Happy Halloween one and all though it's bout all over with in this here time zone. I have to say I can see why a lot of folks are hesitant to open up a Twitter account. It's so dang addictive. I find myself more and more tweeting of late! It's crazy. Ok....so it's not really all that bad. I don't tweet like every freaking second. I'm just being dramatic. Still, if it ever gets as bad as say...the example below, someone shoot me or at the very least whack me upside the head with a frying pan or baseball bat or something :-P

Mixing Compound A with Compound B in 150 ml beaker

Oh s**t!!! That was Compound C not B o_0 This is gonna suck!

Spent a good couple of minutes under the emergency shower. Ish totally drenched n' freaked out!

In Ambulance in route to hospital. Will be offline for a bit

@plasticsurgeonexperts Gonna need a referral for a plastic surgeon with expertise at ear replacement.

Hehehehe Yeah...yeah I know. I'm such a dork :-P Be safe y'all. Goodnight.

My wonderful watchers, I know most of y'all may feel you have a good grasp on what I'm all about. No doubt that my year plus here has lend some clues to how I tick and such. Do know that there is much more to me than just a scientific, very religious, ultra compassionate and sometimes overly emotional soul with a thing for tickling, sports and fitness, and awesome anthro artwork. Yeah those things are me and what I've shown through various journals, artwork, and stories. That's not the full picture though. So let me take this time to tell y'all a bit more bout me.

First and foremost, I've discovered I'm more crazy bout rail travel than I first thought. Heck I got me a railway atlas recently of the nation's rail infrastructure. This really sprang forth from my trip this summer up to PA when I took the train up their to vist a friend in Philly and then over to AC in Pitt. If I had the money and the time, I would just ride the rails to every corner of this great nation; Northeast, Midwest, Southwest, and Northwest. I like traveling in general but by rails is a plus. There's not just more to see but there are more chances for good interpersonal communication with new folks. Now even though I like riding the rails so much, I'm not to a point of throwing off all my responsibilities and living the life of a hobo

Since a very young age, I've always been a tinkerer. I've always been fascinated with the inner workings of everyday things. Started with cars and branched off from their. Electrical systems is a big area of interest I've studied and worked with a lot in the past. Electromagnetism remains a big area of interest of mine and has served me fairly well in my current vocation of food chemist and now sensory and statistical work as well. Yeah I was one of them kids who liked to take things apart and put em back together In my defense, for the most part, I got em back together successfully. Heck I still do that to some extent every so often. On reason why I like to work on my car myself when feasible.

One third point that may raise my geek factor to the max. See I'm not much a gamer. One big thing that separates me from a lot of folks in this community. I don't even have a game console of any kind. Just more of a reader and a music junkie these days. Plus my drawing hobby has taking up free time as well. Still on occasion I'll play a game on my sweet desktop PC at home when I can. Not much of a collection of games for it though. Some Tom Clancy action ones, a baseball one, actually have the Over The Hedge game hehehe. My favorite ones by far though are the Myst games. Yeah I admit, I have em all. Also have all three of the novels. It's just such a great storyline to me. One I love to get engrossed in and experience first had which is what those games let you do. The environments, the music...it's just awesome. Unfortunately, RealMyst and Riven don't work on my new PC's vista 64-bit system and I don't know if it's possible to make em work. Any suggestions or answers to solving this would be greatly appreciated.

That's just three little quirky things bout me. Something to show a little more of myself to this fandom. Don't know why I felt lead to share all this. Guess mainly I just felt like more of me should be revealed than what I've been revealing here. Also of late, I've been dwelling on the thought that everyone deserves to be known in some way or another. We should all give folks we come in contact with more of a chance. I know I haven't been great at that myself and I should be. Truly everyone is worth knowing to some degree in life. Take care y'all

P.S. I've got the most freakishly long eyelashes. Don't seem like I should have em. It's kinda funny how a few past girlfriends and just girl friends got so jealous at my for having long eyelashes they wish they had That was just too funny a quirk not to add.

