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Not a fan of the new FA banner
Posted 3 months agoSo much for subtlety or tolerance. Just force it down everyone's throats.
I don't preach to you, don't preach to me.
I'm not interested in your religion.
I don't preach to you, don't preach to me.
I'm not interested in your religion.
New Wallpaper Engine Furry Background
Posted a year agoI just uploaded a steam wallpaper engine background, for those who are interested. Highly edited, dynamic street racing themed piece of my fursona on a Ford Mustang.
https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfi.....?id=3323662224
https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfi.....?id=3323662224
Happy Dinosaur Month! + Adoptables?
Posted 2 years agoJust wanted to wish everyone a happy dinosaur month!
Special thanks to https://twitter.com/ellis_snake for discovering the holiday.
Anyway, I was considering doing adoptables since commissions are kind of risky, as there's a lot of characters I have no idea how to draw.
I'd focus a lot on developing personality and lifestyle of the character alongside their general reference piece.
Would anyone be interested in that?
Special thanks to https://twitter.com/ellis_snake for discovering the holiday.
Anyway, I was considering doing adoptables since commissions are kind of risky, as there's a lot of characters I have no idea how to draw.
I'd focus a lot on developing personality and lifestyle of the character alongside their general reference piece.
Would anyone be interested in that?
Do I even need to say it?
Posted 2 years agoIf you know what I'm talking about then you know how it is. It's that way because of this and them. If you think I'm being vague, you're one of them.
O∀W˥ ˙ʎlsnoᴉɹǝs sᴉɥʇ sǝʞɐʇ ǝuoǝɯos lᴉʇun ʇᴉɐʍ ʇsnſ ˙ǝʞoɾ ɐ sɐʍ sᴉɥ┴
O∀W˥ ˙ʎlsnoᴉɹǝs sᴉɥʇ sǝʞɐʇ ǝuoǝɯos lᴉʇun ʇᴉɐʍ ʇsnſ ˙ǝʞoɾ ɐ sɐʍ sᴉɥ┴
Impatient drivers put everyone at risk
Posted 2 years agoWhenever I drive, I like to leave at LEAST the minimum space between me and the car in front of me, following the 1 car for every 10mph rule. Yesterday I was behind a semi truck with a trailer covered in large concrete tubing of some sort, so I left a nice gap coming to a stop. For some reason, some very fat middle aged woman slammed her Rav4 into the space between me and the semi, no signalling, cutting me off and nearly clipping the semi at the same time somehow.
This wasn't even the first time, any time I leave a space between me and the vehicle in front of me, someone will slide in bumper to bumper to try to save the smallest amount and rely on everyone else around them to avoid letting them cause an accident.
As much as I hate legal restrictions on things, I'm starting to really think there should be a better standard on who should be allowed to drive, for example at least some sort of technical course where you're tested on spatial awareness and proper braking. Just a parallel parking test isn't enough. If your car takes up more space than the space between the cars in the next lane, you shouldn't try to merge into the car next to you.
Even as somebody who loves the 'street racing' culture, they still know how to make use of proper spacing and minimizing risk for the most part. It seems like most of the accidents are done just by average Joes and Karens who just want to get to their next destination a little bit faster even if it means putting everyone else at risk. Especially with the popularity of trucks and SUV's now making up the majority of cars, it's a lot of extra weight to be responsible for, and there's a lack of responsibility for them.
If you're in a rush, just wait for an opening anyway. You don't need to get people killed so you can beat the lunch rush to your local coffee shop. Traffic flows much faster without tailgaters and swervers, so please just drive responsibly.
This wasn't even the first time, any time I leave a space between me and the vehicle in front of me, someone will slide in bumper to bumper to try to save the smallest amount and rely on everyone else around them to avoid letting them cause an accident.
As much as I hate legal restrictions on things, I'm starting to really think there should be a better standard on who should be allowed to drive, for example at least some sort of technical course where you're tested on spatial awareness and proper braking. Just a parallel parking test isn't enough. If your car takes up more space than the space between the cars in the next lane, you shouldn't try to merge into the car next to you.
Even as somebody who loves the 'street racing' culture, they still know how to make use of proper spacing and minimizing risk for the most part. It seems like most of the accidents are done just by average Joes and Karens who just want to get to their next destination a little bit faster even if it means putting everyone else at risk. Especially with the popularity of trucks and SUV's now making up the majority of cars, it's a lot of extra weight to be responsible for, and there's a lack of responsibility for them.
