After the passing of my dog, i just had a breakdown i think alot of my family is broken and some family members i use to know pass away in awful ways, because my family rather mind their own businesses and burn bridges rather then talk it out, lets just say i saw a lot of death, a lot of neglect, a lot of fighting, a lot of drama, a lot of police, everything, and just i losing my dog someone i cared for since she was a puppy just get so bad we had no choice but to sign her away, its just i was so mentally depressed for days, still am, it just a lot of things happen and have zero control or say, sometimes i beat myself up thinking "man, if i wasn't such a timid jerk, maybe i could have helped this person out" but maybe me being shy and timid is a showing that i would struggle in my adult life since i saw a lot that any kid that didn't, i don't envy them, how a child can be so broken by the world so quickly and no one knows, is just depressing.

Point is that i am getting at is, this was kind of an eye opener that, maybe i shouldn't feel sorry for myself or saying what ifs and just, live my life to the fullest, i will miss my dog, and i will always hate myself for not being more in my life, but, sometimes we just need to keep moving and hopefully there is a light at the end of the tunnel, for some its hard to find but just keep looking, digging and squeezing through holes, and hopefully someday, you'll find it and finally can relax.

Love you guys that helped me