I want to write a major apology.

I've also sent refunds to everyone I could find. Please, if you participated and haven't gotten a refund, please let me know. I think I'm missing two people. I couldn't find the emails to send a refund to.

I really fucked up and dropped the ball on this one and I am so, so incredibly sorry. This isn't an excuse, this is just an explanation so hopefully you'll understand why I behaved like I did.

My life hit the shitter pretty hard in fall of 2016 and I shouldn't have blacked out on my online presence like I did. My dad disowned me in October and then he promptly died in November. I lost my job in January and I landed myself in a psych ward by March. Been in and out of therapy since, trying lots of meds and moving across state, etc.

I've been stone cold terrified to even log on to this account because I feel like such a failure to you and the others for this piece. I'm so sorry. I tried to come back on, logged on a few times.. But the anxiety made me sick to the point of wanting to throw up. I've literally not been right in the head for several years. Off and on a dozen different antidepressants, multiple surgeries and a few organs removed.

I am finally feeling physically better and I'm on a new medication that makes my head a lot clearer. I have been working in therapy to address stuff and I wanted to come on to apologize and try to make this situation right. My anxiety and mental health made me panic and I did really stupid things, including avoiding this account and my responsibilities to those who participated in the pillow fight ych.

It wasn't right of me to go MIA.

Again, I'm really sorry. I know I'm shit for having vanished like that. I'm trying to be better now. Let me know if I can do anything to amend.

~SM~