:(

Fear is what keeps us from moving forward. I also have anxiety and dealt with a decade of depression. My advice that I can give, is have courage and accept the consequences even if you have done the right thing. Stay vigilant, yes, but dont isolate yourself in fear. Its gonna feed the vicious cycle of loneliness and will make you a target for manipulative people who feed on kindness of others.

awww i'm sorry sweetpea. hang in there <3

:( Hang in there lady!

Hey, as you said your art is a reflection of who you are inside. And you say you're sick of drawing happy sparkledogs, and that isn't who you are? Take a break from happy sparkledogs and vent. Let it out. Draw that gutted baby gryphon and the big black dog. Embrace them, bring them to light, let them be free. Maybe that's all they wanted, maybe they only wanted to be free. And when they're darting about and playing in the sun, let your inner self bask in the glow of that sunlight. Take some time off if you have to, draw and post vent art, and stop running from the past, stop letting the past hold you back.

Hell, get drunk stupid one night and just stream and draw draw draw while drunk.

And for mild to moderate insomnia, I found that taking melatonin supplements (10mg) within an hour before bed worked for me (disclaimer i am not a doctor).

^do this

this! venting helps so much~ we all need it!

^ Indeed this ~

I recommend not taking any form of sleeping pills

Falvie. If you started drawing what you feel you want to, like the griffin with guts splayed. I'd still enjoy.

I've given up with drawing happy all the time, being happy is overrated and sometimes the best art that truely comes out of an artist is right from the heart. Vent if you need to. Even make another account, with a new character...new name, seperate it if you must. I'd still watch. Hell, you may even gain some new followers and you never know that people on this account might like it too. :)

Hang in there, do what you need to.

I wish there was something I could say or do to cheer you up...

"Artists are sensitive. We can't just run from our problems at the club or with a group of friends; the canvas reflects so easily what we feel in our soul, and to go against that... is not art."

I couldn't agree more.

aw dear, i for sure didn't know you were feeling that way behind your happy artist mask you give us with your beautiful art.. i do hope you will feel better soon and that your closest friends will not let you down, we are all here for you anyways, even if you don't see it, some of your watchers aren't only here for the art, i support you as a person and know that it's only thanks to you that many of us get so much inspiration and colorful dreams, not just the art, but what you give us, as i am not english, i'm afraid my words will sound wrong, but i hope not, just know you don't have to be alone and you don't have to hide behind a mask, if drawing your feelings out help, please, do it, we won't judge you or unwatch you just because you draw other things than happy things, seriously, the artist, you, you mean more than the art itself, don't take yourself for granted just to make others happy, even if it's an honorable goal (and i for one live mostly to make others happy, i also remain sad most of the time because of it and suffer from a huge anxiety disorder since age 11), we can help you, even the few of us, even if we can only use words, don't stay alone, people don't only love you for the art i'm sure of it, and as much as i don't know you, i'm sure you are a great person inside, with a lot of heart and you deserve just as much attention as anyone in this world

i'm gonna end my silly try-to-cheer-falvie-up speech by just saying: you go girl, be yourself, even when you are afraid, stand up for yourself and let others make you happy as you made them happy! ;w;

*poops hearts and love here*
♥

:С

*gives you a big fluffy hug*

Sweetie, if you EVER need someone to talk to, don't be afraid to reach out to me. I am more than willing to listen to whatever you have to say. I will happily give you my number and I don't care how much AT&T charges if it helps you get through this.

Loneliness can be felt, even when surrounded by people content with being near you. The thing I feel when it comes to feeling alone is that those who aren't alright with who they are tend to feel stronger "lonely" moods. Do what makes you happy, and surround yourself with those who make you happy, that don't care how popular you are or how good you are at a certain skillset. Never settle with something if it only makes others happy, and not you.

Anywho. You can get through this. Just take babysteps and deep breaths. It won't be easy, but you'll find your own happiness if you're truly determined.

I believe in you.

