Part 7 of my collab with  corgsdale It's easy to forget that underneath all that flab, Tyr's carrying some impressive muscle. Nairo, not so much, but he makes up for it in other ways.

I hope you all enjoy! 9.8k words.

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Thankfully, the way back was much easier than the way to the shrine thanks to things being already trekked. The two knew which rocks to avoid, the path to take, and in just under half the time it had taken them to get out to the shrine, they were back on the beach. This included some time to stop and get some new ingredients for Nairo; which seemed to be just about wherever they looked. The ferret ran ahead and got what he wanted, but Tyr? Tyr stayed back and just kept right on moving. He didn’t have a spell to lighten him, and he didn’t want one… So he moved like the glacier he was and just followed along after the bouncy ferret who had taken up space in his head and refused to leave.

Stopping did add a couple minutes, but the pair made good time and were within sight of the beach in about twenty minutes. A little winded, or a lot in Tyr’s case, but they were back on the soft and easy to pass sands where Tyr could just waddle heavily along, swinging one tree-trunk of a thigh past the other and thudding the ground as he went. He was lighter, that much was clear, and it did make his pace quicker… But not so much that it was any struggle for Nairo to keep up with him. No, the dragon was fat and slow and heavy; that wasn’t going to change with just 50 or so pounds of lost weight. A couple hundred maybe, but 50? Nah, that was just enough to make waddling easier.

Moving back onto the beach so soon, the two were met with frowns and stares. The beach was much more crowded now, most of the town and tourists out because it was the early afternoon. The two had quite the audience, and more than a few jeers as they moved slowly but steadily along down by the water. Tyr didn’t really care, letting the stares slide off him as he knew they would be changed soon enough. He stayed between them and Nairo too; the dragon had taken up the mantle of being the pair’s wall after all, and he was going to stick to it, even as they moved along the beach towards the vendor who had sent them off to the shrine in the first place.

It took some time, but panting and sweating, Tyr moved in front of the vendor. The wolf smirked and looked the two over, but Tyr held up a paw before the vendor could get in a word edgewise. The dragon may have been exhausted, hot, and panting, but he could still talk… And he was going to.

“Call those lugheads. And hey, you said we didn’t know salad right… Nairo, care to share?”

“Gladly.” Nairo opened his basket, and began to work. A plate popped out into his hand like a jack in the box, the ferret placing it down as one by one, more ingredients shot out. That god’s blessing was no joke; Tyr and Nairo found no shortage of ingredients on the trek back alone. Some were from fresh plants growing on the side, and others were in old containers that, after some testing on Nairo’s part, were still surprisingly fresh. That, combined with what Nairo had brought already, allowed him to quickly concoct a recipe more or less on the spot.

Which was fortunate. Anything to get his mind off the sexy beast beside him- wow, he really needed to vent his pent up emotions after this.

But for now, his ingredients and utensils did the work for him; his floating knife cutting up heads of lettuce and letting their remains rain onto the plate, before doing the same with pecans. Handpicked strawberries diced in half sprinkled around the perimeter of the plate, before being joined in by thinly sliced avocado, each piece naturally resting onto the plate as though Nairo had carefully set them there by hand. Lastly came the goat cheese, shredded carefully onto the plate. Nairo had wanted to fry the goat cheese for Tyr later, as it produced a very unique aroma that the ferret had come to love, but he could always get more later.

This was all just on the plate too; off to the side, Nairo’s faux-telekinesis worked on mixing honey, olive oil, poppy seeds, lemon juice, salt and pepper into a light dressing, finishing on time with the rest of the salad, letting it sprinkle on.

And… voila!

“Honestly, I’d grill up a chicken breast and cut it up onto the salad as well, but I didn’t want to intimidate you too much. Really, I’d love to add a lot to this salad. But, whatever. Here’s your salad, Mr. Salad.”

Nairo was only now vaguely aware of the crowd that had gathered behind him while he’d been focused on his little project. He’d tried to be discrete about it, and hoped that Tyr would have made for a good enough wall, but then again Tyr alone was quite eye catching, and anyone wanting to take a closer look at the mass of scales and flesh would also find random veggies and spices floating around as well. He didn’t dare turn around, however, lest their looks shatter his resolve. He wanted to remain looking smug and confident now.

He had someone he really wanted to impress, after all.

The wolf, once the show was done and the salad was all on display, looked utterly gobsmacked. He didn’t say a word this time, instead moving towards the salad and then picking up a fork. Tyr didn’t move to stop him, and instead just stood with his arms crossed right beside Nairo. The dragon could feel the crowd behind them… It wasn’t hard, given his training. He didn’t dare utter a word of it to Nairo though, instead just looking at the wolf and boring through him with a glare that could set anything alight if it tried.

“Shit, a salad…” The wolf said, and then took a bite. Then another. And then another. He quickly went from testing the salad to wolfing it down, with every single pun possible intended. He inhaled the thing, much to the smirking glee of Tyr as he laid on paw on Nairo and gave a gentle pat to the ferret’s head. Tyr was proud right in that moment, and his smirking grin showed it as he looked at the wolf trying to become one with probably the best salad he’d ever had.

“All of that came from the beach, just up the way. The shrine that all of you have neglected? It wanted you to remember that bounty is on this beach… And that all of you have been neglecting it.”

“You found all this on the beach?” The wolf said, his jaw slacked once again now that he had inhaled most of the salad. Dressing on his snout and bits of lettuce between his fangs, the wolf looked much less intimidating now, and drew a chuckle from Tyr; a bassy, heavy, intimidating chuckle.

