itself can find friendship in a different kind of hate entirely). Beyond that, it’s still got all the usual hallmarks of a Tarantino flick: outstanding performances, outrageously loquacious dialogue, a whole hodge-podge of cinematic influences on display (primary one, interestingly enough, being John Carpenter’s The Thing), and sudden acts of shocking, bloody violence. Bring it all together in something that’s more of a stage play than his usually lively shows, and you’ve got a movie that is less outwardly accessible than most of his filmography, but certainly deserves to stand tall next to any of them. At the very least, it certainly deserves what the title says, as this is clearly the meanest and nastiest movie he’s ever made.

7. Steve Jobs
I don’t much care about Apple, before or after this movie. I can’t even say if I care much more about the man than I did before. But that’s okay, because this movie goes beyond that. The best biopics focus on specific moments in a person’s life, and this one takes the cake, taking three moments in Apple history and using them as the catalyst to bring out every possible aspect of a very, very complicated individual. He’s nurturing, he’s a control freak, he’s gifted, he’s oblivious, he’s a thief, he’s a tyrant, and he’s a mix of other personality types too, all of it coming together for a blend of personas onscreen that are as compelling as they come. Danny Boyle’s electric and dynamic directing gives the whole thing a glitzy sheen that actually carries the substance it’s about, and Sorkin’s script flows like they always do (it’s said that he writes as though everyone involved has an hour to think up what they’re going to say next in every conversation, and that’s music to my ears).

6. Spotlight
While the above movie covers reality through a decidedly unrealistic (but wholly cinematic) filter, this one is the real world through and through. Delicately understated, efficient, and with no camera trick fancier than a slow pull-out, it realizes that the drama in an intense journalistic investigation discovering a massive conspiracy comes from exactly that. It’s a quite movie, one that revels in simply showing the process of how “real” journalism works, and the tireless efforts one must go through to dig out the truth from a thick pack of lies that no one wants to shift through. It calls to mind the likes of All The President’s Men, and in a way that doesn’t make this seem like some pale imitator. It’s frank, it’s quiet, and it’s real. Also it’s scored to a soundtrack so fitting and perfect that I get goosebumps just thinking about it.

5. Shaun the Sheep Movie
This is what happy entertainment looks like. Simple as that. Colorful Claymation that moves gorgeously, packed with sight gags right out of the silent era, and with nary a single word of spoken dialogue (outside of music lyrics), this is a movie that has purely universal appeal. It’s simple, sweet fun, and it’s done so well that it’s better than most everything else that isn’t. Aardman Entertainment has long made me a fan with their easy-going, totally-sincere methods of making good characters and small-scale situations sing, and this is probably their best outing yet.

4. What We Do In The Shadows
I wanted to open with a joke about found footage being dead, but that seemed a bit much. A faux-documentary (that’s largely improvised) about vampires seems like a combination of every tired cliché and genre out there at this point, but dammit, this movie just sings. All the players involved, besides being outrageously funny guys, have a real knowledge and respect for old-school vampire lore, and put a real effort into making it show. The result is something that’s surprisingly sweet, despite how horrifyingly bloody the whole concept can be at times. It’s really just these group of guys, lost in a world they don’t quite belong in, and just doing what they can to get by. Also, it’s super funny. Did I mention that? Because I can’t stress it enough.

3. Inside Out
Pixar has done it again. They’ve taken something that has no business being the fodder for family entertainment, and made something that goes beyond more “serious” movies about the same topic. What are we? As individuals, I mean. Are we our emotions? Our memories? How do we change? Why would we ever want to? This movie gets through all that in ways that drive right to our very base emotions and provide lessons that never seem to get said all that much, if at all. It’s good to be sad, or to move on from happy memories, or even to move out of the comfort zone of what sort of person we are today in order to evolve into a better, more rounded, and generally more capable person tomorrow. Heavy stuff, but quite effective. In a year full of movies where the stakes are all of the end-of-the-world variety, it’s truly something that the most gripping plot of the year concerned us not wanting an 11-year-old girl to make a bad choice. Also Bing-Bong is wonderfully loveable that I can’t get enough of him.

2. The Martian
Movies that raise the spirits are fairly commonplace (and somewhat necessary in this grim world of our). But one that does it by way of the power of logical thinking, hard work, determination, and coming together with a better hope for our future? That’s something special, and that’s what we’ve got here. Anchored by a powerhouse performance by Matt Damon (who is equal parts warm, funny, endearing, and, yes, scared), this is a grand sci-fi tale that’s as grounded in reality as they come, and never lets that hold it back from being a real wonder to behold. This is humanity coming through in the clutch, with no stock villains or needless obstacles (the nature of the disaster provides all the necessary obstacles). No bad guys are needed, just a bunch of good guys doing really smart things, and doing them really, really well.

1. Mad Max: Fury Road
Surprise, surprise. A rousing tour de force of pure, high-octane cinema being my favorite movie of the year? How I stand out from the rest of the film community right now. But really, there’s no two ways about it here. A blistering example of all that blockbuster filmmaking can be, with so much attention, care, and craft shoved into every frame it’s something of a miracle it all flows as well as it does. It’s a movie that is the perfect example of the Show Don’t Tell school of thought, giving us a deceptively simple setting and batch of characters, and then flooding the screen with background details, hints, secrets, and motivations, all of which reflect upon and change the course of the story for everyone involved. It’s a lightning rod to the imagination in so many ways, and a sign that even in as cynical and cash-grab happy as the mainstream movie landscape is today, genuine creativity can still flourish. A tree-thing has risen in the desert, and it came in the form of a long-delayed sequel that builds up upon itself without resorting to simple nostalgia to do it. And I haven’t even mentioned the gorgeous cinematography, the ear-thumping soundtrack, the dizzying practical effects, The Doof Warrior… my favorite movie of the year and a new instant classic, that’s all there is to it. What a lovely day indeed.

And of course, the runner ups. The movies that almost were but weren't, and some that I know I liked a bit but in a way that'll fade over time, so I'd just regret it (more) if I put it on the actual list (such is the nature of me!).

Ant-Man
The Avengers: Age of Ultron
Bridge of Spies
Brooklyn
Carol
Creed
Krampus
Paddington
The Peanuts Movie
Sicario
Star Wars: The Force Awakens

So there it went. Au revoir, 2015. And welcome to you, 2016. Got high hopes for you. Please don't disappoint.

The lines have filtered out. The credits have rolled. The box office receipts have been tallied. The dust has settled.

A new Star Wars sequel has arrived. Which I'm now gonna spill some thoughts over. And also stay as spoiler free as possible, despite the fact that, statistically speaking, all of you has seen the movie twice by now.

It's been 30 years since the events of Return of the Jedi (re: my favorite of the original three. You heard me), and strife still exists in the galaxy far, far away. The evil First Order is making power sweeps from the Outer Rim, the Resistance is attempting to locate Luke Skywalker to help stop them, and on a distant desert planet that totally isn't Tatoonie-by-another-name, a young girl waits and waits for someone dear to her to finally return.

