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I've been indulging the idea of trying my hand at a Western-themed macro story. The result was cuter than I intended.
It's a bit of an experiment of sorts and I, at the very least, wanted to say I saw something like this through. Hope you enjoy!
The Little (Relatively Speaking) House on the Prairie
By: RaddaRaem
Plumes of snow, whipping wildly in the wind, trailed off the brim of the lonesome figure's hat. With a grunt, her fingers pinched at the worn leather and tugged it down over their brow.
The rhythm to her breathing, paired with compacting crunch of snow that accompanied her every step, gave the woman structure where the land did not. Where wooden fences ought to have been, marking the boundaries of the roads, there were but sparkling mounds and the winds that whistled across them. …Which she only belatedly realized after taking note of the muffled crunching spilling out from beneath her enormous feet.
Her lips, chapped and dry, scrunched as those denim clad legs lumbered through a howling snow devil. Frost promptly caked those heavy limbs that had long since gone numb. In its death throes the snowy cyclone, wind given physical form, lashed out at the cloaked woman's thick tail. Shards of ice stabbed at the beaded scales that lined its surface.
Coughing, she lifted her head. There, out on that amorphous blot of a horizon, the pale and gentle glow of civilization beckoned. The closest thing to home she had ever known. Her sockets popped and the rucksack coiled tightly round her limbs shuffled in place as she rolled her shoulders. Onward, the gila monster silently trudged.
Nostrils flared, the flesh lining both them and her throat having gone dry, she cautiously tread into town. Oil lamps, their glass curves tinking against the poles they dangled from, bathed the frontier homestead with what little warmth they could muster.
With a blissful sigh, memories came flooding back.
“This town ain’t big enough for the two of us!” she recalled the local lawman decreeing all those years ago when she first set foot in it.
“It ain’t big enough for the one of ME,” she mouthed back with a smirk as snowflakes pelted her scaly face. The gigantic reptile’s forked tongue peeked out curiously from between her lips as she struggled to recall where it was, in this thigh-high town, that their fateful showdown took place. Her efforts at recollection were made all the more difficult by the blanket of snow that that suffocated it.
Barber shops, stables, butchers, gunsmiths, saloons... all of them sat lifeless and dark. This way and that the black scaled lizard turned her head, forked tongue briefly parting her lips, as the crunch of her craterous footfalls echoed through the narrow streets and alleys that her hips just barely squeezed between.
CRRRK
As did the wail of compacting metal. The scalding oil, glass, and iron barely registered against her ankle when it carelessly crashed through it. Eyes clenched shut, she dragged out an exhale. When she opened them the gila monster immediately took stock of who may have witnessed as such.
Smoke, thick and gray, poured out from a smattering of chimneys. Candles, many burned down to waxen stumps, lined the frost caked windows. No drapes suddenly drew closed. No doors promptly slammed shut. She got lucky.
The wind, its desolate song granting her alibi, covered for her as she kicked up snow by the wagon full and buried what damage had been done. It was yet another scar the town bore for simply existing in her gargantuan presence.
She tossed a passing glance back over her shoulders. Her boot prints, broad and wide, were already being erased by the steadily falling snow. A smirk was permitted to don her visage. It'd be months before anyone noticed.
Mindful to watch the lamps that remained, their wan glow serving to cordon off the hip-high structures, the lizard advanced towards her designated drop off. A sprawling barn, GENERAL STORE burned into the planks that comprised it, slowly came into view. Its slanted roof, creaking under the weight of the accumulated snow, nearly came up to her sternum. It'd do.
Stifling another cough, the shivering reptile repeatedly stamped a foot against the earth.
THOOM
THOOM
THOOM
Not even the overbearing embrace of winter could completely mute her presence. Icicles, along with some of the shingles they dangled from, crashed down from the roof. Followed shortly after by a cascading avalanche of flakes. The entirety of the barn soon found itself enveloped in a white mist.
The General Store sat still. Once more, the gila monster raised her boot.
To her relief, warm bands of light poured free from the gaps beneath the swinging doors before she could make good on an unspoken threat. The disturbed snow cleared and the scrape of metal against metal, latches and deadbolts sliding out of place, soon followed.
With a creak the doors swung open. From between them a grizzled mutt strode out into the snow. He wielded a shotgun in one hand and a lantern in the other.
"Been a while, Sheriff," her booming voice greeted him.
A bitter sigh tumbled from the canine's bearded lips. "Uliana," he all but spat as he was forced to tilt his head back to meet hers.
"C'mon now, Sheriff. Dun be like that," Uliana snorted as she dropped to her knees and slid off her rucksack. Her fingers, slow to react, struggled to loosen the straps that adorned it.
Shaking his head, the mutt propped the doors open as wide as the compacting snow would let him before he grudgingly waved her inside.
Dipping low, Uliana wasted no time crawling in after him.
Uliana sat cross legged around the stone pit, dug into the barn's center, eager to lap up its crackling warmth. Even when sitting, hunched over for good measure, her broad back pressed against the rafters.
"You not the sheriff no more then, Sheriff?" the gila monster asked as she greedily cupped her hands around the fire burning before her. Feeling slowly returned to her digits while ice melted off her scaly flesh.
"Sure ain't," he tersely replied from atop a bale of hay. Little else filled the otherwise empty barn.
"Shame, that," Uliana thought aloud. Coughs, strained and dry, gave way to laughter as the larger than life lizard reminisced. "’Hold it right there, not so little lady!’ Hardly a day went by you weren't screaming that at me and poppin' me good, Sheriff," she grinned. "I've kinna missed it."
"I haven't," said the mutt. The wind whistled and howled just beyond the walls.
Uliana's expression softened as she slid off her cloak. Melting snow trickled through the plethora of tiny bullet holes that pocked it. "I... That ain't what I came here for, Sheriff."
"Not today, anyway," he snapped. "And quit calling me that. That title meant nothin' to you then and means nothin' to me now."
Off came Uliana's hat as it brushed against the rafters and torrents of slush sloughed off its brim. She gingerly set it at her side.
"Lemme guess," the dog, his anger restrained, continued. "You needed some place to lay low. Again."