“Yeah, the beach. Two fatasses that you said would never amount to anything showed you what you have, and what you have been just taking advantage of so that all of you and your ilk can follow a new, stupid craze.” Tyr growled, making the wolf shrink back just a bit. “Now, call those goons you wanted me to show up, and then… Well, why not show us if anything all of you, on this beach that has been blessed time and time again by a bounty god you have all spat in the face of, is worth eating.” Tyr said, his tone low and cold as he leaned down to look the wolf right in the eyes. “Teach us fatasases that we’re wrong… Or accept that all of you diet-obsessed assholes are wrong.”

“Guys!” The wolf called, and quick as a whip, four muscle-bound wolves appeared around the wolf. All were taller than the vendor, and each looked like they spent more time in a gym than breathing. They all were hulking mounds of muscle with nary an ounce of fat between them. They surrounded the wolf and looked like his security, each glaring up at Tyr as the dragon stood back up to his full height.

“So, which of you am I going to have fun with first?”
In any normal situation, Nairo would have slinked away from the enormous, muscle bound freaks. They were simply uncomfortable to look at, and the ferret was eternally grateful that his boyfriend didn’t want to pursue a different kind of growth altogether. They looked like they could twist the poor tubby mage’s head right off like a bottlecap.

Not that he was scared of anything. Tyr was by his side.

One of the big brutes, a snow-white lupine with pecs the size of his head, came forward and squared up the obese drake. Being a bystander in this exchange, Nairo couldn’t help but find it quite humorous how oppositely they were shaped; the wolf an hourglass shape, Tyr with his middle bowing out to an absurd degree. If they hugged, they’d almost looked like two puzzle pieces sticking together.

Finally, the wolf scoffed. “Why not all four at once. We all get to play that way, da?” He spoke in a heavy accent, yet another indicator he was not a local to this beach. A hired goon, perhaps? Or just a traveling trend setter. “No bench press could hold you… squats wouldn’t be fair, your stomach is almost touching the ground. We do curls then, da? Both our arms are swole, so it fair game. All five of us, we go until we can’t go no more. If you can beat just one of us, only one, I’ll consider you winner. You lose…” He grins wide. “You eat handful of sand. In front of everyone.”

“Hey!” Nairo burst out against his better judgment. The very idea of Tyr lowering himself to that in front of these jerks made him see red briefly. “That’s dangerous! You can’t just-”

“Fuck off, child.” The wolf didn’t even bother breaking his gaze from Tyr. “The grown ups are talking.”

Tyr snatched forward with speed that didn’t look possible for someone his size the second those words left the white wolf’s mouth. The dragon was the tallest of the group; thank you draconic genes, and he went from looking down at the wolf to holding the wolf by his neck right at his eye level. The dragon’s red eyes burned with anger, even as the other three wolves moved forward. Electricity crackled in the dragon’s other hand, loud enough that most of the crowd and even the wolves all took a step back; save for the one that was being dangled in the air by the dragon. He didn’t let his gaze leave the wolf, just glaring with fury that Nairo had seen once or twice before; when someone had come after him. The dragon could handle his insults, but someone going after his ferret, his lover? Oh he would kill.

“Apologize, now, or the only thing in your life that will curl again will be the straw you’ll be eating out of.” Tyr said flatly, his anger clear as he held up the wolf without even looking like he was trying. He did this with the wolf clawing at his arm, blood leaking from a few of the cuts thanks to those sharp claws. The dragon didn’t even flinch at this, still glaring before he grunted and heaved the wolf back into the pack of four, knocking all four of them to the ground in a heap as he stood there. He was bleeding, blood dripping down onto the ground from the slashes on his arm thanks to the desperate bully, but he didn’t care. He still glared.

“What the fuck is wrong with you, you fat fuck?” One of the others, a black wolf with an also foreign, but much more street, accent said, scrambling to his feet and moving to square up with the dragon. Tyr snapped his other paw to crackling electricity, a low growl coming from his throat as smoke began to lightly flow from his nostrils.

“He apologizes, we lift, and then we go our separate ways. Anythin-” Tyr started, only to be cut off by the vendor who had set all this up.

“Enough Timur,” The wolf vendor spoke up, holding up a paw to the black wolf who was about to charge Tyr. The others were helping their coughing, and struggling companion, the wolf glaring up from the ground with pure anger in his eyes. “He’s a trained battlemage from The College. Even with his… Bulky build, he could snap his fingers and kill all four of you.” The vendor said, turning around to face the wolf on the ground. “Apologize like he asked, that was unnecessary of you Bruno.” The wolf said, getting a nod from the wolf on the ground.

“I am sorry, ferret. I didn’t… *cough* mean to offend.” The wolf named Bruno said, not even looking at Nairo as he spoke. Tyr backed down at this point, the crackling of his magic dying down to nothing as he stood back up straight and looked down at the wolf with a glare. “The rules I said stand though, lardass. The benches are over there,” The wolf said, nodding over towards an outdoor gym that was on the beach. The beach bros from before were over there, all staring as they’d seen the altercation… And clearly looking a lot more intimidated by Tyr as the dragon glared at each of them in turn.

“Fine. Get yourself together and meet us over there. I don’t want to beat someone injured.” Tyr said, making sure to point a bloodied paw at the wolf to emphasize his point, as well as rub in that he was injured too. Sure, it was all superficial and a quick salve would fix it all, but he didn’t look to Nairo for any of it. No, the dragon instead began waddling over towards the gym, already scanning it for weights he could lift… And seeing if they had anything that would even be a challenge for him.

