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Hatchday 28
Posted 5 years agoYay! I'm older again, woot! Now I've gotten around the sun again. Getting good at it I suppose? Anyhow, should be a good day. I took a week off work and have plenty of time to chill and play games and hang out with my boyfriend. Having a good ole time. :P
Update? Checking in.
Posted 6 years agoNew journal for the sake of bumping the old one off my front page. Really working on being more positive now that I have a new job at work, and finally got off nightshift for the first time in like 5 years. Trying to constantly improve myself and be a better person for myself and others I suppose. Slow going so far. Will likely update eventually.
Life sucks, but is slowly getting better.
Posted 7 years agoWhat is there to say, things haven't been great. Horrible? Well never really that bad, but still, less that stelar. While I'm no longer working 12 hour days at the post office constantly, I am still working 50 hour weeks, 10 hours a day. It's a LOT better than constant 12's, that's for sure. But I'm still trying to recover from months and months of never having time to do anything because of constant 12 hour work days days with some weeks going 6 days in a row with one day off between weeks.
I can barely remeber what I used to like to do with my time. When i try and do what I always used to do (play video games, watch shows, browse the interent, or work on creative projects) I am just not satisfied. Why is that. I have a decent income, so that's good, I am moved back in with my parents, so that sucks ass, my fiancee and I are still living separately and he's been stuck with his abusive mother and sisters for a long time so that's fucking irritating and stressful, and I'm depressed cuz I struggle to find meaning day to day when the one person i always used to wanna talk to just talks about how miserable he is now and needs me to comfort him and reassure him.
Meanwhile I'm stuck dealing with months of built up depression and anxiety by myself, especially as I am still not 100% confirmed to keep this job yet as I am going through a second 90 day probation period untill the end of July and I'm just not happy with how life is in general. My daya to day existance is stable , and fuctional, but I'm not thriving in it, I'm just drowing my unhappiness and dissatisfaction in buying small nice things and trying to work towards little future goals while trying to build towards posting more self made content on my AD twitter, as I wanna meet more rubber inclined furs out there.
Lately though, I haven't used my gear that much, cuz I've been focused on finally making myself a unique fursona (scalesona) instead of cannibalising the design of one of my own OC's since I could never figure out what could possibly represent me. Idk, I want too many things at once and a lot of the things I want have a lot of work laid out in front of me to get them. Like moving into my own place that I can both afford and still live comfortably in without having to have 5 roommates. Or getting refs of my new sona (who's design I'm still mostly clueless about), or getting a fursuit, or finally going to a con, or getting new rubber gear for my AD twitter so I can repost less and have more people like what content I'm putting out instead of me making it all one sided.
I wanna be more apart of this furry thing, but I have only ever been on the fringe of it being only tangentially involved while also having been a furry since 6th grade when I was barely a teenager. God I hope things keep getting better. Regular hours and days off at work have already improved things a lot, but it remains to be seen when I'll get to bid for the job I want so I can be mostly left alone at work and won't have to deal with any of the occasionaly VERY toxic people there or the akwardly forced work friendships among the very few actual friendships there.
I can barely remeber what I used to like to do with my time. When i try and do what I always used to do (play video games, watch shows, browse the interent, or work on creative projects) I am just not satisfied. Why is that. I have a decent income, so that's good, I am moved back in with my parents, so that sucks ass, my fiancee and I are still living separately and he's been stuck with his abusive mother and sisters for a long time so that's fucking irritating and stressful, and I'm depressed cuz I struggle to find meaning day to day when the one person i always used to wanna talk to just talks about how miserable he is now and needs me to comfort him and reassure him.
Meanwhile I'm stuck dealing with months of built up depression and anxiety by myself, especially as I am still not 100% confirmed to keep this job yet as I am going through a second 90 day probation period untill the end of July and I'm just not happy with how life is in general. My daya to day existance is stable , and fuctional, but I'm not thriving in it, I'm just drowing my unhappiness and dissatisfaction in buying small nice things and trying to work towards little future goals while trying to build towards posting more self made content on my AD twitter, as I wanna meet more rubber inclined furs out there.
Lately though, I haven't used my gear that much, cuz I've been focused on finally making myself a unique fursona (scalesona) instead of cannibalising the design of one of my own OC's since I could never figure out what could possibly represent me. Idk, I want too many things at once and a lot of the things I want have a lot of work laid out in front of me to get them. Like moving into my own place that I can both afford and still live comfortably in without having to have 5 roommates. Or getting refs of my new sona (who's design I'm still mostly clueless about), or getting a fursuit, or finally going to a con, or getting new rubber gear for my AD twitter so I can repost less and have more people like what content I'm putting out instead of me making it all one sided.
I wanna be more apart of this furry thing, but I have only ever been on the fringe of it being only tangentially involved while also having been a furry since 6th grade when I was barely a teenager. God I hope things keep getting better. Regular hours and days off at work have already improved things a lot, but it remains to be seen when I'll get to bid for the job I want so I can be mostly left alone at work and won't have to deal with any of the occasionaly VERY toxic people there or the akwardly forced work friendships among the very few actual friendships there.
Car wreck.
Posted 8 years agoI totalled my car today and in a nice wreck like 30 seconds from home. Super excited to not have a car for like, the first time in 10 years....really didn't need this in my life right now when I was just getting into a position tof maybe get another job since I got laid off at the beginning of January. Hope others out there are having a better time of things.