Such is the setup. To answer your first question, yes, the movie is far, far better than any of the prequel trilogy. To answer your second question, no, it isn't as good as any of the original trilogy. But it's still a solid fun time at the movies.

The fun comes in a few ways. For starters, the movie really nails its new crop of characters. Are leads are the aforementioned stranded desert girl, who's got a lot of power waiting to be unleashed, and a former stormtrooper on the run. Each has loads of charisma, a genuinely different backstory that sets them apart from just being "Here's the Luke expy, here's the Han expy" for the new generation, and I was quite taken with them by the end of the movie. Which still leaves the new villain to mention, and he's truly something else. The aspirations to be Darth Vader mixed with the struggle to control his own power, to find his own path beyond a towering family history, a struggle to bask in the Dark while still being drawn back to the Light, he is an absolutely fascinating character. He is truly unlike any character in the cinematic universe before him, a villain who can be both a menacing threat and a cowering child all at once (in a good way). He stops baster bolts in midair, he throws tempter tantrums when hearing bad news, he constantly searches for guidance to a destination he's not even sure about, and so much more. All together, these new characters establish that, at the very least, the next generation of fans really do have a new set of good guys and bad guys they can call their own. They can stand tall and proud next to the original cast lineup anyday.

Not that they need to stand that far apart. A sample size of folks from the older movies make appearances, some just as cameos and others as actual roles. The most present by far is Han Solo, who's essentially the third star of the movie and a big component of the plot. Harrison Ford is having a blast here, completely engaged and animated throughout in a performance that's his best in a good while. With him always is Chewbacca (who, quite frankly, has never been better), and the bickering and commentary running between the two are real highlights of the movie. In particular, most of the biggest laughs come out of Han trying something, and Chewy making some snide growl at the right moment. The best new original lines (of which there sadly aren't many) come from him as well.

In fact, there's lots of humor to be found. While some of it has a modern, too-self-aware/snarky tone that's present in all Blockbusters these days (a side effect of Marvel's rise to power), by and large it all works. The jokes are great, the character beats fit perfectly, and it's all really effective in sweeping us along in the fun tone that the movie has going for it. Because really, that's what counts here. This movie is fun. It's engaging, the plot moving along at a steady clip and never getting too bogged down. The action sequences, particularly an aerial chase with the Millennium Falcon and all things lightsaber duel-related, are very well put together and invigorating, though I was a bit let down at the lack of a real space battle sequence (apart from a short one in the beginning, which had character beats so enjoyably on-point that it almost made up for said earlier complaing). The effects are a fine mix of modern CGI and practical models, along with a good helping of physical makeup and puppetry, the sort of things that modern geeks love and everyone can agree looks great.

It's a mix of old and new, and that right there is also the movie's biggest flaw. Because when you get right down to what the story is presenting, you'll notice pretty quick that the whole affair is sticking uncomfortably close (both in structure and actual plot elements) to the original Star Wars. Droids on the run are hiding secrets, family ties are revealed, a sinister fascist-style enemy reveals the destructive power of an impossible weapon, and so on. Callbacks to the originals are constantly popping up, some as minor background details, others as scene-centering moments of pure fanservice. The movie never wants to break off too far and become its own thing, except when it finally does in a few key scenes, at which point the effect is somewhat jarring because we can't quite decide what the movie is trying to do. It needs to set up a new storyline and universe, but it doesn't want to stray far from what we all know and love. It's got a death grip on the nostalgia side of things that really does make us sometimes long more for a movie we've already seen rather than take in the new stuff we're watching right now. It's not nearly as egregious with piggybacking off greatness as, say, garbage like Jurassic World, but it

And then there's the plot elements that don't quite work. Plenty of comparisons have been made to director J.J. Abrams' earlier work, particularly his 2009 version of Star Trek, which had a lot of similar problems. Characters and important plot elements will end up really close to each other because they need to, and big problems will be quickly solved or brushed aside because it's time for that to happen. In fact, when you really stretch out and try to examine what's going on in the movie, a lot of stuff feels so thin as to fall apart right then and there. Abrams has long proven that he excels with casting, characters, and a quick and breezy action atmosphere, and that's definitely the case here. But he still can't nail down a story that can stand up to just a few tugs at the seams, nor can he break free of decades of past influences to make something that's really his (though at least he's finally made something worth watching more than once).

One area where I was truly let down was in the score. The score of the original trilogy (and even the prequels) cast long shadows, they being some of the most memorable and iconic pieces of orchestration ever assembled in motion picture history. You know the opening credits, the Imperial March, the Cantina song, the lightsaber duel... even lesser-known pieces like the Battle of Hoth and the Space Battle Over Endor (my two favorites of the series) are immediately called back to mind as soon as you hear them. The new movie, however, doesn't have any such pieces. It samples the iconic notes where appropriate, and what is present is definitely just fine and fitting for the scene at hand. Indeed, there's plenty to be said for it trying to flow with the movie and not be some big bombastic thing. But in a movie that's aping the originals in so many other ways, going soft (and, ultimately, forgettable) with the score seems such a strange decision.

But for all these flaws, I still had a great time. Which counts for a lot! Because in the end, it's a fun movie. It's a enjoyable movie. It's got its heart and soul in just the right place, and it keeps you grinning to the end. In so many ways, it's a good movie, the sort of good movie that we need right now. It is a course correction for the whole franchise, something that says "Everyone just chill out, let's ease down and try things again, serious this time." Standing on the shoulders of giants is never an easy task, and here we've got a new sequel to three movies that have defined a genre (and a moviegoing landscape) for decades now. To just be a great ride would've been enough, which is was. I bag on it for sticking so close to nostalgia, but there's some things that are just necessary. Sitting in a dark theater as the opening crawl gets going and that famous music starts is one of those things. Because the movie hit that atmosphere just right, and that is an atmosphere of Star Wars. This really feels like a Star Wars movie, and it's easy to forget what a magical thing that really is.

So it came and went. The positive points outweighed the negative ones, so the movie gets a friendly pass. It also leaves me eager and somewhat nervous for Episode VIII. Because by the time it rolls around, then it's time to get real. To really break free and be its own beast. To be a coherent piece of both character and storywork that manages to hold up, and not just be another glitzy popcorn thrillride. I know the series has the ability, I know the people making it have the talent. So I want to believe it'll turn into a movie that's more than half as good as something like The Empire Strikes Back.

Even though I'll also settle for more moments of BB-8 zipping around. Love that little droid so very, very much.

Well, that ends that quarter of school. I think I did reasonably well. Or at least well enough to keep going.