The home hospice folks who were there for grandma when grandpa was dying last summer had a special memorial service for all it's patients that passed away in this past year. It was so powerful and...a bit overwhelming for yours truly. With the current situation with my job coupled with things going on in the lives of a few friends, it was all I could do to keep it together. They say the first year is the hardest and I can see that, especially going through them first holidays without that loved one. To my watchers, and anyone else who may stumble across the ramblings of this coyfox, if you've suffered the loss of a friend or relative this past year, yer in my thoughts and prayers and I assure you it will get better. I've said it many times before, I wouldn't take him back now as he was for all the pain he was in. I'll keep helping to raise awareness and funds for cancer research and keep working towards my goal of being more involved with anti-cancer research in the food science field as a way to honor his memory. Grieve for the lost loved ones for a bit, then celebrate yer time with them and finds ways to honor their memory. Now I'm getting on to bed. Time to put this physically and emotionally draining day behind me. Take care y'all.

I recall a tweet a little while back from  kyote about stores hiring and such and a sign that maybe things were turning around in this economy. Unfortunately it's still not the case for a lot of folks I care about. Now I learn that my department is having some...budget shortfalls. No...I'm not getting laid off thank the Lord but...I may be cut some hours or even whole days...maybe all the way down to half time. It's really not that big of a concern. I'm pretty smart when it comes to managing my money. Now though with these projections I'm gonna have to be a freakin rocket scientist to keep outta the red. I'll be fine though. I welcome this challenge. My thoughts and prayers go out to all of those though who have been so effected by the down economy...even worse than I have been. Here's hoping it turns around for all real soon.

Well...kinda a sad night for me but one of great reflection as well. Tonight marked the end of the brilliant career of one of the best guys to ever manage in the game of baseball. My Braves fell to the Giants a little while ago and it officially marks the end of Bobby Cox's outstanding career. Now I know many of y'all watching me here could give a flying flip about Cox or baseball in general. Yer of the mind that folks put too much into sports and, for the most part, I agree with ya wholeheartedly. This, however, is much more than just a game...than just a man. This marks the end of another chapter in my life. Since I was old enough to understand the game, with the help of my late grandfather, it was always Cox their managing my team. True I'm one of the spoiled fans who grew up during the heyday of the Atlanta Braves. I never lost the love for the game though, even when it got rocky. Change happens and we all must change as well. I've already changed a whole lot from the meek, glasses-wearing shy little misfit I was growing up but I must continue to change in order to move forward. It's tough though. I seem to be at a crossroad now. Not just me but so many folks I know near and far are having the same struggle with the same basic question: Where do I go from here? What is my purpose? As I've mentioned to a few folks, I view it kinda like this. I believe we all do find out path in life eventually. Some have an easier time of it than others. Sometimes, we just overlook it and it takes several passes before we finally stumble onto it. I pray I stumble upon mines real soon. I pray that all with that same struggle do as well. I wish I had all the answers when it comes to those questions but...it's not my place to know. It's my place to find. Peace y'all.

Tomorrow and Wednesday are gonna be the pits this week. I'll be stuck at home from work with the mother-of-all colds >_< I'll be all lonely and achy and just plain bleahhh. Maybe grandma can bring by some of her good ole chicken soup. I really haven't visited with her as much as I should have since grandpa's passing. It be good for her...be good for both of us. Been thinking lots bout him with the Braves making it back to the playoffs since 05. I wish he were here to enjoy this with us. He loved that ball team. More positives too...at least I get some free time to work on my second character reference sheet and my top secret and time-sensitive little side art project I got in the works. Stay tuned

Well...I bout got the flat computer coloring of my reference pic for ole Cobalt done. Should have that phase up later this evening. I wanted to be 100% through with this piece before this weekend ended but...tonsillitis had its own plans. I really missed doing this. Drawing is so relaxing for me and if I had got back to it sooner, I may not have had such a horrible August. My biggest regret from my first time at AC is not getting a sketchbook and sketching it up with the awesome artists I've met. At the very least the two I roomed with early on. Well...I need to stop dwelling on that and start looking forward to next year. Hopefully I'll be even more involved with the furry community before then and after that.

Speaking of the furry community, I have decided to open me up a Twitter account exclusively for my furry side. Facebook has been a great for me in reconnecting with old, non-fur friends and, though I have a handful of furs as friends there, the predominance is non-furry and...I'd just like a social niche for me that's exclusively furry. Get to know some more of the furs out there and maybe bump into some close to home. If anyone's interested in the daily goings-on of a food chemist silver coyfox then feel free to follow me. Hey...my field can be a lot more interesting than it seems Later y'all.