If you're in a rush, just wait for an opening anyway. You don't need to get people killed so you can beat the lunch rush to your local coffee shop. Traffic flows much faster without tailgaters and swervers, so please just drive responsibly.
New 'Mad Max' Reshade Preset available on Nex
Posted 2 years agoI made a Mad Max reshade preset inspired by a repetitious set of nightmares I'd been having.
The world is long dead, and there's no hope for survival.
https://www.nexusmods.com/madmax/mods/47/
The world is long dead, and there's no hope for survival.
https://www.nexusmods.com/madmax/mods/47/
Testing the Waters/ Taking Commissions Maybe?
Posted 3 years agoHello my faithful, pure hearted watchers!
I was wondering if at all any of you would be interested in buying commissions or YCH's from me,
and if so, what kind of category you'd want? Hard S&M Porn, SFW Wholesome, Action Scenes, etc.
I was wondering if at all any of you would be interested in buying commissions or YCH's from me,
and if so, what kind of category you'd want? Hard S&M Porn, SFW Wholesome, Action Scenes, etc.
Halloween Time!!
Posted 3 years agoI'm rather giddy this year for all of the halloween themed art due to come out. Whether it be festive or spooky, the pretty autumn colors combined with the festive nature is quite fun.
A Few Words on National Cougar Day
Posted 3 years agoMountain Lions are my favorite animal, and so it's hard to address some things to do with them without getting emotional, so I will attempt to list my addresses plainly.
Firstly, and to myself, most importantly, I want to bring to light the absolute abuses of mountain lions at the hands of wildlife biologists. In the United States, there is a significant population of cougars that have their lives hampered exponentially in difficulty, all in the name of "scientific research". Wild animals need every sense they have running at peak capacity most of the time in order to stay alive, and it's a miracle any of them last as long as they do while put under unnecessary strains at the hands of scientists. Neck movement-limiting radio collars, even on kittens, making it difficult to chase down prey. Ear tags (I've even seen some pumas with multiple per ear) that limit movement of the ears, heavier ones often even bending down cartilage, making the ear flop down like a golden retriever, and sometimes even tearing out. The absolute unnecessary sacrifice of plucking their teeth plucked out so that their age can be tested directly. Tattooing identification numbers on the inside of their mouth, as if their ears wasn't bad enough, potentially making it far easier to infection due to the fact they live off of a diet of raw meat. So many cougars tortured, maimed, and even killed by self proclaimed people-of-science. They claim to have and even do their best to show positive emotion, and even what they consider love towards the animals, all the while while ruining so many of the animals' lives; what I'd call an abusive relationship at the slightest. Unable to see the flaws in their own actions, justifying them in whatever way they see fit. Every person involved in the process I've spoken to seems to be in this cloud where they see it as okay to hurt animals for even the most useless of scientific data. "Studies" running on for the animals' whole lives, no hypothesis or theories, just collecting tracking data and samples, entirely at the wellbeing of the animal. And once the funding runs out, lots of forest critters living the rest of their lives covered in heavy "scientific" hardware straining their necks and tearing through their ears. Collars that were meant to fall off, bud didn't, and plenty still with their ears pulled in whichever direction by permanent tags. But of course, question anyone in the sciences today and you'll receive the "I AM THE SCIENCE" treatment.
Secondly, the effects of urban sprawl on mountain lions and other carnivorous mammals. In lots of cities and other communities, it's common for deer and other herbivores to purposefully take shelter among mankind, allowed to do so based on the fact that they're 'cute'. While this is true, it has an awful effect on the environment. In many places, carnivorous animals, including cougars, are shot on sight once in city limits. Even the best case scenario will end with them being tranq'ed, tracked, and put in the category of the paragraph above. All the while their food remains safe in a zone that they cannot reach. Meanwhile houses are continuously built further and further into the wilderness. Tearing down animals' homes and driving away nature, often by the rich and famous who claim to care so much about climate change, but scoff at the idea of protecting the physical environment. Millions upon millions of dollars invested into hypocrisy. There's already plenty of abandoned urban sprawl that could be reclaimed with a bit of elbow grease, rather than expanding further outwards.