Nairo wanted to rush towards Tyr to heal him first, but a second thought stayed his movement. Tyr was riled up right now, and the dragon probably needed a few moments to breathe and get his thoughts back in order. As clingy as he was to the massive drake, as well as thankful for defending him like that, a few moments of rest was always important.

Instead, the ferret chose to step towards Bruno instead, and with a raise of his paw, offered a simple healing spell. His windpipe wasn’t crushed thankfully, and nothing appeared dislocated or messed up from that painful grasp. From the feel of his spell, the wolf just had a sore throat and probably an even more sore pride, the former was thankfully easier to remedy.

“It shouldn’t hurt anymore, but try not to raise your voice for some time.” Nairo turned to leave, but was stopped as Bruno spoke up.

“Your friend did not budge when I threaten him. I say one word to you, he try to kill me…” The wolf actually chuckled. “I respect that.”

Nairo looked over his shoulder at the group. “There’s a lot about him to respect. We’re not just here on vacation, you know.” After that, Nairo left. Even with the large lupines calmed for the time being, he still didn’t feel too comfortable around them.

He tried not to make it seem as though he was rushing towards Tyr’s side, but in actuality he was. It wasn’t a deep wound, but it was pretty bloody, and seeing the dragon hurt in any capacity was enough to worry the ferret. When Tyr saw him approach, Nairo went straight to holding his arms over the wounds, helping to seal them off. Yes, healing salve would have done the job just fine, but that altercation had brought out a mild panic from the ferret, his aura spiking with leaking mana. He may as well use the mana to good use, otherwise it’d just end up wasted.

“Remind me never to bad mouth myself again in front of you,” the ferret jokingly said, getting a cloth to wipe off the remaining blood. And then, he kissed the wound once, giving that thick arm a loving squeeze. “And remind me to bake you an extra helping of your favorite dessert after this as a thank you. Do it again, however, and you get nothing but takeout for a week.”

Tyr growled lightly at the mention of takeout for a week, but he did just stay quiet and say nothing instead of trying to argue. He knew that he had been aggressive enough to scare, but he had done it because someone had come at Nairo! That was a no in the dragon’s book, plain and simple. There were things that weren’t meant to happen, and coming after Nairo was one of those things. So the dragon had attacked, and in fact had held back when he did so. A lesson could be learned with bruised pride just as fast as bruises; he knew that well form even before he had become a mage from some other… Less savory parts of his life. Still, he didn’t like being chastised like that.

Probably because he was still wound up.

Moving into the gym, the dragon was given a fairly wide berth by those who had seen the altercation, and some jeers by those who hadn’t. One glare though was all it took to get the dragon to be avoided, as his eyes were still shining with anger enough that they looked to almost glow. So Tyr didn’t get hassled… Much. One bear did try to get in his way, but the dragon just walked right through him like a bull through paper. The bear nearly tumbled and started to try and go after Tyr, but his friends stopped him with a few whispers… And then nothing. The dragon was a force of nature in that moment; and no one wanted to fuck with nature.

The three rats from before showed the dragon where the freeweights were, and then Tyr scoffed. Nothing in the rack was as heavy as what he lifted at the college; his weights at the college had been custom ordered for the school after many complaints from the battle division about needing more of a challenge after all. As such, Tyr just shook his head, turned towards where the wolves were, and sighed heavily. He stood there, eyes shut and just focusing on his breathing to calm back down. In, and out. In, and out. He breathed slowly and steadily, not focusing on anything but his own breathing and his overspilling mana, which had filled right back up and was crackling around him, likely feeding into what Nairo was feeling for excess mana as well.

Tyr calmed down after a few long, deep breaths, looking down at Nairo with a bit of a smirk on his face. “Sorry,” The dragon said, his black scales looking to almost have gotten some of the shine his eyes had held when he was angry. “Didn’t mean to scare you like that. Just… Don’t fuck with Nairo is rule one in my book, and they broke that rule. So, I was going to break them.”

“I just don’t want you to get yourself in trouble, especially over my behalf.” Nairo tilted his head. He didn’t want to lecture Tyr, knowing how adverse the dragon was to being talked down to, but he also knew he couldn’t just let the dragon do what he wanted just because he got angry. Even if it was pretty romantic. And hot…

The ferret smiled at his boyfriend. “I’m no better. I don’t even know what I’d do if I were you in that situation. But remember I’m a mage too. I don’t want you to think I’m so helpless that you have to rush to my aid so often.” Whelp, it was still a lecture in the end, but hopefully he phrased it in a way that didn’t come off as condescending.

For now, the ferret stepped back into the audience as the wolves approached, eyeing up and down their opponent, almost as though trying to somehow find the muscle beneath the literal feet of blubber. Their eyes were narrowed, but no one dared attempt any more trash talk. Bruno actually looked slightly amused at the situation playing out. Now wasn’t the time to get riled up over stupid feelings and emotions. It was time to let muscles do the talking.

The wolf vendor soon approached the quartet of lifters once everyone was prepared, setting a metronome onto the bench beside Bruno. “Alright, folks, same rules as discussed on the beach. Two seconds up, two seconds down. If you fall behind the beat of the metronome longer than three seconds, you’re out. Fatty here loses if he loses first, but if he beats just one of you lot, it’s his win. Now, take your weights, and-”

“Wait.” Bruno held up a paw, looking towards Tyr. “You never mention your condition if you win.”

Timur, the black wolf from earlier, chuckled. “You don’t actually think that tub of lard stands a chance, do you?”

“Is more fun if something’s at stake.” Bruno responded, not directly answering the question.

“Let’s make it interesting,” Tyr replied, his voice cool but the anger from before he hefted up the heaviest weights on the shelves and held each of them up, spinning them lightly as though they weighed nothing. “For each of you I beat, that’s one serving. One serving of Zwein, my size.”