Well...for the most part. They'll still be the nagging questions bout how I fit in here in the fandom and in life in general but...I feel much more equipped to handle em. I'm ecstatic right now. Almost feel as if I'm floating in the air. Today I finally made all things right with those I've hurt or frustrated so the past couple of months. Of course it meant being told some things that are very true and factual but painfully so. Still though it's a necessary pain. I'm reminded of this medicine I use to get put on cuts and scraps as a kid. It was red and it stained ya for days but above all else it hurt like rip when applied to even the mildest abrasion. Of course the sting never lasted all that long and soon after came healing. Same case here. Truth hurts but one must suck it up and deal with the hurt and let it give way to the healing that can come from it in time. The only way I can truly get over this depression is to now move forward. That will mean giving some folks space and letting them completely heal from my actions. It will also mean reestablishing some friendships I've let slip from total inaction. It'll also mean having to distance myself from a couple of folks: one who wanted only one thing from me...usually bad things that I must distance myself from and one who has so giving up on making anything out of his life that it troubles me greatly. These are not folks on my watchlist so anyone on there,,,these last few sentences don't apply to. They know who they are and sorry...but I just can't be there for y'all anymore. I tried my best to help ya make the right decisions but you only dragged me down. I can't be dragged down anymore. I must go up from here. I still pray though that y'all find what it is you must find to be happy and productive. We must all make tough decisions to make real change. This decision is not one I make easily but...ultimately...all parties involved will be better off for it. So I guess in closing as we unofficially officially say farewell to summer. I say farewell to my past bad habits and my insecurities and start out with a clean slate. A bright future awaits us all. We just need to be patient and attentive and willing to step outside our comfort zone at times. God bless and this contemplative coyfox wishes nothing but the best for all of y'all. Peace.

Hard to believe September is already here. I'm not too terribly upset by that though. It's been an August to forget and I'm looking forward to a brighter September. Things are improving on my end. I'm starting to find more and more peace with where I'm at right now in life and...hopefully by doing so...I'll be more in-tuned to the still, small voice that will help me get where I need to be. I've been able to make amends with most of the folks I've wronged. Still maybe one or two I'm not sure about but, I'm not gonna force the issue much now just to make my goal of smoothing things out by Labor Day. That almost always just leads to more problems. in time all will be made right. I have faith in that. I'm so looking forward to the many cookouts this extended weekend and the much needed day off from work Have a safe one y'all! Take care!

Well...it's been one year ago today that I lost my grandfather to bladder cancer. It was very early on a Saturday morning. Not really too long after midnight. There's still some pain in my heart when I get to thinking bout him but...more joy shows through as the time passes. You would be proud grandpa of yer Atlanta Braves this year. I regret not letting you know how much I appreciated watching a ton of games with you growing up. It's why I'm the Braves fan I am today. MLB is doing an initiative right now with stand up to cancer where you can donate and get a virtual piece of yer teams stadium in memory of a loved one. If there's anyone out there who lost a loved one to cancer and that person was a huge baseball fan, I would highly recommend doing this. Here's the link: http://mlb.mlb.com/mlb/official_inf.....2c_initiatives

A big reason why my characters name is Cobalt actually reflects my strong desire to eradicate all cancers. The radioactive isotope of this element is used in a lot of radiation treatments for various cancers. I've lost way too many friends and relatives to this scourge, It's why I'm looking hard right now to use my biological and chemical knowledge to get on board with a cancer research program. It may mean biting the bullet and going back to school for a Master's degree but...if God means it to be...He shall provide. Already found a few possibilities but any input would be appreciated. If ya got some info about current cancer research as part of a university's graduate degree program or about cancer research programs in the private or government sector that do not require I get a Master's degree...feel free to note me with specifics. Have a blessed Sunday y'all and if yer currently going through a battle with cancer in you or someone close...you are in my prayers. Peace.

