Woo 2016 has been an interesting year to say the least. But for me it's been pretty eye-opening. I don't have many watchers, so I'm manly just gonna use this as a wall to bounce my ideas off of. But anyone who does read this feel free to comment or chat with me if you want.

I try to be pretty friendly on FA, but in real life I'm a shy socially awkward kid and freeze up in pretty much any social situation. It got to the point that my hands actually shake when I feel awkward and have no idea what to do or say. About a week ago, I was feeling really crappy about myself ended up crying a bit during a lecture, then afterwards ran into a bathroom stall and bawled like baby for like an hour. I've been thinking for a while that I have something worse than low self-esteem, but that little event made me realize it's something I'm gonna need help for.

Anyway that's getting slightly off topic. One of the things that's been bugging me for a while is being in the furry fandom itself. If I'm being completely honest with myself, it's probably one of my biggest secrets that nobody that I know in real life knows about. I know you gotta be proud of who you are, but it's one of the things that I really would rather not have people knowing. There's a lot of rumours with furries, even with people who just like the art. I feel pretty shallow saying that, but I'm just worried about making people uncomfortable and, let's face it, judging me. I think it's safe to say this has helped my anxiety grow.

So now I have to figure out what I've gotta do. I doubt I'm gonna leave, but I don't know whether i should try to make some friends in the fandom, or figure out something else. Either way this has been eating me for a while and it's not getting better, so I've gotta start being honest and do something about it.

If anyone made it this far I'm sorry to bother you with all these thoughts, but I appreciate you reading it, and if you do have any advice or any thoughts you wanna hit me with please don't be shy.