“Zwein? What is this?”

“Oh, it’s a kind of pig meat. It’s very fattening, but it’s the best meat you could ever wish for.” Tyr replied, getting a bit of a scoff from Bruno.

“We do not have this Zwein here,” Bruno said, a light laugh on his lips. “Are you that scared, suggesting mythical meat?”

“No, Nairo has some,” Tyr said, and then looked at Nairo with a wicked grin. “You have some on you for that, don’t you? I know you’ve been saving it to surprise me after all, so I figured you brought it with you.” Tyr grinned some more, and then turned to the four wolves with that same grin. “I’ll do raising squats too, just to make things fair. I am a battlemage after all, so I figure a full body workout is more fair on my end.”

Bruno, for his part, scoffed and looked over the dragon with a bit of a grin of his own. “Fine, do as you want, just match pace with the metronome.” The wolf said, giving a nod to his pack as each of them went and grabbed the heaviest sets of weights off the rack as well. Not one of them struggled, and in fact two brought over the weights for Bruno as he stood opposite Tyr with confidence in his eyes. Tyr just looked bored now, weights still in his paws as he stood there idly curling it. The wolf noticed this and smirked, giving a nod to one of his pack to do the same.

“This is about endurance, big guy, not strength, yes? Raw power? Oh dragon like you could beat us paws down; that genetics. But you outlast us? All four of us?” The wolf said, smirking broader as he held the weights out to his side with a confident grin. “You talk like you can do this, but I am doubting of this.” The wolf then turned to Tyr, facing him, and sat down on a weight bench. The others did the same, all while Tyr stood over the group and looked bored still. He wasn’t talking; he was focusing.

No one, not even Nairo, knew Tyr’s full workout routine. The entirety of it was over three hours long and consisted of lifting more weights than these wolves likely did in a full week. Endurance? Tyr was built for that, despite his size. He was being underestimated, heavily, and he fully planned on making each of the wolves pay for this. No sand would be eaten by him today… Or ever. “One mouthful of sand for each of us that beat you, yes?” Tyr nodded, finally showing some emotion as he grinned. This would be easy… And with that blessing too? Oh he was likely not even to break a sweat.

The metronome was started, and the lifting began.

The crowd cheered on their favorites, mainly everyone but Tyr unfortunately, as they began their lifts. Even if a workout wasn’t the most exciting sport to watch, it seemed everyone was quite excited… Well, save for Nairo. He was still pouting that Tyr knew about his secret little stash of Zwein he had in store just for the dragon. He wanted to surprise his boyfriend, but noooooo, he had to go and use it for some stupid bet. Yeah, maybe it was to show humility, and the god would probably be pleased to see his new offerings being brought by those with some marbling to their meat, but the ferret still wasn’t too pleased.

But, shit, in a couple weeks they’d be getting more Zwein. And until then, it was fun to fatten someone up the slow, cuddly way.

So, once he was silent enough to show off his playful bit of indignance to Tyr’s sudden wager, Nairo finally perked up and cheered on his boyfriend. Well, cheering while covering his rounded ears; he didn’t like loud, screaming crowds very much. Even if it meant using up all the zwein he brought, Nairo did hope for Tyr to beat every single one. For now, it looked completely even as they all worked on pacing themselves for the long haul, but Tyr hardly appeared to be breaking a sweat. Sure-

Nairo’s arm suddenly shot out, his eyes wide with panic, and anger. A beer can halted its forward momentum, roughly a foot away from Tyr’s head. It was empty, and the ferret was pretty sure the drake wouldn’t have even felt it, but dammit he wouldn’t sit for this. He used a recall spell on the can, and watched as it basically flung itself backwards in time, at double speed, right into the snout of some punk-ass boar who thought he was being funny. “Do that again and I’ll personally shove that thing down your throat!” Nairo cried out. He wasn’t nearly as good at the intimidating threats; hell, his voice even peaked a bit.

But dammit, he would gladly throw hands with anyone who dared get in Tyr’s way!

Thankfully, it didn’t come to that, as the wolf vendor down on stage picked up on that bit and called out. “If you want to support the Wolf Pack, do so by not interfering! Messing with the fatasses will just prove them right that they can outperform us, and that we need to fall back on dirty tricks.”

Apparently that did the trick, as now the boar had a bruised ego to go along with his snout, his other strong friends shoving him quite harshly for acting like an idiot. Satisfied with himself for yet another small, but important victory, Nairo went back to cheering on Tyr. “You got this, hun!”

Tyr did indeed have this. His calves and hips worked to lower and raise his whole bulk with ease, and his arms? Oh those were so sculpted and strong that they actually bulged despite the thick fat coating them from paws to shoulders. The dragon was lightly huffing with every lift, his pace matching the pace of the metronome with ease. It was steady, heavy, and yet just in the form that any one of the wolves would use to a T. The crowd didn’t like that fact, many jeering and calling him names… But Tyr ignored it all. He had no spells or magic to help with this, all his focus on his weights, but he had been jeered like this in the gym many a time before.

When Tyr had first started bulking, the names he had been called and the things tossed at him in the school’s gym had made this look like a party all for him. It was a pittance compared to what the dragon had endured, and he took it as such. This was a bunch of folks watching as they were beaten by something they never expected. Before? It had been anger at watching the strongest one in the room ruin what they all strived to be because he wanted to. It had been vile, and had Nairo known the extent of it, the ferret might have exploded with anger at all that had been said to Tyr. However, the dragon handled it all. He had scales, he had surrounded himself in blubber to let things bounce off him, and now? He had Nairo, who despite the voice crack and the little, feeble attempt at intimidation… Was still there, right by his side, cheering him on.