Lastly, the action of killing mountain lions directly comes onto the list. While there are many anti-hunting groups, of which I am thankful for, the action is still allowed. While there is rarely an excuse to go carnivore hunting, except in the case of starvation of one's self, it is allowed for the sake of 'fun' and seen by many as a 'sport' drenched in the blood of innocent animals. If a person needs to eat, or feed their family, they should of course be allowed to, and in the same note, if one needs to defend themselves or their property from dangerous animals, there should be NO limitations on how they should do so in such dire circumstances, including any limitation of firearms being an infringement on one's natural right to protect themselves. But of course, the same rights should absolutely fall to wild animals. While mankind should respect nature, it is also their duty to protect it. Most states only hold the extremes, such as California where even defending one's self is illegal without lots of licenses and fees beforehand, and on the other side, plenty of rural states that do nothing to enforce the laws against poaching and openly encourage hunting. This is something that requires a balance, and one can be achieved with enough understanding.
I do hope that my words reach enough people to make a difference, or even if not, the attempt was still worth the effort. Cougars, like many other large wild cats, deserve respect and solitarily, but are very rarely afforded it as much as large cats on other continents. Even searching up mountain lions online can show how differently they are treated compared to jaguars, leopards, tigers, etc., nearly every single one touched by man being fitted with ear tags and a collar, or euthanized outright. The United States seems to have no respect for nature so long as it may be a threat to humans in any way, and instead substitute their faux environmental right woes instead with air quality and temperature. The narrative completely disregards the plight of carnivorous animals, either outright casting them as hostile to humanity, or placing them in the hands of those who will gladly maim them in the name of science. Wild animals have the same right to pursue life as any of us, and should be freely allowed to do so, until they impede upon ours.
Firstly, and to myself, most importantly, I want to bring to light the absolute abuses of mountain lions at the hands of wildlife biologists. In the United States, there is a significant population of cougars that have their lives hampered exponentially in difficulty, all in the name of "scientific research". Wild animals need every sense they have running at peak capacity most of the time in order to stay alive, and it's a miracle any of them last as long as they do while put under unnecessary strains at the hands of scientists. Neck movement-limiting radio collars, even on kittens, making it difficult to chase down prey. Ear tags (I've even seen some pumas with multiple per ear) that limit movement of the ears, heavier ones often even bending down cartilage, making the ear flop down like a golden retriever, and sometimes even tearing out. The absolute unnecessary sacrifice of plucking their teeth plucked out so that their age can be tested directly. Tattooing identification numbers on the inside of their mouth, as if their ears wasn't bad enough, potentially making it far easier to infection due to the fact they live off of a diet of raw meat. So many cougars tortured, maimed, and even killed by self proclaimed people-of-science. They claim to have and even do their best to show positive emotion, and even what they consider love towards the animals, all the while while ruining so many of the animals' lives; what I'd call an abusive relationship at the slightest. Unable to see the flaws in their own actions, justifying them in whatever way they see fit. Every person involved in the process I've spoken to seems to be in this cloud where they see it as okay to hurt animals for even the most useless of scientific data. "Studies" running on for the animals' whole lives, no hypothesis or theories, just collecting tracking data and samples, entirely at the wellbeing of the animal. And once the funding runs out, lots of forest critters living the rest of their lives covered in heavy "scientific" hardware straining their necks and tearing through their ears. Collars that were meant to fall off, bud didn't, and plenty still with their ears pulled in whichever direction by permanent tags. But of course, question anyone in the sciences today and you'll receive the "I AM THE SCIENCE" treatment.
Secondly, the effects of urban sprawl on mountain lions and other carnivorous mammals. In lots of cities and other communities, it's common for deer and other herbivores to purposefully take shelter among mankind, allowed to do so based on the fact that they're 'cute'. While this is true, it has an awful effect on the environment. In many places, carnivorous animals, including cougars, are shot on sight once in city limits. Even the best case scenario will end with them being tranq'ed, tracked, and put in the category of the paragraph above. All the while their food remains safe in a zone that they cannot reach. Meanwhile houses are continuously built further and further into the wilderness. Tearing down animals' homes and driving away nature, often by the rich and famous who claim to care so much about climate change, but scoff at the idea of protecting the physical environment. Millions upon millions of dollars invested into hypocrisy. There's already plenty of abandoned urban sprawl that could be reclaimed with a bit of elbow grease, rather than expanding further outwards.