Cheeks puffed out, the gila's clawed fingers, no longer layered with frost, undid the straps lining her rucksack with ease. "That ain't the only reason why I'm here, at any rate," she mumbled. Uliana reached inside, her scarred black and orange arms sinking deep into its mouth, and produced burlap sacks by the handful.
"And who'd you offload these fr-"
"I didn't steal em'," Uliana defensively hissed back. "It's your, you know, stock. Fixins."
Sheriff grunted while he rose to his feet. Spurs tinking while he walked, he knelt down before the now mountainous pile of supplies that continued to accumulate before him. Coffee grounds. Preserves. Jerky. Sugar. Wax. Kerosene.
"Been uh... been trying my hand at honest work, lately," Uliana continued. "Been tough though. Most folks dun wanna give me the chance. More would rather deny me it, among other things, back from when I did not so honest work."
The mutt growled as he reluctantly let her have her say.
"Finally found somethin' though. Freight. Shippin'? Whatever you wanna call it. Deliverin' to places where wagons won't or can't weather permittin'. That and, you know," Uliana bobbed her head. "If I can go where others can't follow then that sure does make it easy to shake people off my trail. There's a lot to like about it."
Sheriff pinched at the wrinkles forming along his brow and sighed. "Take it this is the order I put in with LaFayette back in October?"
The gila monster shrugged.
"Lemme grab the damn ledger. Take stock and see how much you're trying to short change us," Sheriff grumbled before stomping off.
"I was freezin' to death, Sheriff. Be glad you got most of it and not none of it," Uliana sassed. Her bare feet, calloused and leathery, curled round the embering logs tossed into the fire pit.
Neatly piled up along the sides of the barn, Sheriff nodded approvingly at his replenished stock.
"Oh an’ before we forget. About my payment..." Hands on her knees, the reptile boomed as she leaned in close and her lips parted to reveal a wall of white. Noxious odors wafted off of her pearly and poison stained teeth.
Eyes narrowed, the mutt punched her scaly snout without a second thought. "You'll have your payment in full tomorrow. Then you can get yourself gone."
Uliana retorted with a dismissive hiss of her forked tongue. "I... actually had somethin' else in mind for payment."
Her musing was answered with the cocking of a gun.
"I ain't shaking you down! Gotdang, you know I never would,” she shot back somewhat pained. “Look. I’ve been meaning to lay low fer a while so I figured why don't I just bunk here for a spell?"
"No."
"Lemme finish! Knowin’ that I figured… why don't you just keep my payment? Treat it as the cost of me bunkin’ here. For feeding myself with your fixins."
His eyes turned towards anywhere but her own.
Uliana continued to press her case. "I know I've squandered every chance you've given me before, Sheriff. An’ I know you lettin' me in here was another. I'm tryin' not to blow it this time, honest."
Stoic and unmoving, Sheriff glared back at her.
“Please?”
The mutt blinked before pinching at the bridge of his snout. "You get three days, not so little lady. No more."
The reptile's lips curled up into a gentle smile. She’d take it. "’Pleasure doin’ business, Sheriff! Now that that’s outta the way… what kinna’ room service can I expect at this bed and breakfast you're runnin now?"
"Two days. Starting tonight."
"Dammit, Sheriff."
Snap and pops accompanied the crumbling of the ashen logs that Uliana's gargantuan form had curled around. Her toes, chafing and thick, scrunched and shredded apart a bale of hay. Grunting, Uliana shuffled her enormous feet against the itchy grass stems that now served as her blanket.
Tunks, steady and rhymthic, sounded out from the opposite end of the barn.
The gila monster's chest rose and fell in concert to her breathing as she feigned sleep.
Footsteps, accompanied by a familiar grunt, crunched against the hay now spread out across the dirt floor.
Uliana relaxed her muscles. The temptation to curl, to clench, her digits was overwhelming. To squeeze her eyelids shut. To shift in place. All of which were anathema to maintaining the deception.
The unmistakable timbre of wood, logs clacking against one another, soon followed. In turn, the crackling of the fire abruptly intensified.
Still Uliana pretended. Or at least she had intended as such. As Sheriff covertly stoked the flames a comforting, and sorely missed, sense of security blanketed the reptile. Sleep, deep and heavy, consumed her soon after.
“No you didn’,” Sheriff flatly stated. His bushy eyebrows raised at the sight of Uliana’s curiously shaped kettle.
“So maybe ‘found’ innit the right word,” she snorted. Cloak draped across her shoulders, Uliana sat hunched before the roaring fire. A hollow cylinder of metal, rusted and in the peculiar shape of a water tower, lay cupped between her hands.
“Damn right it isn’t,” Sheriff pointedly snarked.
Uliana rolled her eyes as she reached for a burlap sack full of coffee beans. She lazily rolled it around her palm before clenching her fist tight. “There’s more where that came from. No one’ll notice.”
“Dun seem to recall that line of thinking getting you very far with old man McCready’s herd,” Sheriff coolly replied.
Cheeks puffed out, Uliana reluctantly reminisced on her exploratory attempts at cattle rustling. All things considered it went pretty well… right up until the part where it didn’t. Specifically when, her pockets lumpy and mooing loudly, she found herself staring down Sheriff and his toothpick sized shotgun. She instinctively rubbed at the welts that still lined her forearms. Gotdang those rock salt shells stung like hell. “They were wanderin’ outside of their pen,” Uliana whined.
“That you broke.”
“Only the rotted out parts,” she mumbled. Bringing the kettle beneath her fist, Uliana slowly relaxed her grip. A fine cloud of coffee grounds, mixed with shredded burlap, emptied into it. “It looked like shit. He needed some motivation replacin’ it,” she continued to piss and moan.
Sheriff methodically shook his head. Rising to his feet, his spurs shaking as he alternated his weight between one leg and another, the mutt sauntered on over towards the barn doors.
Uliana’s lips pulled down at the occasional hobble that plagued his gait. “So uh…” she trailed off while her fingers thrummed against the metal sides of her would be cup of coffee. “How’s folks been?”
Sheriff slid free the deadbolts holding the swinging doors in place. A bitter chill filled the barn when he pushed them open. “Well enough, I s’pose,” he coughed while he stepped aside.