Ive been here. I hope you feel better soon. it's good that you have support

This was a pretty brave thing falvie, and that's a real good thing!

I think you need to get some help from those around you in the real world.
I have been down this road twice and I believe the best way to break it is to break routine and put the shit on hold.
Recently I actually left a message very similar to this to someone I just couldn't face with words as just a desperate cry for help, it has been working out since then and life is good again.

Do take care of yourself Falvie. Lots of people care about you but words on a forum or a chat screen is nothing compared to hanging out with friends.
<3<3<3

Thanks for sharing, Falvie. I wish I had some wonderful insight or wise comforting words to offer in return for this bold, raw share.

Words fail me though. Hope things perk up for ya.

I'm not the best with words but.. I figured I'd try to leave something here and I hope that maybe some of it helps in some way for you.

First off, draw for yourself, not for others (I don't mean that as in stop taking commissions, but like, take time to draw for yourself). Making others happy is a really cool thing to do, but at the end of the day, you need to be able to express your true self and be able to get your feelings out. Being able to do so is extremely therapeutic and can help relieve feelings of stress, depression or anxiety. Remember, Your art is not what defines you; You are what defines your art. If people start to stop watching you because they don't enjoy your personal art, don't take it too hard. Honestly, the people you want supporting you are those that support YOU and not simply only the art you produce.

Indeed, dealing with people in real life is hard when you have a level of popularity. It's hard sometimes to find people who want to be friends with you simply because of you vs just because of what you do. It's for sure hard, but don't let that stop you from trying to meet new people. There are tons of people out there, some of which don't even know what you do or who you are. I'm not saying it's gonna be easy, but you will eventually find people who you will build extremely close bonds with. Never give up.

I'm not going to tell you something like "OMGZ~ I'LL BE YOUR FRIEND FALVIE! I'LL MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER~", because it's honestly such a weird thing to see said over and over from people you don't even know and has no real emotional bond behind the words. I'll just say, I fully respect your ability to be able mask your real feelings, and I hope you soon can find your release in your art work.

I look forward to seeing your true emotions expressed on the canvas in the future and I wish you the best of luck dealing with things.

Good luck to you!

Would you believe me if I told you that I genuinely understand how you feel? Maybe not to the letter, but I've experienced the majority of what you're talking about along with some other things, moreso lately since I've been trying to organize and move my life along. I usually block as many people out as a can for a week every month or so. I think the best advice I could give is to do what feels right to you. Think about what your mind and body both want to do about the situation and let them work it out. I understand that there's probably a much better way of wording that, but that's the best way I can think of wording it.

Take care and good luck.

I can relate in more ways than one... Sometimes it feels like there is no answer...
Just remember that you can always take solace in knowing you're not alone. There are many of us on "that level," but as long as we're here, we can keep each other company. You're stronger than you know--Hell, you've made it this far, and you're still trying.

I just wish I had your courage--your tenacity. To be strong for everyone, despite your feelings.

As much of a stranger as I am, I'm here for you, just like many others, to help you back on your feet.

Hang in there, A lot of us care about you as well, don't forget that.
<3 <3 <3

You have our support. I'm pretty sure you will beat this anxiety eventually! Stay strong

Do some art for yourself for the time being. Let out all of your emotions in your work.

We will stay with you for as long as it takes. If you draw and post vent art, we will still stay with you and support you. We love you for who you are. *Hugs tightly* We all just want for YOU to be happy. Draw what you want to draw.

Judging by the vent and the image...I can only try and sympathize with you on this one. I know how it feels to have no energy, to feel lonely and cold and empty inside...and feeling so weighed down that you start to lose the will to live. It's going to be tough, but I think that if you let out your emotions in your art and perhaps look to those you feel as if you can trust as a...haven of sorts, a shelter from the storm. I'd say the sooner you let your true self out, the better...people may not like it and if they don't, they're not worth your time or energy to deal with. I know it's easier said than done, but the sooner you can rid yourself of this burden, the better you'll feel. The process is difficult, but the end results are worth it. That's all this wolf can give you, hope it helps.
~Anon

Falvie, if you need to pour out your soul into your art in order to help cope with what you are going through, please, please do that. When I don't take time to draw for myself, I am in a really tough place as well. I know that telling you it's going to be okay is not helpful in the least when you have depression, but I want to say that I hope you get to a better place and feel better. Someday you will be surrounded by the love you need from physical human beings and I pray it is very soon.

