G'day.

My birthday was on the 26th. So I'm a tiny bit late in my own timezone for this. Maybe even just late in general by the time this gets posted.

It's been insane. Heaps just... so much life has happened. Y'know? Feels like I'm rehashing the last journal if I even try to speak about things. So I won't. I'll do what I said I would instead. This is what I want to do.

Normally, when my birthday comes around, I'd use it as an opportunity to bring all of my friends together, throw a party, drink, be loud, play games and just hang out with as many people as I could. Never really felt right to me to be the centre of attention even if the day called for it. It may be my birthday but it means nothing to me if I spend it alone. And it may be my birthday but I'd rather use it as an opportunity to pull my friends out of their routine for a night off with their friends too.

This year I didn't do that. This year was different. Relaxed and quiet, but spent with friends no less. I had a great time.

So... this is what this journal is. I just want to highlight some of the people I've come to know, befriend and bond with as well as the people who have been dear and important to me. In no particular order.

Below this line is just what I have to say. If you aren't here for that, that's fine. It's a little emotional and was quite hard for me to get through. Truth being told, It's really hard for me to be concise and pinpoint important things. Words are just hard for me to use to express something so nebulous as my thoughts and feelings.

---

AzzyDerg: I'm still kind of shocked at how quickly we grew close. You are full of such sincere kindness and have been so welcoming to me I always feel comfortable and at home around you. Your streams are always a delight, you've cultivated such a fun, vibrant community of fans, followers and friends to be around. You are just wonderful to be around in every way. Will support you in any way I can, friend.
Humbug: Mate, you are so inspiring to watch. We've known each other so long, but so little, and I still feel like you're someone I went to school with. I admire you for the work you do and the enthusiasm you approach your work with. I love seein' what you have cookin', but more importantly I love how personable and compassionate you are.
Maven: You are so lovely to talk to, I just wish I had things I could talk about. I love getting to hang out and do things with you and we absolutely need to game more (my sleep schedule is awful I'm sorry). Streaming with you is great, watching you write is wizardry to me and your introspections on subjects is always something thought provoking and interesting to read. You're a good friend I love having you around.
Deocks: You're incredibly sweet. You're always going to be welcome around me. You've been nothing but kind and considerate towards me and everyone. I hope to see a lot more of you in my life.
Dynamo: You bring such a bright presence to any chat you're in. I always love hearing your voice because I know you're going to say something nice or uplifting. Being open with you feels so natural and it's because of that kind spirit you have.
Joey: My god you're adorable. And so very sweet. Your passion is always great to see and it's good fun to hear you talk about your joys. Thank you for opening up to me given me something else to smile about. Don't doubt yourself or your capabilities, you're stronger than you think if you apply yourself.
DJ: Mate. Mate. The energy you bring to any voice call you join could power a city. I suppose that's a reason why you live where you do. I love hangin' out with you. Whether we're shootin' lads in The Finals or shootin' the shit on our own, your company is motivating. I love you too, mate.
Taigon: You've been my friend for almost as long as I can remember. I want you to bring those dreams of yours to reality. You have so many cool ideas I really want to see come to life. Keep creating. Be the person you want to be.
Vic: You have never stopped being an artistic inspiration from me. From the get-go, you've been kind, understanding and welcoming of me and along with Humbug you helped shape how I interact with this community in more positive and productive manners, with an open mind at the core. Watching you work and seeing how passionate you are is amazing. I'm still astonished you work so quickly. But most importantly you're bright, fun loving and enjoyable to be around. You're an amazing friend. More Rowi and Sher please. PLEASE.
Scribble: This is hard. There's so many things to say.
Eleven years you said... You are an incredible person. When you have something you're passionate about, you go hard until it's done and you put everything into it. Every time. It's powerful to see, awe-inspiring. I remember some of the first conversations we had in brief, even have some of your first doodles you threw my way. That growth and change is beautiful. I'm glad I got to see you get to where you are now from the start and here's hoping you keep getting to grow and express yourself.