So Tyr was going to win this, come hell or high water.

None of the wolves seemed to be struggling, even if they were starting to sweat and the puffs of breath with each lift were turning more into pants with every passing minute. The dragon just kept on going, his knees starting to get a little angry at the constant up and down… But nothing that he couldn’t manage with focusing on himself. Mind over matter; it was something all battlemages were taught. In his specialized battle classes, Tyr had been taught the pain of losing a limb, and fighting through it. He was there to protect the proper mage; no matter what happened to him. It was as ingrained into him as his very soul thanks to all that training, and now he was conjuring those memories up to just keep going.

Up, down, up, down… The dragon went on. The wolves were struggling after almost ten minutes of this, but Tyr was still going strong. The crowd had died down some at this point, all of them mostly staring at the dragon now who was single-handedly showing up the four strongest canines on the beach, and likely in the entire town. It was a show, and the dragon knew it. He was there to perform. To do what the crowd didn’t want, and to show that the bounty god was indeed the true ruler of the beach, not their egos and hubris. It was that and that alone that kept him going… Well, that and the little cries from Nairo.

The intense energy radiating off of them was quite infectious. Nairo was certain that everyone present felt their forearms grow sore just by proxy. Hell, even he was intimidated somewhat as they continued to curl weights that weighed as much as he did… Well, before he tripled in weight. The audience had quieted almost completely, and conversely the wolves had started panting heavily, wheezing even. A silver wolf in the back had started gritting his teeth, his arms shaking… before giving up entirely. His weight fell from his arm onto the ground, with enough force to even jiggle Tyr as yet another reminder of just how heavy they were.

Tyr had won.

It wasn’t over yet, however. While the dragon could easily rest now and bask in his victory, Nairo knew he wouldn’t take the easy way out. He wouldn’t stop until he had proven himself to be the undeniable heavyweight champion. Thankfully, he may not have to work himself much longer, as having one of their own lose meant that this was technically a defeat. But they pressed on.

Wump!

Well, tried to. The black wolf from earlier had given up as well, leaning back and greedily gulping in great breaths of air while nursing his poor sore arm. Moments later, a third wump filled the scene, as a third wolf collapsed onto his knees, whimpering in pain.

Bruno didn’t go down as easily. Another five minutes passed of rigorous lifts, his veins nearly popping out from his arms. Alas, given how loudly he was gasping for air, it was clear that every lift was a massive struggle for him. Hell, the wolf even began speeding up and growling, losing track of the pendulum in a very desperate attempt to keep himself in the game, but all it was good for was stalling him out.

He soon began falling behind the pendulum’s swing, and during the three seconds the wolf vendor counted him out, Bruno gave a weak smile. “I hope… Zwein tastes… better than sand…”

And at last, his weight dropped to the ground, followed by Bruno, who was questionably even conscious at this point. The crowd was completely silent, mortified that the strongest team there was destroyed by someone so… so fucking fat!

Well, Nairo wasn’t quiet by any means. The ferret’s throat nearly gave out from how hard he was screaming, the ball of ferret pudge bouncing and leaping around with a surprising amount of energy, his flabby self wobbling with every movement. “Fuck yeeeeah! Yall can suuuuuck it!”

Just to show off and prove his point, Tyr did ten more of his lifts, panting lightly now and grunting from how much his knees were mad at him for this straining exercise. The dragon then turned around and placed his weights right back where they belonged, a broad grin on his face the entire time he was turned around. He turned and winked at Nairo, a light grin on his face before standing back up once more and looking over the splayed out wolves who were all panting right before him.

One or two had recovered, rubbing their arms and looking at the dragon as though he were some kind of god. The crowd itself was silent, each one staring at Tyr like he was either a god or a monster. Aside from Nairo’s cheering, no one said a word. Tyr didn’t either, looking over the wolves for a moment… Before moving towards them and housing up Bruno. The dragon checked for breathing, checked his pulse, and even went as far as to hoist up the weights that had been dropped and put them back onto the rack. No wolves, or even the audience, said a word. The dragon moved in silence, just putting things away and making sure that Bruno was sat up and in a position that wouldn’t hurt him once he came back to consciousness; which likely would only be a few moments. He had overdone it after all, and the dragon knew full well what that looked like.

Tyr, once the weights were put away and the fallen pack leader was handled, finally turned and looked over the crowd and the other wolves. He grinned once, and then looked down at the wolves he had beaten.

“Now, who is the strongest here?”

“You,” the three said in unison, each looking down and away from the dragon.

“Good. Make sure you ice those arms and stretch a lot or you’re going to regret it tomorrow.” Tyr said matter-of-factly. There wasn’t derision or gloating in his words when he spoke, but more camaraderie for other lifters; the wolves had lasted longer than he thought they would in fact. It was respect of the gym, and the dragon knew how it worked. “Now, for the rest of you…” The dragon said, turning his attention to the crowd.

“All of you have forgotten that this beach, your land, is ruled over by a bounty deity. Your prosperity and luck and harvests? He takes care of those for you, and yet you have all turned to dieting and being snobby assholes instead of worshiping the one that takes care of you all. You know how mad he is? He nearly killed me with his rage once I talked to him.” Tyr said, and he wasn’t exaggerating… Nairo knew that well. “Down past those rocks is his shrine. He doesn’t want much, just to be worshiped and recognized for what he has done to you; what he has given you. You don’t have to wind up blubberballs like Nairo and I; we just happen to prefer softness because it’s better than being angry and thin. We do know what salads look like; I’ll eat a good Cobb salad over a burger any day of the week. We do know what exercise is; you just saw that. However, we also know that being snobby about a diet and belittling others because they don’t follow what you do is wrong.”