Lastly, the action of killing mountain lions directly comes onto the list. While there are many anti-hunting groups, of which I am thankful for, the action is still allowed. While there is rarely an excuse to go carnivore hunting, except in the case of starvation of one's self, it is allowed for the sake of 'fun' and seen by many as a 'sport' drenched in the blood of innocent animals. If a person needs to eat, or feed their family, they should of course be allowed to, and in the same note, if one needs to defend themselves or their property from dangerous animals, there should be NO limitations on how they should do so in such dire circumstances, including any limitation of firearms being an infringement on one's natural right to protect themselves. But of course, the same rights should absolutely fall to wild animals. While mankind should respect nature, it is also their duty to protect it. Most states only hold the extremes, such as California where even defending one's self is illegal without lots of licenses and fees beforehand, and on the other side, plenty of rural states that do nothing to enforce the laws against poaching and openly encourage hunting. This is something that requires a balance, and one can be achieved with enough understanding.
I do hope that my words reach enough people to make a difference, or even if not, the attempt was still worth the effort. Cougars, like many other large wild cats, deserve respect and solitarily, but are very rarely afforded it as much as large cats on other continents. Even searching up mountain lions online can show how differently they are treated compared to jaguars, leopards, tigers, etc., nearly every single one touched by man being fitted with ear tags and a collar, or euthanized outright. The United States seems to have no respect for nature so long as it may be a threat to humans in any way, and instead substitute their faux environmental right woes instead with air quality and temperature. The narrative completely disregards the plight of carnivorous animals, either outright casting them as hostile to humanity, or placing them in the hands of those who will gladly maim them in the name of science. Wild animals have the same right to pursue life as any of us, and should be freely allowed to do so, until they impede upon ours.
"The Island of Dr. Moreau" was Not about furries
Posted 4 years agoI was highly disturbed.
Would furries be the result of "Brave New World"?
Posted 4 years agoRecently I finished the audiobook for "Brave New World" (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KJIsXnbTYx0). I think if furries as expressed in art were to have a world, it'd be like that in "Brave New World". It was very good, and it left me seeing some similarities between the world in the book and the 'furry' world. Random open sex whenever, wherever. Never any risk of disease or pregnancy. Drugs in food to make you horny or happy. Some disturbing things involving a lack of familial structure or age limitations, though that was the point of the book. The only thing the book seemed to be missing was homosexuality, though I haven't looked into why that was the case, most likely just the culture of the time that the book was written.
TL:DR Furries live like they're in Brave New World
TL:DR Furries live like they're in Brave New World
If most people find you unattractive, your OC's would too
Posted 4 years agoJust a thought I had. If your OC's came to life and met with you, they'd probably think of you what most other people already do. Just sayin'
If most people like you, they probably would too.
If most people like you, they probably would too.
I have a confession...
Posted 5 years agoDespite my name on Furaffinity, and declaring myself as a purebred Touger, I am actually 1/8th housecat. One or both of my parents likely had some housecat in them. That explains my tabby-like marks on my head and pointy ears. Well, it's been hard coming to this reality, but I think I'll be fine. Just need to find a nice sunny window to lay in now.
Feel Free to follow me on the new Social Media site
Posted 5 years agoAs if my art wasn't proof enough I don't belong here on this planet, please follow my Parler account for more thoughts and announcements from me. https://parler.com/profile/Midnightmurrauder/posts
Do any other artists have shoulder strain?
Posted 5 years agoAbout 7 years ago the area under my right shoulder blade started feeling like it was torn and the skin on the surface went numb from constantly carrying heavy school books. It never went away or "healed", and starts to sting whenever I draw, type, or lift for extended periods with that arm. I'm wondering if anyone else who does lots of art has this problem?
Happy Independence Day!
Posted 5 years agoEvery July 4th, we come together and remember how much British people suck. How much us Americans are better than the inbred, buck toothed, caste system worshiping cowardly authoritarians, and how we drove them back into the sea in the name of Freedom!
Long Live America! Let Freedom Ring!
edit: *just kidding, Brits, we love you*
Long Live America! Let Freedom Ring!
edit: *just kidding, Brits, we love you*
So Sick of Political Extremism on FA
Posted 5 years agoWhat I'm about to say may seem abnormal for this environment, but compared to the rest of the journals I've seen, it's in no way out of line of what's accepted on this website.