Meantime! It's three weeks (exactly, from today) of winter break. And I shall do my best to enjoy them! Because it's that time of year as well. The time when humanity at least pretends to like everyone, which is a step up from how we usually operate, so I'll take what I can get. The weather keeps getting chillier, the last of the We're Good Please Award Us For It movies are released, and we toss brightly colored gifts at each other. It's great! Me, I'll be spending my winter break reading up school stuff, finishing off the Discworld series (just 12 more books to go!), watching lots of movies, and generally hanging out with friends.

2015 has been a busy year for me. Lots of highs and lows, and a remarkable amount of personal learning experiences. Here's hoping I can wrap it up well and start 2016 off on the right foot.

Howdy howdy, fellow fuzzy-critter-peeps-who-read-my-journals. Time to get that old journal off my page. How you all been? As per usual, I've been something of a ghost lately. And that won't change for at least a few more weeks as this first quarter of school winds down. It's crunch time, after all. Still a boatload of reading to finish, drugs to memorize, policies and skills to really nail down, and every other little thing that comes up in school like this. Always busy, busy, busy, I am.

Of course, I'm still me, so naturally I've been taking what little free time I do have and hitting the movies. I have to. It is the way of things. Plus there's a lot of good stuff out at the moment, furthering my motivation. The offbeat-yet-cute The Good Dinosaur, the hyperrealistic-and-affecting Spotlight, the riveting and well-earned Rocky VII: Adrian's Revenge Creed, the generally outstanding Bridge of Spies, the utterly adorable The Peanuts Movie... and still plenty of exciting stuff yet to come. Thank goodness I've got a three week winter break, as I'll need it to catch up on everything big landing at the end of the year. And also finish all my fun reading (like getting through the rest of my Discworld collection), and hang out with friends, and generally do relaxed things. Not to mention upload this backload of art I've yet again been accumulating.

Then it's back on the saddle again for Q2 and all that comes with that. Like specialty rotations! It'll be time for me to scrub up, hit the OR, and shove a tube down someone's throat for real. No pressure.

In the meantime, like I said, I hope you're all doing well, and that 2015 is winding down in proper fashion. To those of you going to MFF, know that I envy you and wish I could be there, but the timing just wasn't happening this year. I hope you all have a wonderful time!

What more can I say? However you spend your day today, I hope you get some enjoyment out of it.

Best wishes of the season to you all!

Because one day just isn't enough.

It's the final week of October. The final few days before Halloween. Can you feel that wonderful energy in the air? I sure can. It's that proper time of the year, when the weather cools, the shadows grow, and the color orange is considerably more prevalent than usual. Anyone got big Halloween plans this year? Weather permitting, I'll be hitting up a big street festival down in Santa Cruz, as I have for the past few years, where I will suit up and frolic among thousands and thousands of other costumed party goers. Can't beat an atmosphere like that, nosir.

As expected, this has (and will continue to be) an otherwise low key Halloween season for me, and that'll continue into the remainder of the year. Paramedic school is keeping me plenty busy, with a nonstop barrage of stuff I gotta know, understand, and recall at the drop of a hat (or some other more medical device). I'm still there, and I'm managing alright so far (or so I like to think), but there's still so much more to go. Gotta hold on as best I can.

Related to that, I'm going to formally announce that I won't be at MFF this year. Much as it pains me, and much as I want to be there, my quarter final is the day after it ends, so that's just not timing I can work with. I hope all of you that go have an amazing con this year all the same! I'll make an effort to be there again in 2016.

Alright, that's all for now. Gotta get back to what I was doing, nose to the grindstone and all. Hope you all have a wonderful, spooky, candy-filled week!

It's Fall! The very first day of it. This matters to me, because Fall is my favorite season. The holidays (specifically Halloween, which still holds the title for Best Day Of The Year), the cooling weather, the crisp air, the chance of incoming rain (a very big chance this year, apparently), all of that. I'm gonna miss summer, especially since this year I had a pretty good one. Lotta fun times and activities. But now comes the time of the year to buckle down, because I've got school!

Yup yup, first day of Paramedic class was yesterday. Mostly intro and review stuff, so nothing outrageously difficult as of yet. Of course, that's subject to change as of tomorrow, when I hit my first pharmacology lecture. So let's see how long I can keep all this up. This will likely be the toughest schooling I've ever done, and will keep me fairly preoccupied for the next year or two. Hopefully I'll still be able to spare a tidbit of time on the side for my beloved movies and furries.

In the meanwhile, I wish a happy Fall to all of you! I hope your years are flowing right along at a good pace.

Alright, after talking it up almost a year ago, I've finally done it. I've sold off the last of my gaming systems. For the first time in nearly twenty years, I am without a gaming console in my life. It's a moment where I can really mark the end of a certain chapter in my life.

Have I given up gaming entirely and forever? No, of course not. At the very least, I'll always have a computer of some kind, and I've got a fine backlog of both old games and new Steam purchases to keep me busy (retro moment: over the past few days I've become unhealthily re-addicted to RollerCoaster Tycoon 2. Just get one perfect park down and I'm done, I swear!). But I've always been primarily a console gamer, so it certainly will be an activity on the backburner for a while. It isn't so much a lack of desire that's pushing me away, it's just that I simply don't have the life for it. Games are a bit time investment, after all. A movie I can be done with in a few short hours, and I'll always be able to fit in work, school, and social stuff where appropriate, but games needed a few too many chunks out of any given week to really get accomplished. Down the line, once I'm done with school especially, I'll probably pick up an Xbox One and get back into the swing of things a bit. But not now.

So that's that journal. Gave a little meaningless update and pushed my old one off the page, like a good filler journal should. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got some Folders to obsess about.

Has it always been like that? I think it has. Perhaps I forgot. But whatever the case, I suppose I'd better take advantage of that. Because I've had art just piling up all over the place for a few months now, and I need to show it off! So, as an FYI to you all, got a low-level art flood incoming.

Part of the reason for this flood, and for me writing this journal, is because some of the artwork is tied to a personal project of mine. I'm trying to get back into the habit of writing about movies more, or at least just writing in general. So, I grabbed a few commissions not of my character, but more of general concept ideas related to certain films, the idea being for each picture to capture a little of the essence of the movie. Then, I'd write a general piece on each movie, setting down some thoughts and analysis I have on each one.

A simple enough concept in theory, and I can definitely spill out lots of thoughts on most anything in my end, especially movies. I even picked movies where I have a bit more to say than usual. But as any writer out there has discovered, actually sitting down to write things out is a rather... arduous process. Ideas and lines I thought of in my head that sound so great the previous night are something of a haze by the time I get down to writing them, and then they don't seem to sing quite as well. And as time went on and on (I seriously had the first picture done nearly three months ago), the project seemed to mount, and that brought with it a little stress of its own. Which isn't exactly something I want to feel when it comes to a project that I decided to do all by myself for the fun of it.

Still, I kept at it, hacking away at things here and there. And now, after all this time, I'm finally all done. And, if I may quote a famous (and often improperly attributed) line, "I loathe writing, but love having written." It's a generally satisfying feeling to get all this written out, especially when it all adds up to over 10,000 words split between four articles. I haven't written that much since my last MLP FanFic, and that was years ago at this point.

