It's been a few months since I made an update post, I completely forgot to make one when we figured out what is really wrong with me, and it's worse than simple withdrawals.

I have Akathisia, a somewhat rare condition that can occur going onto, changing doses, or coming off of the type of med I was on. It feels like intense anxiety when it's in full effect, and causes the other things like vomiting. It's like restless legs on steroids in a way too.

I had really hoped it was a shorter term thing, but it can last for months, sources say typically up to six. It can rarely last a year or more.

It's left me pretty much disabled completely, and the longer it goes on the less effective certain medications are becoming and I need to go up on doses.

It's like I'm being tortured or punished, I don't deserve this, no one deserves what this shit does to someone... I just want it to end.

It doesn't help that my psychiatrist appointments are so far apart, I have to go to the emergency department at the hospital she works in just to get medication adjustments.