Speedwrite for cesparlovelax on twitter!

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Z had never considered himself small. The thought rarely crossed his mind, as a Snorlax he was frequently the largest person in the room. The smallest of his people were just short of seven feet tall on average, weighing half a tonne. Z himself was just a bit taller and just a bit heavier than his fellow Snorlax, and that had been enough to placate his atypical desire to stand out as the largest living thing in most situations. That was how he used to feel. That was, until now.

He tilted his head to look up at the face of the purple giant in front of him. An upright bear-like individual, with sleek almost jewel-stone shiny purple skin. He could barely return Z’s gaze over the breadth of his chest, the pair breasts he had been endowed with nearly eclipsing his smirking face. Just the thought of having to crane his neck to look up at someone else infuriated Z. He was a Snorlax, he was supposed to tower over other people, not be loomed over by some lumbering beast like an inconsequential ant or insect. He took on a wider stance and puffed out his chest, attempting to appear more intimidating to the lummox blocking his path.

“Is there something the matter, little one?” the purple beast asked, pretending to be ignorant to Z’s indignation. His smile was so taunting. Like it was daring the Snorlax to just try and surpass him. Z tried to quell his anger, but every second he spent staring at his newfound nemesis the more he found himself irritated; it was as if seeing their hue of purple selfishly hog his vision had a physical effect, like staring at a very obnoxious sun.

“You know damned well what the problem is,” Z started. He grit his teeth and planted his feet firmly in the dirt. “You’re just looming over me, like you think I’m not big enough, it’s a pain!” Z’s anger reached a boiling point, his thoughts were a discordant mixture ready to froth over and take control of his actions.

“Why I can’t imagine what you’re talking about.” The purple beast made a flamboyant twirl of his wrist and batted his lashes. “All I’m doing is standing in your way, my Pokémon friend.” He changed his expression from one of taunting, to one of mawkishly sweet feigned innocence. “Surely being as wonderfully big, and plump, and enormous as I am…” he chose his words carefully, knowing their impact on Z “… is no crime? My name is Selph, why don’t you and I start again; we got off on the wrong foot I believe.”

“You think you are PR-E-TT-Y BIG don’tcha?” Z stuck his thumb up.

“I’ve been described as such, your point?” Selph arched a brow, as if he didn’t know what came next.

“Well, you’re nothing compared to how big I can be!” With that declaration, Z placed his thumb in between his teeth and blew hard on the digit as though it were the neck of a balloon. The harsh din of stretching rubber followed the breath. Z’s body became thicker all around, mirroring the style in which a parade balloon took form when given its helium payload. He continued to funnel air through his thumb into his already sizeable body, with most of the volume collecting in the most spacious cavity it could find – his great, round stomach.

Selph clapped in lackadaisical fashion. He wasn’t impressed, not yet. So, Z kept going. His cheeks had flushed scarlet from exertion, but he was single-mindedly determined to outgrow this ‘Selph’ at all costs. He found strength in his spite. All the pent-up anger, frustration and feelings of being less-than perfectly gargantuan transmuted into the will to inflate himself larger than anyone had ever seen. He wouldn’t just stop at being the largest Snorlax, no, he would be THE largest period!

“You know. As impressive as your apparent elasticity is… maybe you should stop?” Selph tapped his chin, observing, but not intervening. He seemed content to let the Snorlax billow himself outward like a living hot air balloon for the time being.

Z meanwhile had doubled in height, almost in width too by the time the light-headedness set in. Rivulets of sweat dripped from his forehead, undoing the gel he used to style his tuft of blue dyed hair. Huff and puff, inhale, huff and puff, inhale, HUFFFFFF… AND… PUFF… his midsection blew out in all directions until it literally rose up beneath him and his wide balloon of a stomach and chest were horizontal enough for him to rest his tired elbow from all the puffing. His hold on gravity had ever so slightly waned with the inclusion of so much air into his system. He ignored it and floated several inches off the ground.

“Okay. You’ve been puffing for like five minutes straight. I really think you might want to stop. Don’t you read fables? Something about an ox, and a frog?” Selph warned, Z ignored.

Z was nearly delirious at this stage, his narrow eyes screwed tightly shut in iron-clad concentration. He was running on empty, every new forceful entry of air into his thumb felt like he was struggling against a boulder attempting to run back down-hill despite his efforts. He knew that if he stopped blowing, for even a second, he would lose the air and humiliate himself by whizzing around until he deflated into a pathetic little heap. So, he kept blowing, despite the interjecting creaks and whines of his taxed body. “Gotta… keep… blowing…” Z said, opening his eyes just enough to see that he had finally reached a height and width almost parallel to Selph!

“Bigger than a tree, bigger than a mountain, bigger than the world.” Selph barbed, and then laughed so deeply it resonated through Z’s tightly inflated body like thunder. “You know what happens at the end of that fable, right?”
Z couldn’t respond. His puffing left him unable to vocalize. He decided to glare defiantly at the purple behemoth, of course he knew the story about the frog and the ox, he wasn’t about to just burst like some cheap balloon!
“I think you’ve had enough. Why don’t you shrink back down, and I’ll show you how to ‘properly’ inflate yourself?” Selph offered.

Z refused and tried to keep blowing, but at that moment the light from above was snuffed out. He floated backwards just in time to see Selph rise into the sky above, not blowing on his thumb, not inhaling, just growing taller and taller. An enormous dark purple bear paw, darky reflective, descended on him like some wrathful god. It compressed him, forcing the air to shift in unnatural ways and into his limbs. His thumb was jammed into his fat face, he couldn’t exhale! He tried in vain to somehow deflate before the inevitable, but he heard the first leak, and the second, and before he could hear the third, he felt himself go to pieces in a rush of warmth like so many scraps of paper in the wind. Pop!

“Better luck next time.”