Been a while, and felt like writing something again. This is going to be an unhappy journal about the unhappy things I am going through, so if you don't want to read that, stop here.

At the end of 2023, I was gotten rid of by people I thought were my friends, and I ended up hurting someone I adored with how overly emotional I am. This wasn't the first time something like this has happened, but this time it was a major tipping point for me. I can only imagine it was because of how I hurt and drifted away from that person who was so special to me, past trauma, and the death of one of my friends earlier that same year.

Since that day I have significantly changed for the worse. My mental health has deteriorated substantially, even worse than it was before. I have developed new problems, and others that I haven't had since I was a kid have suddenly come back stronger than ever since then.

I have realized I am autistic after being told that it was obvious by one of those same people, and I can't help but wonder if things would have been different if I wasn't like this.

So in the like two and a half years since then, I've become very withdrawn, unable to enjoy things, and afraid to let myself get close to anyone. Motivation to commission art has been scarce, part of the anhedonia I've been feeling.

Positive change since then has been minor and very slow. I am still haunted by the things that have happened.

Anyway, that's what's been up with me.