I made a journal in April while I was at my second night at Furcationland, in Portland Maine, voicing some grievances at the convention experience, in spite of the joy it brings. I voiced whether it was really worth the cost and travelling for a couple days of fun, I also sort of had a breakdown because 'I want to be where the furries are', which is what I titled it, because I thought that's what was getting to me, but I was wrong. What I didn't write is that I was genuinely thinking about stopping and not going to conventions any more. However, on that journal, a friend of mine made a detailed comment, giving lots of words of encouragement that started making me think. I kind of regret taking that journal down now as I now have this one almost as a follow-up and it would ne nice to reflect on my mindset...

Currently, as I write this one, we are going into the final day of Eufuria, here in Albany New York, and I have for sure worked through some things in a short period of time, although I am reluctant in my confidence as those previous thoughts are still in the back of my mind. Normally, this is when the post-con depression hits me, but instead, I look forward to this last day and going home. Yes! I look forward to going home, and i'll tell you why:

I noticed something different after I made that previous journal, where I had a paragraph dedicated to not wanting to call going to a convention an "escape from the real world," because this experience is absolutely real! You go, you forget about all the worries and stresses of day-to-day life, have a grand time, and then bring the memories back with you. A friend made a long comment on that since deleted journal that made me realize why it was all worth it. Especially in a world like the modern day, it is unhealthy to absorb bad news all the time and stress constantly about seemingly everything! We all have hobbies whether it be gaming, drawing, knitting, reading, what have you; something where can be in our own comfortable headspace. I realized going to Eufuria, now having a clear head space and processing things after Furcationland, this is the best feeling in the world not because i'm too busy having fun or being around like-minded people, although it does help, but because i'm away from my worries. I wasn't doomscrolling, I wasn't opening social media every few minutes, or trying to distract myself from some task I was subconciously avoiding. There were not a lot of things I was really interested in at this con, yet I enjoyed nothing more than sitting back and taking it all in, or mingling with people who despite being complete strangers, feels like i've known them forever.

I think i've learned some valuable things that I can take from con and integrate into my daily life. I really, really do regret deleting that journal now, because I would love to compare and contrast properly. What i'm trying to say is the convention experience, in all of it's ups and downs, is well worth it! Something, something, memories never die. I don't know, but it's true! After Furcationland, so often I find myself dwelling on thoughts of the previous conventions i've been to and reflecting on what has stuck with me. Even more so, I wonder what the next one has in store for me. In that brief period, either I or someome else, will usually catch a smile on my face.

So, what exactly is the take-away from all this? What is it I actually learned? Keep going to conventions is the obvious answer, of course, but I think what I really learned is that it's ok to yearn for that bubble of anti-stress and lack of anxiety. It is healthy to just step away from your worries for a while and come back later. And It's ok if you don't have regular IRL friends in the furry space, although it would be nice, because I now realize it wasn't entirely about that. What it's all about is knowing that you have a space that you will always belong in. There are multiple places in this world where you can go to be loved and accepted without question.

I think the real question is, "why would that not be a worthwhile experience," because I sure as hell don't have an answer.