I know I havent posted here for years, even though I check in some times. I just needed a safe spot to vent. I can't stand it. I've been dealing/not dealing with this pent up for years. I'm fucking thirty and I cant admit it publicly because I"m terrified I'd lose my home because my parents own it/ live next door. I've tried to convince myself I"m bi or pan or whatever but I just dont get the same feeling from guys that I do girls. I've never had a crush on a guy. I remember the first time. It was painful. I've been with guys. I think I only convinced myself plus when you are young you'll fuck anything that remotely offers. I'm terrified to even reveal it to anyone who could reveal it to my very traditional catholic family. I know many friends wouldnt and I cant even bring myself to. I just needed someone to know.


... I just need to accept it. I'm gay.