I spend a lot of time in my head now, overthinking and less time posting or acting. A curse I am afraid born from anxiety and molded by depression and inaction to address the demons. It has made me stagnant and wary of even posting online. But in positive news. . .

[Game dev section]
LoZ Fan game stuff :
I have been getting my ass back to working on my LoZ fangame "The Great Plateau". I will probably be posting the .exe once I feel it's good enough to say it's in an alpha or beta state. It has kind of made me question a bit on the "When is it good enough?" though. Can I make it better? Am I making it better or am I overthinking and making it worse? I feel like player feedback is vital to such things so I probably will aim for an alpha build then make public. In the mean time here's a few recordings of some stuff from it. Sorry for how some assets look this early in development.

The Shiekah Tower : https://youtube.com/shorts/H9iLy2-cmCY
Oman Au first half test : https://youtube.com/shorts/5Z_CQe3QDE0
Ja Baij test : (I'll record soon, this dungeon is the closest complete.)
Owa Daim test : https://youtu.be/Q7UA8Nr4Xu4
Keh Namut : I half a rough draft for the design but nothing implemented
Temple of Time : I have a sketch and a few ideas written down but I fear this one will take the longest cause of all the art assets.

Personal game stuff :
I kind of wanna take some of the assets and code I made for my LoZ fan game and make a fork of the git repo, remove all the Nintendo stuff and start prototyping a Zelda-style indie game with a Halloween themed dungeon as a bit of fun for October, but I do want to at least get my fan game to alpha build before that. T.T Why must these things be so challenging and hard?!! < https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lehEq7cEmMg >

I did want to make a lewd NSFW furry game and charge like a dollar or two but with all the Itch and Steam BS that's been happening cause of some terfs and Payment Processors acting like they know what's best for everyone. I'd complain more, but I'm certain everyone already is aware.

[Art section]
Fan Art stuffs :
I have recently been really enjoying Fabulous Beasts and The City Animation. Drawing Tuye is fun. (Bnuys are my faves of furry characters followed probably by cats and foxes.) I roughed out a short 8 page comic of Sibuxiang and Tuye going at it and being gay. I wanna try and make it into a whole actual comic. But I do feel inadequate at skills with drawing BGs. . .

Personal art stuffs :
I kind of wanna draw more art of my sona for reaction stickers. And more art of my OC's that are set in a fantasy world of my making. Like I have plans and ideas for them but when it comes to executing them I keep going back to the drawing board and reworking hoping new ideas will fix mistakes.

Comms art stuffs :
I recently finished all the comms I received from last year. I just kept putting off due to depression and other shit but now I'm done and I feel better. I kind of want to focus more on projects though.

[Personal whatever section]
I wanted to try and make a post about something every day this month on Bsky and I made it to day 2 then I ran out of content and ideas. I thought about posting some sketches but I feel that's just clutter and not something as eye catching or as interesting. Then, I thought about posting game dev stuff but I doubt anyone outside of other devs would find it interesting to look at a game that's unfinished.

I am trying to think of a strategy for how to over come my anxiety. I have new meds to help with that but I want to try and be able to just do things without the fear of coming off in a way I don't intend. Like I fear if I talk about game dev stuff I'll come off as smart, when in reality I am an idiot. (I like to roll with the assumption I am the dumbest person in the room cause it helps me feel like things are okay when I inevitably fuck up.) I fear the idea of even having an audience at times cause you go look on YouTube or any social media platform and there are tons of people who live their lives just for the purpose of being the one who took down <popular creator>. It doesn't seem to be a political thing, it just seems like a thing people do for fun and I enjoy being a good arms length away from everyone and anyone. It's safer there than it is to be involved with people. (I do spend the vast majority of my time alone. It hurts a lot but it does help me in feeling safe and secure.)