You're not special because you cling to political groups and ideology. We all need to eat and drink, we all love and laugh, and we all cry and fear things. Everyone is human, no matter what they believe in. In a perfect world, we'd all hold hands in a land of plenty. It's normal to have disagreements, minor ones such as favorite food or song, or extreme ones such as tax policy or nationality. However, it's important we all remain civil when we do disagree, because nobody likes feeling bad or being hurt. This being said, I have much disagreement with the general viewpoints the vocal minority hold here on FA.
All week I've been seeing other artists and users make posts demanding me to support BLM and/or Antifa, or unfollow them because that makes me "racist" to not support them.
If learning I don't believe in the same things as you ruins your echo chamber, then feel free to block me since you can't handle reality. You probably should stop eating since eating anything other than your mom's breast milk is cultural appropriation.
Now, if you haven't just blocked me, let me explain why I despise these groups:
I hate antifa because they're a terrorist organization, they've even been federally declared so by the US government. Everyone has the right to an opinion, including fascists. If you believe it's okay to kill someone for what they believe in, then they're justified in killing you first in self defense. While they claim to hate fascists, the majority of the people harmed by them have been from every other spectrum, including Andy Ngo the gay journalist. Killing people over ideology is an evil thing to do, and the only reason antifa hasn't killed more people despite dozens of terrorist attacks is due to sheer incompetence. Those who associate with this group support terrorism, and if you're willing to kill innocent people for an ideology, then understand you'd best be willing to die for it too.
I don't like the group "Black Lives Matter" on an egalitarian basis. BLM holds many double standards, firstly that they don't care about black on black crime. If black lives DO matter to BLM, then they'd try to stop gang violence and domestic abuse that runs rampant in the black community, and kills far more yearly than any cop or imaginary lynch mob that's out to kill african americans. Secondly, the police do absolutely abuse their power and get away with murder. However, BLM only cares when it's black people that are murdered to police, and often defend people that were justly shot in self defense. Police do murder tons of people, but statistics show it's because they like killing, not because they're racist. Lastly, and the reason most personal to me, is that they're racially supremacist (which is racist). I don't know how many times I've heard "kill all white people" and other phrases that are obviously genocidal in nature. If you're white and you hear black people say that, and you're not taking them seriously because you think they can't, that's just your own bigotry of low expectations at play, and you need to stop seeing black people as inferior. Blacks are just as capable as any other race, and not taking them seriously is both dehumanizing to them, but also making them see themselves as less because you're not taking them seriously. Racial supremacy is evil and dangerous, no matter whether it's white supremacy or black supremacy. They're both just as capable at murdering innocent people.
Furthermore, these protests have turned into riots where innocent people from every ideological faction are being hurt and killed. From business owners and onlookers, to activists and police. Once people start killing each other for a revolution, there's no going back. There is justification for protesting the establishment, but once you're okay with hurting people who have nothing to do with any of this, then you're automatically the villain, and should be stopped.
Most of the black people I know hate BLM because of this ideology, and the only way to true equality is by caring for one another.
You're not special because you cling to political groups and ideology. We all need to eat and drink, we all love and laugh, and we all cry and fear things. Everyone is human, no matter what they believe in. In a perfect world, we'd all hold hands in a land of plenty. It's normal to have disagreements, minor ones such as favorite food or song, or extreme ones such as tax policy or nationality. However, it's important we all remain civil when we do disagree, because nobody likes feeling bad or being hurt. This being said, I have much disagreement with the general viewpoints the vocal minority hold here on FA.
All week I've been seeing other artists and users make posts demanding me to support BLM and/or Antifa, or unfollow them because that makes me "racist" to not support them.
If learning I don't believe in the same things as you ruins your echo chamber, then feel free to block me since you can't handle reality. You probably should stop eating since eating anything other than your mom's breast milk is cultural appropriation.
Now, if you haven't just blocked me, let me explain why I despise these groups:
I hate antifa because they're a terrorist organization, they've even been federally declared so by the US government. Everyone has the right to an opinion, including fascists. If you believe it's okay to kill someone for what they believe in, then they're justified in killing you first in self defense. While they claim to hate fascists, the majority of the people harmed by them have been from every other spectrum, including Andy Ngo the gay journalist. Killing people over ideology is an evil thing to do, and the only reason antifa hasn't killed more people despite dozens of terrorist attacks is due to sheer incompetence. Those who associate with this group support terrorism, and if you're willing to kill innocent people for an ideology, then understand you'd best be willing to die for it too.