Before I begin. Beautiful choice of song. I love Daughter.
We create our fears subconsciously. We tire and run out
of energy we use so desperately to deal and hide our
anxieties and our depressions. we are slaves to our
thoughts and feelings and it does hurt so very much.

Life faces us with tough and never ending challenges
that render us lost and afraid and with no clear
motive and ability to move on or grasp at what is
important to us, rather than others.

I could go on all night and day relating, debating,
empathizing and holding you in a hug but none of
those things will help as much as I'd like them too.

Please, do not hesitate to call upon the things you
hold dear, rely on and of course if you have the chance
to among this fog of doubt and anxiety, call upon
people you can talk too. No human is a burden and you
have many that don't just love your art but love you, as
an individual with so much personality and unique warmth.

Hold onto the important things


P.S I suck at this but if you really want anything at all, even
if its someone to listen I like many, can be someone you may
like to come too.


"People tend to dwell more on negative things than on good things.
So the mind then becomes obsessed with negative things, with
judgments, guilt and anxiety produced by thoughts about the future and so on". - fun quote

And now a word from Bob Ross:

5. On the value of extremes

“You need the dark in order to show the light.”

—From "The Joy of Painting"

Others have said so many good things above that I shall simply say, hang in there, and use your art as your outlet. It can be whatever you wish it to be, and whatever brings you to the emotional state you feel a need to be in.

Keep on truckin'!

Deep

something that may help with anxiety, whenever you get super anxious, but have the time at home to stop for a moment and listen.:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7r8NE4osAYA waterfall sounds help me alot when i get uncontrollably anxious and can't handle it. i don't know if it will help, but it's the best i can offer. Studio Ghibli music, specifically Joe Hisaishi, helps me as well. (the calm ones- like: Legend of Ashitaka, Howl's Moving Castle main theme, or path of wind.

You're afraid to talk to people; You don't trust them; You think you can see right through them; You're lonely, but act distant around others; You fear losing or being rejected by friends; Low self esteem...

I'm (also) not a doctor, but that sounds a lot like social anxiety or Avoidant Personality Disorder to me. Might want to look into that a little more.

The reason I suggest it is because many people don't even know that they have something like this. They also might get diagnosed as something else.

You're not the first who becomes more alienated and anxious due to social aspects of the internet. Sure, it helps a lot for shy people to be protected by anonymity, but somewhat it puts a haze on other people, too, making it difficult to rate their true intentions. I'm sure you're getting many "friends" just because they hope to get art. Wouldn't be the first time seen either. In fact, it is much more difficult to judge intentions and find real friends on the internet. But not impossible.

You only have one chance: Talk. Lift the haze by talking to people. Not about. Not just watching. When your freak sense is tingling, listen to it. But if you want attention and affection, you need to talk. That's not a one way relation. True affection doesn't come from hundreds of people just posting short adoration comments about your art. Sure, it is polite and nice to praise ones work. But that's not personal, just short time attention. It hollows you out just relying on this attention.

Take the step and really try talking to and with people. It sounds easy, but I know...it's hard. If you don't feel good with it...stick to the outside world and your friends there. Art helps expressing yourself, but only talking will bring up friends.

Geez, sometimes digital world stuff is a pain in the ass. But believe me, being talkative and trying to say 'hi, let's chat a bit', but just getting the cold shoulder as if you said something hideous isn't much better.

