I've been pretty busy. Got sick in March and pretty much been in the hospital. I'm better now. Been playing Monster Hunter World. A totally awesome game. And its so much fun playing it. Play Warframe and caught up the latest Prime Warframe and weapons. Getting ready for the next quest and Prime Warframe and weapons to come to consoles.


Overall, I wanted to upload some pictures I've done while I was dogsitting/housesitting for a friend. But looking at my drawings...I'm not quite proud. In fact, looking at my drawings. I'm not quite proud of them. I feel that I haven't improved on anything. Even when I wanted to try something new and draw more. I judge it too harshly to a point where I don't feel like doing it.

Maybe its me playing the game too much or things in my life just got worse. I feel that I'm not being creative no matter what characters I come up with. I feel like going backwards on the art style that I use to draw alot. I'm talking about Sonic Style art. And forgetting about making FCs and such.

I just feel that my creativity is just too much for me to handle. And I feel its not good enough. Everything I do at this point is not good enough. I've been feeling depressed and haven't been swinging hard with pictures. Looking at my friend's drawing. I feel he has improved alot. Even though time is never kind to him but he always manage to make his artwork good. So much improvement he has. For me, I'm still the same. I feel I can't change anything about myself.

I feel that I've been deluding myself to think that I'll get better in time. But I get distracted so easily. Hell, I quit Overwatch. You would think that I would be focus by now. But nah, I just wanted to play games with the friends I have left. But I feel that I'm alone again. Everyone has moved on and doing good with themselves.

I've tried so much to change and moved on to get better. But I feel its never good enough....I'm never good enough.... so. This is my last journal. And my last time being on this account. I won't closed my account or delete anything. I'll just leave it as it is. As a reminder that I'll never improve. And that my efforts will never be good enough.