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Been a while
Posted 3 years agoToday is a nice day to post a journal. Been a while since I gave any updates.
So, what's going on with this foxxo? Well first, this foxxo is now a sneplynx. Shapeshifter things lol. Wonder what the next will be, then again I'm currently a skunktaur for the month. Yay skunktember!
So, what's going on now? I don't know. Plurality has been a bit chaotic, system count at 11 now. I don't think I mentioned it in journals other than a couple of those plegg moments. As for other things, well, I still get dysphoric, and I still fall into bouts of depression. But I think I'll make it, dunno, we'll have to see.
Now that that's out of the way, what's the plan for upcoming stuff? Well, been wanting to make a comic, but at the same time wanna show off my characters and their lore. Figuring out whether to show off parts and pieces of the story at random or actually go out and make the full story. I only have like, 2 pieces of the story done, but then again it could just be a set of comics. It's really cool, it explains a lot of what goes on with Duet and the world around them. Also explains their shapeshifting ability and why Vaz exists and why they're liquid sometimes! It's dramatic in that part too.
Other than that things are ok, but they could be a bit better, just a little bit. Am on my way to getting a job, just have to get a final confirmation and I'm not gonna have to worry too much about money for a bit. However, my time's gonna be a bit constrained, which may not be noticeable here, but on Twitter and the Telegram channel it will be. Hopefully I'll find some time to draw once I got a job.
I suppose that's everything I wanted to say, things are pretty normal. Dunno where I'm going but I hope it's an alright path.
So, what's going on with this foxxo? Well first, this foxxo is now a sneplynx. Shapeshifter things lol. Wonder what the next will be, then again I'm currently a skunktaur for the month. Yay skunktember!
So, what's going on now? I don't know. Plurality has been a bit chaotic, system count at 11 now. I don't think I mentioned it in journals other than a couple of those plegg moments. As for other things, well, I still get dysphoric, and I still fall into bouts of depression. But I think I'll make it, dunno, we'll have to see.
Now that that's out of the way, what's the plan for upcoming stuff? Well, been wanting to make a comic, but at the same time wanna show off my characters and their lore. Figuring out whether to show off parts and pieces of the story at random or actually go out and make the full story. I only have like, 2 pieces of the story done, but then again it could just be a set of comics. It's really cool, it explains a lot of what goes on with Duet and the world around them. Also explains their shapeshifting ability and why Vaz exists and why they're liquid sometimes! It's dramatic in that part too.
Other than that things are ok, but they could be a bit better, just a little bit. Am on my way to getting a job, just have to get a final confirmation and I'm not gonna have to worry too much about money for a bit. However, my time's gonna be a bit constrained, which may not be noticeable here, but on Twitter and the Telegram channel it will be. Hopefully I'll find some time to draw once I got a job.
I suppose that's everything I wanted to say, things are pretty normal. Dunno where I'm going but I hope it's an alright path.
It's a journal!
Posted 6 years agoJust needed a placeholder as the last one is a gigantic textwall. Haha.
Draws are coming.
Comms may be opening soon too.
Draws are coming.
Comms may be opening soon too.
Being trans pt. 3
Posted 6 years agoSo, incredibly, a lot has happened since the last journal; and I mean A LOT. Which is why I'm writing this a month earlier.
Since the last journal I mentioned I was just about to take a series of medical tests. Of these tests I had to take a blood chemistry test, an ultrasound on the testes and breasts, and finally an STD test. The entire week was a crazy adventure I can really assure.
So, on that Monday I had to fast for about some 12 hours and then get up at 6 in the morning to get ready and go to the clinic, wasn’t hard but wow was the hunger getting to me. I got a little lost in the clinic but the nurses helped guide me to the lab where it was supposed to be done. So I turn in the docs, get my blood drawn and it was done. I headed off to the uni after and stopped by a restaurant for breakfast because I was starrrvinggg. Funny thing happened though. As I was at the table the waitress actually called me miss and ma’am in Spanish and I was both surprised and delighted because I wasn’t even doing much to pass anyway. I had my usual hoodie, skinny jeans and v-neck. I suppose I look very androgynous as I do get a lot of stares in the metro even if I’m not doing anything. The rest of the day was alright, even though I was very tired from the lack of sleep.
Tuesday was something else. I had the ultrasound which was the one I was the most nervous about. Also, a bit of a warning here, it’s a little mature to talk about. So, skip this paragraph if you don’t want to read on it. It was an appointment to have an ultrasound scan to check on the parts of me that would change the most on hormones, basically the breasts and the testes. So, there I was again waiting for the doc, turn in the note and I was set. The doctor was nice and told me why they had to do it. Basically it was to ensure there wouldn’t be problems or if there are any tumors to take care of before any treatment. Now I’ll save a lot of detail but it turns out I’m VERY sensitive on a part of my chest and I couldn’t stop laughing every time the scanner head got on it. I had to apologize but the doctor was very nice and he mentioned it wasn’t a rare occurrence. He then went onto the groin area and did the scan there too. It really wasn’t as bad as I thought it’d be like. I’d say this was the one time I actually had to show the most of my body to a stranger but he was completely professional and clear on what he was doing. Just a scan, and it was done after a few minutes. Finally it was over and I headed off back home and just did my usual things. I did have to take a shower though, that gel doesn’t come off easy with cheap paper towels.
Finally, Wednesday had come and it was another blood draw. This time it was just 4 hours of fasting and it was much later than the other appointments. Again it was just a quick draw of blood and I was done. I walked home because it was a nice day after. So, that was the process of the tests and it was all about waiting for the results, which would be on the 6th of March.
The day comes and I’m super nervous. I got there on time but there was line and I had to wait an extra hour past the appointment. I didn’t have any plans that day so it wasn’t a problem, and eventually I get called. By the way, all this time, they only call me by my last names, which is a great touch for them. I make it into the endocrinologist’s office and she first asks me for my preferred name and pronouns. She began to ask me almost the same questions as the psychiatrist did way back. I answered them all honestly and she then asked me the other personal questions like whether I drank, did hard drugs, or if I did sex work (which by the way is a completely normal question in this context…there’s a huge story to this, it’s crazy but amazing, but not something to talk about here). So, I mentioned that I only drink heavily on occasion and have never done drugs while I’m mostly male leaning in attraction even though I don’t have much of it myself. All of that. Also, for the record I’m still not sure if I’m either bi or ace, but that’s for another time.
So the doctor nods and confirms and then she shows my results of the STD test, where I turned out to be negative in everything (yay!) so I had no problems in that aspect. Then came the moment with the blood test and the ultrasound. So it turns out that I am pretty healthy. But I do have a slightly high triglyceride level which may cause problems in the future. I was given an appointment to see the clinic’s nutritionist for seeing how I’d have to adjust. Finally, I got to see my hormonal level which were going to indicate what was going. In the craziest of results it turned out I have abnormally low testosterone levels. I was actually asked if I was already taking anything but nope I wasn’t. It had also turned out I was showing symptoms of low T in the first place so it was decided to actually take advantage of the situation and actually skip the use of spirolactane. I was directly prescribed hormone injections and a light T blocker as well. I then went on to ask tons of questions on HRT, the types of medication, blockers, risks, alternate treatments, etc. on the matter and thankfully every single one was answered. I signed the final consent form and was given the script. Soon after I went to their pharmacy to pick up the necessary pills for the treatment and was told that they were in a shortage and couldn’t supply the injections. Not much of a problem, because I was able to buy the first dose at a nearby pharmacy. I get home, seeing the script, the boxes of blockers and doses I needed. It hit me, I was starting HRT. I took the first pill and tried to figure out how I’d take the first injection. I was very excited that day. For the next couple of days I didn’t really feel much from the blockers, and since these weren’t spiro the effect is very subtle. Although I do get a little extra irritable in the mornings.