Now, is what I've said actually worth the trouble to read? That is a question, isn't it. I wouldn't say I'm saying anything new or profound with regards to any of these movies. They've all been written about by other, better film writers to various degrees. One of them you'll likely find blurbs on in any halfway-decent modern film history book. For another, a movie site I frequent actually did an article on it roughly the same time I was making mine (an article I didn't read until I was done writing, to stay partial), and I've linked it in. It makes for a good compare/contrast between a professional writer and an enthusiastic writer, I think. At the very least, the pro is a heck of a lot more concise with what he's trying to say.

That'll be my biggest flaw there, for sure. I just keep writing and writing, likely repeating myself in multiple places while not making other ideas as clear as I could. What I've got now is, I think, the best I can do with it, but I'm not much of a self-editor (who is?), so they're fat bricks that could be trimmed. Or maybe I'm being too hard on myself. I'm in no position to say at this point.

So! I'm just gonna upload everything and see what you all think. The dozen or so of you who make it through what I've written, I hope you like what you read! Whatever you do think, please do drop me some feedback or counter-thoughts, because that's the sort of thing I would love love love to hear. And even if you don't want to slog through my crazed ramblings (which is exactly what they are, when you get down to it), then I hope you at least enjoy the art, because there's some good stuff in there. I'm very proud of it all.

Wooo... how's that for a period of radio silence.

I've been around on this site multiple times a day as per usual, but wow... haven't said anything in ages! Gotta change that.

I do have something biggish coming soon, but that's for the future.

For now, time to raise a little awareness:

 pleistocene is doing commissions!

I've been friends with this individual for a while now, and they do good work. Great work, even. The sort of remarkably unique and wonderful art that occasionally pops up on this site and really stands out in all the right ways. So go give them a look! And also some money! Because not only is the price right, but they're offering some discounts on things to boot.

Check it all here: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/6963352/

Over the past few days (nearly a week, actually: early Wednesday morning to late Sunday night), I attended San Diego Comic Con. This is my sixth year attending, and fourth in a row. As is the case every year, it was a completely overwhelming experience that I loved to pieces and that I couldn't possibly hope to explain in detail. So read on as I try to do just that anyway.

The first, important note: I was sick the whole time. Remarkably sick. More sick than I've been in years, even. I could feel it coming on early Tuesday morning, and just knew it was going to peak over the course of the Con. And I was right! A chest cold, which gave way to a sore throat, which in turn gave way to a head cold, and with a nasty cough that stuck with all three. I endured the con well enough, though I admit, more than once it was causing me some frustration. Usually when I was trying to talk to someone (especially some awesome artist I admire) and I had the pause the conversation every few minutes so I could point my head at the ground and have a violent coughing fit. I'm still sick now, but at least I think I'm at the point where my body is finally recovering. Gonna be a few more days before I know for sure, though.

I also apologize to my roommates at this con, as I most certainly got each of them sick.

Oh yeah, roommates! My compatriots at the con, as has been the case in the past, were the ever-wonderful  zarafa,  calico, and  dreamcastfox. Having them around always makes the con that much more fun and exciting, and I was really happy to spend more time with them. Even if Zarafa ditched us on Friday to head off to some snuggle party across the country. But, I digress. Onto the con itself.

I arrived in San Diego Wednesday afternoon, after nearly having a physical breakdown on the plane thanks to the aforementioned sickness (not a lot of times in my life I've put serious consideration to the idea "I wonder what would happen if I just stood up, vomited everywhere, and dramatically fainted in the aisle..."). For the first time ever, I'd managed to score tickets to Preview Night, which is basically an extra three hours of con time on Wednesday evening. It let me get a better layout and handle on the exhibition hall floor before Thursday, and as a result the whole Con went that much smoother.

It's a bit difficult to explain the Con as a whole, really. I'd say 75% of it was spent with me just wandering around the massive exhibition hall. Thousands of booths spread out across the whole convention center, with every conceivable geek property represented in some way. Comics, movies, books, games, anime, cartoons, artists, shirts, and everything in between, and then every one of those another three times over. All the while, a good 120,000+ folks are wandering around with you. Every known demographic is here, and the cosplay folks go from the well-known properties (sooooo much Fury Road and Steven Universe this year) to stuff slightly more obscure (I certainly wasn't expecting someone to do this as a cosplay. I loved it). Many times in the past I've referred to Comic Con as the Geek Mecca, and I still can't think of a better way to put it.

Outside of floor wandering, I managed plenty of other fun activities. I got into the panels for both Gravity Falls and Rick & Morty (the latter thanks entirely to Streaks), and each of them was a blast of a time. The show staff who showed up were totally enthusiastic, and the short clips of upcoming episodes I saw from each show left me super excited. I also managed to get to a smaller panel that talked about the state of modern horror (specifically how there's a lot of amazing stuff that's come out over the past few years, and almost all of it being on a much smaller scale than most movies) that was really interesting. And also Elijah Wood showed up to that one, and was as charming and adorable as ever (he's so tiny!).

What else, what else? There's the ten or so sketches I got in my sketchbook, and the two Mondo posters I managed to snag (for Ant-Man and Crimson Peak), and all the other con swag and comics and books and posters and whatnot I accumulated. Then there's all the artists! Beyond the ones who I got sketches from, including the amazingly wonderful Tracy Butler of Lackadaisy Cats, I was able to chit-chat with a whole host of immensely talented people of all sorts of mediums. Special shout-out goes to poster artist Jay Shaw, who was very friendly and who I've been meaning to meet for years. And then there's just the random folk I met in the many, many lines, all of whom proved nice and interesting in their own way. And also dozens upon dozens of other things that I can't immediately draw to mind, because it was such a full five days that I'm still just trying to get my head wrapped around it all myself. Great cons are like that.

Because it was a great con! It can be hard to really explain the "appeal" of Comic Con, especially once those aforementioned crowds and lines-upon-lines are brought up. And it's true, the absurd crowd levels, long wait times, and obscene price-gouging ($2.25 for a single banana!? Are you insane!?) certainly paint the picture of an event that is far more trouble than it's worth. The stress brought on by the event and the need to do a dozen things each day (some of which are scheduled at the same time) just compounds as the hours tick by. Then there's the need to get up at the crack of dawn to get in line to really have a chance to get anything, and then there's trying not to destroy your back carrying all your swag around all day, and then there's trying not to bankrupt yourself in the process, and then there's all sorts of other little problems that find new and exciting ways to rear their heads over the weekend (like getting a sunburn over your face and neck because you didn't even think about sunscreen until you've stood in line for an hour in the midday sun).