“Your god knows this too, and is angry. Your hauntings, that we came here to solve? Those were all him, trying to lash out because you had wronged him so. You ignored his teachings of sharing, of enjoying your bounty, and of allowing others to enjoy their own. So, I'll give you a choice.” Tyr said, his little bit of grandstanding coming to an end. “Either keep as you are and watch as your land withers because your god has finally given up on you all, or embrace the fact that there is more to life than counting calories and going to the gym.” Tyr finished, and then sighed.

The crowd, for their part, remained silent all throughout the speech, a few even looking almost shocked by what the dragon said. One or two glowered and stomped off once the speech was over, but more listened and took it in, nodding.

One, however, did neither.

“You would eat a Cobb over a burger? Bullshit!” A muskrat hollered from the back of the crowd, getting a few groans from others in that crowd. “I bet you don’t even know how to spell salad.” The wolf vendor from the beginning just shook his head, but didn’t move to stop the muskrat, who was working his way through the crowd to get closer to the dragon. “You beat some wolves picking things up, so what? Come on man, I bet you couldn’t even tell the difference between mac and cheese and butter!”

“I can, in fact, tell the difference,” Tyr replied coolly, clearly seeing that more education was needed for these people. “I’m not the cook in our little duo though. If you want to try and see who is the better chef, to settle this once and for all… I think Nairo might have some words for that one.”


“The ferret? He’s just as much a lazy, fat fuck as you. I bet he can’t even lift one of those weights, and he’s as-” Tyr’s eyes narrowed, and the dragon took a step forward. The muskrat, having seen the small fight before, immediately shut his mouth and didn’t utter another word… But Tyr just loomed over him and looked ready to snap him in half.

“Choose your next words very, very carefully.” The dragon said, and the muskrat seemed to almost shrink slightly.

“Fine, let him cook then. Let’s see what calorie-dense crap you two eat.” The muskrat said, trying to sound tough but now that he had what was the monster of the beach looming over him… The wind was gone from his sails.

“Nairo, care to show off your own skills here? ANything you want; I don’t want those wolves eating yet until they’re recovered anyways.” Tyr said, turning towards the ferret but still keeping himself ready to launch at the muskrat should another word go towards Nairo.

“Anything, huh?” Nairo mused, rubbing his chins. That was gonna be tricky. Everyone had their own palette, after all. The ferret preferred sweets because of how they smelled baking, and Tyr… honestly, Nairo wasn’t sure what Tyr didn’t like, although the dragon did have his favorites of course. But what would some random beach jackass like? What would a stranger like?

The ferret swung his basket around, musing to himself. Well, the answer hit him soon enough. Just make everything!

“Ya know, I was hoping to save this for just the two of us, but what the hell. Plenty of opportunities to feed you later.” The ferret chuckled. Setting the basket down, Nairo grabbed the lid and tossed it aside, lifting a finger.

What could only be described as a tornado of ingredients flung out from the basket as Nairo brought out everything, literally everything… Well, save for the Zwein and the few little ingredients he had to make them into proper meals, of course. However, it was clearly more than enough to wow the muskrat, whose jaw dropped at the carpet of food and utensils hovering above him. “Holy fuck… is this what you two eat in a day?”

“It’s what he eats in a sitting.” Nairo pointed a thumb towards Tyr, smirking. “Honestly, I don’t eat as much as you think. My diet’s just absolute crap.” Well, maybe that’s not fully true, but Nairo liked seeing the look of shock the muskrat gave Tyr next.

He’d rather not be gawked at while he worked.

And work he did. Tomatoes and onions were cut and diced in midair, spices were ground up and mixed together, meat was unpackaged and hovered before Nairo’s eyes to check for freshness, all while the ferret weaved his magic about. A small clearing had been made, with Nairo using a circle of stones to make a firepit. “Hun, I’m sorry to ask this after you did all that moving, but can you grab me some firewood from the nearby trees? Also any big forking branches for me to fit a stove pot on? I’d really appreciate it.” Nairo asked Tyr with a smile. A shame he still needed Tyr’s help when it was supposed to be his time to shine, but that’s just how it was for him.

It was his time to shine, and soon the ferret found himself in his own little world of cooking. To think that in the past, cooking was just a side hobby for him to enjoy certain smells, but now it became something else on its own entirely, thanks to partnering with someone who loved to eat. Practice making huge meals for the big lug had sharpened Nairo’s fine control over magic to a completely different level. Mage hand was typically a spell reserved for pushing, pulling, or interacting with a distant object, yet Nairo had mastered it to the point of being to cast multiple instances of it all at once, all doing different unique and subtle tasks, to the point where the ferret looked borderline telekinetic. Even now, as he prepared to make his own homemade mac and cheese, the fat mage borrowed a few hunks of the metal weight and fused them together, forming a makeshift woodfire stove for him to make pizzas in.

The smell was intoxicating. Nairo rumbled in delight as he closed his eyes and let his nose guide him. The pasta should be ready soon, pizza goes in now, stir fry will need more sweet chili sauce but otherwise coming along well, the chicken over the grill needs a flip and a few shakes of salt, mashed potatoes should be drained soon, the meatball subs should be toasted next. Nairo couldn’t explain how it all flowed together for him, but it did. He was in complete control of the kitchen, and he made sure everything went right.

That also meant he needed quite a bit of taste testing on his end. Better make sure everything was perfect, after all.