After being too scared to do it myself, I decided to go back to the clinic and see if I could get it done for me, much to my happiness they did. It was a simple injection and I left and went on skating. There wasn’t much of an effect but I was feeling something. The following days it was a pill every 24 hours which by the way is both a blocker and a slight dose of hormones. Every day goes by and I feel different. Not in an obvious way but for the first time I actually feel ok. Like, there’s this feeling that I used to have that made me over stressed and horrible and now I feel normal. As I’m writing this it’s been a bit more than some two weeks since I’ve begun treatment and I do feel some effects. For one, and the most obvious, my sex drive has dropped abysmally. As a matter of fact I haven’t been able to draw much adult artwork lately because of this, but it really doesn’t bother me because I wasn’t even using it for any other reason. Haha. On the other, I have felt moments where I feel just a little sore on the chest, but there’s not a lot of visible growth yet…but I swear I do feel a little more “cushioned” in that area when I lay face down on my bed. Definitely not much has changed since I’m still just starting, but I am feeling so much better right now. I’m absolutely hoping things will work out fine later in life. I understand the luck I have in some ways and try not to be pushy about them. I know I can look androgynous and possibly even pass without hormones, I know my situation of friends and family have turned out to be more supportive than I had imagined, but what I am afraid of is time. In the later years I don’t know whether I’d be able to continue with passing, or if life will get harder, or if an accident occurs that could ruin it all. The thing is that I want to be ready and able to fend for myself at the right time should it happen. I’m constantly told how brave I am in this and how fast it’s been for me, but I have to say it’s not very easy for me either. I get stares whether or not I’m trying to pass, people openly debate what my gender is without considering to just ask me, and the sweeps and chest glances are so obvious. I did mention before that I didn’t mind much on being deadnamed or misgendered but now it feels like they’ve been beginning to gain their weight on me. All of my friends actively do their efforts to ensure they gender and name me correctly but my family doesn’t seem to be 100% on board in the matter. As of now though, I am glad to say that I finally opened a bank account and will be able to have full access to my paypal funds. Which means commissions will actually help fund my transition and I am very grateful to everyone who has commissioned me because of this very reason. Thank you all for the incredible support, I will be continuing on this journey as well as be bringing out my best of artwork for you.
Since the last journal I mentioned I was just about to take a series of medical tests. Of these tests I had to take a blood chemistry test, an ultrasound on the testes and breasts, and finally an STD test. The entire week was a crazy adventure I can really assure.
So, on that Monday I had to fast for about some 12 hours and then get up at 6 in the morning to get ready and go to the clinic, wasn’t hard but wow was the hunger getting to me. I got a little lost in the clinic but the nurses helped guide me to the lab where it was supposed to be done. So I turn in the docs, get my blood drawn and it was done. I headed off to the uni after and stopped by a restaurant for breakfast because I was starrrvinggg. Funny thing happened though. As I was at the table the waitress actually called me miss and ma’am in Spanish and I was both surprised and delighted because I wasn’t even doing much to pass anyway. I had my usual hoodie, skinny jeans and v-neck. I suppose I look very androgynous as I do get a lot of stares in the metro even if I’m not doing anything. The rest of the day was alright, even though I was very tired from the lack of sleep.
Tuesday was something else. I had the ultrasound which was the one I was the most nervous about. Also, a bit of a warning here, it’s a little mature to talk about. So, skip this paragraph if you don’t want to read on it. It was an appointment to have an ultrasound scan to check on the parts of me that would change the most on hormones, basically the breasts and the testes. So, there I was again waiting for the doc, turn in the note and I was set. The doctor was nice and told me why they had to do it. Basically it was to ensure there wouldn’t be problems or if there are any tumors to take care of before any treatment. Now I’ll save a lot of detail but it turns out I’m VERY sensitive on a part of my chest and I couldn’t stop laughing every time the scanner head got on it. I had to apologize but the doctor was very nice and he mentioned it wasn’t a rare occurrence. He then went onto the groin area and did the scan there too. It really wasn’t as bad as I thought it’d be like. I’d say this was the one time I actually had to show the most of my body to a stranger but he was completely professional and clear on what he was doing. Just a scan, and it was done after a few minutes. Finally it was over and I headed off back home and just did my usual things. I did have to take a shower though, that gel doesn’t come off easy with cheap paper towels.
Finally, Wednesday had come and it was another blood draw. This time it was just 4 hours of fasting and it was much later than the other appointments. Again it was just a quick draw of blood and I was done. I walked home because it was a nice day after. So, that was the process of the tests and it was all about waiting for the results, which would be on the 6th of March.
The day comes and I’m super nervous. I got there on time but there was line and I had to wait an extra hour past the appointment. I didn’t have any plans that day so it wasn’t a problem, and eventually I get called. By the way, all this time, they only call me by my last names, which is a great touch for them. I make it into the endocrinologist’s office and she first asks me for my preferred name and pronouns. She began to ask me almost the same questions as the psychiatrist did way back. I answered them all honestly and she then asked me the other personal questions like whether I drank, did hard drugs, or if I did sex work (which by the way is a completely normal question in this context…there’s a huge story to this, it’s crazy but amazing, but not something to talk about here). So, I mentioned that I only drink heavily on occasion and have never done drugs while I’m mostly male leaning in attraction even though I don’t have much of it myself. All of that. Also, for the record I’m still not sure if I’m either bi or ace, but that’s for another time.
So the doctor nods and confirms and then she shows my results of the STD test, where I turned out to be negative in everything (yay!) so I had no problems in that aspect. Then came the moment with the blood test and the ultrasound. So it turns out that I am pretty healthy. But I do have a slightly high triglyceride level which may cause problems in the future. I was given an appointment to see the clinic’s nutritionist for seeing how I’d have to adjust. Finally, I got to see my hormonal level which were going to indicate what was going. In the craziest of results it turned out I have abnormally low testosterone levels. I was actually asked if I was already taking anything but nope I wasn’t. It had also turned out I was showing symptoms of low T in the first place so it was decided to actually take advantage of the situation and actually skip the use of spirolactane. I was directly prescribed hormone injections and a light T blocker as well. I then went on to ask tons of questions on HRT, the types of medication, blockers, risks, alternate treatments, etc. on the matter and thankfully every single one was answered. I signed the final consent form and was given the script. Soon after I went to their pharmacy to pick up the necessary pills for the treatment and was told that they were in a shortage and couldn’t supply the injections. Not much of a problem, because I was able to buy the first dose at a nearby pharmacy. I get home, seeing the script, the boxes of blockers and doses I needed. It hit me, I was starting HRT. I took the first pill and tried to figure out how I’d take the first injection. I was very excited that day. For the next couple of days I didn’t really feel much from the blockers, and since these weren’t spiro the effect is very subtle. Although I do get a little extra irritable in the mornings.