Be positive. Castration isn't unusual with canines these days :X Sorry, had to end it with a joke, too :3

I'm just one of your thousands of followers, and you probably won't get the time to reply to my silly little comment. But hear me out Falvie. YOU ARE STRONG. Living with anxiety alone (Like I do + a medium black dog) is a living hell, but tossed up with anemia, insomnia and a huge black dog as well as paralysis and probably more is.. unimaginable... I won't write you a novel to express what I feel about what you've just written. But I want to let you know that I adore your strength. The fact that you're still living with all of this! Way to many people give up on life in your condition, but I hope you're one of those who gets shaken to the core but makes you much stronger than before. There will be a good life after years of pain as long as keep on fighting! Never give up! And whenever you feel the need to PLEASE, I'm begging you Draw Your God Damned Feelings! You don't even have to upload it, Just doodle some super emotional dark sh*t to lend some feelings out! If you see this message, Please promise me that..
I'm out, I hope this was someway helpful. We care about you <3

*hugs* I know I can't add much to the many other things said but definitely let your emotions out, art is the best way, so let the happy sparkle dog have a break. You are wonderfully talented and I'm grateful you share your work with us all. Thank you for that and for posting how you feel so all of us aren't in the dark about what's going on and why somethings may change. That's okay. Artists are people not machines. Your work is YOURS, hell you could start posting things that are far from what ya normally draw and I don't think (myself at least) would be phased much. One of the hardest things I've personally had to learn, still learning it, let your emotions out, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Trapping them is painful. *hugs* hopefully you get some good irl friends soon and that they support you like you most definitely deserve.

anxiety is a real bitch, just some of the icing on the disgusting cake of life.
but hey, it can still get better. i wish you luck and i hope all goes well.

While your art is great, I think what I'll always remember about you is the time we had tea in the shitroom with a lovely-smelling unicorn named Jeff.

You know.... I started following you because of your art. Over time, reading your journals, I started to see a reflection of me in those posts. I've walked those same paths, you have, and know you're putting it VERY lightly when you talk about the darker things. The biggest fight is overcoming all the dark, unpleasant things. it won't happen immediately, but it will happen over time. Roll with the situation. Observe.

Don't feel bad for posting this. Have a look at my own venting type journals. I said what I said for two reasons. First, to get it off my chest and do something somewhat constructive with my feelings/emotions. Secondly, I did it so that maybe someone would be kind enough to reply (and there have been replies), even if it was nothing more than not quite an angry rant of frustration.

You're not as alone as you think. I'd love to call you friend. *holds out hand and offers to help you up*

Just don't give up. Always be true to you, even if that means stepping away from your 'well known' material and even possibly upsetting some people. You aren't perfect and happy all the time, and no one should expect that. Everyone has times of trouble and doubt, and like you, I turned to my art (poetry) to help. I wrote what I wanted, not what someone else wanted to see me write. Honesty makes the best art because the viewer can see the person on the other side of the paper. Draw what you want.
You can't please everyone, and hurting yourself to do what you think pleases others is a less than ideal way to live. Start with making yourself happy first. And never give up. Vent if you need to, and do what you want to.

If you ever want someone to listen; about whatever, whenever, I'm always free to stop and listen to whatever it is you have to say. If you ever feel the need, just note me.

Here're some Shinedown lyrics; don't know if they'll help, but I rather like this song in times of stress:
They say it’s never too late
To stop being afraid
And there is no one else here
So why should I wait?
And in the blink of an eye the past begins to fade

So have you ever been caught in a sea of despair?
And your moment of truth
Is the day that you say “I’m not scared”

-pats you on the back-

You need to throw some chains on that big black dog of yours and ride his ass to happy town. Dude sounds like a total buzzkill.

On a more serious note, I hope you feel better soon. I know being lonely all the time sucks :(

Sparkle on brave sparkle dog.

I'm in the exact same boat right now but i am so attached to the online world and I am swirling back in to depression. I've had anxiety for about a year now and it is bulldowsing me in the face. I'm sorry falvie, I can't even help myself I wish I could help you as well.

You know that any time you want, for as long as we're both still kicking, you can ask me for a hug and you'll get one.

