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Seven Years of Relationships: The Present
15 years ago
Feeling one of "those" days again. You know, those days in which everyone around you is holding hands, kissing, and being sickeningly cute.
After my foray and run-in with a certain person, I learned one important thing.
I know how to love. I know what love feels like and knowing when it hits you.
It is a feeling that you get when you found that "right" person in which you adore everything about them, even the flaws. You know, the feeling of, "well, he's not perfect, but I don't care. He's right for me, and I am right for him".
So, you wonder, what happened?
I was driving towards Chicken to ask for the last whereabouts of my best friend. She went missing and it was up to me to find out what happened.
What happened there took me by surprise. I met a wonderful guy. For once, I was not on guard, or defensive and such. He felt, "real".
I said my hello, and sparks flew. I realized that we share the same interests, but not completely to the point that I felt like I'm talking to myself. He had a sense of humor, a direction in what he wanted to be in life, and cuddly like a teddy bear. Nerdy too.
We exchanged phone numbers, and kept in contact for a bit. There was a point in which text messages take about a day or more for a reply. At that point, I was fed up and moved on. Well, I TRIED to move on.
_______________________________________
Then came FurCon 2010.
I had a blast, and to be honest, a complete fur-slut. Granted, I learned about Second Life, drawing, networking, and of what the community is like.
On the third day, I was walking away from the Creator's Lounge to get some water and there he was.
"@#$?"
He glanced over to me as he was walking by and stopped. We exchanged hugs.
"Hey! How have you been? I haven't heard from you in forever!"
"Oh my god, how long has it been?"
"Three months."
"Wow."
"What are you doing here?" I said.
"I'm taking part of a tournament in the gaming room," he replied.
"Well, don't let me hold you up! Go pwn hard!"
"I will!" he said as he runs off to the end of the hallway.
As he ran off, I felt this hard pounding in my chest and I lost my balance. I placed my arm on the wall, and clutched my chest. I was breathing hard.
"Why?" I thought.
____________________________________________
Long story made short, I confessed my love to him on the last day of FurCon. We dated for a while until April. We had to break up because he was in love with someone else.
Granted, he didn't have the heart to tell me, fearing that my feelings would be hurt. I appreciated the gesture, and I even told him to go for the guy he has feelings for. I stepped aside. There was nothing that I could do, I can't make him fall out of love and get with me. How selfish would that be?
We are still friends, but I am keeping my distance as much as possible. I can't be at Chicken because it has too many memories. I can't see him because my heart would plummet down towards despair. Why?
When is it my turn? I did not get cheated on, kicked out, moved around, and be put at the bottom of someone's hierarchy just so I can lose out.
I'm tired of waiting. I'm tired of dating. I want to settle down with someone special. I am 23, and I know it may seem too soon, but I had to grow up fast in order to survive.
I know I deserve it.
After my foray and run-in with a certain person, I learned one important thing.
I know how to love. I know what love feels like and knowing when it hits you.
It is a feeling that you get when you found that "right" person in which you adore everything about them, even the flaws. You know, the feeling of, "well, he's not perfect, but I don't care. He's right for me, and I am right for him".
So, you wonder, what happened?
I was driving towards Chicken to ask for the last whereabouts of my best friend. She went missing and it was up to me to find out what happened.
What happened there took me by surprise. I met a wonderful guy. For once, I was not on guard, or defensive and such. He felt, "real".
I said my hello, and sparks flew. I realized that we share the same interests, but not completely to the point that I felt like I'm talking to myself. He had a sense of humor, a direction in what he wanted to be in life, and cuddly like a teddy bear. Nerdy too.
We exchanged phone numbers, and kept in contact for a bit. There was a point in which text messages take about a day or more for a reply. At that point, I was fed up and moved on. Well, I TRIED to move on.
_______________________________________
Then came FurCon 2010.
I had a blast, and to be honest, a complete fur-slut. Granted, I learned about Second Life, drawing, networking, and of what the community is like.
On the third day, I was walking away from the Creator's Lounge to get some water and there he was.
"@#$?"
He glanced over to me as he was walking by and stopped. We exchanged hugs.
"Hey! How have you been? I haven't heard from you in forever!"
"Oh my god, how long has it been?"
"Three months."
"Wow."
"What are you doing here?" I said.
"I'm taking part of a tournament in the gaming room," he replied.
"Well, don't let me hold you up! Go pwn hard!"
"I will!" he said as he runs off to the end of the hallway.
As he ran off, I felt this hard pounding in my chest and I lost my balance. I placed my arm on the wall, and clutched my chest. I was breathing hard.
"Why?" I thought.
____________________________________________
Long story made short, I confessed my love to him on the last day of FurCon. We dated for a while until April. We had to break up because he was in love with someone else.
Granted, he didn't have the heart to tell me, fearing that my feelings would be hurt. I appreciated the gesture, and I even told him to go for the guy he has feelings for. I stepped aside. There was nothing that I could do, I can't make him fall out of love and get with me. How selfish would that be?
We are still friends, but I am keeping my distance as much as possible. I can't be at Chicken because it has too many memories. I can't see him because my heart would plummet down towards despair. Why?
When is it my turn? I did not get cheated on, kicked out, moved around, and be put at the bottom of someone's hierarchy just so I can lose out.
I'm tired of waiting. I'm tired of dating. I want to settle down with someone special. I am 23, and I know it may seem too soon, but I had to grow up fast in order to survive.
I know I deserve it.
