A comic about an important change in my life, one I didn't expect and one I still wish I could have avoided or done something to keep from happening... A breakup with my now former partner.

We are still friends though. And I can't blame her... I mean, that's why I made this comic, it was my fault... My depression triggered this.

If anyone is curious, I did write a journal with some more details about the situation on DA, so look there for a better idea of what happened. A long journal though, some of you on FA may already know about it, while some may just be getting to know me on here again... It links to her journal as well with her side.

Although, I will make it clear here just in case. She is happy. Happier than she has even been right now. I am not, still pretty devastated. We are still friends and roommates. She is okay with what has happened, and I'm still not quite over it, but I'm trying my best to move on for the sake of our friendship. She is still important to me and I want her in my life, and she does want to continue to be in my life. This comic is to help that, a small story in the form of my heart and... Well, yeah.

It is... Difficult. She's been over me for months, maybe almost a year with how my depression handled and I didn't know (or maybe ignorance is bliss...), so it's still fresh to me, a few months since it happened but each month has been. Agonizing to say the least, but I'm trying. We were together over seven years, so, it's difficult for me when she was unable to feel love for me that was hidden by my depression. Still there, just, constricted... And I have to somehow suppress that particular love I had for her. I mean, how can mine just go away? She hasn't done anything wrong.

I want to be happy that she's met someone else online that she feels a love I couldn't give her due to my emotional numbness... So, I'm doing my best to be. It will be difficult to watch her be happy when she meets him in person in just ten days from this submission, while I myself still feel quite broken myself with the loss. I mean, yes, I still have her as a friend, but she's no longer nor can she be my everything, and I'll miss all of it. Heavily.

For now, I just... I'm trying to move on. Trying to learn how to be happy again, with the hope some day that I can meet someone that will want to join me in that happiness, in a closeness that I miss. And that, with my emotions returning, that I can help that person be happy too, and give them what I wanted to give in my previous relationship so much. It's hard to imagine finding someone with all that I still care about in my friend though, so many things I want in a person, and so many things I hope I can offer back. It's scary.

Thanks for listening. Some of what I said above was from my DA submission, but I guess I had more to say. And I had more to say in my Journal linked on DA below:

Seeking Solace DA Journal