After being too scared to do it myself, I decided to go back to the clinic and see if I could get it done for me, much to my happiness they did. It was a simple injection and I left and went on skating. There wasn’t much of an effect but I was feeling something. The following days it was a pill every 24 hours which by the way is both a blocker and a slight dose of hormones. Every day goes by and I feel different. Not in an obvious way but for the first time I actually feel ok. Like, there’s this feeling that I used to have that made me over stressed and horrible and now I feel normal. As I’m writing this it’s been a bit more than some two weeks since I’ve begun treatment and I do feel some effects. For one, and the most obvious, my sex drive has dropped abysmally. As a matter of fact I haven’t been able to draw much adult artwork lately because of this, but it really doesn’t bother me because I wasn’t even using it for any other reason. Haha. On the other, I have felt moments where I feel just a little sore on the chest, but there’s not a lot of visible growth yet…but I swear I do feel a little more “cushioned” in that area when I lay face down on my bed. Definitely not much has changed since I’m still just starting, but I am feeling so much better right now. I’m absolutely hoping things will work out fine later in life. I understand the luck I have in some ways and try not to be pushy about them. I know I can look androgynous and possibly even pass without hormones, I know my situation of friends and family have turned out to be more supportive than I had imagined, but what I am afraid of is time. In the later years I don’t know whether I’d be able to continue with passing, or if life will get harder, or if an accident occurs that could ruin it all. The thing is that I want to be ready and able to fend for myself at the right time should it happen. I’m constantly told how brave I am in this and how fast it’s been for me, but I have to say it’s not very easy for me either. I get stares whether or not I’m trying to pass, people openly debate what my gender is without considering to just ask me, and the sweeps and chest glances are so obvious. I did mention before that I didn’t mind much on being deadnamed or misgendered but now it feels like they’ve been beginning to gain their weight on me. All of my friends actively do their efforts to ensure they gender and name me correctly but my family doesn’t seem to be 100% on board in the matter. As of now though, I am glad to say that I finally opened a bank account and will be able to have full access to my paypal funds. Which means commissions will actually help fund my transition and I am very grateful to everyone who has commissioned me because of this very reason. Thank you all for the incredible support, I will be continuing on this journey as well as be bringing out my best of artwork for you.
Commission queue
Posted 6 years agoSeeing that I've been various messages on the matter. I'm going to post the queue here. I am open for commissions.
Offer:
Partial body
Flat color: $15 USD
Cell shaded: $20 USD
Full-body (anthro, multi or taur) simple/no bg
Lineart: $15 USD
Flat color: $25 USD
Cell shaded: $30 USD
Extra characters +$15 USD
Refsheet commissions
Partial refsheet, two poses $60 USD
Full refsheet including front, back, headshot and 1 miscellaneous pose/info: $80 USD
Queue:
2.
kiboe - sketch
3.
nameneko134 - sketch
4. [open]
5. [open]
Terms and Conditions:
What I can draw:
- Anthros (canids, felines, cervines, equines)
- Taurs
- Multi (to an extent, please specify. May cost as additional character)
- Humanoids (centaurs, satyrs)
- Exotic species in gallery (Vulpeer, hedsentales, aliluks, velokins)
- Transformation
- Alternative themes (Stretch, modularity, swaps, merges)
What I won't draw:
- Scat/Watersports
- Cub
- Violent Gore
- Serious acts of violence
- Political controversy or drama related
I can draw mature artwork (You must be over 18 for mature artwork or any artwork in general). I may be reluctant to draw adult work. Payment is via paypal. Contact me via Telegram (@Vixthefox) or notes for a slot. Telegram is highly preferable as communication is easier this way. Artwork will be displayed on Furaffinity, deviantArt (if clean), and Weasyl. I will take 5 slots maximum at a time, when a commission is finished, the slot will be free.
Please note, I sometimes work on two pieces simultaneously and there are cases in which they are not finished in the same order as the queue.
Offer:
Partial body
Flat color: $15 USD
Cell shaded: $20 USD
Full-body (anthro, multi or taur) simple/no bg
Lineart: $15 USD
Flat color: $25 USD
Cell shaded: $30 USD
Extra characters +$15 USD
Refsheet commissions
Partial refsheet, two poses $60 USD
Full refsheet including front, back, headshot and 1 miscellaneous pose/info: $80 USD
Queue:
2.
kiboe - sketch3.
nameneko134 - sketch4. [open]
5. [open]
Terms and Conditions:
What I can draw:
- Anthros (canids, felines, cervines, equines)
- Taurs
- Multi (to an extent, please specify. May cost as additional character)
- Humanoids (centaurs, satyrs)
- Exotic species in gallery (Vulpeer, hedsentales, aliluks, velokins)
- Transformation
- Alternative themes (Stretch, modularity, swaps, merges)
What I won't draw:
- Scat/Watersports
- Cub
- Violent Gore
- Serious acts of violence
- Political controversy or drama related
I can draw mature artwork (You must be over 18 for mature artwork or any artwork in general). I may be reluctant to draw adult work. Payment is via paypal. Contact me via Telegram (@Vixthefox) or notes for a slot. Telegram is highly preferable as communication is easier this way. Artwork will be displayed on Furaffinity, deviantArt (if clean), and Weasyl. I will take 5 slots maximum at a time, when a commission is finished, the slot will be free.
Please note, I sometimes work on two pieces simultaneously and there are cases in which they are not finished in the same order as the queue.
On commissions.
Posted 6 years agoSo, as you may have noticed. I've been getting busier in artwork. I've also been starting to take on quick commissions as of late. However I feel like I may need to raise the price of the flat colored commission to 25 USD. I've heard from some that I should raise my prices and I kind of agree. So, for now, I've been planning on this current offer:
Single character full body simple background:
Lineart: $15 USD
Flat color: $25 USD
Cell shaded: $30 USD
Extra characters +$15 USD
I would like to note that anybody who had reserved a slot before today (March 1st, 2019) are still at the former rates.
I've also been thinking of offering ref sheet commissions but haven't decided on prices yet. They will have a front, back, headshot and a miscellaneous pose. I could offer it between $50 to $75 USD but I'll need to see.
I haven't officially started the new queue but stay tuned for the upcoming journal. Do express your opinions on the pricing so I can be certain that they are fair.
Single character full body simple background:
Lineart: $15 USD
Flat color: $25 USD
Cell shaded: $30 USD
Extra characters +$15 USD
I would like to note that anybody who had reserved a slot before today (March 1st, 2019) are still at the former rates.
I've also been thinking of offering ref sheet commissions but haven't decided on prices yet. They will have a front, back, headshot and a miscellaneous pose. I could offer it between $50 to $75 USD but I'll need to see.
I haven't officially started the new queue but stay tuned for the upcoming journal. Do express your opinions on the pricing so I can be certain that they are fair.
Being trans pt. 2
Posted 6 years agoSo, it's been about 4 months since coming out as trans? Feels like it's been longer, then again I've felt like this for longer than coming out. Maybe since 12 or something? There were signs, and I was in denial until recently.
Since the last journal I've been hearing a lot from everyone and I'm really happy to have your support, you have all been so helpful and caring. I'm happy to be surrounded by great people. On another note, a lot of things have been happening. So, some interesting things have happened since, and plenty of stories to tell.
At the time of the last journal I still felt bad about myself. Trying to find a way to be myself. Wishing for things to start, trying to find the excuse to cut me out of my state and try to be me. I called for help, and contacted the local trans lifeline. Where I got oriented on some aspects, and was recommended a psychologist. I was a bit afraid to try to do anything, and well, I sent a message and waited. It took a while. So, the days went by, and I was getting very desperate. Sort of. I kept feeling horrible over the fact that I wanted to start transition, but felt like things weren't going to start or happen soon. I had looked up on a clinic in this city that is government funded, gives free treatment for HIV/AIDS and has a transgender clinic. I had heard of the place and been told of it, how tricky it is to be accepted into the clinic, how difficult it can be and what you have to do to prove to be trans. One morning I just woke up early and thought to myself, "screw it I'm not happy with who I am and I wasn't planning to live long enough so why not". I grabbed my skates and went to the clinic.
The place was bigger than I thought. A lot of people and doctors everywhere. I asked for directions and got pointed from door to door to try and get an appointment.. I had no idea what to do and I gave up and left...until I messaged in a local TG group asking if anyone would want to accompany me to the clinic to get an appointment. In a minute a friend told me he was there at the very moment getting his prescription. So I rushed back and we met up. It was nice to meet each other there, he guided me exactly where to go and I managed to nab an appointment for the next month, and I was in awe over the fact that something was done. I didn't start, but I did something.