Uliana scooched forward and thrust her arm out into the snow drifts that had piled up overnight. Dragging her kettle through them, she filled it to the brim with puffy white flakes and promptly retracted her orange scaled limb. The barn doors closed with a creak moments after.
With a whumph, Sheriff collapsed back onto a bale of hay as he idled with his star shaped belt buckle. “Darla finally settled down,” he drawled.
Forked tongue pinched between her lips, the gila monster carefully set the rusted mass of metal atop the fire. Water pooled within it as the snow melted. “Now is that jus you being cute? Woman was all but married to her work.”
“Managing that homestead finally got to be too much by her lonesome.”
Eyes narrowed, Uliana thought back to that pristine log cabin out on the prairie. There was never a time she DIDN’T see Darla out there. Clearing brush. Tilling the fields. Minding the chickens. Damn skunk made it all but impossible to skulk around and get up to no good.
“Lessee... who else…” Sheriff hummed as he took to stroking at his stubble. “Doc’s expanded his services. Does dentistry now too.”
Uliana licked her lips at the mention. For every injury she came to him with, real and imagined, the hare offered her up a butterscotch candy provided she behaved herself. The amount of sugar he doled out to help the medicine go down was positively tooth-rotting. Though come to think of it… hell. With his newfound foray into dentistry he all but guaranteed more work for himself. She could respect a racket like that.
The mutt arched his brows while he fiddled with the loose buttons keeping his cuffs held together. “Then old McCready’s still ornery as ever. Still cussing you out. Still kicking.”
“Still?” she asked incredulously.
Arms crossed about his chest, Sheriff leaned back into the painted planks of wood that comprised the walls. “Course. After all, what didn’t you do to him?”
Uliana counted off the crimes on her fingers. “Trespassin’. Petty theft. Attempted cattle rustlin’. Arson…” she mentally tallied. No matter what Uliana did it always got a rise out of the badger. It encouraged her to no end and, more importantly, the bastard deserved it. No one talked about Sheriff like that. Nobody.
The gila monster bobbed her head as steam billowed up from her kettle. “I meant more the fact he’s walkin’ the earth and not buried in it.”
Sheriff smirked. “You an’ I both know that If Death himself were to come for him he’d have to do so in his sleep. Mean old bastard would put up a fight otherwise.”
Uliana sighed in thinly veiled disappointment.
“An’ what about you, not so little lady? Jus’ what kinda trouble you been getting up to these days?”
Rubbing at her neck, the reptile took to sipping at her lukewarm coffee. “No trouble. Just, you know, honest work,” she spoke into the kettle.
The denim clad canine leaned forward. “Such as?”
Brows flattened, Uliana forced bitter mouthful after mouthful down her throat. “I mighta entertained a stint at the Mojave Express,” she trailed off. That bout of employment lasted but a matter of days. Turns out people have a way of noticin’ when their packages go missing. That and when their mail’s already been opened and sealed back shut with venomous saliva.
“I ain’t one for pushin’ papers,” Uliana grunted.
“Can imagine you’re not,” Sheriff spat.
Pounding at her chest, the gargantuan gila monster gasped after a hearty couple swallows of coffee. Bits of burlap lined her teeth. “Enough bout me though,” she forcefully declared. “What about you, Sheriff? How come you ain’t sheriff no more?”
Hands clasped together, Sheriff stared down at the hay strewn about the floor and heavily exhaled. “I ain’t as spry as I used to be, Uliana. That ain’t the life for me. Not anymore.”
“B-but…” Uliana stammered as bolts popped off the water tower crunching within her grasp.
“An’ besides,” he said when he laid his hands upon his knees. They trembled and knocked together when he rose to a stand. “Things ‘ve been quiet here. Folks don’t need a sheriff no more,” the canine shrugged as he dusted himself off. “You don’t need a sheriff no more.”
Shotgun propped against his shoulder, Sheriff ambled over towards the freshly delivered supplies piled up among the barn’s supporting beams. “Why doncha stretch your legs for a spell,” he suggested. “I’ve got work to do. Shelves won’t stock themselves.”
Biting down on her lip, Uliana slid her arms through the sleeves of her tattered cloak before reaching for her boots. Her shoulders slouched at the sensation of a bitter cold billowing into the barn when Sheriff flung open the doors once more. “I’ll be back by sundown,” Uliana muttered as she saw herself out.
Hand atop her hat, the giant reptile stared up at the sky. The sun’s glowering form struggled to be seen through the roiling sea of clouds.
The wind kicked up. Whorls of snow undulated across the bleached white landscape and lapped against Uliana’s calves. Sighing, she tucked her scaly chin against her shoulder. “You’ll always be the Sheriff to me at any rate,” she mused wistfully at the tiny town pressing at the periphery of her vision.
Shaking her head, Uliana turned her attention towards what she actually came here for. Ahead of her lay a dilapidated mess. Weather beaten planks of wood, splintering and jagged, jutted up from the snow. Kneeling, the reptile brushed away the flakes that caked the hill atop the wreckage. The rusted dome roof of an old grain silo revealed itself before crumbling apart at the lizard’s touch. “Home sweet home,” Uliana whispered.
She gently picked up the pieces and flipped them over. Inscriptions of pointed stars, though faint, remained. Along with remnants of some atrocious handwriting. Uliana choked back an ugly laugh at the memories that bubbled forth.
At the lonely girl who would hide away here. Who tried decorating it like a sheriff’s office. Insisting, pleading, that the rotted remains of the silo would suffice and that the local lawman could live there and work there and never have to leave. At how the girl bawled when he gently told her it simply couldn’t be. At how, without fail, that girl got up to trouble each and every day. And how the lawman in turn would answer her every outburst. How he’d pay her mind when no one else would. How he’d always check in on her every night. And how he’d stay however long it took, even if it meant til’ sunrise, for her to feel safe.
Sniffling, Uliana brushed a hand against her snout. The uhh… the w-weather was gettin’ to her. Legs creaking, she rose to her full towering height. Back turned to the wreckage she once resided among, Uliana ventured deeper into the prairie outskirts. Time enough remained to indulge in some further reminiscing.
“It’s around here somewhere…” Uliana thought as she lazily kicked at the snow while she stomped about. Sparkling white clouds billowed up around her every time she did so.
