I know it's around me, it's the sound of fear calling to se what he has done, to watch his work. It's a breathing darkness all around me, the sound of a mute scream floating on the summer wind.

I can sense it on my, sticked on me like some bad dream. It's the blood of my sins coming after me, it's the void taking shape in me, it's the fear waking up on me...

But then I see myself, and I see this darkness, and I know inside me we are the same thing. That no living creature can be all light or all darkness. And I look into the face of my most horrible ghosts, of my most horrible part, the one that wish to destroy me and others.

I gaze upon this creature of darkness and fear that I have become, and I reconice on it the faces of the ones that have hurted me. And I wish to kill it, to destroy it for ever and be only... nothing... cause I can't be witout my shadows...

That's when I realize, I must not run from it, I must not destroy it or let it become the most important part of me. And only then I understad why is there, why all my scars and all my pain is there. But I can't say it on words, cause looks so simple on them... I just have to learn to live with it.

It's so hard to live with your past and be in peace with it. I am so far from it... this shadow is always there... But as the shadow is so am I.

I guess I am lost now and may never find my way to balance. I must sleep now... just wanted to get this thing out of me...