So, the time moved on, and I was getting increasingly nervous. One whole month of waiting for this appointment, it was going to be an interview with a psychiatrist. I was sort of regretting this because I did this on impulse, I was doubting and questioning but I wanted this, while at the same time I was scared. But it was just an interview. On meeting the psychologist I was recommended I talked about it and they told me to go anyway. They knew how the clinic works and what they expect. How it's better to present to the interview as your gender and how they expect binary gender roles, etc, etc. They told me that for the experience, to just go as myself and be honest. Just to know what I'm going to face, and either way, I can't just waste an appointment.
So, the day finally comes, I just wore my usual skinny jeans, v-neck, and hoodie. I skated to the clinic for a small confidence booster. I handed the nurses the appointment slip and she sat me down and starts telling me what there is to do, that I'll be asked some personal questions and then I'll be tested if I do get past the interview. So I waited for the doctor (while filling out paperwork), and it took a bit. The doctor shows up and walks me to his office. He sits me down, and begins to ask me my legal name, preferred name and pronouns (Laura; she/her). Then asks me why I haven't changed my name yet and told him how I was afraid of the tedious process pre-transition as well as the roster changes for uni. He then tells me, "but, all of that takes a week, you don't have much to worry about, other than the dual-citizenship issue", and I just respond with a surprised, "wait, really?!". The doctor just nodded and types on the computer.He then went on with things like, head traumas, traumatic experiences (that was something), why I feel the way I do, and other things. He focused on my hair and asked about why I left it long and for how long. I just mentioned that I hated cutting it. It makes my face look blocky and puffed and weird. He nods some more and types some more. He then asked me what I expected of HRT and what I don't like about my body, while I mentioned how I wish I had a more femenine figure than what I have, I like that I have slight curves, but wish they were more pronounced. Being flat chested didn't bother me, but i did wish I had a little more bust. As well as how I hated my chin and eyes. He types more, and I'm sitting there in that room hoping things are ok. So he finally asks me, "but now, what do you want, what do expect from treatment?" and so I decided to explain, "I just want people to see me and call me miss, and ma'am. I just want to feel like myself and be myself. I want to look into a mirror and feel...connected to it and see me." So he looks at me, and then tells me, "hold on, I need to get something". He gets up and heads out, while I'm waiting there, sitting cross-legged and patient until he finally arrives with a fresh prescription notepad. He tells me, "Looks like we're going to have to do something about this, Laura" he writes up on the notepad and hands me his referral. I leave the office with the paper in hand and the nurses meet up with me. I'm just there, awestruck, and just smiling over the fact that I just got passed the hardest part. I just felt like I was on my way to something good. I just headed home, happy. I mean, it was something. The following week I just went over to turn in the referral along with some required documents and got the clinic pass, and a bunch of appointments.
So, things are going alright. I'm not super feminine, I can be comfortable in flowing between neutral and feminine, which I know is demigirl. I have the first appointment coming tomorrow for a blood test, then the next day an ultrasound, then the next some STD checks, and finally on the next month the endo appointment. I'm really counting on this, hoping all goes well. I'm told I'm already on the path to HRT, but I am super excited!
At times I still doubt myself because it's either I don't feel dysphoria very often and how other times I'm ok with being deadnamed and misgendered by people who don't know, while other times I wonder if I should really jump to HRT, but the thing is that I remind myself how I had been before going through the interview, how I had been at the time I had just watched from the sideline and felt so horrible over not doing anything about myself. I remind myself of what I was about to plan to get rid of the pains I had felt. Without doing anything and living in fear I know I wasn't going to make it. I've brushed very close ending myself in the past, and it gives me chills today to think about it. I know what I want and I know who I want to be. I am a little concerned over how the world will see me, and what new hurdles I'm going to have to face, but it's not something to stop me. I'm going to be my real self soon, how can you keep yourself from that?
Since the last journal I've been hearing a lot from everyone and I'm really happy to have your support, you have all been so helpful and caring. I'm happy to be surrounded by great people. On another note, a lot of things have been happening. So, some interesting things have happened since, and plenty of stories to tell.
At the time of the last journal I still felt bad about myself. Trying to find a way to be myself. Wishing for things to start, trying to find the excuse to cut me out of my state and try to be me. I called for help, and contacted the local trans lifeline. Where I got oriented on some aspects, and was recommended a psychologist. I was a bit afraid to try to do anything, and well, I sent a message and waited. It took a while. So, the days went by, and I was getting very desperate. Sort of. I kept feeling horrible over the fact that I wanted to start transition, but felt like things weren't going to start or happen soon. I had looked up on a clinic in this city that is government funded, gives free treatment for HIV/AIDS and has a transgender clinic. I had heard of the place and been told of it, how tricky it is to be accepted into the clinic, how difficult it can be and what you have to do to prove to be trans. One morning I just woke up early and thought to myself, "screw it I'm not happy with who I am and I wasn't planning to live long enough so why not". I grabbed my skates and went to the clinic.
The place was bigger than I thought. A lot of people and doctors everywhere. I asked for directions and got pointed from door to door to try and get an appointment.. I had no idea what to do and I gave up and left...until I messaged in a local TG group asking if anyone would want to accompany me to the clinic to get an appointment. In a minute a friend told me he was there at the very moment getting his prescription. So I rushed back and we met up. It was nice to meet each other there, he guided me exactly where to go and I managed to nab an appointment for the next month, and I was in awe over the fact that something was done. I didn't start, but I did something.
So, the time moved on, and I was getting increasingly nervous. One whole month of waiting for this appointment, it was going to be an interview with a psychiatrist. I was sort of regretting this because I did this on impulse, I was doubting and questioning but I wanted this, while at the same time I was scared. But it was just an interview. On meeting the psychologist I was recommended I talked about it and they told me to go anyway. They knew how the clinic works and what they expect. How it's better to present to the interview as your gender and how they expect binary gender roles, etc, etc. They told me that for the experience, to just go as myself and be honest. Just to know what I'm going to face, and either way, I can't just waste an appointment.
So, the day finally comes, I just wore my usual skinny jeans, v-neck, and hoodie. I skated to the clinic for a small confidence booster. I handed the nurses the appointment slip and she sat me down and starts telling me what there is to do, that I'll be asked some personal questions and then I'll be tested if I do get past the interview. So I waited for the doctor (while filling out paperwork), and it took a bit. The doctor shows up and walks me to his office. He sits me down, and begins to ask me my legal name, preferred name and pronouns (Laura; she/her). Then asks me why I haven't changed my name yet and told him how I was afraid of the tedious process pre-transition as well as the roster changes for uni. He then tells me, "but, all of that takes a week, you don't have much to worry about, other than the dual-citizenship issue", and I just respond with a surprised, "wait, really?!". The doctor just nodded and types on the computer.He then went on with things like, head traumas, traumatic experiences (that was something), why I feel the way I do, and other things. He focused on my hair and asked about why I left it long and for how long. I just mentioned that I hated cutting it. It makes my face look blocky and puffed and weird. He nods some more and types some more. He then asked me what I expected of HRT and what I don't like about my body, while I mentioned how I wish I had a more femenine figure than what I have, I like that I have slight curves, but wish they were more pronounced. Being flat chested didn't bother me, but i did wish I had a little more bust. As well as how I hated my chin and eyes. He types more, and I'm sitting there in that room hoping things are ok. So he finally asks me, "but now, what do you want, what do expect from treatment?" and so I decided to explain, "I just want people to see me and call me miss, and ma'am. I just want to feel like myself and be myself. I want to look into a mirror and feel...connected to it and see me." So he looks at me, and then tells me, "hold on, I need to get something". He gets up and heads out, while I'm waiting there, sitting cross-legged and patient until he finally arrives with a fresh prescription notepad. He tells me, "Looks like we're going to have to do something about this, Laura" he writes up on the notepad and hands me his referral. I leave the office with the paper in hand and the nurses meet up with me. I'm just there, awestruck, and just smiling over the fact that I just got passed the hardest part. I just felt like I was on my way to something good. I just headed home, happy. I mean, it was something. The following week I just went over to turn in the referral along with some required documents and got the clinic pass, and a bunch of appointments.