CRKKKK
Quakes rumbled across the prairie when Uliana found what she was looking for. A surprised hiss escaped her lips as her feet collapsed through the very earth. Snow rushed up past her knees and shards of ice cut against her rapidly numbing legs.
“Found it,” Uliana snorted as she wobbled in place. Hands on her hips, she looked out over the cracks splintering through the once hidden ice that capped Silas’ pond. Even the cat tails, that normally ought to have ringed the frozen body of water, had been buried beneath the blizzard.
Now this took her back. How many summers did she spend lounged along its shores? Curled up like a lump and sunning herself while she dismissively hissed at any cattle that dared draw close. She shuffled forward and winced when the pointed toe of her boot crashed against something submerged.
Bubbles frothed and collected beneath the ice as a wagon wheel tried bobbing to the surface. At the sight of it Uliana embarrassedly rubbed at a cheek. That’s right… that’s uh… eesh. That’s where Sheriff’s wagon ended up, alright.
She remembered how she’d gotten so fed up having to walk everywhere while everyone else could just leisurely mosey along via horse and cart. “I mean… was Sheriff’s fault for leavin’ it unattended,” she harrumphed. What was she supposed to do? Not sit on it?
“Wasn’t tryin’ to break it,” Uliana whistled as she lifted a foot, ice water trailing off its leather curves, and promptly buried the evidence back beneath the mud. She was picking splinters, and salt pellets, out of her scaly hide for weeks following that debacle.
Uliana couldn’t help but laugh. “God what haven’t I buried here?” she asked herself as her chortles slowly tapered off into a defeated sigh. “I… ungh. All I ever did was make headaches for him, huh?” the gila monster shamefully mused while she idly tapped at her various misdeeds buried below the surface.
The walls shuddered as wind bellowed across the plains. Cloak bundled up beneath her head, Uliana nuzzled into it as her bare feet kicked aimlessly at bales of hay. Sleep did not see fit to grace her tonight and she wasn’t going to pretend it would. Her thoughts were too brooding to allow it.
Tunks, heavy and arrhythmic, sounded out from the opposite end of the barn.
Uliana clenched her teeth. That wasn’t how Sheriff was supposed to sound. The swing of his step was supposed to be methodical. Measured. Powerful. Did she do that? Did she take that from him?
The tunks drew closer. This time they sounded stronger. They sounded right.
Her lips quivered as every lapse in judgment, every mistake, every time she’d been a nuisance came flooding back to her. Uliana’s breathing grew strained while her chest knotted in on itself.
“Musta tossed on too much kindlin’,” Sheriff hummed. He looked at the logs tucked beneath his arms and rolled his shoulders. “Jus’ look at you, Uliana. Your eyes are sweatin’.”
She couldn’t help but laugh as tears streamed down her cheeks. “Some service there, Sheriff,” Uliana weakly taunted.
“I never made no promises,“ Sheriff grunted before tossing the remaining logs into the fire. Embers rose from the pit and licked at his shoulders as he clapped his hands together and knocked free the chunks of bark that lined them. His moustache brushed along his muzzle while he chewed on his thoughts. “Rough night, not so little lady?” he asked.
The gila monster swallowed hard and nodded.
“Awright then,” Sheriff replied. Those spurs clinked quietly as he moseyed on over to her and sat down beside one of her hands. He reached out and squeezed gently at a finger nearly as big as he was.
Uliana daintily reciprocated the gesture. “I thought you said I didn’ need a sheriff no more,” she whispered.
“You don’t,” he tersely answered. “You don’t need someone telling you right from wrong anymore. You’re smart enough to know better. To do better. To be better.”
Uliana quietly took in his disappointments and misgivings.
Sheriff scrunched his lips. “I know you’re tryin’ though. An’ it goes without saying that I mean it when I say I don’t miss the trouble you got up to, Uliana.” He paused. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t miss you.”
The knots in Uliana’s chest unfurled as she choked back a lump in her throat. “You can always just say if you’re cross with me. Ashamed of me.”
“I ain’t ever been ashamed of you,” Sheriff whispered back. “Now you do have a nasty habit of testin’ my patience. But never my pride.”
Uliana heaved out a pained sigh. “When should I get to moseyin’ on out of here tomorrow, you figure?”
Sheriff hummed and hawed. “Depends.”
“Depends?” The gila monster relaxed her grip as Sheriff’s hand disappeared into a wrinkle that creased her palm.
“Depends. If you were to get to organizin’ this place, touchin’ it up, bothering to clean up after yourself… I might be forced to pay you for the part time help. Only fair, after all. Might even be enough to cover your room an’ board an’ fixins for another night.”
Uliana’s eyes lit up at the realization. “An’ I mean you’re just about outta coffee as it is. Jerky too,” she mentioned as her forked tongue flicked at the mass of meat and burlap caught between her teeth. “You might need to put in orders for a new shipment sooner rather than later there, Sheriff.”
“Might be hard getting orders out, much less delivered, with this weather though…” he hummed while he stroked at the scruff of his chin.
“If only there were someone out there who could manage that,” the reptile playfully trailed off. “I mean. Not like I need tha work but I suppose I could pencil ya’ in. Might have to pay me again in kind if business dunn’t pick up and soon.”
Sheriff snorted. “Can’t imagine you’d mind. Sleepin in my barn. Eatin’ all my fixins.”
The gila monster flashed him a toothy grin. “It’s a vicious cycle!”
“Shame, that,” Sheriff unconvincingly tutted.
“Damn shame,” Uliana teased. “Looks like you’re stuck with me, Sheriff.”
“Looks that way,” he answered back with a subdued, if not satisfied, nod. He patted at the scaly fingers curling against his back in a tacit acknowledgement of assent.
The giant curled her toes in delight. With great care, she gently cupped the canine against her neck. “I’ve missed this,” she rumbled softly. “I’ve missed you.”
“I know,” Sheriff quietly replied. “I know.”
Uliana closed her weary eyes and held him close. “G’night, Sheriff,” she sleepily mumbled.
“Night, Uliana,” Sheriff dutifully replied. Just like he used to way back when in the cramped confines of that grain silo.
