Hey everyone
How are y'all..?
It's been a good minute since my last update and I'm sorry for the overall silence

I've been dealing with a lot of shitty things for pretty much this whole year and its caused my mental/physical illnesses to deteriorate even more so and faster

I don't really want to go into too much detail, but all of this is making me immensely suicidal everyday and I'm legitimately concerned for my own safety-
I have been doing long term treatment for years at this point and everything so idk what else to do
My home environment is also not healthy at all and I can't leave due to being disabled and have no other options

Too much is happening/stacking, I'm overwhelmed with everything, and I feel so trapped.. no energy for anything anymore /:

I feel really guilty talking about this and I'm sorry if this all sounds silly
I just hope this isn't forever; I want to get better so bad..
And just to clarify, I'm not asking for nor do I want pity or ass pats,
I just wanted to let everyone know that I'm alive… ish

Oh uh..
On a lighter note, tho
I've been refunding one or two people per month,
just as I planned and mentioned in one of my prior journals u_u ..
And despite all of this shit on my end,
I'm happy to say that I'm still strongly pushing to do what I said I would do
The process has been very slow, but I've been keeping up and have definitely made a larger dent on my refund list

I'm gonna push myself until everyone is refunded..

Btw,
I'm sorry, but I'm disabling comments because I can't handle anything rn /:

I hope y'all are having a good day/night, tho
Take care and be safe