So, things are going alright. I'm not super feminine, I can be comfortable in flowing between neutral and feminine, which I know is demigirl. I have the first appointment coming tomorrow for a blood test, then the next day an ultrasound, then the next some STD checks, and finally on the next month the endo appointment. I'm really counting on this, hoping all goes well. I'm told I'm already on the path to HRT, but I am super excited!
At times I still doubt myself because it's either I don't feel dysphoria very often and how other times I'm ok with being deadnamed and misgendered by people who don't know, while other times I wonder if I should really jump to HRT, but the thing is that I remind myself how I had been before going through the interview, how I had been at the time I had just watched from the sideline and felt so horrible over not doing anything about myself. I remind myself of what I was about to plan to get rid of the pains I had felt. Without doing anything and living in fear I know I wasn't going to make it. I've brushed very close ending myself in the past, and it gives me chills today to think about it. I know what I want and I know who I want to be. I am a little concerned over how the world will see me, and what new hurdles I'm going to have to face, but it's not something to stop me. I'm going to be my real self soon, how can you keep yourself from that?
Being trans.
Posted 7 years agoI just wanted to say a couple things. Of course, I'm repeating a lot of what I've said in the last couple months, or maybe year if you know me well enough.
So, things have been interesting lately. Especially with coming out as transgender. I mean, it's a teensy bit like coming out as gay but it's a whole lot of more extra. I mostly came out after having a depressed fit and out of the blue asked a friend if I could ever be happy with how I looked. In the end I had to look at the perspective in which if I had the chance to look and act like a woman, would I be happier? The thing is that after this moment, I realize I could have come out earlier. The signs were all there, but I was always afraid to consider it. In the end I realized that I was hurting myself from staying in such a denial. I'm out though. I don't know why it's like this. At times I feel like, huh, but what if I just want to be normal? But I'll fall back to the same thing. My normal has never been the majority's normal, but that's ok. After having learned some new things I've come to terms of knowing that of course I can't make the world or others see me as how I wish, but I can at least be nicer to myself and just say fuck it, this is me. I had always had the feeling that I was outside of the world, a step back from the people around me and only watching them, longing to be part of it by being something real. I had faked the things I liked, the way I'd act, the way I'd speak to make myself invisible to those who could hurt me. I only hurt myself by locking myself down.
So, here I am now. Two months since coming out. I really should see some kind of professional to help guide me to know what I should do next. I honestly don't even know if it's ok to say I'm transgender by just saying it myself or if I have to go to some doctor to tell me, "yep, you're trans, here's your note". I don't know. In all honesty, I'd prefer to be seen as a woman, referred by female pronouns, and have the full and clear appearance of a woman. Of course, that is a long time from now. Yet at this age of 27 I don't know how well the plan would work for me. The actual treatments and body work is still a very long way from where I am on my journey as I'm just starting to experiment with the simple things. Even the simple things have been an adventure itself. From removing the long restraint of the way I prefer to walk and talk to learning how to do the things I truly want to do and that truly make me feel happy. Even though many people say that no object should be restricted to gender, I want to do things that would make me appear more feminine. Like getting earrings, learning how to use makeup, wear the clothing, fix my hair, do anything it takes to pass without treatment. It's been difficult and I've rarely done enough IRL other than buy some 3 articles, paint my nails and acting with less restraint.
Then there are /those/ days. The days I feel desperate, the days that are the same as before I came to the realization. Where I feel hopeless and doubting. The times in which I feel like I should give up on this and continue life as how I had before. Of course, it'd be easier for me, less people against me, less trouble, more normality; yet I remember that I'm only going to feel miserable from this life, no matter how successful it could become. In the end this is some kind of journey I've been having so far. It's not about just wanting to be a woman, crossdressing, or changing your body. It's about wanting to be me with no regrets and full joy. And it's been crazy, but interesting.
And it's also been difficult. Mostly trying to talk to someone about it, all because I feel like I have such a hard time having the right words to describe how I feel, or how my experience is like in this. It's either that someone doesn't completely understand, that I haven't done enough to prove it, or that I've waited for too long to be able to do anything anymore. It's difficult to talk to someone about it sometimes. And of course, I'm in support groups, I talk to people online, and I mention how I feel in both negative and positive moments. But at times I feel like I'm either super certain that I am a transgender woman and other times I feel like I could be faking it all for attention. But nobody in their right mind would be happy to be mistaken for the other gender often and deliberately try to subtly make themselves androgynous to make that happen more often. But then again, I'm not offended to be referred as male, I just get happier to be referred as female. Do I just not suffer from that kind of problem? Am I really feeling dysphoria? Is dysphoria just feeling bad about my broad shoulders, or can it also be the feeling of missing out and getting left behind when I see someone else advance in their journey? In the end, I may be something on a spectrum, or maybe I just haven't gone far enough to be on a complete binary. But like I said, I just want to be me.
So, things have been interesting lately. Especially with coming out as transgender. I mean, it's a teensy bit like coming out as gay but it's a whole lot of more extra. I mostly came out after having a depressed fit and out of the blue asked a friend if I could ever be happy with how I looked. In the end I had to look at the perspective in which if I had the chance to look and act like a woman, would I be happier? The thing is that after this moment, I realize I could have come out earlier. The signs were all there, but I was always afraid to consider it. In the end I realized that I was hurting myself from staying in such a denial. I'm out though. I don't know why it's like this. At times I feel like, huh, but what if I just want to be normal? But I'll fall back to the same thing. My normal has never been the majority's normal, but that's ok. After having learned some new things I've come to terms of knowing that of course I can't make the world or others see me as how I wish, but I can at least be nicer to myself and just say fuck it, this is me. I had always had the feeling that I was outside of the world, a step back from the people around me and only watching them, longing to be part of it by being something real. I had faked the things I liked, the way I'd act, the way I'd speak to make myself invisible to those who could hurt me. I only hurt myself by locking myself down.
So, here I am now. Two months since coming out. I really should see some kind of professional to help guide me to know what I should do next. I honestly don't even know if it's ok to say I'm transgender by just saying it myself or if I have to go to some doctor to tell me, "yep, you're trans, here's your note". I don't know. In all honesty, I'd prefer to be seen as a woman, referred by female pronouns, and have the full and clear appearance of a woman. Of course, that is a long time from now. Yet at this age of 27 I don't know how well the plan would work for me. The actual treatments and body work is still a very long way from where I am on my journey as I'm just starting to experiment with the simple things. Even the simple things have been an adventure itself. From removing the long restraint of the way I prefer to walk and talk to learning how to do the things I truly want to do and that truly make me feel happy. Even though many people say that no object should be restricted to gender, I want to do things that would make me appear more feminine. Like getting earrings, learning how to use makeup, wear the clothing, fix my hair, do anything it takes to pass without treatment. It's been difficult and I've rarely done enough IRL other than buy some 3 articles, paint my nails and acting with less restraint.
Then there are /those/ days. The days I feel desperate, the days that are the same as before I came to the realization. Where I feel hopeless and doubting. The times in which I feel like I should give up on this and continue life as how I had before. Of course, it'd be easier for me, less people against me, less trouble, more normality; yet I remember that I'm only going to feel miserable from this life, no matter how successful it could become. In the end this is some kind of journey I've been having so far. It's not about just wanting to be a woman, crossdressing, or changing your body. It's about wanting to be me with no regrets and full joy. And it's been crazy, but interesting.