It's a bit of an experiment of sorts and I, at the very least, wanted to say I saw something like this through. Hope you enjoy!
The Little (Relatively Speaking) House on the Prairie
By: RaddaRaem
Plumes of snow, whipping wildly in the wind, trailed off the brim of the lonesome figure's hat. With a grunt, her fingers pinched at the worn leather and tugged it down over their brow.
The rhythm to her breathing, paired with compacting crunch of snow that accompanied her every step, gave the woman structure where the land did not. Where wooden fences ought to have been, marking the boundaries of the roads, there were but sparkling mounds and the winds that whistled across them. …Which she only belatedly realized after taking note of the muffled crunching spilling out from beneath her enormous feet.
Her lips, chapped and dry, scrunched as those denim clad legs lumbered through a howling snow devil. Frost promptly caked those heavy limbs that had long since gone numb. In its death throes the snowy cyclone, wind given physical form, lashed out at the cloaked woman's thick tail. Shards of ice stabbed at the beaded scales that lined its surface.
Coughing, she lifted her head. There, out on that amorphous blot of a horizon, the pale and gentle glow of civilization beckoned. The closest thing to home she had ever known. Her sockets popped and the rucksack coiled tightly round her limbs shuffled in place as she rolled her shoulders. Onward, the gila monster silently trudged.
Nostrils flared, the flesh lining both them and her throat having gone dry, she cautiously tread into town. Oil lamps, their glass curves tinking against the poles they dangled from, bathed the frontier homestead with what little warmth they could muster.
With a blissful sigh, memories came flooding back.
“This town ain’t big enough for the two of us!” she recalled the local lawman decreeing all those years ago when she first set foot in it.
“It ain’t big enough for the one of ME,” she mouthed back with a smirk as snowflakes pelted her scaly face. The gigantic reptile’s forked tongue peeked out curiously from between her lips as she struggled to recall where it was, in this thigh-high town, that their fateful showdown took place. Her efforts at recollection were made all the more difficult by the blanket of snow that that suffocated it.
Barber shops, stables, butchers, gunsmiths, saloons... all of them sat lifeless and dark. This way and that the black scaled lizard turned her head, forked tongue briefly parting her lips, as the crunch of her craterous footfalls echoed through the narrow streets and alleys that her hips just barely squeezed between.
CRRRK
As did the wail of compacting metal. The scalding oil, glass, and iron barely registered against her ankle when it carelessly crashed through it. Eyes clenched shut, she dragged out an exhale. When she opened them the gila monster immediately took stock of who may have witnessed as such.
Smoke, thick and gray, poured out from a smattering of chimneys. Candles, many burned down to waxen stumps, lined the frost caked windows. No drapes suddenly drew closed. No doors promptly slammed shut. She got lucky.
The wind, its desolate song granting her alibi, covered for her as she kicked up snow by the wagon full and buried what damage had been done. It was yet another scar the town bore for simply existing in her gargantuan presence.
She tossed a passing glance back over her shoulders. Her boot prints, broad and wide, were already being erased by the steadily falling snow. A smirk was permitted to don her visage. It'd be months before anyone noticed.
Mindful to watch the lamps that remained, their wan glow serving to cordon off the hip-high structures, the lizard advanced towards her designated drop off. A sprawling barn, GENERAL STORE burned into the planks that comprised it, slowly came into view. Its slanted roof, creaking under the weight of the accumulated snow, nearly came up to her sternum. It'd do.
Stifling another cough, the shivering reptile repeatedly stamped a foot against the earth.
THOOM
THOOM
THOOM
Not even the overbearing embrace of winter could completely mute her presence. Icicles, along with some of the shingles they dangled from, crashed down from the roof. Followed shortly after by a cascading avalanche of flakes. The entirety of the barn soon found itself enveloped in a white mist.
The General Store sat still. Once more, the gila monster raised her boot.
To her relief, warm bands of light poured free from the gaps beneath the swinging doors before she could make good on an unspoken threat. The disturbed snow cleared and the scrape of metal against metal, latches and deadbolts sliding out of place, soon followed.
With a creak the doors swung open. From between them a grizzled mutt strode out into the snow. He wielded a shotgun in one hand and a lantern in the other.
"Been a while, Sheriff," her booming voice greeted him.
A bitter sigh tumbled from the canine's bearded lips. "Uliana," he all but spat as he was forced to tilt his head back to meet hers.
"C'mon now, Sheriff. Dun be like that," Uliana snorted as she dropped to her knees and slid off her rucksack. Her fingers, slow to react, struggled to loosen the straps that adorned it.
Shaking his head, the mutt propped the doors open as wide as the compacting snow would let him before he grudgingly waved her inside.
Dipping low, Uliana wasted no time crawling in after him.
Uliana sat cross legged around the stone pit, dug into the barn's center, eager to lap up its crackling warmth. Even when sitting, hunched over for good measure, her broad back pressed against the rafters.
"You not the sheriff no more then, Sheriff?" the gila monster asked as she greedily cupped her hands around the fire burning before her. Feeling slowly returned to her digits while ice melted off her scaly flesh.
"Sure ain't," he tersely replied from atop a bale of hay. Little else filled the otherwise empty barn.
"Shame, that," Uliana thought aloud. Coughs, strained and dry, gave way to laughter as the larger than life lizard reminisced. "’Hold it right there, not so little lady!’ Hardly a day went by you weren't screaming that at me and poppin' me good, Sheriff," she grinned. "I've kinna missed it."
"I haven't," said the mutt. The wind whistled and howled just beyond the walls.
Uliana's expression softened as she slid off her cloak. Melting snow trickled through the plethora of tiny bullet holes that pocked it. "I... That ain't what I came here for, Sheriff."
"Not today, anyway," he snapped. "And quit calling me that. That title meant nothin' to you then and means nothin' to me now."
Off came Uliana's hat as it brushed against the rafters and torrents of slush sloughed off its brim. She gingerly set it at her side.
"Lemme guess," the dog, his anger restrained, continued. "You needed some place to lay low. Again."