I don't like the group "Black Lives Matter" on an egalitarian basis. BLM holds many double standards, firstly that they don't care about black on black crime. If black lives DO matter to BLM, then they'd try to stop gang violence and domestic abuse that runs rampant in the black community, and kills far more yearly than any cop or imaginary lynch mob that's out to kill african americans. Secondly, the police do absolutely abuse their power and get away with murder. However, BLM only cares when it's black people that are murdered to police, and often defend people that were justly shot in self defense. Police do murder tons of people, but statistics show it's because they like killing, not because they're racist. Lastly, and the reason most personal to me, is that they're racially supremacist (which is racist). I don't know how many times I've heard "kill all white people" and other phrases that are obviously genocidal in nature. If you're white and you hear black people say that, and you're not taking them seriously because you think they can't, that's just your own bigotry of low expectations at play, and you need to stop seeing black people as inferior. Blacks are just as capable as any other race, and not taking them seriously is both dehumanizing to them, but also making them see themselves as less because you're not taking them seriously. Racial supremacy is evil and dangerous, no matter whether it's white supremacy or black supremacy. They're both just as capable at murdering innocent people.
Furthermore, these protests have turned into riots where innocent people from every ideological faction are being hurt and killed. From business owners and onlookers, to activists and police. Once people start killing each other for a revolution, there's no going back. There is justification for protesting the establishment, but once you're okay with hurting people who have nothing to do with any of this, then you're automatically the villain, and should be stopped.
Most of the black people I know hate BLM because of this ideology, and the only way to true equality is by caring for one another.
My favorite Christmas Song
Posted 5 years agoThe link between Artists' Art and their Music choice
Posted 6 years agoI really get the feeling that an artist's preference of music often has an effect on their style and themes of art. The culture that reflects each genre of music spreads itself into the creative activities of the one listening to it.
A lot of artists on here will post a link to the song they were listening to when they made a piece, and sometimes it's easy to see how a song can inspire a piece.
The '2019 All Wrapped Up' Spotify list coming out made me think of this. The top artists I listen to happen to be:
And a lot of other bands in between like The Rolling Stones, Megadeth, Winds of Plague, Eminem, Turisas, etc., just less of their overall music, and more cherry picked songs.
Looking back at my gallery, I think my music choice and the themes and aesthetic style of my art seem to make sense. The dark and edgy tones and more down to earth feel of things, I think fits the music I listen to well.
Feel free to comment what you listen to and how you think it coincides with what you make.
A lot of artists on here will post a link to the song they were listening to when they made a piece, and sometimes it's easy to see how a song can inspire a piece.
The '2019 All Wrapped Up' Spotify list coming out made me think of this. The top artists I listen to happen to be:
Slipknot
(more than any other band by a long shot, Slipknot makes up about half of the music I listen to).
Metallica
Iron Maiden
50 Cent
Suicide SilenceAnd a lot of other bands in between like The Rolling Stones, Megadeth, Winds of Plague, Eminem, Turisas, etc., just less of their overall music, and more cherry picked songs.
Looking back at my gallery, I think my music choice and the themes and aesthetic style of my art seem to make sense. The dark and edgy tones and more down to earth feel of things, I think fits the music I listen to well.
Feel free to comment what you listen to and how you think it coincides with what you make.
3 Pencils 1 Artist
Posted 6 years agoToday I drew 3 different pieces, two digital and one with pencil that still needs coloring. I feel proud of myself, but my right shoulder hurts a good amount from the high usage. My wrist is fine, but my hand bones cramped from the pencil and pen holding. I'm happy I pushed myself because it helps condition my focus and endurance for when I begin to draw professionally.
3 Pencils 1 Artist
Posted 6 years agoToday I drew 3 different pieces, two digital and one with pencil that still needs coloring. I feel proud of myself, but my right shoulder hurts a good amount from the high usage. My wrist is fine, but my hand bones cramped from the pencil and pen holding. I'm happy I pushed myself because it helps condition my focus and endurance for when I begin to draw professionally.
A Good Dream
Posted 6 years agoI had a good dream where I was sat at my dinner table in my home in Markarth, Skyrim. There was a blizzard going on outside, with the wind's howling being muffled by the thick doors and stone walls. In the seats and around the room were my OCs, all conversating, playing music, and serving drinks and food. I was at the head of the table, and the center of the celebration.
If only any dream could come true.