And it's also been difficult. Mostly trying to talk to someone about it, all because I feel like I have such a hard time having the right words to describe how I feel, or how my experience is like in this. It's either that someone doesn't completely understand, that I haven't done enough to prove it, or that I've waited for too long to be able to do anything anymore. It's difficult to talk to someone about it sometimes. And of course, I'm in support groups, I talk to people online, and I mention how I feel in both negative and positive moments. But at times I feel like I'm either super certain that I am a transgender woman and other times I feel like I could be faking it all for attention. But nobody in their right mind would be happy to be mistaken for the other gender often and deliberately try to subtly make themselves androgynous to make that happen more often. But then again, I'm not offended to be referred as male, I just get happier to be referred as female. Do I just not suffer from that kind of problem? Am I really feeling dysphoria? Is dysphoria just feeling bad about my broad shoulders, or can it also be the feeling of missing out and getting left behind when I see someone else advance in their journey? In the end, I may be something on a spectrum, or maybe I just haven't gone far enough to be on a complete binary. But like I said, I just want to be me.
Commission Queue [FULL]
Posted 8 years agoHeyo! Since last night I've reopened commissions now that I have time!
I've decided to extend the amount of open slots after recent requests.
Slots have been filled. I'll reopen once I've finished this round.
The offer:
Flat color of 1 char fullbody: $15USD
Additional characters: +$10USD
Shading: +$5USD
Queue:
- this round has ended -
What I can draw:
- Anthros (canids, felines, cervines, equines)
- Taurs
- Multi (to an extent, please specify)
- Humanoids (centaurs, satyrs)
- Vulpeer
- Transformation
What I won't draw:
- Scat/Watersports
- Cub
- Gore
- Political controversy or drama related
I can draw mature artwork (You must be over 18 for mature artwork or any artwork in general). I may be reluctant to draw adult work. Payment is via paypal. Contact me via Telegram or notes for a slot. Artwork will be displayed on Furaffinity, deviantArt (if clean), and Weasyl.
Please note, I sometimes work on two pieces simultaneously and there are cases in which they are not finished in the same order as the queue.
I've decided to extend the amount of open slots after recent requests.
Slots have been filled. I'll reopen once I've finished this round.
The offer:
Flat color of 1 char fullbody: $15USD
Additional characters: +$10USD
Shading: +$5USD
Queue:
- this round has ended -
What I can draw:
- Anthros (canids, felines, cervines, equines)
- Taurs
- Multi (to an extent, please specify)
- Humanoids (centaurs, satyrs)
- Vulpeer
- Transformation
What I won't draw:
- Scat/Watersports
- Cub
- Gore
- Political controversy or drama related
I can draw mature artwork (You must be over 18 for mature artwork or any artwork in general). I may be reluctant to draw adult work. Payment is via paypal. Contact me via Telegram or notes for a slot. Artwork will be displayed on Furaffinity, deviantArt (if clean), and Weasyl.
Please note, I sometimes work on two pieces simultaneously and there are cases in which they are not finished in the same order as the queue.
Updates
Posted 8 years agoHello there! It's the vulpeer!
Since the last journal, things have been quite a rollercoaster. Mostly been a few little life problems that have held me back from some things. However, now that I've taken care of some school business and made some peace with a few troubles, I'm back to drawing! :D There's some stuff coming soon too.
First of all, I'm continuing my commission queue, so yay! Sorry I've taken so long. o.o; and also, I've had some new ideas for artwork.
On one part I got more vulpeer art in the planning which includes a species ref as well as maybe a new character. :3 Hopefully this can become a good project of mine. Secondly, I've been really afraid of admitting it elsewhere, but since I was about 12 or so, I've had this fascination toward satyrs, like before I even knew what they were. I had found it really interesting how it'd be like to just be part animal, but still hanging on to your human part. I've kind of been building some courage to draw myself as a fox or deer satyr, so chances are that there may be art of that as well. If that is I can get the courage to do it. My telegram sketch channel is showing that I am, so hopefully I can make some TF comics. >.> Well that's all for this journal, gotta get some stuff done. Cya!
Since the last journal, things have been quite a rollercoaster. Mostly been a few little life problems that have held me back from some things. However, now that I've taken care of some school business and made some peace with a few troubles, I'm back to drawing! :D There's some stuff coming soon too.
First of all, I'm continuing my commission queue, so yay! Sorry I've taken so long. o.o; and also, I've had some new ideas for artwork.
On one part I got more vulpeer art in the planning which includes a species ref as well as maybe a new character. :3 Hopefully this can become a good project of mine. Secondly, I've been really afraid of admitting it elsewhere, but since I was about 12 or so, I've had this fascination toward satyrs, like before I even knew what they were. I had found it really interesting how it'd be like to just be part animal, but still hanging on to your human part. I've kind of been building some courage to draw myself as a fox or deer satyr, so chances are that there may be art of that as well. If that is I can get the courage to do it. My telegram sketch channel is showing that I am, so hopefully I can make some TF comics. >.> Well that's all for this journal, gotta get some stuff done. Cya!
More things! And commissions.
Posted 8 years agoSo things have gotten better personally. I mean, life isn't feeling so stale as it was a few days ago. I just need to be a bit more social now. So...
Also, a reminder that commissions are still open! I have 0/5 slots open for this round. Offer still stands at the current https://www.furaffinity.net/commissions/vixthefox/
Also, a reminder that commissions are still open! I have 0/5 slots open for this round. Offer still stands at the current https://www.furaffinity.net/commissions/vixthefox/
Things!
Posted 8 years agoHere I am! Writing a new journal entry, because I don't write enough.
What is there to talk about? In events, I almost jumped out the window a few days ago. On the personal level, I feel like my life is falling apart and getting lonelier and lonelier by the day. Aside from that I also find myself getting lost, overly sad, and extremely judgemental of those around me. It's like the world has gotten so stale and boring it makes me sad. Then I was told that's what being an adult is like, so yay! I'm mature! *walks off to room to sob in secret*
*walks back in*
So! Vacation has begun! Pretty excited for it. It's been a crazy set of weeks, er, well months. ...Ok, year. But that's not much of a good topic to talk about. I really need new ideas to draw, since I've just been sketching random poses. It's fun, but would be great to have a piece of artwork with more than just a single character pose. I haven't made a complete drawing for myself in a while either. That should be fixed as well.
And now, vulpeer! Oh man, I really want to get started on them. I just don't know how. I love making things up, I mean, not in a lying sense. I mean, like, coming up with a world, and character interactions and stuff like that. I know vulpeer are hunters, but what would they hunt? My guess, some freaky creature thing that has useful bits like meat and leather? Huh, I should think this through more.
I've been skating again, so yay for that. OH! I just remembered, my sister moved out so my brother now has his own room which means I have my own room! Yay!!!!! I could probably stream uninterrupted, and draw as long as I want. All of that stuff! :D
If you read this far, you get a cookie! :3
What is there to talk about? In events, I almost jumped out the window a few days ago. On the personal level, I feel like my life is falling apart and getting lonelier and lonelier by the day. Aside from that I also find myself getting lost, overly sad, and extremely judgemental of those around me. It's like the world has gotten so stale and boring it makes me sad. Then I was told that's what being an adult is like, so yay! I'm mature! *walks off to room to sob in secret*
*walks back in*
So! Vacation has begun! Pretty excited for it. It's been a crazy set of weeks, er, well months. ...Ok, year. But that's not much of a good topic to talk about. I really need new ideas to draw, since I've just been sketching random poses. It's fun, but would be great to have a piece of artwork with more than just a single character pose. I haven't made a complete drawing for myself in a while either. That should be fixed as well.