Cheeks puffed out, the gila's clawed fingers, no longer layered with frost, undid the straps lining her rucksack with ease. "That ain't the only reason why I'm here, at any rate," she mumbled. Uliana reached inside, her scarred black and orange arms sinking deep into its mouth, and produced burlap sacks by the handful.
"And who'd you offload these fr-"
"I didn't steal em'," Uliana defensively hissed back. "It's your, you know, stock. Fixins."
Sheriff grunted while he rose to his feet. Spurs tinking while he walked, he knelt down before the now mountainous pile of supplies that continued to accumulate before him. Coffee grounds. Preserves. Jerky. Sugar. Wax. Kerosene.
"Been uh... been trying my hand at honest work, lately," Uliana continued. "Been tough though. Most folks dun wanna give me the chance. More would rather deny me it, among other things, back from when I did not so honest work."
The mutt growled as he reluctantly let her have her say.
"Finally found somethin' though. Freight. Shippin'? Whatever you wanna call it. Deliverin' to places where wagons won't or can't weather permittin'. That and, you know," Uliana bobbed her head. "If I can go where others can't follow then that sure does make it easy to shake people off my trail. There's a lot to like about it."
Sheriff pinched at the wrinkles forming along his brow and sighed. "Take it this is the order I put in with LaFayette back in October?"
The gila monster shrugged.
"Lemme grab the damn ledger. Take stock and see how much you're trying to short change us," Sheriff grumbled before stomping off.
"I was freezin' to death, Sheriff. Be glad you got most of it and not none of it," Uliana sassed. Her bare feet, calloused and leathery, curled round the embering logs tossed into the fire pit.
Neatly piled up along the sides of the barn, Sheriff nodded approvingly at his replenished stock.
"Oh an’ before we forget. About my payment..." Hands on her knees, the reptile boomed as she leaned in close and her lips parted to reveal a wall of white. Noxious odors wafted off of her pearly and poison stained teeth.
Eyes narrowed, the mutt punched her scaly snout without a second thought. "You'll have your payment in full tomorrow. Then you can get yourself gone."
Uliana retorted with a dismissive hiss of her forked tongue. "I... actually had somethin' else in mind for payment."
Her musing was answered with the cocking of a gun.
"I ain't shaking you down! Gotdang, you know I never would,” she shot back somewhat pained. “Look. I’ve been meaning to lay low fer a while so I figured why don't I just bunk here for a spell?"
"No."
"Lemme finish! Knowin’ that I figured… why don't you just keep my payment? Treat it as the cost of me bunkin’ here. For feeding myself with your fixins."
His eyes turned towards anywhere but her own.
Uliana continued to press her case. "I know I've squandered every chance you've given me before, Sheriff. An’ I know you lettin' me in here was another. I'm tryin' not to blow it this time, honest."
Stoic and unmoving, Sheriff glared back at her.
“Please?”
The mutt blinked before pinching at the bridge of his snout. "You get three days, not so little lady. No more."
The reptile's lips curled up into a gentle smile. She’d take it. "’Pleasure doin’ business, Sheriff! Now that that’s outta the way… what kinna’ room service can I expect at this bed and breakfast you're runnin now?"
"Two days. Starting tonight."
"Dammit, Sheriff."
Snap and pops accompanied the crumbling of the ashen logs that Uliana's gargantuan form had curled around. Her toes, chafing and thick, scrunched and shredded apart a bale of hay. Grunting, Uliana shuffled her enormous feet against the itchy grass stems that now served as her blanket.
Tunks, steady and rhymthic, sounded out from the opposite end of the barn.
The gila monster's chest rose and fell in concert to her breathing as she feigned sleep.
Footsteps, accompanied by a familiar grunt, crunched against the hay now spread out across the dirt floor.
Uliana relaxed her muscles. The temptation to curl, to clench, her digits was overwhelming. To squeeze her eyelids shut. To shift in place. All of which were anathema to maintaining the deception.
The unmistakable timbre of wood, logs clacking against one another, soon followed. In turn, the crackling of the fire abruptly intensified.
Still Uliana pretended. Or at least she had intended as such. As Sheriff covertly stoked the flames a comforting, and sorely missed, sense of security blanketed the reptile. Sleep, deep and heavy, consumed her soon after.
“No you didn’,” Sheriff flatly stated. His bushy eyebrows raised at the sight of Uliana’s curiously shaped kettle.
“So maybe ‘found’ innit the right word,” she snorted. Cloak draped across her shoulders, Uliana sat hunched before the roaring fire. A hollow cylinder of metal, rusted and in the peculiar shape of a water tower, lay cupped between her hands.
“Damn right it isn’t,” Sheriff pointedly snarked.
Uliana rolled her eyes as she reached for a burlap sack full of coffee beans. She lazily rolled it around her palm before clenching her fist tight. “There’s more where that came from. No one’ll notice.”
“Dun seem to recall that line of thinking getting you very far with old man McCready’s herd,” Sheriff coolly replied.
Cheeks puffed out, Uliana reluctantly reminisced on her exploratory attempts at cattle rustling. All things considered it went pretty well… right up until the part where it didn’t. Specifically when, her pockets lumpy and mooing loudly, she found herself staring down Sheriff and his toothpick sized shotgun. She instinctively rubbed at the welts that still lined her forearms. Gotdang those rock salt shells stung like hell. “They were wanderin’ outside of their pen,” Uliana whined.
“That you broke.”
“Only the rotted out parts,” she mumbled. Bringing the kettle beneath her fist, Uliana slowly relaxed her grip. A fine cloud of coffee grounds, mixed with shredded burlap, emptied into it. “It looked like shit. He needed some motivation replacin’ it,” she continued to piss and moan.
Sheriff methodically shook his head. Rising to his feet, his spurs shaking as he alternated his weight between one leg and another, the mutt sauntered on over towards the barn doors.
Uliana’s lips pulled down at the occasional hobble that plagued his gait. “So uh…” she trailed off while her fingers thrummed against the metal sides of her would be cup of coffee. “How’s folks been?”
Sheriff slid free the deadbolts holding the swinging doors in place. A bitter chill filled the barn when he pushed them open. “Well enough, I s’pose,” he coughed while he stepped aside.
