Hey y’all.

So, I’ve got a long story to tell. If you don’t want to read it, I’ll give you a brief summary. I’m Christian, this lifestyle isn’t. I’d rather be saved through Christ.

A few days ago, I heard a voice. Don’t know if it was just in my head, or if God himself was speaking to me, or if I was just exhausted that night and imagined it. But I felt the fear the words put in me as though I were hearing them at my judgement. “Depart from me, I never knew you.”

Anyone who is a Christian knows, or will know if they’re recently joining the faith, that these are words that Jesus declares he will say to those who come to Him at their day of judgement, claiming that they did righteous works in His name. But they are hypocrites, serving only themselves.

This struck me especially hard, because I am a Christian. I believe God sent his Son to die for our sins, to take the weight of the Old Testament sin offering in a final offering to God. But the sacrifice is not a catch all, “do as you please afterwards” type of thing. And this lifestyle, for all the good times it’s given me, is, for lack of a better word, wicked.

I am a sinner. I am not bound for Heaven when I die. Though I call myself a Christian, I do not live or act as one, even in public. Though I say that Jesus has saved me, he will judge me harshly, for I knew the way and chose to ignore it.

If I want to be bound for Heaven, I need to start living as a Christian in private. I need to force myself to change. To do better. And it starts here, with my most private of selves. The version of me I share with no one else, because it shames me so.

I would hope my friends I’ve made here don’t judge me too harshly, but at the same time, I don’t care that much. The judgement of others isn’t the judgement I care about.

Call these the insane ramblings of a sleep deprived man. I woke up 17 hours ago, my body is literally as tired as it should be right now. But I need to get right with God. If what I heard wasn’t just insanity, but a sign of what is to come, I need to be ready. And I can’t be caught jorkin it by the Almighty.

So, to anyone who has read this far, I encourage you to also try and find yourself in good standings with the Lord. It’s only too late when you’re dead.

Farewell, to all my peeps,

-WindMaster