And now, vulpeer! Oh man, I really want to get started on them. I just don't know how. I love making things up, I mean, not in a lying sense. I mean, like, coming up with a world, and character interactions and stuff like that. I know vulpeer are hunters, but what would they hunt? My guess, some freaky creature thing that has useful bits like meat and leather? Huh, I should think this through more.
I've been skating again, so yay for that. OH! I just remembered, my sister moved out so my brother now has his own room which means I have my own room! Yay!!!!! I could probably stream uninterrupted, and draw as long as I want. All of that stuff! :D
If you read this far, you get a cookie! :3
JOURNAL!
Posted 8 years agoBecause I don't write them often.
So! How have things been going? Eh, more or less. I mean, *queue sad music* at times I fall into this strange anxiety where I'm looking down at a pitched black bottomless hole where a voice from nowhere tells me there is no point in living and all of my pitiful existence is not worth continuing... *stop music* But! I snap out of it, so that's good, I guess. heh...it's just things...that happen...
So, end of semester is coming, and it's one heck of a smash. I have to finish up two projects and get another thing done. I'll be a bit slow in commissions this week (unless a thing happens and I speed up). I have many doodles to show, or have shown on twitter. Would it be alright to put them in my scraps? They're very scribbly. On another note, I really want to continue on adding new things to my vulpeer species, and I have many things planned like where they come from, what they do, what they eat, how weird can they be, etc.
Although, do you see vulpeer as an adventurer/hunter kind of group? Like the kind that hunt crazy game and do trades with passerby's? Huh, what time are they from? I have many questions, and they're my species! D:
Not many read these, you get a cookie if you did. cya!
So! How have things been going? Eh, more or less. I mean, *queue sad music* at times I fall into this strange anxiety where I'm looking down at a pitched black bottomless hole where a voice from nowhere tells me there is no point in living and all of my pitiful existence is not worth continuing... *stop music* But! I snap out of it, so that's good, I guess. heh...it's just things...that happen...
So, end of semester is coming, and it's one heck of a smash. I have to finish up two projects and get another thing done. I'll be a bit slow in commissions this week (unless a thing happens and I speed up). I have many doodles to show, or have shown on twitter. Would it be alright to put them in my scraps? They're very scribbly. On another note, I really want to continue on adding new things to my vulpeer species, and I have many things planned like where they come from, what they do, what they eat, how weird can they be, etc.
Although, do you see vulpeer as an adventurer/hunter kind of group? Like the kind that hunt crazy game and do trades with passerby's? Huh, what time are they from? I have many questions, and they're my species! D:
Not many read these, you get a cookie if you did. cya!
Things are better.
Posted 8 years agoHeyo!
Things have gotten better. That is what there is to say. After what's happened things have been calming down. They aren't exactly normal, but there is a form of peace again. I'm going to be pretty busy again due to uni again, but I'm almost out! :D So there's some good news for the moment. As of now I'm currently studying analog electronics where it's lots of math and measuring. I'm actually enjoying it. I'll be returning to artwork again as soon as I figure out how to organize my time with this interesting schedule. Cya!
Things have gotten better. That is what there is to say. After what's happened things have been calming down. They aren't exactly normal, but there is a form of peace again. I'm going to be pretty busy again due to uni again, but I'm almost out! :D So there's some good news for the moment. As of now I'm currently studying analog electronics where it's lots of math and measuring. I'm actually enjoying it. I'll be returning to artwork again as soon as I figure out how to organize my time with this interesting schedule. Cya!
Uncertain things.
Posted 8 years agoSo it's been a crazy weekend. I can't really explain it all in detail as it's a rather sensitive subject. I've been having a bit of family trouble right at the moment when my current quarter in Uni is beginning. I've been overly occupied over both of these matters that have taken up the majority of my time. As of now, I'm in a situation where I have to use the most of my strength to get through it and chances are that art may be slow or may not be showing within a certain time. I'll try to stick around Twitter for a while as I might have some time to simply create some sketches. As of now I'll be a bit busy with family matters and school.
Thank you all for you understanding and your time.
Thank you all for you understanding and your time.
A new round of commmissions!
Posted 8 years agoYes! They are open! Now, here's what I'm thinking of...
So, I have seen that there are quite a few out there who would like more art from me, and I would be glad to take more commissions. I've already begun to take another two commissions outside of the last round, and I believe I could try and take commissions in a more lax way.
So, first of all, the same offer as the last round still stands. https://www.furaffinity.net/commissions/vixthefox/
I also want to offer some of my sketchdoodles that I've posted on twitter as YCH's since I haven't had the motivation to complete or color them, so why not? I have yet to decide on the price for those. I'll be posting the offer soon.
Contact me on Telegram (@Vixthefox), Twitter DM, or FA notes for commission.
So, I have seen that there are quite a few out there who would like more art from me, and I would be glad to take more commissions. I've already begun to take another two commissions outside of the last round, and I believe I could try and take commissions in a more lax way.
So, first of all, the same offer as the last round still stands. https://www.furaffinity.net/commissions/vixthefox/
I also want to offer some of my sketchdoodles that I've posted on twitter as YCH's since I haven't had the motivation to complete or color them, so why not? I have yet to decide on the price for those. I'll be posting the offer soon.
Contact me on Telegram (@Vixthefox), Twitter DM, or FA notes for commission.
Commissions Open! (now closed)
Posted 9 years agoPlease note that my current schedule is quite tight and may take a while to finish on your piece. Do pester me on telegram (Vixthefox) if I seem to be taking a while!
Current offer here: http://www.furaffinity.net/commissions/vixthefox/
Commissions.
Posted 9 years agoI plan to open them soon. $15 for flat colored of your character. Payment via PayPal. Anthros, ferals and taurs welcome! Keep an eye on this journal for slots!
Just need to prepare a couple of things and then we'll be all set! :3
Just need to prepare a couple of things and then we'll be all set! :3
Aliluks.
Posted 9 years agoSo, did you know I have a custom species? I mean, if you've seen my scraps:
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/17288515/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/13600216/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/12454421/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/12890621/
you know that they're like elongated feathered porcupines. However, there's a lot more about them and how they influence my artwork. I really wish I could show them off a lot more than just as sketches. They're crazy awesome things. They can shapeshift, imitate light, heck they can even induce transformation and cause really weird things on the world, themselves, and victims if they wish ;).
The other thing is the fact that my fursona isn't just a foxtaur, but is actually one of these aliluks, and there's a whole lot about him that most don't really know, aside from a handful of friends. :P The problem has been the whole trouble of trying to make an entire connected universe where all of my characters just mess around in. And that is REALLY hard to work with. I mean, aliluks practically affect a lot...
For the Silhouettes canon, they're the influence of velokins (another shapeshifting species) and help them with their daily lives.
Aliluks caused Marco's modularity, and Piezo's techno-entrapment.
And they have a lot more crazy things, especially with Toc who should be drawn more. (thankfully
accidentalfox has been doing that often. :3)
So, should I draw more Vixiluk? Or a species-ref?
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/17288515/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/13600216/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/12454421/
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/12890621/
you know that they're like elongated feathered porcupines. However, there's a lot more about them and how they influence my artwork. I really wish I could show them off a lot more than just as sketches. They're crazy awesome things. They can shapeshift, imitate light, heck they can even induce transformation and cause really weird things on the world, themselves, and victims if they wish ;).
The other thing is the fact that my fursona isn't just a foxtaur, but is actually one of these aliluks, and there's a whole lot about him that most don't really know, aside from a handful of friends. :P The problem has been the whole trouble of trying to make an entire connected universe where all of my characters just mess around in. And that is REALLY hard to work with. I mean, aliluks practically affect a lot...