Uliana scooched forward and thrust her arm out into the snow drifts that had piled up overnight. Dragging her kettle through them, she filled it to the brim with puffy white flakes and promptly retracted her orange scaled limb. The barn doors closed with a creak moments after.
With a whumph, Sheriff collapsed back onto a bale of hay as he idled with his star shaped belt buckle. “Darla finally settled down,” he drawled.
Forked tongue pinched between her lips, the gila monster carefully set the rusted mass of metal atop the fire. Water pooled within it as the snow melted. “Now is that jus you being cute? Woman was all but married to her work.”
“Managing that homestead finally got to be too much by her lonesome.”
Eyes narrowed, Uliana thought back to that pristine log cabin out on the prairie. There was never a time she DIDN’T see Darla out there. Clearing brush. Tilling the fields. Minding the chickens. Damn skunk made it all but impossible to skulk around and get up to no good.
“Lessee... who else…” Sheriff hummed as he took to stroking at his stubble. “Doc’s expanded his services. Does dentistry now too.”
Uliana licked her lips at the mention. For every injury she came to him with, real and imagined, the hare offered her up a butterscotch candy provided she behaved herself. The amount of sugar he doled out to help the medicine go down was positively tooth-rotting. Though come to think of it… hell. With his newfound foray into dentistry he all but guaranteed more work for himself. She could respect a racket like that.
The mutt arched his brows while he fiddled with the loose buttons keeping his cuffs held together. “Then old McCready’s still ornery as ever. Still cussing you out. Still kicking.”
“Still?” she asked incredulously.
Arms crossed about his chest, Sheriff leaned back into the painted planks of wood that comprised the walls. “Course. After all, what didn’t you do to him?”
Uliana counted off the crimes on her fingers. “Trespassin’. Petty theft. Attempted cattle rustlin’. Arson…” she mentally tallied. No matter what Uliana did it always got a rise out of the badger. It encouraged her to no end and, more importantly, the bastard deserved it. No one talked about Sheriff like that. Nobody.
The gila monster bobbed her head as steam billowed up from her kettle. “I meant more the fact he’s walkin’ the earth and not buried in it.”
Sheriff smirked. “You an’ I both know that If Death himself were to come for him he’d have to do so in his sleep. Mean old bastard would put up a fight otherwise.”
Uliana sighed in thinly veiled disappointment.
“An’ what about you, not so little lady? Jus’ what kinda trouble you been getting up to these days?”
Rubbing at her neck, the reptile took to sipping at her lukewarm coffee. “No trouble. Just, you know, honest work,” she spoke into the kettle.
The denim clad canine leaned forward. “Such as?”
Brows flattened, Uliana forced bitter mouthful after mouthful down her throat. “I mighta entertained a stint at the Mojave Express,” she trailed off. That bout of employment lasted but a matter of days. Turns out people have a way of noticin’ when their packages go missing. That and when their mail’s already been opened and sealed back shut with venomous saliva.
“I ain’t one for pushin’ papers,” Uliana grunted.
“Can imagine you’re not,” Sheriff spat.
Pounding at her chest, the gargantuan gila monster gasped after a hearty couple swallows of coffee. Bits of burlap lined her teeth. “Enough bout me though,” she forcefully declared. “What about you, Sheriff? How come you ain’t sheriff no more?”
Hands clasped together, Sheriff stared down at the hay strewn about the floor and heavily exhaled. “I ain’t as spry as I used to be, Uliana. That ain’t the life for me. Not anymore.”
“B-but…” Uliana stammered as bolts popped off the water tower crunching within her grasp.
“An’ besides,” he said when he laid his hands upon his knees. They trembled and knocked together when he rose to a stand. “Things ‘ve been quiet here. Folks don’t need a sheriff no more,” the canine shrugged as he dusted himself off. “You don’t need a sheriff no more.”
Shotgun propped against his shoulder, Sheriff ambled over towards the freshly delivered supplies piled up among the barn’s supporting beams. “Why doncha stretch your legs for a spell,” he suggested. “I’ve got work to do. Shelves won’t stock themselves.”
Biting down on her lip, Uliana slid her arms through the sleeves of her tattered cloak before reaching for her boots. Her shoulders slouched at the sensation of a bitter cold billowing into the barn when Sheriff flung open the doors once more. “I’ll be back by sundown,” Uliana muttered as she saw herself out.
Hand atop her hat, the giant reptile stared up at the sky. The sun’s glowering form struggled to be seen through the roiling sea of clouds.
The wind kicked up. Whorls of snow undulated across the bleached white landscape and lapped against Uliana’s calves. Sighing, she tucked her scaly chin against her shoulder. “You’ll always be the Sheriff to me at any rate,” she mused wistfully at the tiny town pressing at the periphery of her vision.
Shaking her head, Uliana turned her attention towards what she actually came here for. Ahead of her lay a dilapidated mess. Weather beaten planks of wood, splintering and jagged, jutted up from the snow. Kneeling, the reptile brushed away the flakes that caked the hill atop the wreckage. The rusted dome roof of an old grain silo revealed itself before crumbling apart at the lizard’s touch. “Home sweet home,” Uliana whispered.
She gently picked up the pieces and flipped them over. Inscriptions of pointed stars, though faint, remained. Along with remnants of some atrocious handwriting. Uliana choked back an ugly laugh at the memories that bubbled forth.
At the lonely girl who would hide away here. Who tried decorating it like a sheriff’s office. Insisting, pleading, that the rotted remains of the silo would suffice and that the local lawman could live there and work there and never have to leave. At how the girl bawled when he gently told her it simply couldn’t be. At how, without fail, that girl got up to trouble each and every day. And how the lawman in turn would answer her every outburst. How he’d pay her mind when no one else would. How he’d always check in on her every night. And how he’d stay however long it took, even if it meant til’ sunrise, for her to feel safe.
Sniffling, Uliana brushed a hand against her snout. The uhh… the w-weather was gettin’ to her. Legs creaking, she rose to her full towering height. Back turned to the wreckage she once resided among, Uliana ventured deeper into the prairie outskirts. Time enough remained to indulge in some further reminiscing.
“It’s around here somewhere…” Uliana thought as she lazily kicked at the snow while she stomped about. Sparkling white clouds billowed up around her every time she did so.