And yet... it still just works. It's an atmospheric thing, I believe. An almost palpable buzz in the air that you're at the center of the collective geek hive mind. You're surrounded by all these like-minded people and all these amazingly cool sights and items, all in this massive pop culture bubble. For a few days, your world is a few square miles of San Diego, and in that time everything just feels a bit more interesting. A bit more weird and cool and fun and everything else. We all feel it at Furry cons, this is just that amplified in various ways and to an extreme degree.

I really love going to Comic Con. I've been going all these years for that very reason, and each year I find more and more things I love about it. I hope to go again next year, provided that the ticket Gods once again smile down on me. And I hope as many of my friends as possible are able to go as well, because this is the ultimate geek social event, and friends make it that much better.

For now, another one has gone by. Now I'm back into the real world, adjusting to it as best I can. I've been fairly out and about over the past few weeks, as my previous journals have indicated, and that all ends today. Now, it's time for a quiet stretch of nothing. I start Paramedic School two months from tomorrow, and from there my life will likely get considerably busier. So between now and then, I just want to hang with friends, watch movies, and generally take every little thing as easy as possible.

Except when ticket sales for next year roll around, of course. Then it's time to get my game face on.

That was one heck of a 72-hour stretch (well, more or less). So much so that I'm going to talk about a little bit here! So settle in.

Friday, after a rather dull day at work, I headed up to San Francisco with a gaggle of other furries to go to a club. A regular club for once, unlike our usual spot of The Stud where we have Frolic every month. This one had a special event where, among the many acts performing, Andrew W.K. (he of Party Hard fame and all-around Pinkie Pie lover) was DJing a late-night set. And he wanted furries around! Dude loves us fuzzy people.

So, we all went and partied it up. It was a really neat club, quite spacious even though only about half of it was open for this particular event. The club made us feel right at home, giving us a truly enormous changing space downstairs that made all suiting-related preparations a breeze. As the crowd was by and large normal people (the sort who hit a club on a Friday night, even), we certainly stood out, and we all got a lot of love. Folks got tons of pictures, danced with us, and generally shared in the frivolity. For my part, it was rather interesting to be surrounded by all these regular individuals. I'm caught in my strange little bubble so often that I actually don't really know what normal really "is" (in the majority sense, I mean), so this was really something. If nothing else, it taught me that a) I really know diddly-squat about popular R&B, Hip-hop, and non-EDM club music, and b) unlike me, most people genuinely know how to dance.

The real highlight of the evening came at the end of the night, when Andrew took the stage. After a rousing opening set of Party Hard that got the crowd amped up, all us suiters were invited to come up and dance on stage. Which we did, to great excess and to great appreciation by all present. Really, it's kinda hard to put into text what this felt like, since it was truly incredible. Even after I accepted the fact that my random flailing probably wasn't passing for decent dancing for the hundreds and hundreds of spectators, it was still a ton of fun to be rocking it up on stage, flanked by awesome suiters and listening to rocking music. Definitely a unique experience in my life, and I'm not sure it'll ever be equaled.

Thank goodness someone filmed it, because I can still hardly believe it (observe my pitiful attempts to keep to the rhythm and weep): https://twitter.com/dinAlt_J/status.....12624536375296

I was up on stage for about 40 minutes. A bunch of regular folks joined us shortly after we got on, which did mean I had to fight for stage space a few times. But it was all in good fun, and there was plenty of that to go around.

So that was Friday! I had to limp home after all was said and done, totally drained and exhausted after so much suiting. But there was hardly any time for sleep, because Saturday was the big day: Fourth of July! And I was hosting a BBQ.

I've done BBQ's at my place twice before, but this one kind of blew my expectations away. I ended up with somewhere between 70 and 80 furs milling around my house from around 1:30 in the afternoon all the way until the final stragglers headed to bed around 4AM. I tend to fret quite a lot when I host, and spent a good deal of the day worrying that everyone wasn't having a good time. But that's mostly me being me, as by all accounts everyone had a great day/night, and the whole affair was generally a great success. Lots of chatting, suiting, eating, watching fireworks, marshmallow roasting, and generally more chatting. I'm really happy so many folks could come, and even more happy they had a good night. I don't know how much longer I'll be living at home, but I'm hoping I can squeeze in one final BBQ before I'm gone.

And then came Sunday, which was as lazy as it was supposed to be. After a long morning cleaning the house and stuffing all my trash cans as full as they could manage, I just flopped onto the couch and chilled. Played some video games, watched a movie (it had been entirely too long since I was swept away by the majesty of Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World). It was just the right way to end the weekend, and even having the misfortune to sit through the lost slog that is Terminator: Genisys couldn't sour my mood.

So: good holiday weekend.

Now just two quiet days. Nothing special today or tomorrow.

But then comes Comic Con.

Won't that be something...

Got the date right and everything this time. And it sure is a pretty day outside to justify it.

To say nothing of the rest of the summer! I intend to make it a good one. Because school is now over for me, my last final slipping by yesterday morning. Did I do well on it? Likely not. Physiology continues to be a big heaping case of "not my bag at all" in a way I'd never really encountered before.

But for once, I didn't stress. Because earlier in the week I found that I got accepted into the Paramedic program I applied to. I'm rather ecstatic about that. And also rather terrified. Little of both really, though sometimes one of those emotions tips over the other. At any rate, the program starts in September, and once it does start, that's going to be my life for a while (and if it's not I'm doing something wrong).

So! I've got a summer to relax, be social, and generally be frivolous. Gotta use that to my advantage. The immediate next few weeks are still a bit of a crunch, like my previously discussed journal. But the fun part of the crunch now! Every little thing going to be a ton of fun. I can't wait for it all to happen, and I hope each and every one of you has a fantastic summer as well.

Also, everyone go see Inside Out straight away. One of Pixar's finest achievements, and a much, much better new release alternative to the utterly disappointing Jurassic World.

Like the title says. The next month and change is going to be a rather busy time for me. But mostly for good reasons!

Not good reasons right away, of course, as the next two weeks have finals for my anatomy and physiology class. To say I've been struggling in this class is to be very charitable, so I've got to buckle down and get to it to get decent grades on these exams and claw my way out of the quarter with an acceptable grade. Not that I won't be making time for Jurassic World, a John Cusack double feature and Frolic this week, of course. Gotta stick to my principles.

But then school will be over! At about which time I'm off with my family for a quickie vacation at the beach. Which I haven't done in a good long while, and I think I could use it. Then it's right back a few days before the Fourth of July, at which point I'm hosting yet another one of my house BBQs. Folks around here seem to enjoy these things whenever I hold one, so hopefully this one goes off without a hitch.

Then, scarcely half a week later, the big one rolls in: San Diego Comic Con, and the geek swarm that comes with that. It's so close already I can almost feel that convention center air conditioning and see those wallet-sucking prices, and I just can't wait.

Finally, after all that, there's... nothing, really. The remainder of my summer is without a plan, one to be spent actually just relaxing, seeing friends, watching movies, and doing whatever else comes my way. This will last in a lazy sort of way until the fall, when the hardest round of schooling I've ever faced may or may not begin (it's still pending, though an answer should present itself this week, if only to further up the wonderful stress in my immediate future). Which is my kind of summer, frankly.