As many of the meals began finalizing, Nairo felt his brow begin to sweat. This was the largest feast he’d ever attempted to cook at once before, and even with his control, this was incredibly taxing. Alas, the mana that leaked out of him would have been very useful here, but for now he had to make do with what he had, and make sure to finish it all before suddenly coming up empty, and having everything literally crash and burn around him. Pizza comes out, now add final ingredients, stir fry tossed one last time before being served over rice, sauce is added to pasta and plating can begin… Nairo was panting, and found himself forced to sit down, although he kept his eyes shut in concentration.

And it was done.

The roast pig landed on the makeshift table with a clang, enough to shake some of the sauce off of it; Nairo was a tad embarrassed by that carelessness, but it simply couldn’t be helped. He pushed himself to the limit, and as such found himself laying back with his stomach on his lap, huffing and puffing. Phew, maybe he didn’t need to sample so much; his buttons were feeling a tad tight against his middle. Slowly, he opened his eyes to see how everything came out, looking for the muskrat’s reaction.

Alas, he couldn’t quite see it, as the crowd Tyr had drawn in with his weight lifting contest had all returned, albeit for a different reason. If Nairo had to guess, the smells had affected them as it had him, as amidst the sea of muscle the ferret could see plenty of licking chops, embarrassed looks and even stomach groping. Perhaps the only reason no one bothered to take a bite was because no one dared to take a step towards the literal feast of food, thinking they’d have to contend with the enormous fat dragon who proved he could outlift anyone there three times over.

“U-uhm…” Nairo really wasn’t a fan of awkward silences, and didn’t know what else to say. “Help yourselves?”

Tyr had been standing silent, watching and helping where he could the entire time. The dragon waited until the feast was done before moving over towards Nairo, having been working as crowd control in a way to keep the staring and gaping faces away from the ferret while he worked. He had seen Nairo go all out on a feast before, but this… This was new, and the dragon looked almost envious at the crowd as they got a taste of what a true mage could cook. The dragon though didn’t waste a second of time, hefting Nairo up so that the ferret could sit on his shoulders and look out over the crowd properly, rather than just seeing everyone looking hungry.

The muskrat from before? He looked like he would faint, just stunned into utter silence from the food laid out before them. Sandwiches, a whole roast hog, pasta dishes, salads, drinks… An entire feast had just come from one little ferret as though it had been directed like an orchestra. The smells alone were enough of a punch to the face to make anyone within the area salivate. However, Tyr knew that many ate with their eyes as much as their noses, and to the eyes? The feast looked as good as it smelled. The one-two punch of Nairo’s cooking was doing work on the crowd around them, and the dragon just beamed with pride as he held Nairo’s leg in one paw, and passed up a spare mana potion to restore the clearly-drained ferret with another.

“You heard him, you can eat.” Tyr said… And then froze when he felt something else on the beach. The god was there, watching and looking them over to see that they had followed through. The dragon stood still, almost afraid in a sense that the god would come for him again… But nothing like that happened. Instead, the pig on the table moved slightly, almost looking like it animated for a moment. Tyr stood still and held Nairo a bit tighter, making sure the ferret, his ferret, was safe from harm as the hog moved on the table for a moment. The dish clattered, the hog’s head moved, and a few of the furs in the crowd screamed with surprise as the feast which had swirled into being seemed to be coming back to life for a moment.

However, it didn’t come to life how they thought.

Instead, the splashing sauce spilled more onto the table, and then began to move on its own. On the side of the table where Tyr and Nairo stood, two words were formed; ‘Thank you’. The dragon breathed a sigh of relief when he saw that, bowing his head and saying a small prayer for the health of the god who had blessed them so; the dragon was respectful of deities to a fault.

On the other side of the table, something else was written. ‘Listen’. The word was harshly scrawled, almost in anger, but it was there for everyone to see… And then the haunting was gone. Both Tyr and Nairo could feel the god leaving the area, or at least retreating back to his shrine again so that they were left alone with the crowd they had made. It was a large crowd too, larger than before, and filled with locals and tourists alike. All were there to either gawk at the dragon that had bested the best, or to stare at the ferret who had created a feast fit for a king in front of them as though it were nothing. Mix that with the magical display of fire control, floating chopping, and just everything else? And there wasn’t a normal face in the crowd. Wide eyes, open maws, and pale hides all were looking right at the two.


So much for not being the center of attention.

“Well… Yeah, just listen to what we said I guess?” Tyr said, clearly as shocked by the whole thing with writing in the sauce as the rest of the crowd. “That was the god, not us this time. So I think you all know who’s side he is on in this. But that’s for later. Come, come, eat.” Tyr said, beckoning everyone forward with a wave of his paw. He did reach into Nairo’s sack for plates and utensils, plenty coming out for the crowd to have dishes for themselves to eat. “I promise, I won’t have a bite. I get to eat like this every day after all,” Tyr said, bumping his head back against Nairo lightly so that the ferret could feel the pride Tyr felt saying that out loud. “Be honest with us too. I’m sure you all know how the food is around here… If you like it better, say so! If not, tell us what’s wrong. Don’t hold back; this is to prove that bounty is better and that your way of living that you’ve all tricked yourselves into is wrong.”

Nairo held close to Tyr as well. The god’s presence was quite frightening, especially since Nairo was particularly vulnerable at that moment, but seeing how the deity appeared quite pleased with the pair’s work put his mind at ease. Yet again, the pair had gone the hard route and done a weekend’s worth of work in an afternoon. But it was more than just solving a mystery and telling the locals to just “do better.” It was beating them at their own game, then showing them a different aspect of life they had been forgetting this whole time. And the result?