CRKKKK
Quakes rumbled across the prairie when Uliana found what she was looking for. A surprised hiss escaped her lips as her feet collapsed through the very earth. Snow rushed up past her knees and shards of ice cut against her rapidly numbing legs.
“Found it,” Uliana snorted as she wobbled in place. Hands on her hips, she looked out over the cracks splintering through the once hidden ice that capped Silas’ pond. Even the cat tails, that normally ought to have ringed the frozen body of water, had been buried beneath the blizzard.
Now this took her back. How many summers did she spend lounged along its shores? Curled up like a lump and sunning herself while she dismissively hissed at any cattle that dared draw close. She shuffled forward and winced when the pointed toe of her boot crashed against something submerged.
Bubbles frothed and collected beneath the ice as a wagon wheel tried bobbing to the surface. At the sight of it Uliana embarrassedly rubbed at a cheek. That’s right… that’s uh… eesh. That’s where Sheriff’s wagon ended up, alright.
She remembered how she’d gotten so fed up having to walk everywhere while everyone else could just leisurely mosey along via horse and cart. “I mean… was Sheriff’s fault for leavin’ it unattended,” she harrumphed. What was she supposed to do? Not sit on it?
“Wasn’t tryin’ to break it,” Uliana whistled as she lifted a foot, ice water trailing off its leather curves, and promptly buried the evidence back beneath the mud. She was picking splinters, and salt pellets, out of her scaly hide for weeks following that debacle.
Uliana couldn’t help but laugh. “God what haven’t I buried here?” she asked herself as her chortles slowly tapered off into a defeated sigh. “I… ungh. All I ever did was make headaches for him, huh?” the gila monster shamefully mused while she idly tapped at her various misdeeds buried below the surface.
The walls shuddered as wind bellowed across the plains. Cloak bundled up beneath her head, Uliana nuzzled into it as her bare feet kicked aimlessly at bales of hay. Sleep did not see fit to grace her tonight and she wasn’t going to pretend it would. Her thoughts were too brooding to allow it.
Tunks, heavy and arrhythmic, sounded out from the opposite end of the barn.
Uliana clenched her teeth. That wasn’t how Sheriff was supposed to sound. The swing of his step was supposed to be methodical. Measured. Powerful. Did she do that? Did she take that from him?
The tunks drew closer. This time they sounded stronger. They sounded right.
Her lips quivered as every lapse in judgment, every mistake, every time she’d been a nuisance came flooding back to her. Uliana’s breathing grew strained while her chest knotted in on itself.
“Musta tossed on too much kindlin’,” Sheriff hummed. He looked at the logs tucked beneath his arms and rolled his shoulders. “Jus’ look at you, Uliana. Your eyes are sweatin’.”
She couldn’t help but laugh as tears streamed down her cheeks. “Some service there, Sheriff,” Uliana weakly taunted.
“I never made no promises,“ Sheriff grunted before tossing the remaining logs into the fire. Embers rose from the pit and licked at his shoulders as he clapped his hands together and knocked free the chunks of bark that lined them. His moustache brushed along his muzzle while he chewed on his thoughts. “Rough night, not so little lady?” he asked.
The gila monster swallowed hard and nodded.
“Awright then,” Sheriff replied. Those spurs clinked quietly as he moseyed on over to her and sat down beside one of her hands. He reached out and squeezed gently at a finger nearly as big as he was.
Uliana daintily reciprocated the gesture. “I thought you said I didn’ need a sheriff no more,” she whispered.
“You don’t,” he tersely answered. “You don’t need someone telling you right from wrong anymore. You’re smart enough to know better. To do better. To be better.”
Uliana quietly took in his disappointments and misgivings.
Sheriff scrunched his lips. “I know you’re tryin’ though. An’ it goes without saying that I mean it when I say I don’t miss the trouble you got up to, Uliana.” He paused. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t miss you.”
The knots in Uliana’s chest unfurled as she choked back a lump in her throat. “You can always just say if you’re cross with me. Ashamed of me.”
“I ain’t ever been ashamed of you,” Sheriff whispered back. “Now you do have a nasty habit of testin’ my patience. But never my pride.”
Uliana heaved out a pained sigh. “When should I get to moseyin’ on out of here tomorrow, you figure?”
Sheriff hummed and hawed. “Depends.”
“Depends?” The gila monster relaxed her grip as Sheriff’s hand disappeared into a wrinkle that creased her palm.
“Depends. If you were to get to organizin’ this place, touchin’ it up, bothering to clean up after yourself… I might be forced to pay you for the part time help. Only fair, after all. Might even be enough to cover your room an’ board an’ fixins for another night.”
Uliana’s eyes lit up at the realization. “An’ I mean you’re just about outta coffee as it is. Jerky too,” she mentioned as her forked tongue flicked at the mass of meat and burlap caught between her teeth. “You might need to put in orders for a new shipment sooner rather than later there, Sheriff.”
“Might be hard getting orders out, much less delivered, with this weather though…” he hummed while he stroked at the scruff of his chin.
“If only there were someone out there who could manage that,” the reptile playfully trailed off. “I mean. Not like I need tha work but I suppose I could pencil ya’ in. Might have to pay me again in kind if business dunn’t pick up and soon.”
Sheriff snorted. “Can’t imagine you’d mind. Sleepin in my barn. Eatin’ all my fixins.”
The gila monster flashed him a toothy grin. “It’s a vicious cycle!”
“Shame, that,” Sheriff unconvincingly tutted.
“Damn shame,” Uliana teased. “Looks like you’re stuck with me, Sheriff.”
“Looks that way,” he answered back with a subdued, if not satisfied, nod. He patted at the scaly fingers curling against his back in a tacit acknowledgement of assent.
The giant curled her toes in delight. With great care, she gently cupped the canine against her neck. “I’ve missed this,” she rumbled softly. “I’ve missed you.”
“I know,” Sheriff quietly replied. “I know.”
Uliana closed her weary eyes and held him close. “G’night, Sheriff,” she sleepily mumbled.
“Night, Uliana,” Sheriff dutifully replied. Just like he used to way back when in the cramped confines of that grain silo.
Category Story / Macro / Micro
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 120 x 117px
File Size 449.1 kB
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