This year's been a weird one for me so far, and not always in the best way. This summer should make for a nice counterbalance, then. Here's hoping the summers for the rest of you all go swimmingly as well!

Yes, as Spring wraps up, the time has come to look on ahead to-

Wait, summer is still a month away.

Oh.

One of these days I'll really have to buy myself a calendar.

Anywho, I can still make this journal, because the coming time period will be first busy and not busy for me. At the moment I'm wrapping up a final quarter of school, which is its own set of difficulties. Mostly because the class itself is kicking my tail (lousy physiology), but I'll manage it in the end. I always do. Beyond that I've got general friend outings, a possible BBQ to plan, a big commission project to really get started on, a pilgrimage trip down to San Diego for Comic Con, and a fine assortment of general summer wanderings to occupy my time until September, when I may or may not have a long round of super-intense and super-important schooling to get rolling on. And also possibly moving out. And on top of all that I really need to get a handle on my mind, because that's been idling every which way as of late and rather starting to get on my nerves. But that's another matter.

Enough about me, though. How are the rest of you doing? I mean, I certainly have no genuine content to make a journal about, but I still wanna hear from all of you. Anyone got summer plans they're getting ready for?

So, Biggest Littly FurCon happened. I drove up Thursday, returned last night. Haven't had a break like this since MFF, and this one was actually a bit longer, so I really haven't had a break like this since last year's BLFC. One long weekend. And it was quite a weekend at that! So much so I think I'll actually attempt, if not a usual con wrap-up journal (because I'll be skimming some stuff and putting entirely too much effort into other stuff), then at least some kind of thought dump on the whole affair. I'll make it as legible as possible, and then sit back to let FA's formatting undo all my hard work. So strap in!

In short, it was quite likely the most enlightening weekend of my life.

In length, I left early Thursday on the road up to Reno, stopping briefly to pick up a  vertanir. He made for good travel company, and not just because of his fine audiobook selection. Having recently made the headfirst dive into Discworld and all things Pratchett, I opted to listen to the one for Good Omens, which is an utterly outstanding book. One of my big weekend regrets is that the ride up and back wasn't long enough to finish it (only got to the start of the Saturday section), so I'll have to pick it up and read the rest myself.

Eventually, after a lovely drive through the Sierras that reminded me yet again how utterly gorgeous it is up there, we arrived at the Grand Sierra Resort in Reno, and it was out into the con we went. Over the course of the day folks trickled in, including my roommates  zarafa and  lunabellefox, and a general gaggle of other fuzzy friends like  inashne117,  ashkewoof,  iauwv,  amenophis, and oodles and oodles more I love just as much but can't really fit into this journal via icon. It was a reasonably chill day that mostly consisted of everyone settling into place and the con getting into gear.

Thursday night also involved a whole dozen of us, including the wonderful  slyknuxdragon (who I essentially conscripted out of the reg line) trooping out to watch Mad Max: Fury Road. Which totally blew me away and which I will likely write a journal about soon, because it really is amazing.

The con itself kicked off Friday, and things between then and Sunday get pretty frantic, really. It's pretty well established at this point that BLFC is about as furry cons get, after all. The layout of the con, the hard work of the staff, the location, how it mixes furries with so many gawking-and-curious normal people, all the extra fun activities offered in the hotel, and so on. My only complaints this year were the changed location of the Artist's Alley and the weirdly late scheduling of both the fursuit parade and the dance competition, but beyond that, this one's just aces. Everyone should go if they get the chance.

Going day-by-day seems a bit much, but at the same time, so many highlights to get to! There was the con's utter commitment to the Dystopian theme (down with Biggest Little Big Brother!), there was doing the sky swing in suit after some egging on by  coreshot,  millennius, and  quentincoyote, there was getting sketch commissions that are all now highlights in my book, there was racing around on the tricycles in the newly expanded dealer's den, there was discovering it was possible to eat entirely too much pizza in one sitting, there was generally wandering around the con space in and out of suit and taking so long to get anywhere because I stopped every few feet to say hi to someone else I knew, there was staying out every night and watching the con get progressively drunker and looser, there was getting mistaken for  nightcoon91 so many times I'm conviced there's some grand conspiracy out there to drive me crazy (look at the hair, people! The hair!), and there was even a quick discovery of the delightful single-night edition of Werewolf.

But wait, there's still more! Because I didn't mention hopping around all the various room parties on Saturday night, and then seeing them all get shut down one by one due to noise complaints or drunks out in the halls (no finer way for a party to end, really). Or dancing it right out each night in suit to some awesome music and much-improved bass (no more falling light fixtures this year). Or meeting totally awesome new people like  saffronaut or  durj. Or getting to know people I sorta knew before, like the super creative  moopdrea. Or getting an overload of commission ideas I'll have to try and implement down the line. Or all the other totally amazing people I encountered and interacted with that I desperately wish I could include here, but can't, because then this already-overstuffed-and-bloated journal would just be a sea of icons that far exceeds what this site can handle. And in general there was just so much aimless wandering in a setting completely jam-packed with close friends, awesome furries, and all other assortment of party animals that make any kind of fur con that outrageously special slice of life-outside-reality.

All that would be enough for any weekend, but what of the enlightenment? I'm certain I mentioned it being an enlightening weekend for me. Because it really was! The why of it all, though, is even trickier to explain, mostly because it involves me talking about myself. Which, frankly, I don't do, partially out of preference and partially because explain me, I find, is like describing every angle of a multi-colored cube you've just discovered and can only see one face of. But, to keep things from being too vague, this weekend had me having somewhat of a real revelation as to how I see myself, both on my own and in relation to others. The con was more incidental to this, as it was a long-term collection of observations and actions (and the consequences therof). on my part that all just happened to coincide at some point right in the middle of the con. What was con-relevant was more a quick glimpse of different paths of my life all diverting wildly; to paraphrase Jingo, it was like getting a glimpse at the Trousers of Time. I was in one leg briefly in sight of the other until it all fell away. Which, at that particular moment, felt like getting hit by a mass of tidal waves coming from all sides. A rough moment, to be charitable. But that's okay! Because that's what personal progress needs! It's a matter of me truly appreciating the magnitude about how I've always figured I felt about myself, and what this all truly means for my future.

I'm an odd fellow sometimes, I'll admit. I can be flaky, shifty, contradictory, and generally spacey. I only see the long-term, and try to plan accordingly, which tends to make a mess of the immediate. I go out of my way to shape a particular path in my life, and even further out of my way to try and do something similar for others, because I'm an irritable control freak like that. It's all coming down to me trying to know my place in the world, only to discover it's what I always thought it was and what I've actually needed to be doing is really coming to terms with that and the emotional aspect of it. Which is all still super-vague and confusing to anyone reading this who's not me and will likely get worse as I stick to my usual habit of carfully dodging all probing questions, but here we are. I am me and always will be.