“Delicious!” A female shark cried out, and the others cheered in approval. With his magic fully intact, Nairo cast a copy spell on the few plates and silverware he had, ensuring everyone had their own. He hadn’t planned on making a feast for everyone, after all. But he took great pride in seeing everyone try his food, and walk away with a smile on his place. Hell, he swore they looked even happier than when they had come onto the beach. There was no air of smugness anymore around them, no thinly veiled kindness harboring jealousy or superiority. Nairo just saw a beach full of friends sitting around and sharing a warm meal together, trying new things, laughing and joking, and even going back for seconds. Whoops, Tyr might not get his share after all.

Nairo grabbed at the dragon’s paw, squeezing it until Tyr’s handsome round face looked down towards him. “Heh, to think that if we weren’t partners, we’d both be a hell of a lot thinner now. I’d look the exact same, still working towards my goal of being an amazing, famous mage.” Nairo said, snickering.

Then, the smile dropped a bit. “I’d be forcing myself into thinking I was happy and enjoying myself, even if it meant going after missions where violence would be the only solution. I’d work myself to the brink for some laughable amount of recognition that wouldn’t really feel valuable. I’d grow up into an old, angry little ferret without ever knowing what I was missing out on. Cuz, heh, no way in hell I could ever get a partner on my own. Not without this big ball of humbleness right here.” He patted his rotund stomach for emphasis, what he believed to be the changing point of himself.

He squeezed Tyr tighter. “I never would have found out I didn’t want to be a battle mage anymore. I never would have found out I prefer other methods of helping people, or that I’m actually a pretty good chef. I never would have gotten fat, found out I can learn to enjoy being fat, and even more, found out I love to cook others into getting fat too. I never would have found out that the idea of feeding someone into immobility and beyond is uh…” He tugged on his shirt collar, chuckling again.

And then he hugged into Tyr’s side, smiling. “Thank you for being you.”

Tyr had set Nairo back down once the ferret had gotten a good look at the crowd, and then sat down himself on the ground beside Nairo while the ferret had been talking. The dragon wrapped one large arm around the smaller ball of fluff and just hugged him, quietly listening to all of that talk without saying a word. He didn’t really have anything to say to interrupt it all, instead just choosing closeness while everyone around them enjoyed the work of a masterful chef. The dragon couldn’t help but be a touch jealous that everyone was getting to eat what had been his, but he could let it slide this one time.


Just once.


The dragon hugged onto Nairo tighter at the mention of thanks, his embrace warm and enveloping as the ferret was pressed into doughy scales and their warm, cloud-like fat. It was an embrace he held for a long moment too, just keeping Nairo close so that the ferret knew how much those words meant to him. Still though, Tyr said nothing and just sat, looking over the crowd and all of that eating. He didn’t really have anything to say in fact, the words of how delicious the food was, how much better it was than anything in town, and even some talking about bringing plates of it as offerings to the shrine later. The dragon heard it all, just taking everything in now that their work was, ostensibly, done. No demon to kill, no evil spirit to cast out, no skulls to bash… No, this had been a case of media and ego, and the two had come in and set everyone straight with some tough love and cooking. It was nothing that couldn’t have been done by even the simplest of mages, and yet Tyr loved how it went. He had gotten into mage school for this… And Nairo’s words hit him too.

“Uhm, I, uhm…” The muskrat, the wolves, and the vendor all from before were in front of the two, all looking down at their feet and all seeming almost smaller than they had been. Even Bruno was up and about again, having awoken before Nairo had started cooking, and now looking worn out, but well. “We, actually, uhm…” The muskrat continued on, and the wolf vendor simply sighed and shook his head.

“We’re all sorry, really.” The vendor said, looking up and right at Nairo and Tyr. Nodding and mumbled agreements came along with that, but the vendor just shook his head and sighed at it. “Come on guys, say it like you mean it. These two came to help us and we were horrible to them. Hell Bruno, that dragon could have killed you without even batting an eye. Speak up.” A chorus of ‘we’re really sorry,’ followed that, and the vendor looked a bit more pleased this time. “You woke us all up, and I don’t think we could ever thank you enough,” The vendor said, holding out a small bag that looked rather heavy. “Double the payment, as promised… Along with some extras in there for you both. You eat here for free too; as much as you want and as often as you want.” The wolf said, the muskrat frowning but quickly changing his tune with an elbow from the black wolf.

“Y-Yeah, whenever you two are here, you’re welcome.” The muskrat said, and that was backed up by a few from the crowd who had come to apologize as well. In fact, there was a line forming to apologize to and thank the two mages… Something Tyr hadn’t been expecting when he had sat down with Nairo. The dragon didn’t say anything to all of that at first, getting a couple of nervous looks from the 6 in front of them… But then Tyr finally cracked.

“Fine, fine… Your nicest table and nicest meal tonight. Nairo and I have never been on a proper date, and we want something nice.”

“Spot on the dock! You got it!” Came a call from the line, a perky chihuahua waving from the line. Several others, all looking to be owners of the restaurants and shops around town, all nodded in agreement and a few spoke up for offerings to the pair. It was still a surprise for Tyr; they hadn’t done this for popularity; they’d done this for work! But still, if the perks were there for the taking…

Nairo laughed at that. Fine, he could use a break from cooking tonight anyways. A candlelit dinner with the big dragon was the perfect way to end their stressful day, the two of them being able to enjoy each other to the fullest. Granted, Nairo did wish he had saved his little speech there until during their dinner, but ah well. Who could have guessed? Hopefully the chefs were aware of the work that would be cut out for them.