If only any dream could come true.
Demotivation
Posted 7 years agoI've been finding it hard to draw lately, anything from scribbles and doodles to full pieces due to an event that happened recently that really demotivated me.
As my profile and previous journals read, I had been taking a college art class.
Though I was one of the top three students in the class (the other two being women in their 30's who are employed in actual art related careers), the teacher graded men harsher than women(not saying it was because she was a self declared divorcee and 2nd wave feminist, but it may have something to do with it) and didn't give out extra credit to them, the complete way she graded was entirely biased to opinion rather than work completed. I tried to ignore this fact and keep my head down and keep quiet about it, until towards the end of the quarter where she straight-up refused to grade my work due to an urgent change in her class schedule. Because this would've lowered my grade a whole letter, I contacted her supervisor and she was forced to grade it. I thought that would solve it, until she lowered my final grade by a whole 10% anyway because I got the flu and missed two days(even though I didn't miss any work), so I was punished excessively for simply being sick. Despite all my effort I had been lowered from a B to a C, yet students who were far worse got A's based on her bias. All the while I was taking a concurrent math class of which I had focused less on, and my grade on that suffered due to my focus on art as well.
This being said, after being treated as what I perceive to be so unfairly, I've found it hard to bother picking up a pencil at all. I know holding grudges isn't healthy and I shouldn't let the wrath of my superiors hold me down, but it's difficult to see past it if I can't even get a fair shot in life. I've dealt with bigoted and biased professors before, but to suffer to this extent due to it just seems like any future effort is hopeless. Honestly I've been contemplating giving up on my college education altogether, if I really can't even get a fair chance based off of what I am rather than what I can do (which is really starting to explain some of the drop-out statistics).
With this all going through my head, I've found it hard to even think about practicing art again. It's just left me feeling empty inside.
As my profile and previous journals read, I had been taking a college art class.
Though I was one of the top three students in the class (the other two being women in their 30's who are employed in actual art related careers), the teacher graded men harsher than women(not saying it was because she was a self declared divorcee and 2nd wave feminist, but it may have something to do with it) and didn't give out extra credit to them, the complete way she graded was entirely biased to opinion rather than work completed. I tried to ignore this fact and keep my head down and keep quiet about it, until towards the end of the quarter where she straight-up refused to grade my work due to an urgent change in her class schedule. Because this would've lowered my grade a whole letter, I contacted her supervisor and she was forced to grade it. I thought that would solve it, until she lowered my final grade by a whole 10% anyway because I got the flu and missed two days(even though I didn't miss any work), so I was punished excessively for simply being sick. Despite all my effort I had been lowered from a B to a C, yet students who were far worse got A's based on her bias. All the while I was taking a concurrent math class of which I had focused less on, and my grade on that suffered due to my focus on art as well.
This being said, after being treated as what I perceive to be so unfairly, I've found it hard to bother picking up a pencil at all. I know holding grudges isn't healthy and I shouldn't let the wrath of my superiors hold me down, but it's difficult to see past it if I can't even get a fair shot in life. I've dealt with bigoted and biased professors before, but to suffer to this extent due to it just seems like any future effort is hopeless. Honestly I've been contemplating giving up on my college education altogether, if I really can't even get a fair chance based off of what I am rather than what I can do (which is really starting to explain some of the drop-out statistics).
With this all going through my head, I've found it hard to even think about practicing art again. It's just left me feeling empty inside.
Update for all my Massive Fanbase and their Moms.
Posted 7 years agoI likely won't be uploading anything for a while. I'm taking some community college art classes, which I'm dedicating 100% of my "art" time to (Though unfortunately I doubt my teacher will want to see Yiff, so I have to do the good ol' traditional stuff instead). Also, for another update, FA has gotten me into Herms and the like, so there goes my straight card. :/ Now I'm no longer a minority. Finally, if all goes well, I should be better at art by the end of this, so I'll continue building up the comic I've been working on for about a year now in my free time, of which I've been working on the world-building, character bios, and story, of which hasn't even involved much drawing yet surprisingly. Besides, perfection takes lots of time and effort, so I want to make sure I kick things off right (likely in another year, novel writing is a long process for me).
Sometimes live rubs lemons in your eyes to make lemonade
Posted 8 years agoThrough these last few months, I've had a few good and bad things happen to me, the important thing is to look at the positives as well as the negatives so that it seems worth living on.