Truth to self, above all else. You cannot be true to anyone else if you are not true to your self first.

This is my cardinal law.

So it may be a bit blunt and strong, for a strange voice from the shadows, someone you know not of to come out and say, but this is my place and I am ok with it. You I think, have fallen into the misunderstanding of the value of the internet and its users. A far-too-common problem, especially in young people; Valuing oneself based on the praise and affection of internet people is unsustainable, and you have discovered this. Fame is a fickle friend in any regard, moreso in the communities laden with dramatic undertones and youthful naivete. Every young person bears the weight of the world on their shoulders for at least a moment, and the more empathy one has, the longer the burden weighs. Indeed I am familiar with this struggle as well, having born it well into my 30's.

You are young yet, do not burden yourself so heavily with this false state. It is not real, it cannot be real, it has never been real, and yet it feels and tastes and smells and sounds so. Step back, observe that around you and find your path again. Recenter yourself, regain your footing, and know you.



Truth to mates. These are your family, your career (not JUST your "current" job), those very few time-honored and trial-proven lifetime friends.... and your partner/spouse/mate/etc. These very few people, places, and things are your core, and they deserve your truth and honor before others... except that you cannot betray the first law on their behalf.

These are the one who support you in your deepest times of need. These are the ones you turn to for guidance, familiarity, stability. A shoulder to lean on, an ear to chew, a task to focus and let the world slip by. These are the very few things you can rely on to be there, for real, substantiated by many years of proven history, who will not judge. These are not the ones who will coddle you with empty words, or say "I wish I could....." or remove themselves from action. These are not the ones who jump out in front of you attempting to shield, or shower you with emotional overload. No, these are the ones who stand by your side, help you to rise from the fall, who let you stand on your own. They do not prevent you from falling, but they will help you stand back up again. These are the very few you know who you can call in a desperate need, who will drop everything and do whatever it takes to be by your side, regardless of the cost, any where, any time. These are not many.



Truth to others. Everyone deserves your truth, but you cannot sacrifice self or your core for the benefit of others. This includes anyone that does not fit into the above. Yes you should always try to be true and honest with everyone you interact with, but you cannot ignore the self or those who are closest. And just so there is no impression of any right or position, I freely admit and expect you to fit me in this last group. Although my words are time honored and proven, they are those of a stranger to your world, and they come with that knowledge. Take it if you will, dismiss it if you must. It does not benefit me in any way. Consider perhaps what I said was my cardinal law. I see and I can, so I do, with all that I am.




The answers you seek are not far from reach. And tho I do not know you and you do not know me, we are both of one path, and brought by it close enough together that we are not so far apart. it is but a small thing to offer a simple word, in a world so busy and blurred.



Following for art... Yes it is true I watch you here on FA, and I do enjoy your art. Thank you for sharing it with us here in the world, it is a wonderful talent you have to bring forth the images you conjure from the page. Just be careful about how much weight or allowance you give to those who reach only for the image and not for the soul that imagined it.

And so i will end with this note: It is true I have never written to you before, nor do you know me from any other strange member of the internet community. And while this is certainly true, and I do not expect or require any reply... I thought your journal was worthy of a reply, and so I will end with the beginning.

In the words of Armin Van Buuren: "Everyone's connected, but no one is connecting." Let us break that missing element.

Greetings, I am Tek.



Unus Semita, Unus Vox.

*hugs* You're certainly not alone. In this life, we're all in this together.

I hope you find those comforting friends you're yearning for.

Hey, Summer. I am a Christian. I have a personal, active relationship with God (and Jesus) Personally I am intimately aware of a spiritual world that is all around us, around every person. A weight... Torment. I have suffered all of my life, I can appreciate what you are going through. You feel so isolated, alone... I also am aware of what you call your "Bullshit detector", because I have one, too. It borderlined on clairvoyant, even visions of the future.

Over time I came to realize that I was being manipulated... by malevolent forces who hate me. I came to realize that I was being manipulated. Thankfully I began to realize that I was wrong... wrong about people.