Ugh...I really should be asleep right now. Sleep hasn't been coming easy though. I lost a friend earlier today. I say I did but...how can one loose something he never really had. That's mostly my fault though. I thought we were becoming friends but...it's not fair for me to assume. I'm not in a very objective frame of mind for this. Maybe once I get control of my emotions, we'll be able to just talk things out over the phone a bit. Heck...what I'd really like to do is be able to sit down with him and hash things out face to face over some beer or tequila as I'd prefer. Being on separate ends of the country don't help there but...maybe someday that'll happen. I don't wanna give up hope on the friendship yet. I'm not gonna be round here much for awhile. One of the things that may have lead to this depression is my forcing myself into this community. A blockhead trying to squeeze himself into a tiny round hole. Best thing is to take a step back from all this. I'll still drop by every once and awhile to see what's up but...I won't be contributing anything for quite some time. Drawing had been such a nice added stress relief for me but now...I try and draw and I get saddened over all the stupid things I've said and did while struggling with this mess. I know it's mostly my irrational mind but...I just don't feel like I belong here. Gonna get in touch with a counseling center tomorrow. See what I can work out. I gotta nice reassuring sign as I pulled into my church parking lot for choir practice. Suspended in the air was a perfect rainbow completely arching over the sky. hehehdhe...world had the last laugh though for as I activated my BlackBerry's camera to take a shot...the damn thing crashed and...of course after it spent over ten minutes booting back up, the rainbow had faded away. Good one world...yer twisted sense of humor shows up yet again *rolls eyes* Stay happy, healthy, and safe all. Take care.

God I hate being so damned emo of late. It's just not my thing. This has been by far the worse bout of depression I've ever experienced in quite some time. The root cause seems to be AC. No not the con itself. I had an awesome time there and met some great folks. It's just that the whole PA trip I did...first to Philly to chill with a buddy there and then over to Pitt for AC...occupied my mind for most of the first quarter of this year. Well it came...and it went way to fast and there were things I wanted to happen...things that were planned...that just didn't happen. Now...I just feel aimless. Even though I did enjoy myself there...I still felt like an outsider. I've been feeling that way a lot round this community lately...be it rational or not. Now I've always been someone that questioned where my place in this world is for most of my life. This is different though...much more powerful...much more painful. Most of my pain there is from the fact than I've been such an ass to a few folks who didn't deserve it and...no matter how down I feel...there's just no need for the way I acted. I don't really know why I'm communicating this all here. I've never felt all that appreciated or accepted here yet...I'm still here. I still like this community and all the talented folks and, although I'll most likely never reach the level of talent of artists here...I still wanna keep doing the best I can...when I can. I should have anticipated this would be a pretty bad month for me after all that was going on this time last year. To all I've hurt with my actions or non-actions, please forgive me. All I really want right now is a second chance. I think we all deserve that sometimes.

I won't be round here all too often for some time. I've been in the middle of a real nasty depression for a little over a month now. It's caused me to alienate some real good folks yet act super clingy and needy to others. It's starting to completely unravel on me so...I need a time out. I'm suspending use of all my IM services for at least a month or so. I'll still be around my Facebook page as I'm trying to reconnect with some old friends there. I will also still drop by here on occasion but...I just really need to reexamine where I stand in terms of this fandom. No...I'm not gonna just up and leave the fandom or deny that I truly am a furry. I just need to take a step back before more damage to my relationships. I'm truly sorry but this must be done before I completely hit bottom or hurt anyone else. Take care and God bless.

I put down my current mood as listless because that seems to be what fits best right now. Really it's more of a sense of not belonging. No I'm not angry, saddened, or disappointed with FA or anyone here in particular. I just wonder at times if I belong here. Most of the active members here are artist who've been drawing for years and truly have a gift. I've only started drawing a little over a year ago and...it's not my principle hobby. I'm more the sports and fitness nut that would rather relieve the stresses of the day in physical activity mor than taken the time to draw. Having said that though...I do like drawing when I can get to it. I just...I just can't contribute like I'd like and it makes me feel so outta place. Just the way I am...I always wanna be able to contribute to anything I'm apart of. No...I'm not gonna up and leave FA over my silly little feelings. The emo part of me just had to let these feelings be none to any who may read this here journal. No I don't want sympathy or much attention. I just like to get these things off my chest at times. I've learned the hard way from my own personal experiences how detrimental it can be to hold things in. I'll continue to stop by on occasion and check out the latest art from my fav artists and I'll still contribute when I can. God help to be satisfied with just that little bit. Take care y'all.

I really don't post in this here journal often enough. Anyways...the All Star Game last night was awesome. National League finally won it. I was in middle school the last time they did. Makes the victory even more sweet that hometown hero Brian McCann delivered all three runs and was the MVP. Congrats B-Mac and all the NL All Stars. Oh...and of course R.I.P. to George Steinbrenner. Kinda eerie that the long time principal owner of the Yankees would die of a heart attack on the day of the All Star Game. Well...back to work.