For the Silhouettes canon, they're the influence of velokins (another shapeshifting species) and help them with their daily lives.
Aliluks caused Marco's modularity, and Piezo's techno-entrapment.
And they have a lot more crazy things, especially with Toc who should be drawn more. (thankfully
accidentalfox has been doing that often. :3)So, should I draw more Vixiluk? Or a species-ref?
Things to do
Posted 9 years agoI want to do things. Maybe one of those things might include drawing, hopefully.
Not entirely sure what else there is to say. As of right now I'd like to draw things for myself and try to be less self conscious of my artwork and technique. Been out of the vibe for too long. Might as well get started again. Hello, vacation. :>
Not entirely sure what else there is to say. As of right now I'd like to draw things for myself and try to be less self conscious of my artwork and technique. Been out of the vibe for too long. Might as well get started again. Hello, vacation. :>
Not an artist.
Posted 9 years agoI've been having this pester me for while, until I've come to a final conclusion: I am not an artist.
I mean this by the fact that I'm just not what an artist is supposed to be. An artist is someone who can creatively project anything in a creative work. They have the complete skill set and discipline to put out a creative work.
In my case, I only know how to draw anthro animals, and maybe in different poses but I know nothing about composition, color, shading, etc. I'm not a creative, nor am I capable of making any sort of concept into something else. I just draw, and that's it. What I do makes me as much as an artist as anyone who pours a bowl of cereal can call themselves a chef. I wasn't meant to be a creative, despite the ideas I've never gotten out to actually make. I suppose I could be called anything else that is more relevant to whatever it is I do, but I definitely am not an artist. I don't think I'll be posting as constantly as I used anymore.
I mean this by the fact that I'm just not what an artist is supposed to be. An artist is someone who can creatively project anything in a creative work. They have the complete skill set and discipline to put out a creative work.
In my case, I only know how to draw anthro animals, and maybe in different poses but I know nothing about composition, color, shading, etc. I'm not a creative, nor am I capable of making any sort of concept into something else. I just draw, and that's it. What I do makes me as much as an artist as anyone who pours a bowl of cereal can call themselves a chef. I wasn't meant to be a creative, despite the ideas I've never gotten out to actually make. I suppose I could be called anything else that is more relevant to whatever it is I do, but I definitely am not an artist. I don't think I'll be posting as constantly as I used anymore.
State of things.
Posted 9 years agoSo, to start off I'm 25 since March. Yay!
In other news, I've been thinking of trying to draw again. Possibly more Piezo and the gadget crazed taur (he still needs a name too.) So yeah, yay ideas!
Now onto the next part. Seeing how FA has had a rough week there have been many who have been moving over to other sites such as weasyl, dA, soFurry, etc.
In my case, I don't really have that much of an incentive to call out a leave or move since the frequency of my uploads are low. However, should another site turn out to make me more active there than on here then by then there'll be a difference.
Anywho, if you decide to move out or anything, I can be found around these places too:
http://vixthefox.deviantart.com/
https://www.weasyl.com/~vixthefox
https://beta.furrynetwork.com/vixvulpes
not saying that I'm leaving, just saying that if you decide to leave elsewhere, you can find me around there. XD
Oh, also I doodle things on my twitter sometimes too!
I think that's all, cya! nwn
In other news, I've been thinking of trying to draw again. Possibly more Piezo and the gadget crazed taur (he still needs a name too.) So yeah, yay ideas!
Now onto the next part. Seeing how FA has had a rough week there have been many who have been moving over to other sites such as weasyl, dA, soFurry, etc.
In my case, I don't really have that much of an incentive to call out a leave or move since the frequency of my uploads are low. However, should another site turn out to make me more active there than on here then by then there'll be a difference.
Anywho, if you decide to move out or anything, I can be found around these places too:
http://vixthefox.deviantart.com/
https://www.weasyl.com/~vixthefox
https://beta.furrynetwork.com/vixvulpes
not saying that I'm leaving, just saying that if you decide to leave elsewhere, you can find me around there. XD
Oh, also I doodle things on my twitter sometimes too!
I think that's all, cya! nwn
Thoughts, plans, and the return to local meets
Posted 10 years agoHeyo!
So generally, things have been going really well for me. It's like a long streak of good art days which I haven't had in like a year! :O Anyway, things have gotten much less depressing thanks to the fact that I've gotten over my heartbreaks and finally know what I want in life. And that's it for now. I've had a busy schedule but it's turned out to be super light that I can actually practice slalom AND make artwork this semester! It's so different, heck I probably even have time to hang out. It's totally great because I have so many new ideas to draw and possibly time to open commissions once again (which may be at about ~$15-$20 USD). Heck, I even have a comic I'm working on along with a new character to mess with in said project. X3
In another subject, it may not be well known, but I've been avoiding local furmeets in the D.F. for a couple of personal reasons. However, I've noticed that some things have cooled down that I might try to visit another meetup or fest again in the future. Maybe the next Furry Summer Mexico or a winter event (if there is going to be one...) Can't be sure. I should probably look into opening badge commissions or make stuff for that. Also, how many taurfurs are there in Mexico anyway? I feel like an endangered species. xD Although, I can't really promise anything here, so there might be a chance that I may just change my mind and just wait a few more years to go to a U.S. con.
In the end, there is much to do so I'm off to do stuff! :D
So generally, things have been going really well for me. It's like a long streak of good art days which I haven't had in like a year! :O Anyway, things have gotten much less depressing thanks to the fact that I've gotten over my heartbreaks and finally know what I want in life. And that's it for now. I've had a busy schedule but it's turned out to be super light that I can actually practice slalom AND make artwork this semester! It's so different, heck I probably even have time to hang out. It's totally great because I have so many new ideas to draw and possibly time to open commissions once again (which may be at about ~$15-$20 USD). Heck, I even have a comic I'm working on along with a new character to mess with in said project. X3
In another subject, it may not be well known, but I've been avoiding local furmeets in the D.F. for a couple of personal reasons. However, I've noticed that some things have cooled down that I might try to visit another meetup or fest again in the future. Maybe the next Furry Summer Mexico or a winter event (if there is going to be one...) Can't be sure. I should probably look into opening badge commissions or make stuff for that. Also, how many taurfurs are there in Mexico anyway? I feel like an endangered species. xD Although, I can't really promise anything here, so there might be a chance that I may just change my mind and just wait a few more years to go to a U.S. con.
In the end, there is much to do so I'm off to do stuff! :D
Commissions have opened. [Now closed]
Posted 10 years agoAs of right now, 5 slots are now available for flat colored simple background commissions (clean only). Opening price for the first slots are $5USD. Payment via paypal. Just note or chat(if you have me on AIM or Telegram) for contact. ^^
Slots:
1.
RenardThatch [ Paid - Done! ]
2.
ShredVenita [ Paid - Done! ]
3.
RobLF [ Paid - Done! ]
EDIT: Requests for new slots have closed.
Slots:
1.
RenardThatch [ Paid - Done! ]2.
ShredVenita [ Paid - Done! ]3.
RobLF [ Paid - Done! ]EDIT: Requests for new slots have closed.
Commissions
Posted 10 years agoI have the plan to open up $5 flat color commissions, possibly 4 slots for now. I'm really new to commission offers so I'm starting out small. They'll be open as soon as I announce it.
I need to get drawing again
Posted 10 years agoI'm starting to get a little desperate. I've been trying, but most of the time I end up just sitting in front of the monitor, staring at the blank canvas. And then I end up in youtube. ;~;
I really want to do something, but I just can't even come up with an idea. xP
I really want to do something, but I just can't even come up with an idea. xP