Gonna be a bright future with that in mind, I tell you what 8)

So, that all happened. It was quite a con like that. Leaving yesterday morning was tough, what with all the goodbyes and my head still swimming from this and that and all of the above. But a long drive tends to do a body good, especially when it's in good surroundings, with good company, and with Good Omens coming out of my car speakers.

As something of a footnote, Monday night involved me going straight from the con to San Francisco. Partly to pay a visit to the ever-wonderful  Meerk, though mostly because I had a concert to go to that night at the Warfield. I saw Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds, headed by the fellow who used to lead Oasis (my favorite band). Now, I'm not really the concert-going type, in that I can count the amount I've been to in my life on one hand. But Noel Gallagher is my favorite musician ever by a fairly healthy margin, so this was definitely something I was going to take a trek out too. And it rocked my socks off. Noel sounded fantastic (and took plenty of opportunities to have fun with everyone and chat with the crowd), my seat was pretty great, my fellow attendees were all super enthusiastic fans, and the whole event was very well put together. He had a good tracklist of both new stuff and some old Oasis classics (he did Champagne Supernova! And The Masterplan! And even Digsy's Diner!), and it put me in a great place. From what he played, I do need to give special notice to a few: his stripped-down performance of Fade Away (which nearly made me cry), his blistering performance of You Know We Can't Go Back (which did make me cry), and his closing performance of Don't Look Back In Anger (which will always be the perfect closing track). The three of them together would've been great any night, but all that after the weekend I had and the feelings I was having, it was just so damn fitting it almost doesn't seem real.

Howdy hey all!

Next week, as you all well know, is BLFC. I'm excited. You're excited. We're all excited. Exciting times, basically.

And now for even more excitement! A lovely buddy of mine,  ashkewoof, is offering massages this year to a select number of attendees. The dude is a massage therapist who knows his stuff, something I can attest to, as can several buddies of mine who have lived a lot of their lives with awful backs (a lot of furries seem to have bad backs, come to think of it). They're $140 a pop, and I can assure you, that's worth every penny (and very likely to go over 90 minutes as well, since he's the sort who doesn't stop until he feels the job is done).

Keep those crummy "happy ending?" jokes to yourself and check out more info here: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/6720011/

That is to say, this: https://twitter.com/RelaxingDragon1

I imagine the regret will hit me anytime. Until then, I've got to try and figure out this site. And also how to be clever quickly, which isn't the strong suit of someone who needs to ramble on long enough that everyone just assumes what I'm saying is intelligent and drowns out the actual specifics with so much white noise.

As the very merry month of May looms near, and the rest of FA continues to deal with the terror that is the new sidebar (it's just terrible, that is), it seems like the time is right for me to bust out a new journal. One with a meme, no less, because Biggest Little FurCon is just around the corner, and the time to really start getting excited is now. So let me get to it, with this series of questions.

I have edited out the artist-centric questions, because I've officially run out of jokey "But-seriously-I'm-not-an-artist" answers.

Where are you staying?
The Grand Sierra Resort. It's a good hotel and I look forward to returning.

What day are you getting there?
I arrive at some point Thursday afternoon.

How are you traveling?
Gonna drive myself! I've never driven over the Sierras before, so this will be fun.

Who will you be rooming with?
 Zarafa and  lunabellefox. And also  meerk, if we can find a way to get his skinny tail up to Reno.

How is the best way to find you?
Just look for the Raccoon. The good one.

Are there any panels you might be attending?
Probably nothing beyond the dance competition and the nightly dances. Maybe one other random one will perk my interest, but by and large I don't do cons for the panels.

What do you look like?
Skinny white guy with glasses. I should be easy to locate.

Will you be suiting?
You better believe it. If you ever see a slim, gangly, six-foot raccoon with blue hair, be sure to give it a nice hug.

What is your gender?
Who ordered these questions? Should I have reordered them? Probably.

Can I talk to you?
By all means! I need to meet more new people at these cons, and the best way to do that is via conversations! Conversations that I'm just awful at initiating, of course, so here's hoping things go smoothly if I start to talk to you.

Can I touch you?
Keep it reasonable and I don't see why not.

Can I visit your room?
It's not my room! It belongs to a Giraffe! And you know how they are.

Can I buy you drinks?
Knock yourself out. It's your money! Sure, I won't actually drink them, but it's the thought that counts.

Can I give you stuff?
Who am I to refuse free things?

Can I hug or snuggle with you?
Hugs are always acceptable. What would this fandom be without hugs? Anything past that, though, prepare for disappointment.

Are you nice?
Oiy, I hope so.

Will you be going to parties?
If I can find them! I only ever seem to know about the advertised ones, like the massive two-room one that's always held. Beyond that, pass the word along! This Raccoon may be awkward at parties, but he still needs to get to them!

If I see you, how should I get your attention?
Shouting various forms of my name usually works. As does throwing things, but this method is frowned upon.

Where will you be most of the time during the day(s)?
Wandering about here and there. Maybe the dealer's hall, maybe the hallways of the lower level, maybe even outside. But I'll always be out and about during con hours!

What/where will you be eating?
I haven't a clue. That's the sort of thing I always decide on the day of, with very little pre-planning.

Can I come with you for food/fun/etc?
Probably! I usually go with groups anyway, and one more is always welcome, provided we can fit them at my table.

Can I look in your sketchbook?
Please do! Art needs to be shown off, and I'm always happy if someone else takes an interest.

Can I draw in your sketchbook?
Hopefully! Just speak to me first, please. I'm rather picky about what goes where in my book.

Can I take your picture?
If I'm suiting, then absolutely, provided you share said pics with me later. If I'm not suiting, then best not, but only because I look absolutely awful on camera when I'm out of suit.

What's your goal(s) for the con this year?
Lots and lots of furry fun! And also seeing Mad Max: Fury Road on Thursday night. I won't be missing my most anticipated movie of the year no matter where I am, that's for sure 8)

And that's that. Hope to see lots of you up in Reno in a few weeks!

Hey, it's my FA Anniversary (Furriversary?) today. I joined the site exactly seven years ago today. I'd really gotten into the fandom about a year before that, bouncing around various forums and other art sites before finally settling in here.

Heck of a thing, that. Look at me now :P

As of late, I've found myself going through my Watch list more and more. Usually just in a flurry of random clicks until I've got a dozen-plus random tabs open, trying to get a better handle on the many hundreds of FA members that I'm watching. This has led to a lot of -Watches recently, for a number of reasons, and it's been a somewhat fascinating trip through memory lane all the same.

With some level of frequency I've come across folks who have outright deactivated their page. Others have wiped it clean, without so much as a journal or profile blurb left. Still others left a small journal up explaining that they were leaving and why (all three of these seem to primarily originate in the great Weasyl migration from about a year back, but still other folks' departure predates even that). In every case, I'm left searching my brain, trying to figure out exactly who these people were and what sort of art they had.

