Since my depression was at a new-time low, and after a flare-up-like episode of whatever I have that wasn't triggered by anything for once, I decided it was time to head to the ER this past Wednesday. The fortunate part is the fact that I do not have cancer or diabetes (which were my two biggest fears). In fact, I'm pretty much perfectly fine aside from the fact that the cyst on my left ovary has grown since my last ultrasound back in 2012. So the suspicion that I have endometriosis regarding that still remains. But as far as life-threatening shit, I'm good and I'll live.

However, there are other symptoms that make me question if endometriosis may not be the only thing I have (if I have it at all; I still need the laparoscopic surgery to find out for sure). After looking up symptoms and stuff, I've found that I may have Lupus.

KEEP THIS IN MIND: I am not saying that "I have this and this because the internet told me so." This is all speculation based on my own experiences and observations that I feel are worth bringing up to the doctor(s). Because I am poor and don't have insurance, I cannot find shit out right away and needed something to start with. But the good news is that this hospital in Pittsburgh that I'm going to? They will work out a payment plan with patients who don't have insurance, which means I'm going to get shit done about my health and see what's going on.

Honestly, I wanna get rid of my uterus. I'm not gonna use it, and it's done nothing but give me problems. I'm sick of having periods, as they not only cost money to maintain, but periods are the whole reason why I've failed some of my classes in the past because I couldn't make it to class, and nearly cost me losing my first job multiple times. I don't want kids, so why keep the stupid organ? I fucking hate it.

I'm gonna wait until Monday to make the phone call to schedule my appointments: one for the PCP, one for the gyno. I wanna be able to have strength and energy to do stuff again, damnit. I'm sick of not being able to work out consistently because of periods or lack of energy.