But I could not have understood anywhere near what I know now without Gods personal help.

Have you ever asked Jesus Christ into your heart, and acknowledged Him as the Son of God? If you have not, I urge and beg you to do it. Privately, even. You have nothing to lose but that evil, black dog that threatens to consume your heart.

I have my own black dog, but he is growing smaller, not larger. His threat used to be a roar that would terrify me, now it's just a pitiful yelp, desperate for my attention. I turn away and scoff.

You say you have been praying, that is great. Please... pray to God, and Jesus. God needs someone like you. With heart, imagination, and talent. Consider my words in the future, please. God does love you, He made you with His own hands. He wants to help you. I pray you find rest.

Hummm, not really my cup of tea, but when it comes down to it all I can do is say happy bullshit puppy kisses answers to your problems (sweet lies) Sometimes it's good to hear sweet lies through, like when a mother says it's going to be alright to their child when it really isn't, but here's my "lie" (only a lie if you don't believe it that is) You are not worthless, nor are you stuck in a rut; only feels that way. Look how many people you've made happy over these three years; I don't know about you, but I can't count all of them. You've brought people so much happiness!!! Not many people can say that. So NO you're are not worthless, you have some of the greatest potential I've ever seen, and that's saying a lot. I'm one of those personality types that end up setting on a pedestal that reaches the moon, looking down on people, and I'm putting you up on a higher pedestal! And if you can't make someone happy Summer why even try. IT'S their choice to leech off your happiness so they themselves can get a fill. Cut that blood sucker off! I know it's a had thing to do, too be happy, to put on a smile when you're just dying inside.I'll fast for you, I have a way with God. (It's that egotistical to say?) But really it's the only thing I can do for you. We're all here for you Summer!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dwHXWjazUQ4

Am really sorry fur that ! But that sort of things can happen to everyone.
Dont worry bout that it Will be okay ! Get à little rest !
I wish you to fell better really soon !

I can't even begin how much I understand you. I know terrifying it is to post something like this and express yourself. Especially because you worry about being judged, losing people you love, or like you said....getting kicked. I know you what you meant by that big black dog, and how painful it can be and how much you want it to either go away or be filled with light. I wish you luck on feeling better and know you have a friend in me. And you are preaching to the quare with the canvas reflecting the artist things. You always did seem distant, and now I know why, so yes your work did reflect that. If you need someone to talk to please reach out to me, my notes are always on. Good luck hun you are an amazing artist and an even more amazing person. I'm glad you used your courage and shared this with us. Thank you.

I'd say something like I'll be your friend but I'm one such leech, there's a lot of people you'll meet in life that don't deserve your attention
*sigh* I'm too bad with words to even try and help all I can do is say
Make more vent art is one of the few things I can recommend

Just a warning:
Asking for help is going to result in vultures coming trying to pull you to their ideology or religion, people that don't have the best for you in their minds but just adding someone

I've only started recently watching you (am barely ever on fa), but a good majority of your work is very upbeat, as you mentioned, even though you may not have been at the time.

Just posting this shows how wonderful of a person you are; scared or otherwise... You put everyone here in front of yourself, which; while very kind, is detrimental to you..

I can't say I know what you're going through.. only you can; but I have been in quite a few similar situations; as my personality traits are timid, shy, and gtf away from me if I don't know you already. If you don't have many friends irl, or are just too afraid to ask anyone, try to set that aside. I've had anxiety attacks trying to talk with people I don't know before, and a lot of those people just stayed acquaintances, but if you can find a good friend in someone it's well worth the effort.

And even if you can't find anyone in person.. if you have any good friends online, yeah, they aren't physically there; but I'm sure they'd be more than happy to listen and try to help in any way they can...


Personally, can't say I agree with the comment above me about asking for help resulting in vultures... Though I'm sure they don't mean everybody, still. If you want and need help, then ask for it. Yes there might be some "vultures", but it's not healthy at all to just block everyone out (says the guy who does exactly this all the time...).