Then there are folks who just plain stopped posting years and years ago. Did they tire of this site? Of the drama? Of the fandom in general? Or had their lives simply moved on to other things, and there was no ill will left behind. Still others are still somewhat around, but I can't for the life of me remember why I was watching them in the first place, because they either have art I don't care for or I just have no idea who they are (I imagine more than a small percentage of the folks watching me probably feel the same way).

It's strange, thinking about how long I've been on this site. It's considerably longer than I ever think, leaving always somewhat surprised at just how long I've been doing the Furry thing. And then I get to thinking about so many others that have been doing all this for so much longer.

I imagine I'll continue skulking about my watchlist. No sense keeping the number so high for so many dead pages and unnecessary clutter in my inbox. Some folks I'll likely find and instantly miss, too. Still, for all that's transpired over the past three-quarters of a decade, I dig this site, and I'm glad it's still around and folks are using it. I'm certainly constantly finding new people around here, and I imagine that'll continue for as long as the site is active.

Ponies. Ponies everywhere. As far as the eye can see, a varied mixture of pegasi, unicorns, earth ponies, alicorns, OCs, and whatever else turns up to create some sprawling rainbow-colored vortex of fun and smiles.

That's the weekend I'm expected to experience, at least. Because starting tomorrow, it's time for BABSCon, the local Brony con right here in the Bay Area. This particular con is going to be extra special for me, because it'll be the first time ever that I'm going to a con in a staff position! I've long been curious about trying behind-the-scenes work at a con to help out, but at most cons I'm just too busy with myself to do so. However, Brony cons tend to be panel-based, and while that's all well and good, I'm not much of a panel guy. So now I have something to better occupy my time during the day, leaving plenty of time left in the mornings, evenings, and night to grab some sketches and party down.

This year is an even bigger deal for all us bronies, because MLP:FIM season 5 premiers this Saturday morning! I for one an absolutely looking forward to ending this nearly year-long hiatus and ringing in the latest episode while surrounded by thousands of fans and a good chunk of the show staff. No better way to see a premier, frankly.

So! That's my weekend. There will be excitement, and suiting, and art, and frolicking, and general fun. But mostly, there will be ponies.

Wooooooo... season change.

By way of an actual explanation, have a stream-of-consciousness paragraph regarding what all I've been up to since my previous journal many moons ago:

Learned that my parents plan to put the house on the market in the near future, thought about throwing a BBQ, was very let down by Jupiter Ascending but saw potential in the background universe it introduced, was much more impressed by Spongebob: Sponge Out Of Water, decided to throw a BBQ, had to start dealing with a large house cleaning effort, struggled through my Anatomy and Physiology class, puttered right along at work, threw a BBQ that everyone seemed to enjoy, gradually realized I wasn't as online as much as I should've been, had a bone to pick with some of the Oscar results, laughed my tail off at What We Do In The Shadows, began serious preparations for both BABSCon and BLFC, was reasonably charmed by Focus even though it's ultimately just a shameless riff of both Charade and The Sting, started doing a little better in Anatomy and Physiology, continued puttering along at work, continued cleaning the house, continued doing various social things with various wonderful people, was greatly let down by the tonally-confused mess that is Chappie, finally got around to seeing the stellar remake of Little Shop of Horrors, realized that I'm actually on staff for BABSCon so I should probably start prepping for that as well, was totally charmed by the wonderful new Cinderella, began making more serious preparations for Comic Con, listened to every Beatles song ever thanks to a very kind friend, finally saw Bound and noted how the Wachowskis had such a distinct set of sensibilities down from the beginning, made attempts to get into the habit of watching more Criterion films on Hulu starting with The Night Porter, had vague glimpses of several possible futures in my life and tried to sort out what they all mean, sort of enjoyed Run All Night but realized that Neeson did better work in the similarly-veined A Walk Among The Tombstones, caught up on a bunch of classics like The Seven Year Itch, Stalag 17, Z, High Sierra, Breakfast at Tiffany's, and Rififi, had to take every single thing out of my room so as to let the carpet get cleaned, was decidedly unimpressed by The Gunman and its attempts to turn The Constant Gardener into a low-rent action movie though still appreciated how that got me back in the mood for more Le Carre in my life, began making more serious plans for medic school and a moving out of home, still puttered around in work and life, was pretty gripped by '71 even though it also reminded me I have't seen Bloody Sunday yet, had a brief documentary kick with the ballsy The Ambassador, the weirdly compelling The War Room, and the historically distressing Hearts and Minds, enjoyed the brief little bit of rain we managed to get while still trying not to think about how much hotter, dryer, and generally more miserable the planet's climate is going to get from here, very nearly finished up Silent Hill 3, finished strong in my Anatomy and Physiology class but still ended up less than a percentage point away from the grade I wanted, was deeply disturbed and creeped out by It Follows, introduced a group of friends to Rear Window and was then introduced to the delightful adaptation of Noises Off!, possibly found a good set of future roommates maybe, discovered Deliverance was so much more than just banjos and squealing pigs, began falling back into my usual cycle of "plan out things in the future for no particular reason", remembered that it had been far too long since I did an FA journal or forum post on a different forum, and now here I am.

Oh, and a bunch of other stuff happened, too.

Hope you're all doing well. I know I am.

For Christmas, my brother gave me some pretty awesome gel pillows. They are squishy and comfortable and generally huggable, all the things a bed needs. But they are also just the pillow, so they need cases, for both aesthetic and hygienic reasons. Being the special unique snowflake that I am, just buying a few standard cases from the store won't do, because I'm shooting for something a bit more unique. And also because store bought ones tend to be really plain and dull.

However, etsy doesn't seem to have what I'm after either, at least when it comes to Raccoon-themed cases (there's hardly enough Raccoon-themed anything out there, but that's another matter). What little they do have to offer doesn't fit the size of pillow that I have, either (they're approximately 16"x 22"x 3").

So, I'm wondering if you people can help me out here. Just looking for a place (or individual! Like, someone on this site even) who takes commissions for these sorts of things. Fabric commissions, I guess they would be. Ideally the sort that works as a pillowcase, and is machine-washable. If someone could direct me to such a someone else, I'd be very much appreciative.

Another day, another artist recommendation. Which means another artist that you all are definitely going to want to check out.

Today, I speak of  tumorhead

Pictures are worth a thousand words, so I'll just leave some links to his work here:
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/11609648/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/13640965/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/15575257/

Picked your jaw off the floor? Good.

In recent times, this fellow's fallen on a something resembling hard times, financially-speaking. Details [url=http://www.furaffinity.net/view/15575155/[/url], but in short, he's having a 24-hour commission-a-thon LiveStream on Tuesday, January 27. Come one, come all, give to someone who could use it and get four times your money's worth in the process. You won't be disappointed.