This journal is just going to be a collection of thoughts of mine, which is going to be mostly negative so if you don’t wish to see such things then turn back now.


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Today was my 25th birthday and well it wasn’t too bad I guess, I got some good gifts and stuff, it’s just that I feel like I haven’t accomplished anything since I left school 7 and a half years ago. So I feel like I’ve just been wondering aimlessly through life or more accurately, sitting on a raft watching the world pass me by, with each birthday a waterfall and I guess after awhile, the experience of going down a waterfall becomes numb and numb each time you go down, until eventually you feel nothing.

I have realised something, I wish I had realised a long time ago, it’s that money can’t buy you happiness, sure it can make life easier, but it’s no substitute for happiness and love. While I’m loved by my family and I love them back, which is more then some people can say, it’s just that I feel like I’m missing something in my life, I guess maybe I’m looking for romantic kind of love as opposed to the platonic/familial kind, although I have never dated once in my quarter of a century life and so I wouldn’t even know where to start, but I long for something or someone.

In more better news, I think I have a rough idea of what my fursona should look like, I guess it would be a anthro river otter of myself, maybe a more ideal version of myself, more confident, less afraid to express himself and wants to go out somewhere, maybe he is a reflection of what I want to become, something to aspire to as opposed to just watching the world go by.

Sorry I kinda trailed off, but my life is a boring mess, I’m a disabled NEET (Not In Employment or Education) and so nothing exciting really happens to me, so I just kinda play video games all day, goon and/or watch YT, and it’s a sad state of affairs but I kinda have myself to blame for not doing anything with my life, but at the same time it’s hard to meet new people when you only frequent one place ie home and also making friends as a adult is much more harder than when you were a kid.

Anyway if you’ve made it this far, then I’m sorry for all of this, but I do feel better after typing this all out, I guess I’ve been kinda bottling this all up for the last few months, which I know I shouldn’t do but i guess I don’t want to bring others to down with me.

Anyway thank you again for reading all this, bye