Some of the best years of my life were spent with you. Trying to describe what you mean to me brings me to tears just trying. Just know that you're far more inspiring and loved than you may realise and people can see all the heart you put into your work. You are my best friend, my closest friend and I love you so much. I'll be here for you, I am here for you.
Chazo: You're a wonderful fella. One of my best friends without question. Even if we butt heads and have our differences, I can always count on you to have my back and be around if I need help. Don't think for a moment I don't appreciate who you are because I go silent or fixate myself elsewhere. I always look forward to hearing from you and am looking forward to a lot of that through the rest of my life. Get your projects going, too! I want to see your passion.
Nin: I'm so, so glad I met you. Even if I was a dickhead when we did. Your laugh, your sense of humour, your honesty always lends to entertaining conversations. Every time you're around, the room is just that much more lively.
Katie: Reconnecting with you has been wonderful. Not all sunshine and rainbows, but... sincerely thought it'd never happen. But we did, and gosh you are fantastic. I'm not letting you go. Even in stretches of silence I think about you a lot. Every VC we're in you're the life of the party, the hearth of the home. A lot of the things you've had to say about our troubles has helped me a lot, as well as a lot of others from what I've seen. No matter what happens, no matter how you feel, you'll always be my friend.
Pickra: You're just lovely to talk to. I appreciate who you are and what you do. I know we've not been friends long but I want to be someone here for you. You've been so compassionate, I want to be the same for you.
Skip: You're one of the kindest, sweetest people I know. You are unfaltering in your efforts to make others smile, it's like you're a force of nature. I'm glad that after all this time, despite distance and time-zones and life we are still friends. We are long overdue for a hug, mate. Keep doing what you do with that fire inside you. The love you have to give is something to treasure.
Harley: I have never, ever had a friend put such horrors in my head and have them live rent free like that... and find that endearing and kinda fun. You are a font of curiosities and a surprising amount of common ground. I really enjoy hanging out with you and it's really easy to do around you. Keep streaming, keep doing your thing. Be the you you want to be and I'll be here to support that. Yes, even through those movies.
Nel: Adorable. Cute. Sweet. My goodness I have to stop myself from giggling all giddy at you sometimes, you're too cute. You were there for me without hesitation or restraint when I needed it and we'd barely said anything to each other before outside of an hour of Helldivers. As much of a blur that day was I remember that clearly, and I'll never forget that.
Kim: It's always something I tell myself, that I don't know how we gravitated together after all this time has passed. I'm grateful for it. I'm grateful for having you in my life. Such a joy to talk to, very sweet and very kind. Always a joy to see you, so don't be shy around me.
Forest: You never showed me anything other than love, respect, compassion and kindness. You lead by example and made me a better person for it. You brought me into your friend circles, and now some of them are my friend circles. My first real experience of "Found Family", I love them all and I have you to thank for it. Everything you have done runs deep and it won't be something easily forgotten. I love you.
Everyone who has reached out to me: You have all brightened my life up considerably. Given the common threads that pulled us together and the tragedy that sparked it, the community and compassion was far beyond anything I expected. Even if it was just a message or two, you helped me. You're all outstanding people and I'm so grateful to have people like you in my life. With such love and compassion in your hearts. I love hearing from you, I love talking with you. Please, never feel as if I don't want you around. I may be preoccupied or unavailable, but I will reply to you if you leave me a message.

---

Please don't be upset if you were not mentioned by name. After writing this much I can think of so many more names who have done so much for me. You are all important and you all have meaning in my life. I find it hard to believe anyone would give a damn about me for the most part, so when some of you who barely spoke with me in the past have made yourself a regular in my DMs, you bring profound sense of belonging and worth to me.

The tragedy of being human in the current day is making so many connections that run so deep and never having the time or energy to thoroughly tend to all those connections.

Please keep doing what makes you happy and keep being creative and passionate about the things and people you love.
Thank you everyone.
Take care of yourselves.

Posted using PostyBirb