And you are loved; not just for your work, either. It may not be in the sense that 'love' is usually defined as... and I know this may just be brushed off, but I care about you. I don't necessarily need to know you to do that ^^
And everyone else that commented here cares about you in some way too; for your health, your feelings and your general well-being. Even if they just left one word, or didn't know what to say.
There are a lot of people who care about you, the person; not just you, the artist... even if you don't know us.

I hope this was able to help in some way or another.. ^^

>> "other people who are friends with psychopaths think I'm crazy until the psychopath does their thing and I give them the "I told you so" face"

It's annoying when clueless people shrug off your insights as if they're nothing, because they think they're unfounded, confusing and baseless judgements. The "told you so" isn't any fun either, because whatever it was, was preventable and it feels as if you're rubbing it in - partially into your own face; in their shoes, their failure... It really makes you feel undervalued and misunderstood.

>> "And to top it all off, being popular never helps."

Pretty much everyone wants to be friends with someone popular, be it idolization, pursuit of free resources/material goods, to mooch some of the limelight, or to have influential allies. It's inevitable.

---

Just do the introspection dance like crazy. Figure out exactly what the problems are, and what needs to be done.
And then find someone who'll take your hand and help you through it, because it's always the initial stages that are the most difficult.
If you have omfgsobadIcan'texplainplusIfeellikebacon severe anxiety, with other shit piled on top, then it's unrealistic to expect to adapt and recover - in a time-efficient manner - on your own.
It can take 5-20 years for some people to recover, tackling it blind and solo. (It's more the blindness. Getting 'help' from other people who are equally as blind can actually make it worse).

Venting is just a short-term coping mechanism, it does nothing whatsoever to eliminate or alter your perception of actual stressors.
It's good that you do it, because its effects are immediate; though it does nothing to help the you, tomorrow.
tomorrow-you only has whatever today-you left them to work with.

As for the dog you've been fattening up for 3 years - you just tell him "walkies!" and then quickly fly to Vietnam.
Dog is pretty expensive there... He sounded like a fat asshole anyways~

You're welcome to talk to me whenever, should you ever feel the need; though all I can do is give advice from personal experience, and help expedite insights.
Not very many people on here can help you initiate shit, which is the hardest part. And my hand doesn't stretch 2351868km. </3

Baby griffins adorned with an incision down their stomach and their entrails spilling out DOES makes others happy. As long it's sincere. Be the artist, draw what you feel like. You'll never be pleasing everyone anyway. Don't try to please us, you shouldn't, you can't. Just do your stuff as YOU like, and then some few people will start to like you beyond the artist.
And don't bother to fame, bother to meritocracy. I'd rather have 10 people who truly appreciate my work than 100,000 who are just looking for a fix.

I know it's been a while, and you've probably moved on... but I know that stuff like this won't be locked away forever, so if feelings like this ever surface...

It's hard, y'know? Social interaction. After millions of years, we've only seem to gotten worse at it, as a species. Pretty crazy, but it's evident from all the posts and talks we see about it online... but hm. Maybe that's because people now have an outlet for those feelings...

Think about that. We've only just began talking about this, and so... many people are. The truth seems to be that, inside, we all have that scared little voice that doesn't know how to act around people, that's worried about true interactions and friendship. What's real, what's right, what will be the best thing for us, what should we do as friends, what defines a friend.... Gah, it's complex, ain't it?

Well... heh. That's the thing. We're all so scared to go out and have true friendships, and that includes with the other people that are like that too. With everyone.

You can do it, you can break free from these mental barriers and blocks, and show others that you want their friendship and they want yours. From what I've gathered... you'll have no problem with that. Just remember - we're all on this little rock flying through space together, limited by these short years in this little space. We're all scared little pups wanting to cuddle up to someone for warmth.

You can do it. You can be a friend. And people will love you for that gift you can bring.

Aw man. I wish I could be your friend, but alas, I am just some random person on the Internet. Kind of sucks really. I wonder how many great friendships are out there that will never happen.