I'm so sorry for being out to touch. A few years ago when I started taking commissions, I was on top of everything. But this past year has painted me in a very bad light.

I hate to keep those of you kind enough to help me out waiting. To be honest, I've been so embarassed about my slow performance and scared that I couldn't afford refunds that I laid low. I realize now that most if not all of you would be more than happy to be patient as long as you have a guaranteed good outcome and I stay in communication. I need to stop hiding when I feel I've failed.

I have some bad news. I fought really hard to get off the Cymbalta, and all the money you guys were so generous with went exclusively to the medical bills and nothing else. I managed to gradually drop from 120 mg to 30, but then I totally fell apart. Panic attacks, seizures, uncontrollable crying, thoughts of self harm, the whole she-bang. My doctor ordered me to immediately double up to 60 mg and stay stable. I feel like a horrible failure. I was so sure I could do it if I just persevered and fought through the withdrawals. But such high doses of such an important and incredibly addictive medicine are hard to come off of within a year's time, and once I'm off it I'll have to figure out how to manage the problems I was being medicated for. So, I've failed you and myself. I'm so sorry you used your money on such a futile effort. I'm so disappointed in myself. I was /so sure/ I could do this.

Now I'm back on the stuff, but I finally got insurance through my new job. I'll be okay.

But what of you, my clients? I'm completely committed to finishing all the commissions. Realistically, with my work hours and the holidays coming up, I won't be able to get back into the art swing of things until January. But since you've all been so patient, I can scrape together some cash to refund you if you would rather not wait any longer. No hard feelings. I can't promise I'll have enough to pay back everyone before Christmas, but if you would rather have a refund than the art I can guarantee payment in January.

If I've already started on a piece and you have okayed the sketch, I can only give a partial refund.

My deepest apologies for this whole situation. I was lucky enough to come across so many generous people, and I didn't pull through for them in time. I'm so ashamed of myself. I hope I haven't done damage to my reputation, and I hope this explanation helps a bit.