I'm glad I decided to attend AC this year. I was pretty anxious bout it considering it was my first. Much thanks to  folfswimmer,  crashheart,  danteag, and others that put up with me while there and helped to make it a decent experience. It was a pleasure getting to meet  codyvfrost and  cooner. Oh and I can't forget  kyote. I'm back here at work now and, as I expected, the day is dragging on slowly as is I. I miss tha folks I've meet there at AC and I miss the fun we shared. I must try my hardest to keep those connections. I've never been good at sustaining friendships. Blame it on tha dang lone wolf in this coyfox. It is important that I change this because life is so much more enjoyable around many good friends.

Well last Monday was Memorial Day and yesterday was the 66th aniversary of D-Day. These facts really hit home with the reality of how the WWII vetrerans are dying off. It won't be too long before they're all gone. Just like my grandpa. It is important to never forget their sacrifice and service for our country. I sure won't forget.

For a scientist like myself who likes to be insanely accurate with many things, it hasn't gone unnoticed to me that the color scheme for my character Brandon Diego really doesn't match up with actual coyote species. So...to explain the crazy silver/ gray color scheme, I decided that he shall be 3/4 yote and 1/4 silver fox. Simply put one of his grand sires was a full blood silver fox. Haven't decided which side of the family. I might do a little back-story on that once it comes together and I have some more time to pen it. This choice appeals to me since I like foxes too and and especially the color scheme of the silver fox...which incidentally more closer matches Brandon's. Also I'm such an interesting hybrid myself as most white males are in America. Various Germanic and other European ethnicity with a healthy measure of Native American thrown in to the mix from my father's side for the family. I guess put simply, this is a way to combine my 1st and 3rd favorite animals. I would throw in the second favorite but...a yote/otter/fox hybrid is a bit too much out there for this scientific mind. From hence forth the change in species will be reflected on my profile. That is all. Have a great weekend everyone!!!

Whoa...I've just noticed that I surpassed 1000 pageviews. Awesome!! A little late in noticing it but *throws confetti and breaks out tha noisemakers* I's will celebrate anyways!!! Thanks to everyone who stopped by to check out my little spot on FA. Only been here for a little over a year and yet it seems like it's been longer.

I really don't use this journal enough. Just wanted to throw out something kinda cool that my twin bro showed me. http://crystal-cure.com/article-birth-totem.html
Being part Native American myself...I thought I'd check it out further and...it's pretty neat. Definitely appeals to my furry side. My second favorite animal is by far the otter and now I can see why. http://crystal-cure.com/totem-moon11.html
As you can see, the otter is the animal totem for my moon. It's kinda eeire how accurately my personality traits mirror what they say it should be under my moon. Now understand I don't hold a belief in this...this was just something intersting and fun to look at.

I just stepped out of my lab and looked out the nearest door to be greeted by snowfall. Not really surprised by it as it was predicted. Still...I already had my one big snow for tha winter. I's ready for springtime. Bring on the warmth and sunshine. Oh well...might as well enjoy this while it last though it's most likely gonna be a yucky, slushy snow all tha day.

Yup...today I turn 27. Yeah me...though it's not all that special to me. If anything, it's a reminder that I'll be 30 in a blink hehehe. So how am I celebrating...work as usual. This work day won't be so bad though. Already got some well wishes from friends and colleagues. The folks will be treating me to a Birthday dinner at a place of my choosing this evening. I'm leaning towards Chili's since I haven't been there in awhile and...I really want one of their Margaritas. Have a great day everyone. I sure will try to.

Hey...I just realized that I've been registered with FA for a whole year now! Awesome!

Too all my friends, watchers, and any passers-by, I'd like to bestow my wishes for a joyous and blessed 2010. I also hope that this new decade will bring with it just a bit more peace and is not as full of all the turmoil of the past decade. Well...enough sensitive gushing...time to watch some good and violent football.

Might as well go on and give my warmest holiday wishes hear now. Don't plan to be anywhere near a computer tomorrow. Boy I can't beleive how fast this Christmas seem to come up. It really boggles my mind that it's already Christmas Eve. Well...gotta work half the day, then it's off to do some good ole last minute shopping. Have a safe and happy Holiday everyone. Peace!!